Some Gems from WCW's Dying Days

Randy Orton

WC's Resident Alchoholic

So, in tribute to WCW, here is an ongoing collection of quotes I have been collecting that describe the disjointed entity that was World Championship Wrestling suitably:
Quote #1

"Nobody has any idea why they brought a live tiger from the zoo to accompany Steiner to the ring on Nitro. Backstage, when he was trying to get a photo with the tiger, the tiger nearly took a chuck out of Rey Mysterio's eye" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: October 10, 2000.

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Quote #2

"DDP came out wearing an expensive shirt and doing gestures exactly like The Rock, talking about Flair liking to spank it, whack it and jack it" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: September 1, 1999.
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Quote #3

"Madusa came out in a bikini. The implants looked ridiculous but this is a business of excess. She came out with Nitro cologne. It was the weirdest thing as Heenan was getting over just how horrible smelling the cologne is. It is a WCW product and they were pushing how bad it smelled. Madusa started screaming it was bullshit and threw the cologne on Heenan, who reacted like it smelled like cow manure. In fact, they actually used the word manure to describe the smell of the cologne. This was weird to say the least" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: November 1, 1999.

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Quote #4

"Scott Hall had problems on the first plane going to Germany, where he apparently got sick and was harrassing Terry Taylor the entire weekend in Germany. He got into a fight with sometime girlfriend Emily Sherman (neice of Turner exec Brad Siegel) including a cake throwing incident. In the dressing room, he made a threat that he was going to do something to Taylor in the ring. This led to a roughly 35 to 40 minute delay in the building before Thunder started with this mess being sorted out. Dave Penzer was trying to kill time telling jokes which only made things worse because the crowd was killing him. The reaction was largely negative, but they weren't throwing things at him and it never threatened to become violent" - Wrestling Observer Newsletter: February 28, 1999.

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Quote #5:

"WCW.com ran a contest involving Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair. I'm actually not sure what the contest was for. Anyway, we got numerous reports from people who said that if you vote for Flair, the total number for Hogan automatically increases by five." - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: Februaru 28, 1999.

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Quote #6

"Dustin Runnels was at Starrcade, being called by management to return. Runnels is reportedly being paid $750,000 per year but the company isn't using him. When he got there, the company told him they had no plans for him, and he went back home." - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: December 25, 2000.

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Quote #7

"Oklahoma then threw BBQ sauce in Madusa's eyes to set up Madusa vs. Oklahama in a feud over the cruiserweight title" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: January 10, 2000.

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Quote #8

"Bagwell and Kanyon, who at this point had turned on eachother twice, where scheduled to face Flair and Crowbar. Bigelow attacked Kanyon, suplexing him on the entrance ramp and threw him off the stage through a table. This bump was far more dangerous than similar WWF bumps where they have all these pads set up covered in a blanket around the table when they go off the ramp, but the stunt was nill as the cameras missed the shot" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: January 10, 2000

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Quote #9

"It wasn't Bret Hart driving the monster truck nor was Sid in the car that was being run over, although both were the original plan. Hart was told what part of the car to drive over and where Sid would be in the car so as to not drive over him. Hart refused saying he wasn't an experienced stunt driver. There was no problem with his decision and he was apologized to for being asked" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: January 10, 2000.

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Quote #10

"If you thought Starrcade was bad in English, it was worse in German. The German crew was in Washington DC live. The regular commentators were joined by comedian Tom Gerhardt, who was popular in Germany ten years ago because he used to go on stage dressed as a giant penis and pretend to ejaculate on the audience. He was doing heel commentary to get himself over, calling Disco Inferno gay, talking about Madusa having nice tits, and stood when Benoit made the open challenge to anyone and challenged him. This was all done to build a match where Gerhardt will wrestle Berlyn in Oberhausan, Germany on the WCW house show. German wrestler Ulf Hermann, upon hearing this news, issued a grandstand challenge." - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: January 10, 2000.

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Quote #11

"Kevin Nash missed the weekend house shows where he was scheduled to headline against Vicious claiming a concussion suffered allegedly when he was hit with the rubber crowbar by Arn Anderson" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: January 17, 2000

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Quote #12

"Throughout the show, they (the NWO) were torturing Bret Hart. Nash was torturing Hart and in the background you could hear the director wrapping up the scene. The final scene saw Hart coming out with a pipe while covered in makeup to make it appear he'd been beaten up on. It was the same makeup they used for Arn Anderson, totally exposing that angle. Hart challenged the NWO guys to come out. Nash & Jarrett came out with bats. Then it got really silly. Hart was in a stand-off with Nash and Jarrett forever because Funk & Anderson arrived so late. Apparently live it was obvious Hart & Nash were having a hard time not laughing because the timing was so screwed up. Funk came out with a flaming branding iron and Anderson with a bucket of water. Anderson threw the bucket of water on Hart, with the idea that the makeup would run. The makeup didn't run, but the announcers had to sell that it did." - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: January 24, 2000.

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Quote #13:

"Kevin Nash then came out with a black girl, I guess to show that he is cool." - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter

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Quote #14

"The Match (Kevin Nash vs. Sid) was in slow motion. Jarrett came in, but Sid got the guitar from him, clocked Nash with it and then laid on his back. The announcers were talking about how Sid was outsmarting everyone by pretending he was the one who got hit with the guitar. There were peices of the broken guitar surrounding Nash's body, including in his hair and a big peice on his chest, while there was no debris anywhere close to Sid" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: January 31, 2000.

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Quote #15

"The only ratings question of the week was whether or not WCW Nitro would beat the Westminster Dog Show on the USA Network on 2/14. The answer was no" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: February 21, 2000.

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Quote #16

"There was zero heat for Vicious vs. Jarrett. Earlier in the show Nash announced it as non-title. Jarrett demanded WCW overrule Nash and make it a title match. WCW announced it was a U.S. Title match. That made perfect sense, since the world champion should be challenging for the US belt. Jarrett hit Sid with a guitar shot which busted his head open hardway. Vicious said he got a concussion from the guitar shot. After the show, Vicious confronted Mark Madden and yelled at him. Madden made a remark about the three-way and said that Vicious may be the "monkey in the middle", which of course is a kids game. Vicious was told by someone that Madden called him a monkey and he was very upset about it. Madden tried to explain what he actually said but Sid, I guess with his head busted upon and groggy from the possible concussion and jetlagged from Germany, wasn't interested in hearing." - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: February 21, 2000.

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Quote #17

"In Philadelphia, apparently the hydraulics didn't work and The Demon was stuck in his coffin for about three minutes before they could get him out" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: February 21, 2000.

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Quote #18

"A Tv Series starring Duggan called 'Biker's Court' was attempting to be sold for syndication at the NATPE convention last week. It was a worked cross between Judge Judy and Jerry Springer, with bikers as the jurors, a silicon implanted baliff and Duggan carrying his 2X4 as the judge. A typical episode is a midget smoker who is suing the tobacco companies claiming smoking stunted his growth and asking for compensation for a multimillion dollar NBA career that he didn't have" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: February 21, 2000.

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Quote #19

"Big T defeated Booker T in a match for (the rights to) the letter 'T'. This was ungodly bad. Actually the former Ahmed Johnson in his now pregnant state actually 'carried' Booker T to maybe the worst match of his career. The lights went out, seemingly forever, teasing that Midnight was coming, with her music. Of course, she's not even in the company anymore." - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: February 28, 2000.

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Quote #20

"The crowd didn't care about this program and the stretcher aspect of the match was preposterous. Daffney did a hurricanrana and her blue wig flew off in the process. At one point they put David (Flair) on a stretcher and he was halfway to the back. He got off the stretcher, totally revived, and didn't sell it like he'd even been beaten. Finally they taped David to the stretcher and had to sell that David couldn't get off with this athletic tape that wasn't even holding. The bell rang for no reason. Crowbar got carried off in a stretcher with that ridiculous tape. The funny thing is that the stretchers had restrainers that could have locked the guys in that would have at least looked better than that silly athletic tape. Then they put Daffney in a wheelchair and taped her up. Her being taped was the silliest of the three in that the tape didn't hold but she still had to sell it." - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: February 28, 2000.

Quote #21

"La Parka was reading the financial pages when Madusa propositioned him." - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: February 28, 2000

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Quote #22

"World Championship Wrestling had what was on paper its most successful weekend in at least a year, drawing three consecutive sellouts, largely with very enthusiastic fans in the United Kingdom. The reaction to the shows by the time they were over was typical of the WCW Shoot Yourself in the Foot Tour 2000. The main events all three nights were a disappointment. On the first night, they used Ric Flair vs. Curt Hennig on top. They had a good technical match that the crowd wasn't into, with lots of 'Goldberg' chants. After the match, Luger and Elizabeth did a run-in, leaving Bagwell to make the save and the show actually ended with Bagwell in the ring with his music playing, saying 'You didn't get Goldberg and you didn't get Sting, but you got Buff and he's the stuff.' Needless to say, the interview wasn't exactly well recieved by the audience. (The third show had) a hugley disappointing main event, headlined by local boxer "The Viking" Foster working as the outside the ring second ref for the Mamalukes tag title defense against the Harris Twins. The match had no heat and lots of missed spots with fans filing out as it was going on. Ron Harris actually grabbed the house mic and ripped on the fans for not caring about the match. Reports were the match was terrible. Foster, we're told, wasn't a big enough name to actually help sell tickets and most of the fans in attendance didn't even know who he was. The first night in Burmingham, Nash came out in a wheelchair...Nash was said to be embarassing, badly slurring his words. Vicious wasn't there, according to WCW sources it is because he's not allowed in the country. In London, Duggan got the crowd chanting 'USA'. in his match against UK wrestler David Finley" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: March 20, 2000.

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Quote #23

"The Dog got loose from Knobbs and apparently he was drinking out of the toilet. I just saw him on his knees in the bathroom with Knobbs telling him to stop. It took several minutes before it was explained what he was actually doing. Dog wrestled Smiley. Smiley spanked the Dog before the match. After the match, Dog went after Scott Dikinson, with Mark Madden mentioning that Scott Dinkinson's full time job is a mailman (which is true). Dog tried to tree Smiley backstage after the match" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: March 20, 2000.

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Quote #24

"Funk attacked Rhodes after the match, knocking him out with a loaded chicken" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: March 20, 2000.

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Quote #25

"When Mark Madden told Arn Anderon how well recieved his segment was, Anderson replied by saying 'That must mean I'm going to get fired'." - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: March 20, 2000

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Quote #26

"Luger and Elizabeth were apparently in a car accident before the show. Their rental car was said to have been hit by a bus. They did arrive and Luger was able to wrestle" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: March 20, 2000

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Quote #27

"Douglas pinned him (Funk) and grabbed the belt. Mike Awesome beat Wall in a tables match. Awesome and Douglas started beating on Wall but DDP came out of the back of the ambulance and threw Awesome in the back and the ambulance took off. Then they went to a cutaway with Russo holding a casket with a bunch of New Blood members as pall bearers, including Douglas without a hair out of place and Awesome, in his regular clothes." - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: March 29, 2000

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Quote #28

"Madden was at this point told to get over about how WCW doesn't do schmazz finishes and cheap DQ's. Except for Wall vs. Awesome up to that point, there had been nothing but schmazz finishes" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: March 29, 2000

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Quote #29

"Jarrett introduced Russo as the guy who turned the WWF around and called him Vince McMahon's best kept secret. Russo came out to the Road Warriors music. He talked about getting screwed by the good ol' boys while a great percentage of both the live and TV audience had no clue what he was talking about. Bischoff came out to tease a confrontation, but they hugged. They announced that all of the titles were vacated. When Sid was teasing he was going to hit Bischoff, Bischoff made a comment about Sid not having scissors. Bischoff was so clearly stunned that the crowd didn't react to the scissors line that he must have thought that they didn't hear it the first time, so he said it again, also to no reaction." - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: April 17, 2000.

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Quote #30

"On Nitro during the opening meeting (with Russo), everyone was supposed to act scared and somber, but you could see everyone biting their tongue because Brian Knobs' hair was set on fire by the pyro coming out" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: April 17, 2000

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Quote #31

"You know things are bad when Schiavone starts swearing on the air" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: April 24, 2000

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Quote #32

"They (DDP and Mike Awesome) were having a good match when Mark Madden said in the new WCW they were going to have winners and losers and the refs aren't going to be calling DQ's. Literally seconds later, Billy Silverman called the DQ." - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: April 17, 2000

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Quote #33

"Crowbar & Leroux & Moore beat Candido & Guerrera & Artist in 6:30. The Guerrera team kept having the match won, but a partner would break up the pin and cost his own team the match. This actually happened time after time. The announcers clearly weren't clued in, because nobody said a word nor were telling the story of the match. Sometimes when a partner made the save it was presented as if it was a member of the opposing team. Finally they came up with the explanation that the wrestlers are trying so hard to impress Russo and Bischoff that they are trying to make sure their team doesn't win. Crowbar pinned Candido after a gordbuster that was set up by Artist costing his team the match" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: April 24, 2000

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Quote #34

"Meng speared a life sized poster of Goldberg. Meng used the poster to block Knobbs spraying him with a fire extinguisher. Meng then threw Knobbs off a 30-foot balcony" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: April 24, 2000

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Quote #35

"Sting and Vampiro fought in a graveyard. Vampiro broke a tombstone over Sting's head and he fell into a grave. Offically, because Sting may have died, this match was ruled a no contest" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: May 08, 2000.

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Quote #36

"The big finish was totally screwed up. The idea was that Jarrett and Page were to climb the scaffolding. Arquette would climb the scaffolding, hit Jarrett with the guitar, who would take the bump through the gimmicked part of the stage that they would fall through. When leaving the ring, by accident, Asya stepped on the set and fell through, so everyone could see that it was gimmicked. Arquette than ran out and apparently wasn't given directions as to what to avoid, and fell into the gimmicked part of the stage. So Jarrett and Page improvised up there with Page deciding to save the show and take the bump into what was already evident as the gimmicked hole in the stage. No idea at press time how this will be edited" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: May 08, 2000.

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Quote #37

"When they made the stip where Flair got five minutes with Russo, Russo didn't sell it, and then said 'this is where I'm supposed to play chicken shit heel' to zero pop" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: May 08, 2000

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Quote #38

"Terry Funk won a handicap match for the hardcore title over Norman Smiley and Ralphus. Most of the match was backstage with Ralphus, dressed in a catchers outfit with a catchers mask, just standing there. The height of the silliness was them (Funk and Smiley) throwing cardboard boxes at each other and selling it. Finally, Funk brought Ralphus in front of the curtain and into the ring, and unmasked him and pulled his pants down. Ralphus basically stood there with his fanny showing...Ralphus by this time looked like he was going to have a heart attack" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: May 15, 2000

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Quote #39

"Hogan did the first huricanrana of his career" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: May 15, 2000

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Quote #40

"Russo and David were at Flair's home in Charlotte. (Russo) said that Reid was the favorite one and that David had to sleep in the garage and swim in a shark infested creek. Russo was jumping up and down on Flair's bed. " - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: May 22, 2000

source: smarks choice