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Thread: FWA Payback Promo Discussion Thread

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    FWA Payback Promo Discussion Thread

    Discuss promos here!



    3x FWA World Heavyweight Champion
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    5x FWA Tag Team Champion


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    Re: FWA Payback Promo Discussion Thread

    I will hopefully get time for reviews but having read it, I feel the need to say that Cyrus losing streak is the greatest mystery to me as every promo I read is still quality. I don't get it.

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    Re: FWA Payback Promo Discussion Thread

    I dont think his quality has dropped at all. I think it's more that everyone else is firing on all cylinders.

    MVH, Golden, Parr, Krash, Gabby, Sullivan, Kazadi, Dianond, Garcia....That's as strong of a main event scene as I can remember in a long time.

    Not to mention guys like Black, Randall, and Knox amongst others stepping up their game, going for the crown

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    Re: FWA Payback Promo Discussion Thread

    Michelle von Horowitz: Alright, first things first I'll just get this out of the way. I abso-freaking-lutely loved this promo. From start to finish, just amazing.

    Just promise you wont write anything anywhere near this good when Gabs and MvH inevitably face off, okay.

    I loved how this promo was more built around the World Title as opposed to the X Title. That seems like a silly statement with this being an X Title match but in light of recent events it was a really smart move. Everyone else in the X Title picture was given an opportunity at the World Title, except Michelle, so of course she'd feel slighted by that. It tied so many threads together, and made this promo about more than just Michelle defending the X Title, she wants a shot a bigger prizes now.

    I dont think I've said before how much I enjoy Michelle referring to people as 'Tulips'. Considering the brutal nature of her words, her wit, her arrogance and the way she puts everyone else down a word like "Tulips" scattered around the promo introduces this random lightness to it all.

    The entire dream sequence was written so well. Just enough description provided to be able to picture the scene without it being too wordy. It was perfectly over the top and extravagant. And I really enjoyed how basically the entire FWA was standing between her and Sullivan/Gabby. Keeping her from the World Title. It was really cool to see so many different FWA and CWA Wrestlers in this , again it tied so many things together and made this promo about more than just an X Title defence.

    Just amazing work, there isn't a single word I'd change about this promo.

    Dave Sullivan: I'll try and review it more in depth later, but for now I just have to say DAAAAMN! Your creativity is unreal. These different scenarios, settings and Worlds you put Sullivan and the FWA World into is just amazing.



    Quote Originally Posted by Sayer View Post
    I dont think his quality has dropped at all. I think it's more that everyone else is firing on all cylinders.

    MVH, Golden, Parr, Krash, Gabby, Sullivan, Kazadi, Dianond, Garcia....That's as strong of a main event scene as I can remember in a long time.

    Not to mention guys like Black, Randall, and Knox amongst others stepping up their game, going for the crown
    I've said it before but its as competitive in the FWA thesedays as its ever been, more competitive. Most of the roster can knock off anyone on any given night. Like in the past there's been a clearly established group of top guys who were largely untouchable and could easily write a better promo than most of the roster. Thesedays I know I have to bring my A game every time I write a promo.
    Credit to Comeback Kid for the GFX

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    Re: FWA Payback Promo Discussion Thread

    MVH: Enjoyed this one as well. It did feel kind of sectioned in half into two distinct parts, but I thought it transitioned well. The diversity here where you touch in almost everyone really comes off well. I can't wait to see MVH move past the X Division and into higher territories.

    Mike Parr: Love the progressive letters. It is a creative way to freshen things up, and reminds me of when they show like football players who wrote things like this as kids. I wish it stayed this way throughout the whole promo though. Like you went from then to now. But I still think you did well in the second part. Your monologuee against Krash goes off really well, and you tie in the JPW part we'll.

    Kazadi: Super creative. Have a kid acting up at work so I'll finish this soon.

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    Re: FWA Payback Promo Discussion Thread

    Kazadi: Formatting felt too black and white with no color but maybe that was the approach for this. I'm reading on my phone so I can't see if there's any font changes. Really enjoyed the linear story telling of this however. This felt very RPG ish which is super unique and cool. My only gripe again is I felt it could've had some more formatting color wise.

    Cyrus: The backstage POV flashback with Diamond is super cool. I always like flashbacks like this involving other wrestlers. It's like bonus material, and it really reflects on the relationship Cyrus and Diamond have which then sets the tone for this. College lecture is a really unique promo setting, and love the dialog from the random professor. Your monologue was so detailed and well written. You come in definitely standing apart as Cyrus is the only one who's had the championship before. But your theme of affirmation fits well. The ending was very visual and thematic with Cyrus tossing the chalk over his shoulder, I enjoyed that.

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    Re: FWA Payback Promo Discussion Thread

    JK: Think you'd do best if you had one character, and put the effort you did for these two promos together into one. They're good in quality, but I always feel like it's just too short. I enjoyed the Jackson and Nate promo more than Randall. I think if you do keep Randall he needs a shake up because I just don't vibe with him. Jackson and Nate have really good chemistry and I think you did a good job here mixing in the highlights.

    Knox: Really can't express enough how much I've enjoyed your work recently. Your formatting looks great, but your quality has gotten so well too. I'm so invested in Knox and his story. Your scene setting skills are getting really good and I can visualize the rainy Vegas that you describe. The background flashback into Knox and what's made him works so well, and I know why. It's great that you're channelling that into developing Knox as a character, and I think it's what made Knox seem so real. I feel like every time I read one of your promos I think it's your best yet. This one was SOOO good character development wise. I do think it lacked a little bit of meat in regards to your opponent, but I think we just talked about in the discord how sometimes a promo that focuses on your own chances is way better anyway than a bunch of meaningless fluff on your opponent. This one just really worked for me. I loved it.

    Cromwell: This one was very Cromwell centered. So much dialog from him that I think was needed to flesh him out development wise. Your scene details describing the bar are well written. But I think this promo lacked a quality theme that I expect from a PPV promo. Character development was really solid here, but theme and creativity wise I felt could've been stronger. I know you have the ability to make characters stand out amongst the crowd, because I've seen it with Bell. How can you make Cromwell stand out? Like I said with Randall, I think Cromwell could benefit from a total makeover.

    Krash: One of my favorites I've read from you in the FWA to date. First of all I remember critiquing you in the past and saying formatting felt bland. I love your formatting here. It flows really well, and it's crazy just how centering the text and adding an image up top makes it look so much better. Content wise you set the scene so well right off the bat making me visualize those annoying lights. The grim morgue/hospital setting is so well done because you set the tone so well in the beginning. Reminded me of that one mission from GTA 5 for some reason. This was one of my favorites from you by far.

    Diamond: I love hooks at the beginning that don't jump right into scene descriptions, but rather start out with a more casual narration. This one read like an intro to the Twilight Zone at first but I don't know if that was intended. Your sandman dream theme would've been perfect for MVH if you ever went up against her but it fits here too. It's funny reading promos that target Sullivan's reign over the FWA, the delirium, when Sullivan himself used to say the same stuff about Cyrus. Now he's became the virus he hates.

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    Re: FWA Payback Promo Discussion Thread

    Alyster Black: I'm not sure how I feel about your modest approach. Because while it's accurate in ways I also think it dampens Black's strength. It reflects Black's own personality, and if the self conscious low ego approach is what you're building around right now it works. But hopefully this match no matter the outcome gives Black the road work to really develop some confidence. If he wins most definitely, but even with a loss he has more bragging rights than the entire X Division at the moment. Your scene setting and writing is really good, and I liked the medieval setting and world you have going with The King. The ending really caps off what I was talking about for confidence. Very enjoyable stuff.

    Phone is almost dead and have two hours left at work. I'll review the rest later at home.

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    Re: FWA Payback Promo Discussion Thread

    Yea my promo this week was actually pretty emtional to me and it was based on my life and shit. So I was pretty emotionally drained after and actually got pretty depressed after writing it idk if thats a good or bad thing lol



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    Re: FWA Payback Promo Discussion Thread

    Golden: Such a creative approach to write this through the perspective of Devin's dog, but hearing all the dialog. But this promo character development wise is a 10 for me, this and the Knox promo were the stars for this week for me in the character development range. Golden wrestling with retirement again, figuring out if he he wants to continue. It's a unique position most people on the roster aren't close to being in yet. Also like Knox you don't make this at all about Kazadi, but rather Golden and I like that. This promo really worked for me. Unique and very rich in development. This was a pay per view quality promo.

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    Re: FWA Payback Promo Discussion Thread

    I appreciate the feedback on my stuff, I do agree that Randall needs a change to freshen him up. I have an idea what I want to do with him but I’m not sure yet.

    A lot of good work this week, really good turnout. It wasn’t easy grading any of the ones that I had to grade, but the talent that we have here is legit.


    Rest in power, Flock U
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    Re: FWA Payback Promo Discussion Thread

    I'm cautious of making hyperbolic, in-the-moment declarations. So part of me is hesitant to say this, but the other part of me truly believes it.

    Considering the build-up to this moment — the evolution of the feud, the creativity of the angle, the rollercoaster-like back-and-forth match results and title-holders — and the actual output, the combined promo quality for the actual match itself ... this might be my favorite and in my opinion the best North American Championship match ever. I can think of some feuds that rival it, but I can't think of one singular match, considering build-up and context involved, that is equal or better.

    Those two promos are damn-straight absolutely brilliant, a massive payoff for a proper conclusion to this rivalry. An extraordinary effort from you both. The creativity involved in both promos was outlandishly excellent, and wildly different and unique from one another. Krash's detail and the content involved were extraordinary. The creativity and direction of a coroner's office, with 49 dead bodies all being his own, hit the spot. Mike Parr's development of character, and the peeling back of layers, from 8-year-old him to 16-year-old him to present day, was the best I've seen in a promo in quite some time.

    I read them back to back. It's the toughest match of the night to determine a winner. Easily the toughest. I usually grade in 0.5-point increments for each of the four categories. I will have to grade in 0.25-point increments for each category to do this justice. Both of those promos are worthy of a North American Championship win. You could argue they're both worthy of a World Championship win. Sucks that one has to lose, but take solace in knowing this match has, in my eyes, carved out a memorable stature, a place in our history for all positive reasons.

    If you're new to the FWA, or you're trying to learn still, read those promos. They are a clinic in how to: A.) Show up for a big-time PPV match; B.) Include emotion, vulnerability and character depth all together; C.) Bookend a months-long feud and story in a conclusion-seeking manner; and D.) Put over your opponent's character, your match, and in turn your own character. Neither of them ruthlessly tried to bury their opponent. They built their opponent up. They showered them as important, offered semblances of respect, and expressed the match (in their own distinctly different ways) as brutal and unlike any other.

    I keep editing this post and adding on because I can't talk about those two promos enough.

    That's a good review, I suppose.
    Last edited by The Golden One; 06-09-2020 at 08:43 PM.



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    5x FWA Tag Team Champion


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    Re: FWA Payback Promo Discussion Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by The Golden One View Post
    I'm cautious of making hyperbolic, in-the-moment declarations. So part of me is hesitant to say this, but the other part of me truly believes it.

    Considering the build-up to this moment — the evolution of the feud, the creativity of the angle, the rollercoaster-like back-and-forth match results and title-holders — and the actual output, the combined promo quality for the actual match itself ... this might be my favorite and in my opinion the best North American Championship match ever. I can think of some feuds that rival it, but I can't think of one singular match, considering build-up and context involved, that is equal or better.

    Those two promos are damn-straight absolutely brilliant, a massive payoff for a proper conclusion to this rivalry. An extraordinary effort from you both. The creativity involved in both promos was outlandishly excellent, and wildly different and unique from one another. Krash's detail and the content involved were extraordinary. The creativity and direction of a coroner's office, with 49 dead bodies all being his own, hit the spot. Mike Parr's development of character, and the peeling back of layers, from 8-year-old him to 16-year-old him to present day, was the best I've seen in a promo in quite some time.

    I read them back to back. It's the toughest match of the night to determine a winner. Easily the toughest. I usually grade in 0.5-point increments for each of the four categories. I will have to grade in 0.25-point increments for each category to do this justice. Both of those promos are worthy of a North American Championship win. You could argue they're both worthy of a World Championship win. Sucks that one has to lose, but take solace in knowing this match has, in my eyes, carved out a memorable stature, a place in our history for all positive reasons.

    If you're new to the FWA, or you're trying to learn still, read those promos. They are a clinic in how to: A.) Show up for a big-time PPV match; B.) Include emotion, vulnerability and character depth all together; C.) Bookend a months-long feud and story in a conclusion-seeking manner; and D.) Put over your opponent's character, your match, and in turn your own character. Neither of them ruthlessly tried to bury their opponent. They built their opponent up. They showered them as important, offered semblances of respect, and expressed the match (in their own distinctly different ways) as brutal and unlike any other.

    I keep editing this post and adding on because I can't talk about those two promos enough.

    That's a good review, I suppose.
    Coming from you, this is an amazing compliment. Thank you.



    Side note: Will try to do some reviews but have been slammed at work so far this week so can't promise anything yet, haven't read all of them yet but looks like amazing work all round.

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    Re: FWA Payback Promo Discussion Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by The Golden One View Post
    I'm cautious of making hyperbolic, in-the-moment declarations. So part of me is hesitant to say this, but the other part of me truly believes it.

    Considering the build-up to this moment — the evolution of the feud, the creativity of the angle, the rollercoaster-like back-and-forth match results and title-holders — and the actual output, the combined promo quality for the actual match itself ... this might be my favorite and in my opinion the best North American Championship match ever. I can think of some feuds that rival it, but I can't think of one singular match, considering build-up and context involved, that is equal or better.

    Those two promos are damn-straight absolutely brilliant, a massive payoff for a proper conclusion to this rivalry. An extraordinary effort from you both. The creativity involved in both promos was outlandishly excellent, and wildly different and unique from one another. Krash's detail and the content involved were extraordinary. The creativity and direction of a coroner's office, with 49 dead bodies all being his own, hit the spot. Mike Parr's development of character, and the peeling back of layers, from 8-year-old him to 16-year-old him to present day, was the best I've seen in a promo in quite some time.

    I read them back to back. It's the toughest match of the night to determine a winner. Easily the toughest. I usually grade in 0.5-point increments for each of the four categories. I will have to grade in 0.25-point increments for each category to do this justice. Both of those promos are worthy of a North American Championship win. You could argue they're both worthy of a World Championship win. Sucks that one has to lose, but take solace in knowing this match has, in my eyes, carved out a memorable stature, a place in our history for all positive reasons.

    If you're new to the FWA, or you're trying to learn still, read those promos. They are a clinic in how to: A.) Show up for a big-time PPV match; B.) Include emotion, vulnerability and character depth all together; C.) Bookend a months-long feud and story in a conclusion-seeking manner; and D.) Put over your opponent's character, your match, and in turn your own character. Neither of them ruthlessly tried to bury their opponent. They built their opponent up. They showered them as important, offered semblances of respect, and expressed the match (in their own distinctly different ways) as brutal and unlike any other.

    I keep editing this post and adding on because I can't talk about those two promos enough.

    That's a good review, I suppose.
    no one review my promo unless you're gonna praise it like this.


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