Raven's First Column

Captain Planet · 02-08-2008, 03:44 PM

Quote:

THE PROBLEM WITH THE WRESTLING BUSINESS: PART ONE
By: Raven

Part of the problem with the wrestling business today is that there are too many arm chair bookers buffoons like Glenn Gilbernetti, for example. He insists that title belts are meaningless (much like his life) which is unquestionably the single most moronic thing I have heard since he tried to tell me that Kanyon was straight. The reason he claims (albeit foolishly) that title belts are meaningless is because he believes that no one could possibly care about a fake belt. That reasoning has more holes in it than his unstylishly ripped jeans. Using his asinine logic, no one should care about the monster in Cloverfield because itâ€™s really just some guy in a rubber suit.

No matter what fictional entertainment field youâ€™re engrossed in, be it movies, TV, wrestling, or the opera, you, as an audience member agree to suspend disbelief (not unlike Glenn got suspended in school for being a sissymary). Whether itâ€™s the world of magic for Harry Potter, or the world of the TV show X files, or any other show, book, or what have you, each has its own unique world with its own unique rules. Things that did happen in Harry Potter, like flying on a broom, would look totally foolish and ruin any credibility on a show like Journeyman, yet looks perfectly believable in its own setting. Peter Parker being bitten by a radioactive spider and climbing the walls of Hogwarts would make Harry Potter readers cry foul.

Wrestling has its own unique rules and vernacular and having a midget blow up a boat to kill Sting (which WCW in its infinite stupidity once did) is completely farfetched because of its placement in the supposed real world. Someone should have been arrested for attempted murder. Unfortunately wrestling is sometimes booked in a vacuum where situations like that and Paul White the Giant falling off of Cobo Arena only to miraculously be unscathed are thought to be clever when in actuality all they do in a best case scenario is insult loyal viewers and in a worst case scenario turn people off the product for good. Wrestling is at its best when itâ€™s based in the real world and events are treated as they would be in the real world. What amuses me most about Glenn Gilbernetti besides his four year old like exuberance for stupidity, and his cloying yet obnoxious desire to be loved is that by all rights, what I am writing is something that he should be in agreeance with.

He forced me to listen to a recent article he wrote while gleefully twisting his handlebar moustache like some 1940â€™s villain as his dog Muttley snickered nearby after tying me to the tracks as an oncoming train approached. He stated that these IWFs (Internet Wrestling Fans) are hurting the business and goes on to elaborate, that it is because they champion these non working cruiserweights who donâ€™t sell and kill credibility. He claims they sell for eight seconds and stop, but I would venture to say that he is being exceedingly generous and three or four seconds is more likely. He also misses the boat by not mentioning that this supposed â€œsellingâ€ that they are doing is not actually selling. When they do stop running around, they go from registering to dying.

There is a whole entire range of emotion and body language on the selling scale that could be encapsulated letâ€™s say for babyfaces as simply as 1)no selling, 2) registering, 3) selling a little, 4) selling some more, 5) selling a lot, 6) selling to the point of hopelessness for the fan that you will ever recover, 7)no hope of recovery,8)signs of life, 9)more signs of life, 10) the possibility that with enough fan encouragement, you can possibly turn this thing around, 11)fire, 12) more fire, 13)fighting back, 14) comeback, 15)the post comeback, pre-finish full body fire to signify to the people that you are back in control and the heel is gonna pay. Also, let us not forget, that oneâ€™s body should still show how wracked with pain it is from step 8-step 15 and on through the rest of the match. Understand this, just b/c you are fired up and back in control, does not mean you should be hurting any less. It only means that you have found a way to fight through the pain with the help of the fans support. That is why people love wrestling, b/c they feel like they are a part of the show.

Interesting read. This Glenn Gilbernetti sounds like a real douche

Zar · 02-08-2008, 03:48 PM

Is that the whole post?
I look forward to more of these.

God · 02-08-2008, 04:12 PM

I read the Glen Gilbetti one about IWC when it was first published, man he does some crying. Maybe if Gilbertti had done something big in his career he could be forgiven, but i cant think of anything he has done so he comes off even more bitter then a certin Canadian.

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Raven's First Column

Professional wrestling news and hot wrestling rumors can be found here. WWE, TNA, and ECW wrestling. Please note that many threads may contain spoilers and may not always be labeled as such