Lemons Raw Review

Twist of lEMOn

With the Influx of ECW reviews (I'll give a shout out here: sup n00ble and his n00betes!) and with This being one of the biggest Raws in awhile I thought it would be completly Awesome to review this mofo and I will...in just a sec

Segment: Raw Opener/Main Event Build Up

The opening video package this week,...ehhh if you saw Raw Rebound on Smackdown you've probably already scene it, for a company with such high Production values it sure looked low budget, but I'm not here to rip on Production values or talk about the Opening Video.

DX show up, Coach says no entre(tna thing >_>)and DX leave giggling...not really much to say, besides the new dx shirts Suck O_o.

Anytime Edge opens raw you know its good and it was no diffrent this time, Edge runs the Mega Heel bag of tricks, Digging on Sports team, then compairing himself to the most hated man in the city. Can't go wrong with straight up heel heat. Cena and RVD get involved and somewhere down the line They make it a WWE Championship match insted of 3 way Tag match. Overall It was a good way to start off the show.

Match: Torrie Wilson Vs Lita

Meh, is pretty much the only way to discribe this match lol, I wont really bother to much with reviewing it, All i'll say is I hope you had Lita in your Fantasy this week...More points then you can shake a stick at I tells ya! anyhow Sqaush Job, Lita picks up the win suppose it gets the job done. what I dont under stand is Lita's Sporadic Domination of the Womens Divsion. It seems like everyone in awhile they just toss her on the card in a Sqaush but shes not actully in the Womens the Divsion O_o or anywhere near the title.

*
one snowflake..Sqaushs dont taste good, They dont look good in wrestling ethier.

Match: Spirit Sqaud Vs Hacksaw, Val Venis, Viscera, Eugene and Snitsky

The Sheer Number of people in this match is Mind boogling!...well Once you get over the fact theres so many freaking people in this match, It was...Okay considering it only went about five, maybe five and half mintues. pretty back and fourth but I have to say the WWE sure likes there Swanton Bomds latly, and The Ending was mark out worthy, Spirit Sqaud pick up the win Via Leg Drop/Swanton bomd and bam. Good ending to a lack luster match.

**

TWO FULL SNOWFLAKES!, It was alright lol nice build up towards the end of the night.

Segment: DX Part-eh

In short, HHH cuts a promo on Weiner size, then Tells HBK he sees Mr.Fuji and Mr.Religion goes to find him, HHH gets two girls to flash and Some major Ass shots happening from behinde the girls. I for one find it sorta funny lol Certinly not the best DX has ever done...Oh and HBK returns after missing the flashing.

Match: Matt Striker and Rob Conway Vs The Highlanders

lol Matt Striker, Hes a personal favorite of mine, and Rob Conway while hes not as cool since dropping the Juice, Is still a favorite of mine. But of course I loved The pairing of the two...cause there great Buuut of course WWE has to crush my hopes and dreams by doing a Sqaush match.

this really really could have been a better match cause, believe it or not It Is possible to put on a good match that makes the new team/returning guy look strong, and look the other team look strong, Sqaush matchs just kill the Heat for the Heels :-/ if they have any in the first place...Gah, Anyways

* 1/2

One and One Half of a snowflake? why cause its a Sqaush, Half a Snowflake for the Head Butt move thingy they did O_o.

Segment: HHH/Candice Orgasm/ Production Truck
...This is probably my second Favorite Segment of the night lol Just the sheer stupidness of it made me laugh, and Candice impressed me. She improved on her fake orgasms since backlash lol. HHH was meh BUT the point was two girls where giving Candice and Hunter ORAL SEX!

*controversy*

and down to the part that really matters HHH,HBK and Two girls find there way in to the Production truck, (Random question; O_o wtf happened to Candice in that scene? lol) anyhow theyre amazed by the amount of cameras, They press a button there note supposed to and bam...No Feed.

per standard WWE Practice theres Camera's in the mens room O_o? guess so, anyways They go to Camera 10...Highlight of the Segment Coach get pee'd on. Coach tells Vince hes on TV and meh this wasnt the best segment of the night but it was good. I enjoyed most of it...The Oral Sex part = gold.

Segment: Vince McMahon Promo/Pranks

XD, whats there to say about this?, I'm not even going to try to review all the things that went on during this Segment. Highlights of this Segment, Vince Loves Cock gets written on the screen lol I found that mildly funny, EVEN MORE SO, I found HBK's new "I dunno much" style gimmick very very very funny and Ive hated HBK for years lol. Very good Segment. One of the better ones of the night.

Match: Johnny Nitro Vs Carlito/ IC Title match

I must say I was really really looking foward to match being the huge Nitro mark that I am, and For the VERY short time it got it was pretty darn good. Botchy Back spinny type thing, Rana, Capporia (Sp O_o?) Leg Drop and Backcracker. so it was pretty fast for a WWE Match. at 3:00 (on the dot?) Le sigh melina gets Nitro DQ'd and meh Im not a fan of No finishs but this was a nice little match.

**....1/2

Two Snowflakes Count em!, oh yeah +1/2 for Nitro's Leg Drop + Botchy Spiny Thing.

But yeah, Trish Interfears...Bouncy Bouncy Attacks Melina! my god DX replays and...The DX replays really made this whole Segment enjoyable lol. Can't go wrong with those.

Segment: Diva Search

PEE BREAK!

Also vote for Melina

Match: Umaga Vs Scott Right

le sigh again, is it really needed to Have Umaga Destroy everyone, everyweek? Let alone on a show with 2 Sqaush Matchs that have Taken Place? Shove more people down my throat please.

Umaga wins and DX makes farting noises when AAE goes and trys to do his name thing.

1/2 *

Thats right :-/ not even one snowflake TAKE THAT SAMOA JOMAGA~! (meh crony joke of the review(waffle))

Segment: DX Blows up Vince McMahon/ Randy/Brooke Hogan
Yep, Pretty much what it says it is, I was pretty much bored seeing DX for the night when this happened lol but I really really dont get the logic behinde it, even though there probably is some. Maybe I just missed the message, Anyways, Green Smoke, Black paint on McMahon TOP NOTCH FX!

Randy comes out...and I think asks brooke hogan out...um...yeah O_o.

Match: Rob Van Dam (c) Vs John Cena Vs Edge
By far the best match of the night for me...best part of the night to, and I really have problems with the WWE bills there shit now and days, But this match was literly one of the best matchs, That I've seen since Cena Vs HHH at Wrestlemania. Theres certin parts of it that just Click and its not Great Mat wretsling, Its not High flying to the max. Its Just a Great Story telling match.

and That gets lost on alot of TNA fans but this match Had me on the edge of my seat afew times near the end such as

The Vandaminator, I was practicly screaming inside my head for RVD to make the cover after this, then when the 5 Star missed, I just felt my heart drop like "Cena is going to win this" then, Cena goes on a roll, Gets 5 out of 6 of his moves. Out of no where, BAM edge hits him. Probably one of the few matchs in awhile thats actully had some effect on the way that I was feeling at the time and hopefully people pick up on thats what the WWE Product should be about. Not the rediculous amount of Sqaush matches that they have. Anyways, Edge Pics up a Glorious win, and we see this Child completly looking compeltly crushed in the crowd lmafo.

*** 3/4

Three and Three Quaters of a Snowflake for this match, really great match overall, and just a great moment. +1/4 for the Devastated looking child after the match lol





Anyways hope you enjoyed the read.

The Hammer

Great Review TOL. It makes me wish I really would have seen it. Especially the title match.