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Thread: FWA 16th Anniversary Show | Card/Promo Discussion Thread

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    FWA 16th Anniversary Show | Card/Promo Discussion Thread

    Live from the SEG Geneva Arena in Geneva, Switzerland.

    Meltdown and Fallout present...

    FWA's 16th Anniversary Show
    Saturday 8th August, 2021.



    FIRST MATCH
    (1/20)
    Legends Evolved (Logan Darwin and Johnny Johnson) vs. Gabrielle and Kayden Knox.
    Tag Team Match Match.
    (Match writer: Sulley)
    In what will be the first of three inter-brand matches to take place at the 16th Anniversary Show, Meltdown's father-son pairing of Logan Darwin and Johnny "The Legend" Johnson, known together as Legends Evolved, will take on Gabrielle and Kayden Knox of Fallout.

    The relationship between Johnson and Darwin has been cohesive, and their turnouts thus far on Meltdown have brought success to the pair, with a victory against The New Breed already under their belt on Meltdown 1.

    As for Knox and Gabrielle, after being opponents in the first round of the Fallout Eliminator, they found themselves teaming up on Fallout 002 in victory against The Bad Boys Boy Band. After Knox's car was trashed, the unlikely pairing seemed to find some common ground.

    With momentum behind both teams, the first match between Meltdown and Fallout could go either way.

    SECOND MATCH
    (1/20)
    Devin Golden vs. Alyster Black.
    Singles Match.
    (Match writer: TGO)
    As agreed between both men on Fallout 002, "The Golden One" Devin Golden and "Black Jesus" Alyster Black will face off in what is sure to be a brutal match where neither man will pull any punches.

    Black has been desperate for revenge against Golden ever since Golden carved the letters 'FWA' into his chest at Fight Night: NOLA, and he will no longer be waiting until the Lights Out Pay-Per-View when Golden Rock and Gang Stars clash for the FWA Tag Team Championships.

    Their respective partners, Randy Ramon and Krash, are also facing each other in the Elimination Chamber later in the night, so this show will be a perfect opportunity for both teams to get the upper hand.

    THIRD MATCH
    (1/30)
    Tommy Bedlam [c] vs. El Demente.
    Singles Match.
    FWA Gauntlet Championship.
    (Match writer: Jimmy)
    El Demente has made his agenda abundantly clear since arriving on the scene and on the Fallout brand - hurt as many people as possible, even if it means that he doesn't win. This was made clear when he brutalised Stu Grimes on Fallout 002.

    The masked man will be cashing in his FWA Gauntlet Championship opportunity that he won on Fallout 001 by defeating Sauce Man.

    He will face Tommy Bedlam, after Bedlam won the championship in a fatal four way match on Meltdown 2.

    (Mod Note: We are aware that Meltdown 2 will be posted whilst the promo window for this show is still open. The handlers for El Demente and the Gauntlet Champion will be informed of the result of the match on Meltdown 2 as soon as grading has been completed and they will receive an extended promo window accordingly.)

    FOURTH MATCH - MAIN EVENT
    (5/-)
    Chris Peacock vs. Cyrus Truth vs. Krash vs. Mike Parr vs. Nova Diamond vs. Randy Ramon
    Golden Opportunity Elimination Chamber Match.
    (Match writer: Man)
    The reward for the six men who placed 2nd-7th in the Carnal Contendership match is a spot in the Elimination Chamber Match on the 16th Anniversary Show. Whoever is the last man standing at the end of the match will become the holder of the Golden Opportunity Briefcase, entitling them to a shot at the FWA World Championship at any time.

    Krash will be rebounding from a disappointing loss in the first round of the Fallout Eliminator, but as previously mentioned the opportunity to score one over Randy Ramon ahead of their upcoming match for the FWA Tag Team Championships at Lights Out is also present in this match.

    Ramon and Chris Peacock are both still in the Fallout Eliminator due to their victories in the first round and therefore can double down on potential World Championship opportunities. However, it is unknown what physical state Peacock will be in after the explosive (literally) conclusion to the Cosmic Playground Match that took place on Fallout 002.

    Another man in unknown physical condition is "The Prodigy" Mike Parr, following the attack at the conclusion of Back in Business, which we now know was perpetrated by Shawn Summers. Nova Diamond is another who was slighted by Summers, losing to "Der Bastard" in the first round of the Fallout Eliminator, and will be looking to earn another chance at the FWA World Championship that evaded him at Back in Business XIV.

    Not to be forgotten or ruled out is the sole Meltdown participant in the match, Cyrus Truth. The FWA North American Champion will want to add the FWA World Championship to his collection, after falling just short in the Atomic Battle Royal on Meltdown 1.

    Predict a winner at your peril, but what we do know for sure is that six of the FWA's finest will do battle in a match likely to live long in the memory.

    ALSO...

    The induction of the Class of 2021 into the FWA Hall of Fame:

    First Ballot:
    Bell Connelly

    Followed by:
    Ayla El
    Shannon O'Neal

    Last edited by Hemmlock; 08-08-2021 at 02:39 AM.

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    Re: FWA 16th Anniversary Show | Card/Promo Discussion Thread

    Formally requesting an extension, thank you for your attention.


    What power would hell have if those imprisoned here would not be able to dream of heaven?


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    Re: FWA 16th Anniversary Show | Card/Promo Discussion Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Oz View Post
    Formally requesting an extension, thank you for your attention.
    Your extension is formally approved.

    Way to take one for the team. Everyone in the Golden Opportunity match will now have an extension.

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    Re: FWA 16th Anniversary Show | Card/Promo Discussion Thread

    Come on Randy Ramon this is your time

    Spoiler:






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    Re: FWA 16th Anniversary Show | Card/Promo Discussion Thread

    Requesting an extension please and thank you.

    Spoiler:






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    Re: FWA 16th Anniversary Show | Card/Promo Discussion Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Rawr is War View Post
    Requesting an extension please and thank you.
    Extension granted, which means TGO gets one as well.


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    Rest in power, TCON

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    Stop the hating of the E-Feds. If you don't like something, that's fine, just ignore it and let the people who do enjoy what they're here on WC to do. Mocking them to make you feel less of a geek for being on a geek on a wrestling forum is lame. If you want to not read their posts, I can fix that for you.

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    Re: FWA 16th Anniversary Show | Card/Promo Discussion Thread

    Y'll so far in that GO Match have brought your A Game I wont say my grades at the moment but shit you guys are like 1 point between last and first.

    Spoiler:






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    Re: FWA 16th Anniversary Show | Card/Promo Discussion Thread

    OMB Review Time:
    Randy Ramon: Loved this promo thought it was a really cool idea i like it where it felt like thanos getting all the stones it was a good way to do this because everything felt personal. I say this is a strong promo from you strongest since BIB.

    Peacock: Thought this promo again was very well written you do a great job of building up this big feel for it again much like Shawn you do a good job on the overall promo.

    Nova Diamond: When the lights are its brightest Nova Diamond shines. Nova brought his A-game to the promo which seems to be a reoccurring theme this show. I absolutely love the scott pilgrim reference because it again gives you enough chance to showcase all and make it personal as well as interlock the story. I think Nova is prob a lock to make it to the final three.

    Tommy Bedlam: Your first defense for 1k title and I think you did a solid enough job with it. I will say that there is room for improvements I tjink I like just lil more dialogue which I know can ne hard to squueze into the 1k promos. I think you will get the defense tho. I know it seem like a joke on discord but, I can see something with you and Eli going forward think there is a story there.
    Last edited by OMB; 08-08-2021 at 09:36 AM.

    Spoiler:






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    Re: FWA 16th Anniversary Show | Card/Promo Discussion Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by OMB View Post
    OMB Review Time:
    Tommy Bedlam: Your first defense for 1k title and I think you did a solid enough job with it. I will say that there is room for improvements I tjink I like just lil more dialogue which I know can ne hard to squueze into the 1k promos. I think you will get the defense tho. I know it seem like a joke on discord but, I can see something with you and Eli going forward think there is a story there.

    I appreciate it man. I'm definitely still trying to get my footing with the 1K cap while developing a pretty new character.

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    Re: FWA 16th Anniversary Show | Card/Promo Discussion Thread

    Krash
    Quality of content (3)/match selling (2.5)/theme (2)/ story (2.5)/length(2) = 12/15
    Presentation/spelling/grammar = 4/5
    Creativity in approach, theme, style, story = 8/10
    Character portrayal = 5/5
    Character development = 3.5/5
    OVERALL - 32.5/40



    You’re quality of content is second to none, your general level of writing is superb and something I’m quite envious of as a writer myself. You sound natural and get your message across exceedingly well. The story chosen and the focus on the match and opponents was a hit with me and felt you done an excellent job here. The theme was OKAY to me. I didn’t like the MLP backdrop, it inherently feels juvenile but you did make it work and feel appropriate. Still, thematically, for me, you were working uphill to get the full 3. Finally, I WANTED MORE! Damn. Just as I was being swing around and saying okay this dude is well able to navigate a theme I find week and still be aces ... we were at the epilogue I dunno if you were stretched for time but I really wanted more at this juncture.


    Presentation is very nice and clean. You’ve done a good job here. I thought the multitude of colours you used here were a little cleaner than the ones used at BIB for your council promo. I think you should borderless table to make it aligned even better on the page. A couple of small typos. Very good work here.


    Yeah, creatively, this was pretty good. In a one on one against a more standard promo I’m pushing this to a 8.5 maybe a 9 but it felt similar to other GO promos with the quest like aspect. Unfortunate. Nothing really can be done here when it falls like that and the others also got a little ding for it. It’s more prominent and pronounced even tho I’ve endeavoured to grade each on their own merits. I felt the pony names were unique and showed you’d thought and planned this out well. The twist on Rockstar was one of my favourite bits of creativity throughout the entire catalogue of golden opp promos. Very good stuff again, a little unfortunate perhaps.


    Character wise it’s a mixed bag ranging from good to perfect. The character portrayal of Maverick is fabulous and really on point. It feels unique. It feels like a person I know or actually follow week to week on a series. His ticks are correct, his responses are correct and hell I even preemptively uttered the “Not according to the internet line.” This is top class portrayal work and amongst the best I’ve ever read. Your development is there, it’s present but it feels a little feeble. I don’t see the real development from maverick at the start to maverick at the end. Maybe I’m being stupid and glossing over it but from what I can see Mavericks apparent mindset and motivation at the end aren’t anything I wouldn’t have expected at the start. Granted it’s a true portrayal and I think you may have been raising questions over where Krash could do what it takes but I think that’s been very well established at this point that Krash is a killer. A smiley friendship encouraging killer but a killer nonetheless. I think you could have lend yourself more credence in the eyes of the reader and took an approach more akin to somebody knowing this is what is expected of them and I think while still getting across Krash will do what he needs to do when push comes to shove, you could’ve developed this into a more interesting tact of maybe, just maybe with Krash it doesn’t even always HAVE to come to shove. I think the ck and kds losses could’ve been used to fuel a Krash just strikes first and critically now. He doesn’t wait for push to come to shove. Just spitting ideas as really, nothing wrong with 3.5 in CD. 8.5 over the two character sections is really high IMO.


    Enjoyed this promo a lot. I think if you’d an extra free day this would’ve really troubled my top 3.


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    Re: FWA 16th Anniversary Show | Card/Promo Discussion Thread

    Cyrus Truth
    Quality of content (3)/match selling (2.5)/theme (3)/ story (2.5)/length(3) = 14/15
    Presentation/spelling/grammar = 4.5/5
    Creativity in approach, theme, style, story = 8/10
    Character portrayal = 3/5
    Character development = 3/5
    OVERALL - 32.5/40

    Similarly to Krash, I find your quality of content to consistently be amongst the top in the e-fed. I loved the writing in this and have found this to be a regular thing reading your promos. Recently your work has been engaging and really draws the reader in. Your descriptions don’t feel repetitive, you use a lot of unique vocabulary and overall it’s really high standard stuff. You set scene and tone like no other. There was a pretty good focus on the match throughout and I really liked the little things you included to allude to various factors in the match such as the Meltdown Group sending one hunter. The treasure hunter story was really fun and I quite enjoyed that we got to look at it through the lens of characters other than Cyrus. This really allowed you to flex your general writing prowess. The length was spot on. It ran perfect for me. Nothing felt rushed and I was ready for the promo to end just when it did. Paced expertly.

    I’ve very little to say in the way of presentation. It was pretty much rock solid presentation and spelling wise. The coding is really neat and tidy – again I think tables make shit look more uniform. Personally, I don’t like italics for description text because I feel you can add emphasis using italics in description but a really small nitpick. Close enough to perfection.

    This was a creative idea, for sure. There’s no doubt it was a good concept and usually it’d appear uber creative but like I said to Krash, it is hampered a little by other RP’s in the same match being conceptually similar. Thematically it’s a different beast than the rest but stripped back, concepts are a little similar to make this truly light up the creativity category. However, I do think that your decision to tell the story from a POV other than Cyrus bumped this to an 8 and thought it was a really neat approach to take albeit with what I felt, a significant drawback.

    You’ve done solid work with the character sections, truly, you have. The scores may not look like that but I think you’ve done really well with the hand you’ve dealt yourself here. In taking the approach you did to the promo, you put yourself in a very hard position to score highly in the character sections. Your character is a significant but small part of the story you’ve told. I think you’ve portrayed the main crew wonderfully but I’ve taken this category to mean your own character portrayal and development. When your character is absent for most of the promo it’s hard to get enough in to score really really high here. I think you done well and there was enough soundbites and insinuations to portray Cyrus as someone to fear and Cyrus silently going around taking everyone out and all was pretty on point portrayal but like I said, for me, there wasn’t enough direct focus here to really shine. Development faced the same uphill task, there isn’t much to compare him from start to finish. I absolutely loved when Cyrus did speak at the end but it really left me wanting more.

    "So it never really mattered if you sent more people or if Fallout sent an army. I would've seen them all fall to snag this prize. That's just who I am."


    We get into this a bit more? We’re hitting 4s on the character sections I reckon and that’s you right in the mix of the top of my grades.

    This was a truly smashing read. Maybe the best written piece but I think there was an obvious pitfall to this promo from the outset and while you done a really good job navigating it, for me at least, it proved to still be the reason you weren’t at the very top of the grades in this particular match (which was of outstanding quality). A very good read and a promo I can see myself revisiting out of sheer enjoyment.


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    Re: FWA 16th Anniversary Show | Card/Promo Discussion Thread

    Mike Parr
    Quality of content (2.5)/match selling (2.5)/theme (2.5)/ story (2.5)/length(3) = 13/15
    Presentation/spelling/grammar = 4/5
    Creativity in approach, theme, style, story = 9/10
    Character portrayal = 3.5/5
    Character development = 3.5/5
    ​OVERALL - 33/40

    I found this to have a quite excellent standard of content, something I’ve come to expect from you and this match tbh. I think this made a good go of hitting all the checkpoints looked for in a main-level promo. If a guy came to me and said “HEY! How do I bump my 9/15 10/15 to like a 12/15?” I’d tell them to look no further than any big Parr promo. You have quite excellent ideas that are always well implemented, and this was the case here. It lacked a slight edge and I think that was due to the Parr’s absence, but I still think it was tremendously written. Your dialogue is terrific (a noted strength of yours across the board, I often feel this bleeds into The New Breeds promos). The length was spot on for me too. Ran perfect.

    Extremely solid in your presentation with no glaring errors and it actually felt like you made an effort to smarten it up and make it even neater than usual however I don’t dig the dialogue format you opt for with the

    NAME
    “The things the person says inserted here.”

    Also felt weird to have the Parr speech at the end break the pattern and just have dialogue with no name tag. Minor nitpick about it not being uniform and I know the green is a strong enough signifier that it’s Parr but still something I should address as I didn’t give this a perfect 5 and it was really for a variety of small reasons. The spoiler tags look clunky and break up the flow of the promo some … though I don’t know if there’s another way to present this in the fashion you opted for? Perhaps boxes within the main box? Noted in the Cyrus review but it’s relevant here; the italicized text for description isn’t the optimum look for me as I think it takes away from emphasis opportunities. You’ve quite a strong narrative voice too so it’d link well.

    Creatively; I absolutely loved it. Your promo stood out amongst what was mostly “alternative world/mass cast” promos. This was just two guys in a room talking about Parr and trying to sell us on why he should win. It seems so simple but the approach stood out and there were a plethora of little touches that made it jump out. So in these matches it’s rather difficult to not do a list promo in some form. You want to address each opponent, and I think every promo followed this pattern to some degree. Where this stood out for me, was the fact that there wasn’t a quest like element of it (golden opp) and trying to eliminate the opponents along the way. Instead, I think you quite excellently used something that was established in the shows and fed – Parr being knocked out – to set up Watkins and Robinson using different coloured solutions to try and get a reaction and lifeline on Parr but more importantly use it to address history with opponents and highlight why Parr should dust them. The violet “purple” solution was clever-clever. Very nice touch. Also clever with the radio playing to finally link in Peacock and wake up Parr. Very cute writer.

    You addressed it yourself but Parr being absent (at least in terms of speech) presents a rather unique challenge like the one Cyrus had. It is pretty difficult to hit the highest hights in CP and CD grading categories when your character has one line. (Though it was a pretty fucking funny line). I think you did a slightly stronger job with this than Cyrus. I only use Cyrus as he’s the most immediate, relevant and direct example when it comes to grading this promo. I think Robinson and Watkins were used in a very intelligent manner to get across Parr’s character and show some development for the man. It felt like as Watkins and Robinson were used as a medium to convince the readers of Parr’s capabilities and to shine light on his motives and developments BUT unfortunately it still loses some oomph for me. This sort of stuff in this high end of a match hits harder coming from the horse’s mouth. Even the last Peacock line made me go oooh nice! Then immediately frown at the ending because I wanted more from Parr of this nature. Still, I think you done exceedingly well in this situation to score how you did, good stuff.

    Yeah this is good shit all around and I think refreshingly different than the other options. I know you’re sick of hearing this but one day soon these main event promos are gonna click when it matters most. You’re a routine 32+ which is insane on the current scale. You pop that score regularly, I think you’ve been just unfortunate but honestly, it’s going to click one day on THE day and we’re gonna have a new world champion. I’m convinced of it. Really good shit Prodigy, dying for this Summers feud.


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    Re: FWA 16th Anniversary Show | Card/Promo Discussion Thread

    Randy Ramon
    Quality of content (2.5)/match selling (3)/theme (2.5)/ story (3)/length(3) = 14/15
    Presentation/spelling/grammar = 4.5/5
    Creativity in approach, theme, style, story = 8/10
    Character portrayal = 5/5
    Character development = 4/5
    OVERALL - 35.5/40

    Fantastic stuff here. Top notch writing and you brought your A+ game in my opinion. I felt there was a smashing emphasis on the opponents in the match itself here, maybe the best posted. The detail given to each different opponent and what aspects they bring to the table and what they meant for Ramon felt really well done and the story you took us on was one I really enjoyed. The only thing really holding this up in any slight way (and bare in mind ANY criticism here is going to be incredibly nitpicky as this is a class promo) is the fact that it felt a little bit thematically similar to other promos in the same match. Incredible work here, a slightly longer offering than Parr/Cyrus but I felt this worked perfectly lengthwise for the story you were telling.

    Beautiful, beautiful work on the presentation. The chapter layout is clean and the graphics is sweet. I don’t feel formatted in this vein, that the spoiler tags were clunky but I could do without them still and let this read as a full flow. But that’s just a slight preference. Again, not huge on italics being used for descriptors but overall this looked really lovely. Really crisp and clean stuff here.

    I thought creatively this was good work. I think the idea of drinking the absinth and going on a trip of sorts was fun but not particularly unique at this juncture, trips are something you, myself and others have used before and while it was fun and unique enough to be a better than good creative score (8 is pretty great shit going by the grading scale criteria) I feel we’ve seen this sort of thing before for it to hit top scores. I think you were creative in your interactions with the other contenders though and things like Krash yielding the razzle jewel were super nice touches to a good premise. Executed well but I think the “quest” similarities to promos for this match and the general “tripping out due to -insert substance-” being done a bit recently hampered your creativity score just a little here.

    Character portrayal was top notch from start to finish. From the first time you wrote Ramon dialogue in Chapter 1 in this RP it was the fucking Rockstar. His shout-out to DG, his mannerisms in requesting another drink, even the “it was a milkshake right?” it’s all very on brand and it’s a thread that continues to be weaved throughout each chapter. If this was a posted blind and in black and white with all names redacted, we’d still know it was Randy. Randy’s jovial and somewhat juvenile sort of way of speaking and taunting his opponents was on full display here and I like it’s something you retained (Rockstar’s unique brand of humour “what do you think of them apples you dirty bird” etc) throughout the whole RP. There was very obvious development here from start to finish and it was interwoven really well with each meeting and each jewel obtained. I particularly loved the interlude before Cyrus with “the Frenchman”. The was brilliant stuff and really good development for randy as a character. Beautiful actually. I hope it wasn’t missed by others. What stops this dinging for me, and it could be ultra harsh, is I felt I’ve seen the rest of the character development presented here before for you. The journey to the top type thing. It reminded me slightly of the also excellent CC mountain promo you posted. I thought you had excellent development but there was still something very minute missing for me to fully fully bite as hard as I could that THIS time is the right time for Ramon. I felt it was missing just that tiny bit of hop to bring it up that one notch more from the CC promo where you were just a shade off winning overall as well.

    Linking that final thought into my overall closing comments; this “setback” (kayfabe. This is 35.5 on the new scale. That must be 38 on the old. This is incredible work) could actually be that last little shake you need to bump that character development all the way up to the full 5. Taking that into account, if you write like this, with your continued excellent portrayal (I think this is a given as It seems you just inherently write him like this now) of Ramon and you spring a decently creative idea … I think that’s a score that’ll win the world title no matter what. It feels dirty giving any criticism to a promo that scored a score I personally don’t think I’d achieve but as I graded the match and the grades were used, I feel obliged to try and show you were those missing 4.5 points went. But honestly? Spectacular work here man.
    Last edited by Tig; 08-10-2021 at 06:58 PM.


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