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Thread: CWA: SOUTH PACIFIC! [RESULTS]

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    CWA CWA: SOUTH PACIFIC! [RESULTS]

    [THE GOLD RUSH]
    Night One | Krevotsky Stadium. St. Petersburg, Russia.

    Night Two | Red Sqaure. Moscow, Russia.
    Night Three | Yekaterinburg State Circus. Yekaterinburg, Russia.
    Night Four | Olkhon Island. Lake Baikal, Russia.
    Night Five | Primorskiy Stage of the Marinsky Theatre, Vladivostok, Russia.

    *****

    CWA's "
    SOUTH PACIFIC".
    [THE LAUNCH-PAD]

    The eager viewers who turned on their television sets and tuned into whatever broadcaster was screening South Pacific in their market were greeted by a title card. This title card featured the company's logo, the event's logo, and a countdown timer. The minutes tick away towards the main show's scheduled start time.

    Underneath this countdown timer is a running order for 'The Launch-Pad'. Those tuning in on МАТУ3 in Russia, for instance, were greeted by the following information. The timings are given in both 24-hour and 12-hour formats, for those that struggle to read them...

    03.10: Королевская битва «Я здесь новенькая».
    [3:10am: The "Im New Here" Battle Royale.]

    03:35: Дикие Зуко в. Диего Гонзалес.
    [3:35am: Dicky Zuko vs. Diego Gonzalez.]

    03.45: Кадры за кулисами из Вануату.
    [3:45am: Backstage footage from Vanuatu.]

    04.00: Главное шоу начинается.
    [4am: Main show starts.]

    Patiently, you watch, and wait for something to happen.

    ****

    "03:10."

    Lindsay Monahan: "Ladies and gentlemen, this opening contest is the CWA 'I'm new here' Battle Royal!"

    A cheer echoes through the air, perhaps more due to the show starting and less due to the unknown talents about to appear. The strobe lights flash rapidly, as a smoky mist swathes across the floor of the arena... A headbanging guitar riff echoes...

    Ultimate Warrior Theme | Metal Cover
    Spoiler:

    ... And from the mist, bursts what can only be described as a Viking Goddess, gently grooving to a pretty good pop. It's kinda cute. She pivots, and SCREAMS. Someone's martini glass shatters.


    Lindsay Monahan: "Introducing first... from The Wandering Plains of Madness... weighing in at one-hundred and twenty-eight pounds, she known as 'The Powerful One...' 'Princess of the 12th Realm of Madness...' 'Mistress of Light and Shadow...' 'Manipulator of Magical Delights...' 'Devourer of Chaos...' 'Champion of the Great Halls of Terr'akkas...' Elves call her 'Fi’ang Yalok...' Dwarves know her as 'Zoenen Hoogstandjes...' Vampires refer to her exclusively as 'Hot Pants McGree...' LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THIS... IS... THE POWER!"

    Tim Coleman: "That is one hell of an introduction for some kind of... Norse enthusiast."

    Jim Taylor: "She's a Viking warrior and defender of the multi-verse, Tim. Show some respect."

    Tim Coleman: "You can't be serious."

    Jim Taylor: "Look, on the off-chance that that's 100% true, I'm covering my bases."


    THE POWER - all capitals - strides around the ring, slapping her palm against the guardrail. It might just be a trick of the light, but I swear, the guardrail quivers under her impact. She rolls into the ring, climbing onto the second ropes, and screaming a war cry at the audience. Someone screams back. THE POWER screams louder. She wins this round.

    Do The Right Thing | Ian Wright
    Spoiler:

    A groovy bongo beat hits the system, and out struts a man who looks like he fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. Clad in a very feathery robe, flattering his face with his fingers, the man blows a kiss at the audience, before snatching it out of the air and wagging a finger. The audience boos lightly. They really wanted that kiss.


    Lindsay Monahan: "From Yorkshire, England... Weighing in at two-hundred and sixty pounds... 'Pretty' Billy 'Mr.' Wright!"

    Tim Coleman: "Jim, forgive me for being blunt. But this man is butt-ugly. How on earth did he get the nickname 'Pretty?'"

    Jim Taylor: "Beauty is only skin-deep, Tim."

    Tim Coleman: "Maybe it's be deeper if that skin didn't look like roadkill."

    Jim Taylor: "Make no mistake, Tim - a veteran of the game, I imagine Billy Wright has a lot of knowhow and tricks up his sleeve."


    You know what else he has up his sleeve? A bottle of perfume, which he sprays himself with copiously as he gets into the ring. He raises his arms, posing, before removing the robe and handing it to a ringside technician.

    Spoiler:

    From the curtain, comes another veteran - though one not quite as extravagant at the previous Billy Wright. Sneering, this blonde man snatches a phone from a distracted audience member, shouting something that should get him kicked out, before tossing the phone to the ground. This earns him quite the round of jeers, which he responds by flipping the audience at large off.


    Lindsay Monahan: "From Hell's Kitchen, New York... Weighing in at two-hundred and fifty-four pounds... Trevor Walker!"

    Tim Coleman: "This fellow seems happy."

    Jim Taylor: "I'll be honest, I'm surprised Trevor Walker got the nod to compete - I don't think there's a more toxic man wrestling today."

    Tim Coleman: "That's a very unique title to hold."


    Trevor Walker rolls into the ring - no showboating, no flavour - and glances at THE POWER like one would glance at a leaking sewage tank. He glances at Billy Wright, showing equal disdain. I'm sure he'll make some friends tonight.

    Rat In Mi Kitchen | UB40
    Spoiler:

    The music comes back, with a very smooth, reggae track as a slim, notably hairy man wearing nothing more than a lime green mankini saunters out from the curtain. He picks up the tossed phone and hands it back to the audience member - the wrong audience member, but his heart's in the right place even if his attire isn't. A round of applause, however hesitant, goes his way.


    Lindsay Monahan: "From Kazakhstan... Weighing in at one-hundred and eighty pounds... Ratin Mikichin!"

    Tim Coleman: "That man is a heartbeat away from a wardrobe malfunction. Surely there's rules and regulations in terms of wrestling attire, right?"

    Jim Taylor: "Tim, our jobs are already awkward enough. Don't focus on the little things."

    Tim Coleman: "I don't see anything little on Ratin Mikichin."

    Jim Taylor: "Eyes above the waist, Tim."


    Ratin Mikichin climbs slooooooowly into the ring, doing some brief exercises, from jumping jacks, to push ups, to bending over and touching his toes. Someone in the audience directly behind him starts to cry.

    Kung Fu Fighting | Carl Douglas
    Spoiler:

    What an iconic song. Everyone knows it, and a few fans start to sing along, as man in a white gi confidently marches out from behind the curtain, placing his hands together and bowing to the audience, cheering him along.


    Lindsay Monahan: "From Los Angelos, California... Weighing in at two-hundred and twenty pounds... Kung Fu Karl!"

    Tim Coleman: "Karl was one of the few who performed recently at CWA: Gold Rush, albeit in a losing effort to Fiyero Lermontov. As a result, he's got slightly more of a fanbase than a lot of others, for reasons I can't quite understand."

    Jim Taylor: "You don't have to understand, Tim. Those lethal kicks of his will understand for you."

    Tim Coleman: "I feel like you're mocking me."

    Jim Taylor: "I hear his left foot is a registered lethal weapon."


    Kung Fu Karl rolls into the ring, taking center stage as he bows respectfully to his opponents, one by one. Ratin Mikichin bows back. Trevor Walker flips him off. Billy Wright flutters his hands. THE POWER bows back so fast she nearly headbutts the floor.

    I Know You Want Me | Pitbull
    Spoiler:

    A luchador springs out of the curtain, in a very colorful mask and suit lined with letters and numbers in big, block shapes. He bounces on his heels, offering a thumbs up to the cheering audience, before he slides into the ring.


    Lindsay Monahan: "From Guadalajara, Mexico... Weighing in at two-hundred and twenty-nine pounds... Juan Tothrefor!"

    Tim Coleman: "What's with the numbers? Did The Count from Sesame Street get fired?"

    Jim Taylor: "Juan is a highly popular mainstay in lucha libre, Tim. Infact he's a multiple-time champion in WLO, hosted by our very own Chubby Carlos, and I believe he uses his wrestling experience to assist with his second career - teaching at the Gudalajara Primary School."

    Tim Coleman: "So does he powerbomb his students through tables if they don't pass his math class?"

    Jim Taylor: "Highly doubtful, Tim. He's a luchadore, he'll armdrag them across the halls."


    Juan Tothrefor high-fives several fans at ringside, before rolling into the ring. He holds up one finger! Then two! Then three! Then four! Then closes it into a fist! My god, what a legend.

    New Level | A$AP Ferg
    Spoiler:

    From the curtain comes not just one wrestler, but an entire entourage, before a man carrying a pair of golden glittering boxing gloves pushes his way in front of the entourage. Surrounded by hype men, the boxer marches towards the ring, jawjacking at the jeering fans.


    Lindsay Monahan: "From Cincinnati, Ohio... Weighing in at one-hundred and fifty-five pounds... 'Lightning' Lamont Banner!"

    Tim Coleman: "Oh, I've heard of this guy! He's a real piece of work."

    Jim Taylor: "Indeed, Tim. Whilst Lamont is primarily a boxer, he's become an infamous figure in wrestling due to his frequent and disgusting comments aimed not only at wrestling, but beloved wrestlers who aren't with us anymore. Quite frankly, I'm stunned Noah Hanson personally invited this git to compete here."

    Tim Coleman: "It's business, Jim. Lamont Banner's a well-known figure, controversial though he may be, and he brings a bit of extra eyes on the product. No harm in asking him to put up or shut up."

    Jim Taylor: "Watching him tap out to Luna Piper during night four of Launch Pad was a wonderful view. I can only hope we get a similar situation tonight."


    Putting in his mouthguard and tugging on his boxing gloves, 'Lightning' Lamont Banner has a whispered conversation with his coach, 'Thunder' Tyler McGuirk, before abruptly turning to several fans at ringside and verbally dousing them in gasoline. He rolls into the ring, as his entourage of coaches, hype men, and lackeys stick around at ringside.

    Take On Me | A-ha
    Spoiler:

    From the curtain, meekly steps out some sort of human-steampunk-sheep hybrid, mostly due to the mask. The big man awkwardly waves, fidgeting, seemingly overwhelmed with the size of the audience politely clapping at him. He even seems to take a step of two back, before powering through and marching towards the ring.


    Lindsay Monahan: "From Wittenoom, Australia... Weighing in at three-hundred and ten pounds... Devour The Suffering!"

    Tim Coleman: "Alright, you don't gotta spell it out for me - Look at this guy and his name. He's some bigass scary monster, right?"

    Jim Taylor: "Ooooh, swing and a miss, Tim. Devour The Suffering - 'Devour' for short, 'Devour The Suffering, Cleanse The Streets Of The Plague' for long - actually seems to be one of the more gentle and quieter wrestlers out there. He could probably still crush someone's head like a watermelon, but by all accounts he seems like a lovely, if awkward, guy."

    Tim Coleman: "But... But the name! The look! He's a spooky movie slasher villain who probably kidnaps people in his spare time!"

    Jim Taylor: "I think he's too shy to even approach people outside of work, Tim. Honestly he's been found to be pretty endearing, in spite of the name."


    Devour The Suffering climbs into the ring and immediately shuffles to an empty corner, awkwardly avoiding eye contact. He glances around. Juan Tothrefor nods his head at him. Devour hesitantly nods back. It's cute af.

    Stupid Intruders | The Vincent Black Shadow
    Spoiler:

    A punkish riff reverberates through the arena, as a woman with what could be honestly described as a horrendously offensive green mohawk, struts through the curtain to tepid boos. She throws up some sort of vague punk-rock hand signal that I'm sure looks fine, before walking towards the ring, mouthing off all the while.


    Lindsay Monahan: "From Sydney, Australia... Weighing in at one-hundred and forty-one pounds... 'Dastardly' Violet Dreyer!"

    Tim Coleman: "That mohawk looks familiar."

    Jim Taylor: "It should, Tim. In addition to being somewhat featured when CWA legend and FWA personality Krash needs a secondary character, Violet Dreyer has actually appeared on several fringe promotions just outside of the CWA/FWA big leagues, always on the cusp of breaking through but not quite getting there. She also appeared during night four's Launch Pad in a losing effort, but despite this she's amassed a bit of a fanbase who really want her signed."

    Tim Coleman: "Why?"

    Jim Taylor: "I'm honestly not sure why, Tim."


    Throwing insults at anyone who even glances at her, Violet Dreyer rolls into the ring, getting in the face of several of her opponents. Trevor Walker scoffs and rolls his eyes. Devour the Suffering shrinks away under her vulgar spiel. Lamont Banner insults her right back, and the two immediately devolve into a shouting match.

    Locked Up | Akon
    Spoiler:

    Out from the curtain, enters a beefy man swinging a nightstick, dressed in a prison guard outfit. He threateningly gestures at the booing audience, marching towards the ring.


    Lindsay Monahan: "From The Clink... Weighing in at three-hundred and ten pounds... 'Squeaky Clean' Dick Washer!"

    Tim Coleman: "Finally, a respectable man of the law."

    Jim Taylor: "I wouldn't be so sure of that, Tim. Dick Washer may stand against crime and corruption, but there's a lot of people who believe his methods are too much."

    Tim Coleman: "And what, we should just let anarchy reign throughout the country? Is that what you want, Jim?"

    Jim Taylor: "I didn't know you were so favourable of strawmen, Tim."


    Dick Washer climbs into the ring, immediately pointing his nightstick at Juan Tothrefor - "GOT YOUR GREEN CARD?" - Violet Dreyer - "I DON'T LIKE THE LOOK OF YOU" - and Ratin Mikichin - "INDECENT EXPOSURE" - to name a few.

    Vice Point | VHS Dreams
    Spoiler:

    A super sythn beat hits the system, as a man looking like he just stepped out of the neon nineties grooves out from behind the curtain. Fannyback around his waist, he jogs on the spot, psyching himself up, before sprinting towards the ring. The people boo this relic of a forgotten time.


    Lindsay Monahan: "From Twin Falls, Idaho... Weighing in at two-hundred and twenty-two pounds... RetroJethro1984!"

    Tim Coleman: "These guys keep getting weirder and weirder."

    Jim Taylor: "It's a strange world we live in, Tim. But RetroJethro1984 - you have to say the full name, Tim - is almost certainly a threat, with over thirty years of tape watching experience."

    Tim Coleman: "You mean wrestling experience, or-"

    Jim Taylor: "No. Tape watching experience. Some of which likely included wrestling. So he certainly knows what's up."


    RetroJethro1984 slides into the ring, ripping off his fannypack and hoisting it in the air. This gets some scattered applause. He awkwardly clips it back on, unzipping it and pulling out a protein bar, chewing on it with his mouth open. His fellow competitors look on in disgust.

    Phase | Breaking Benjamin
    Spoiler:

    Rock riffs hard through the arena, as a brick shithouse of a man dressed in war-torn casual wear stomps through the curtain. He doesn't stop for a pose, nor pause to take in the crowd. No, he strides towards the ring, breathing like an animal, glaring at those awaiting him. The crowd pumps up, giving this vicious man a welcome reception.


    Lindsay Monahan: "Weighing in at two-hundred and forty-five pounds... The Man known as... FaZe!"

    Tim Coleman: "I'm getting an underground vigilante kind of feel with this FaZe fellow, Jim. Guy's intense with a capital INT."

    Jim Taylor: "That's a pretty accurate reading, Tim. Little, if anything, is known about FaZe - we don't even know where he's from. What we do know is that he's a walking cannonball of destruction, as if that is his entire purpose for being on this planet."

    Tim Coleman: "I wouldn't want to meet him in a dark alley."

    Jim Taylor: "Or even a light one, for that matter. While FaZe's appearance during the Launch Pad earlier this year didn't go the way he planned, with a loss to XYZ, he more than made his mark, and left XYZ with more than his fair share of bruises."

    FaZe climbs into the ring, shoving himself in the face of several wrestlers. Few talk back to him. THE POWER meets his gaze. Devour the Suffering cringes away. Trevor Walker smirks, chewing his gum. FaZe doesn't back down from any of them.

    No Glory | Skan & Krale
    Spoiler:

    Huh, this theme sounds familiar. The man walking out to it isn't, though he's a fuckin' big guy so maybe it's a moot point. Taller with lush, shoulder-length blonde hair, he shakes his head in a rather 'these people think they can hang with me' kind of way as he glances at the competition, a smug grin on his face as he approaches the ring.


    Lindsay Monahan: "From Orange County, California... Weighing in at two-hundred and ninety-two pounds... "The Master of the Powerbomb"... Shaun Primax!"

    Tim Coleman: "'The Master of the Powerbomb.' What's that mean, Jim?"

    Jim Taylor: "It means what it says, Tim. Shaun Primax is something of a prodigy at the art of powerbombs - in the ring, outside the ring, anywhere and everywhere, from any position - the man can and will find a way to powerbomb you."

    Tim Coleman: "Sounds like a pretty unique skillet. So if I were to, say... attempt to piledrive him?"

    Jim Taylor: "Powerbomb."

    Tim Coleman: "DDT?"

    Jim Taylor: "Powerbomb."

    Tim Coleman: "Reverse tornado scoop slam?"

    Jim Taylor: "Powerbomb."

    Tim Coleman: "Cool."

    Jim Taylor: "Indeed. While he was unsuccessful in his attempt to gain a victory during night four's Launch Pad, I think many pegged him as a very big favourite to win the entire thing."


    Shaun Primax flips his hair over his shoulders as he steps into the ring, towering over the other wrestlers. Kung Fu Karl puffs his chest out. Primax puffs his chest right back, forcing Karl to take a step or two back.

    Heart | Barracuda
    Spoiler:

    It's not long before the boos start to become deafening, as a woman with dirty blonde hair and a pair of sunglasses steps out from behind the curtain, her face grimacing in distaste at the fans around her. As she approaches the ring, the camera catches a particularly vulgar catchphrase printed on her trunks, and the cameraman audibly sighs.


    Lindsay Monahan: "From Gainesville, Georgia... Weighing in at one-hundred and thirty-one pounds... Kasey Connor!"

    Tim Coleman: "Wait. No, I know this one - That's the sister to Ethan and Drew Connor!"

    Jim Taylor: "You are correct, Tim! Kasey Connor has some family in CWA, and if you believe the rumours, The Echo are the nicer siblings compared to her."

    Tim Coleman: "That's one hell of an accomplishment."

    Jim Taylor: "Indeed. Rumour has it she actually was a rostered member of CWA for a brief amount of time, but there's some conflicting reports that we don't have time to get into. Much like Kung Fu Karl, she appeared during one of the Launch Pads during Gold Rush, assisting her siblings to a victory over the Diamond Dogs."

    Kasey Connor slides into the ring, lowering her sunglasses as her eyes trail over the others. Her gaze stops for a brief second on Ratin Mikichin, turning into an expression of sheer disgust, before getting as far away from Ratin as possible.

    "Are you ready, to go under?"

    The lights go dark. The arena is bathed in darkness... Aside from a pair of orange spirals, slowly spinning, just beside the entrance curtain. The spirals seem to bounce and groove, lights briefly flashing, before a neon green underglow lights up a DJ's booth, the bouncing spirals above it. A magenta strobe light illuminates a woman operating the booth, those spirals emulating from a pair of goggles strapped over her face.

    Edge | REZZ
    Spoiler:

    Setting the booth to play a groovy trance beat, the woman steps forward as the lights come back on, flashing bright colors. She hypes up the crowd, encouraging them to ''let the beat take you under", as she removes her goggles and hat to a massive cheer.


    Lindsay Monahan: "From Stepford, Connecticut... Weighing in at one-hundred and forty-six pounds... 'The Trance Queen'... Luna Piper!"

    Tim Coleman: "That is quite the entrance, Jim."

    Jim Taylor: "Way to undersell it, Tim. Luna Piper is an expert in crowd control and hype, as shown with this massive entrance getting the crowd on their feet. A lot of people walk out with the goal of having people talk about them after the match - Luna walks out with the goal of having people talk about her even before the match."

    Tim Coleman: "I'd say she's already achieved that goal firmly in hand."

    Jim Taylor: "But that being said, we shouldn't discount Luna Piper as all icing, no donut. She's a very agile, very athletic competitor capable of turning her foes for a loop. Infact she's one of the few competitors already with a win under her name, having beaten Lamont Banner, Violet Dreyer, and Shaun Primax during night four's Launch Pad."


    Sliding into the ring, Luna Piper rhythmically nods at several of her fellow wrestlers, some of whom have fallen under the beat. RetroJethro1984 starts doing the cabbage patch. Lamont Banner starts grooving, before catching himself and scowling. And Juan Tothrefor just vibes.

    Liberty City The Invasion | Seryoga
    Spoiler:

    With the Russian federation flag draped behind him, a man in all red - complete with Ushanka hat - struts confidently out from behind the curtain. He stands tall, smirking - until the sound of boos reach his ears and he whips his head around in surprise.


    Lindsay Monahan: "From Moscow, Russia... Weighing in at one-hundred and ninety pounds... Fiyero Lermontov!"

    Jim Taylor: "When we last saw Fiyero Lermontov, he had the entrance of all entrances during the inaugural Launch Pad, although there were suspicions that some of the more enthusiastic fans may have been plants."

    Tim Coleman: "Judging from the reception, that seems like a confirmable theory, Jim."

    Jim Taylor: "Indeed. Though he did end up winning his match for the Launch Pad, beating Kung Fu Karl in the process, so it should be said that he can definitely fight with the best of them. We may be looking at a solid contender, Tim."


    Climbing into the ring, Fiyero Lermontov stomps to the middle, posing, before he turns to Kung Fu Karl... And smirks, ever so slightly. Kung Fu Karl steps forward, and Lermontov just shoves him right back. He turns, glances at Ratin Mikichin, and visibly grimaces.

    Danger In The Jungle | Haku
    Spoiler:

    Without preamble, a rather rugged-looking islander stomps out of the curtain - stomping with no shoes, so you know he's a tough cookie. He roars, making a beeline for the ring while a certain other competitor suddenly looks very, very uneasy, and the fans start a death chant in support.


    Lindsay Monahan: "From the Isle of Samoa... Weighing in at two-hundred and ninety pounds... Tank Aikae!"

    Jim Taylor: "Tank Aikae! From the legendary Samoan wrestling family! No-one hits harder than an Aikae, Tim, and no-one takes hits to no effect like an Aikae."

    Tim Coleman: "Oh yeah. It's like a family full of terminators. Samoan terminators who don't wear shoes."

    Jim Taylor: "The analogy fits, Tim. And you'll notice that throughout this battle royal, Tank might have eyes for one wrestler in particular."

    Tim Coleman: "Is it RetoJethro1984?"


    Perhaps not, Tim. Tank Aikae rolls into the ring, and immediately starts staring down none other than Violet Dreyer. The long and storied and rather one-sided history between those two families is nothing short of infamous, and as Dreyer attempts to place a terrified Devour the Suffering in between her and Aikae, Tank Aikae only now glances at his other competitors, before resuming his target.

    Holding Out For A Hero | Bonnie Tyler
    Spoiler:

    As a single bit of pyro goes off - only one, but loud enough to create a BOOM - a man dressed in a pale blue jumpsuit and a glittering yellow cape does a pretty cool barrel roll through the curtain. He rips the cape off, displaying it proudly above his head as the audience applauds.


    Lindsay Monahan: "From Palm Springs, California... Weighing in at two-hundred and twenty-six pounds... Jimmy Boom Boom!"

    Tim Coleman: "I think I saw this guy doing Andy Samburg's stunts not too long ago."

    Jim Taylor: "The resemblance is uncanny, Tim. And Jimmy Boom Boom does indeed hand a tendency to throw himself headfirst into a situation - the man's a thrillseeker through and through. I imagine his lack of self-preservation will either serve him well or bite him in the backside tonight."

    Jimmy Boom Boom climbs onto the top turnbuckle and does a sweet front flip, landing on his feet as he tosses the cape to the closest person - who in this case happens to be Trevor Walker. Walker promptly wipes his ass with the cape.

    The Meg Musical
    Spoiler:

    The reaction can only be described as sheer, absolute apathy, as a smaller woman wearing a slightly oversized hoodie nonchalantly steps out from the curtain. She pauses, basking in the non-reaction with a bland expression, before approaching the ring.


    Lindsay Monahan: "From Meg's Boyfriend's House... Weighing in at one-hundred and twnty-nine pounds... Meg!"

    Tim Coleman: "... So... uh... I've never heard a crowd go instantly silent, Jim."

    Jim Taylor: "Much like FWA standout Greg, Meg exudes an aura of apathy. Perhaps the fans are joining in on her apathy in a show of solidarity. It might be carefully calculated to get into her opponent's head, or it just might be literally nothing. In either case, Meg appeared during one of the later Launch Pads in a very, very unsuccessful effort against Lilith, so I imagine that's eating away at her. Surely. Potentially. Maybe. I honestly wouldn't know."

    I mean, there's no visual indication of such, but yeah, sure. Meg rolls into the ring, unwrapping a stick of gum and tossing a bit in her mouth. Ratin Mikichin asks for some too. This request is summarily ignored.

    The Past Should Stay Dead | Emarosa
    Spoiler:

    There's a massive pop - albeit with a trace amount of booing - as a VERY HANDSOME man dressed completely in black, green, and gold jogs out of the entrance, shrugging out of his jacket as he stops himself, one foot high in the air, before stomping on the floor hard enough to leave a mild dent.


    Lindsay Monahan: "From Toronto, Canada... Weighing in at two-hundred and thirty-five pounds... 'Machine' Mikey Williams!"

    Tim Coleman: "Did this guy just leave a dent in the floor?!? What's his feet made out of, steel?"

    Jim Taylor: "Yes, Tim, they are. After a horrific motorcycle accident, Mikey Williams had the lower halves of his legs reconstructed from steel, titanium, and nanotechnology to be the world's first cybernetic wrestler. The man has two steel cannonballs for feet, and he's 100% allowed to used them as see fit, according to his doctor's note."

    Tim Coleman: "That seems a bit unfair to everyone else, Jim."

    Jim Taylor: "What's the alternative, Tim? You'd have him wrestle without any legs?"

    Tim Coleman: "Now who's being a strawman?"


    Mikey Williams bounces into the ring, tapping a foot against the top turnbuckle, gesturing to it with a grin. Billy Wright reaches out and taps it for himself, recoiling at the hard steel.

    Unscripted Violence | Violent Idols
    Spoiler:

    Out from the curtain, steps a man covered head to toe in a traditional samurai outfit. No sword, which is probably for the best, given how twitchy he seems to be. Surrounded by tepid boos, he slowly approaches the ring, removing bits of his samurai armour one by one, until he finally removes his helmet, revealing an Aisan man with long, black hair.


    Lindsay Monahan: "From Osaka, Japan... Weighing in at one-hundred and seventy pounds... KAOTIK!"

    Tim Coleman: "What's with the samurai outfit?"

    Jim Taylor: "It looks cool, Tim, that's all you need. KAOTIK is something of a wrestling prodigy - trained at a young age by the legendary GOAT, he's one of the youngest competitors in the match, but also the most deadly. There's no submission this man doesn't know."

    Tim Coleman: "Oh really? What about the Three-Quarter Halfstep Neruotoxin Enrichment Gondola?"

    Jim Taylor: "I don't know wether you're making that up, but yes. He probably knows that one."


    Climbing into the ring, KAOTIK is a bundle of energy, feinting a dart towards Jimmy Boom Boom before recoiling. He's eager to get this started, but we still have a few entrances left...

    Alliance Commissioner | Jim Johnston
    Spoiler:

    From the curtain, enters a luchador dressed in all-black, modified slightly to look like a tuxedo, including a lovely black bowtie around his neck. Hands clasped behind his back, the man bows, to a sea of fans booing him.


    Lindsay Monahan: "From Mexico... Weighing in at one-hundred and seventy-four pounds... Sirviente!"

    Tim Coleman: "I must admit, I'm surprised at the level of booing towards this man. What's he done that's so terrible?"

    Jim Taylor: "Technically speaking, Tim, nothing. Sirviente is a very fine wrestler, but he's representing his boss, Multimillionairo, who as the Campeonato Del Mundo should be in this battle royal as per the agreement with AOL. However, he refused to compete, sending his butler to compete for him. As such, Sirviente is receiving a double-heaping of boos, not just for who he is, but who he isn't, too. The fans were promised Multimillionairo, and were given Sirviente."

    Tim Coleman: "That's a bit harsh. Guy's just doing his job."

    Sirviente rolls into the ring, posing stoically despite the wave of jeering aimed his way, and shoots a sole, solitary glance at Juan Tothrefor. The two luchadores, both with history in Chubby Carlos's promotion. Perhaps an alliance will prevail?

    The Abominable Snowman | Humphrey Searle
    Spoiler:

    Jaws drop, as out of the curtain steps a fucking giant. Bigger than anyone else by far, he slowly approaches the ring at TOP SPEED, which is more like a glacial pace. Roaring, the Abominable Snowman raises both arms in the air, and accidently punches a low-flying seagull.


    Lindsay Monahan: "From the Snowy Mountains of Lichtenstein... Weighing in at three-hundred and seventy-four pounds... The Abominable Snowman!"

    Tim Coleman: "Holy shit this guy is MASSIVE. What's his deal?"

    Jim Taylor: "Well, according to lore, he's a neanderthalian alpha hunter during the ice age, until one day he fell into a pond and got frozen into a block of ice. It was only very recently that he was thawed out, and naturally, decided to become a wrestler."

    Tim Coleman: "... Y'know what? I don't care if you're trying to bullshit me. I'm buying it. Monster caveman from millions of years ago? Why the hell not."

    The Abominable Snowman steps over the ropes, approaching his foes with a smile, clapping his hands as he does so. He offers a high-five, which unsurprisingly goes unanswered.

    Spoiler:

    With no theme music, a tall woman with a long, leather jacket steps out of the curtain, to a very loud pop. She pauses to take in the reception, hands on her hips, before nodding, and approaches the ring.


    Lindsay Monahan: "From Chicago, Illinois... Weighing in at one-hundred and seventy pounds... Kara Stacey!"

    Tim Coleman: "Despite the minimalistic entrance, Kara Stacey seems mighty popular."

    Jim Taylor: "Very astute, Tim. If there's anything about Kara Stacey, it's that she's genuine. What you see is what you get, no bells or whistles. Plus fans love seeing her run over someone."


    Kara Stacey steps into the ring, and goes right up to the biggest man - The Abominable Snowman - to a monster pop. She doesn't even take her eyes off him, as the final entrant arrives...

    Together | Ted Nuget
    Spoiler:

    And what comes out is a bespecaled man wearing a Reagan Cole t-shirt. An awkward hum echoes through the arena, as he starts screaming incoherently.


    Lindsay Monahan: "From Essex, England... Weighing in at one-hundred and fifty-four pounds... 'The Apprentice to the British Apprentice', Keegan Role!"

    Tim Coleman: "Uh-"

    Jim Taylor: "Yes, Tim. The ultimate Reagan Cole fanboy. He's reportedly a very talented grappler, even if his goal in life is a bit... hmmm."

    Tim Coleman: "And his goal is...?"

    Jim Taylor: "Reagan Cole, Tim. The goal for Keegan Role is Reagan Cole."

    Tim Coleman: "That's a tongue-twister and a half."


    Keegan Role rolls into the ring, demanding for the bell to ring so he can get this shit started. With a shrug, the referee motions for the bell.

    The Launch-Pad: The "I'm New Here" Battle Royale Match.
    Entrants: The Power, “Pretty” Billy “Mr.” Wright, Trevor Walker, Ratin Mikichin, Kung Fu Karl, Juan Tothrefor, “Lightning” Lamont Banner, Devour the Suffering, Violet Dreyer, “Squeaky Clean” Dick Washer, RetroJethro1984, FaZe, “Superstar” Shawn Primax, Kasey Conner, “TheTranceQueen” Luna Piper, Fiyero Lermontov, Tank Aikae, Jimmy Boom Boom, Meg, “Machine” Mikey Williams, KAOTIK, Sirviente, The Abominable Snowman, Kara Stacey, "The Apprentice to the British Apprentice" Keegan Role.
    (1/--)

    The bell rings, and the match begins! All twenty-five competitors immediately burst into a frenzy, the scene quickly devolving into your bog-standard battle royal brawl as the flesh of violence splinters off into different minibattles between wrestlers. Let's check in and see who's doing what.

    In the middle of the ring, the three biggest wrestlers meet, face-to-face-to-face: The Abominable Snowman, Shaun Primax, and Devour the Suffering, all for different reasons: Shaun appears to have seeked out the biggest threat, smirking in a very self-assured way, eager to confirm his own perception as the biggest dog in the fight. Devour is just trying to stay out of everyone's way, looking around very nervously, fidgeting at the collar of his suit. And Abominable Snowman is just sort of... Standing there, looking around. He seems pretty cheerful though. Shaun Primax makes the first strike, striking with an open palm slap to the chest of Abominable Snowman, who barely budges as he laughs it off joyously, before grunting/screaming very, very loudly.

    Tim Coleman: "What forgotten and mysterious language this Abominable Snowman speaks. Truly, a man from before our time."

    Jim Taylor: "It just sounds like caveman screaming to me."

    Tim Coleman: "Don't be insensitive, Jim."


    Abominable Snowman strikes Shaun Primax with a slap to the chest of his own! Primax staggers, the sheer force of a casual slap sending him taking a step back. Abominable Snowman turns to Devour the Suffering, who nervously waves. Abominable Snowman raises a mammoth hand and waves back. Devour fidgets, before waving again. Abominable Snowman waves back once more. This seems very nice and heartwarming, if somewhat awkward. This endearing moment is broken by Primax, who storms back up to Abominable Snowman and lets loose with a series of palm slaps and strikes to the chest of Abominable Snowman! With every strike, the smile starts to fade from Abominable Snowman's face, as he takes a step back! He's on the retreat! Having make the giant go on a retreat, even just for a moment, Primax nods to himself, and turns - only to eat a lariat from Devour the Suffering!

    Jim Taylor: "That's something to keep an eye on - Shaun Primax stood toe-to-toe with the biggest wrestler in this match and made them take a step back. It's small steps, but it's definitely something to keep an eye out for."

    In the north corner, Tank Aikae has eyes for only one person. It's a long-standing family rivalry between the Aikae Dynasty and the Dreyer Family, spanning back decades over a stiffed $20 payment. Thus, with a member of his eternal rival clan in the match, it's Tank Aikae's duty to beat the stuffing out of them, as is tradition.

    Jim Taylor: "In this match, there might be no-one quite as feared as Tank Aikae. He might not look the most intimidating, but you ask around anywhere across the world, and there's a Tank Aikae story. Whether it's biting the nose off of a heckler in New York, drinking enough alcohol in Toronto to the point where the bar had to close early, or his infamous brawl with Jon Snowmantashi in Japan-"

    Tim Coleman: "The results of which, no-one's entirely certain about. What we ARE certain about is that Tank's come into this match with a predestined target: Violet Dreyer."

    Jim Taylor: "The intense feud between those two families dates back generations, but it looks like Tank might have to wait a little bit longer to get his hands on his rival, as, well..."


    Unfortunately for Tank, he's distracted by KAOTIK currently attempting to lock in a heel hook on the big man. See, the second the match began, KAOTIK sprung himself at the nearest opponent and began to try and twist them into a knot with his Goat-taught technical submission wizardry. Normally this could've easily taken that opponent to the ground and allowed KAOTIK to dismantle them with some of his favourites grounded submissions. However, the closest person is the aforementioned Tank Aikae, built like a brick shithouse and twice as deadly. Slithering around Tank Aikae's body like a snake with zero sense of personal space, KAOTIK immediately locks in an armbar, followed by a butterfly lock, followed by a cravate chinlock, followed by another armbar, all in the space of five seconds, eager to find that one weakness and pick at it until Aiake shows defeat.

    Tim Coleman: "KAOTIK is one of the youngest wrestlers in this match. He might also be the most knowledgeable in terms of limb and joint manipulation. He'll find a weakness and exploit it-"

    Jim Taylor: "If he can. He's going through so many different holds to see if there's one particular area that Tank Aikae is weaker in than others. Some might say him going from hold to hold to hold in such a short timespan is impatiently spotty, and to a degree it might be, but there's a plan: he needs to do is find one area weaker than the rest, and he'll grind it down until there's nothing left."


    The problem with this theory is that Tank Aikae seems more casually amused at KAOTIK's attempts to find a clear weak point than anything. The only reason KAOTIK's wrapped himself around Aikae for so long is simply because Aikae couldn't get a hold on him, but as KAOTIK transitions from an octopus hold into a piggyback sleeper, Aikae decides that enough is enough and promptly crushes him with a backpacker drop, before resuming his search for his eternal rival.

    Nearby, Viking Warrior Princess THE POWER finds herself toe-to-toe with VHS prodigy, RetroJethro1984! Grabbing his stack of late fees/bills from his fannypack, RetroJethro1984 quickly attempts to find his opponent's name!

    Tim Coleman: "Jim, what can you tell us about either of these wrestlers?"

    Jim Taylor: "You wouldn't believe me if I tried. All you need to know is that if RetroJethro finds an invoice with THE POWER's name on it-"

    Tim Coleman: "As in, addressed to 'THE POWER' and not an actual name?"

    Jim Taylor: "I-Maybe? Look, the point is if he can find a receipt with his opponent's name, then financially speaking they're done for."


    Alas, THE POWER's upbringing does not lend itself to patience, and she grabs RetroJethro1984 as his ruffling in his fannypack, effortlessly lifts him on her shoulders, and begins spinning! The fans begin counting the rotations as invoices and late fees scatter from RetroJethro's fannypack! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! TEN! ELEVEN! TWELVE! THIRTEEN! FOURTEEN! FIFTEEN! SIXTEEN! SEVENTEEN! EIGHTEEN! NINETEEN! TWENTYYYY! THE POWER starts to slow down, grinding to a halt as a very, very dizzy RetroJethro1984 pleads to be let down. THE POWER crouches, and for a brief second RetroJethro's back on the mat...

    "POOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEEEEER!"

    ... Before THE POWER springs back up and airplane spins RetroJethro in the opposite direction! The counting continues! We'll check back on them later.

    In the East corner, Keegan Role and Mikey Williams attempt to match strikes with each other! William's lethal weapons, his prosthetic metal legs, shoot high and low as Keegan Role tried deftly to avoid each blow. He ducks under a roundhouse, grabbing William's leg and knocks him off balance, before locking in an ankle lock!

    "REAGAN!" Keegan Role shrieks as he wrenches on the ankle of Mikey Williams. "YOU CAN'T IGNORE ME ANY MORE REGAN COLE!"

    Jim Taylor: "Do you notice something unusual about this picture before us?"

    Tim Coleman: "Aside from the Reagan Cole fanboy?"

    Jim Taylor: "I meant the Reagan Cole fanboy attempting to twist the ankle of a man who has metal ankles."


    Indeed. Mikey Williams completely no-sells the attempt, shrugging. As Keegan Role screams again, aimed directly towards Reagan Cole who I'm absolutely certain that even if he's not watching, he can still hear it, Williams axe kicks Role in the gut with his free foot. The metal foot knocks the wind out of Keegan Role, releasing the hold, and Williams slithers away.

    Slightly to the left of this action, we have Ratin Mikichin, stretching all of his limbs and joints, jogging on the spot with a lot of... noticeable jiggling... in a certain area. It's almost hypnotic. Pulling out a tube of baby oil from... Somewhere, he begins to spread it across his body, taking his time as everyone collectively decides not to make eye contact with him. Suddenly, he interrupts Kasey Connor, halfway through punching Kara Stacey in the mouth!

    "You! You wish to engage in traditional Kazakhstan-Roman Grappling, yes? Is very nice!"

    For added effect, he slaps his own thighs. They leave oily handprints. Kasey Connor reacts like you just dangled a dead fish in front of her face, and immediately grabs Kara Stacey and pushes her towards Ratin Mikichin. Stacey takes one look at the hunched over Mikichin, wriggling his fingers, and nopes out of there, pushing Kasey to face him instead.

    Tim Coleman: "Kasey Connor and Kara Stacey seem hesitant to make contact with Ratin Mikichin."

    Jim Taylor: "I can see one very noticeable reason why they don't want to."

    Tim Coleman: "Eyes up, Jim. We're professionals."


    As Kara Stacey and Kasey Connor continue to fight over not facing Mikichin, Ratin Mikichin slumps down, clearly dejected - until a hand taps him on the shoulder! It's Meg! Meg doesn't seem particularly bothered by the prospect of grappling with Ratin Mikichin, if only because nothing really seems to bother her anyway. A blank slate of emotion, that girl. Ratin Mikichin hip thrusts in celebration! Meg doesn't even blink, and simply punches him in the mouth. Mikichin stumbles back, tripping over Kasey Connor & Kara Stacey, and the three woman exchange a silent glance, before all three start laying the boots in to Mikichin.

    Over at the South corner, Kung Fu Karl has gone right after Fiyero Lermontov! Eager to get revenge on his loss to the fiery Russian back at Night Two of CWA: Gold Rush, Kung Fu Karl surprises Fiyero with a spinning palm strike and a thrust kick, stunning Lermontov! Lermontov is unable to mount a defence, caught so off guard! Kung Fu Karl poises for the Crane Kick! - But suddenly Dick Washer accosts him, forearming him across the back!

    "HEY, YOU CAN'T DISPLAY MARTIAL ARTS WITHOUT A LICENSE!" Dick Washer demands, stomping on Kung Fu Karl. "LET ME SEE YOUR CEDENTIALS!"

    Jim Taylor: "I would've assumed the black belt Kung Fu Karl is wearing is enough to show proper credentials."

    Tim Coleman: "See, it's thinking like that that makes it easier for people to operate without a martial arts license. Kudos to Dick Washer for keeping his eyes open to Kung Fu Karl's nefarious misdeeds."


    Fiyero Lermontov, furious over being caught off guard like that, shoves Dick Washer away from Kung Fu Karl, for the sole purpose of beating up Kung Fu Karl himself. Washer takes offense to this, and shoves Lermontov aside in return. The two start to square off only for Jimmy Boom Boom to enter the scene, throwing himself at the two villains the same way you'd throw a bowling ball at a round of bowling pins. Washer & Lermontov go down! Scrambling back to his feet, Kung Fu Karl stomps Lermontov in the chest once, just to rub it in, before turning to Jimmy Boom Boom. Jimmy Boom Boom offers a fistbump right as Kung Fu Karl takes a respectful bow, resulting in Karl headbutting Jimmy's fist. Both reel back. Dunno who got the worst of that one.

    Nearby, Juan Tothrefor & Sirviente are locked in a staredown of all staredowns! Those familiar with Chubby Carlos's Art of Lucha promotion knew these two would be going headfirst for one another. Juan Tothrefor eliminating the lackey of El Multimillionario would certainly be a message sent! Sirviente strikes first with a chop to the chest, grabbing Tothrefor's arm and bouncing off the ropes in the usual lucha-style armdrag, sending Tothrefor sliding across the ring. Sirviente glances around for approval, only to get jeers.

    Tim Coleman: "You've got to feel that there's a lot of pressure on Sirviente - not only is he in here with Juan Tothrefor, who is openly aiming to get him out, but he's also here in place of Multimillionario. Instead of one of AOL's greatest stars, we've been given his lackey."

    Jim Taylor: "That is an unenviable position - despite Sirviente being a very well polished athlete, everyone was expecting Multimillionario. But surely if Sirviente wins this, this'll put him in the good graces with his employer. It's a shame too - Sirviente is clearly talented, but he's fighting an uphill battle to win over anyone here tonight."


    Determined, Sirviente continues his offense on Juan Tothrefor, sprinting at him and clutching him with a headscissors, sending him over the ropes! But Tothrefor hangs on, lifts himself back onto the apron, and leaps right back in with a diving cross body, crushing Sirviente flat! He follows this up with a flashy cartwheel elbow drop onto Sirviente! The crowd cheers heavily, very pro-Tothrefor tonight, much to Sirviente's chagrin.

    Wait, what's this? Trevor Walker, Grizzled Old Veteran and self-proclaimed 'Best Kept Secret' has slipped under the ropes and rolled out of the ring, away from the action! Tapping a finger at his own forehead, the game plan is obvious here - stay out of the action, stay rested, before swooping in for easy pickings. Walker laughs at his own genius, resting his palms on the apron, before he notices something, and temporarily stops chewing gum. On the opposite side of the ring, Dastardly Dirtbag Violet Dreyer slinks under the ropes, and rolls to the outside too! Putting his hands on his hips, Walker jerks his head in Dreyer's direction, as if to say 'you seeing this shit?'

    Tim Coleman: "The phrase 'great minds think alike' come to mind."

    Jim Taylor: "I wouldn't use that phrase to describe either Trevor Walker nor Violet Dreyer, Tim. But perhaps with two likeminded individuals, an alliance may form."


    Trevor Walker suddenly slams a palm on the apron. "HEY!" He shouts, gesturing towards Violet Dreyer. "GET BACK IN THE RING!"

    On the other side of the ring, Violet Dreyer seems borderline offended that someone is trying to tell her what to do. "WHO LET YOU OUT OF THE RETIREMENT HOME, COFFIN DODGER?!? WHY DON'T YOU FIND YOUR DENTURES AND BITE ME!"

    Trevor Walker reels, as if he just got slapped by a ghost. "LISTEN HERE, SNOWFLAKE, GET THAT ASS OF YOURS IN THE RING BEFORE I DO A WHOLE LOT MORE THAN JUST BITE YOU!"

    "HEY WHAT WAS IT LIKE WHEN THE DINOSAURS WERE AROUND?"

    "YOU LITTLE- DON'T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE AND SMACK A BITCH! IT WON'T BE THE FIRST TIME I'VE DONE IT!"

    "BRING IT, OLD MAN JENKINS!"

    And so, with that earnest debate, Trevor Walker & Violet Dreyer promptly meet at ringside and start trading fists! I honestly don't see how it could've gone any other way.

    In the West corner, the mysterious FaZe backs Billy Wright up to the turnbuckles, delivering fast-paced blows to the chest and gut! He aims one at the face, but Wright blocks it, and kicks him away! Not to be deterred, FaZE runs right back in with a knee to the gut and an open-palm chop to the chest! He aims for another punch to the face, only for Wright to push him away again!

    "HEY!" Billy Wright shouts. "NOT THE FACE!"

    A chant begins to erupt through the front row - 'WRIGHT IS PRETTY, WRIGHT IS PRETTY' - by a very dedicated group, which starts to slowly spread, much to Billy Wright's delight.

    Tim Coleman: "I don't get it. This guy's butt ugly. FaZe punching him in the mouth might actually improve his image."

    Jim Taylor: "Sometimes ugly can be beautiful."

    Tim Coleman: "Is this one of those times?"

    Jim Taylor: "I... can't answer that."


    FaZe takes this chant for all of two seconds, and Billy Wright surprised him with a thumb to the eye and a jawbreaker! Wright blows kisses to his adoring fans, but his momentary action allows FaZe to promptly headbutt him in the chest and just start raining blows upon him. The chanting soon breaks into duelling chants - 'WRITE IS PRETTY' vs 'PRETTY DEAD.' However much to Wright's own request, FaZe targets exclusively the chest and stomach of the flamboyant brit, playing nice for now as bruises being to rapidly form on Wright's midsection.

    Close by, 'Lightning' Lamont Banner shadowboxes, attempting intimidation tactics on 'The Trance Queen' Luna Piper, who is just sort of... vibing. Cocky and confident, Banner smirks, before throwing a jab - one that Piper doesn't so much as duck, but lean enough for it to juuust miss her, without stopping the vibes. Banner scoffs, leaning his chin in and offering Piper a free punch. Piper shrugs, and instead grasps Banner in a headlock, transitions into a rear waist lock, trips Banner with an outstretched leg, then locks in a rear chinlock, all in the space of three seconds. Banner flails ineffectively, and Piper casually flicks her finger against his chin in her own mock jab.

    Jim Taylor: "There's a lot going on, Tim, and I've got to wonder - who's going to be the first elimination, and who's going to be the one to score it. I have to imagine that the person who gets that first elimination instantly starts riding a wave of momentum."

    Tim Coleman: "You're spot on, Jim. Infact I'd argue that the person who scores the first elimination is all-but guaranteed to score the last one and win the whole thing."


    Luna Piper eventually releases Lamont Banner of her own accord, and furious, Banner rolls under the ropes, regrouping with his entourage. Taking a brief refresher between 'rounds,' Banner chugs on a bottle of water, glaring at Piper while she vibes away. He climbs back onto the apron, into the ring, and takes up a boxing stance. Banner suddenly darts forward with a left hoof - but Piper sidessteps it, grabbing Banner's outstretched arm, and uses his own momentum against him to throw him over the ropes!

    Jim Taylor: "Lamont Banner is our first elimination, courtsey of Luna Piper! Thank god!"

    Tim Coleman: "But hold it! Not so fast, Jim! Banner's entourage!"


    Indeed! Lamont Banner lands in the hands of his entourage, who keep him on their shoulders and safe from elimination before depositing him back onto the apron! Luna Piper is none the wiser, stepping up to the duelling Shaun PRimax & Devour the Suffering! As Piper dropkicks Shaun Primax, staggering him, Banner climbs through the ropes, winding a fist up for a killer KNOCKOUT PUNCH! He launches the lethal weapon! Luna Piper sees it at the very last second, ducking out of the way, but Devour the Suffering isn't so lucky, and takes the KNOCKOUT PUNCH right to the jaw!

    Tim Coleman: "There's that K.O punch we mentioned! Devour has been knocked the hell out!"

    Instantly limp, Devour the Suffering is saved from falling flat on his face by Shaun Primax, who grabs Devour's dead weight and dumps his lifeless body over the ropes! He hits the floor below, unmoving!

    ELIMINATION #1 - Devour the Suffering
    Eliminated by Shaun Primax (I)


    "OH, YOU THOUGHT I WAS PLAYING?!?" Lamont Banner boasts, to Luna Piper/Devour the Suffering/anyone who will listen. "I AIN'T PLAYING! Y'ALL GOT THE CONTROLLER BUT YOU AIN'T GOT NO BATTERIES! Y'ALL JUST GOT STRUCK BY LIGHTNING! BAM!"

    Jim Taylor: "Do we have a mute function for Lamont?"

    Tim Coleman: "Sadly, no."


    Lamont Banner turns, ready to knock out the next person - and is met, face-to-nipple, with the mythical giant, the Abominable Snowman! And he is NOT HAPPY. Banner has about one second to shriek, before Abominable Snowman grasps Banner by the neck, lifts him up and hurls him clear over the ropes!

    Jim Taylor: "Lamont Banner, eliminated at the hands of-"

    Tim Coleman: "Not quite, Jim! The entourage!"

    Jim Taylor: "Godamnit."


    Indeed! The entourage of groupies and coaches catch Lamont Banner juuuust before he hits the ground!

    Meanwhile, Billy Wright surprises FaZe with a neckbreaker, finally getting some freedom. He fiddles with something in his trunks, before unveiling a bottle of perfume spray! When FaZe climbs back to his feet, Wright sprays him right in the eyes! Blinded, Faze thrashes about! Wright pats himself on the back, winching as he accidently slaps one of his bruises. Mikey Williams comes up from behind, whips Wright around - and also gets a puff of perfume to the face! That shit stings the eyes! With Williams temporarily blinded, Wright dances a quick tango with his body, before nailing a stiff as fuck clothesline! It's Swing Time!

    Jim Taylor: "I know DQs are pretty lax in battle royals, but-"

    Tim Coleman: "There's nothing in the rulebook about not spraying perfume in your opponent's eyes."

    Jim Taylor: "Although there obviously should be."


    Billy Wright blows a kiss to the fans in the audience - particularly the very dedicated front row fan determined to get 'WRIGHT IS PRETTY' tending. He turns to the next person, immediately spraying Luna Piper with perfume! She recoils, and Wright uses the moment to blindside her with The Wright Thing! He turns to the next person, readying the spray bottle - but suddenly THE POWER slinks in, ripping it out of his grasp! Shocked and offended, Wright demands it back as THE POWER curiously inspect it, as if it may be a rare elixir or potion. She twists the cap off, and chugs the bottle of perfume down!

    Jim Taylor: "I don't know wether to be impressed or disgusted at that."

    Tim Coleman: "It can be both."


    She belches, nodding her head in a 'not bad' manner, before wandering away to kick at KAOTIK, leaving a stunned Billy Wright behind her. That is to say, a stunned Billy Wright, and a massive Abominable Snowman right behind him too. Feeling the presence behind him, Wright comically gulps, and sloooowly turns around... Right into a HIGH-FIVE! A high-five right to the face.

    Tim Coleman: "NOT THE FACE! Quick, how do you say 'not the face' in whatever language Snowman speaks?"

    Jim Taylor: "I believe you just sort of... bellow gutturally for five to six seconds.'"

    Tim Coleman: "Cool, thanks. URRRRRRAAAAUGH-"

    Jim Taylor: "From your gut, Tim, make it deeper."

    Tim Coleman: "I can only go so deep, Jim."


    With Billy Wright completely broken from getting his face lightly slapped into his skull, Abominable Snowman throws him over the ropes, where he lands on the floor next to Lamont Banner's entourage, Banner himself pointing and laughing.

    ELIMINATION #2 - Billy Wright
    Eliminated by The Abominable Snowman (I)


    As the entourage deposits Lamont Banner back on the apron once again, it seems as though people have finally noticed that Banner's got some outside help. Indeed, as Banner confidently climbs back into the ring, no less than half the field is glaring at him either openly or out the corner of their eye. Banner puts up his fists, shadowboxing, daring for someone to step forward - then shits himself when like a dozen people step forward at once. He turns his tail and tries to flee, only for Kara Stacey to grab him by the shoulder, whip him around, and nail a quick back body drop! Lamont Banner scrambles to his feet, and RetroJethro1984 catches him with a BODY SLAM! Banner crawls to a corner, begging for mercy - unfortunately for him that corner is presently occupied by Juan Tothrefor and Sirviente, who briefly pause their chapter in Lucha Libre rivalries to team together and kick him in the chest! Both luchadores step back, before Sirviente launches himself with a running dropkick directly to Banner's face! He rolls back, getting on all fours and motioning to Juan Tothrefor. Tothrefor takes the hint, and takes a running leap off of Sirviente's back, nailing Banner with a cannonball!

    Jim Taylor: "It's nice to see someone like Lamont Banner get his ass kicked by the same people he spat down on, Tim. I'm enjoying this very much."

    Tim Coleman: "Me too, Jim. Me too."


    You know who isn't enjoying this, though? Lamont Banner, because someone just pushed themselves to the front of the 'Get Our Shit In On Lamont Banner' party. A certain someone in a lime-green mankini, currently slapping their thighs in a way that is kinda intimidating. Ratin Mikichin. With Banner defenceless, Mikichin takes a running start, and lands the dreaded bronco buster! Oh no! I hope Banner had his mouth closed, otherwise he just got intimately teabagged. Mikichin finally gets off, and Banner rolls away, coughing and spluttering. The remaining wrestles encircle Banner, and as one, lift him up on their shoulders! They aim him towards the outside! But Banner's entourage are ready and waiting to catch their guy - at least until Trevor Walker tackles down two of them on the outside, with Violet Dreyer sprinting over him to catch another two with a cross body! The entourage crumbles, and with no-one there to catch him, Lamont Banner is sent to the outside!

    ELIMINATION #3 - Lamont Banner
    Eliminated by Everyone (I)


    Everyone cheers. For a brief moment, rivalries have been settled. Petty feuds have been put on hold. The walls have crumbled, revealing that the solider on the other side isn't that different from you or me. For one shining, beautiful second, it's happily quiet.

    Jim Taylor: "This... This is a better moment. Forget Lamont Banner getting what's coming to him - This is unity. This moment of togetherness, of people from all across the world sharing a same interest. We all love it a different way, but we love it all the same."

    Then Keegan Role screams for Reagan Cole's attention, and hits Kung Fu Karl with a running knee lift as we rapidly descend back into the 'every man for themselves' brawl.

    Tim Coleman: "You alright, Jim? You kinda had a moment there."

    Jim Taylor: "I don't want to talk about it."


    During the scuffle, RetroJethro1984 marches up to Meg, and shoves an invoice at her. Meg takes it dispassionately. She glances at it, mildly surprised at the receipt bearing her own name. Apparently she loaned Wild Wild West, that Will Smith movie that stared cowboys and for some reason a giant metal spider when she was a mere child, and never returned it. The late fees were - oh boy that's a lot of late fees. RetroJethro1984 stomps his foot impotently, demanding she pay her late fee or throw the match.

    Jim Taylor: "That's a very big ultimatum - pay the bill or throw the match. Good thing we don't have any outstanding late fees from blockbuster, right Tim?"

    Tim Coleman: "Ha! No, of course not! But if Jethro asks, I'm not Tim Coleman and I didn't borrow The Great Mouse Detective on VHS back in 1991."


    RetroJethro1984 continues to demand an answer, and Meg... she doesn't really throw the invoice at him, because that would require effort, but she doesn't just drop it either. It just sort of... gently floats towards RetroJethro1984, before landing on his foot. Screaming, RetroJethro1984 throws himself at Meg, who nimbly ducks out of the way. RetroJethro1984 bounces into the ropes, and Meg clocks him with the Mega Meg! RetroJethro1984 sails over the ropes, to the outside!

    ELIMINATION #4 - RetroJethro1984
    Eliminated by Meg (I)


    Tim Coleman: "I don't think I've ever seen someone react to the threat of financial ruin with a blunt shrug."

    Jim Taylor: "Perhaps Meg is one of those secret billionaires that can probably afford to pay everyone's invoices without losing even 10% of their wealth."

    Tim Coleman: "I doubt it, Jim. Honestly, sh-oh cripes Jethro's coming, protect me Jim."


    Indeed! Despite elimination, RetroJethro1984 refuses to be escorted out, barrelling to commentary with an invoice in hand. Screeching, he brandishes it in Tim Coleman's face. "THE GREAT MOUSE DETECTIVE!" RetroJethro shrieks. "THIRTY YEARS WORTH OF LATE FEES!"

    Tim Coleman: "I don't know what you're talking about! That's not me! I don't watch kids movies!"

    Jim Taylor: "Great Mouse Detective is a fine movie, though, Ti-"

    Tim Coleman: "WHO'S TIM? MY NAME IS BASIL BAKER."

    Jim Taylor: "... It's a good movie, Basil."

    "Basil Baker:" "YES I AGREE, GOOD THING I DON'T OWE ANY OUTSTANDING FEES FOR IT'S LOAN, THOUGH."

    RetroJethro1984 is sadly prevented from pointing out obvious by a duo of security guards, who tackle him to the floor and drag him away, protesting all the while. They pass Violet Dreyer and Trevor Walker, still locked in their eternal shitbag battle outside the ring, until Walker whips Dreyer onto the apron, only for Dreyer to slide around and catch Walker with a knee to the dome! Dreyer cackles in victory, turning to the ring - only to get a faceful of Abominable Snowman, who with one hand, throws her from the outside ring apron to halfway across the ring, shrieking all the while. Trevor Walker laughs, until Abominable Snowman reaches down with his massive mitts, grabs him by the hair, and yanks him over the ropes, into the ring.

    Jim Taylor: "I don't speak Abominable Snowman, but I think he said something like 'get your butts in the ring ya jerks.' Or something to a similar effect."

    Meanwhile, Ratin Mikichin adjusts his mankini - gotta fix that wedgie - and accosts Fiyero Lermontov! Lermontov turns, looks at his ex-partner, visibly grimaces, then turns away, resuming his beatdown on Luna Piper. Lermontov lifts sets up Piper for the Soviet Strike, only for Mikichin to sabotage it, pushing Piper out of the way.

    "LERMONTOV!" Ratin Mikichin shouts. "THE TIME FOR PUNISHMENT HAS COME!"

    Fiyero Lermontov pointedly ignores the challenge, moving on to kick at Kara Stacey.

    "REAGGE REAGGE SPACE WILL BE AVENGED! YOU ARE CHALLENGED TRADITIONAL GRECO-KAZAKHSTAN GRAPPLING!"

    Fiyero Lermontov grimaces, turning back to Ratin Mikichin - only to recoil in horror! Much like how singlet-wearing wrestlers will take down one or two shoulder straps to signify serious business, Mikichin has slung one of the straps of his mankini off his shoulder! As Lermontov begins to plead for him not to, Mikichin grasps the other shoulder strap!

    Tim Coleman: "I'm pretty sure this'll get us kicked off the air. Someone ready the censor bar."

    But Fiyero Lermontov intervenes! He grabs Ratin Mikichin's arm, the only thing preventing his remaining mankini strap - and the rest of his mankini - from falling to the mat! Lermontov overpowers Mikichin, shoving the strap back onto his shoulder, only for Mikichin to stun him with the Ratin Mi-Kitchen Sink! Lermontov goes down, letting go of the strap! Mikichin poses, gravity starting to work it's magic on the mankini - only for Dick Washer to dive-tackle him to the mat!

    "THIS ISN'T A NUDE BEACH, YOU HORNDOG!" Dick Washer screams, brandishing a pair of handcuffs. "IF I SEE ANY MORE SKIN FROM YOU I'M PUTTING YOU IN THE CLINK! GOT IT, PUNK?!?"

    For added effect, Dick Washer whacks Ratin Mikichin in the nethers with the nightstick.

    Jim Taylor: "Now that's just unnecessary."

    Spotting a potential illegal immigrant, Dick Washer leaves Ratin Mikichin to curl up in fetal position. Spotting a defenseless opponent, Kasey Connor swoops in, dragging him to his feet and throwing him at the ropes! She does a quick one-person pose, paying tribute to her brothers The Echo, before nailing Mikichin with a superkick, sending him careening over the ropes and out of the ring!

    Tim Coleman: "There goes Ratin! Though he might've left a souvenir behind."

    ELIMINATION #5 - Ratin Mikichin
    Eliminated by Kasey Connor (I)


    The mankini gets tangled in the ropes as Ratin Mikichin hits the floor, like the world's most offputting tribute to a man with zero boundaries. A brawling Kara Stacey and KAOTIK wander over, where Stacey accidently brushes the fabric, instantly recoiling in disgust. She throws the mankini down at Ratin Mikichin with a grossed-out shout, but the opening is enough for crack technician KAOTIK To leap onto her and lock in an octopus stretch!

    ELIMINATION #5.5 - Ratin Mikichin's Mankini
    Eliminated by Kara Stacey (I)


    Jim Taylor: "For the love of god don't cut to camera five until Ratin Mikichin has his mankini back on."

    Meanwhile, Juan Tothrefor nails Dick Washer with an arm drag! Dick Washer rolls back to his feet, only to be caught with another! Tothrefor springs off the ropes with a cross body, but is snatched out of the air with a Black Hole Slam! Washer drags Tothrefor up, lifts him in a powerslam, and looks to throw him out of the ring - only for Sirviente, of all people, to trip him with a dropkick to the knee! Washer drops Tothrefor, and Sirviente nails Washer with a trio of spinning heel kicks, before leaping off of Tothrefor with a shooting star press onto Washer!

    Jim Taylor: "Sirviente is really starting to break out on his own here."

    Tim Coleman: "It's a bit of a shame he just can't get out from under the shadow of his employer."


    Indeed. There's a very noticeable 'WE WANT MULTIMILLIONAIRO' chant, much to Sirviente's disappointment. Juan Tothrefor, having risen to his feet, shoots Sirviente a brief glance of pity. Dick Washer slowly rises to his feet too, and Tothrefor claps him in the chest with an open palm to a very noticeable cheer! Sirviente slaps Washer too, to silence. Tothrefor kicks Washer in the gut, to a huge pop! Sirviente kicks Washer in the gut to apathy. Tothrefor does a springboard handstand high kick, catching Washer in the face to a MONSTER pop! Sirviente does the same, adding an extra flip to his, knocking Washer down... And the only thing he gets is one fan shouting 'YOU'RE NOT MULTIMILLIONAIRO.' Sirviente turns his attention to Juan Tothrefor, and promptly strikes him in the face! The middling silence turn into outright boos! Sirviente grasps Tothrefor by the mask, and tosses him over the ropes! "I AM NOT MULTILILLIONAIRO!" Sirviente shouts, jabbing himself in the chest. "I AM SIRVIENTE!" Unbeknownst to Sirviente, Juan Tothrefor has hung on, and as Sirviente turns, Tothrefor leaps with a hurricurana, sending Sirviente careening over the ropes, down to the floor!

    ELIMINATION #6 - Sirviente
    Eliminated by Juan Tothrefor (I)


    Jim Taylor: "I do feel for Sirviente. Being openly told he's not what anyone wants all night, unable to get out of the shadow of his employer, then it's contrasted with Juan Tothrefor, who everyone unanimously loves. A part of me hopes he'll break out on day."

    Meg pops a glob of bubble gum into her mouth, chewing carelessly.

    Elsewhere, FaZe squares off with Shaun Primax, two hard-hitters duking it out. Trading lefts and rights, Primax momentarily gets the better, nailing FaZe with a vicious forearm, sending FaZe towards the ropes... only for Faze to bounce back with The Blade, nearly cutting Primax in half! Meg casually walks behind them in the background.

    Trevor Walker corners Luna Piper, spouting something about the 'youth of today' before lifting her in a suplex, then dumping her gut-first across the ropes! He swings a wild hook, looking to shove Piper off into elimination, but Piper deftly avoids it. Walker swings another fist, and Piper slithers out of harm's way again. Walker gets a run up, charging with a lariat, only for Piper to leap onto the top rope! Walker stops himself halfway through the second ropes, and Piper drops down with a double stomp to the lower back, rolling back inside the ring, while Walker exits through the second ropes, kicking the steps in frustration, yet to be eliminated. Meg casually walks behind them in the background.

    Tank Aikae finds himself squaring off with Keegan Role, and after falling him with a thunderous trio of clubbing blows to the back, Aikae looks around to find his usual target. As he spots Violet Dreyer hiding in a corner, he shouts in triumph, and starts to charge - only for Keegan Role to surprise him with a Kickstart! Role immediately locks in the Fire of Role! As Tank Aikae tries in vain to shake Role off, Violet Dreyer saunters over, laughing and pointing in his face. This dumb villain approach gives Aikae the extra strength to lunge at Dreyer, who promptly flees, throwing a surprised Jimmy Boom Boom in his face. Meg casually walks behind them in the background, nonchalantly tripping over Dreyer.

    Tim Coleman: "I wonder what Meg is thinking. Surely she must have some sort of diabolical plan and is just waiting for the right moment, right?"

    Jim Taylor: "I honestly have no idea, Tim. Her face is a perfect mask of nothing. She must be terrific at poker."


    Meg's aimless walk halts as she bumps into none other than The Abominable Snowman! Currently presently halfway through crushing Kung Fu Karl with the dreaded ICE HUG, Abominable Snowman feels the presence of MEG behind him, and slowly turns. Meg's jaw drops open, and the gum slides out of her mouth, where it lands on Abominable Snowman's shoe.

    Tim Coleman: "Now that's just gross."

    Dropping Kung Fu Karl, Abominable Snowman inspects the gum on his shoe - but alas! It's so far out of his reach! So instead he roars in disgust, and swipes at Meg - who takes a step back out of the way. He swipes again - same deal. Abominable Snowman throws a wild lariat at Meg, currently against the ropes - and she ducks under it. Now with Abominable Snowman up against the ropes, Meg nails a Meg Dropkick! And another! And another! The trio of moves stun the giant, and Meg goes for a forth - only for Abominable Snowman to catch her by the legs in midair, and pivot her momentum over the ropes, to the outside!

    Elimination #7 - Meg
    Eliminated by The Abominable Snowman (II)


    Jim Taylor: "Blame the gum, I suppose."

    Abominable Snowman, with one hand on the top rope for balance, tries to stretch a limb down to pluck the gum off his shoe, lifting his foot at the same time. He flicks it to the mat in success. Suddenly, Kara Stacey speeds in, and nails him with a lariat! He tilts over the ropes, neeeearly falling out, but rebalances himself just before Stacey can push him again. He shoves her off, climbing back into the ring and charging as fast as he can - and Kara Stacey catches him with a fallaway slam! Planting the biggest man dead center of the ring!

    Jim Taylor: "Kara Stacey knocks the big man off his feet!"

    Before Kara Stacey can capitalize, she's rolled up by KAOTIK, who seizes her with an Ice Pick Ankle Lock! Screaming, he wrenches on Stacey's limb, twisting and jerking at it as Stacey tries in vain to shake him off! She grabs the ropes, but there's no rope break?!? She's not grabbing the ropes - she's grabbing Meg's discadred gum! She snatches it and shoves it in KAOTIK's mouth! He recoils in disgust, swearing up a storm, while Stacey tries to lift herself to her feet with the ropes, winching on a bad ankle.

    Tim Coleman: "That might be a gamechanger for Kara Stacey, something that'll definitely hurt her performance here tonight, at least in terms with her power game."

    As KAOTIK spits the gum to the outside, grimacing, he turns - and is met with a risen Abominable Snowman, who slaps him down with a high-five! He turns to Kara Stacey, frowning, and raises his hand for another high-five - but he's intercepted by THE POWER! THE POWER speeds in, and nails Abominable Snowman with a massive lariat! Abominable Snowman tilts, but doesn't even go near enough off balance. He pie-faces her away, but Kara Stacey strikes over THE POWER's shoulder with a massive big boot to the chest! It's with her bum ankle, so it's not quite as powerful as it could be, but it's enough to stun The Abominable Snowman! THE POWER grasps his mammoth wrist, and drags him into a fireman's carry, onto her shoulders!

    Tim Coleman: "WHAT"

    She staggers to the ropes, and dumps Abominable Snowman over them, to the outside!

    ELIMINATION #8 - The Abominable Snowman
    Eliminated by THE POWER (I)


    Jim Taylor: "How on earth did she even do that?!?"

    Tim Coleman: "That's more than two hundred pounds of size difference, and I don't think THE POWER even broke a sweat!"


    THE POWER screams a victory screech. Someone's car windows spontaneously shatter.

    Meanwhile, Tank Aikae has finally shaken Keegan Role off of his foot, and corners Violet Dreyer! She begs him off, backing into a turnbuckle, before suddenly throwing a fist - a fist with a pair of brass knuckles wrapped around it! Oh no! But Tank Aikae catches the fist just before impact, and observes the brass knuckles the way you'd observe popcorn in a microwave. He laughs, ripping the knuckles out of Dreyer's hand and throwing them over the ropes, before headbutting Dreyer right in the mouth! Dazed, Dreyer offers no defence as Aikae lifts her up for the Tank Driver - but Kasey Connor comes in from behind with a kick to the groin! And another! A third weakens Aikae's defences, and he drops Dreyer, who promptly jabs him in the eye, then the other eye! Blinded and his groin aching, Aikae throws a wild punch, one that Dreyer ducks, and after sharing a brief glance, Violet Dreyer & Kasey Connor team up to drop Tank Aikae with a double suplex!

    Jim Taylor: "The two most conniving wrestlers in the ring teaming together to take down a big threat - but I have to ask, how long can that last?"

    Tim Coleman: "There's an old saying - Never trust a Connor."

    Jim Taylor: "Don't trust a Dreyer, too. That's also a saying. Who will be the first to break this?"


    Violet Dreyer & Kasey Connor seem to nod at each other, as they drag Tank Aikae to his knees. Dreyer holds him in place, and after loudly telling Aikae to 'SUCK MY DICK', Kasey Connor blasts him with a Echo-trademarked Superkick! Stunned, Aikae can't muster up a defence for Dreyer to put him down with the Violet Hill! Kasey Connor & Violet Dreyer high-five! They both turn around at the same time...

    Then they both suddenly whip back, just about to strike at the other with a fist, catching them unaware, only stopping when they see the other had the exact same plan.

    Tim Cloleman: "What's the saying about great minds?"

    Kasey Connor & Violet Dreyer pause themselves, halfway through betraying the other, before they awkwardly laugh it off. When suddenly Mikey Williams catches Violet Dreyer with a fantastic tornado DDT! Seriously, it's such a cool tornado DDT. Like, twice the rotations. Kasey Connor tries to catch him unawares with a feint enziguri, but Williams smoothly moves out of the way, and throws a superkick of his own! The lethal weapon narrowly misses Connor, who tries for a jumping knee strike, but Williams avoids it - only to get blasted in the face with a thrown toolbox?!?

    Jim Taylor: "Where did that come from?!?"

    Tim Coleman: "Trevor Walker threw it in from outside the ring!"


    Indeed! Trevor Walker climbs onto the apron, pointing and gesturing at Mikey Williams, more specifically his feet. Getting the hint, Kasey Connor kneels, tugging at the pants leg of Williams, rolling it up, exposing flesh. Except when she taps the shin, it's metal! Trevor Walker reacts in mock surprise, before pointing at the toolbox.

    Jim Taylor: "I don't know why he's surprised, it's very common knowledge that Mikey Williams has two prosthetic feet. I don't understand wh-"

    Rummaging within the toolbox, Kasey Connor unveils a screwdriver!

    Tim Coleman: "I might understand."

    Telling a groggy Violet Dreyer to "Keep this jackoff in a headlock for a second," Kasey Connor feels around for the screwpoints in the artificial foot, and starts to unscrew the metal limb from William's body! On the apron, Trevor Walker laughs.

    Jim Taylor: "I question the moral boundary of this action."

    Tim Coleman: "I mean - if Mikey Williams wants to be able to use his prosthetic feet, others should be able to remove them, right?"

    Jim Taylor: "I don't-"


    With a few turns of the screw and a loud 'pop', Mikey Williams' prosthetic right foot comes off! Kasey Connor cheers in victory, as Williams tries to free himself! But Violet Dreyer had that headlock in somewhat tight, and he's helpless as Connor starts on the left foot...

    Suddenly, Violet Dreyer is yanked in the air, at the hands of Tank Aikae! He throws her across the ring, stomping after her, eager to enact another chapter in the longstanding Aikae/Dreyer rivalry. Meanwhile, without Dreyer's headlock, Mikey Williams is free to finally push Kasey Connor away before she can detach his other foot, and quickly climbs to his feet. Or, uh, foot.

    Jim Taylor: "Boy, does Mikey Williams not look happy."

    Tim Coleman: "Are you expecting him to look happy? I'm not."


    Kasey Connor taunts Mikey Williams, juggling the stolen prosthetic foot in her hands, as Williams hops. He reaches for his foot, but Connor dangles it juuuust out of his reach - but suddenly Williams launches a giant Cybernetic Kick with his remaining foot, catching Connor square in the face! Dropping the detached foot, she spirals into the ropes, and Williams hits a second! This one sends Kasey Connor tumbling over the ropes, to the floor!

    ELIMINATION #9 - Kasey Connor
    Eliminated by Mikey Williams (I)


    Tim Coleman: "With one foot! Two kicks of solid steel to Kasey Connor's face! And Kasey Connor is out!"

    Jim Taylor: "She might be out of the ring AND out of her lights. Someone might have to check on her."


    Mikey Williams bends to pick up his detached foot - only for Trevor Walker to run in from behind, throwing Williams over the ropes too! Williams scrambles for a grip, but Walker knocks his hands loose! He hits the floor!

    ELIMINATION #10 - Mikey Williams
    Eliminated by Trevor Walker (I)


    Jim Taylor: "It was all a play by Trevor Walker to get Mikey Williams out! He let Kasey Connor take the spotlight, then swooped in when Williams was distracted! What a piece of sh-"

    Tim Coleman: "Language, Jim! That's underhanded, but I don't see anything wrong with it."


    Trevor Walker showboats, very pleased with himself, and mockingly pats himself on the back as he is showered with boos. He turns in time to be blasted with a running big boot by FaZe! He tumbles over the ropes, but manages to hang on before climbing onto the apron! FaZe strikes with a lariat, but Walker ducks it, and drags FaZe over the ropes, joining him on the apron outside! The two trade strikes, standing on the apron, close to elimination, before Walker stuns FaZe with a dirty, dirty low blow!

    Tim Coleman: "Trevor Walker striking low, but it's all legal in this match!"

    Trevor Walker puts FaZe in position for a piledriver! A piledriver on the apron! He nearly pulls it off too, but FaZe grips the bottom rope enough to unseat Walker's momentum, and squirms out of it. Walker elects to just try and shove him off the apron, but FaZe grips Walker's arm and pulls him onto a sickening headbutt! Trevor Walker is seeing stars! FaZe spits on the floor, before putting Walker in position for the Fazer! The FaZer on the ring apron! Walker struggles, but fails to break out of it, and FaZE SLAMS Walker hard, spine and neck first on the apron! Walker slumps, limp, before Faze boots his body down to the floor below.

    ELIMINATION #11 - Trevor Walker
    Eliminated by FaZe (I)


    Jim Taylor: "Karma is a size 10 boot addressed to Trevor Walker's name on it, and it belongs to FaZe!"


    As he climbs back into the ring, FaZe is quickly ambushed by KAOTIK, who comes up from behind with a rear naked choke! FaZe struggles, but KAOTIK locks the legs in! FaZe tries to ram KAOTIK against the turnbuckles, but KAOTIK is agile enough to let go in time and jump into the ropes, before springboarding off with a knee to the skull! FaZe goes down!

    Meanwhile, Violet Dreyer backs up into Tank Aikae, and there's no fun showboating this time, Aikae just starts pummelling her senseless, with chops, headbutts, and elbows! Dreyer stumbles, desperate to get the hell away from the Samoan Slaughterhouse hell-bent on ruining her day. She ducks under a lariat, springing off the ropes with the Dastardly Dreyer Discourse!

    Tim Coleman: "Dastardly Dreyer Discourse! What a game changer if she can hi-"

    Tank Aikae takes one step to the left and Violet Dreyer just splats onto the mat, missing the attack completely.

    Tim Coleman: "Welp. So much for that."

    Scrambling, backing away from Tank Aikae, Violet Dreyer's hands wrap around an unconventional weapon - Mikey Williams' detached prosthetic foot, laying forgotten on the mat! She swings it into Tank Aikae's gut, doubling over the big man!

    Jim Taylor: "Tim, a thought just occurred to me."

    Tim Coleman: "Go on."

    Jim Taylor: "For someone to be eliminated, both their feet must touch the floor."

    Tim Coleman: "Yeah, so?"

    Jim Taylor: "Does that mean that Mikey Williams is technically still in this, since his detached prosthetic foot hasn't hit the ground yet?"

    Tim Coleman: "... Huh."


    At that very moment, Mikey Williams comes sprinting - as much as one can sprint with only one foot - down the aisle, running towards the ring! It seems he's reached this conclusion at the same time the commentary team did! Back in the ring, Violet Dreyer tries to strike Tank Aikae again with Mikey Williams' prosthetic, but Tank Aikae blocks it, ragdolling Dreyer over his shoulders! Dreyer rolls to her feet as Williams reaches the apron, and Dreyer just fucking HURLS the prosthetic foot as hard as she can at Aikae! Aikae ducks, and Mikey Williams watches in dejection as his prosthetic foot sails over the ropes, missing several audience members, and landing in the shallow tides of the beach.

    ELIMINATION #11 (Retroactively making Trevor Walker the 10th elimination) - Mikey Williams
    Eliminated by Trevor Walker (entire body minus right foot) (I) & Violet Dreyer (right foot) (I)


    Jim Taylor: "I guess now it's official. Sorry Mikey."

    Tim Coleman: "He'd better go retrieve his foot quickly, I think the tide's coming in."


    For a brief moment, the longlasting war between the Dreyer Family and the Aikae Clan came to a ceasefire, as Violet Dreyer & Tank Aikae pause, watching a prosthetic foot slowly being dragged away by the tide of the ocean while a handsome onelegged man hopped after it, swearing desperately at the sea, backdropped by a slowly lowering sunset. The scene was oddly poetic, breathtaking even.

    Tim Coleman: "What a picturesque moment, Jim."

    Jim Taylor: "Who knew that the one thing that could temporarily stop a war would be Mikey Williams hopping after his foot at the beach?"


    Suddenly, Shaun Primax catches Luna Piper with a lariat, hurling her over the ropes! But she hands on, only for Primax to catch her with a ferocious forearm! Piper slumps, falling to the floor.

    Tim Coleman: "Is that our next elimination?"

    No! Luna Piper she has the presence of mind to wrap her legs around the bottom rope, hitting the floor with her upper back in a way that looks super painful, but keeps her in! Primax is none the wiser, immediately moving on to punch Kara Stacey, who punches him right back. Stacey elbows Primax away as Piper crawls back into the ring, and nails him with a dropkick!

    Sadly, the dropkick breaks the Dreyer/Aikar moment of peace of watching Mikey Williams swear at the beach. Jerked out of the gaze, Violet Dreyer uses the brief moment of attention lapse to go for the Violet Hill, but Tank Aikae blocks it, throwing her off, and damn near takes her head off with a savant thrust kick! With Dreyer stunned, Aikae grabs her by the massive mohawk, and throws her over the ropes! But Dreyer grabs onto the ropes at the very last moment! She drags herself back onto the apron, but Aikae is waiting, too clever by half to assume Dreyer dropped to the floor, and he throws a lariat! Dreyer catches it, before leaping off the bottom rope and wrapping her legs around the elbow! It's a hangman's armbar, Aikae inside the ring, Dreyer outside! With all of Dreyer's weight dragging Aikae over the ropes, Aikae tries to keep his weight centered and avoid elimination!

    Jim Taylor: "Looks like Violet Dreyer has adopted the mantra of 'if I go down, I'm taking you with me.'"

    Tim Coleman: "She's a Dreyer, Jim. That's always their plan B."

    Tank Aikae grunts, then roars, then in a massive show of strength lifts Violet Dreyer, currently in a death lock on his arm, from out on the apron, back into the ring! Dreyer is horrified by the strength, and in a panic, releases the hold in an attempt to get away, but Aikae hols on firm, and fucking demolishers her with a Tank Driver! Taking only the slightest of seconds to massage his arm, Aikae grabs Dreyer's prone body, and unceremoniously tosses her over the ropes. There's no last second save this time - Violet Dreyer slaps face first onto the floor, absolutely gone.

    ELIMINATION #12 - Violet Dreyer
    Eliminated by Tank Aikae (I)


    Jim Taylor: "Chalk up the victory to the Aikae Clan for this round, as per tradition."

    Tim Coleman: "All that over twenty dollars? Damn."


    As Tank Aikae reveals in victory, he's accosted by Dick Washer, who cracks him with a double-axe handle! He nails a headbutt, then instantly regrets it as Aikae no-sells it, because duh. Aikae grabs Washer by the back of the head, and throws him at the ropes - but Washer stops himself, and when Aikae charges, he catches the tank with a Black Hole Slam! Washer drags Aikae to his feet, aiming to throw him over the ropes, but Kara Stacey intercepts with a wicked forearm, dropping the law enforcement agent!

    Meanwhile, KAOTIK and Keegan Role, two with massive crackhead technician energy, seem to have formed a loose alliance against THE POWER, isolating her. KAOTIK locks in a double-armed chickenwing, keeping her arms trapped while Keegan slaps her with some... slaps. THE POWER struggles, but is unable to mount a defence, with both her arms trapped. As powerful as one can be, you need a bit of freedom to work that power. Role nails her with a dropkick to the chin. He then shouts something about Regan Cole. I'll be honest, I wasn't listening. KAOTIK and THE POWER weren't either. Someone who did hear, though, was FaZe, who swings in with a teeth-rattling elbow to the dome! Role goes down like a sack of bricks, and KAOTIK releases his hold on THE POWER to attack FaZe, only to get caught with a back body drop! KAOTIK is quick to get back to his feet, but FaZe grips him, and lifts him up for the FaZer!

    At the same time this is happening, Keegan Role tries to disrupt it, but THE POWER clocks him with a SuperPower Punch, before lifting him in a gorilla press!

    Meanwhile, Shaun Primax tangles with Juan Tothrefor! Tothrefor chops at his chest once, twice, three times, four! He grabs Primax's wrist, leaping onto the second rope for his lucha armdrag - only for Primax to sudenly strike at his foot, tipping Tothrefor's balance and causing him to crotch himself on the ropes! Ouch! With Tothrefor stunned, Primax climbs onto the turnbuckle next to him, before hoisting Tothrefor onto his shoulders?!?

    Jim Taylor: "Oh my lord, look at the scene! FaZe going for the FaZer on KAOTIK, THE POWER going for the POWER-!!!!! BOMB-!!! on Keegan Role, and Shaun Primax attempting the Bomb Drop on Juan Tothrefor?!?"

    Tim Coleman: "It's a symphony of powerbombs and modified powerbombs!"


    In unison, FaZe, THE POWER, and Shaun Primax all nail their respective powerbombs, shaking the foundations of the ring! What a sight! The three climb back to their feet, eyeing each other. Taking offense at the other's stealing his powerbomb thunder, Primax charges, dropping THE POWER with a big boot! FaZe immediately steps in, throwing wild fists! Meanwhile, Kara Stacey and Dick Washer do the same! The foursome end up in the middle of the ring, FaZe & Stacey back to back as Washer & Primax circle them, throwing fists!

    Meanwhile, Luna Piper stomps on the downed Keegan Role once, before absconding to the closest turnbuckle...

    Across the ring, Fiyero Lermontov does the same to Juan Tothrefor, stepping over his body to climb the nearby turnbuckle too...

    And Kung-Fu Karl keeps KAOTIK grounded, before urging Jimmy Boom Boom to climb up to the turnbuckle behind them...

    Jim Taylor: "We just saw three powerbombs at once, are we going to see an aerial variation?!?"

    Piper, Lermontov, & Boom Boom all seem to catch each others eyes at the same time, before they all shrug at the same time.

    Luna Piper leaps the Lunasault!

    Fiyero Lermontov twists in midair with the Red Star Press!

    Jimmy Boom Boom throws himself through the air with the Froggy Boom!

    All three connect with a BOOM!

    Tim Coleman: "And I thought this crowd was loud for the powerbombs - they're off their feet right now!"

    You can't go wrong with a good powerbomb, but you also can't go wrong with some lovely high-flying. As the three aerial artists recover, the fighting foursome of Kara Stacey, FaZe, Dick Washer, & Shaun Primax have broken the impasse - FaZe manages to disarm Washer with an elbow, while Primax cuts Stacey off with an uppercut. Now FaZe & Primax face off, Primax goes for the big boot, but FaZe ducks it, sprints to the ropes, ducks under another big boot, and cuts Shaun Primax in half with the Blade!

    Jim Taylor: "I don't think I've ever seem someone who can turn the tide of a match quite so easily as FaZe!"

    FaZe drags Primax to his feet, and throws him over the ropes! But Primax hangs on! FaZe goes to lariat him out - only for Fiyero Lermontov to swoop in from behind and throw FaZe at the ropes! Primax pulls the ropes down! FaZe goes tumbling out, unable to get a grip!

    ELIMINATION #13 - FaZe
    Eliminated by Fiyero Lermontov (I)


    Tim Coleman: "That's unfortunate - you need eyes in every direction, but as far as we know, FaZe only had two."

    Fiyero Lemrontov is suddenly rattled with a headbutt by Tank Aikae, dropping him to his knees! Aikae turns to Shaun Primax, and throws a wild left! Primax ducks it, and snaps Aikae with a left hook of his own! Aikae staggers, before Dick Washer swoops in and throws him over the ropes! But Aikae hangs on, landing on the apron beside Primax! As Washer attempts to follow up, he's caught with a POUNCE by THE POWER, sending him sprawling.

    Meanwhile, Tank Aikae & Shaun Primax struggle for supremacy on the apron. Two big men, teetering on the edge. Aikae stuns Primax with a headbutt, before lifting him up for Island Driver! But Primax slides off, pushing Aikae at the ring post, where he collides chest first! Taking advantage, Primax grasps Aikae in a powerbomb position, and hurls him spine-first against the ring post! Aikae crumbles to the floor!

    ELIMINATION #14 - Tank Aikae
    Eliminated by Shaun Primax (II)


    Jim Taylor: "Vicious landing for Tank Aikae! That's one way to put down a Samoan monster, crikey."

    Shaun Primax climbs back into the ring, staggering. Dick Washer intercepts THE POWER with a crack of the nightstick to the head, pushing the viking warrior away from him. He wipes the sweat from his brow, but is surprised by Jimmy Boom Boom launching himself at Dick Washer, locking in a sleeper hold on the big man! Meanwhile, Kung Fu Karl drills Washer's exposed sternum with rapid-fire fisticuffs!

    Tim Coleman: "I'm seeing a team with a lot of chemistry from Kung Fu Karl & Jimmy Boom Boom. What's a good name for them? Kung Fu Boom? Eh, we'll workshop it."

    Dick Washer pushes Kung Fu Karl away, before reaching behind him, gripping Jimmy Boom Boom by the jumpsuit, and throwing him off, breaking the sleeper hold. As Kung Fu Boom get to their feet, Washer levels the both of them with a double lariat! But suddenly Kara Stacey strikes with a massive knee lift, staggering Washer! She follows with a massive haymaker, sending Washer against the ropes! She charges forward with a big boot - only for Washer to catch her with a spinebuster! But it's enough for Kung Fu Boom to have regrouped, and charge at Washer with a tandem lariat! He tumbles over the ropes, but hands on to the top rope!

    Kung Fu Karl looks at Jimmy Boom Boom

    Jimmy Boom Boom looks at Kung Fu Karl.

    They both nod at the same time.

    Jim Taylor: "Great minds think alike?"

    Kung Fu Boom sprint to the opposite side of the ring, rebounding off the ropes as Dick Washer steadies himself on the apron. In unison, they leap in the air with a double Jumping Side Kick! Washer takes a boot to both sides of the face at the same time! He tumbles to the floor!

    ELIMATION #15 - Dick Washer
    Eliminated by Kung-Fu Karl & Jimmy Boom-Boom (I)


    Tim Coleman: "With that kung fu movie stunt, we've hit our final ten!"

    Kung Fu Boom high-five, before their attention falls in the persistent thorn in Kung Fu Karl's side, Fiyero Lermontov. Standing tall, Lermontov smirks at Kung Fu Boom, pie-facing the both of them - but Kung Fu Boom instantly strike back with renewed confidence, cutting Lermontov down with fast and loose strikes! Lermontov flails, throwing wild swings that miss! The fast frenzy is too much! He falls to his knees!

    Kung Fu Karl pulls Jimmy Boom Boom away, gesturing wildly. As Lermontov starts to get back to his feet, Kung Fu Karl signals for the crane kick, balancing on one leg as Lermontov rises to his feet, back to Karl. Kung Fu Karl waits for him to turn around... Waits a bit more.... Still waiting...

    Lermontov falls back to his knees, then rises back to his feet, groggy. Kung Fu Karl continues to hold the pose as long seconds tick agonizingly by. He starts to wobble on his leg.

    Jim Taylor: "Surely, Kung Fu Karl can't stand on one leg much longer."

    Tim Coleman: "At this point, why wouldn't Jimmy Boom Boom lift Lermontov up for Karl?"

    Jim Taylor: "I believe Karl wants Lermontov to walk into his own defeat by his own power. There's probably some kind of kung fu honorific about that."


    Jimmy Boom Boom claps his hands encouragingly. Kung Fu Karl admits he's starting to get a cramp. Fiyero Lermontov wobbles, nearly turns around... then starts to fall back down.

    Suddenly, methhead energy KAOTIK launches himself with an octopus stretch onto Jimmy Boom Boom! Torn between getting revenge on his heated enemy and saving his ally, Kung Fu Karl agonizes - before switching targets and taking KAOTIK's head off with the crane kick! It's not as effective due to the fatigue of standing on one leg for so long, but it's enough for KAOTIK to slink away. Hopping, Kung Fu Karl turns around - just in time to receive a Soviet Strike by Fiyero Lermontov?!?

    Jim Taylor: "That son of a bitch was playing possum!"

    Indeed! Lermontov is perfectly fine and dandy, grabbing Kung Fu Karl by his gi and- NO! Jimmy Boom Boom throws himself at Lermontov, saving his friend, and clatters Lermontov with a bicycle knee strike! Lermontov backs up to the ropes, and Jimmy Boom Boom rears up to strike, but KAOTIK swoops in again with the Keystone! Jimmy Boom Boom goes down! KAOTIK drags Jimmy Boom Boom to the ropes, lifting him up and over, down to the floor!

    ELIMINATION #16 - Jimmy Boom Boom
    Eliminated by KAOTIK (I)


    Meanwhile, Kung Fu Karl swings with another kick, but Fiyero Lermontov ducks it and nails a superkick of his own! He grips the dazed Kung Fu Karl by the hair, and throws him clean over the ropes, next to his fallen ally!

    ELIMINATION #17 - Kung Fu Karl
    Eliminated by Fiyero Lermontov (II)


    Tim Coleman: "There goes both members of Kung Fu Boom! We're down to eight!"

    Jim Taylor: "Keegan Role! Luna Piper! Juan Tothrefor! KAOTIK! Fiyero Lermontov! Shaun Primax! Kara Stacey! And THE POWER! Who will outlast the rest?!?"


    Fiyero Lermontov is quick to stay on offense, grabbing Luna Piper and trying to throw her out too! But Piper grabs onto the ropes, and-No! Lermontov cracks her with a Soviet Strike! Her grip slips, she lands on the floor-

    Tim Coleman: "That's it, Luna Piper is out!"

    Not quite! Luna Piper lands her feet on the back of Kung Fu Karl! Karl's spine does not equate to the floor, she's still in it! Fiyero Lermontov snarls, kicking the bottom rope in frustration, but Piper is out of his reach. He turns - and is crushed with a diving crossbody from Juan Tothrefor! As Luna Piper hops into the apron and sprawls back into the ring, Juan Tothrefor grips Fiyero Lermontov by the hair, and throws him over the ropes! Lermontov manages to snag the very bottom rope with his hands, saving himself from elimination! His legs flail mere millimeters from the floor! He tries to swing his weight to Kung Fu Karl, much like Luna Piper did before, but Karl rolls away! Tothrefor nails a basement dropkick to the mush, and Lermontov's grip releases, sending him to the floor!

    ELIMINATION #18 - Fiyero Lermontov
    Eliminated by Juan Tothrefor (II)


    Jim Taylor: "That's one of the big favourites gone from this match, courtesy of Juan Tothrefor!"

    Before he can celebrate, Juan Tothrefor is taken by surprise with a German suplex by Keegan Role! He keeps the hold locked in, dragging Tothrefor back to his feet to deliver another! Still locked in, he rises back to his feet, screaming to Reagan Cole - who I'm certain is feeling his ears burn - but he's clocked with a spinning backfist by THE POWER! Role slackes, but he still has his grip on Tothrefor, and THE POWER simply joins in, wrapping her arms around Role's waist and nailing a German suplex of her own on BOTH Keegan Role and Juan Tothrefor!

    Tim Coleman: "Pardon the pun, but what power by THE POWER! I don't know where she gets it from."

    While Keegan Role lets Juan Tothrefor go, THE POWER doesn't do the same for Role, and transitions into dragon suplex, nailing the Apprenticie's Apprentice right on his head! She STILL doesn't let up, dragging Role back up, and goes for an X-Plex - but KAOTIK swoops in with a lariat, saving Role from another horrible landing! KAOTIK lands a trio of forearm, before locking in a rolling armbar - only for THE POWER to rise to her feet, drag KAOTIK up by her arm, and powerbomb him to the mat!

    Jim Taylor: "I don't think there's any limit to THE POWER's power, Tim."

    Shaun Primax rolls in with a stiff chop right to the chest... before reeling in surprise pain?!? THE POWER completely no-sells it, before replying with a series of devastating chops of her own! Primax reels into a corner, gaining some separation with a well-timed knee-lift. THE POWER steps back, then steps back again as Keegan Role leaps onto her back in a rear naked choke! THE POWER thrashes, trying to throw Keegan Role off, resorting to reversing into a corner turnbuckle and slamming him back-first against it to break the hold...

    Only for Keegan Role to immediately transition into a hanging choke hold as he climbs onto the second rope, THE POWER's feet kicking inches off the mat as her own weight is being used against her!

    Tim Coleman: "That's ingenuis - Keegan Role choking THE POWER out in a hangman choke. He can't match her power for power, but if she can't breathe, the lights go out..."

    THE POWER struggles in desperation, resorting to swinging whatever fists she can at Keegan Role, but she's clearly fading, the strikes are becoming limper and limper...

    With the lights out and no-one home, THE POWER is defenceless as Keegan Role swings her over the top rope, releasing his hold and letting her clatter to the floor below.

    ELIMINATION #19 - THE POWER
    Eliminated by Keegan Role (I)


    Jim Taylor: "What a dark elimination. Can we get someone to check on THE POWER? Just to be safe?"

    As Keegan Role laughs in victory, a medic checks on THE POWER - who instantly bolts up, screaming. Keegan Role stops laughing. He might've shit himself. There's no time to check as Kara Stacey runs in and takes Keegan Role down with an overhead press! Still favouring her good ankle, Stacey is keen to keep that leg out of the submission technician's grasp, as she lays in a few punches on Role - but she overlooked KAOTIK, who slides in from behind with a chop block! The fevered KAOTIK lays in wild, unfocused strikes onto Stacey, lefts and rights and a few ups and downs too!

    Tim Coleman: "There's that wicked frenzy of KAOTIK. Some would say his entire approach is rather... chaotic. I just got that, Jim."

    Jim Taylor: "Just now? It's been like twenty minutes, Tim."

    Tim Coleman: "I don't think properly at beaches, Jim. Something in the air."


    KAOTIK is thrown off of Stacey by Juan Tothrefor, who takes him down with an armdrag! And another! He attempts a third, but KAOTIK reverses it into an armdrag of his own, sending Tothrefor into the turnbuckle! He follows it with some kicks to the midsection, before nailing him with a spike DDT! He absconds to the second rope, and leaps at Tothrefor-

    - Only for Kara Stacey to catch him in mid-air, saving Juan Tothrefor! She tosses him over the ropes, but KAOTIK hangs on to the top rope! Stacey throws a lariat, but KAOTIK blocks it! Stacey throws a roundhouse through the second rope, but KAOTIK leaps over! Stacey throws a forearm, KAOTIK blocks it again- but it's a fakeout, and Kara Stacey nails the Bulldoze Elbow! KAOTIK damn near backflips from the force, sending him down to the floor!

    ELIMINATION #20 - KAOTIK
    Eliminated by Kara Stacey (II)


    Jim Taylor: "What an elimination! ... Someone please check on KAOTIK, make sure he's still alive."

    Satisfied with herself, Kara Stacey turns, winching slightly at her bum ankle - when she's suddenly clobbered with a running big boot by Shaun Primax! Primax catches a diving Luna Piper in mid-air, before throwing her clear over the ropes!

    Tim Coleman: "Piper finally eliminated by Shaun Prima-"

    Luna Piper's hands grasp at the second rope at the very last second, and she slingshots herself back into the ring!

    Tim Coleman: "How does she keep surviving?!?"

    Luna Piper staggers back to her feet, and is instantly run down with a knee by Shaun Primax, who throws her into the corner, before throwing Kara Stacey into the corner on top of her. He runs to the opposite corner, before sprints back with a running splash on Stacey and Piper! He goes to do it again, but is intercepted with a superkick by Juan Tothrefor! And another! Juan Tothrefor with a frenzy of strikes to attack the big man! He keeps on him with kick, forearm, punch, eventually backing Shaun Primax into a corner! He climbs onto the second ropes, and starts raining down Diez Count on Primax!

    Jim Taylor: "Not the safest of places to be, on the second ropes... But Juan seems to have Shaun stunned for the time being."

    The crowd starts to count along with every connecting punch! One! Two! Three! Four! Hey, that sounds familiar. Juan Tothrefor gets up to nine before Shaun Primax manages to block a punch, gripping Tothrefor as he walks out of the corner and throwing him gut-first onto the top rope! Tothrefor manages to kick Primax away, and bounces himself back onto the mat-

    - Only to turn directly into a running big boot by Shaun Primax, sending him tumbling head over heels over the top rope!

    ELIMINATION #21 - Juan Tothrefor
    Eliminated by Shaun Primax (III)


    Jim Taylor: "With Juan Tothrefor out, that makes three eliminations for Shaun Primax - the most out of anyone in the battle royal!"

    Tim Coleman: "The power of Shaun Primax. The agility of Luna Piper. The strength of Kara Stacey. And the technical prowess of Keegan Role. One of these wrestlers will be the winner here tonight!"

    In the north corner, Shaun Primax.

    In the east corner, Keegan Role.

    In the west corner, Luna Piper.

    And in the south corner, Kara Stacey.

    Kara Stacey and Luna Piper exchange a quick glance, then a subtle head nod, accepting an alliance, as across the ring Keegan Role & Shaun Primax do the same. The foursome launch themselves at each other! Wild fists and clubbing blows aimed at wherever they can! The cohesion and chemistry of Piper & Stacey comes out on top, with the two executing a quick big boot / spinning heel kick onto Primax, sending him staggering, before dropping Role with a double DDT!

    Jim Taylor: "I have a feeling that whichever makeshift 'team' here comes out on top will have a massive boost of momentum towards the end of this battle royal."

    With Shaun Primax dazed in a corner, Kara Stacey gets on her hands and knees, motioning for Luna Piper, who takes a running start before launching herself off of Stacey's back in a massive splash - a splash that Shaun Primax catches in midair, before crushing Piper with a spinebuster! Stacey is quick to stay on offense with a belly-to-belly suplex on Primax, and goes to follow it up when Keegan Role grabs her foot, twisting it in his grasp!

    Tim Coleman: "Keegan Role is looking for that Fire of the Role heel hook, a sure killer, especially on Kara Stacey's already bad ankle!"

    So it would seem! But rather than dropping to the mat and locking it in fully, Keegan Role remains standing, dragging Kara Stacey towards the ropes with his ankle grip. Stacey tries to break it, but suddenly Role climbs onto the second rope?!?

    Jim Taylor: "That's a dangerous place to be, what's Keegan Role thinking?"

    Keegan Role suddenly throws himself out of the ring, over the top rope?!? Dangling just above the apron, only now does Keegan Role lock in the heel hook fully, as the weight of him drags Kara Stacey over the ropes! Stacey grabs the top tope, trying to save herself and kick away at Role, but Role jerks away at the heel even more, and thrusts his body towards the floor, a leg wrapped around the bottom rope! The pressure is too much, and Stacey's grip slips! She stumbles to the floor as Keegan Role slides back into the ring!

    ELIMINATION #22 - Kara Stacey
    Eliminated by Keegan Role (II)


    Tim Coleman: "The heel hook and Kara Stacey's bad foot paid dividends! We're down to three!"

    "WERE YOU WATCHING, REAGAN?!?" Keegan Role screams. "I DID THIS FOR YOUUUUU!" He points to someone who has the misfortune of looking vaguely like Reagan Cole, and shrieks-

    Allowing Luna Piper to nail a superkick, sending him over the top rope! But he lands on the apron, and immediately tries to scramble through the ropes - only for Piper to nail him with a high-angle dropkick, sending him careening to the floor below!

    ELIMINATION #23 - Keegan Role
    Eliminated by Luna Piper (I)


    Jim Taylor: "Keegan Role is eliminated! We're down to two! Shaun Primax and Luna Piper!"

    Tim Coleman: "Shaun Primax with more eliminations to his name than anyone else, and Luna Piper who had nearly been eliminated so many times! Power vs speed! Strength vs agility! Who will come out on top!"

    Shaun Primax and Luna Piper, locked in a staredown, circle each other in the ring, before locking up. With the strength and size advantage, Primax overpowers Piper, throwing her into a corner and nailing several knee lifts to the sternum. He grabs her by the neck, and throws her over the ropes! But Piper hangs on, catching Primax with a jawbreaker over the top rope to gain some separation, before springboarding back in with a missile dropkick! Primax retreats against the ropes, and Piper springs with a running bicycle kick! Primax tilts, but doesn't go over the ropes. Piper goes for a second bicycle kick, but Primax surprises her with an STO!

    Tim Coleman: "And just like that, Shaun Primax's equalizing power grinds Luna Piper's momentum to a halt."

    Gripping Luna Piper over his shoulder, Shaun Primax drops her facefirst against the turnbuckle, before sprinting to the opposite side of the ring. As Piper stumbles near the ropes, Primax launches himself with a running big boot, the finishing touch of The Primer!

    But Piper ducks under it, yanking the top rope down behind her! Primax crotches himself on the top rope, grimacing in discomfort, as Piper grabs his other leg and tries to push him out!

    Jim Taylor: "This might be the best chance Luna Piper has at eliminating Shaun Primax - no-one's ever 100% focused after a landing like that."

    Luna Piper succeeds! Shaun Primax hangs on to the top rope, in a very unusual position for him as he's mere inches away from elimination, his feet dangling above the floor! Piper batters away at Primax's hands, trying to loosen his grip, but Primax manages to swing his legs back onto the apron and to safety. He grabs Piper by the head, nails a sickening headbutt, before he drags her over the top rope onto the apron next to him!

    Tim Coleman: "Battling above dangerous territory here..."

    Shaun Primax roars, sensing his victory to be mere seconds away, before he puts Luna Piper in a powerbomb position! With Piper on his shoulders, Primax turns, aiming to throw her directly onto the floor where she can't save herself again!

    Jim Taylor: "This won't just end the match, it might just end Luna Piper's ability to walk unassisted!"

    But Luna Piper struggles, catching Shaun Primax with some fists to the dome, before she shoves herself off, landing in the ring behind Primax! She catches him with a spinning heel kick to the back, a low-angle dropkick to the knees, and a spinning backfist to the face! Primax drops, hands clutching the top rope for all his life!

    Tim Coleman: "Save yourself, Shaun!"

    Jim Taylor: "This is Luna Piper's moment!"


    Shaun Primax tries to save himself from elimination, as Luna Piper signals! She sprints in from the opposite side of the ring with the Putting You Under! Aimed between the ropes, right into Shaun Primax's face! Her knee cracks Primax across the nose, and his grip slips! He falls to the floor!

    ELIMINATION #24 - Shaun Primax
    Eliminated by Luna Piper (II)
    Result: Luna Piper wins the 'I'm New Here' Battle Royal at 22:19.

    Spoiler:

    The crowd roars in approval as Luna Piper drops to the center of the ring, exhausted. She raises an arm in victory, vibing slightly along to the beat of her music.


    Lindsay Monahan: "HERE IS YOUR WINNER... LUNA PIPER!"

    Jim Taylor: "What a hell of a victory for Luna Piper!"

    Tim Coleman: "She outlasted, outmanuvered, and outsurvived twenty-four of the best and brightest unsigned talents! I think she was in danger of elimination more than anyone else, but she dug deep down and persevered!"

    Jim Taylor: "And she's got a standing ovation for it all! Congratulations, Luna Piper!"

    Tim Coleman: "Over the past twenty minutes, we've met a lot of could-be stars, just waiting to be picked up. We might've seen future world champions in this battle royal. But the one who has the most potential? The Trance Queen, Luna Piper. Let her take us under, Jim."


    The crowd - and the commentary team too - vibes along with Luna Piper, a star made in 20 minutes, as we fade to black...

    *****

    "03:35."

    We return to the ring, and inside of it two men are already staring at one another as if waiting for the beginning of hostilities. In one corner is Dicky Zuko, making sure his hair is on point and keeping a watchful eye on his opponent across the ring. That is Diego Gonzalez, who waits patiently for the official to conduct his final checks. Afterwards, the referee calls for the bell, and this pre-show match can get underway...

    The Launch-Pad: Singles Match.
    Dicky Zuko vs. Diego Gonzalez.
    (1/20)

    We're into the action with these two trading some barbs in the middle of the ring, with the psychedelic greaser mouthing off but Diego undoubtedly having the better of it. Dicky has managed to slow down Diego, however, pressing him into the corner and delivering some shoulder thrusts. Diego gasps with each one, so Diago takes his chance and whips him across the ring, following him to the corner… but Bryan BACKFLIPS off the turnbuckle, landing behind Diego! Dicky Zuko does a double...triple.. quadruple take before finally turning in horror as the crowd livens up, with Diego now slamming into the ropes and coming back… TO NAIL DICKY WITH A FLYING CLOTHESLINE!

    Jim Taylor:
    “Out of nowhere!! Diego Gonzalez leaps into the air and takes Dicky down to the mat!”

    Tim Coleman:
    “An impressive start here from Gonzalez and Zucko is reeling! I don’t think our most beloved pre-show competitor knows where he is right now…”
    Both get up, Dicky counting the stars as they flicker in front of his eyes, then turning to face Diego – WHO BLASTS HIM WITH ANOTHER FIERCE CLOTHESLINE! This time, Dicky stays down, so DG heads out to the apron, feeding off the crowd as they begin to cheer. the CWA legend hauls himself up to the top, then measures Dicky as he (?) begins to get up… BEFORE DIEGO THROWS HIMSELF OFF THE TOP – AND BRINGS DICKY DOWN WITH THE FRONT MISSILE DROPKICK! That gets the crowd on its feet, while conversely, Diego and Dicky collapse to the floor, with Diego pumping that arm to keep himself going. Slowly, he manages to find the energy to force himself over Dicky for the cover… one… two… but Dicky rolls a shoulder at two and a half!

    Jim Taylor:
    “Dicky able to get the shoulder up at two and a half, but we’re only in the early goings and I’m not really sure how much more of this Zucko can take…”
    Light boos from the crowd, but Diego remains confident, rolling back smoothly to his feet and stalking the greaser. Dicky searches on the canvas, clearly shaken but able to find a vertical base and turn around to face his opponent… who kicks him in the side! Dicky reels back, but sidesteps the next kick, knowing where those could lead, then grabs Bryan by the wrist and whips him away… no, Dicky pulls him back and THROWS him into the Flapjack! The crowd groans as Diago rolls sideways in pain, and Dicky adds an Elbow Drop before hooking a leg… one… two… but Diago kicks out! It takes him a moment to recover, pressing his hand to his jaw to sell the flapjack, but Diago finds his way up – only to get put in a front facelock by Dicky…

    Tim Coleman:
    “And now Dicky finally finds his feet in this match, and he looks to be going for a snap suplex here…”

    Jim Taylor:
    “I’m not sure that Dicky wants to go hold-for-hold with, well, anyone really…”

    He wants control over this bout, but Diego can out-wrestle Dicky any day of the week, transitioning out of the hold and layering a kick or three into Dicky's side! Each kick is greeted with a shout of pain from Dicky, as he starts to fire up, taking out the greaser's knees with those sharp hits and bringing him down… BEFORE HE STARTS FIRING AWAY WITH KICKS TO THE CHEST, GETTING THE CROWD ROARING WITH APPROVAL! Dicky's kicking like a madman, remembering but now he stands back, leaving a dizzy and battered Dicky to rest on those skinny knees… the crowd is buzzing… AND DIEGO KICKS HIS FUCKING HEAD IN WITH BLUNT TRAUMA!

    A huge pop goes up as Dicky collapses in a heap, and Diago wastes no time, rolling dicky over and hooking a leg…

    ONE… TWO… THREE!
    Result: Diego Gonzalez via pinfall at 6:14.

    Diego Gonzalez gets to his feet and allows the official to raise his hand in victory. Little more is needed from this particular sequence, and so we fade back to our countdown timer...

    *****

    "03:45."

    The scene opens up in the backstage area, where we see four men sitting around a table and playing cards. Around the table are, oddly, Santino Dongarelli, Ricardo Vance, Paul DiMiaco, and Joey DiMiaco. Ricardo has a large cigar in his mouth as he places a card down on the table. There’s a general smokey smog in the room, as well as an easy and casual atmosphere…

    Santino Dongarelli: “You know, I had my doubts when this match was made, but you guys are okay…”

    Santino places a card down on top of Ricardo’s.

    Paul DiMiaco:
    “Yeah, I gotta admit, we had our doubts too, but you’re not bad guys…”

    Paul places a card down on the pile. Santino shares a sidewards glance at Ricardo, who cocks an eyebrow.

    Ricardo Vance: “You had doubts?”

    Joey places a card down as he begins to speak…

    Joey DiMiaco:
    “Yeah, you know… you’re okay and all… but we’re the DiMiaco Brothers! We wrestled two former world champions on the last show. We didn’t really understand what we were doing up against you boys…”
    Santino is stunned into silence, but Ricardo narrows his eyes.

    Ricardo Vance:
    “Yooo, we won The Krash Team Classic, son. You lost that match in what, three minutes?”

    Paul DiMiaco:
    “Four and a half!”

    Paul places a card down a little more emphatically, and his voice is raised. Santino finally finds his own…

    Santino Dongarelli:
    “Come on, guys. No need to get heated. We’re just playing cards here.”

    Ricardo and Paul ease up a little, and sit back in their chairs. Ricardo places a card down. Joey does the same, and takes a drink from his beer.

    Paul, in a fit of excitement, slams his palm down onto the pile…

    Paul DiMiaco:
    “SNAP!”

    Ricardo Vance:
    What?!”

    Paul smiles and sits back, looking like a champion. Vance chuckles and shakes his head.

    Santino Dongarelli:
    “We aren’t playing snap, fool…”

    Paul DiMiaco:
    “We’re not?”

    Richard Vance: “Go fish, son!”

    Paul’s bubble is burst, and he looks momentarily shellshocked.

    Paul DiMiaco:
    “But I don’t know how to play go fish...”

    Ricardo Vance:
    “You don’t know how to play snap, either… you snapped on a four and a five…”

    Paul inspects the cards and nods his head.

    Paul DiMiaco:
    “In the DiMiaco household, we play you can snap adjacent cards, so long as they’re suited…”

    Santino and Ricardo look at him in horror. Joey nods to back his brother up.

    Joey DiMiaco:
    “It’s true…”

    Ricardo Vance:
    “Oh, no, no, no, no, no...”
    He stands up from the table, in a fit of rage. Santino sighs in lament.

    Santino Dongarelli:
    “You done it now…”

    Ricardo Vance:
    “Snapping on non-paired cards?! What is this horse shit?!”

    Vance arrives at the door and swings it open. He shouts into the corridor…

    Ricardo Vance:
    “REF!!!”

    A few moments later, an official appears at the door.

    Ricardo Vance:
    “We're doing this shit right now!”

    The referee nods, and calls for the bell!

    The Launch-Pad: Tag Team Match.
    THE DIAMOND DOGS (Ricardo Vance and Santino Dongarelli) vs. THE DIMIACO BROTHERS (Paul and Joey DiMiaco).
    (1/20)

    As soon as the bell is rung, Ricardo Vance charges at Paul DiMiaco… and takes him out with a clothesline! Joey is right up to his feet, but Santino is waiting for him with a series of chops. They back him up towards the entrance to the room, and Santino winds up for a big forearm… but Joey ducks benearh it. Dongarelli turns into a big boot! Santino stumbles back out of the room… and he eats a dropkick from Joey!

    Jim Taylor: "This one was meant to take place later tonight on the main show… but it doesn't look like these four men wanted to wait!"
    Tim Coleman: "Well, yet more proof that gambling is bad, kids…"
    Jim Taylor: "I didn't see any chips, Tim!"

    Joey DiMiaco has taken Santino by the scruff of the neck and leads him down a corridor. Meanwhile, Vance is waiting for Paul to get to his feet. He lines him up, perhaps for another clothesline… but Paul picks up the stack of cards from the table and throws them into Ricardo's face! Vance is blinded by a flood of diamonds, hearts, spades, and clubs! Paul follows up quickly by taking Vance and hurling him over the cards table! Ricardo lands in a heap…

    Back in the corridor, Joey is lifting a knee repeatedly into Santino, and then he rocks him with a forearm! DiMiaco charges in, looking for a shoulder block… no! Step up enziguri from Dongarelli! DiMiaco is staggered, and Santino follows up with an STO!

    Jim Taylor: "And now Santino Dongarelli hooks the leg… but I don't think this is falls count anywhere!"

    Santino keeps the leg hooked for a few seconds, and then gives up and looks at the referee as if to say ‘what the fuck?!’

    Referee: “In the ring! Don’t make me count you out!”

    Dongarelli looks momentarily perplexed.

    Santino Dongarelli: “Which way’s the ring?!”

    The referee points to his left. Santino shrugs and lifts Joey up, before beginning to drag him in the direction that was pointed. Meanwhile, a way back up the corridor, Ricardo Vance tries to hurl Paul DiMiaco into a wall… no! Paul blocks it! And he sends Vance into the wall instead! Ricardo stumbles back towards Paul, who meets him with a boot to the midsection. He applies a front facelock…

    Jim Taylor: “Paul DiMiaco looking for a DDT here… but Vance senses the danger, and he pushes DiMiaco back-first into the wall!”

    Separation is caused, and Vance follows up with a series of knife edge chops whilst Paul is backed up. On the fourth attempt, though, Paul ducks beneath a chop and goes into a full nelson, maybe looking for a dragon suplex. Ricardo Vance fights out with an elbow to the head… and then goes behind into a rear waist lock… German suplex! On the concrete!

    Vance isn’t done there. He picks Paul DiMiaco up, and then hoists him into a cradled position…

    … and delivers a tombstone piledriver!!

    Jim Taylor: “69 SHOCKER BOMB!!”
    Tim Coleman: “That could very well be the end of Paul DiMiaco’s night…”

    We cut back to Dongarelli and Joey DiMiaco. They have fought all the way to Gorilla position, which is the entrance of the beach-front warehouse being used to house tonight’s backstage area. The beach is visible through the curtain when the wind blows, but the pair exchange blows inside the building instead… until Dongarelli lifts a knee up into Joey’s ribs! He spots a table nearby… and throws DiMiaco face first onto the table!

    Jim Taylor: “Santino doubles Joey over with a boot to the midsection… perhaps looking for a powerbomb through the table… he has Joey up…”
    Tim Coleman: “But DiMiaco fights out! Right hands being rained down onto Dongarelli’s head… and he’s forced to drop Joey…”

    DiMiaco lands next to Santino, and wastes no time getting him into position…

    Jim Taylor: “Uranage slam!! Through the table!!”

    But Joey has no time to catch his breath, let alone celebrate the move… as Vance arrives on the scene and dropkicks him through the curtain! Joey emerges onto the beach… followed by Vance… followed by the official. Ricardo follows Joey down the ramp with a series of stomps and, when the pair reach the bottom of it, he picks Joey up by the wrist… and Irish whips him into the steel ring steps! The audience cheer the move, and Vance follows up by finally rolling Joey into the ring…

    Jim Taylor: “Finally!”

    Ricardo spends a moment speaking casually to one of the front row fans, and then finally rolls under the bottom rope. He stands up… and Joey charges at him at top speed! Clothesline!! Both men spill out onto the outside!!

    The referee, exasperated by this, starts his count….

    ONE…

    Joey is first to his feet, and this time it is his turn to drag Vance up in a laboured fashion…

    TWO…

    Ricardo Vance is sent back first into the barricade with an Irish whip!

    Jim Taylor: “This one is essentially a one-on-one match-up now, it seems! Paul DiMiaco and Santino Dongarelli still haven’t emerged from the backstage area!"

    THREE…

    Joey DiMiaco tees up Vance, and then lays into him with alternating right hands and knife edge chops!

    FOUR…

    Until the sixth in the series is blocked by Vance! And he fires back with a headbutt!

    FIVE…

    Tim Coleman: “And Ricardo now just FLINGS Joey over that barricade and into the crowd!”
    Jim Taylor: “I think he’s following him in, Tim!”

    SIX…

    Vance hits Joey with a straight right, and then applies a front facelock…

    SEVEN….

    Snap suplex! On the sand! Vance gets up to a pop from the crowd, and then proceeds to lay into Joey with stomps. DiMiaco crawls away, towards the sand dunes…

    EIGHT…

    Jim Taylor: “I’m not sure these two are bothered about returning to the ring!”

    Tim Coleman: “This one’s been out of control since it got started!”

    Joey has scrambled to his feet, and Vance tries to level him with a kick…

    NINE…

    Leg whip from DiMiaco!! Vance falls at the foot of the sand dunes, and begins to climb them in order to temporarily retreat. Joey follows him, the two trading blows as they disappear over the lip of the hill…

    TEN!
    Result: Match declared a ‘no contest’ by double countout at 7:14.

    Jim Taylor: “Well, that was…”

    Tim Coleman: “That was The Launch-Pad, Jim! And you know what’s next?!”

    Jim Taylor: “I do, Tim! It’s time for CWA: South Pacific!”

    Tim Coleman: “You’re goddamn right!”

    *****

    THE CLIQUE WRESTLING ALLIANCE
    proudly presents...



    Live from Espiritu Santo Beach, Vanuatu.

    *****

    When the scene opens up, we find ourselves tracking over a beach with deep blue waters around it. The sands are almost white, and standing upon the beach are a few hundred revelling CWA fans. A volleyball court has been set up near the staging area, and four women push an inflatable beach ball over the net to one another. Nearby, a line of tiki-style bars serve exotic-looking drinks and more standard beers alike. A couple walks in front of the shot, the woman holding a bottle of Stella (Heineken being banned from the event) and the man a milk-based cocktail in a hollowed out coconut. A metallic ramp runs from the staging area to the ring, and beyond this - on the other side of the beach to the ocean - white sand dunes run up towards a forested area. The stage itself is adorned with palm trees, sun loungers, and cool boxes full of ice cold beer.

    Jim Taylor: "What a day to be at the beach!!"

    As soon as Taylor delivers his opening line, fireworks are released around the stage. They are entirely comprised of an array of gold and blue rockets, which explode high above the set. The sun still peers over the lip of the world, but sunset is here and the night is ready to get started...

    Jim Taylor: "Ladies and gentlemen... welcome to CWA: South Pacific! And what glorious fun in the sun we have in stall for any REAL wrestling fans that might be watching! And chief on that list is our main event of the evening, where the CWA World Tag Team Championships will be on the line! Three-time champions The Gang Stars will defend their crowns for the first time after defeating The Echo and former champions The Division last year at One Night Only..."

    Tim Coleman: "And it'll be Trevor Ocean and Noah Stocke who stand opposite from Krash and Alyster Black in that main event, as The Division look to take back what was won in Philadelphia in that incredible ladder match!"

    Jim Taylor: "We thought that would be our only title match tonight... but thanks to Brayden Bridges relinquishing his grasp on the CWA World Heavyweight Championship, we'll see a new holder crowned tonight! The Gold Rush tournament, into which we are already thirty matches deep, reaches its thrilling conclusion tonight... and the winner will go home with the vacant world championship!"

    Tim Coleman: "The night will start with two semi-finals: Cyrus Truth will face off against The White Wolf Krash, whilst our opener will see Shawn Summers and Jon Snowmantashi fight for the other berth in the final. Krash could have quite the night... we know he'll have at least TWO matches here at South Pacific! Adding a third couldn't hurt, surely?"

    Jim Taylor: "That's not all, either: four-way action will see Johnny Vegas, Clint Shepard, XYZ, and Billy Hatcher go at it here in Vanuatu... whilst Michelle Von Horrowitz prepares to enter the Heart of Darkness - whatever that means - with Lilith... and we'll also see who is next in line for a tag team title shot as The Echo, The Undisputed Alliance, and Murder, Inc. compete in the first ever Jailhouse Blues match!"

    Tim Coleman: "It could be a night of firsts tonight, Jim... and I think it's about time to get to business!"


    The camera leaves the commentators and settles on the stage for...

    Sword of Destiny | Marcin Przybyłowicz and Percival Schuttenbach.
    Spoiler:

    The crowd erupts as the PA system on the beach stirs into life, the first entrance theme of the night's main show eliciting some reaction from the audience. Jon Snowmantashi looks out of place as he walks out onto the stage, a sense of gravitas about him and a stern, focussed look on his face. At his side is John Duncan, who - unlike his charge - has a smile on his face as he gives Snowmantashi a slap on the back and then a round of applause. The manager's actions don't seem to register with the kaiju, and neither do the audience's cheers. He walks down the ramp towards the ring.

    Jim Taylor: "Here comes the longest reigning World Heavyweight Champion in CWA history... a man who was absolutely dominant during the pool stages of the Gold Rush tournament..."

    Tim Coleman: "He's the only wrestler still undefeated in this tournament, picking up victories over Krash, Alyster Black, Dan Maskell, and Chubby Carlos, as well as a twenty-minute time limit draw with old rival Michelle von Horrowitz. This is a huge task ahead of Shawn Summers tonight."

    Jim Taylor: "You can say that again, Tim. Jon Snowmantashi has his eyes set on the richest prize in professional wrestling, and I for one certainly wouldn't bet against him..."


    Snowmantashi walks up the ring-steps and climbs into the ring. He stands in a corner and waits, a passive and almost bored expression on his face.

    Cola | Lana del Rey.
    Spoiler:

    The reaction from the audience is mixed when Shawn Summers walks out onto the stage, but it is quite clear that they are no concern to him. He immediately begins to walk down the ramp, ignoring the fans on the front row regardless of whether they are cheering him or booing him.

    Jim Taylor: "An interesting path to this semi-final match for Shawn Summers, who finished in second place in his pool. Losses against Jonathan McGinnis and then Christopher Jackson on Nights One and Two meant he'd have to win three on the bounce to have any chance of making tonight's final four..."

    Tim Coleman: "And that's exactly what he did: Nate Savage, Humanity, and then a massive win over Cyrus Truth formed a sort of redemption narrative for Shawn Summers, who has been experiencing more positive reactions that he's used to from the CWA fans as a direct result."

    Jim Taylor: "I don't think Shawn Summers particularly cares whether he's cheered or booed, Tim, but you're undoubtedly correct. Summers' main rivals for qualification alongside Truth - who won his pool and will face Krash in our second match - were Nate Savage and Jonathan McGinnis. The race for second was a veritable rogue's gallery..."

    Tim Coleman: "And Summers is the lesser evil?"

    Jim Taylor: "People love an underdog... and that underdog story continues tonight. I don't like Summers' odds against the kaiju...."


    Summers, undaunted, slides into the ring and stands up in the corner. He climbs to the second rope and stares out over the beach, and then to sea. When he hops down, his music fades out, and Der Basterd turns to face the Snowmantashi head-on. Lindsay Monaghan has climbed into the ring for the first time of the night, a smile on her face and a microphone in her hand.

    Lindsay Monaghan: "Ladies and gentlemen, the first contest of the evening is a Gold Rush tournament semi-final match... scheduled for one-fall and with a thirty minute time limit... introducing first, in the corner to my left... he weighs in tonight at two hundred and twenty five pounds… from Laguna Beach, California… he is a former CWA Pure Champion and a former CWA World Tag Team Champion… SHAWN SUMMERS!”

    A moderate cheer for Summers, but with a healthy amount of derision mixed into it.

    Lindsay Monaghan: “And his opponent… in the corner to my right.. from Tokyo, Japan… he is a Ruler of the Ring tournament winner and a former two-time CWA World Heavyweight Champion... he weighs in tonight at two hundred and ninety pounds… ‘Inhuman’... JON… SNOWMANTASHI!”

    A loud ovation for Snowmantashi from the few hundred fans on the beach. John Duncan nods his head appreciatively from the outside of the ring. As the official makes his final checks, Monaghan gets out of the ring and moves back to the timekeeper's area. The camera shows the CWA World Heavyweight Championship belt, sitting front of Monaghan on a stand.

    Tim Coleman: "And that's what it's all about, Jim! The stakes for the Gold Rush are even higher, now! Snowmantashi and Summers... Truth and Krash... this is it!"

    Jim Taylor: "Tonight, a new champion is crowned... and it all begins right now
    !!"

    Match One.
    Gold Rush Tournament: Semi-Final Match.
    JON SNOWMANTASHI
    (w/ John Duncan) vs. SHAWN SUMMERS.
    (1/30)

    Right from the bell, the crowd tries to get on Summers back a little with some Jon Snowmantashi chants. Summers ignores them and steps forward, loosening out his fingertips to ready himself for some grappling. As Jon Snowmantashi also takes a step to meet Summers. The two men square up, the bigger man bristling with a furious look on his face – even though Summers gives up some height, he doesn’t look intimidated in the slightest facing down a human mountain of pain. Staring right back into Snowmantashi eyes. He takes a moment to let it sink in that he’s not afraid despite facing down against the single most dominating wrestler in history … then SHOVES him. The Offspring of Godzilla and a machine gun steps back, but no further – it’s possibly looking annoyed at Summers clear disrespect. He wields the lethal right hand and SWINGS FOR THE FENCES… but Summers ducks under it! Shawn Summers slams into the ropes for some pace then launches back into Snowmantashi with a fierce Running Shoulder Block! SPLAT. It’s like a car speeding into a brick wall, Shawn Summers goes flying, and Jon Snowmantashi staggers, but again, the man is an oak. He doesn’t fall. Summers takes a long look at him, trying to gauge a weak spot, then ducks under the giant’s paws headed his way. Snowmantashi turns in surprise, and here come the right hands, peppered into the big man’s jaw. Summers winds up – BOOM goes the next shot, more of a lariat attempt than anything...still the big man stays on his feet as he wobbles … Summers into the ropes AND THE FOOTBALL TACKLE TO THE KNEE! Finally, finally, that seems to have done something as Snowmantashi takes a knee. As quick as a hiccup. Shawn Summers is on Snowmantashi, knowing full well he’s got to press the advantage where he can take it; he goes at Jon Snowmantashi with stiff feral right and left doing ANYTHING he can to keep the big man down., he makes for the ropes looking for a shining wizard. And Runs RIGHT into a STIFF open hand chop that echoes around the arena from a kneeling down Jon Snow when he rebounds back! The crowd cries out in awe, As Summers falls to the ground and his eyes bulge in agony. He’s clutching at his chest as he rolls out of the ring, preventing Snowmantashi from pressing the advantage. Snowmantashi, for his part, doesn’t follow outside; instead calmly paces the ring and waiting for his opponent to show back up.

    The moment Summers gets in the ring, Snowmantashi is trying to walk down his opponent, but Summers is alert, staying on his toes, being sure not to get caught by the daunting challenger, and throws a snappy right hand before ducking out of Snowmantashi range. , but it’s obvious Summers will need to do a lot more than that to hurt the immortal one. Summers sticks and moves, though, not wanting to get caught so early on, whilst the imposing Snowmantashi continues to try and calmly walk Summers down, but Summers avoids falling into Snowmantashi range and scores with another slick right before dodging out of harm's way it’s all very cagey stuff in the opening moment, and Summers isn’t endearing himself to the crowd, but he’s clearly got a game plan while Snowmantashi continues to walk forward calmly.

    The two men begin to circle the ring, with Summers still on edge, hesitant to take any risk, whilst Snowmantashi continues to stalk him down … trying to corner Summers … but before he can strike, Summers ducks under, escaping from the wrath of the monster, then stiffly kicks the leg of Snowmantashi before dodging out of range once again. Summers continues to circle, with Snowmantashi hunting him down, walking forward, trying again to corner Summers, and as Summers back into the corner … SNOWMANTASHI EXPLODES, looking to charge down his prey, but Summers JUST ducks out and under out of danger. Snowmantashi slaps the top turnbuckle, clearly getting annoyed at Summers less than forthright tactics, and Summers makes his moves and strikes the chest of the massive man with his forearm … but Snowmantashi grabs the striking arm of Summers - HE’S TRAPPED NOW!!! Summers tries to pull his arm free … but Snowmantashi is too strong … AND HE THROWS SUMMERS INTO THE CORNER LIKE A RAGDOLL … AND CHARGES IN … BUT SUMMERS GETS A FOOT UP!!! Snowmantashi backs up, shaking off the boot to the face … but Summers goes for broke, trying to load up the challenger … AND GOES FOR THE ALPHA MALE … BUT SNOWMANTASHI SHOVES HIM AWAY - into the ropes, and scoops him up on the return … but Summers slides off the back, and runs Jon Snowmantashi into the corner, exploding with punches to the body of Snowmantashi, and mounts the corner, letting fly with successive right hands,BUT SNOWMANTASHI REACHES UP - AND GRIPS SUMMERS BY THE THROAT - AND POWERS SUMMERS TO THE MAT!!!!!​ Summers topples on the canvas, but adrenaline sees him shoot right back up, and ducks under a surging Snowmantashi, running off the ropes, with Snowmantashi ducking down … and Summers sunset flips over the challenger … trying to take him over for the pin BIG MISTAKE … BUT SUMMERS REACHES DOWN AND GRIPS SUMMERS BY THE THROAT … and powers Summers up from the mat, but miraculously again Summers escapes Snowmantashi wrath, breaking the grip, and ducks a wild clothesline, running off the ropes, sliding under the immortal one on his return, and runs off the ropes again … AND RIGHT INTO A FUCK YOU STIFF LARIAT!!! And ‘OHHHHH’ builds around the building as Snowmantashi finally gets his hands on Summers as Snowmantashi goes for the pin..it’s a two but only just! ! A heart-stopping moment as Snowmantashi nearly putting Summers out of his misery with his first big offensive move of the contest.

    Tim Coleman: "Well, it was a good idea in principle, stick and move early on. Keep out of Snowmantashi’s range until he makes a mistake and tires himself out. That’s smart tactics from a true student of the game."

    Jim Taylor: “But there’s only so long you can outrun a force of nature, and Shawn Summers way too early impatience attempt at the Guillotine choke is going to cost him here."


    It isn’t long before Snowmantashi brutally working over Summers with those massive bear paws he calls fists he peels Summers up from the mat, chucking the champion into the corner, placing both hands around the neck, and continues the soul out of Summers with hammer-like blows, it’s only the ref that saves Summers as he slumps down, onto his hands and knees, coughing up, Snowmantashi pushes the ref out of the way and shoves Summers onto the ropes, and chokes and drives his knee into the back, and choking Summers on the ropes, he takes the clean break Summers tries to climb back to his feet by using the ropes … ONLY TO BE GIVEN A STIFF CHOP - SENDING SUMMERS TOPPLING OVER THE TOP ROPE - AND ONTO THE FLOOR OUTSIDE!!!!!

    Tim Coleman: "Ohhhhhh! That’s going to leave a handprint!"


    It’s all Snowmantashi as Summers is on the floor, regretting all his life choices and hoping for a moments pause like before. No such luck. This time Snowmantashi is more than happy to follow him out and keep the pain train chuggin’ along. He peels Summers off the floor, shoving him against the ring post, and connects with a big chop that sends Summers staggering, clutching his chest, but Snowmantashi calmly stalks him down, turning him around and strikes again. Summers spins away again, holding his chest, grabbing onto another ringpost to stop himself from going down, with Snowmantashi turning him around once again - and strikes with another big chop - one that takes Summers off his feet!!! Snowmantashi drags Summers back up to his feet, dragging Snowmantashi around ringside … BEFORE LAUNCHING HIM ACROSS THE ANNOUNCE TABLE! Summers slides right across, creating chaos in the area, with Summers rolls in and out of the ring momentarily to break the count.

    On the floor, Summers tries to crawl away, but as he crawls away, he is met by Snowmantashi stomps, and he drags Summers back up, slamming his head off the announce table, with Summers stumbling away from the scene, spaghetti legged. Snowmantash stalks him, grabbing him by the arm … and whips Summers into the barrier!!! Summers winces in pain, leant upon the barrier, with Snowmantashi giving no time to recover, unleashing another punch to the defenceless Summers!!! Snowmantashi grabs Summers by the head, rolling him back into the ring. Summers crawls around as Snowmantashi slowly re-enters, stalking Summers, taking his time to pull him to his feet, and HEADBUTTS Summers sending him reeling into the corner. Snowmantashi down again, and loads up … FIRING SUMMERS ACROSS THE RING WITH AUTHORITY -Irish Whip to the opposite corner - AND SUMMERS TOPPLES OVER, BARELY HOLDING HIMSELF UP, AND HERE COMES SNOWMANTASHI CHANGING FORWARD...But Summers instincts kick in, and he stumbles out of the way of the mother of all squishing. More like falling, to be honest, given the sheer amount of punishment he’s taken..

    Jim Taylor: "I think Shawn Summers just saved himself from turning this into a squash match, no pun intended but you gotta beli-"

    Tim Coleman: “Woah, Woah, Woah. Do you see that?!"

    Jim Taylor: "What?"

    Tim Coleman: “Something is up; Snowmantashi isn’t steady on his feet."


    He’s right. As he crashed into the turnbuckle to gain more momentum, he jumped just a little as he ran into the corner, but finding nothing, he seemed to have dropped down on his foot somewhat awkwardly. At first, he just seems to stumble, but as he tries to put weight on it, there’s absolutely a grunt of pain as he is clearly limping and struggling on it,

    Jim Taylor: “This might be a problem here, all that weight might have come down on that ankle, and he may have rolled it..."

    The ref is instantly on it, making sure he’s ok, but Snowmantashi shoves him off; Summers eyes widen, from his supine position and quickly gets to his feet. Snowmantashi hobbies forward wincing. But Summers BOOTS him in the ankle to send him down. There’s a roar of pain from the former world champion as he tries to shake off the blow trying to hide the effect, but it’s clear something is up with that ankle and after a prologued period of quite frankly getting the shit kicked out of him senses weakness for the first time. Without any hesitation, he starts stomping on the wounded ankle, again and again, enjoying every gasp of pain from the monster. Snowmantashi rolls towards the corner, his face now troubled as the pain sinks in, knowing his foot is in a bad way. And Summers heads for him, looking for THE BEES KNEES -NO Snowmantashi moves away, hauling his giant body away from the corner, so Summers stops himself and instead expertly grapples around Snowmantashi’s arms to get him in a front face lock. He’s trying to tip him onto his back to get at the ankle again, but using that sheer power Snowmantashi shoves him away. Playing defensively.

    Tim Coleman: “The entire complexity of this match just changed Jim! At first Snowmantashi was comfortable in his style of match, but clearly, he has a bum wheel, and you don’t want that to happen in a match with a man like Shawn Summers. He might be the best in the world at picking apart limbs, and now he’s going to be like a shark sensing blood, and Snowmantashi knows it."

    Jim Taylor: “Well, we know that Snowmantashi has taken a near inhuman amount of pain in the gold rush; this might be just the consequences of that..."

    Summers stumbles back, but before he can go back on the offensive, Snowmantashi is forcing himself up, and Summers moves in, but Snowmantashi growls through the pain and wraps his hand around Summers's throat...before he THROWS him into the nearest corner and goes to town with strikes and stiff chops. (Which MUST be affecting Summers breathing at this point) Summers is delirious, trying to get his head straight as he staggers forward, but Snowmantashi sends him to the ropes and flying into the air with the back body drop! Summers crashes to the canvas in pain, and it’s at this point that Snowmantashi falls to a knee, selling his ankle. His forehead is sweating, his cheeks flushed, but he forces himself back up rather than let Summers see any weakness when he tilts his head up. Summers fight through his pain to get up, but immediately nailed with a headbutt to send him wavering back into the ropes. Snowmantashi follows it up with a thundering right hand to the gut, forcing Summers over. He whips him across the ring, fighting off the ankle pain to meet him with a sidewalk slam. He lets out a heavy breath, then hooks a leg, but it's a kick out at two.

    Out of the pinfall, Snowmantashi forces himself back up. He doesn’t look comfortable at all between the ropes, trying to disguise the way he limps around the ring but failing. He realises how he looks and instead couches to wait for Summers. After a beat, the technical marvel is up, shaking out the cobwebs and meeting him head-on. Snowmantashi is caught off guard by Summers not taking a moment, but he easily wins the brawl, rocking him with a sharp right hand to the stomach- only for Summers to go after the left ankle with his boot. Snowmantashi gasps in pain, more of a deep bellow than anything, but shoves Snowmantashi away and throws a clothesline-but Summers ducks it. Summers turns and dives instinctively with a chop block; It’s not to the ankle, of course, but it brings the monster to the knee, allowing him to hit the ropes and DRILLS Snowmantashi with LIGHTS OUT-! A variation of a roundhouse kick. The impact sends Snowmantashi reeling to the side, but he growls to himself and struggles up,-No Summers off the ropes again. Running chop block! Snowmantashi’s eyes are wide, pain shooting through him, and this time falls down, stopping himself from going all the way down with his right paw on the canvas. He refuses to stay down, though, getting up to face Summers coming at him again; a RUNNING FRONT CHOP BLOCK TAKES SNOWMANTASHI OFF HIS FEET. THAT WAS LIKE A FOOTBALL TACKLE! Snowmantashi collapses in a heap, blinking in shock, and Summers throws his body on top of that heap...but it’s a two count.

    But Summers doesn’t seem to be bothered by it; in fact, he’s smiling as if to say, “I got him” He stands to thank about where to aim next- but of course, that’s not a thought process that takes very long. Summers pulls Snowmantash’s left leg up, then falls on it with a leg drop, giving him the freedom to hammer on Snowmantashi’s injured angle with the heel of his beet! Each shot makes Snowmantashi yell in pain, So Summers transitions to grab then ankle-he SLAMS it against the mat, again and again! As Snowmantashi writhes in pain, Summers winds up then grinds a knee into the ankle, leaving it there as a submission. The ref asks if Snowmantashi wants to quit, but you know the answer, Summers lets go, Flexes out his fingers, then grabs the ankle for THE BEST F’N ANKLE LOCK EVER! But Snowmantashi turns and catches him in the face with his right foot! Summers stumbles and then topples to the mat. Snowmantasho, covered in sweat and pain, ROARS and hauls his body up as the crowd chants SNOW-MAN-TASHI SNOW-MAN-TASHI to spur him on. Snowmantashi nods his head and then moves forward with purpose. Looking to finish things. He knows the longer this match goes on, the more his ankle is going to be a problem, so he’s looking to end things here and now. He’s feeding off the energy of the crowd...and here comes Summers shaking off the cobwebs running forward RIGHT ONTO SNOWMANTASHI’S SHOULDERS-HAILSTORM!-NO! Summers wiggles off, and KICKS HIM IN THE ANKLE! Snowmantashi yells in pain, and now Summers hits the ropes and then CAREERS THROUGH SNOWMANTASHI WITH A LOW DROPKICK RIGHT TO THE ANKLE FULL FORCE!

    Once again, the big guy hits the mat, gasping through his exhaustion;

    Jim Taylor: “I hate to say it; but ever since that apparent ankle injury Summers has wrestled a near-perfect game plan."

    Tim Coleman: “That’s exactly what does this man does! There’s no flash from this guy, there’s no moonsaults or 450s from Summers, but he when it comes to pure solid wrestling, he might be the best in the world right now. We are watching a Master of The Mat at work!"


    Summers doesn’t waste a second going for the RED KING,LANDING ELBOW AFTER ELBOW TO SNOWMANTASHI IN A MOUNTED POSITION, but Snowmantashi covers up, which leaves his ankle open, so Summers goes back to it, with a stomp or three or four. Snowmantash begins to crawl to the ropes, his ankle almost unusable at this point, but Summers stands on the ankle with a sick smile. Jon Snowmantashi groans as the ref quickly gets involved but Summers gets some springing up using the ropes and DOWN on the ankle again. The height off the second rope makes it all the more painful, and now Summers does a slow measured lap of the ring, a cocky smirk on his face feeling totally in control. He heads towards him and pulls the big man up, wrapping his arms around him to maybe- this can’t work- attempt Midsommar?! But before he can even try. Snowmantashi shoots back to life to hoast him up into the Hail Storm again-No! The ankle gives out, and Summers lands behind him- and like a shark Summers dives for the ankle. But Snowmantashi hobbles sideways to getaway. But Summers is right on him, but Snowmantashi shoves him off only for him to come back and Snowmantashi grabs him and turns him into a T-Bone Suplex! It’s clumsy and it’s tired, but it works, as Snowmantashi goes for the pin! Two!

    Jim Taylor: “And there you see it! The egomania of of Summers costing him again! There was no way he was going to get a man the size of Jon Snowmantashi into position for Midsommar! But he got cocky, and he gave the former world champion an opening!"

    And he’s not wrong. Summers looks almost embarrassed with himself as he struggles to the ropes. He pulls himself up and turns to Snowmantashi; it looks like a effort for him to get to his feet. Sweating, the big man cocks his arm before lashing out with a Lariat and fires at Summers, but Summers ducks it and as Snowmantashi turns SUMMERS SUDDENTLY LEAPS FORWARD LIKE A SPIDER MONKEY AND GOES FOR THE ALPHA MALE AGAIN! At any other time, at full strength, you gotta believe Snowmantashi would just swat him away again, but he’s beaten and hurting, and can barely take his weight let alone summers, and almost reluctantly falls to his knees allowing Summers to wrap his legs around him,and fully lock it in!

    Tim Coleman: "OH MY GOD! THIS IS IT! SUMMERS HAS EXECUTED HIS GAME PLAN PERFECTLY! AND NOW SNOWMANTASHI CAN’T DEFEND HIMSELF! ARE WE GONNA SEE A TAP?!"

    Snowmantashi is struggling but, he’s in a AWFUL position, center of the ring, no where to go and most likely in need of medical attention, Summers has him. He tries to roll to his right, and then to his left but the submission expert Summers has his legs crossed, preventing him from going anywhere. He’s now been in the hold longer than people has lasted, but slowly but surely the fight is dying out of him, with every second; Summers grip gets tighter under his chin, and the more his air is cut off...is he going to go out here?! Is he going to tap?! He might have to if nothing else to save his career and get him to a hospital as soon as possible for that ankle….

    Snowmantashi is fading…

    ...fading….

    ...Fading….

    …..With an almighty roar,that shakes the foundation of the building. Snowmantashi POWERS TO HIS FEET WITH SUMMERS STILL ONTOP OF HIM AND POWERS HIM DOWN RAMPAGE JACKSON STYLE! WITH SOME KIND OF SPINNING SLAM!

    Jim Taylor: “THE POWER OF THE KAIJU!!"

    The crowd is on his feet as both men are down in the center of the ring. Replays show that it was a mixture of every kind of slam you can think of, somewhere between a double leg takedown and a spinebuster turned ninety degrees as well. Summers struggles up using the ropes, looking like he’s been in a car crash while a combination of exhaustion of and pain makes Snowmantashi incapable of taking advantage, looking spent. Was that his last bit of energy he had left? Snowmantashi has rolled to the corner, breathing heavily as he tries to recover, but he’s got more to deal with...in a sudden rush of energy SUMMERS SUDDENTLY RUSHES FORWARD TO DEAL THE BEES KNEES!!! Snowmantashi takes another thumping blow as Summers stumbles back into the center of the ring, looking out on his feet. He stands and looks around for a moment, garnering some loud heet before he forces that motor back running AND ANOTHER BEES KNEES!! Removing himself from the debris to stand again. Snowmantashi kneels over in the corner, but Summers instead of going for the pin...He grabs the left ankle and heads to the outside

    Jim Taylor: “I don’t like where this is going…”

    CRACK goes Snowmantashi’s ankle off the ringside! The Immortal one suddenly comes alive with a furious roar of pain, hands swiping out at Summers trying to stop Summers but getting nothing. Summers slams the ankle into the ring post again, and again and again and again until the ref’s count reaches four, and Summers holds up his hands. The ref stops giving Snowmantashi a chance to hold his ankle in agony...but with the count stopped, Summers reaces back under the bottom rope, grabs the ankle and goes back to work! He adds one more shot, then contorts the ankle around the unforgiving steel-It’s sickening but despite Snowmantashi’s deep shouts of pain, it’s not a legal submission, and the ref again has to count Summers out! In the break, the ref tries to get Summers back in the ring with a count, but Summers just rolls in and out again and goes right back to hammering Snowmantashi’s ankle off the post! At this point it’s getting uncomfortable to watch

    Jim Taylor: “Aw, come on ref! Get in there! We’re getting to the point where we might have to call this to save Snowmantashi’s career!"

    Tim Coleman: “I think that’s exactly what Summers wants. When you go against Kaiju. You have to treat him like you’re fighting a zombie. Double-tap."

    The ring post greets Snowmantashi’s ankle three more times before Summers re-enters the ring to stop any kind of count. Snowmantashi is a wreck, the big man has his hands wrapped around his ankle, his face soaked in sweat from the pain he’s been through. He’s trying to stand up, swinging at Summers, but ankle might be shattered at this point, and if it isn’t now it might be now as Summers drags him away from the ropes and applies THE BEST F’N ANKLE LOCK PERIOD! Snowmantashi is in too much pain to fight Summers as he applies the hold, and even worse, he is caught away from the ropes with his ankle in all kinds of pain, Snowmantashi despite the certain pain shooting through his body STILL refuses to give in and begins to claw along the mat with his free arm, trying to scratch his way to the ropes, determined not to tap…

    ….

    He inches close to the ropes…

    ...He reaches out….

    ...AND GRABS THE BOTTOM ROPE-

    SUMMERS DRAGS SNOWMANTASHI DEAD CENTER OF THE RING AND GRAPEVINES THE ANKLE!

    Snowmantashi’s legendary tolerance for pain is being tested, and his face shows the apparent anguish he’s going through...and has his hand raised out, with Summers pulling back even further again, causing more distress...and Snowmantashi looks to be on the verge...THE HAND IS COMING DOWN...BUT SNOWMANTASHI PUSHES HIMSELF OVER, ROLLING HIMSELF OVER AND ACTUALLY GETS SUMMER IN A PINNING COMBINATION 1...2…..

    SUMMERS MANAGES TO ROLL OVER, AND THE ANKLE IS STILL GRAPEVINED!!!

    Was that the last roll of the dice for the immortal one? The pain now appears to be just too excruciating for Snowmantashi to handle...the ankle is surely ripped to shreds now…he yells out once more and reaches out once more...but he’s nowhere near the ropes. Summers continues to wrench the ankle YELLING at Snowmantashi to tap with the fans on their feet, stunned at what they’re seeing….

    The hands raises up…...but turns into a fist as Snowmantashi punches the ground, roaring out…covering his face with his free hand...but after a moment, the struggling stops and Snowmantashi grows still. The ref checks him...AND WAVES IT OFF. HE’S OUT! HE’S OUT! SNOWMANTASHI REFUSED TO TAP AND PASSED OUT TO THE PAIN!
    Result: Shawn Summers by referee stoppage at 18.02.

    Jim Taylor: "What... what did we just see?!"

    Shawn Summers roles away from Jon Snowmantashi, and it seems that Der Basterd can barely believe what he's just accomplished, either...

    Lindsay Monaghan: "Here is your winner... SHAWN SUMMERS!!"

    Summers gets to his feet slowly, and snatches his hand away from the official as soon as he tries to lift it in victory. The referee instead decides to focus on Snowmantashi and, along with Jon Duncan, the two check on the kaiju's condition.

    Tim Coleman: "We just saw something historic!! Shawn Summers defeats the kaiju... with Snowmantashi unable to answer the referee! He refused to tap, but Summers just went ahead and choked him out!"

    Summers has climbed up onto the second turnbuckle and, in a display of confidence, draws the line of an invisible championship belt around his waist. There are moderate cheers amongst the Vanuatu crowd...

    Jim Taylor: "Shawn Summers has enamoured himself to these CWA fans somewhat throughout the Gold Rush tournament, and now he only has one match between him and the CWA World Heavyweight Championship..."

    Tim Coleman: "And it's almost time to find out who will join him in that final: will it be Krash, or will it be Cyrus Truth..."

    Jim Taylor: "But first... this!"


    We fade away.

    *****

    We open up in what looks like a tiki bar inside a beach hut. The camera is pointed at a familiar man, wearing a Hawaiian-style shirt unbuttoned most of the way down to reveal a thick matting of chest hair. He has a smile on his face, and is leant forward with his forearms on the table. A mojito sits in front of him, a straw and a plastic umbrella in the top of it amongst a half-dozen ice cubes.

    The man is Noah Hanson, and he looks - as always - rather pleased with himself.

    Noah Hanson: "Ladies and gentlemen, you have heard about this ever since 'South Pacific' was first announced, way back in the Spring. It's been quite the ride, hasn't it? What a Gold Rush tournament we had! The thrills... the spills... and here we are, at the grand finale under the blistering sun! I can think of no way better to finish this story..."

    He takes a long, thoughtful sip of his cocktail before continuing.

    Noah Hanson: "I promised you an announcement, and those amongst you that know me will know that I am, of course, a man of my word. But you didn't expect just me, did you? No... as soon as I told the world that I'd have a big announcement for it at South Pacific, I promised to bring a couple of special guests along with me..."

    The camera pans out to reveal... the FWA World Tag Team Champions, "Rockstar" Randy Ramon and "The Rotten Gold" Devin Golden!! The two affect a casual air, and a loud boo emanates from the beach as the audience there watches on a screen.

    Noah Hanson: "Of course, my guests are privy to what I am about to say, and this announcement comes with the endorsement of my close, personal friend Rupert Watkins, as well. You know who I'm talking about: the FWA Fallout executive. He and I had a series of protracted meetings in Ireland and in Denmark, and it is my pleasure to announce the forthcoming "ELITE TAG TEAM CLASS: vol. 2"..."

    Hanson pauses to allow the announcement to sink in, and there seems to be enthusiasm back at the beach...

    Noah Hanson: "But, I hear you say... that is an FWA tournament?! Well, the forbidden door is open, ladies and gentlemen! For this year, thirty-two teams will enter the second edition of this tournament: sixteen in an FWA bracket, and sixteen in a CWA + INDEPENDENT bracket. Full details of the tournament will be released in due course through the proper channels, but this winter extravaganza of tag team wrestling will conclude on February 19th, at CWA's I Left My Wallet in El Segundo event..."

    More cheers from the beach, this time aimed at the suggested return of CWA action.

    Noah Hanson: "And the prize? Well, the winner can choose which world tag team championships the wish to challenge for... or, if they already have a set? Well, history is about to be made..."

    Noah looks over at Golden Rock, who are listening to him patiently.

    Noah Hanson: "Boys..."

    "The Golden One" Devin Golden: It's quite simple. We already have the FWA Tag Team Championships. If we win this, we could go for the CWA Tag Team Championships.

    Ramon makes a sideways glance at him, as if he wasn't quite anticipating this answer. What was he to answer instead? Is Ramon angling for a match with a specific team?

    "The Golden One" Devin Golden: We are in Game 7 mode. All the time. But how amazing would it be for us to expand? How legendary and historic would it be for us to unify the tag team championships and never again have to listen to anyone talk about being the CWA Tag Team Champions? I think it's about time those went to the retirement bin, and we're the team to do it.

    Golden smiles.

    "The Golden One" Devin Golden: There's only one option even remotely close to as appealing ... and, well, it's something Ramon has mentioned. So I'm not going to spoil anything right this second. At least not speak for him.

    Golden leaves it at that as Ramon looks up and smiles.

    "Rockstar" Randy Ramon: Round 5.

    The vagueness is left there as Ramon gets up and walks off, joined by Golden and the FWA Tag Team Championship belts. Hanson smiles at the camera as we fade out...

    “THE ELITE TAG TEAM CLASSIC: vol. 2"
    December 2021-February 2022
    [single-promo for each bracket, single-promo for grand final. two promos total for win. no word limit. window for promos will be the whole of November. sign-up via PM to me!]

    PRIZE:
    Winner can choose between:
    1. A shot at the FWA World Tag Team Championships at a time to be determined.
    2. A shot at the CWA World Tag Team Championships at a time to be determined.
    If the winner is already CWA/FWA champion:
    3. A defense against an opponent of their choosing at a time to be determined.
    4. A unification match for the championships at a time to be determined.

    !! The belts will NOT be on the line in the tournament itself. !!


    Teams will be divided into two brackets: the CWA + INDEPENDENT BRACKET and the FWA BRACKET. Each bracket will feature sixteen teams. This number will be reached through non-promo teams in the extended universe.

    Matches will take place through a combination of house show or independent show recap posts, or on full shows. This is detailed in full below.

    CONFIRMED ENTRANTS:

    CWA + INDEPENDENT BRACKET:
    CWA World Tag Team Champions The Gang Stars.
    The Division.
    The Echo.
    The DiMiaco Brothers.
    The Undisputed Alliance.

    The Diamond Dogs.
    Murder, Inc.
    DJPW World Tag Team Champions The Tokyo Godfathers [Isao Ōishi and Kenichi Iwao]
    BWW Tag Team Champions The Balinese Decepticons.
    PWC Tag Team Champions Fox Hound.

    FWA BRACKET:
    FWA World Tag Team Champions Golden Rock.
    Uncle J.J. JAY! + an Unanounced Nephew.
    The Grayson and von Horrowitz Connection.
    The Brethren.
    Legends Evolved.

    The Alchemists [Boston Elric and Wesley Elric] (GZS3).
    Eye of the Beholder [Bobby Fettlewhittick and Charisma Trent] (GZS3).
    Captain Fantasy and Fantasy Girl.
    The Men Out Of Time [Stu Grimes and Cornelius Aurelius Caesar].

    TOURNAMENT OUTLINE:

    - CWA + INDEPENDENT BRACKET -
    Preliminary rounds to take place on
    Pro-Wrestling Chimpanzee [PWC]: "Gorilla Warfare" [Long Beach, California - December 1st]
    SoCal War & Wrestling [SCWW]: "Winter Sun" [Santa Monica, California - December 3rd]
    Xtreme Championship Wrestling [XCW]: "Barbarism Begins at Home" [Vancouver, British Columbia - December 6th]
    Black Widow Wrestling [BWW]: "Recreational Use" [Edmonton, Alberta - December 10th]

    Quarter-final stage to take place on
    CWA: "CITY LIGHTS" [Seattle, Washington - December 18th]

    Semi-final and final stages to take place on
    CWA: "MODERN TIMES" [Portland, Oregon - January 15th]

    - FWA BRACKET -
    Preliminary rounds to take place on
    FWA "Pacific North-West House Show Tour"
    "Unnamed December 26th Warehouse Show"

    Quarter-final, semi-final, and final stages to take place on
    "Unnamed January 2nd Warehouse Show"
    "Fallout 010" [January 14th]

    FINAL
    CWA + INDEPENDENT BRACKET WINNERS vs. FWA BRACKET WINNERS
    @ CWA: "I Left My Wallet in El Segundo".
    El Segundo, LA, California.
    February 19th, 2022.
    *****

    We return to the beach after the announcement for...

    Back in Town | Matt Dusk.
    Spoiler:

    A huge cheer is heard as The White Wolf walks out onto the stage, his CWA World Tag Team Championship on his shoulder. He has a smile on his face and nods his head at the cheering CWA fans before beginning his walk towards the ring.

    Jim Taylor: "Well, Krash is affecting a casual air here tonight, but the daunting nature of his task surely hasn't escaped him..."

    Tim Coleman: "Of course not, Jim, but he won't want to show weakness before the first match has even begun! But you're right, if Krash wants to walk out of here with two championship belts tonight, he needs to win a total of three matches. In one night. It's just not a realistic expectation..."

    Jim Taylor: "Well, Krash defies expectations at every turn. He had an up and down Gold Rush, finishing on six points and edging Chubby Carlos out of contention here on finals night. But Krash hasn't really been able to get momentum going overall, with a stop-start approach to his win-loss record. There'll be no room for error tonight, though..."

    Tim Coleman: "That's right: it's lose and be eliminated from here on in the Gold Rush..."


    Krash rolls under the bottom rope and stands in a corner with his championship belt. He paces slightly as his music fades, quickly replaced by...

    Subconscious Entry Version | Julia Claris.
    Spoiler:

    Another huge reaction, overwhelmingly positive, this time for The Exile. He walks out onto the stage with a focussed expression on his face, and he looks down the ramp and Krash before beginning his own stride towards the match...

    Jim Taylor: "Would you listen to this reaction?! Both of these men are incredibly popular figures here in the CWA, and I'm sure most in attendance would agree that it's a shame only one can make the final... but that's the way it's worked out, and Cyrus Truth must put an end to Krash's hopes if he's to realise his own dream of once again claiming the CWA World Heavyweight Championship..."

    Tim Coleman: "And he went about his business in ruthless fashion in the pool stages, winning his first four matches and securing his place here, as pool winner, before we even got to Vladivostok for Night Five. Humanity, Nate Savage, Christopher Jackson, and Jonathan McGinnis all fell before the Wayward Warrior, before Shawn Summers gave Truth his only defeat of the tournament so far..."

    Jim Taylor: "Truth has made his intentions clear in this tournament. As soon as the world title was mentioned, his focus sharpened. Now that the championship is on the line tonight in Vanuatu? Cyrus Truth will have only one thing on his mind..."

    Truth has climbed into the ring, and stands across it from Krash. Lindsay Monaghan takes up a position in-between them.

    Lindsay Monaghan: “Ladies and gentlemen, the following is a Gold Rush semi-final match scheduled for one-fall, and with a twenty minute time limit… Introducing first, in the corner to my right: from Melbourne, Australia… he weighs in tonight at two hundred and five pounds… he is a Wrestle Royale winner, a Five-Star Attraction Tournament winner, a CWA High Voltage Champion, a four-time - and current, reigning! - CWA World Tag Team Champion, a two-time CWA World Heavyweight Champion… he is ‘The White Wolf’... HE… IS… KRASH!”

    Another cheer for Krash, the beach coming alive as Monaghan runs through his accomplishments. Krash lifts his hands to thank them for the ovation, suggesting that it really is too much

    Lindsay Monaghan: “And his opponent… he weighs in at two hundred and twenty seven pounds… from The Long and Winding Road… he is a two-time CWA World Heavyweight Champion… ‘The Exile’... CYRUS TRUTH!!”
    .
    Truth silently loosens his joints and stares at Krash. Monaghan vacates the ring, the official issuing some final instructions and completing his last checks... then, at last, he calls for the bell...

    Match Two.
    Gold Rush Tournament: Semi-Final Match.
    KRASH vs. CYRUS TRUTH.
    (1/30)

    Krash and Cyrus Truth, two names essentially synonymous with the Clique Wrestling Alliance, standing opposite from each other in the ring as the night - CWA’s second full pay-per-view since its partial re-birth - gets underway. The few hundred fortunate enough to be in the audience, amped up and adequately fluffed by the pre-show and specifically the epic battle royale, are now braying for more action, most of them on their feet and engaged in a ‘LET’S GO KRASH!’/’CY-RUS TRUTH!’ duelling chant. Cyrus Truth nods his head approvingly. Krash simply stares at him from across the ring, steeling himself with hard eyes. And then, the two come together…

    Jim Taylor: “Here we go, ladies and gentlemen!”

    Tim Coleman:
    “A Five-Star Attraction main event rematch… and let’s hope we get a proper finish this time…”

    Jim Taylor:
    “I’m sure that’s what everybody, including the two men in the ring, would want…”
    Krash offers a hand out to Cyrus for a test of strength, and Truth reciprocates before offering the second hand. Krash takes this, and then the two struggle against one another in the middle of the ring. It looks like Truth is the stronger of the two, and he begins to back Krash up into the corner. Eventually, the White Wolf is stood with his back against the turnbuckles, and the official comes in to enforce a break. Cyrus adheres… and the break is clean. The audience gives the two competitors a polite round of applause as they begin to circle the ring again.

    It looks as though this time it’s to be a collar and elbow tie-up, but instead Cyrus picks Krash’s arm and moves behind into a hammer lock. He wrenches at the joint, but Krash fires back with some hard elbows into the side of The Exile’s head. On the fourth such elbow attempt, Cyrus ducks and releases the hammer lock, and Krash’s momentum has him turned and facing Cyrus, who instantly takes Krash into a bearhug… and then a belly-to-belly suplex! Cyrus doesn’t go for a cover, instead turning Krash onto his front… and re-applying his hammer lock!

    Krash seems to struggle in the hold initially, but eventually he is able to wriggle himself so that he is in a seated position. Truth maneuvres out of the hammer lock, forcing his knee into the top of the White Wolf’s back and pulling his arms back either side of him. Truth wrenches at the hold for a moment, and then forces Krash back down face-first onto the mat, and into a bow and arrow stretch!

    Jim Taylor:
    “Cyrus Truth just man-handling Krash right here, cycling through submissions and picking the White Wolf apart…”

    The official is close to Krash, asking if he wants to give it up, but the White Wolf (rather obviously) shakes his head to the contrary. Cyrus manipulates him into a reverse chin lock, before once more dragging him down to the mat… and then applying a surfboard! He stands on the back of the White Wolf’s legs and slaps his back to get him to give up his arms. He takes Krash by the wrists… one rock… two rock… and he pulls Krash up and over on the third! The White Wolf is contorted horribly by Cyrus Truth and the surfboard stretch!!

    Tim Coleman:
    “Folded up like a pretzel!! Krash doesn’t look particularly comfortable…”

    Jim Taylor:
    “I think that’s the point… the White Wolf finds himself in a desperate position… and look at this! Cyrus releases Krash’s arms, and takes him by the neck instead, contorting the tag champion even further!!”

    For a moment, Krash has to scream out in agony, but the hold is at too much of an angle for Cyrus to hold it in for too long, and soon enough the surfboard collapses. Krash tries to roll towards the ropes and some respite… and now it looks like Truth is going for an STO! The White Wolf scrambles with all his might… and is eventually able to hook an arm onto the bottom rope before the hold is fully locked in! The official enforces the break, and immediately Krash rolls under the bottom rope to cause separation and catch his breath…

    Jim Taylor:
    “Well, Krash does indeed finally manage to get away from Truth, but who can say how much of an effect that will have had on the White Wolf at the start of this match?”

    Tim Coleman:
    “Both physically and mentally, Jim… but Cyrus isn’t content to let this issue lie. He’s following Krash onto the outside!”

    Krash is facing the opposite way to Cyrus when he reaches him, and Truth gives him a clubbing blow to the small of the back. Truth takes Krash by the wrist, and then gives him a hard Irish whip into the barricade. The White Wolf is across the barricade when Truth approaches, the Wayward Warrior proceeding to unload with alternating forearm strikes and knife-edge chops. It looks like Krash might be out on his feet, but surprisingly he’s able to block one of the forearm strikes… and then Krash fights back with a European uppercut! A second backs Truth up onto the ring apron, and Krash takes him by the hand… Irish whip into the steel ring post!

    Jim Taylor:
    “A desperation move from Krash, there… but he had to do SOMEthing!”

    Tim Coleman:
    “I’m not sure if he can follow up, at least not straight away…”

    Indeed, the White Wolf spends a few moments lamenting the network of aches that are running around his body, wincing and groaning and limping slightly. Eventually, he is able to refocus on Cyrus, and he lifts him up to his feet and rolls him back into the ring. Krash climbs onto the apron but then heads straight up to the top rope. Truth is getting to his feet just as Krash steadies himself up on the top rope… and then leaps off with a cross-body! He connects with Truth, and lands in a lateral press…

    ONE… TWO… NO!

    Truth kicks out!

    Contrary to the tactics employed by Cyrus, Krash lifts Truth up to his feet immediately and backs him into the ropes, throwing him into the opposite set and attempting a clothesline upon reapproach. Krash ducks it and Truth hits the ropes again, and this time the White Wolf has to leapfrog over The Exile, who hits the ropes one more time… and then eats a standing dropkick! Krash hits the move and sends Truth to the mat! Both are immediately up to their feet, and Truth stumbles towards Krash. Cyrus attempts a big forearm strike, but Krash ducks beneath it… and then hits an atomic drop! The White Wolf hits the ropes…

    Jim Taylor:
    “SPEAR!! Krash connects!!”

    Tim Coleman:
    “He hooks the far leg…”

    ONE… TWO… NO!

    Cyrus gets out of it once more…

    Truth is lifted to his feet by Krash again, who this time backs him up into the corner with a series of knife-edge chops. The White Wolf attempts to whip him into the opposite set of turnbuckles, but Truth ducks it and sends Krash into the corner instead. Truth charges in for a clothesline in the corner, but Krash ducks it and back body drops Cyrus up and over onto the apron. Truth keeps his balance… but is clocked by a forearm strike! Truth hits the apron and then lands on his feet on the outside…

    Jim Taylor:
    “And look at this… Krash keeps the pace up, he hits the ropes… SUICIDE DIVE!!”

    Tim Coleman:
    “Krash lands on his feet… and just LISTEN to this audience!”

    Jim Taylor:
    “But the White Wolf isn’t done there… the CWA Tag Team Champion is perpetual motion!! He slides into the ring, hits the ropes again… SUICIDE DIVE!!”

    Tim Coleman:
    “Times two!!”

    Krash pumps his fist to get the audience even more worked up, and then re-focuses on the downed Truth. He lifts Cyrus up to his feet… boot to the midsection… DDT! On the outside!! Now Krash rolls Cyrus into the ring, and he hooks a leg…

    ONE… TWO… T -- NO!

    Truth with the shoulder up! And Krash transitions directly into a grounded headlock…

    Jim Taylor:
    “Looks like Krash wants to slow things down a little bit now, looking to grind Truth down with a submission…”

    Tim Coleman:
    “I’m not surprised! That flourish of offence is enough for ANYONE’s gas tank… even the White Wolf’s!”

    The audience are cheering, and the half that is loyal to Truth does its best to get their man up to his feet. Cyrus is first up to a knee, and then he manages to force himself up to a vertical base. He reels of a trio of elbows into Krash’s gut, but the White Wolf obstinately keeps the move locked in. Truth backs Krash up into the ropes… and then flings him off into the opposite set, thus removing himself from the hold. Krash hits the ropes, and Truth goes for a BIG discuss punch… NO! Krash is able to duck beneath it and keep moving. He hits the ropes again… hip toss attempt by Truth… no! Krash plants his feet and shifts his position, going for a hip toss of his own… Truth plants his feet this time… and then delivers an arm drag to Krash!

    Krash fights back up to his feet, but Truth is instantly on him with a boot to the midsection… and then he lifts the White Wolf up into a fireman’s carry…

    Jim Taylor:
    “Is Cyrus looking for Journey’s End here?! Trying to end this one just as we’re getting going…”

    Tim Coleman:
    “Krash senses the peril, kicking his legs and driving his elbow into the side of Truth’s head… and Truth is forced to drop him…”

    Krash lands behind Truth and hits the ropes… Cyrus turns around and notices that the White Wolf is going for a second spear… and reverses by lifting a big knee! Right into the chops!!

    Jim Taylor:
    “Krash perhaps going to the same well too often, there… Truth had that one well-scouted...”

    Tim Coleman:
    “And now Cyrus applies a clawhold… into an STO! He calls that combination Memento Mori!”

    Jim Taylor:
    “Truth hooks both legs…”

    ONE… TWO… T - - NO!!

    Krash kicks out!

    But the momentum of the kick out has Krash on his side, and immediately Cyrus Truth locks on his Crucifix Neck Crank!!

    Jim Taylor:
    “The White Wolf is stranded in the middle of the ring! Truth is looking to tap him out with The Long Road to Nowhere!”

    Krash senses his danger, and begins to try and break out of the hold with hard elbows to Truth’s side. Cyrus holds on, though, and further wrenches at the submission…

    Tim Coleman:
    “Krash senses he’s in great peril… I’ve lost count of the number of CWA matches that Truth has won with this hold…”

    The referee is in close, checking on Krash’s condition. He asks him verbally if he wants to submit, but the White Wolf ignores the question entirely, instead continuing to fire elbows limply at Truth. Each one has less force than the last…

    Jim Taylor:
    “I think he’s fading, Tim! There isn’t much force left in those elbow strikes!”

    The audience is split, the half that is loyal to Truth cheering his efforts to finish Krash off, whilst those who are for the White Wolf try to encourage him towards the ropes…

    Tim Coleman:
    “I think the official’s gonna check him, Jim! This could be over!”

    Indeed he is… the referee lifts Krash’s arm up, and allows it to fall to the mat…

    … and the White Wolf lives yet! He resists gravity, clenches his fist, and his fanbase roars into voice. He uses the adrenaline to fire two hard elbows backwards at Truth, and then roll his weight over him and to the other side… which allows him to hook his legs onto the bottom rope! The official enforces the break, and Truth reluctantly relents…

    He gets to his feet, and Krash is slow to make his way to his. He uses the ropes for support as he ascends, and tries to shake away some cobwebs whilst he does so. Afterwards, he turns towards Cyrus Truth… who immediately picks him up into an Argentinian rack…

    Jim Taylor:
    “Exile’s Edge!! Cyrus Truth continues the onslaught on Krash’s neck with the neckbreaker…”

    Tim Coleman:
    “And he follows up with a pinfall attempt…”

    ONE… TWO… THR - - NO!

    Kick out from Krash!

    Truth takes his time in lifting Krash to his feet, and when he’s up he begins to work him with some forearms, backing him up into the ropes. He Irish whips him into the opposite set… and then goes for an elbow smash upon reapproach. The White Wolf is able to duck it, and hits the ropes again. Truth ducks down, as if he’s going for a back body drop, but Krash telegraphs it and lifts a boot up into his face and chest! Truth staggers back towards the ropes, and Krash charges at him… clothesline over the top rope, to the outside!!

    Jim Taylor:
    “An ugly there for Truth, who hits the apron and then rolls down onto the mat…”

    Tim Coleman:
    “But Krash can’t follow up! He’s spent! He just collapses into a heap on the inside of the ring…”

    Jim Taylor:
    “But, if nothing else, it gives the White Wolf time to recuperate. He’s been the victim of Cyrus Truth’s relentlessness so far in this one…”

    Truth slowly begins to stir when the official is on four, climbing back to his feet as Krash does precisely the same in the ring. Truth slides under the bottom rope, and Krash is on him immediately with a trio of stomps. Truth does his best to guard himself, but Krash lifts him to his feet and hits a quartet of knife edge chops. He looks to whip Truth into the corner… no! Reversal by Truth! He sends Krash into the turnbuckles instead. Truth weighs up his next move… and then charges in at the White Wolf, going for a corner spear…

    Jim Taylor:
    “Krash leaps out of the way at the last moment! Truth’s momentum takes him shoulder-first into the steel ring post!!”

    Tim Coleman:
    “And the White Wolf rolls him up with a schoolboy!”

    ONE… TWO… TH - - NO!!

    Truth kicks out!

    Both men are quick to their feet, and Krash tries to hit a quick enziguri… Cyrus ducks underneath the kick, and then as the White Wolf turns to face him again Truth connects with a mule kick. Krash is doubled over, and Truth has him up on his shoulders again in a fireman’s carry….

    Jim Taylor:
    “Truth wants Journey’s End! He’s going for it again!”

    Krash kicks his legs so much that Truth loses his balance and stumbles to the side of the ring. The White Wolf grabs the top rope and pulls himself out of the fireman’s carry, managing to land on the ring apron. Truth spots him and goes for a discus punch… blocked by Krash… who then pulls Truth down throat-first over the top rope…

    Tim Coleman:
    “Cyrus stumbles into the middle of the ring… springboard from Krash… HURRICANRANA!!”

    Jim Taylor:
    “Truth gets to his feet almost immediately… but he looks staggered…”

    Tim Coleman:
    “And Krash tees him up again…”

    Jim Taylor:
    “ONE-HIT KILL!! Running knee from Krash!”

    Tim Coleman:
    “Pin him!”

    Krash has other ideas, though, and after taking some deep, laboured breaths in the corner, he watches on as Cyrus Truth slowly gets up to his feet…

    He boots Cyrus in the midsection and then applies a front facelock…

    Jim Taylor:
    “Trapped DDT!!”

    Tim Coleman:
    “... into a Guillotine Chokehold!!”

    Jim Taylor:
    “DISCORDANT SERENITY! It’s cinched in deep!!”

    The roles are reversed from earlier in the match, and now it’s the Cyrus-portion of the small crowd that finds their voice. They are cheering for their hero, who is doing his best to maneuver himself into a position where he can hook a leg onto a rope…

    Jim Taylor:
    “The look on Krash’s face!! He’s wrenching hard at this hold, sensing that this could be HIS time… HIS night!!”

    The official is again in close, asking Cyrus this time if he intends to submit. We can hear Truth verbally refuse, and inch closer and closer to the ropes...

    Tim Coleman:
    “But Truth isn’t going to give up without a fight! We know how much the CWA World Heavyweight Championship means to this man… to BOTH of these men!!”

    Truth is close to the ropes… only for Krash to roll him over and back into the middle of the ring! The guillotine chokehold is firmly in place, and the official is still in close waiting for a decision from Cyrus…

    Jim Taylor:
    “It looks like he’s fading, Tim! Truth has almost stopped struggling, here…”

    The official comes in close, and lifts up one of Truth’s arm… he lets it go…

    NO! This time it’s Truth that resists gravity’s effects, and he begins to wriggle and writhe again, inching closer and closer and closer to the ropes…

    Tim Coleman:
    “He’s almost there!!”

    Krash rolls back into the middle of the ring again!!

    Truth fades again…

    He refuses to tap verbally once more, but his voice is low and remote…

    The official lifts his arm again… he drops it…

    And it hits the mat!!

    Jim Taylor:
    “It’s over!! Truth is out!!”
    Result: Krash wins via referee stoppage at 19.42.

    Tim Coleman:
    "Wow! An almost mirror finish of our first match-up here tonight!"

    Krash relinquishes his hold as soon as the bell is rung, and rolls onto his back. It is clear that the timer ticked a little longer on this match than he'd hoped, and he sucks in some oxygen before finally getting to his feet...

    Lindsay Monaghan:
    "Ladies and gentlemen... here is your winner... KRASH!!"

    Jim Taylor:
    "And that means that Krash will wrestle in not two... but THREE matches here tonight in Vanuatu! The final of the Gold Rush tournament against Shawn Summers... and then IMMEDIATELY AFTER he'll find himself competing in our main event!"

    Tim Coleman:
    "If I was the Division, I'd be licking my lips right now!!"

    Krash lets the official lift his hand in victory, and is then handed his CWA World Tag Team Championship. He climbs up to the second turnbuckle and displays its gold plating for the audience...

    Jim Taylor:
    "And that's what the main event will be all about... but the Gold Rush tournament carries with it a very different prize. And it's not one that we expected to be on the line tonight, as we've already discussed..."

    The camera cuts to a view of the commentators after Krash has left the ring, and Taylor and Coleman continue to discuss the tournament.

    Tim Coleman:
    "And with only one match - our grand final - remaining in the Gold Rush tournament... what better time to take a look back over the pool stages?"

    Jim Taylor:
    "That's what we're going to do right now, Tim! In the form of the top five moments of the Gold Rush, as voted for by YOU, the CWA viewer, via CWA.com!"

    *****

    5.
    Jonathan McGinnis' colourful Gold Rush entrances.
    From Night Three:
    Spoiler:

    We return to the arena in time for…

    “Blessings” | Big Sean.
    Spoiler:

    There’s a positive reaction for Jonathan McGinnis’ music, but the first people to emerge onto the stage aren’t The Indy God… instead, two women in bright blue leotards walk out and take up positions in opposite corners of the stage next to an open flame. They pick up three torches from next to each pit and ignite the ends, and then start to rhythmically juggle them high above their heads…

    Jim Taylor: “A little bit of pageantry here from Jonathan McGinnis!”

    We notice that the trapeze artists have reappeared overhead, and they are somersaulting between trapezes high above the audience. On the stage, the two jugglers have begun to cycle the flaming torches between each other, causing high arcs to form in the flames as the projectiles go on their trajectory. A half-dozen gymnasts appear from the entrance and proceed to cart-wheel and backflip across the stage, before contorting themselves into the positions required to communally create a giant ‘M’.

    Tim Coleman: “More than ‘a little bit’, Jim!”

    Finally, as his music hits its first chorus, Jonathan McGinnis appears… on the back of a circus elephant! The Russian audience is lapping up a little bit of casual animal abuse, and The Indy God has a huge smile on his face. The jugglers have begun to throw their torches individually again to allow McGinnis to pass. He rides his pachyderm all the way down the ramp, pausing at the bottom to dismount and pat the beast on the trunk…

    Jim Taylor: “What an entrance!!”

    McGinnis climbs into the ring as the elephant’s handlers lead him unhappily back up the ramp towards his cage, the jugglers extinguishing their torches and the gymnasts somersaulting out of view. McGinnis climbs to the second rope and beats his chest, before lifting his hands high in the air. The audience gives him another round of applause as his music fades out and he hops back into the center of the ring…
    From Night Five:
    Spoiler:

    And then the music starts:

    ”Swan Theme” | Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky.
    Spoiler:

    The curtain pulls back, and on the stage there are sixteen Russian ballet dancers. They are all exquisitely dressed: the women in cocktail dresses of red and white and blue, and the men in sharp suits. Seven of the men are dressed in black, but the finest and most handsome of them - who steps up to the forefront as the music REALLY begins to swell - is all in white. On his chest are medals won from war service, and his hair is finely-styled and a brilliant blond. He dances with the tallest and most beautiful of the women, and whilst most of the others pirouette and arabesque and whatever else around the stage freely, he stays within reach of two of the other males: shorter and squatter and less comely than the rest, but clearly in high regard according to the man in white.

    After he picks his girl up by her thighs and holds her high above his head, exerting strength and grace by keeping her in place before dropping her, catching her, holding her low towards the ground… she steps away from him, the two men at his side hoisting him up and placing him into the ring. He dances between the ropes and into the centre of it, the spotlight finding him as the music builds through its final crescendo. The woman slides into the ring, dancing before him, before the orchestra - live in the pit beneath the stage - fades out into more gentle, melancholic notes.

    The spotlight illuminates his fine figure as he looms above the woman, kneeling before him…

    ”Danse des coups” | Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky.
    Spoiler:

    The spotlight on the couple - DER BASTERD and his girl - in the ring fades out, but they are still visible in the dim. Around the ring, the stage is brightly illuminated, and the fourteen remaining dancers - paired up and regal - continue their synchronised dance around the ring. Eventually, seven more arrive, much more plainly dressed - in ripped clothes reminiscent of the garb of the proletariat. They dance in an ungainly but still rhythmic manner, but it is clear that the more well to-do performers think less of them than they do of each other. Soon enough, the new arrivals have taken up crouching positions on all fours, doing their best to reach out and touch the ankles of their superiors, forever just out of reach, dancing on by… Afterwards, more servants dance out with food that is placed onto the backs of the proles, the finely dressed dancers eating off them as the music stirs and quickens…

    Finally, one more man arrives. He is tall, but also fat, and his shirt barely covers his belly. He yawns and stumbles into the middle of the stage, clearly some sort of comic relief. His hair is long and ragged and falls in tangles to his shoulders. He looks down from the stage at Humanity, who has been watching the whole affair from the front row, and scrubs at his eyes as if he’s peering into a mirror. Then, the performer begins an inelegant dance around the stage, falling with style into the well to-do dancers as well as the peasant furniture and servants. He collects a glass of wine and downs it before leaping up and over the steel steps, landing with a thud on his behind…

    ”Moderato assai quasi andante” | Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky.
    Spoiler:

    Eventually, the two shorter, swarthier dancers - still well-dressed but slightly more out of place than the dozen that they entered with - manage to corner this drunkard interloper, and he has nowhere to go but into the ring. DER BASTERD, in his fine white clothes, has silently been circling the young woman as the scene continued around him… as if a predator toying with his prey…

    But immediately, he looks up from the young woman and to the drunk man that has just rolled into the ring. Around the girl the two men dance, the man in white’s movements elegant but deceitful, the drunk’s inelegant, clumsy, but somehow raw and real. All the while, the woman kneels passively before them… until eventually DER BASTERD has the drunk man cornered, seated in the ring, his head against the turnbuckle, unable to look away as his counterpart approaches…

    ”Waltz of the Flower” | Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky.
    Spoiler:

    When the music shifts again, the spotlights flicker on and off, and those that are already dancing on the stage look about themselves in confusion. They still move fluidly and elegantly (or at least those that are playing the role of the upper classes), but now there is an unknown and permeating sense of urgency to their movements. Those serving food and drinks, and those playing the roles of tables for the rich, begin to ready themselves, sliding props away from the ring as if to give themselves room…

    As the music rumbles, a large tank begins to roll out onto the stage. It is not a real tank, of course, but it certainly looks the part. Either side of it, soldiers march out onto the stage as well, and at their head are two particularly pretty soldiers with long hair and camouflaged hotpants. Immediately, as they appear, the more unseemly dancers already on the stage begin to dance in the general direction of the comely ones, who are quickly overwhelmed, and bid their retreat…

    The two soldiers at the head of the columns roll into the ring, and after engaging under the spotlight briefly with the drunk and DER BASTERD - who for the time-being at least seem to have put aside their differences - they comically lay the pair out with dual arabesques-into--superkicks…

    As the soldiers and the proletariat dance around the ring, the curtains pull over half-way again: they are now heavier and redder and emblazoned with a gold hammer and sickle. The sides of the prop tank begin to fall away, and standing in the middle of them is Jonathan McGinnis. He is wearing a long, dark green coat in old Soviet Style, as well as a matching hat at an angle on his head. He has sunglasses on, and a toothpick in his mouth to complete what is most certainly a look…

    The music swells for a final time, McGinnis walking up the steps and into the ring, the two soldiers in hot pants dancing around him as he stands in the middle of it. Around the ring, the thirty or so dancers that have overthrown the bourgeoisie revel in the moment, a final crescendo before the orchestra suddenly stops…

    McGinnis stands amongst it for a moment. There’s a wild smile on his face…

    And then come the boos…

    4.
    MvH and Snowmantashi go 20 minutes.
    From Night Four:
    Spoiler:

    And then Snowmantashi reaches down and grabs Michelle in a double choke, still standing on the second rope, and lifts her back into a seated position on the top turnbuckle! He rocks her with a headbutt and then puts her in a double underhook…

    Jim Taylor: “Double underhook suplex! From the second rope!"

    Michelle flies across the ring and lands in a heap, and - after taking a moment to suck in some oxygen - Snowmantashi walks over to her for a lateral press…

    ONE… TWO… T - - NO!

    Snowmantashi is up onto his knees, looking at Michelle and weighing up his next move… and then he decides it’s time for this to end. He lifts Michelle up and into a fireman’s carry, staring down the camera as he prepares for the Hailstorm… but MvH starts to fight out! She’s kicking out with her legs and again driving the point of her elbow into JS’s head… and he’s forced to drop her! She lands in a front face lock… double-underhook DDT! Michelle hooks a leg!

    ONE… TWO… NO!

    Snowmantashi gets his shoulder up, and again Michelle goes straight for the ankle, looking for the ankle lock. The kaiju kicks out at her again, and one catches her flush in the face. She’s forced to release, and JS gets to his feet. He charges in for a clothesline, which she ducks…

    Jim Taylor: “SUPERKICK!!"

    Tim Coleman: “I don’t think I’ve ever seen Michelle use a superkick before?!"

    Jim Taylor: “But we’ve seen the man who has had most success against Snowmantashi down the years in Jonathan McGinnis perfect that move! And Snowmantashi is down to his knees!"

    Tim Coleman: “That was as unexpected to him as to the rest of us…"

    Snowmantashi looks dizzy, and Michelle hits the ropes behind him, nailing him with a running knee to the back of the head! She picks up his arms, and hits a Super Dragon-style curb stomp! Snowmantashi eats the mat and then rolls onto his front, allowing MvH to climb up towards the top rope…

    Jim Taylor: “And now she’s feeling it! Michelle’s going for that 450 splash…"

    This time she’s able to steady herself on the top rope, and then she leaps off… and Snowmantashi gets his knees up! Michelle bounces off them and across the ring, and Snowmantashi gets to his feet. MvH is using the corner to help herself up, and the official moves over to her, asking if she’s okay to continue. Out of the corner of her eye, Michelle sees the Mountain charging towards her corner…

    … she dives out of the way…

    … and pulls the referee into his path! The official is clattered into the corner and goes down in a heap!

    Snowmantashi rounds on Michelle, picking her up by the hair, and dominating her with a half-dozen headbutts! She is out on her feet, and Snowmantashi lifts her up into a fireman’s carry…

    Jim Taylor: “HAILSTORM!"

    Tim Coleman: “But Snowmantashi isn’t going for the cover. He knows that the referee is out…"

    Snowmantashi walks over to the corner and tugs at the referee’s shirt, not realising that Michelle is rolling out of the ring and onto the outside to escape him. After he’s content that the official is well and truly out and there’s nothing to be done, he turns around to find an empty ring. With a deep breath, he climbs out through the ropes and begins to walk around its perimeter. And, as he rounds the steel steps, he’s taken out with a HUGE chair shot! The echo sounds out over the lake as a bloody Snowmantashi is taken off his feet! Michelle is beaming ear to ear (despite simultaneously breathing heavily) and she throws the chair to the ground…

    Jim Taylor: “I think she’s not only re-opened that gash, Tim, she’s worsened it. This is not a good situation for Jon Snowmantashi!"

    Tim Coleman: “And it’s getting worse! Look at Michelle heave Snowmantashi up onto our announce table…"

    The two Russian commentators dart to get out of the way as Michelle drives forearm after forearm into the supine Snowmantashi’s skull. When she’s content, after maybe a dozen, that he’s incapacitated, she goes back to the ring and climbs up the steps. She ascends the top turnbuckle, steadying herself and looking down at the announcer’s desk below…

    Jim Taylor: “TOP ROPE ELBOW DROP!"

    Tim Coleman: “THROUGH THE TABLE!"

    The crowd lose their shit at the spot, launching into a chant of some initials… the company’s, not the wrestler’s. The camera looks at the carnage, Michelle on her knees and trying to use the barricade to help herself up. When she’s managed it, she looks into the ring, noticing the official starting to show signs of life…

    Jim Taylor: “Just in time! The official is breathing, you’ll be pleased to know, and now Michelle has the unenviable task of transporting Snowmantashi back to the ring."

    It’s difficult, and takes half a minute or more, but she manages it, and eventually she’s able to throw him under the bottom rope. She slides in too, looking over at the official, who crawls over towards Snowmantashi. Still smiling, MvH nods her head eagerly and hooks a leg…

    ONE… … TWO… … TH - - NO!

    Michelle can’t believe the kick out, but now is no time for frustration. Instead, she stands up, and climbs back up to the top rope as quickly as her fatigued legs will carry her. She stands up straight, staring down at Snowmantashi, prone and waiting…

    Jim Taylor: “450 SPLASH!!"

    Tim Coleman: “That’s gotta be it!"

    ONE… TWO… THRE - - NO!!!!

    Jim Taylor: “He kicks out again!!"

    Tim Coleman: “He’s unkillable! MvH can’t put him away…"

    Michelle is wide-eyed as she stands up, momentarily staring down at Snowmantashi’s ribcage, which slowly expands and falls as he takes in heavy breaths. She looks out at the discarded chair… at a middle turnbuckle that could be exposed… at the ring bell… but the official is up, and there’s no recourse available but for repetition…

    … she darts up to the top rope, and again hurls herself off with a second 450 splash! Jon Snowmantashi has no choice but to lie there and take it, and this time she hooks BOTH legs…

    ONE…

    BUZZ - - !!!

    Jim Taylor: “What?! It’s over?!"

    Tim Coleman: “That’s the buzzer, Jim! They’ve had twenty minutes!"

    Result: Jon Snowmantashi and Michelle von Horrowitz wrestle to a twenty minute time limit draw.

    [POOL A - CURRENT STANDINGS]


    For a moment, Michelle von Horrowitz remains in the cover, elation still on her face, the kaiju - it at least seems to her, exactly where she wants him…

    But then she looks up at the official, confusion creeping onto her face. Why has he stopped counting?

    Michelle stands up, taking a step over Snowmantashi’s body and towards the official. The kaiju rolls out under the bottom rope and onto the floor, his face a crimson mask…

    And then Michelle sees the timer on the big screen: 0.00...

    After turning towards it, MvH sinks to her knees, her head in her hands. She slumps further down still until her forehead touches the mat, almost in the foetal position…

    She slams a fist into the mat, but there’s no strength in the blow. Eventually, her hands rest out of clenched fists, and with her opened palms on the mat she pushes herself up onto her knees. There are tears in her eyes, and her whole body convulses as she expels them.

    The arena is silent: there’s no music… Lindsay makes no announcement… the fans make very little noise for the first and last time in the evening. And then we fade to black.

    3.
    Shawn Summers defeats Cyrus Truth to complete his comeback.
    From Night Five:
    Spoiler:

    ONE… TWO… - - NO!

    Jim Taylor: “Shawn Summers able to get the shoulder up there, but maybe we’re seeing the result of a tough tournament for Der Basterd here. Summers struggling to get much going in the opening stretches of this one…”

    Tim Coleman: “Truth hasn’t had an easy time of it either, of course… but he hasn’t been the subject of The Indy Club’s attention for the most part. Those backstage attacks and sprawling brawls are taking their toll on Shawn Summers, in my opinion…”

    Truth circles Summers with a series of stomps before dragging him up to his feet. He is able to connect with a Tiger suplex, a hip toss, and later a snap DDT, the last of which earns him another two count. Cyrus punctuates these power moves with a series of strikes: mostly knife-edge chops and vicious forearms, but he also lands a step-up enziguri and a discus punch a various stages. He seems to have Summers right where he wants him, and is busying himself in lifting Summers up in an Argentine Rack as we near the ten minute mark in the match....

    Jim Taylor: “Maybe Cyrus Truth is looking for Exile’s Edge, here! This would be enough to finish most men, and I think Summers recognises his peril…”

    Summers struggles with all his might, and he begins to nail the side of Truth’s head with elbow strikes. Cyrus eventually has to give up on the Argentine rack attempt, but he takes Summers by the wrist and drags him in close for half a dozen violent forearms, which are enough to rock Summers down to a knee. Truth still has his wrist, and he pulls Summers towards him to connect with a headbutt! Shawn is rocking backwards, but Truth pulls him in close for a snap suplex! He hooks a leg…

    ONE… TWO… T - - NO!

    Tim Coleman: “Summers kicks out again, but you’ve got to question how much longer he can take this level of abuse!”

    Truth lifts Summers up and again seems to be going for the Argentine rack… he has him up! But Summers latches onto the top rope and pulls himself over it, landing on the apron and causing separation. Truth lunges towards him, but Summers grabs him by the neck and pulls it down over the top rope! Cyrus stumbles backwards and Summers climbs down onto the stage area around the ring. He takes a little too long shaking the cobwebs loose though, because Cyrus hits the ropes… he connects with a baseball slide! Summers hits the ground as the official starts a count. Truth wastes no time in lifting him up to his feet…

    Jim Taylor: “MEMENTO MORI!!”

    Tim Coleman: “Truth connects, the one-handed choke into a leg sweep effective on the outside!”

    Truth rolls into the ring and out of it again, lifting Summers up and hurling him into the barricade that is erected on the edge of the stage, looming above the orchestra pit. It budges, and some of the front row gasp as they picture Der Basterd plummeting into the pit. Truth wastes no time in working Summers’ body with rights and lefts, and then he takes him by the scruff of the neck. He walks him towards the steel ring post… but Summers begins to fight back! He nails a pair of elbows to the ribs… and then throws Truth into the steel post!!

    The referee is on four when Shawn Summers hurls himself under the bottom rope, and for a little while he just lies on his back and stares up at the lights. The count is at five by the time Truth begins to move, and he rolls on his back at six and up to his knees at seven. He is shaking his head, the steel post clearly taking some of the air out of him, but he steps up onto one foot at eight and has a vertical base at nine, rolling beneath the bottom rope just before the official can hit ten…

    Summers is on him immediately, though, and he drops a double axe handle over Truth’s back. He continues to enjoy his best period of the match so far, first hitting Cyrus with a shining wizard, and then hoisting him up for an inverted lifting DDT which gets him a two count. Summers puts Truth in a headscissors, proceeding to strike at the head with the point of his elbow repeatedly, Truth not able to focus on reaching for the ropes and instead being preoccupied in throwing up a guard.

    Jim Taylor: “Shawn Summers focussing a lot of his offence here on the head of Cyrus Truth, perhaps looking to weaken him up for The Prophecy…”

    Tim Coleman: “It wouldn’t surprise me if that was his strategy, and it’s a sensible one. Truth is in a lot of trouble right now!!”

    Eventually Truth is able to make it to the ropes, but Summers gets straight back on him after the break is enforced. He places Truth in a front face lock and hits him with a brainbuster! He’s not done there, though, instantly taking Cyrus by the scruff of the neck and dragging him up to his feet again. He places him in another front face lock, lifting a knee into Truth’s sternum a half-dozen times before hooking the arm… and then delivers a second brainbuster! Summers hooks the leg, a look of desperation in his eyes…

    ONE… TWO… T - - NO!!

    Jim Taylor: “Cyrus Truth gets a shoulder up! We’re getting towards the fifteen minute mark in this match, and Shawn Summers is closing in on victory!”

    Summers backs away from Truth and stands in the corner, weighing him up and judging his next move. Truth slowly gets up to his feet, and looks like he’s out on them when he finally has a vertical base. He turns towards Summers, who comes at him… boot to the midsection… he pulls Truth’s head between the legs… tries to hook the arms…

    … no! Truth rotates out of it, and he has Summers by the wrist… he pulls him towards him for a clothesline! Summers hits the mat hard, but fights up again… Truth hits the ropes… DISCUS PUNCH!! Summers goes down like a tonne of bricks! Truth takes a few moments to suck in some oxygen, before signalling for the end of the match…

    He takes Summers by his blonde hair and lifts him up to his feet… he has him up in the Argentine rack!

    Jim Taylor: “EXILE’S EDGE! Truth connects with the neckbreaker!!”

    Tim Coleman: “And now he hooks the leg!!”

    ONE… TWO… THR - - NO!!

    Jim Taylor: “Shawn Summers kicks out!!”

    The crowd gasps, and Truth takes a moment to look down at Summers before going back to his work. He unsteadily gets to his feet, and then he lifts Shawn up too. Fireman’s carry…

    Tim Coleman: “He’s looking for Journey’s End!! This will be it!”

    Summers desperately begins to kick his legs, and then again he lashes out with elbow strikes at Truth’s head. Cyrus stumbles, and Shawn manages to once more latch onto the top rope. He pulls himself over onto the apron as he did earlier in the match, and Truth tries to knock him off with a forearm. Summers blocks it… and he fires back with a straight right hand! Truth is staggered… and Summers goes to the top rope?!

    Jim Taylor: “What is Summers thinking?! We rarely ever see him up here!”

    Tim Coleman: “Diving cross-body!!! He connects! And now the cover…”

    ONE… TWO… T - - NO!

    Truth kicks out! Summers lifts him up… knife edge chop… forearm… straight right hand! And now he’s going for the arm! He’s looking for the cross arm-breaker!!

    But Truth is still on his feet… and he lifts Summers up in a fireman’s carry!!

    Jim Taylor: “JOURNEY’S END!! Truth nails it!!”

    Tim Coleman: “The sit-out piledriver connects! And now Truth hooks the leg….”

    ONE… TWO… … THREE?

    Jim Taylor: “The referee stopped counting! Summers has his foot on the ropes!!”

    Tim Coleman: “Truth can’t believe it!!”

    Cyrus lets out some more deep, laboured breaths, and then he picks Summers up to his feet. Truth is unsteady on his own, and he lifts him up into a fireman’s carry again…

    Jim Taylor: “Cyrus Truth going back to the well…”

    Tim Coleman: “But AGAIN Summers with those elbow strikes! Truth has no choice but to drop him…”

    Jim Taylor: “Summers lands on his feet… AXE KICK!!”

    Tim Coleman: “He’s down to one knee… SHINING WIZARD!”

    Truth is down, and immediately Summers pulls him up and in close… he hooks the arms…

    Jim Taylor: “PROPHECY!! Summers hits the kneeling double-arm facebuster!! Cyrus is in the middle of the ring…”

    Tim Coleman: “Shawn Summers hooks the legs…”

    ONE… TWO… THREE!!!

    Result: Shawn Summers defeats Cyrus Truth via pinfall at 19:31.

    [POOL B - FINAL STANDINGS]


    When Cola starts playing again, Shawn Summers finds he cannot move, and the introduction to the song rings out to the image of Der Basterd lying with an arm draped over Cyrus Truth…

    Jim Taylor: “He’s done it, Tim! Shawn Summers has booked his place in the Gold Rush finals!!”

    Finally, Summers rolls onto his back, staring up at the lights as his entrance song reaches its first chorus…

    Tim Coleman: “With less than thirty seconds left on the clock, Shawn Summers FINALLY manages to overcome Cyrus Truth! He’s got a date with Jon Snowmantashi set for Vanuatu!”

    The official is helping Summers to his feet, and when he is finally up to a vertical base the referee takes him by the wrist and lifts his hand into the air. The audience gives Summers the respect he deserves, Cyrus meanwhile rolling out of the ring to allow the winner of the match his moment in the spotlight…

    Jim Taylor: “Cyrus Truth, of course, had already qualified from Pool B, and he’ll meet The White Wolf, Krash, is the other semi-final match! We’re just three matches away from finding out the winner of the first Gold Rush tournament: Snowmantashi, Truth, Krash, and now Shawn Summers!”

    2.
    The Indy Club reunites.
    From Night Three:
    Spoiler:

    Jackson is now standing behind McGinnis, and he takes him in a full nelson, dragging McGinnis onto his feet and then throwing him back down with a dragon suplex!! This time, Jackson hooks both legs…

    ONE… TWO… THR - - NO!!!

    Jim Taylor: “He kicked out god damnit!”

    Tim Coleman: “Both men know what a loss tonight here means, and they’re unwilling to give up on their dreams of taking that CWA World Heavyweight Championship from Brayden Bridges! But something’s got to give!”

    Jim Taylor: “We’re past fifteen minutes now, Tim! A draw isn’t a disaster for either man but, considering Savage and Truth will go later on this evening, it’s not what they wanted from this match…”

    Tim Coleman: “Christopher Jackson knows this! He’s taking things to the high rent district! Is he thinking about his Five-Star Treatment frog splash? Or maybe his remarkable shooting star press?!”

    Jim Taylor: “We haven’t seen Jackson fly for seven years, Tim! This could be it for Jonathan McGinnis!”

    The Indy God is lying in the centre of the ring, staring at the lights, as Jackson puts his first boot onto the top rope. He’s breathing heavily, the victory flashing before his eyes, as he stares across the ring at McGinnis and the official beyond him…

    … and then suddenly, the referee face-plants onto the mat, and disappears beneath the second rope…

    … Christopher Jackson narrows his eyes, trying to focus on the official’s assailant, but before he knows it he’s tumbling from the top rope, a second man having hopped onto the apron and thrown him from his perch…

    Jim Taylor: “THAT’S THE ECHO! THE ECHO ARE AT RINGSIDE!”

    Tim Coleman: “Is this - - ?!”

    Jim Taylor: “Jesus, no!!”

    The cameraman has focussed on Ethan Connor, the man who threw Straight Edge to the outside from the top rope, as he gives the lens some crotch chops. Jackson is trying to get to his feet outside the ring, and he valiantly does so…

    … before being hit with a superkick!! The crowd groan with anguish as Jackson hits the ground!

    Drew Connor, the man who pulled the referee from the ring, has slid into it and is now busy rousing McGinnis. He is doing a pretty successful job, and The Indy God is using the ring ropes to help him up to his feet as Christopher Jackson is rolled back into the ring.

    Jim Taylor: “Our worst fears are materializing, Tim! This is Jonathan McGinnis and The Echo! This is The Indy Club!!”

    Tim Coleman: “Those attacks we saw last week from The Echo… we had assumed it was a statement in the direction of The Division, The Undisputed Alliance, and the rest of the tag team division. But Shawn Summers and Nate Savage are also two of McGinnis’ biggest rivals in Pool B…”

    Jim Taylor: “Of course! The Echo are making sure their buddy catches all the breaks in this tournament! And it makes me sick!”

    The Indy Club - the reunited motherfucking Indy Club - share a casual Too Sweet in the middle of the ring, waiting patiently for Jackson to get to his knees. Straight Edge looks up at the three men before him. He sighs heavily, knowing what is about to come… but he still resolutely climbs to his feet…

    … and then eats a TRIPLE SUPERKICK!! Jackson hits the mat again, and The Echo high-five obnoxiously as they walk around the ring in a circle. They are content with their involvement, and climb out of the ring. Ethan goes to the official and rouses him as Jonathan McGinnis hoists Jackson up into the air. The referee is slid into the ring, just as The Indy God slams Jackson down onto his knees from the powerbomb position…

    Jim Taylor: “And there’s Something Light! Jonathan McGinnis hooks the leg as the referee crawls over…”

    ONE… TWO… THREE!

    Result: Jonathan McGinnis defeats Christopher Jackson via pinfall at 16:22.

    [POOL B - CURRENT STANDINGS


    Jim Taylor: “Not that way…”

    Tim Coleman: “Any way he can…”

    Jonathan McGinnis rolls off Christopher Jackson and The Echo slide into the ring. They help McGinnis up, and he is selling as if he just fought in a two-hour iron man match. Drew and Ethan Connor hold him up, slapping him on the back and congratulating him on a job well done…

    Jim Taylor: “At least they’re out in the open now, Tim… I think Jonathan McGinnis may have just emerged as a favourite for qualification from Pool B…”

    McGinnis is shouting as such into the camera, which he holds at arm’s length from him as if he is Hamlet and it’s Yorick’s skull. The cameraman behind it is being led this way and that by The Indy God, who rambles on as he paces… When he’s finally finished his diatribe, McGinnis pushes the camera away from him… and nails the cameraman with a superkick!

    Jim Taylor: “Hey! That man’s just trying to earn a living!”

    Just then, as the official stands up and moves away from Christopher Jackson to remonstrate with McGinnis, Ethan Connor nails the man in black and white with a superkick of his own!

    Jim Taylor: “Look at that huge smile on the face of Ethan Connor!”

    Tim Coleman: “All three of them look pretty pleased with themselves, Tim…”

    It’s a great struggle for Christopher Jackson to event stand, but he’s doing his best to do so. The Indy Club watches him with glee. Eventually, he’s able to get onto his hands and his knees. He then rears up onto his haunches, facing the three men before him once more, for the last time…

    … and he eats one more triple superkick! Jackson hits the mat, knocked out, and The Indy Club celebrates above his body. The Indy God is the first to lift his hand into the air, a shit-eating grin on his face, The Brothers Connor happily reciprocating. We fade to black on this most unsettling image…

    1.
    Tag team mayhem on Olkhon Island.
    From Night Four:
    Spoiler:

    Maskell is sent to the mat with the Side Effect, and instantly Carlos begins an ascent to the top rope. Dan is getting up to his feet… diving cross-body! Into the cover…

    ONE… TWO… NO!

    Carlos wastes no time in lifting Dan to his feet, and he charges off the opposite set of ropes… single running high knee! He nails the McKick and Dan is grounded!

    Tim Coleman: “And now Carlos senses Maskell is ready for the big finish. He’s in the corner, maybe thinking about the Spear!"

    Carlos wills Maskell to get to his feet, and the two thousand two hundred fans in attendance are all on theirs already! It’s the happy ending they all want to see tonight!!

    … but then Chubby Carlos face-plants the mat …

    ?!

    He’s pulled out of the ring… SUPERKICK!

    Jim Taylor: “Drew Conner is here! He just nailed Carlos with a superkick!"

    Tim Coleman: “And Ethan Conner is in the ring! SUPERKICK FOR MASKELL!"

    Jim Taylor: “The referee is calling for the bell! I think… well, I guess he HAS to throw this one out!!"

    Result:Chubby Carlos and Dan Maskell tie due to a no contest declared at 11:07.

    [POOL A - END OF NIGHT FOUR STANDINGS]


    Drew and Ethan Conner are joined at ring-side by their leader, Jonathan McGinnis, who slides into the ring with the same manic smile on his face that we’ve seen throughout the night. He wastes no time in lifting Dan Maskell to his feet, and then driving him down with Something Light!

    Tim Coleman: “This is… just... wrong!"

    Jim Taylor: “We’ve seen some things in this tournament… but The Indy Club just torpedoed our main event!"

    Tim Coleman: “They’ve gone too far, Jim!"

    Jim Taylor: “I guess this is what they meant by making an impact..."

    The Indy God doesn’t seem to think he’s gone far enough, and he paces around the ring in a wide circle around Dan Maskell. Ethan and Drew have gone back to the outside, where they nail a rising Chubby Carlos with a double superkick! The camera picks it up and watches on as Chubby Carlos slumps to the ground...

    Inside the ring, Jonathan McGinnis is demanding a microphone, finally wanting a wider audience for his babbling…

    Jim Taylor: “It looks like McGinnis has got something to say… but we’ve seen and heard enough!"

    He collects the microphone from Monaghan and then wanders into a front and central position in the ring, The Echo pacing and circling around him. The brothers have matching cocky smiles on their face, whilst the look plastered onto McGinnis’ is something else entirely. He is unblinking, his head slightly tilted back, eyes scarily wide, nostrils flaring, and his breathing laboured. He looks like a mess of a man, without full control of his senses, and he paces slightly this way and that as he begins to speak…

    Jonathan McGinnis: “Ladies and gentlemen, I know what you’re thinking: these two plebs aren’t even in the same pool as me! It’s true, it’s true… but that doesn’t matter. I’m out here to let you, and Hanson, and the whole world know exactly what I think of this sham tournament!"

    Chubby Carlos is using the ropes to pull himself to his feet, but Drew Conner is sizing him up, waiting for him to turn… he nails him with another superkick! Carlos hits the mat and then rolls out onto the floor…

    Jonathan McGinnis: “When you dress these morons in a black and white shirt with your company’s logo on it, you give them permission to speak for that company. And your spokesman tonight fell a long way short of my expectations. This…"

    McGinnis surveys his handiwork with a smile on his face, noting Maskell and Carlos both being helped to their feet and away by medical staff…

    Jonathan McGinnis: “This is a message to Noah Hanson. Make sure that none of that bullshit your boy pulled earlier with my associates happens next week, or your tournament won’t even reach its end…"

    The Indy God smiles wildly again, and both members of The Echo nod their head in affirmation… but there is a change in the atmosphere. It is subtle and gradual, for there’s no music to herald an arrival. Instead, three men have simply walked out onto the raised stage, and they stare down at their opposite numbers in the ring, the stone staircase and the short ramp between them.

    Jim Taylor: “That’s… that’s The Elite, Tim! Shawn Summers, Trevor Ocean, Noah Stocke… they’re here!"

    Tim Coleman: “And a surprisingly positive reaction for this trio!"

    Jim Taylor: “I just think they’re happy to see someone out here standing up to The Indy Club, Tim! These fans have seen enough…"

    Shawn Summers is at the head of the three, and he walks up to the top of the staircase. He has a microphone in his hand, and he addresses the three men as he begins his descent…

    Shawn Summers: “You know, it’s only been a few days, and already I’m sick to my teeth of this shtick… but I guess that’s what happens when you recycle the same old shit you’ve been doing for years. Intermittently flitting between saviour and devil, a man in constant identity crisis… And now here we stand, all of our cards on the table… a position in which you’ve never been comfortable."

    Summers has made it to the bottom of the stairs, and he doesn’t pause when he gets there. Ocean and Stocke also reach the bottom and fan out either side of him, flanking him as he comes down the ramp.

    Shawn Summers: “It’s funny how history often repeats itself, and frequently turns itself on its head. I remember Moscow well. Back then, it made sense for you to set your boys on me before I went up against Christopher Jackson. I was a threat, even after you’d beaten me in St. Petersburg. Your own defeat meant certain insurances were needed. It makes sense, and I don’t begrudge you the underhanded tactics. Part of me admires it…"

    He’s reached the ring, and he pauses on the outside. Ocean and Stocke continue at a swagger, circling the perimeter of it and taking up position at adjacent corners.

    Shawn Summers: “But now? I stand one week away from a historic comeback… from the very jaws of defeat! Of abject failure! A victory over Cyrus Truth - no small task in itself - puts me on the precipice… but if you were to beat Humanity? Well, now it’s in my interest to ensure that doesn’t happen…"

    Summers flashes The Indy God a smile as he too walks out onto the structure upon the ice.

    Shawn Summers: “You see the dramatic irony here, Jonathan? You’re not the only one willing to take advantage of such a situation… especially when shots have already been fired…"

    With a glint in his eye, Shawn Summers drops his microphone, and then he hops up onto the apron. McGinnis throws up a guard, maniacally willing Summers into the ring. The Echo keep a close eye on The Division, just as another change comes about in the atmosphere within the arena…

    … as The Undisputed Alliance walks out onto the stage! Boos rain down to greet their arrival. They have neglected to bring a microphone with them, and instead simply snarl as they begin their own descent of the stone staircase.

    Jim Taylor: “That’s Nate Savage and Jackson Fenix! They look like they’re spoiling for a fight…"

    Tim Coleman: “And it doesn’t look like they’re the only ones!"

    The camera picks up two men standing up in the back row of one of the wooden stands. There’s a more positive reaction as they’re shown on the screen. They shuffle their way across to a staircase and begin their own descent towards the ramp…

    Tim Coleman: “That’s Jermaine Creed and Kendrick Lethal of Murder, Inc.! We’ve already seen them twice tonight: once in Launch-Pad action, and then again striking up some sort of pact of non-aggression with The Undisputed Alliance…"

    Jim Taylor: “We’ll see how well that holds up… there’s a lot of combustible elements here at ringside!"

    Murder. Inc. and The Undisputed Alliance converge on the ramp, and they behold each other for a moment. They each recall their meeting from earlier in the night… and Savage and Creed share a nod. Murder, Inc. step aside, allowing The Undisputed Alliance to make their way to the ring, following behind them…

    … and then Kenrick Lethal takes out Nate Savage from behind with a shoulder block! Savage is wiped out on the outside of the ring! Creed takes Fenix and hurls him back-first into the barricade! He follows up with a series of stomps!

    Jim Taylor: “I think this is about to break down!"

    Inside the ring, McGinnis notices that Summers is momentarily distracted by the goings on outside… and he charges at him, knocking him off the apron with a knee strike! Summers hits the barricade, and The Indy God instantly charges to the other side of the ring, hits the ropes… and takes out Summers with a suicide dive!

    The Division both slide into the ring… Ethan hits Stocke with a superkick!! Drew goes for one on Ocean, but he ducks beneath it and nails the turning Conner with a forearm smash! But then he turns into an enziguri from Ethan!!

    Jim Taylor: “We need to get control of this!"

    Tim Coleman: “No we don’t! Let them fight!!"

    Outside the ring, Jonathan McGinnis and Shawn Summers are sharing a frantic exchange of right hands, neither man backing down as they go at it ferociously! By the ramp, The Undisputed Alliance have turned the tables on Murder, Inc. Nate Savage hits an atomic drop on Jermaine Creed, followed by a big clothesline, whilst Jackson Fenix works on Kendrick Lethal with a series of stiff kicks, backing him up the ramp… but here comes Noah Stocke! He’s rolled out of the ring and refocused his attention on the pack on the ramp. He takes Nate Savage by the scruff of the neck… and throws him into the steel ring steps!

    Stocke looks as if he’s going to head back to the ring… but Ethan Conner comes out of nowhere and hits him with a somersault dive from inside the ring! Conner pops back to his feet and charges at Jermaine Creed and Jackson Fenix, who share right hands at the foot of the steps…

    Jim Taylor: “This is impossible to keep track of, Tim! Look at Summers and McGinnis!"

    The two Pool B competitors are in the crowd, exchanging hands amongst the standing fans who are baying for more blood. Summers ducks beneath a McGinnis right and hits him with an axe kick! Then a reverse lifting DDT amongst the fans! He picks up a nearby steel chair and waits for McGinnis to rise… and nails The Indy God upside the head with the weapon!

    Fenix and Conner are fighting back towards the ring, Noah Stocke and Jermaine Creed doing the same as they climb the stone staircase. They stop on each step to exchange more forearms, but the camera leaves them on their climb and follows Ethan Conner, who has Fenix by the scruff of the neck and tries to throw him into the barricade by the ring… no! Fenix rakes the eyes! And here comes Nate Savage! Fenix Irish whips Ethan towards Nate, who hits him with a snap powerslam!!

    But then Nate stands up to a superkick from Drew! And then one for Fenix!

    Jim Taylor: “Look at Stocke and Creed! They’re fighting up on the stage! Stocke is getting the better of his adversary, nailing him with alternating forearms and heabutts!"

    Tim Coleman: “But Creed blocks a forearm… he replies with one of his own! And now he doubles him over with a boot to the midsection… piledriver!!"

    Jim Taylor: “And it’s nothing but bare rock up there…"

    But Creed isn’t done there, he picks up Noah and throws him through the stone, triangular archway, following him with some stomps as they disappear through it. We cut away from Stocke and Creed and back to ring-side. Drew Conner is backed up against the steel barricade that separates the ring structure from the lake… and Nate Savage charges at him with a clothesline! Drew flies over the top of the barricade and lands on the ice! The Conner brother lets out a little yelp as he lands on the surface, feeling it shift slightly under his weight…

    … and then he sees Nate Savage climbing over the barricade and onto the ice too!

    Drew Conner: “Woah, woah, woah! Calm down big boy!"

    Savage places his hand on Drew’s hair and drags him to his feet… but Ethan appears out of nowhere and nails him with a superkick! Nate hits the ice, and Drew instantly rolls up to his feet. Neither of the Conners are particularly comfortable on the ice...

    Drew Conner: “How did MvH and Rondo even do this?!"

    Ethan Conner: “Remember: the ‘F’ stands for ‘fantasy’, folks!"

    Ethan gives the camera a wink, and then he and Drew lift Nate up to his feet. They apply a front face lock… double suplex! Onto the ice!

    We cut away from this scene and to Shawn Summers and Jonathan McGinnis, who have found their own raised plateau amongst the crowd. The Russian audience surrounds them as they exchange forearms, McGinnis eventually blocking one and lifting a knee into Summers’ sternum. He lifts him up for Something Light… no! Summers fights out of it with right hands to McGinnis’ head… boot to the midsection… he’s going for The Prophecy! McGinnis reverses with a big back body drop!! Onto the rock!

    We are back up on the stage, and Kendrick Lethal is working on Jackson Fenix with right hands and knife edge chops. He then takes him by the scruff of the neck and runs him into one of the rock formations that forms the entrance! Fenix attempts to crawl away, and Lethal follows him, beating on him occasionally as they disappear from view…

    It’s handycam footage now, and we’re trying to keep track of Jermaine Creed and Noah Stocke… Stocke has seemingly managed to take back the advantage, and works on Creed with heavy right hands. The Murder, Inc. member is backed up against the side of a structure, and when the camera pans around it is clear that the two have fought into the adjacent village… the sight of the few houses and the tavern that hosts the few inhabitants of Olkhon Island. Stocke backs away from Creed and attempts to charge into him… but Jermaine moves out of the way! Stocke slams into the structure instead, and Creed takes him by the scruff of the neck and throws him inside. We follow them in and find that we are inside a tavern, and instantly the Russian punters begin to scatter! Creed tries to take Stocke by the hair and slam him face-first into a table, but Noah puts his hands out in front of him to block it… and then he reels off a few elbows to his torso, before hurling Creed across the table!

    Stocke takes a deep breath, and then casually walks away from Creed. He stands at the bar, leans over it, and picks up a beer…

    … and then he notices two men sitting at the far end of the bar, watching him carefully…

    Jim Taylor: “Wait… that’s…"

    One of them is sipping at a whiskey, whilst the other pours the remnants of a Pepsi can into his glass.

    Tim Coleman: “That’s the CWA Tag Team Champions!"

    Jim Taylor: “Just enjoying a refreshing post-match beverage!"

    Suddenly, Alyster Black lifts up his whiskey bottle, stands, and hurls it at Noah! Stocke manages to evade the bottle, which smashes against the wall behind him… but then Krash cuts him in half with a spear!

    The door of the tavern opens, and Jackson Fenix is thrown inside. Kendrick Lethal walks in behind him, and he surveys the tag team champions. Jermaine Creed has got to his feet and brushes himself off, stepping up next to his tag team partner.

    Krash looks at Black. Black shrugs. And then they lunge at Murder, Inc!

    Black takes Creed down with a double-leg takedown and begins to pummel him with right hands! Meanwhile, Krash attempts a running knee strike - his One-Hit Kill - on Lethal, but Kendrick evades and then takes Krash in a full nelson. He yanks him over to the bar and throws Krash onto the surface of the counter... before proceeding to drag him across it! The evening’s empties, of which there are a considerable amount, are all knocked off by Krash, who is then dumped unceremoniously off the end! Lethal turns around… into a roaring elbow from Black!! He’s wiped out!

    Jim Taylor: “But watch out! Jermaine Creed is sizing Black up from behind…"

    Tim Coleman: “One-Hit Kill from nowhere! Krash takes out Creed!"

    The Gang Stars stand for a moment amongst the debris, and then they notice that Noah Stocke is nowhere to be found. They walk outside, and looking to their right they see Nate Savage slumped against the tavern wall…

    Jim Taylor: “That looks suspiciously like Savage has been the victim of a superkick…"

    Tim Coleman: “That suggests there is a Conner about… but where is Noah Stocke?!"

    We cut away from the village and back to ringside. Shawn Summers and Jonathan McGinnis have fought their way onto the stage area atop the stone staircase. They are both fatigued, but still exchange heavy strikes that elicit oohs and aahs from the assembled crowd. Summers hits a European uppercut… and McGinnis fires back with a heart punch… Summers hits another axe kick! McGinnis staggers to one knee.... and then he hits a mule kick! The Indy God pulls Summers into position…

    Jim Taylor: “He has him ready for Something Light! McGinnis looking to send a clear message ahead of crunch-night in Vladivostok!"

    Tim Coleman: “But Summers is fighting out desperately with straight right hands… hurricanrana! McGinnis is thrown down!"

    Jim Taylor: “And now Summers has him where he wants him… boot to the midsection… he hooks the arms… Summers is about to end this brawl with The Prophecy…"

    Tim Coleman: “SUPERKICK!! Drew Conner appears out of nowhere!!"

    Summers stumbles… right into a second superkick from Ethan!! McGinnis doesn’t let Shawn fall to the ground, instead pulling him in close...

    Jim Taylor: “Something Light! Jonathan McGinnis caps off this three-on-one assault!!"

    Tim Coleman: “Where are The Division?!"

    The last we see of inside the arena is The Indy Club standing over Shawn Summers’ body, each lifting a raised fist into a huddle whilst they grin from ear to ear…

    … but that is not the end of the night. We cut back to the village, and The Gang Stars are walking through a central street. They go slowly, disturbing as little ground as they can, making no noise. They are hesitant and tentative, Krash looking from side-to-side as they get further and further south…

    … and then they hear a sound away in the distance. Perhaps twenty metres away, Trevor Ocean and Noah Stocke walk from behind a small, wooden house, and take up position up the road from the tag team champions.

    The camera gives us a close-up of the eyes of each of them in turn: first Krash, then Trevor Ocean, then the masked man, and finally Noah Stocke. A wide shot from the side of the road displays both teams, staring each other down at a distance. One more view from behind The Division’s shoulders. We can see The Gang Stars blocking the road, and further down the path is the backstage area, Gorilla position, and the rock formation entrance to the arena. Little do The Division know of Summers’ plight, but their way is blocked off regardless.

    Clenching his fist, Noah Stocke takes a step forward…

    … but Trevor Ocean places a hand on his shoulder.

    Trevor Ocean: “Vanuatu…"

    Stocke looks at him, and then slowly nods. The two walk out of the shot.

    Alyster Black and Krash stand alone in the village upon Olkhon Island, our show finally coming to its end.
    *****

    Night On Bald Mountain | Mussorgsky.
    Spoiler:

    There are a few boos around the beach, but there is mostly a hush when Billy Hatcher walks out onto the stage. He cuts an imposing figure with Nikki Albarn stood next to him, smiling and looking on at her charge approvingly. Hatcher begins his descent toward the ring...


    Lindsay Monaghan:
    “Ladies and gentlemen, the next contest is a Fatal 4-Way match scheduled for one-fall, with a twenty minute time limit. Introducing first… currently residing in Dusseldorf, Germany… weighing in at two hundred and twenty six pounds… ‘Das Vorbild’... BILLY HATCHER!”

    Jim Taylor:
    "A few short stints in the CWA for Billy Hitcher back in its heyday, dating back to 2010 in fact, but Das Vorbild has spent a LOT of time refining his skills in the intermittent years since we last saw him in a CWA ring."

    Tim Coleman:
    "The Billy Hatcher you see before you is a very different prospect to the one we saw years ago. I'm intrigued to see the new and improved Das Vorbild in action."

    Hatcher climbs into the ring and stares off towards the stage as his music fades out. It is replaced by...

    Broken | From Ashes to New.
    Spoiler:

    A cheer goes around the beach for the popular returning star, and when Johnny Vegas walks out onto the stage a chant of his name can be heard. He smiles approvingly, remembering what it feels like to be in the spotlight, and then begins to walk towards the ring.

    Lindsay Monaghan:
    “Next… from Los Angeles, California… weighing in at two hundred and twenty pounds… JOHNNY VEGAS!”

    Jim Taylor:
    "Like Hatcher, Johnny Vegas was absent from Philadelphia's One Night Only show last year, but he makes his return here in Vanuatu... and to rapturous applause! Vegas was a popular figure for much of his initial run with the CWA, and it seems the Clique faithful haven't forgotten his name!"

    Vegas slaps hands with a few of the front row fans as he goes, before sliding into the ring and posing on the second turnbuckle. After hopping back down, he waits in a corner as his music fades...

    Mad World | Gary Joules.
    There's a respectful reaction upon the beach as the seasoned veteran walks out onto the stage. Clint Shepard looks around at the revellers and doesn't seem to enjoy them, but re-focuses on the ring as he begins to walk towards it.

    Lindsay Monaghan:
    “Thirdly… from Phoenix, Arizona… weighing in at two hundred and eighty seven pounds… CLINT SHEPARD!!”

    Jim Taylor:
    "Here comes a former High Voltage Champion in Clint Shepard, who we did indeed see compete back in Philadelphia at One Night Stand. The man who beat him, XYZ, is next out, and I'm sure Shepard will want to exact some measure of revenge tonight..."

    Tim Coleman:
    "I don't know, Jim... I imagine Clint Shepard might be passed all that. He's a veteran of this industry: been there and done it all. I think tonight will strictly be business as usual for Clint Shepard."
    Shepard rolls into the ring and retreats to his corner, before waiting patiently for the fourth and final combatant...

    One Headlight | The Wallflowers.
    Spoiler:

    There's a cheer on the beach for XYZ as he appears on stage. He looks up at the sky with a distant and rather bizarre look on his face. With a three-sixty twirl on the stage as he looks about himself at the sea and the dunes, he begins to walk down the ramp...

    Lindsay Monaghan:
    “And finally… from Sitka, Alaska… he weighs two hundred and four pounds… XYZ!!”

    Jim Taylor:
    "We just mentioned that XYZ was victorious over Shepard in the first round of the High Voltage tournament last year, but he'd go on to lose in the final to MvH. A mixed return for XYZ in Philadelphia, but he'll want to get back to winning ways here tonight at the expense of Vegas, Shepard, and Hatcher..."

    XYZ completes the set as he climbs into the ring. He looks at each of the four competitors in turn. The official goes to each corner, issuing some final instructions, as XYZ's music fades out. When he's ready and happy, the official calls for the bell...

    Match Three.
    Fatal 4-Way Match.
    CLINT SHEPARD vs. BILLY HATCHER vs. XYZ vs. JOHNNY VEGAS.
    (1/20)

    As you’d expect, this one starts off quickly. At first, we have Hatcher and Shepard trading blows on one side of the ring, Das Vorbild hitting forearms whilst Shepard comes back with straight right hands. XYZ and Vegas trade off holds in another part of the ring. XYZ is able to reverse Vegas’ hammer lock into a rear waist lock, but is unable to get Vegas up for a German suplex, allowing Johnny to go behind into a half-nelson. When XYZ struggles, Vegas transitions into a headlock… only for XYZ to take him up and over with a saito suplex! Meanwhile, Shepard has backed Hatcher up into the ropes with straight rights, and whips him into the opposite set. Shepard looks to be going for a shoulder block, but Hatcher checks his momentum by hooking onto the top rope. Shepard charges at Hatcher… who back body drops him up onto the apron! And the two are straight back to trading blows… Hatcher is inside the ring with forearm strikes, whilst Shepard is fighting back from the apron with right hands…

    Jim Taylor: “Hands being thrown here by Shepard and Hatcher… there aren’t many here tonight that can go hand-to-hand with Clint Shepard, but Das Vorbild is on that list!”

    Meanwhile, XYZ has lifted Vegas up and backed him into a corner with some knife edge chops. He Irish whips Vegas into the opposite set of turnbuckles, and the impact is enough to have Johnny bouncing back towards him… straight into a big back body drop! Vegas fights up to his feet as best he can, but XYZ hits him with an atomic drop. XYZ charges into the ropes… shotgun dropkick! And then a senton to Vegas!

    Tim Coleman: “XYZ picking up steam early on, here! Hatcher and Clint need to keep a close eye on proceedings IN the ring and not get to caught up in knocking lumps from one another!”

    Shepard has pulled Das Vorbild out onto the apron and wears him down with right hands, and then boots Billy in the midsection. He pulls Hatcher into position, as if he’s going for a piledriver… but Hatcher smartly hooks an arm onto the middle rope to leverage himself down. Shepard clubs ino Billy’s back to try to weaken him, but Hatcher wriggles loose of the hold… and then forces Clint back up into the steel post!! The two are still balanced precariously on the apron, and Hatcher proceeds to work away at the dazed Shepard with some jabs, hooks, and European uppercuts…

    Inside the ring, XYZ has applied a sleeper on Vegas, and slowly wears him down whilst Hatcher and Shepard go at it on the apron. The audience tries to cheer Johnny back into the match, and when the referee checks his arm he’s able to stop it from hitting the mat. He proceeds to fight up to a knee… and then to his feet… Vegas hits some elbows into the midriff of XYZ and then pushes him into the ropes. He throws him into the opposite set… dropkick from Vegas!! XYZ does his best to scramble up to his feet but Vegas is waiting for him. Boot to the midsection… double underhook suplex! Vegas goes for the cover…

    ONE… TWO… NO!

    As XYZ kicks out in the ring, Hatcher pulls Shepard towards him in a full nelson. He looks to be going for a dragon suplex on the apron, but Shepard senses his danger and lashes out with some elbow strikes. He causes some separation, and then goes for a big right hand… blocked by Hatcher! And then Billy hits a headbutt!! Shepard is turned around… Hatcher applies a rear waist lock…

    Jim Taylor: “GERMAN SUPLEX! On the apron!!”

    Shepard falls to the floor on the outside, and Hatcher follows up with some stomps. Meanwhile, in the ring, Vegas has picked XYZ up and is working away at him with stomps and knife edge chops. He goes to Irish whip him into the opposite corner, but XYZ reverses and sends Johnny in instead. XYZ charges in after him, attempting a splash… no! Vegas leaps out of the way! XYZ hits the turnbuckles chest first… step-up enziguri attempt from Vegas… but XYZ ducks beneath it! And then a mule kick to the gut from XYZ! He hits the ropes…

    Tim Coleman: “Swinging neckbreaker! And now XYZ goes for the cover…”

    ONE… TWO… NO!

    Vegas kicks out! On the outside, Hatcher has whipped Shepard into the steel barricade and works at the body with hooks and jabs. Inside the ring, XYZ lifts Johnny up and backs him up into the ropes. He whips him into the opposite set… XYZ goes for a roundhouse kick… but Vegas ducks beneath it and continues to the opposite set… XYZ goes for a clothesline this time… again ducked by Vegas!

    Jim Taylor: “SUICIDE DIVE! Vegas throws himself onto the outside, into Billy Hatcher!!”

    Vegas is up to his feet, and he pumps his fist to get the crowd going… but he doesn’t see Shepard with the clothesline! Vegas hits the floor, but Clint starts to lift him up to his feet. Meanwhile, XYZ has climbed onto the apron, and he turns his back on the action as all three men converge nearby…

    Tim Coleman: “Springboard moonsault!! XYZ takes them all out!”

    XYZ gets to his feet to loud applause from the audience, and with a smile on his face he picks up Clint Shepard… and proceeds to Irish whip him into the steel steps! Clint hits them hip-first and lands in a heap on the other side! XYZ follows him around and lays in with stomps, Clint trying to drag himself away on his hands and knees. XYZ lifts him up to his feet near the steel ramp and drags him up it…

    Jim Taylor: “XYZ maybe going for a DDT here…”

    Tim Coleman: “But Clint reverses with a northern lights suplex!!”

    Jim Taylor: “It doesn’t look like Clint can follow up, though! That collision with the steel steps took it out of him…”

    Hatcher has lifted Johnny up to his feet, and he throws him once into the barricade and then back into the ring. He follows him in, and stalks him from the corner… Johnny gets to his feet, and Hatcher comes towards him for a rear waistlock. He’s going for another German… but Johnny fights out with elbow strikes to the side of the head. Separation is caused…

    Jim Taylor: “European uppercut from Vegas!”

    Tim Coleman: “And now a front face lock… is Vegas going for Cruel Intentions here?! If he hits the brainbuster this one’s over!”

    Jim Taylor: “But Hatcher is able to over-rotate… he lands on his feet…”

    Tim Coleman: “Vegas turns right into a bear hug… belly-to-belly overhead release suplex!”

    Here comes Shepard though… he charges into the ring and tries to wipe Hatcher out with a clothesline. Das Vorbild ducks it… exploder suplex!!

    Jim Taylor: “And Hatcher senses the end! He looks at Vegas, who is using the ropes to help himself to a vertical base…”

    Tim Coleman: “Das Vorbild comes up behind him… tiger suplex!!”

    Jim Taylor: “And there’s the rear naked choke! Hatcher calls this Headhunted!!”

    Hatcher wrenches at the hold, a rabid look on his face… and Vegas has no choice but to tap!!
    Result: Billy Hatcher via submission at 11:25

    Lindsay Monaghan: "Here is your winner... Billy Hatcher!!"

    Hatcher gets off Vegas and stands up in the ring, taking a couple of deep breaths but snatching his hand away from the official directly after it is lifted into the air. Nikki Albarn has climbed into the ring, and stands besides her client.

    Jim Taylor: "An impressive victory here for Hatcher tonight, and one would have to think the sky is the limit for Das Vorbild in this new era of CWA..."

    Outside the ring, XYZ looks on with an expression of horror on his face. Clint Shepard shakes his head in a disgruntled and frustrated manner before beginning to walk up the ramp.

    Tim Coleman: "Maybe... who knows what Hanson has in store for Hatcher when CWA returns to the good ol' USA?!"

    Jim Taylor: "I guess that remains to be seen..."


    Billy Hatcher climbs out of the ring and begins to stomp up the ramp as we fade out.

    *****
    We fade in to a crackling beachside fire on the Espiritu Santo Beach, backlit by the setting of the evening sun. The smooth, calm ocean gently brushed at the shore, thin, fragile fingers of water grasping at grains of sand, before retreating in kind, never wavering, always repeating. A rhythmic process, the soft crushing of water drowned out by a radio, somewhere in the distance, tinny playing a tune of a time long forgotten.

    A man sat on the beach, facing away from the fireplace - gazing into the horizon, where the shallow ocean stretched into an endless sea. His white trouser legs rolled above his ankles, the drifting tide lapped at the soles of his feet, dipped just on the edge of the water's touch. A purple and white Hawaiian shirt - the gaudy kind you'd see exclusively worn by tourists - hung off one shoulder, the other left bare, only barely half worn. And finally, a pair of black wrestling boots, trimmed with gold, sat neatly discarded behind him.

    The man sat in silence, seemingly content with staring out into the distance as another old jazzy tune played on that radio somewhere.

    Until the soft sound of footsteps in the sand approached.

    Michelle Kelly:"Krash?"

    Ah, Michelle Kelly. Ever present, ever reliable, ever working, Michelle Kelly. Dressed in a sparkling red blouse and a pair of black jeans, Michelle stepped onto the scene, a wireless microphone in her grasp. She paused, hesitating for the briefest of seconds, as the man turned his head, a grimace cracking across his face and a hand clutched at the back of his neck at the action. His face illuminated by the fire, his slicked black hair ruffling in the soft breeze, the piercing emerald eyes of Krash met Michelle Kelly's sparkling blue ones. And after another heartbeat of a pause, he smiled, a thin, tight-lipped smile, but a smile nonetheless.

    Krash: "Michelle. It's good to see you."

    At ease, Michelle stepped closer, her posture relaxed. It was rare that she'd be interviewing someone who, without any ulterior motives or falseness, treated her not as an annoyance or an object, such as her unfortunate words with Dan Maskell, but rather treated her as a colleague, a co-worker, a friend.

    Michelle Kelly:"Do you mind if I ask you a question or two?"

    Krash's smooth moustache twitched, and his gaze swept back to the horizon, before he gently patted a hand on the sand next to him.

    Krash: "Sit down, Michelle. Rest your feet, just for a few minutes."

    Michelle glanced at the sand, inwardly debating, before acquiescing, lowering herself onto the beach next to Krash. She shifted slightly, trailing a finger in the sand.

    Michelle Kelly: "I never really took you as one for the beach."

    Krash: "I'm not, typically. I don't like sand and I'm not a particularly strong swimmer."


    Michelle raised an eyebrow, sensing the but.

    Michelle Kelly: "'But'?"

    Krash: "But considering the night I'm going to have... I could use the disconnect. Try to compartmentalize. Even just for a little bit."


    Krash glanced at Michelle, before turning back to the horizon. Only now, did Michelle see the weight and tiredness in his eyes.

    Michelle Kelly: "Can we talk about that? The night you're having?"

    Krash waved a hand flippantly.

    Krash: "Go on then."

    Michelle Kelly: "Let's begin with what started your night - after nineteen minutes of harsh, back and forth action, you defeated one of CWA's greatest talents, and a man you know very well, in Cyrus Truth, to cement your place in the Gold Rush finals. How do you feel?"


    Krash coughed twice, shifting his weight in the sand.

    Krash: "It's weird. I feel like I should be jumping for joy, overcome with victory, after putting away someone I never could in a CWA ring. A win over Cyrus Truth? That's something that, in any other circumstances, I'd be up all night about. You know the shortlist of people who have beaten Cyrus Truth in a CWA ring, one-on-one? It's not a very long list. The man is intensity personified, a beast who holds his own lead. Sure, we faced in FWA, and sure, I beat him just as barely, but it's not the same. This is CWA. My home and Cyrus's. Despite such, I don't feel celebratory, Michelle. I don't think I'm able to. Instead of feeling adulation, I feel... I feel something akin to dread. Like I've gone deep-sea diving, jumped off the boat with glee, but when I resurfaced the boat is nowhere to be seen, I'm in open water, and I've realized I don't know how to swim. Because with this victory, this wonderful, terrible, victory over Cyrus, I've just signed up to dive into the deep end. And I knew all along, if I did beat Cyrus, I'd be sinking into those muddied waters, but now that it's real... Now that there's a shark staring me in the face... I don't feel overjoyed or delighted. I don't feel celebratory. I feel like if I don't start swimming, I'm going to be dragged under the waves, and if I do, I'm going to be dragged under by a bloodthirsty killer."

    Michelle nodded, leaning back as a slightly bigger wave came and washed over her sandals.

    Michelle Kelly: "And that leads into your next match, the finals of the Gold Rush tournament, the chance to crown a new, possibly last, CWA World Heavyweight Champion. You got there by beating Cyrus, and earlier tonight your opponent, Shawn Summers, caused Jon Snowmantashi - one of, if not the, most dominant men to ever step foot into CWA - to pass out, and punch his ticket to the finals. You and Shawn have clashed in the past, directly or indirectly, so what's the plan when the bell rings between you two?"

    Krash: "Survive. That's the plan, Michelle. Survive. Bide my time, pick my spots, and wait for his anger and impatience to get the best of him. I know how Shawn operates, Michelle. He's someone who can pinpoint on a perceived weakness, and rip at it until it's beyond repair. You saw it with Snowmantashi earlier, how he saw Jon Snowmantashi make one misstep, tweak his ankle just enough, and that was it. The story was already written at that point. Summers pounces, and ripped at Snowmantashi's ankle until there was nothing left. Already, the knowledge of how easily he can zero in on a weakness is uncanny. But you know the real kicker, Michelle? I've already got a bad neck. Cyrus Truth saw to that. And if I know it, Shawn sure as hell knows it. So what I have to do is avoid his grasp, avoid playing his game, because if it comes down to who has the better technical prowess, who has the better submission game? Shawn Summers will absolutely murder me. No bones about it. So I'll have to be quick, I'll have to be agile. Which luckily for me, I'm very good at. Very slim, very lanky, as you can see. And I know for a fact that the longer the match goes without Shawn playing his game, the more likely it is that he'll get frustrated, let his anger get the better of him, start making mistakes, leaving openings - which is the best chance I have of swooping in, quick and slick, keeping him out of his game, and luring him into mine. Of course, there is one very big problem with this scenario, in that these... Bursts of offense, speed and agile, that I'll be relying on... There's a limit to how much I can do. Normally, yeah, go all out, no problem. But for me, no matter how I do against Summers, if I survive in one piece or if he catches me between his teeth and eats me alive... My night isn't over."

    Michelle Kelly: "No, it isn't. Which leads me to tonight's main event. You and Alyster Black, the Gang Stars, defend your CWA Tag Team Championships against Trevor Ocean and Noah Stocke, The Division. This will be your third match of the night - Three-Match Krash, they say-"

    Krash: "Please don't make that nickname stick."

    Michelle Kelly: "Three-Match Krash."

    Krash cringed, shooting Michelle a glare.

    Krash: "Michelle-"

    Michelle Kelly:"It's catchy."

    Krash: "It's not."

    Michelle Kelly: "So Three-Match Krash-"

    Krash: "Godamnit."

    Michelle Kelly: "-With the knowledge that no matter if you survive Shawn Summers or not, you still have one more match to go for the night, how will you endure the Division after you just had a doubtless gruelling match with Shawn Summers?"

    Krash: "... I don't know, Michelle."


    There was a long pause. Finally, Krash took his eyes off of the horizon, giving Michelle his full attention. The smile was gone, replaced by an anxious frown.

    Krash: "I know that's not the spicy answer you're looking for, and I do apologize for that, Michelle, but I honestly don't know. What I do know, is that after Cyrus Truth, I'm barely in a position to dance, let alone fight Shawn Summers. After Cyrus Truth AND Shawn Summers... I don't know how, or if, I'll even be able to walk. Let alone fight The Division, two people who put tag team action back on the map. Two people with more chemistry than married couples do. How on earth am I going to survive Trevor Ocean and Noah Stocke, after everything else? I'll be spent, Michelle. I'll be running on fumes long before the match begins. If Shawn hurts me that badly, which there's a very, very strong possibility he will, simply from his own desire to succeed, then it might have to be a handicap match for Alyster. And he hates those. Like, a lot."

    Michelle Kelly: "So do you believe you'll have to rely on Alyster to do the heavy lifting in the main event?"

    Krash: "It's a possibility. But... But I refuse to be dead weight to Alyster. I don't know how, but I refuse to let The Division have easy pickings on a man whose had the life beaten out of him. No matter how my match with Shawn Summers plays out, I will not leave Alyster to fight our battles alone. He's my tag partner. He's my best friend. He accepted me, long before anyone else did. If I have to sell my soul to the devil to help out just that little bit more, then it's a good thing I've got him on speed dial. I owe Alyster that much."


    Turning his attention back to to cool waves, Krash fell silent. A cool silence reigned, as Michelle Kelly got back to her feet, wiping sand from her jeans.

    Michelle Kelly: "You have a tough night ahead of you, Krash. No sugar-coating it, it's going to be rough. But I hope you get to the end in one piece. Can I ask one more question? Off the record? Not relating to CWA, just two old friends, catching up?"

    Krash: "Of course, Michelle. What's on your mind?"

    Michelle Kelly: "Are you... are you okay?"

    There was no answer, save for the radio in the distance playing sweet nothings. Seconds passed, and after a brief hesitation, Michelle placed her palm on Krash's shoulder, squeezing it gently, reassuringly. Getting no response, verbal or otherwise, she turned, and began trudging up the beach... Until Krash spoke up.

    Krash: "This is open water, Michelle. And if I drown..."

    He turned, and gave Michelle an uneasy smile.

    Krash: "At least I'm drowning in a place I once called home."

    With that, he turned back to the horizon. Michelle Kelly wavered, hesitating, before she retreated, and we fade to black...

    *****

    "Jailhouse Blues” | Lightin’ Hopkins.
    Spoiler:


    A wrestling ring with black ring ropes, standing empty in the middle of a beach, appears on the screen …

    … men - large men, men of work, South Pacific Islanders who are no strangers to labour - begin to toil around the ring …

    … large metallic meshing is soldered onto a heavy iron frame …

    … the cage is tall, wide, encapsulating the ring and an area a couple of metres in width around it. The steel steps are inside the structure, the sun beating down on it as the men continue in their work upon scaffolding …

    … heavy chain links are pulled together around a convex octagonal frame, machinery eventually employed to hoist it up and onto the top of the structure to constitute a roof …

    … the men sit back and look up at the unforgiving cell that they’ve just put together. We view it from behind one of their shoulders, as the man in the foreground of the image lifts a well-earned beer to his lips. He nods his head in appreciation of his own work …



    The Jailhouse Blues cage is halfway lowered. The unique steel structure is big enough to surround the entire ring. The cell has a ceiling and there’s no means of escaping unless you’re eliminated or every other team has been eliminated.

    Jim Taylor: “Up next we have a first ever Jailhouse Blues match and it’s exclusively here at CWA: South Pacific.”

    Tim Coleman: “Two non-aligned men will start in the match for a five minute period. Then, a third man, drawn entirely at random, will enter the match. Every three minutes thereafter another randomly drawn competitor will enter the match. Pinfalls and submissions can ONLY take place when all six men have entered the match. Only when BOTH members of two teams have been eliminated will the remaining team be named the number one contender… and go on to face the winners of The Gang Stars and The Division at CWA’s fall extravaganza...”

    Jim Taylor: “And that victor gets a shot the CWA World Tag Team Championship which will be decided in our main event tonight between The Gang Stars and The Division.”

    Lindsay Monaghan: “This next contest is a number one contendership match for the CWA World Tag Team Championships to be contested in the first ever Jailhouse Blues match to a sixty minute time limit. The winner will only be decided when both members of two teams have been eliminated!”


    “Wynona's Big Brown Beaver” | Primus.
    Spoiler:

    Ethan Conner is out on the stage with his brother Drew Conner. They swagger through the center of the stage and enjoy the most negative reaction you’re like to see all night. It seems to fill both men with confidence even eyeing the structure that’s descended to surround the ring. Drew massages Ethan’s back and offers some words of encouragement before Ethan makes his way down to the ring. He berates the fans all along the way and isn’t afraid to offer a sparring crotch chop or two to nearby fans.

    Lindsay Monaghan: “Introducing first, weighing in at one hundred and seventy-eight pounds. He’s not locked in a cage with you, you’re locking in a cage with him. From Gainsville Georgia by way of your mother’s bedroom, he is one half of The Echo… ETHAN CONNER!”

    Jim Taylor: “Two time CWA Tag Team Champions. One of the longest reigns in CWA history. The Echo have to be the favorite going into this Jailhouse Blues match given their accolades.”

    Tim Coleman: “But this is a different kind of match, Jim. Ethan Conner could be on his own without any help for fourteen minutes before Drew Conner is even out here.”

    Jim Taylor: “Still, the Conner brothers are extremely motivated to come out of tonight with the number one contendership in hand. They do not believe they should even have to compete for a title shot. Some might say, they’re already looking ahead to either The Gang Stars or The Division.”


    The younger Conner nods his head at the introduction as he becomes the first man - official aside - to have entered a Jailhouse Blues cage. He climbs into the ring and takes his time climbing each turnbuckle and shouting out insults towards the crowd.

    "Gang" | Max P.
    Spoiler:

    Jermaine Creed steps through the curtains and bounces his head to the melodic tunes of Max P! He mouths each lyric, having inevitable listened to it a thousand times before. Oddly enough, Murder Inc. seems to have gathered a following of fans who are eager to bark out “GANG GANG GANG” along to the track.

    Lindasy Monaghan: “And his opponent, weighing in at two hundred and one pound. From Quebec City, Quebec, Canada. He is one half of Murder Inc… JERMAINE CREED!”

    Jim Taylor: “Murder Inc. have not wrestled many matches in the CWA. They are undoubtedly the least decorated in the major leagues between these three teams, but they’ve gathered a very impressive reputation on the independents. Tonight, they’re determined to prove they’re not just one of the best teams on the independent scene but that they can compete with the best of a company as prestigious as the CWA.”

    Tim Coleman: “They’ve seemed completely focused on this match here at South Pacific since it was announced. And unlike the other two teams in this match, probably haven’t had many distractions outside of getting ready for this.”

    Jim Taylor: “As with Ethan Conner we can expect Creed to have to adjust to a different environment here, not just a Jailhouse Blues but like you mentioned, he will be without some help for at least five minutes if not more. They’ve got to prepare themselves for a long night.”


    Match Four.
    CWA World Tag Team Championship #1 Contender's Match: JAILHOUSE RULES.
    THE ECHO (Ethan and Drew Connor) vs. THE UNDISPUTED ALLIANCE (Nate Savage and Jackson Fenix) vs. MURDER, INC. (Jermaine Creed and Kendrick Lethal).
    (5/--)

    Ethan Conner and Jermaine Creed square off. Though Ethan might ordinarily start with some mind games, the Jailhouse Blues isn’t the sort of tag team match he’s used to wrestling. There’s one big aspect that makes this match different, Drew Conner’s not around to have his back. The pair lock up and Creed is immediately able to get a waist lock. Ethan rushes to the ropes to bounce off it and onto his back. He rolls through out of the waist lock and gets to his feet behind a seated up Creed. CROTCH CHOP RIGHT BEHIND CREED’S HEAD. Creed’s not pleased at all, jumps to his feet and DECKS CONNER RIGHT IN THE JAW. He grabs Ethan by the hair and drags him closer to the middle of the ring. He signals to the crowd, runs opposite ropes, bounces, hustles past dazed Ethan, hops onto the top rope in a single bound, hops off that into the steel structure, and MOONSAULTS ONTO ETHAN’S SUPER KICK! It was far too early for such a high risk maneuver.

    Jim Taylor: “Ethan Conner begins the superkick party early here in South Pacific. That’s one on the counter.”

    Tim Coleman: “Jermaine Creed’s going to be in for a long night if he’s recklessly taking risk like that. If there were pinfalls or submissions allowed this early, he could already be out of it.”


    Ethan Conner once again takes his time to crotch chop amidst the crowd’s shock. Creed still has enough about him to slowly roll out of the ring. Ethan notices it and shakes his head. He sprints towards opposite ropes, bounces off, SUICIDE DIVE RIGHT INTO THE STEEL WALL! Creed uses Conner’s momentum against him and the younger Echo wrecks himself against the cell. Creed takes a breath to recover. He grabs Ethan by the head and rams his head into the Jailhouse Blues’s bars. He uses all of his strength to toss him as viciously as he can into the wall but Ethan is able to wrap his fingers on the cell and catch himself. Creed doesn’t waste a second doubting himself and tugs at Ethan’s foot, causing him to lose balance and land jaw first into a JUMPING KNEE.

    Ethan crumples to the ground, his eyes glazed over momentarily. Creed’s not done building as much cushion as he can for himself and his partner as he can before anyone else enters the ring. He grabs Ethan, slots him between his legs, lifts him up for a power bomb but Ethan, realizing he’s in danger, desperately hammers away at Creed’s head. It’s enough to stop Creed’s momentum. Ethan maneuvers about Creed’s head, finding himself facing the opposite direction and lands a REVERSE FRANKENSTEINER, DRILLING CREED’S HEAD at ringside. Ethan, having enough of the dangers of ringside, and the nearness of the structure, slides back into the ring.

    Jim Taylor: “Neither of these two are taking it easy on each other. They’re trying to take everything out of their opponent to make it easy for their partners when they get in. Though I think Ethan is already starting to appreciate the impact the Jailhouse Blues will have on this match."

    Creed struggles up to his feet at ringside. He climbs onto the apron and then moves to the side in a split second. Ethan comes sliding onto the apron, an attempted drop kick avoided by his opponent. Creed attempts a jumping knee strike but Ethan is clever enough to block it. SUPER KICK? It’s a fake out! Ethan kicks Creed in the gut while he tries to protect his face. He jumps onto Creed’s back - SUNSET FLIP POWERBOMB ONTO THE APRON! Creed falls onto ringside while Ethan recovers on the apron, a proud smarmy smile on his face. He chuckles at the camera and dusts his hands off. “This is too easy” he announces, as him and his brothers have many times before. He gets up slowly and walks to the far side of the apron. He gestures for Creed to get up but it’s an admittedly slow process. Still, when he does, ETHAN COMES BARRELING THROUGH WITH A CANNONBALL OF A SUICIDE DIVE. They both go flying over the steel steps and crash into the steel.

    Tim Coleman: “That’s reckless behavior, Jim. You have to question not taking it a bit slower here to each other’s benefit.”

    Jim Taylor: “Ethan Conner has never taken anything slow, Tim. And Jermaine Creed seems like he’s not the sort to ever not give it his all.”


    The two high flyers struggle for the moment, the move taking quite a bit out of Ethan though not nearly as much as it did of Creed. Lying on top of Creed, though still too tired to get up, Ethan at least has enough energy for a weak CROTCH CHOP! That seems to incense Creed who musters up his own energy to wrap his legs around Ethan on top of him, and then wrap his arms around his head for a sleeper hold. Ethan is caught off guard by the submission and reaches out desperately but he’s in a very bad spot. He starts throwing wild elbows, but it’s a back headbutt that gets Creed to put an end to the sleeper hold. Ethan hurries out of there as soon as he can. But halfway through crawling away, he seems to get suddenly pissed off. He gets to his feet, climbs the apron… and then the turnbuckle. Creed still hasn’t moved from being part way on the steps, part way against the structure, and part against ringside. Ethan Conner leaps SKY HIGH - DOUBLE FOOT STOMP FLATTENS CREED’S GUTS.

    Ethan Conner lies there again but rolls out of the way. Creed looks quite finished for the moment but Ethan’s not so stupid as to risk letting his guard down again. After a breather, Ethan grabs Creed who can barely stand up and slides him into the ring. He begins to scavenge underneath the ring and pulls out a steel chair. He smacks it against the apron multiple times to psyche himself up and slides into the ring. He’s got the chair held high up enough that he doesn’t seen Creed holding an arm to his gut but leaning on the ropes and on his two feet. Creed charges in - JUMPING REVERSE STO! CONNER’S HEAD BOUNCES HARD AGAINST HIS OWN STEEL CHAIR! The two men lay back to the mat as the countdown for the next entrant begins…

    Jim Taylor: “Five minutes have passed. Who is going to be out next?”

    Tim Coleman: “There’s two options both of these men are hoping for - a - that it’s their partner, or b - that it’s not the other man’s partner.”

    5…

    4…

    3…

    2…

    1…

    "Bow Down" | I Prevail.
    Spoiler:


    Jim Taylor: “While I’m sure both these men are happy it’s not the other’s partner, I think Nate Savage is not someone you’re ever excited to see make their way to the ring against you.”

    Tim Coleman: “A two time High Voltage Champion, Nate Savage is vying for his first CWA Tag Team Championship here. He participated in the Gold Rush but despite some impressive performances, could not make it through to the semi-finals. I don’t think he wants to miss out on gold twice in a short span of time.”


    Arguably the last man either of these two would want to see right now. “Nasty” Nate Savage has a history of great brutality in a caged structure, and his nickname certainly isn’t for show. Savage doesn’t seem particularly hurried to get to the ring but he definitely walks with a purpose. The Jailhouse Blues is opened for Savage. He climbs up the steel steps and discovers Creed trying to take the fight to him. He hops over the top and charges at him for a hurricanranna but Savage uses his strength to keep hold of Creed. He lifts him up and Creed’s eyes widen as he’s POWERBOMBED ONTO THE APRON. He falls right off, arcing his back and nearly crying at the ferocity of it. Savage isn’t done. He drags Creed right back up, lifts him up for another POWERBOMB INTO THE STEEL CAGE. Savage looks down at Creed with disdain and then starts to get in the ring… but then seems to reconsider. He gets off the apron, grabs Creed and chucks him into the steel steps, positioning him there. He walks away and everyone who’s watched a Savage match knows whats coming next, Savage charges in furiously and HITS CANNONBALL SENTON CRUSHING CREED BETWEEN HIS TWO HUNDRED AND SIXTY SIX POUNDS AND THOSE STEEL STEPS.

    Jim Taylor: “Nate Savage has completely taken apart Jermaine Creed.”

    Tim Coleman: “It’s those early risks, Jim. Creed put himself in a very vulnerable position and Nate Savage is the LAST man you want to be vulnerable again. He has no mercy.”


    “Nasty” Nate who can be quite subdued, spits out proclamations that he’s going to pick his opponents apart. He gives one last glance to the half-dead Creed he’s left behind and climbs the apron again - SUPERKICK! Savage just manages to hold onto the rope and doesn’t quite fall off. Ethan shows a hint of fear as he takes a step back and goes for another SUPERKICK! But this time Savage is up to the task of catching it. He shoves Ethan back enough to give himself room to get in the ring. Ethan changes his plans and tries to rush to grab the steel chair but Savage steps on it. Ethan puts on an innocent smile but Savage has not much use for that. Nate kicks the chair away and Ethan begs for mercy. Savage doesn’t give it a second of consideration, driving his thigh into Ethan’s face. He lifts him up easily and shoves him towards the ropes, turning him inside out with a DISCUSS ELBOW SMASH! Ethan flips over on the impact.

    Nate circles about Ethan and gets him to his feet again. He traps his arms, lifts him up and plants him with the PACKAGE FALLAWAY POWERBOMB. It’s all power offense for “Nasty” Nate who couldn’t be more in control if he wants to be. He looks over his shoulder to see Creed struggling to slide in the ring. Savage decides to assist him, dragging him like a school boy into the squared circle and then sending him flying out on the opposite side of the ring. He turns back to Ethan and slowly gets him to his feet. Ethan is begging for some reprieve and for the countdown to close. Savage whips him towards the turnbuckle but Ethan flashes his trademark athleticism and manages to make his way to the top of it instead of crashing in. Savage charges at him but Ethan backflips, only briefly stumbling - and yet that stumble is enough a SPINNING FOREARM SMASH ONCE AGAIN KILLS HIS SENSE OF ORIENTATION.

    “Nasty” Nate decides to turn his attention away from Ethan seeing as the countdown is closing in on him and the three minute mark is nearing it’s end.

    5…

    4…

    3…

    2…

    1…

    "Bow Down" | I Prevail.
    Spoiler:


    Jim Taylor: “Nate Savage looks pretty happy right now.”

    Tim Coleman: “As if he needed any more help. The Undisputed Alliance are in the perfect position to hurt these two as much as possible before they get reinforcement.”

    Jim Taylor: “And they already look like they’ve been put through the ringer thanks to each other but most of all Nate Savage who is showing you all why they call him “Nasty” Nate today.”


    It’s a rare moment to see a smile on “Nasty” Nate’s face but there it is. Both Creed and Ethan have a look of sheer despair for what they’ll have to endure for three minutes here. Jackson Fenix is out look as gleeful as you’ll ever see the Sin City Bad Boy. Fenix is in even less of a hurry as Nate was and has fun talking a lot of shit on his way there. The door is opened for Fenix to step into the cage. He’s only in momentary awe of the Jailhouse Blues cell before he walks around the ring to spot Jermaine Creed. He points at Creed, does a hip thrusts and SUPERKICK ME BABY ONE MORE TIME. Creed flops to the ground at ringside. Fenix slides into the ring and bumps fists with Nate Savage. Once again, he points at Ethan Conner who has been allowed to struggle to his feet and gives him a CROTCH CHOP BEFORE HITTING ANOTHER SUPERKICK ME BABY ONE MORE TIME!

    Jim Taylor: “Jackson Fenix is showing he is also a frequent attendee of the Superkick Party scene. Already logging in two super kicks tonight.”

    Tim Coleman: “I haven’t been counting but we must be racing towards McGinnis’s superkick record in a match, surely?”


    Savage who has briefly relaxed in the corner to allow Fenix his fun, decides it’s time to go into overdrive. He roughly gets Ethan back to his feet and lifts him up for a vertical back drop onto Fenix’s knees. Ethan bounces off Fenix’s knees, holding his back but Savage gets him straight back to his feet. He lifts him up for an atomic drop and - CROTCH CHOP - SUPERKICK ME BABY ONE MORE TIME takes Ethan’s head off! This time it’s Fenix who shows a lack of remorse and immediately hustles back onto the offense. He gets Ethan to his feet and hits a SNAP DRAGON SUPLEX TO PLANT ETHAN NECK FIRST! Ethan rolls onto his knees though with barely any awareness and is struck in the skull with a BICYCLE KNEE, Fenix’s trademark Double Shot!

    Fenix and Savage have a few words and seem to decide they’ve dealt enough damage to the younger Conner and turn their attention to the Murder Inc member Jermaine Creed. Ethan is kicked out of the ring by Fenix while Savage slides outside of it to dig underneath the ring. He grabs a table and nods to himself. Both men’s momentary distraction may be Creed’s only hope of surviving whatever they have in mind for him. Jermaine Creed hops on the apron and SPRINGBOARD CLOTHESLINES FENIX. He kips up immediately and rushes at Savage who’s come to Fenix’s aid - HIGH KNEE ROCKS SAVAGE.

    Creed hustles towards Fenix and tries to whip him into the corner but it’s reversed and he finds himself there instead. Fenix charges at him but Creed hits a low drop kick causing Fenix to fall onto the middle turnbuckle. He kicks at Fenix’s head to cause him to stumble back and leaps onto the turnbuckle. He leaps off immediately again for a crossbody - SUPERKICK ME BABY ONE MORE TIME! All that momentum is gone in a heartbeat. Once again, Creed finds his aerial adventures put to a halt by a boot right to the jaw. Savage massages his jaw but goes back to their initial plans, grabbing the table he’d brought out and setting it up dead center of the ring.

    Jim Taylor: “Jermaine Creed has seen his high risk offense come to bite him a few times tonight. You think he ever slows down?”

    Tim Coleman: “If he doesn’t. I think he won’t be able to get up by the time his partner arrives in this match. You have to be ready for those superkicks or your head’s going to fly off.”


    Fenix lifts Creed to his feet but gets struck with a jab to the gut. Savage is incensed by the relentless effort and alongside Fenix begins clobbering at the man. Wild fists, elbow strikes, and hard boots. Once Creed’s resistance finally becomes non existent, they bring him up to his feet. Savage drags him over to the table but once again Creed lights up and drives a forearm to Savage’s chest. Savage brushes it off and shoves Creed away right into another SUPERKICK ME BABY ONE MORE TIME! Creed drops dead but the countdown begins once more to even the odds for at least one of The Undisputed Alliance’s two preys.

    5…

    4…

    3…

    2…

    1…

    “Wynona's Big Brown Beaver” | Primus.
    Spoiler:


    Jim Taylor: “Ethan Conner has to be completely relieved but I think Jermaine Creed is the one who was desperate for some help here. Drew’s not going to be in a hurry to prevent what’s happening to him.”

    Tim Coleman: “If there’s one thing that will reassure Jermaine Creed is that the next time three minutes runs up, he’ll finally know he’s got help coming. But the question is, will it be too little, too late?”


    It’s Drew Conner! The elder Conner brother looks pissed off at what Ethan’s had to endure so far but also patiently walks down the ring, getting rid of his gear. Savage and Fenix decide to take advantage of his lackadaisical pace. Savage and Fenix climb the table and bring Creed along with him. It’s all too obvious what they’re planning as Savage has Creed up on his shoulder. Fenix hip thrusts and UNDISPUTED ENDING THROUGH THE TABLE! Creed lies on the debris, not moving an inch. Savage and Fenix turn their gaze to Drew who is entering the Jailhouse Blues. He stares up at the ring with The Undisputed Alliance urging him in. He gingerly climbs the steel steps but stops at the ropes. They urge him into the ring, so he slowly tries to get in then steps right out when they start to pounce. He shakes his head and CROTCH CHOP. Fenix won’t accept it, he goes for his own crotch chop but is spun around - SUPERKICK FROM ETHAN! Savage spins around to find younger Conner is in the ring.

    Drew hurries into the ring now and hits a drop kick right to the back of Savage’s leg. It gets him onto a knee and in perfect position for a CROTCH CHOP - TANDEM SUPERKICK! The Conner Brothers have turned the momentum of this match upside down in the span of a few moments and they’re quite eager to celebrate but perhaps now is not quite the time. Fenix charges in but they send him running on into the ropes. On the rebound, Drew catches him, holding him by the waist from behind, Ethan rushes in to catch Fenix on the way down, planting both knees into his chest. Ethan allows Fenix back into a vertical and roundhouse kicks him in the head. Fenix is spun around while Drew kicks him in the back of the leg to get him onto a knee. CROTCH CHOP - TANDEM SUPERKICK!

    Jim Taylor: “The Echo is reunited and that means only one thing, the superkick count is going to start skyrocketing.”

    Tim Coleman: “I know Fenix likes dishing those superkicks out but he definitely doesn’t like taking them, especially two at a time.”


    Savage is up on his feet and launches himself at Drew! Drew reminds everyone of his impressive athleticism and leaps over Savage RIGHT INTO AN ETHAN SUPERKICK! Savage is still on his feet though completely dazed, DREW SUPERKICK! IT’S A SUPERKICK PARTY IN VANUATU! Ethan hustles behind Nate Savage - BACKSTABBER! Savage bounces back to his feet and isn’t give a second to reach for his back, Drew jumps at Savage with a double knee driven to his chest as he falls back! Ethan and Drew once again rile up the crowd with crotch chops. Their celebrations are put to a halt when Jackson Fenix springboards into the ring from the apron and hits two knees to the back of The Echos heads.

    Jackson Fenix springs back to his feet with the same speed as The Echos. They flip him over, using his momentum against him to get him to a seated position. CROTCH CHOP! SUPERKICK - NO! Fenix has the wherewithal to fall back onto his back, then kip up. Back kick to Drew Conner. SPINNING HEEL KICK TO ETHAN! ETHAN DROPS! SLINGBLADE TO DREW CONNER! It’s Fenix’s turn to taunt again and he gyrates on the ground - CROTCH CHOP! CROTCH CHOP! CROTCH CHOP! He then remembers his partner and checks on Nate Savage. Alas, whatever momentum Fenix was banking on having over the fresher pairing is gone quite quickly as the countdown announces the last entrant and the beginning of eliminations.

    5…

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    3…

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    1…

    "Gang" | Max P.
    Spoiler:


    Jim Taylor: “Jermaine Creed can finally breathe a sigh of relief, although he hasn’t moved much since The Undisputed Alliance put him through a table earlier.”

    Tim Coleman: “You’re right, Jim. Lethal could well be realizing he might have to wrestle this match on his own.”


    Kendrick Lethal is out of the back in a sprint. The officials barely have time to open the Jailhouse Blues by the time Lethal is begging for entry. It gives Fenix enough time to get ready and right as Lethal is in the cage, Fenix goes for a diving crossbody only… to be caught! Lethal, set on giving Fenix a taste of his best friend’s medicine, gets him into a powerbomb position and launches him into the steel cage! He holds on however, and POWERBOMS FENIX ONTO THE APRON! Fenix is halfway on the ground but is still being held by Lethal! Lethal approaches the steel steps and POWERBOMBS FENIX A THIRD TIME!

    Lethal slides into the ring TANDEM SUPERKICK FROM THE ECHO! CROTCH CHOP! Lethal nearly falls to the ground but manages to regain his footing and charges into both men with a DOUBLE SPEAR! The Conners are torn in half as they roll out of the ring on either side. Lethal dusts off his shoulders and turns around to find “Nasty” Nate Savage getting to his feet. Savage isn’t at all detaired by the other sizable man in this match. The two jaw at each other as they approach the middle of the squared circle and once they meet, all bets are off. Lefts and rights go flying but neither relents against the strikes.

    Jim Taylor: “Kendrick Lethal and Nate Savage aren’t backing down from each other one bit.”

    Tim Coleman: “They were always going to be the key difference makers in this match. They’ve got the weight and height advantage on everyone else here. They’re agile. They’re powerful. And I think they want to prove who should be feared the most.”


    The fists become increasingly sloppy but no less vicious as they find themselves tangled up against the ropes then the turnbuckles in their attempts to get the better of each other. Eventually Nate is able to duck under one of Lethal’s wide fists and get behind him, PLANTING HIM WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX! Lethal is right back up however, ducks under a wild swing of Nate’s own and hits a BACK SUPLEX ON NATE! The two struggle back to their feet on opposite corners and rush in for simultaneous clotheslines! Neither refuse to get down. Savage and Lethal demand to know which of the pairing is stronger and rush to the ropes, rebounding and CRASHING INTO EACH OTHER WITH CLOTHESLINES! They fall to a knee momentarily, then spring back to their feet DISCUSS ELBOW SMASH FROM SAVAGE! Lethal rebounds off the ropes DISCUSS BIG BOOT!

    Savage and Lethal both roar to themselves, intending on going in for another collision in their test of resilience but the Conners have slide in - SUPERKICKS TO LETHAL AND SAVAGE. They both go faltering back to corners. The Conners find the opposite ends of those corners. CROTCH CHOP! CROTCH CHOP! CROTCH CHOP! ON THEIR WAY TO THE CORNERS - DISCUSS ELBOW SMASH AND DISCUSS BIG BOOT TURN THEM INSIDE OUT! Savage and Lethal glance at the Conners on the ground, then at each other, then at the ropes where Creed and Fenix just so happen to be - FENIX HITS A METEORA ON LETHAL, CREED WITH A METEORA ON Savage. Both men roll through, glance at each other SIMULTANEOUS HIGH KNEES AND THEY’RE BOTH OUT. It’s all out carnage in the Jailhouse Blues!

    Jim Taylor: “All six of these men are beating the absolute living crap out of each other for a shot at the CWA Tag Team Championship. Some of these men, I suspect, will not be walking very much these next few days.”

    Tim Coleman: “This is how important the CWA Tag Team Championship is to the tag teams here. You thought The Division versus The Gang Stars was going to be nuts, look at what these guys are willing to go through just for a shot. That’s why CWA’s always had the best tag team division in the world, Jim.”

    Jim Taylor: “Indisputably, Tim!”


    Of the six men to make it back to their feet, it’s Lethal who gets their first having been the freshest of any competitor. Lethal urges Creed on his feet and communicates his plans. He walks over to Nate Savage and struggles to get him on a vertical base. Still, he perseveres and lifts Savage onto his shoulder in a fireman carry. He positions himself towards Jermaine and tosses Nate up - ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO THE SKULL! Lethal drops down for the first pin here while Creed’s too dazed to do much but fall to his ass…

    ONE … TWO… THR -

    FENIX DIVES FOR THE SAVE BEFORE CREED CAN GET TO HIM! Lethal shakes his head as he slowly makes his way to his feet to stare down Jackson Fenix. Fenix looks quite unsure about having to face Lethal himself and waves him off but Lethal nabs him in for what looks like a suplex until - TANDEM SUPERKICKS FROM THE CONNER BROTHERS! Fenix manages to stumble out of Lethal’s grip but the man is still standing. The Echo and Fenix look at each other and despite the animosity between the three men, perhaps they see kindred spirits in each other for they all simultaneously crotch chop AND TRIPLE TANDEM SUPERKICK! Lethal falls onto his back this time, rolling out of the ring - AND TANDEM SUPERKICK TO FENIX! Well, there goes the short lived alliance!

    Jim Taylor: “For just a moment the Fenix Superkick Party came together with The Echo Superkick Party-”

    Tim Coleman: “BUT YOU SHOULD NEVER TRUST A CONNER, JIM! Fenix should’ve had a Superkick Me Baby One More Time to one of the Conners as soon as he could.”

    The Conner Brothers are back in control and try to get a lay of the land, there attention ends up on Nate Savage, one of the two big mens in this match but the one who has been here the longest. They drag him over to the ropes, drilling a few shots to the skull when he tries to resist and tie him up. “Nasty” Nate is completely helpless to get out of the ropes despite his struggles. CROTCH CHOP - ETHAN SUPERKICK! DREW SUPERKICK! Nate’s not struggling now! ETHAN SUPERKICK! DREW SUPERKICK! ETHAN SUPERKICK! DREW SUPERKICK! ETHAN SUPERKICK! DREW SUPERKICK! ETHAN SUPERKICK! ETHAN SUPERKICK! Drew’s gone out of the ring! ETHAN SUPERKICK! He’s grabbing a chair. ETHAN SUPERKICK! He slides back in. ETHAN SUPERKICK! HE PLACES IT IN FRONT OF NATE’S SKULL! ETHAN SUPERKICK! Nate doesn’t look like he’s moving at all.

    Jim Taylor: “HOLY MOLY! What was that, fourteen superkicks, Tim?”

    Tim Coleman: “Nate Savage looks like he’s been knocked out cold from that many superkicks, including that last one with the chair. It takes a lot to put down a big man like that, but I think fourteen superkicks oughtta do it.”


    The Echo untie him and drag him to the middle of the ring. They hit opposite turnbuckles and slowly climb it. Ethan Conner goes flying and HITS A 450 SPLASH ONTO NATE SAVAGE! It’s Drew’s turn now - but Fenix hits the ropes and causes Drew to fall onto his crotch. Ethan is momentarily shocked, and even further when Lethal suddenly slides back into the ring, charges across and clotheslines himself and Fenix over the ropes! Ethan yells at Drew to go through with the 450 Splash. Drew nods his head and shakes the cobwebs. He gets up on a vertical base on the turnbuckle, measures his opponents - CREED SPRINGBOARDS ON THE TURNBUCKLE WITH DREW - SPANISH FLY ONTO NATE SAVAGE! Ethan’s eyes are absolutely wide! He’s too stunned by what he’s seen to immediately react.

    He finally approaches Drew to check on him, dragging him out of the three man pile up. He slaps him a bit to wake him up but it’s not of much use. Ethan gets to his feet to see if he can cash in on the damage done to Savage or Creed but it’s not either of those men he should concern himself with. Lethal grabs him, lifts him up and PLANTS HIM WITH NON-CONSENSUAL MURDER, a vertical sit out side suplex slam! Lethal shoves Savage out of the ring and gets Creed up to his feet. Lethal gets Ethan Conner in between his thighs and lifts him up for a powerbomb, Creed shows his insane athleticism, even as drained as he is and catches the elevated Ethan with a Reverse Hurricanranna. Lethal goes to make sure the elderly Conner can’t interfere while Creed immediately transitions it into a pin with Ethan looking completely out of it.

    ONE… TWO… THR-

    ETHAN SPRINGS TO LIFE AND REVERSES THE PIN! LETHAL’S NOT LOOKING!

    ONE… TWO… THREE!

    JERMAINE CREED HAS BEEN ELIMINATED BY ETHAN CONNER!

    Jim Taylor: “Jermaine Creed lasted on his own from the beginning of the match until the last entrant. He put his body on the line. He’s gone through a table. He’s been through just about everything, but he’s let this match slip through his fingers thanks to the craftiness of Ethan Conner.”

    Tim Coleman: “If you’ve gone through what he’s gone through, you start to let your guard down, Jim. He’s gotta put his faith in the fresh man in this match, Kendrick Lethal.”


    Creed is completely shocked and so is Lethal! They had the advantage and they’ve absolutely fumbled it. Officials quickly urge Creed out of the ring and the smaller half of Murder Inc reluctantly obliges. Lethal turns his gaze onto Ethan Conner who may have had the wit to reverse the pin but doesn’t have much more gas left in him. Lethal grabs him and LOW BLOW! A desperation move from Ethan Conner to survive. Lethal grabs his crotch in pain - FENIX SLIDES INTO THE RING - CALIFORNIA DREAMIN’ ON LETHAL! Fenix springs to his feet - SUPERKICK FROM DREW CONNER! There is not a moment to rest with five men in the ring, formerly six. Drew shakes Ethan up and signals that it’s time for another wrestler in this match to go.

    Drew grabs Jackson Fenix and lifts him up in a piledriver position. Ethan goes onto the apron and readies himself. There’s no Nate Savage in sight. Lethal is out. Fenix tries to struggle - INDYTAKER! Fenix’s skull is drilled into the mat. They both dive on top of him…

    ONE… TWO… THREE!

    JACKSON FENIX HAS BEEN ELIMINATED BY THE ECHO!

    Jim Taylor: “And just like that, one third of the Superkick Party is out of it.”

    Tim Coleman: “The Indytaker is one of the most devastating tag team moves in professional wrestling. And you know why, Jim? Because it’s The Echo doing it. The Echo who are superkick your head a dozen, two dozen, three dozen times in a match, and then hit you with The Indytaker afterwards. Fenix knew he was in a tough spot but he couldn’t get out in time.”


    The Conner Brothers turn their focus to the other man in the ring with them - Kendrick Lethal. They lift him to his feet and Drew helps Ethan get Lethal up in piledriver position. Drew jumps out of the ring and gets ready to springboard. Lethal begins struggling and with the weight advantage reverses it into a PILEDRIVER OF HIS OWN! ETHAN’S SKULL HITS THE MAT SO HARD HE BOUNCES OFF. DREW HITS A SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK ON LETHAL and Ethan gets a bit of space. Lethal smartly rolls out of the ring but he’s replaced by “Nasty” Nate who has a steel chair used earlier in the match in hand. He clobbers Drew in the skull and the Conner goes down in a heap. He smacks it OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN ACROSS DREW’S BACK and then kicks him out of the ring.

    Jim Taylor: “Nate is going off the deep end. He’s just broken Drew Conner! Perhaps avenging Jackson Fenix.”

    Nate sets the chair up in a proper position and turns his focus to Ethan Conner. He gets him to his feet, places him between both legs, traps his arms, gets him up - SAVAGED ONTO THE STEEL CHAIR! ETHAN CONNER IS UNMOVING! Savage hooks the leg!

    Tim Coleman: “I’m sorry. He’s not getting up from that. My god.”

    ONE… TWO… THREE!

    ETHAN CONNER HAS BEEN ELIMINATED BY NATE SAVAGE!

    Nate Savage falls onto his back, granting himself just about a split second of breather before a METEOR STAR SPLASH FROM LETHAL PANCAKES HIM IN THE CENTER OF THE RING! Lethal hooks the leg!

    Tim Coleman: “WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?”

    Jim Taylor: “THAT’S TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY POUNDS OF MUSCLE RAINING DOWN HERE IN SOUTH PACIFIC”


    ONE… TWO… THREE!

    NATE SAVAGE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED BY KENDRICK LETHAL!

    THE UNDISPUTED ALLIANCE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!


    Jim Taylor: “We have our first eliminated team of the Jailhouse Blues match. The Undisputed Alliance gave it their all, but the late advantage both the Murder Inc and The Echo have ended up paying off.”

    Tim Coleman: “I’m not sure The Undisputed Alliance will be too disappointed with when they entered the match, but they might have wished to do more damage while they had the chance.”

    Jim Taylor: “And that’s considering the amount they did put Creed and Ethan through.”

    Drew Conner and Kendrick Lethal are now the last two men left although both Ethan and Nate are far too gone to be out of the cage yet. Drew Conner struggles into the ring while Lethal waits in an opposite corner, having his own wounds to lick. Once he’s satisfied though, he walks over to Drew and locks the man in for what looks like the Lethal Injection but just as he’s about to do it - SUPERKICK! Ethan Conner falls down right after his superkick, having had barely the energy to do that. Drew gets away from Lethal - SUPERKICK! Lethal doubles over, Drew hops on top - CANADIAN DESTR- NO LETHAL HOLDS ONTO THE ROPES! Drew falls over on his own! He tries to regain his footing, slightly bent, Lethal charges at him - LETHAL INJECTION! Ethan is right next to them as Lethal goes for the pin but he’s out and has no energy to contest the count.

    ONE… TWO… THREE!

    DREW CONNER HAS BEEN ELIMINATED BY KENDRICK LETHAL!

    THE ECHO HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

    Result
    Murder, Inc., last eliminating Drew Conner via pin fall at 23:18.

    Jim Taylor: “Murder Inc. have established themselves tonight as a tag team worthy of attention.”

    Tim Coleman: “They competed against two of the best tag teams in the world and they showed that they belong. They are going to be competing for the CWA Tag Team Championship… and if they thought tonight was tough… they’ve gotta be ready for what’s going to come next.”

    Jim Taylor: “Jermaine Creed is back out to join Kendrick Lethal in the cage. Lethal has to be commended for sealing the deal but Creed put his body on the line and had to go the longest without a partner.”

    Tim Coleman: “No one knew how to prepare for a match like the Jailhouse Blues, Tim. Not even the Echo or The Undisputed Alliance were ready for what this match entailed.”


    The Echo are far too broken and battered to even be outraged at the result of the match. They both look quite out of it at ringside. Undoubtedly we’ll hear their outrage at the result one day, but today they’re too tired for such demonstrations.

    In the ring, Jermaine Creed is lying down with Kendrick Lethal sitting next to him.

    Jim Taylor: “Murder Inc know some of what’s coming next but I think they’ll be content to enjoy their victory without thinking too much about the future.”

    *****

    As the debris is cleared following the Jailhouse Blues match, the camera settles on the commentators once more.

    Jim Taylor: "And now that we know that Murder, Inc. are the next tag team in line for a shot at the CWA World Tag Team Championships, it's time to shift gears slightly. Tim, it's time for the Heart of Darkness match..."

    Tim Coleman: "And if you're anything like me, Jim, you'll know next to nothing about what this match entails!!"

    Jim Taylor: "Well, it's funny you should say that Tim, because just before we came on air tonight I was possessed by the Mother of Ravens herself. I was able to see some of her mind, and I'm lead to believe this match will feature the Vanuatu rainforest and a deep trek into the deepest recesses of one's own self..."

    Tim Coleman: "... I still know next to nothing about what this match entails!!"

    Jim Taylor: "It all started back at One Night Only, when Lilith took it upon herself to attack Michelle von Horrowitz following her High Voltage Tournament victory. Since then, MvH has found herself the subject of Lilith's mind games, particularly at the climax of the recent Gold Rush tournament. And now it's time, ladies and gentlemen, for... whatever it is that we are about to see..."


    *****

    Match Five.
    'Heart of Darkness' Match.
    LILITH vs. MICHELLE von HORROWITZ.
    (1/--)

    Michelle von Horrowitz lies on an inflatable chair in a swimsuit. A bottle of Heineken rests in her drinks holder. She yawns, as if the very act of doing nothing is exhausting. The hot Vanuatu sun beats down onto her. Seagulls can be heard calling out to one another in the distance, but other than that there is no living thing in view or within ear shot. The sea is calm. All is serene.

    Michelle sips at her Heineken, and adjusts her sunglasses. She puts her hands behind her head and stretches her legs.

    Slowly but surely, we begin to hear a sound. It seems remote and abstract at first, but soon enough amongst the general quiet of the scene it becomes more and more piercing. A soft, persistent hiss. It is a few more seconds before Michelle is aware of the noise, too.

    She is less at ease as she begins to look about herself, trying to determine the origins of the sound. She removes her sunglasses, and soon enough she realises that - somehow - her inflatable perch has developed a puncture.

    This hiss gathers speed, soon enough it’s a low roar. The chair visibly deflates.

    Our shot changes to below the water level, and we can see two legs and an arm protruding over the edge of the base of the inflatable. Before long, enough air has escaped that Michelle’s position is untenable. She emerges in full view in the water.

    A slow and LOUD sucking noise rings out. We begin to realise that the water has an odd current: that of a full basin slowly being drained. Michelle is caught in the flow. She kicks her legs, trying to reach the surface again, but she is being dragged further and further below the surface. The camera pans down, watching her swirl and swirl and swirl and swirl and swirl towards a plughole. She tries to clasp the sides, but she finds that she doesn’t have the strength. She disappears through the hole.

    She lands with a thud in a long tunnel. She stands to her feet and looks, first to the north and then to the south. She can hear a whistled tune from the northern path. As she cups around her ear with a hand and strains, she manages to pick up the melody. We do too. Charlie Chaplin’s Smile is being whistled somewhere nearby, becoming more remote, but echoing down the cave regardless.

    Michelle stands and, reaching out either side of her to feel the sides of the tunnel, she begins to travel north. Towards the whistler. The cave is little more than a hole in the ground. Very little has been done to make it presentable. The floor is wet mud, and a barefoot Michelle finds the going uncomfortable and disagreeable. It becomes narrower and darker as she goes. She finds herself singing along to the whistled melody as she goes.

    MvH:
    Smile, though your heart is aching...

    The cave turns towards the east, and Michelle has no choice but to follow it.

    MvH:
    Smile, even though it’s breaking…

    She stumbles over a stray rock that protrudes from the ground, and does her best to keep her balance. She succeeds, but just barely.

    MvH:
    When there are clouds in the sky… you’ll get by…

    She looks down at her foot, and notices a thin trickle of blood has emerged from it.

    ???:
    “Michelle…”

    A voice is whispered from the far end of the tunnel. It is unmistakable in its owner: the Mother of Ravens herself. Lilith. It seems distinct from the whistling, which continues as Michelle does too…

    MvH:
    If you smile through your fear and sorrow…

    The tunnel seems to be widening, slightly, and soon enough Michelle finds that she can’t reach the walls either side of her, even with her arms fully extended.

    MvH:
    Smile and maybe tomorrow…

    Michelle arrives, rather suddenly, at a door. It is colossal and made of stone and the only exit from a blocked path. A large, golden ring hangs from it, at about eye level from Michelle. She reaches out and strokes it, finding it cold.

    MvH:
    You’ll see the sun shining through…

    She pulls the handle, and is surprised to find that the door is light and comes to. She takes a hesitant step, suddenly not particularly willing to leave the safe confines of her grotty, muddy tunnel.

    MvH:
    ... for you.”

    We shift into a wide, expansive shot of a wide, expansive room. There are no windows anywhere. No natural light, and seemingly no artificial light either. The room remains oddly bright, though. Most striking is the fact that the walls, floor, and ceiling are made of gold brick. The camera pans around Michelle, and we can see no sign of a door on any of the walls around her. Not even the one she supposedly came through.

    Lilith
    “Familiar?”

    Michelle looks at the golden walls that surround her. Impervious and unmoving.

    Until they start moving.

    Slowly, with mechanical groans that seem to regurgitate from the bowels of the earth, the walls began to close in on her.

    She stood motionless in the centre of the room, accepting her fate. There didn’t really seem any point to resistance.

    Lilith:
    “Very good! Throw yourself in, as you say…”

    The walls are close enough for Michelle to reach out and touch them…

    … and suddenly the floor gives way…

    … and she is falling, falling, falling, until she lands in a heap with a thud.

    She stands up to find herself in some sort of forest. The coconut trees around her have all shed their fruit, which sit in clumps at her feet. She moves through the undergrowth, and hears a rustle toward her right.

    Lilith:
    “Go whichever way you want to go, Michelle…”

    She turns towards the source of the rustling, having given the voice up as something ethereal, and without physical location.

    Lilith: “... it all ends up in the same place, anyway…”

    Michelle emerges into a clearing and finds a man in military garb. He is handsome, and lifts his finger to his mouth as if to tell her to be quiet. The dog-tags around his neck read D. UNGER. He points towards the north. She nods in thanks, and follows his direction.

    Lilith:
    “Do as they say. This way. That way. Just nod and follow…”

    Michelle emerges into a clearing, and set in various positions amongst the flowers and the babbling brook are three doors. She recognises each of them, immediately. The one on the left was the front door to her suburban family home back in Rotterdam. The middle one was the 10C dorm room from her school in Lillie. And the one on the right was the shabby exterior door of her building in New Orleans, from when she’d first come to America to make a go of things in the CWA.

    Lilith:
    “They’re all the same, Michelle. Choose whichever…”

    Von Horrowitz takes a nervous step forward, towards the door on the left.

    Lilith:
    “It doesn’t really matter…”

    She reaches for the handle, and pulls it open…

    Inside is a busy interchange. She steps through the door, and finds herself on a street corner. It is some nameless American city. She thinks she has been here. She recognises some of the buildings. But there is no way of really knowing for sure. She steps towards the road and looks up at the sun.

    Lilith:
    “Remember?”

    Her eyes are drawn down to an SUV that is making its way towards her.

    Lilith:
    “Remember?”

    She recognises the man in the passenger seat. It is Gerald. Her Gerald. And the man in the driver’s seat is his brother. She recognises him from photographs. Never in the flesh but lots of photographs.

    Lilith:
    “Think hard.”

    Michelle lifts a hand, as if to wave…

    … and then a truck slams into the side of Gerald’s car, all but crushing the driver said. She realises what day it is instantly. She tries to run towards the car, but she trips…

    … and she falls …

    … and she lands in the clearing.

    Lilith:
    “You have to think hard.”

    She tries the left hand door again, but the handle comes off in her hand, and she now finds it locked.

    Through the middle door is a bedroom.

    She steps into it.

    On the bedside table is a photograph. A photograph of Chris Kennedy and Bell Connelly.

    She picks it up and looks at it, before placing it back down.

    She realises where she is immediately. She is in THEIR bedroom. It is some time before the Trios tournament (are we after the trios tournament now?). Downstairs, a discussion would be taking place. A bargain being struck. An agreement for partnership at the Warehouse, as well as shared details on a failed open challenge.

    Michelle is started by the sound of a door opening, and she places the photograph back on the table. She quickly hides in the cupboard, keeping it ajar so as to see into the room.

    Lilith:
    “Remember?”

    Michelle von Horrowitz watches as Michelle von Horrowitz walks into the room. She begins to look around, in awe. The hidden MvH, the present day MvH, remembers these events. She had used a visit to the bathroom as an excuse to snoop around in Bell’s quarters.

    The reflection… the memory… the whatever this is… moves over to the bedside table and picks up the photograph of Bell and Connelly. She shakes her head, as if in disgust, and places the photograph face-down. She storms out of the room.

    Lilith:
    “Remember?”

    Our protagonist emerges from her hiding place, and places the photo in an upright position, so as to not arouse any suspicion. She turns towards the door, but finds herself falling…

    She doesn’t remember tripping but she is falling…

    Lilith:
    “You MUST remember, Michelle!”

    She is back in the clearing. Bored, almost, Michelle opens the third door.

    Through it leaps a snow leopard.

    It landed in front of her.

    It was sitting back on its hind legs, regarding her with large, bright eyes, the effect from which seemed only amplified when their light was reflected off the snow. She placed her hands down either side of her, sitting up straight and inching backwards towards the hole from which she’d come. She could THIS IS FAMILIAR hear the water trickling out of the chamber and into the stream below, and carefully looked back at the falling surface level. She considered climbing back into it, but then - with a rumbling stomach THISISFAMILIAR and a bearing of its teeth - the leopard stood up onto its four paws and began to pad through the snow. Towards her.

    Michelle stared into the I REMEMBER THIS bold eyes of the animal as it brought its head closer towards her. She kept her own eyes wedged open, unwilling to even blink, transfixed and hypnotised by the approaching creature. Eventually, when its nose was only centimetres from her’s, it sniffed, its nostrils flaring as the THIS IS FAMILIAR beast took in her scent. It repeated this a total of four times before walking in a circle around her, and slowly treading its way through the snow, back into the forest.

    Michelle couldn’t remember when it had started snowing.

    Moments later the fire began. The trees were torn from the ground, and in an instant Michelle von Horrowitz found herself in a wasteland. Gnarled roots and fallen trees surrounded her. When she trod on the trunks, they turned into a powdery ash and blew away in the wind.

    The sky was black.

    The moon was red.

    In front of her, a figure in black stood waiting.

    Lilith:
    “You made it.”

    MvH:
    “Where am I?”

    Lilith shrugged, and smiled.

    Lilith:
    “You’re here.”

    The smile wasn’t unkind, Michelle thought.

    Lilith:
    “With me.”

    Michelle looks around herself. The moon is growing, and is more red by the second.

    MvH:
    “Aren’t we supposed to have a match?”

    A second moon rose behind Lilith. This one was white.

    MvH:
    “We are meant to have a match.”

    The white moon eclipses the red one.

    Lilith:
    “This is the match.”

    The white moon expands and eats the red moon.

    Lilith:
    “All of this is the match.”

    Michelle thinks for a moment.

    MvH:
    “That doesn’t mean anything.”

    A hard wind blew through the scene. It turned the remaining woodland debris into ash. It blew Lilith into a powder, too, and carried her away towards the white moon in the black sky.

    Michelle closes her eyes.

    When she opens them, she is underwater. She looks up, and notices that there is a stone ceiling above her, blocking the surface.

    She swims upwards, and finds a door. She begins to turn the wheel.

    Her breath becomes short.

    A scuba diver in a CWA official’s shirt arrives on the scene, and begins to count as Michelle desperately turns the wheel.

    ONE. TWO. THREE. FOUR. FIVE. SIX. SEVEN. EIGHT. NINE. TEN.

    A bell rings somewhere. The scuba diver waves her arms, signalling that it’s all over.

    And then the door opens, and Michelle pulls herself up out of her watery grave.

    She emerges in her locker room, through the enlargened plug hole in her shower. She sucks in a handful of deep, laboured breaths. In the doorway stands a referee.

    MvH:
    “Did I win?”

    The referee shrugs.
    Result: ???????????????????

    *****

    We return to the arena, and a silence has descended over the beach. The audience and the crowd seem to have hushed in response to the footage on the big screen.

    Five seconds pass.

    Ten seconds.

    ...

    Tim Coleman: "Um..."

    Jim Taylor: "I think... I think maybe we need a break..."

    *****



    Black Widow Wrestling presents Lost Treasures #1.
    Live from Hong Kong, China on Tuesday 5th October, 2021.

    From the Slammer, docked in the Port of Hong Kong.
    Announcers: Daniella Kennedy and Daphne Shelley.

    Matches Announced:
    Shannon O'Neal
    and Michelle von Horrowitz vs. Die Kraft (Olga Schmidt and Helga Müller).
    Violet Dreyer vs. Eimi Sanada.
    Ashley Adams vs. The Empress Bolade.

    More TBA...

    Black Widow Wrestling presents Lost Treasures #2.
    Live from Singapore on Friday 8th October, 2021.

    From the Slammer, docked in the Port of Singapore.
    Announcers: Daniella Kennedy and Daphe Shelley.

    Matches Announced:
    Yuna Funanori
    vs. Fantasy Girl (w/ Captain Fantasy).
    Gabrielle vs. The High Priestess of Bogota.
    Luna Piper
    vs. Violet Dreyer.
    "The Morrigan" Liyah Monroe vs. Charisma Trent.

    More TBA...

    Black Widow Wrestling presents Lost Treasures #3.
    Live from Bali, Indonesia on Sunday 10th October, 2021.

    From the Slammer, anchored three kilometres from Sanur Beach, Bali.
    Announcers: Daniella Kennedy and Daphne Shelley.

    Matches Announced:
    Kleio De Santos
    and Anzu Kurosawa vs. Olga the Ogre and Beth Sokurov.
    Nikki Albarn, Michelle von Horrowitz, and Yuna Funanori vs. The Empress Bolade and The Balinese Decepticons (Optimus and Prime).

    More TBA...

    Black Widow Wrestling presents Lost Treasures #4.
    Live from Port Moresby, Papua New Guinea on Thursday 14th October, 2021.

    From the Slammer, docked in Port Moresby Harbour.
    Announcers: Daniella Kennedy and Daphne Shelley.

    Matches Announced:
    Violet Dreyer
    and Yuna Funanori vs. Kafka Wave (The Castle and The Trial).
    Kleio De Santos vs. Anzu Kurosawa.
    Ashley Adams vs. Nikki Albarn vs. Gabrielle Montgomery vs. The Empress Bolade.
    Michelle von Horrowitz vs. Shannon O'Neal.
    Ai Kurayami and Eimi Sanada vs. Fox Hound (Sniper Wolf and Psycho Mantis).

    More TBA...

    *****

    After the familiar advert for BWW: Lost Treasures, the screen turns complete black.

    After a few moments, another very familiar imagine begins to fade into view.

    We can make it out moments before we really understand.

    CWA: FIVE-STAR ATTRACTION

    JUNE 4TH, 2022.

    *****

    Jim Taylor: "I think it's time for more Gold Rush action, Tim!"

    Cola | Lana del Rey.
    Spoiler:

    Surprisingly, there’s a mostly positive reaction for Shawn Summers as he emerges onto the stage. He surveys the people standing on the beach in their swimwear but barely registers their cheers, instead eventually locking his eyes onto the ring and beginning his descent to the ring.

    Jim Taylor:
    “Ladies and gentlemen, it is time! Thirty two matches have brought us this far, and now only two men remain… it’s the final of the Gold Rush!! And it is next!”

    Tim Coleman:
    “And what a final we have in front of us tonight. Before our show started, we had four men who embodied the Clique Wrestling Alliance at different points in their careers. Any permutation would’ve been an intriguing and worthy final, but there’s a certain allure about Summers versus Krash. Both now ply their trade full-time on the same brand of the same show… but it’s here in CWA that they’ll fight for the grandest title of them all!”

    Jim Taylor:
    “That’s right, Tim: Brayden Bridges is unfortunately not able to defend his belt later in the year at I Left My Wallet in El Segundo... and one of these two men will instead lead the CWA into this bright future!”

    Tim Coleman:
    “It was quite the ride to the finals for Shawn Summers, who is just now getting into the ring. Two losses to start his campaign left him teetering on the edge, but back-to-back victories against Humanity, Nate Savage, and finally the at that point undefeated Cyrus Truth. And earlier tonight he achieved the seemingly impossible… Jon Snowmantashi passed out and was unable to continue, giving Der Basterd his place in this final match-up…”

    Summers is in the ring, and he surveys the setting once more, looking out to sea and taking a deep breath. Finally, he watches the stage as his music fades away…

    Back in Town | Matt Dusk.
    Spoiler:

    Vanuatu pops hard for Krash, who comes out onto the stage with his CWA World Tag Team Championship on his shoulder. There’s still a smile on his face, but it seems less easy as he looks out on his adoring fans. At his side stands Alyster Black, the other half of the tag team champions, who has a belt of his own and nods approvingly at the beach audience. Together, the two begin to walk to the ring…

    Tim Coleman:
    “They are marching down to the ring together in solidarity, but there must be a large part of Alyster Black and Krash that fears the fact that they know Krash will be competing in three matches tonight…”

    Jim Taylor:
    “I think I measure a certain amount of apprehension in Krash’s eyes right now, Tim, but I’m pretty certain Alyster Black has no fear. He has undying belief in his tag team partner, and he looks assured enough for the both of them.”

    Tim Coleman:
    “That might be true, but Krash came through a tough battle with Cyrus Truth earlier in the evening, and now he has the God-King to contend with… and after that The Division! This might be too much for any man…”

    Jim Taylor:
    “Perhaps… but further history awaits The White Wolf if he is able to overcome the odds… and the CWA World Heavyweight Championship is a hell of a carrot to dangle…”

    Krash has climbed into the ring and occupies a corner whilst Alyster Black waits on the outside, leaning into the ring beneath the bottom rope and eyeing up Shawn Summers across the ring. Both men, Der Basterd and The White Wolf, are warming up as the official speaks to them each in turn. Lindsay Monaghan has climbed into the ring, and with a smile on her face she raises the microphone to her mouth…

    Lindsay Monaghan:
    “Ladies and gentlemen… the following contest, scheduled for one-fall and with a sixty minue time limit, is your Gold Rush tournament final… and is for the CWA World Heavyweight Championship!!”

    A huge cheer goes up, the official lifting the vacant belt into the air and parading it for all to see…

    Lindsay Monaghan:
    “Introducing first, in the corner to my left… from Melbourne, Australia… he weighs in tonight at two hundred and five pounds… he is a Wrestle Royale winner, a Five-Star Attraction Tournament winner, a CWA High Voltage Champion, a four-time - and current, reigning! - CWA World Tag Team Champion, a two-time CWA World Heavyweight Champion… he is ‘The White Wolf’... HE… IS… KRASH!”

    Another massive pop for The White Wolf.

    Lindsay Monaghan:
    "And his opponent… he weighs in tonight at two hundred and twenty five pounds… from Laguna Beach, California… he is a former CWA Pure Champion and a former CWA World Tag Team Champion… SHAWN SUMMERS!”

    A more mixed reaction for Der Basterd, but it is fair to say that there are more cheers than boos, his exploits in the tournament endearing a large proportion of the fans to his cause. He is pacing slightly now, anxious for the match to begin. Krash still stands motionless, and eyes up his opponent from across the ring with a grave, cautious look on his face. The official hands the belt out to the time-keeping area, and then, standing between the two opponents with a cauldron of noise surrounding him, he calls for the bell...

    Match Six.
    Gold Rush Tournament: Final Match.
    CWA World Heavyweight Championship.
    KRASH vs. SHAWN SUMMERS.
    (1/60)



    The two men stand on opposite sides of the ring from one another, the gravity of the situation dawning on them as they stand within the cauldron of noise being made by the moderate number of beach-dwelling audience members. Summers has a scowl on his face, as usual, as he regards The White Wolf. Krash, in turn, looks rather passive, and slightly paler than usual. The two of them look around themselves at their setting: at the white sand dunes on one side of them and at the azure blue ocean on the other. They regard the crowd, baying for action as they are, and then both sets of eyes fall upon the time-keepers area, and the prize that they fight for: the CWA World Heavyweight Championship.

    Jim Taylor:
    “It looks like both of these men sense the gravity of this situation… the world championship is about to be defended for the first time in years!!”

    Tim Coleman:
    “Krash… Shawn Summers… two men who, despite their current workplace, have always been loyal to the Clique Wrestling Alliance and what it stood for… and now one of them prepares to lead it into this new era!"

    Then, they come together. Summers wants to start things off with strikes, and propels a right hand in Krash’s direction. The White Wolf ducks beneath it and into a rear waistlock. He attempts to lift Summers up and over, but Der Basterd blocks it and then tries to wrench at Krash’s wrists to cause separation. Krash’s grip is strong, but Shawn is able to complete a quick ‘go behind’, and moves into a rear waistlock of his own. Summers follows up by throwing a few clubbing forearms into Krash’s lower back. Then, Summers bundles him forwards into the rope before rolling him up with an O’Conner roll!

    ONE… TWO… NO!

    Krash kicks out, and the two get to their feet (though, it must be said, a little more slowly than you’d usually expect at the start of the match, due to their exploits earlier in the night). They enter a brief stand-off… but Summers breaks this by sending a hard right hand into Krash’s face. The White Wolf is rocked back a step, and Summers immediately follows up with a pair of knife edge chops, and then a European uppercut! Krash is backed into the ropes, and Summers quickly whips him into the opposite set. He tries to take The White Wolf’s head off with a clothesline, but the tag champion ducks it and waits for Summers to turn around. He kicks Der Basterd in the midsection, applies a front facelock, and looks like he’s going for a spike DDT…

    Jim Taylor:
    “Krash going for one his trademark moves, here, but Summers wants nothing to do with it…”

    Tim Coleman:
    “A cagey affair he in the opening stretches…”

    … Summers senses the danger, and forces Krash back into a corner whilst still in the front face lock. Krash hits the turnbuckles and the hold is broken, and Summers follows up by kicking a mudhole into Krash’s sternum. Eventually, the White Wolf falls into a seated position. Summers continues with the stomps, and then takes his boot and places the soul in Krash’s throat. The White Wolf does the best to alleviate his misery, as does the referee, who is in to force a rope break. Summers accepts this at four, letting go of Krash and retreating into the middle of the ring.

    Jim Taylor:
    “Shawn Summers using every possible moment of that five-count before releasing Krash, pushing the rules to the limit…”

    Tim Coleman:
    “Did you expect anything else? This is Summers’ whole modus operandi, and you should anticipate him to use every advantage available to him..”

    Jim Taylor:
    “... and some that aren’t available to him, Tim!”

    Tim Coleman:
    “All in the game, Jim!”

    Krash uses the top rope to help himself up to his feet. He begins to circle the ring and looks at Summers, who has a sneer on his face. They come together, and this time they do indeed hook it up in a collar and elbow tie-up. They rook for supremacy in the middle of the ring, and it looks as if Summers has the upperhand… until Krash goes behind in a rapid-fire fashion and takes him down with a schoolboy! Summers’ shoulders are down…

    ONE… TWO… NO!

    This time it’s Summers’ turn to kick out…

    Jim Taylor:
    “Exchanging quick, sneaky roll-ups at the beginning of this encounter…”

    Tim Coleman:
    “Understandable from Krash, really. He knows that he has a third bout upcoming and will no doubt want to finish this one as quickly as possible…”

    The two are up to their feet quickly… only for Krash to connect with a rising knee! Summers stumbles backwards and Krash boots him in the midsection. Summers is doubled over, and Krash places him in a front facelock. He hooks the arm… snap suplex! Krash hooks the leg…

    ONE… TWO… NO!!

    Summers kicks out again, and this time Krash puts him in a grounded headlock. Summers fights up to a knee and then a vertical base, though, and then is able to back Krash up into the ropes. He pushes The White Wolf off him and into the opposite set. He goes for a shoulder block… but Krash is able to stay up! Summers doesn’t like this, and he throws himself into an adjacent set of ropes for a second attempt… only for Krah to take him off his feet with a standing dropkick!

    Jim Taylor:
    “Krash has an answer for everything!”

    Tim Coleman:
    “So does Summers! These two are evenly matched here, with Summers’ technical, brawling style complimenting the high-flying showmanship of Krash very well…”

    Jim Taylor:
    “Styles make matches, Tim!”

    Krash is on him instantly, lifting Summers up and backing him into the corner with a half-dozen knife edge chops. He takes Der Basterd by the wrist and whips him HARD across the ring into the opposite set of turnbuckles, before charging in with a big splash! Krash isn’t done there, whipping him across the ring AGAIN into the corner Summers was originally in. Krash charges in… running knee strike! Summers tumbles into the middle of the ring, and Krash follows up with a spin kick to the gut… then an enziguri… and finally a famouser! Krash is quick to attempt a cover again…

    ONE… TWO… NO!

    Once more Summers kicks out!

    Jim Taylor:
    “Those kick outs look a little less authoritative each time, Tim!”

    Tim Coleman:
    “What do you expect, Jim?! These men must both be exhausted!”

    Krash hoists Shawn up, and he rocks him with a trio of forearms, backing him up into the ropes. He again goes for an Irish whip across the ring… but Summers grips onto the top rope to check his momentum. Krash tries to drag him away… but Summers resists! And then he clocks him with a straight right hand! Krash stumbles backwards, releasing Shawn’s wrist, and Der Basterd follows up with a series of hard right hands that back the White Wolf all the way up across the ring. It’s Summers’ turn to whip him into the opposite set of ropes… and upon re approach Krash connects with a big back body drop! Krash almost over-rotates and lands in a seated position, jamming his spine and screaming out in agony shortly afterwards…

    Summers, though, smells blood in the water, and unleashes a vicious, vile kick into the small of Krash’s back. He then hoists him up again, hits three knife edge chops and a boot to the midsection… Summers takes Krash in a bearhug… belly-to-belly overhead release suplex!!

    Jim Taylor:
    “The White Wolf is thrown across the ring with the Wipe Out!”

    Tim Coleman:
    “But it doesn’t look like he’s going for the cover…”

    Summers is on Krash with a series of stomps immediately, causing the White Wolf to crawl to a corner and use the ropes to assist himself in getting up to his feet. Summers is on him immediately, though, rocking Krash with straight right after straight right hand. The tag champion does his best to throw up a hasty guard, but Summers works the body instead, and then connects with a big knee into Krash’s gut. The White Wolf is keeled over, and Krash puts him in a front facelock. He hooks the arm and then lifts Krash up into the air, perhaps looking for his stalling brainbuster… but after a few seconds of the blood rushing to the White Wolf’s head, he begins to fight out by driving his knee downwards into the top of Summers’ head! After three such strikes, Summers is forced to drop Krash, who lands on his feet behind Der Basterd…

    Summers turns around…

    Jim Taylor:
    “One-Shot Kill attempt! Krash goes for the running knee…”
    But Summers evades it, and then Krash turns round into a big roaring elbow! Krash slumps to the mat immediately after the heavy strike, and Summers goes for the count…

    ONE… TWO… T - - NO!

    Krash kicks out!

    Summers spends a moment looking at the official, a little unsure with regards to the pace of the count, but after a shake of the head he gets back on Krash. He places him in a grounded sleeper hold, and it’s only when the audience begins to get firmly on Krash’s side that he uses that momentum to his advantage. He first fights up to a knee and then, with some difficulty, he’s up to his feet, and he tries to gain some separation with some elbows to the ribs. Summers shifts from his sleeper hold into a headlock, but Krash wraps his arms around Summers… side suplex! The move is delivered at a high-angle, but somehow Der Basterd is able to fight immediately to his feet. He turns towards Krash, and out of nothing more than instinct sends a right hand in his direction. The White Wolf ducks beneath it and transitions immediately into a rear waist lock… German suplex!! Krash bridges for the cover!!

    ONE… TWO… TH - - NO!!

    Tim Coleman:
    “Summers powers out again!”

    Jim Taylor:
    “The White Wolf is getting closer and closer, though. Shawn Summers needs a big shift in momentum, here, before it’s too late!”

    But Krash isn’t willing to let him rest. He has him back on his feet immediately… forearm strike… European uppercut… overhand chop!! Summers is reeling now… Krash whips him into the opposite set… he’s looking for One-Shot Kill again…

    Tim Coleman:
    “No! Summers hooks onto the top rope with his arms…"

    Jim Taylor:
    “And then he drops to the mat and rolls beneath the bottom rope, looking to recuperate with a breather on the outside…”
    … only for Krash to charge across the ring towards a corner…

    Jim Taylor:
    “Triangle cannonball! To the outside!!”

    Tim Coleman:
    “No rest for the wicked, Shawn!”

    Both men go sprawling to the ground, but it is indeed Krash who is first to his feet. He pumps his fist to get the crowd going, and Alyster Black nods his head approvingly from the outside. Krash goes back to Summers and takes him by the scruff of the neck… before throwing him face-first onto the announce table!

    Krash spends a moment weighing up his next move, and decides to take Shawn Summers by the wrist. He attempts to Irish whip Der Basterd into the nearby steel steps… but Summers reverses! Krash is sent shoulder-first into the steel instead!!

    Jim Taylor:
    “Exactly what Shawn Summers needed!”

    Tim Coleman:
    “Let’s see if Der Basterd can make this shift in momentum stick, though. Neither man has been able to do so thus far in this one…”

    The referee is up to eight already by the time Summers rolls in and out of the ring to break up the count, and then he saunters over to Krash with confidence. He lifts the White Wolf up in a front face lock, and takes a moment to look around the crowd with a smirk on his face. Many of the audience are still cheering him, but as the match has gone on the sway has certainly moved more in Krash’s favour. Shawn shrugs, lifts Krash up… stalling brainbuster! On the outside!!!

    The audience gasps at the move, but Summers wastes no time in lifting Krash up and hurling him under the bottom rope. Der Basterd rolls under the bottom rope, and hooks the far leg…

    ONE… TWO… THR - - NO!!!

    Jim Taylor:
    “Krash quicks out!”

    Tim Coleman:
    “What resilience!!”

    Summers can’t believe it, and is downright flabbergasted when he gets up and stalks the official into a corner. The referee backs up, his hands up to Summers in a placatory manner. Eventually, Der Basterd thinks better of pushing this any further, and turns around to face Krash. The White Wolf is slow to get to his feet after being dropped on his head, and with a sneer on his face Summers walks towards him…

    … and is rolled up with a small package!!

    ONE… TWO… THRE - - NO!!

    Jim Taylor:
    “Two and nine tenths! I thought that was it!!”

    It’s the closest pinfall yet, but Summers is out at the last minute. The two both try to scramble to their feet, but it’s Der Basterd who accomplishes it first. Krash is a little slower…

    Tim Coleman:
    “Shining wizard!! Krash is caught as he rises!”

    Summers immediately lifts Krash to his feet and follows up with a boot to the midsection. Der Basterd pulls Krash’s head into position, maybe looking for Midsommar, his double arm underhook facebuster finisher. Summers tries to hook the arms…

    … no! Krash lifts him up and overhead with a back body drop!! Summers lands heavily, but fights to his feet…

    Jim Taylor:
    “ONE-SHOT KILL! ONE-SHOT KILL!!”

    Tim Coleman:
    “Krash hooks the leg!!”

    ONE… TWO… THRE - - NO!!!

    Summers kicks out!! Krash can’t believe it (but the audience can), and after a few moments he gets to his feet with his eyes on the ropes. The White Wolf decides it’s time to climb, and gets onto the apron. He is slow to climb, the exertion of TWO matches clearly taking its toll on him. He’s only on the second rope when Summers begins to stir, and soon after Der Basterd is up to his feet and climbing up after Krash…

    Jim Taylor:
    “It’s always a risk taking things to the high-rent district, and I fear Krash is about to find that out first hand…”

    Tim Coleman:
    “I’m sure he found that out long ago, Jim… but still he persists on climbing!"

    Summers, standing on the second rope inside the ring, begins to unload with right hands on Krash, who is on the same rope but outside of it. After half a dozen right hands, Krash has to hold onto the top rope to stop from toppling backwards, and Der Basterd uses the opportunity to pull the White Wolf in close for a front face lock. Krash fights out, sensing that a superplex is coming. He unloads with right hands to Summers’ exposed ribs, and then, when Shawn lets go of his front face lock, the tag champion levels him with a vicious headbutt!!

    It looks as if the God-King is going to fall off the second rope, but Krash catches him and turns him around so that Summers - still on his perch - is now facing back towards the ring. The White Wolf pulls him down into a reverse front face lock… and then he climbs right to the top rope…

    … to deliver a tornado reverse DDT!! All the way from the top!!!

    Jim Taylor:
    “OH MY GOD! What a move! Shawn Summers is down in the middle of the ring!!”

    The crowd pops for the move, and Krash feels the adrenaline now! He gets to his feet and points to the top rope, the audience cheering him on, sensing what is to come…

    … Krash, as quickly as he can, climbs to the top rope…

    … Shawn Summers stares at the ceiling lights in the middle of the ring…

    … Krash steadies himself, looking out over the crowd once more…

    … and then leaps off for his patented elbow drop…

    Jim Taylor:
    “DAYBREAKER!!”

    Tim Coleman:
    “Krash nails it!!! And now he hooks BOTH legs!!”

    ONE… TWO… THREE!!
    Result: Krash via pinfall at 18:52.

    Jim Taylor:
    "That's three! He's got him! He did it!"

    Lindsay Monaghan:
    "Here is your winner of the Gold Rush tournament... and the NEW CWA World Heavyweight Champion... KRASH!!!!"

    Krash rolls off Shawn Summers, and for a moment all he can do is sit in the middle of the ring. In a show of respect to his tag team partner, Alyster Black waits on the outside, applauding the White Wolf as the championship belt is brought into the ring...

    The official kneels in front of Krash, and holds the gold in front of him. Krash looks at it for a moment and then, finally, he takes it from the official..

    Tim Coleman:
    "For the third time in his career... Krash can call himself the Heavyweight Champion of the World!!"

    With the audience cheering his name, the White Wolf pushes his way to his feet. He moves over to a corner, and lifts his belt high above his head...

    Jim Taylor:
    "What a moment for the White Wolf... what a moment for the CWA!"

    Tim Coleman:
    "Krash can celebrate for a moment... but he still has work to do here tonight! Our main event is still to come, and Krash has to defend his CWA World Tag Team Championships..."

    Jim Taylor:
    "But for a moment, Krash stands tall as a double champion!! Just listen to this crowd! A few hundred sound like thousands!!"

    At length, Krash hops down from the turnbuckles. He looks exhausted, and turns around... to find Shawn Summers on his feet.

    Summers looks equally spent, and dejected, and frustrated.

    But, perhaps surprisingly, he offers out a hand to Krash.

    Jim Taylor:
    "What a tournament it has been, and I can't think of two more worthy finalists. Shawn Summers and Krash embody the CWA, and they've embodied the Gold Rush tournament throughout out! What fighting spirit from both men..."

    Krash takes Shawn's hand, and the two share a moment in the middle of the ring...

    Until, inevitably, Shawn Summers boots Krash in the midsection!

    MIDSOMMAR!!

    Jim Taylor:
    "... but of course ..."

    The audience begins to boo, and Alyster instantly slides into the ring. With a smile, Shawn retreats from the other side of it. Black is caught in two minds as to whether to go after Summers or stay with his partner, but Shawn is already scampering up the ramp...

    Tim Coleman:
    "They don't call him Der Basterd for nothing, Jim!"

    Black, perhaps thinking about the business still to come, crouches over Krash. He has retrieved the championship belt that fell from his grasp during the dastardly act, and does his best to shake the White Wolf around, when...

    Kick in the Door | Notorious B.I.G.
    Spoiler:

    A huge boo goes around the beach as Trevor Ocean and Noah Stocke of the Division walk out onto the stage. Shawn Summers has just about reached the top of the ramp, and he greets his buddies with a fist bump each, before removing himself from the arena...


    Jim Taylor: "A leaving present from Der Basterd to his Elite running buddies... as if Krash hasn't already been through enough tonight!"

    Inside the ring, Krash's eyes are open, but he's still staring up at the sky. He has his hand in Alyster's, whose eyes are fixed upon the two men that have just entered the scene. Ocean and Stocke begin their descent to the ring.

    Tim Coleman: "There seems to be an air of confidence about Trevor Ocean and Noah Stocke as they make their way to the ring..."

    Jim Taylor: "And I wonder why that is, Jim?! This deck is well and try stacked in their favour. Alyster Black essentially faces a two-on-one handicap situation here tonight..."

    Tim Coleman: "You shouldn't count out Krash, Jim!"

    Jim Taylor: "OH COME ON, TIM! How can you sit there and say that with a straight face?! Krash is one of the most talented performers in CWA history... but Shawn Summers is just a bastard! Not Der Basterd... just a plain old bastard!"


    As Tim Coleman lets out a soft chuckle, we see Ocean and Stocke climb into the ring. Krash is just about up to his feet, but his eyes look glazed over and Alyster Black is still busy in checking him. The official does the same, and The Division mock concern as they watch from across the ring. Meanwhile, Lindsey Monaghan has climbed into the ring and takes up a central position, ready to make the introductions...

    Lindsey Monaghan “Ladies and gentlemen, the following is your main event, scheduled for one-fall with a sixty minute time limit… and is for the CWA World Tag Team Championships.”

    A cheer goes up around the beach for the announcement. The official has the belts in his hands, and he holds them up for the audience to see.

    Lindsey Monaghan “Introducing the challengers… fighting out of Vancouver, British Columbia… at a combined weight of four hundred and twenty two pounds… Noah Stocke… Trevor Ocean… THE DIVISION!!”

    A boo emanates from those in attendance. Stocke and Ocean now seemed focused only on the task at hand.

    Lindsay Monaghan “And their opponents… at a combined weight of four hundred and twenty pounds… from San Dimas, California… ‘Black Jesus’... Alyster Black! And, from Melbourne, Australia… The White Wolf… the CWA Heavyweight Champion of the world… Krash! Together they are the CWA World Tag Team Champions… THE GANG STARS!!”

    Alyster Black finally turns to face his opponents. All Krash can do is climb out onto the apron in a laboured manner. Black tries to focus up. The official makes his final checks, and then calls for this final match… our main event… to get underway...

    Match Seven - MAIN EVENT.
    Tag Team Match.
    CWA World Tag Team Championships.
    THE GANG STARS (Alyster Black and Krash) [c] vs. THE DIVISION (Trevor Ocean and Noah Stocke).
    (1/60)



    Of course, it’s Alyster Black who starts in the ring in this one, with Krash down on one knee on the apron. Trevor Ocean is in the ring for The Division. The two of them circle for a moment, and it looks like they are going to tie it up… but instead Alyster unleashes a right hand on Ocean! Trevor is staggered back, and Black follows up with a second… then a third!

    Jim Taylor:“Alyster Black opening this one up with a series of hard strikes, backing Ocean all the way up into the corner…”

    Tim Coleman:
    “There’s a lot of history and a lot of bad blood between these teams, and Black will know the odds are against him given the context of Krash’s night. He’ll be looking to start and end this one quickly.”

    Alyster takes Ocean by the wrist and whips him across the ring. Trevor hits the turnbuckles hard and bounces back towards Black, who nails a low dropkick to Ocean’s knees! Ocean hits the mat, and Black lifts him up… Russian leg sweep! Alyster goes for the cover…

    ONE… TWO… NO!

    Jim Taylor:
    “Ocean kicks out, and then scrambles over to make the tag to Noah Stocke!”
    Stocke comes in, and lunges right at Black… he manages to take him down with a double-leg, but Black is quick with his guard before Stocke can lay in with forearms. Alyster manages to turn things over on Stocke, and now he tries to rain down some blows of his own. They are only glancing, though, with Stocke getting his forearms up and then wriggling over to the ropes. Black allows a clean break but, as soon as Stocke is on his feet, he grabs him by the wrist and pulls him towards him…

    Jim Taylor:
    “Fireman’s carry… Death Valley driver!!”

    Tim Coleman:
    “This time it’s Stocke that Black covers…”

    ONE… TWO… NO!

    Stocke gets the shoulder up, and them scrambles beneath a nearby bottom rope in an attempt to grab a breather. Black follows him out, though, and takes him by the scruff of the neck in order to throw him into the barricade. He follows up with some knife edge chops whilst the referee barks at him from inside the ring and then starts a count towards ten. Black ignores him and, after a straight right hand, takes Stocke by the wrist as if he’s about to Irish whip him into the steel steps…

    … but here comes Ocean! He hops off the apron and clubs Black in the back! And follows up with a European uppercut!! Stocke takes advantage of the distraction, grabs Alyster’s wrist, and hurls him shoulder-first into the steel ring steps!!

    Jim Taylor:
    “Perhaps the shift in momentum that the Division needed, there, as Noah Stocke throws Black back into the ring. With Krash incapacitated, they just need to wear Alyster down…”

    Tim Coleman:
    “I feel that near two-on-one advantage is about to come in very handy!”

    Noah Stocke slides in after Black and hooks the leg…

    ONE… TWO… NO!

    Kickout from Black!

    Stocke immediately transitions into a hammer lock with Black still grounded, and wrenches the joint, forcing Alyster’s arm up his back. Black realises he’s far from the ropes, and starts to work his way back up to a vertical base. He’s first up to his knees, and then his feet, and he backs Stocke up into the ropes. Black Jesus throws him into the opposite set, and tries to hit a roaring elbow… but Stocke ducks beneath it, hits the ropes again…

    Tim Coleman:
    “Clothesline from Stocke! Black taken off his feet!”

    Stocke lifts Alyster up and throws him into the Division’s corner, before proceeding to lay into him with stomp after stomp. After maybe a dozen such strikes, he tags in Ocean… who comes into the ring and continues the stomps! Another twelve are hit before the referee starts a count, with Trevor eventually allowing Black up at four. Alyster uses the ropes to get to his feet, but Trevor follows up with a boot to the midsection… front facelock… snap suplex! He’s not done there, though, and instead of going for the cover he hoists Black up and whips him into the ropes…

    Jim Taylor:
    “Spinebuster!! Alyster Black is planted to the mat again, and the Division are now in almost complete control!”

    Trevor Ocean hooks the far leg…

    ONE… TWO… NO!

    Kickout from Black!

    Ocean lifts Black up and throws him into the corner. He drives his shoulder into Black’s gut and then lifts him up into a seated position on the top rope. He tags in Stocke, and then climbs up to the top with Black. He applies a front face lock, Black stepping up onto the very top rope… and then Ocean climbs up there with him!

    Tim Coleman:
    “I don’t like the look of this!!”

    Jim Taylor:
    “Superplex!! All the way from the top rope!!”

    Meanwhile, Stocke has climbs up to the same top rope, and waits for Ocean to roll out of the way…

    Tim Coleman:
    “Frogsplash!!”

    Jim Taylor:
    “Straight into a pin attempt!”

    ONE… TWO… TH - - NO!

    Black with the shoulder up!

    Stocke applies a hammerlock, but Black instantly begins to fight out of it, sensing that he can't spend too much longer under the hammer here. He fights up to his feet, and aims an elbow at Noah's head. Stocke ducks beneath it, and then drives Alyster into a corner with his shoulder. He follows up with a quartet of shoulder thrusts into Black's abdomen, and Irish whips him across the ring. Alyster hits the turnbuckles HARD and bounces back towards Stocke. Noah attempts a clothesline... Black ducks beneath it!

    Jim Taylor:
    "And what's this?! Black has Stocke up in a fireman's carry..."

    Tim Coleman:
    "Maybe going for the DVD again... but excellent strategy from Trevor Ocean! He reaches in from the apron and grabs Stocke by the boot!"

    Jim Taylor:
    "Strategy?! That's out and out illegal!!"

    The referee thinks this, too. He's admonishing both members of the Division, but Ocean is able to pull Stocke loose... and then an enziguri! Black is clocked and falls to his knees. Noah hits the ropes... dropkick to the chest! Stocke covers Black...

    ONE... TWO... TH - - NO!!

    Stocke is momentarily frustrated, and spends a minute arguing with the official about a perceived slow count. With a shake of the head, he hoists Alyster back up to his feet… and then connects with a front kick… followed by a roundhouse kick… Noah turns his back on Black… pele kick!! Black hits the mat!!

    But Stocke isn’t finished… he picks Alyster up… German suplex! With a bridge....

    ONE… TWO… THR - - NO!!

    Tim Coleman:
    “Black kicks out! But Noah Stocke is getting closer and closer!!”

    Stocke is straight on Alyster with a headlock, and keeps Black Jesus grounded for a while. The audience is doing its best to encourage Black into the match, clapping and stamping at chanting his name and the name of his team. But Stocke keeps the hold locked on firms, and wrenches at it at every opportunity. The official is close-by, asking if Alyster wanted to give it in, but the masked man refuses... and then begins to fight up to his feet! The audience believes this is the moment for Black, and gets louder still. Alyster is up! He backs Stocke up into the ropes, and whips him into the opposite set. Black winds up for a big clothesline...

    Jim Taylor:
    "Noah Stocke ducks beneath it!"

    Tim Coleman:
    "Alyster Black turns around..."

    Jim Taylor:
    "Rake to the eyes!!"

    The referee admonishes Stocke, but he just laughs it off... before booting Black in the midsection... snap DDT! Noah hooks the leg...

    ONE... TWO... THR - - NO!!

    Jim Taylor:
    "What resilience from Black! He just won't give in!"

    Noah tags in Ocean, who climbs back into the ring and tees Alyster Black up. Black is slow to rise, but is eventually able to crawl up onto his knees. Ocean charges in…

    Jim Taylor:
    “A vicious running knee smash!! Alyster Black is down again!”

    Another pin attempt…

    ONE… TWO… THRE - - NO!!

    Black kicks out!! At the last moment!

    Jim Taylor:
    “And look at Krash! The White Wolf is leaning over the top rope! He wants in this one!”

    Ocean doesn’t show the same frustration as Stocke, and instead retreats to the corner, waiting for Alyster to slowly rise. Black does, and is facing away from Ocean. Trevor comes towards him…

    Jim Taylor:
    “He’s looking for Glutinous Punishment! If he gets the cross-face chicken wing, Alyster might have no choice but to relinquish those tag titles!”

    Tim Coleman:
    “Ocean comes in for the kill.... But Black sees him coming! He floats beneath… rear waist lock… German suplex!!”

    But Black can’t quite make the bridge, and instead both competitors lie face-down in the ring. They slowly begin to crawl back towards their respective corners…

    Tim Coleman:
    “In comes Noah Stocke…”

    Jim Taylor:
    “And in comes Krash!!”

    The beached audience is electric as The White Wolf comes into the ring… with a clothesline for Stocke! And then Noah eats a dropkick!! Krash waits for him to get to his feet… famouser!!

    The White Wolf is really feeling it now, and the momentum seems to be sustaining him as he waits patiently for Stocke to rise…

    Tim Coleman:
    “Perhaps thinking a spear…”

    Jim Taylor:
    “Watch out! Here comes Ocean! NO!! One Shot Kill from Alyster Black! He damn near takes his head off!!
    Trevor Ocean rolls out of the ring…

    … and Krash takes Noah Stocke out with a spear!!

    Alyster Black and Krash share a fist bump in the centre of the ring, and Krash is sent up to the top rope…

    Tim Coleman:
    “Alyster Black hoists Stocke up one more time, and I sense the end is nigh…”

    Jim Taylor:
    “Satan’s Spike!! Black hits the brainbuster DDT!”

    Tim Coleman:
    “And now Krash steadies himself up top… DAYBREAKER ELBOW DROP!!”

    Jim Taylor:
    “Krash hooks the leg…”

    ONE… TWO… THREE!!
    Result: The Gang Stars win via pin fall at 14:12.

    Jim Taylor:
    “They did it!!”

    Tim Coleman:
    “The Gang Stars retain!! Krash is still a double champion!!”

    Lindsay Monaghan:
    “Here are your winners… and STILL the CWA World Tag Team Champions… ALYSTER BLACK… KRASH… THE GANG STARS!!

    Krash literally cannot move, even after his name is called out alongside that of his tag team partner. Alyster Black is stood, taking in some deep breaths, leant against the ring ropes... he stumbles over to his tag team partner, steadies himself, and then pulls him away from Stocke. Krash sits up, and the Gang Stars embrace in the middle of the ring!

    Jim Taylor:
    "Just like in Philadelphia... tonight ends with Alyster Black and Krash standing tall in the middle of the ring, the CWA World Tag Team Champions... and you know what, Tim?! It feels right!"
    With help from Black, Krash gets to his feet. The two are using each other for support, though it's fair to say that Krash is leaning on Black a lot more than vice versa. As they stand like this, mutually codependent, in the middle of the ring, a huge array of gold, blue, and silver fireworks are set off behind them. The rockets explode high in the night's sky...

    Tim Coleman:
    "Well, I thought myself that this was one bridge too far for The White Wolf... but here we are! The Gang Stars are STILL your tag team champions... and Krash is your NEW world champ!"

    As if to confirm Coleman's statement, the official hands the spoils over to the victors. He has to make two trips with all the hardware.

    Jim Taylor:
    "You said it yourself, Tim: don't count Krash out!!"

    Alyster helps to tie the world championship around Krash's waist, and the two hold the tag straps in their hands. The official stands between them and lifts their free hands into the air, the audience going wild for the scene...

    Tim Coleman:
    "We know what's next for The Gang Stars... Golden Rock at Lights Out... Murder, Inc. some time soon... and The Elite Tag Team Classic, vol. 2..."

    The Gang Stars walk to opposite corners and mount the second turnbuckles, the camera panning out to show them in wide shot.

    Jim Taylor:
    "Busy boys, no doubt... but for tonight, at least, The Gang Stars can rest easy! This is Jim Taylor, with Tim Coleman, signing off from 'CWA: South Pacific'... we'll see you in December, folks!"

    The show closes with the image of Alyster Black and Krash on opposite turnbuckles, all of the CWA gold upon their persons.

    *****

    CREDITS:

    MATCHES
    An Original Name [Dicky Zuko vs. Diego Gonzalez, Shawn Summers vs. Jon Snowmantashi]
    Jon [The Echo vs. Murder, Inc. vs. The Undisputed Alliance]
    SmoothJazzWolf [The 'I'm New Here' Battle Royale]
    SupineSnake [The DiMiacos vs. The Diamond Dogs, Krash vs. Cyrus Truth, Billy Hatcher vs. XYZ vs. Clint Shepard vs. Johnny Vegas, Michelle Von Horrowitz x. Lilith, Krash vs. Shawn Summers, The Gang Stars vs. The Division]

    SEGMENTS
    SupineSnake [The DiMiaco Brothers and The Diamond Dogs, The God Rush Top 5]
    SmoothJazzWolf [BWW hype, Krash mid-show segment]

    GRAPHICS
    by ComebackKid
    Last edited by SupineSnake; 09-07-2021 at 04:01 PM.

  2. #2
    Friendship King

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    Re: CWA: SOUTH PACIFIC! [RESULTS]

    I'm gonna shoot some quick thoughts.

    Battle Royal: The Jobber/I'm New Here Battle Royal was fun to write, even if I might've overdone it at 18K words including entrances. But it's battle royals and jobbers, two of my favourite things. Y'all should be happy I didn't turn it into a Royal Rumble or Aztec Warfare kinda deal. You know I would've done it and it would've been ten times as long. Favourite moment was probably the Mikey Williams elimination/non-elimination/whoops he's actually eliminated for real now. I hope he got his foot back, those looked like some strong tides. Now that Luna Piper won, she has to be a reoccurring wrestler. Sorry Oz I don't make the rules.

    Diego Gonzalez vs Dicky Zuko: Is it really a big CWA event if Dicky Zuko doesn't die in the first hour? Solid squash, always good to see a CWA veteran get some shine. Favourite moment: Dicky Zuko having a quadruple take to accept that he's landed in deep shit.

    Diamond Dongs vs DiMarcos: Fun non-match. Just a brawl through and through, but a fun, unique one. Loved the cold open, dug the ending - I can only assume Joey DiMarco and Ricardo Vance are still chasing each other through the beaches of Vanuatu while Paul DiMarco is loaded into a hearse. Favourite moment: The realization that a match that started nowhere near the ring isn't Falls Count Anywhere by default, and the subsequent one second spent in the ring before Joey & Ricardo vanished in the dunes.

    Jon Snowmantashi vs Shawn Summers: Hooooooly shit. Shawn Summers did what MvH couldn't - and what, to the same effect, so many more couldn't - and beat Snowmantashi. That's big. That's heckin' HUGE for Summers, and it worked out wonderfully in the match too - Snowmantashi took one misstep, tweaked his ankle, and Summers zeroed in on that like I zero in on cute fluffy animals when I need dopamine. Of course, he had to work for it, Jon Snowmantashi with a bum wheel is still Jon Snowmantashi for goodness' sake. And Snowmantashi looked like a killer in defeat, still trying to fight with his ankle ripped to shreds. Ultimately Snowmantashi didn't give up, his body did. Heavily protected, as he should be. Favourite moment: Jon Snowmantashi powering the fuck out of an Alpha Male with a move apparently no-one's ever seen before, one last defiant ditch of 'fuck you and your shitty neck tattoo, Shawn.'

    The Elite Tag Team Classic Vol 2 Announcement/Inexplicable Golden Rock appearance: Hm. I'm rather... Conflicted, to say the least. To start off with the good: An indy-centric tourney to create the top tag contenders? I can dig that, I like it. Scour the best of the indies and see what we find. I would've suggested it should be like the battle royal, have unknown indy tag team entries open to anyone interested, even just a bit, see if we can get a bit of fresh blood to partake. On that side of the scale, I love it. On the other hand...

    You'll notice I've only mentioned the CWA/Indy side of the bracket. Good viewing. Considering how every time CWA has been brought up in FWA, it's been verbally pissed on no matter wether it was relevant to the story or not, I'm a firm believer in keeping these CWA events and storylines completely separated from FWA storylines. Especially since this will, likely, turn into yet another FWA vs CWA slagoff, and I'm beyond tired of having to trudge through those. Feels like half my bloody time in FWA has been spent with stuff like that, and I can't imagine this would turn out any different, judging from the shoehorned Golden Rock promo. Love y'all, but just like last time something like this was teased, or similar plans were floated, I'm not into it. You've got FWA, Fallout, Meltdown, everything over there to push your own angles. No need to plaster it onto CWA too. Perhaps I'm being overtly defensive - I've noticed I have a habit of that when the topic of CWA comes up in in the discord or in FWA promos, but you would be too if the situations were switched - and I'll acquiesce to that, but as of right now I'm lukewarm at best on this idea in it's current formation.

    Krash vs Cyrus Truth: Even when Cyrus left for FWA, I still considered him to be 'Mr CWA' during it's peak. CWA went through different phrases, but Cyrus is the guy who I always considered to be THE guy when I was around. And even today, he's still THE guy, still just as great as he ever has been. Anyone beating him, or surviving him as the tone of this match is, always feels like a miracle. That's high highly I rate him. Much like Snowmantashi earlier, it wasn't a pin count that took him down, but his own body working against him. Which doesn't feel too similar, since the context is different - Snowmantashi passed out from the pain, refusing to admit defeat after having his ankle be worked over thorough the match, while Truth couldn't fight out of Discordant Serenity before the lack of oxygen was too much. One feels like a game plan working, the other feels like a last ditch all-or-nothing resort, as it should be. Favourite moment: There's a brief moment where, after being beaten so much and having to fight through the Long Road To Nowhere, Krash finally gets some separation but is waaaay too exhausted to follow it up properly. It's a great showing of the exact toll this match took and what a match with Cyrus Truth does to people.

    Clint Shepard vs Billy Hatcher vs XYZ vs Johnny Vegas: Fun match! Action all the way out, a good change from the more drawn-out process of the previous two matches. XYZ's promo was heartwrenching and I would've loved to see him pull it off, but Billy Hatcher had a fantastically creative promo in turn, so either way it was a hard choice. Favourite moment: Billy Hatcher killing Clint Shepard with a German suplex on the apron, then Shepard being thrown at the steel barricade, then the steel steps, then threatened with a DDT on the steel ramp. Like, jeez, go easy on the guy.

    Krash segment: terrible

    Jailhouse Blues - The Echo vs The Undisputed Era vs Murder Inc: Jackson Fenix vs The Echo in a CROTCH CHOP-off, please. Absolute carnage and violence from start to finish. So many spots where I was certain that was it for them, they're eliminated. Felt like the eliminations came a bit quickly at the end, and a missed opportunity in, for example, Ethan Connor and Jermaine Creed having to temporarily join forces to stave off Undisputed Alliance until their own partner joined. But that's mere imaginations, and what we got was absolutely fantastic, so I'm being picky for the sake of it. Favourite moment: Difficult to pick one. There's the moment where all six guys are down and out after so much carnage, the brief bonding-over-gesturing-at-their-groin Echo/Fenix alliance, the Creed/Echo Spanish Fly onto a completely dead Savage, they all stand out as highlight moments.

    Heart of Darkness - Michelle von Horrowitz vs Lilith: Now this was a RIDE. Loved the cinematic touch - absolutely made this stand out in it's entire mindfuckery way. Loved the callbacks/references to MvH's two big connections - a healthy one with GG, and an unhealthy one with Bell. I would totally be on board with the odd cinematic match here and there. Favourite moment: The whole thing. It's a copout answer but I loved the whole thing.

    Black Widow Wrestling: Looks hella fun. Definitely on board with this. I was going to write out a hype segment for this but time ran too thin, so you'll just have to close your eyes and imagine a Violet Dreyer/Yuna Funanori/Luna Piper/MvH segment. Probably with The Power/Kara Stacey/Kasey Connor in it too, because I spent to long writing that battle royal I can't write anything else without them creeping in. Imagine it. Imagine it and cry.

    Shawn Summers vs Krash: I've always thought of Summers and Krash to be polar opposites in terms of just about everything. Wrestling style, personality, attitudes, everything. In a way, they're perfect opponents, because they're so contrasting. And considering the several clashes they've had throughout the years, directly or indirectly, even back in 2012 when it was Gang Stars vs Shawn Summers & The Andrew Alexander, there's a lot of history between them that at any point, Krash vs Summers is a big match. Throw in the CWA title, and boy howdy, do the stakes raise. Summers had an absolutely fantastic approach to his promo, one that I felt wouldn't be out of place in any world title contention match, and did fantastic work with the 1K word limit. CBK should be patting himself on the back regardless - he beat Snowmantashi, he beat so many others to get here, and he did it with a killer piece. Favourite moment: The tornado reverse DDT from the top rope, which I really need to give a name to. Such a cool visualization that I audibly popped for. Bonus moment: Summers luring Krash in post-match with a handshake, only to kill him with a Midsommar. Because beneath all the bluster about falling in love with wrestling, Summers is still a petty dick.

    Gang Stars vs The Division: It's a genuine shame CBK couldn't promo, as unfortunately everyone knew how this would end. And the points we raised in our promo about The Division still ring true. But as we all know with life, shit happens, and pushing yourself to write can be an uphill task, so we can't hold it against CBK. Anyway, felt like the crowning moment of the show to send the fans home happy, with Division doing everything in their power to put away Alyster Black, to the point where it felt like Alyster went through just as much fight in one match as Krash did in two. Favourite moment: Alyster Black and his hatred of handicap matches refusing to give up, and fighting an uphill battle without a partner for 95%of the match. Alyster should have all the shine here, because few other people can survive a handicap match against The Division for so long unless they're powered by pure pride and spitefulness like Alyster is.

    Overall, a marvellous show - and I'm not just saying that because of the obvious points that I haven't addressed because it'd feel weird if I did. It was a delight to sit down and read this, and every other show that's been leading up to it. SS has my eternal thanks and admiration for putting this all together and keeping it regularly going. I have no idea how he does it but the guy is a writing machine. What a godamned ride. Five stars.

    shit, I need to update my profile now

    fuck.


    Spoiler:








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