Review of ECW on Sci Fi

Bronco

ECW - July 4, 2006

Amy Spears - Tuesday, July 4 2006

Happy 4th of July everyone. I hope you all had a wonderful Holiday.

Before I start the review, I would just like to make a remark about last night’s Raw. For those not interested, you can just skip the next four paragraphs.

Last night, Raw crowned a new Champion. Edge. This is the second time WWE has placed the belt on him. Let’s hope that this time they have learned from past mistakes and keep the belt on him for more than a few weeks.

To set the record straight, despite what people say, with his initial title reign, Edge WAS NOT a transitional Champion. The definition of a transitional champion is the individual that holds the title for a brief period of time between two completely different champions. For example, Chris Benoit held the title, Randy Orton took it from him at Summer Slam 2004, only to lose the title a month later at Unforgiven 2004 to Triple H. That is a transitional champion. Edge won the title at New Years Revolution 2006 from John Cena, and lost it at the Royal Rumble 2006 to…yup…John Cena. And, unless the powers that be are playing an extremely cruel joke on us and there are two mediocre wrestlers called John Cena, this puts the whole talk of being a transitional champion out the window, so please, folks. Let’s put this put this portion of his championship to rest.

For the second time this year, WWE has made Edge the “Go To” guy, that alone should say something about him. He got it done when Kurt Angle and the ever powerful Triple H himself couldn’t. Let’s just hope that this time they let him run with it and give him a little of the respect he’s worked so hard to earn.

Congratulations Edge. Finally WWE has a champion that, love him or hate him, the fans have to respond to and last time I checked, that was what it’s all about.

10:00 – Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

On what should’ve been a festive holiday edition of ECW, the show instead opens with Paul Heyman addressing the crowd, and in light of the events of the last few days, I do believe that it is necessary.

Paul Heyman stands in his office and addresses the fans stating that last night RVD lost the title but RVD is still the holder of the ECW title. He goes on to say that RVD has subjected himself to a schedule that no other champion has ever had to hold before. He states that tonight they’re going to proudly acknowledge RVD’s accomplishments…but before he could finish, Big Show barges in and states that Paul promised him that if he jumped he would get a title shot. Heyman tries to back peddle but Big Show doesn’t let him and demands that he get his title match tonight. (Gee, anyone else see that one coming? To quote Jerry Lawler…”RVD’s career has certainly gone up in smoke).

10:03 – Kelly comes out as Tazz and Joey Styles go back and forth about Big Show’s title match. In an All-American snore fest, Kelly, draped in a flag comes out and does her usual smutty act. Well, at least we’re getting this over with early tonight… Surprise surprise, in a shocking turn of events, Mike Knox runs out and covers her, dragging her off.

10:05 – Mike Knox makes his way to the ring where Little Guido is waiting. Before the match starts Knox grabs the microphone and says that he’s sorry to spoil the fun but Kelly is his girlfriend and she’s all his. Little Guido has enough and just starts the fight.

MIKE KNOX vs. LITTLE GUIDO

Little Guido climbs the ropes and tries to take down Knox. Knox turns the tables and gets a backbreaker in and goes for a quick cover. Little Guido kicks out. The Crowd overpowers everything else with a “You can’t wrestle chant”, they’re right. Tazz even points that out, but he also says that in his opinion Mike Knox can fight. Who cares about his opinion.

Mike Knox pummels Little Guido and gets him with three body slams in a row (while the crowd chants are edited out).

Little Guido starts working Knox’s knee, and ends up eating a boot as payback. Instead of going to a pin and putting everyone out of their misery, Knox picks up Little Guido and takes a few more shots before getting the pin.

WINNER -- MIKE KNOX (and in my opinion all the fans as this match is over)

10:10 – We get a re-cap of last nights Monday Night Raw’s triple threat match. We get to see Cena hit the FU on RVD and then Edge taking out Cena and pinning RVD to win the title. We also get to see the really cool scene of the horrified little child who couldn’t be wearing more Cena

RVD busts into Heyman’s office about Big Show trying to bully Heyman into having the match. RVD insists that Heyman set the match up. He says that ECW is not going to be the kind of place where the big guys run the show just based on their size. Heyman begs him not to, but RVD walks out to go personally accept the challenge. (Yeah, like anyone is buying that RVD is doing this to be noble…HELLO GETTING BUSTED REMOVES ALL RIGHT TO BE NOBLE)

***COMMERCIAL BREAK***

10:16– Return from commercial break to a Hypocrite…err, excuse me, Test vignette.

Tazz and Joey discuss the Test vignette when they are interrupted by Preacher or Priest, something like that (decent Indy wrestler I’ve been lucky enough to catch a few times). Preacher goes on about how disgusted he is with this type of programming and how we should be ashamed of ourselves and that we’re sinners for enjoying it. He hands the mic back and goes back over the railing to take his seat.

Enter, Sandman. First thing he does is stand on the railing and scouts the audience for Preacher. He finds him and stares him down. Preacher tries to insist that he has a ticket…and this matters because???

Sandman yanks him over the railing and yells at him about saying things about ECW. He starts to cane him. He then stands there and laughs as Preacher makes his way out.

10:22 – RVD confronts Big Show in the locker room. Slaps him across the face, tells him he likes that he challenged him and accepts the challenge.

***COMMERCIAL BREAK***

10:26 – Return from break to plug the new book “The Rise and Fall of ECW”. Not a bad read.

RVD walks down the hall and bumps into Heyman who, again, yells at RVD about accepting the title defense. RVD insists that he IS ECW and that he’s on the top of the world. He claims that to be ECW he has to beat Big Show. Heyman seems to catch on and says he understands. Heyman agrees that the match is on and that it’s ECW rules.

Test makes his way to the ring followed by Al Snow and Head. Boy it’s good to see Al Snow and Head again. Very entertaining.

TEST vs. AL SNOW

Snow barely has time to put Head in the corner before Test races at him and starts kicking Snow. He then runs across the ring (timed by a very nice “You take Steroids” chant) and slams into Snow. Snow gets in a few defensive shots before Test picks up Snow and hits him with a Neckbreaker to get the three count.

WINNER – TEST

After the match, Test picks up Head. He places Head in the center of the ring, gets a running start and kicks Head into the crowd where one very happy fan catches it.

Cut to a Sabu vignette. It showcases the Suicidal, Homicidal and Genocidal aspects of Sabu’s personality. It shows some amazing clips from past matches, but accomplishes nothing.

***COMMERCIAL BREAK***

10:36 – Great American Bash commercial…interesting, they’re advertising matches that haven’t been announced because Smackdown hasn’t aired yet…

CM Punk is shown backstage doing a promo, he states that he’s straight edge. Doesn’t drink, smoke, do drugs (really nice jab there). His addiction is wrestling….are they finally going to give him his shot???

10:38 – Big Show makes his way to the ring. With the main event starting this early in the show I’m hunkering down for a royal snooze fest. We all get to sit around and stare at Big Show for a moment. I guess we need to see just how big he is, in case we’ve forgotten.

RVD’s music hits and he makes his way to the ring. Takes a moment to slap the hands of the fans. Funny, not a lot of cheers….

RVD gets in the ring as Tazz and Styles say how their money is on RVD. Guess they don’t read the internet huh? After RVD climbs the ropes and spins around we have to listen to the introductions…can you say time killer? Could this be because Big Show isn’t capable of having a full blown match?

***COMMERCIAL BREAK***

10:44 – We return from commercial break and the match actually starts.

BIG SHOW vs. RVD – ECW HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH

RVD and Show circle the ring while a hearty RVD chant echo’s in the building…or was it a marijuana chant? Hard to tell as they do edit out these chants so frequently tonight.

After a wasted minute RVD makes a move. He kicks Show twice before Show knocks him down with one big hand. He then headbutts RVD out of the ring while the fans chant “You can’t wrestle”.

Show picks up RVD to slam his head into the ring post but RVD wiggles out at the last minute and Show hits his head. RVD then jumps on Show’s back but Show knocks him down onto the railing. The pair wander into the crowd.

RVD gets hit with a chop and heads through the fans. Show follows and hits him again. For two wrestlers being in the crowd, the fans don’t seem overly into it. They just think it’s cool to be on TV.

RVD takes several more shots by Big Show before Show throws him back over the railing. RVD climbs into the railing and kicks Show in the head. While Show is bent over the railing RVD climbs onto the apron and jumps, kicking Show in the head.

***COMMERCIAL BREAK***

I hate to say it but the commercial break was more interesting than the match so far. I don’t know about you guys, but my area got the cute little Geico Gecko commercial about pie and chips. Boy that little critter is cute…anyway, back to the show…

10:52 – We return to the match that I think is already in progress, but those could’ve just been some accidental moves that happened before we took the commercial break…
We come back to RVD rolling around in pain. Looks like Big Show had hit RVD on the railing (can’t tell, all happened during the commercial). While Show pummels RVD, Styles and Tazz go on and on about how terrible RVD’s schedule has been.

RVD sits in the corner as Show climbs the ropes. RVD punches him in the head a few times, but Show grabs RVD by the head and does a somewhat impressive superplex off of the rope. Big Show goes for the cover. He gets a two count before RVD kicks out.

Show picks RVD up by the head, bends him back and kicks him down. He goes for another cover, but again, just the two count. RVD gets up, dazed and gets a boot to the head for his efforts. He gets RVD to the corner then steps on him.

Show grabs him by the leg and yanks him to the center of the ring again, picks him up and body slams him to the ground while the fans chant “Marijuana” again. Show goes for another cover. Again, just a two count.

RVD uses the ropes to slowly climb up. Show grabs RVD by the hair, takes him to the center of the ring and gives him a bear hug. Show bends RVD in half and smothers him. He picks RVD up and gives him a back breaker. He wedges RVD’s shoulders in his knee and pushes down on his neck while RVD wiggles like he has bugs. Sorry, not impressed. Still bored.

RVD manages to get away and knocks big show down. He goes to use the ropes and Show catches him for the choke slam. RVD counters and hits Show with a DDT, they both crumple. RVD gets up and hits him with a cross body, drop kick and rolling thunder. He pins Show. Show tosses him like a sack of potatoes.

In the corner Show gets hit with RVD. As he stumbles RVD climbs the ropes and launches himself at RVD to get caught (well DUH!). Show tosses him out of the ring. As RVD struggles to get up Show goes to hit him with the steps but RVD moves and Show hits himself in the head with the steps. RVD climbs the ropes and flies, but Show catches him, squishes him between the apron and his body then tosses him in the ring. Show climbs in the ring and catches RVD again, dragging him around by his hair. RVD escapes Big Show and grabs a chair.

Show swats down the chair and gives RVD a choke slam and covers him. Still just a 2 count. Angry, Show grabs the ref and tosses him like a rag doll. Now there is no ref.

Show grabs RVD who counters his move by hitting him in the head with a steel chair. RVD goes for the cover. Duh again, no ref!! RVD climbs the ropes, hits him with the frog splash but there is no ref. Heyman runs out counts to 2 then stops. RVD stares at him in disbelief as Heyman refuses to hit the 3 count.

The fans chant “You sold out” as Heyman leaves the ring. RVD turns around gets hit with the chair and then choke slammed onto the chair. Heyman counts to three.

WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION – BIG SHOW

DEAD SILENCE FROM THE CROWD…the silence speaks volumes on this one. But, on the flip side…anyone who was surprised by the title change, please, pay me a visit. I have my tack hammer out. You can’t miss me, I’m the one with the pink hair hitting folks with a tack hammer.

PINK HAIRED PERSPECTIVE:

Wow, can it be any more obvious that Vince has taken over even more aspects of ECW production?? Right down to Joey and Tazz no longer calling matches but bantering about the storylines just like a skinnier and younger set of King & JR.

As far as I’m concerned, what RVD does on RVD’s time is his own business, but as he got caught and it’s public knowledge that he violated rules of the company, why are they making excuses for him? Why let him go out this way? He doesn’t deserve it. He knew what he was doing when he did it. If this was ANYONE else (ok, except maybe Cena or Triple H, but even they have enough class to not pull that), they would’ve already been fired.

Ok, considering the number of shows ECW has under its belt now, I was really hoping for better quality, but apparently, that’s not going to happen. The same mistake made with both Raw and Smackdown is being made with ECW. They are building an entire show around one person…one person who’s future is not certain at this point…did Vince forget what happened last time he made that mistake? Hello…BROCK…BATISTA…I’d go on, but it’s just not worth it.

An hour of airtime for ECW and only 3 matches, two of the three were just simple squash matches too.

Jimmy Wayne Yang

Um you write that column? If not it's best to give credit to who did.