The things I liked.....
Wrestling sucked like a cheap whore this week, as the ratings showed us. Good lord it was near enough ALL utter shit. I am struggling to think of one thing (in six hours of programming!) that was actually any good.
I would nominat my usual MVP/V1 "greatness" but even that fell in the "meh" bracket this week (especially as all it lead to was an appaling little TV match). So no, screw it, nothing was good this week, I "liked" none of it.
The things I didn't ...
This part could go on all day so I'll just keep it to the majorly sucky bits.
This week we were "treated" to the in-ring returns of Hardcore Holly, Mr McMahon and Ron Simmons on Raw. When you get three returns, and the "best" one was Bob Holly, then you know your show is a big pile of yellowing pants. Holly, who returned not to ECW...where he had been....not to Smackdown, where he was drafted to....but instead to Raw. Normally this low attention to detail would annoy me greatly. Strangely, it didn't this time because I don't frikkin' care any more! The match was ordinary and, if they go with the "getting better each week till he beats the gnarly veteran" storyline, I'll be fine with it. Holly clearly wasn't ready to return, heavily bandaged and working not at all off his injured arm....he probably earnt extra McMahon brownie points for this effort. McMahon himself returned in a match as a super slow version of his old self, I mean seriously Vince, give up the in-ring stuff. Your stiff as a board, have broken your cockcyx and your thigh muscles in recent years and can barely move without a struggle now (just watch him taking 10 seconds to try and kneel down to talk to Hornswoggle). Let it go Vince. As for having a gimmick steel cage match.....and using that as the prelude to a straight singles match next week? What the fuck is going on with that. Arse over backwards booking. And Vince versus Hunter? Saw it last year, it was five years too late then, seeing it again in 2007.....no thanks. Lastly, Ron's return? So the point of this whole angle between him, Santino & Maria was to aim to a non-advertised TV only bout with a cheap DQ finish? Damn indeed Ron, damn indeed.
Christ the Coach and Cena stuff was mind numbing. Not illogical (at least) but just awful. Our main event was "talking". And, was it me, or was the whole Mr McMahon twist at the end just so obvious? I actually had it in mind earlier in the night when Vince said Hunter was facing Carlito and Mr McMahon....the gag (being that Hornswoggle is Mr McMahon too) just came later than I thought it would.
Hornswoggle & Melina. Cade/Murdoch and Highlanders. Can WWE "creative" please please stop thinking that the only humour that is good humour is stuff that frankly wouldn't have made it to the script of "Porkys 4". Fuck. Grow up you fucking losers. No one minds this stuff more than me (every now and then it is greatness) but we get it all the fucking time. Endless, endless, jokes about peoples boobs, asses, being gay, having a small dick......this show is written for 12 year olds. WWE does not want anyone over 18 to watch this.
On ECW why, since Big Daddy V squashed to hell CM Punk a month or two back and has beaten everyone else he's faced since being there, is he NOT in the elimination title chasing thing? This makes no sense. Even Stevie Richards got in this elimination thing!
I am glad that Balls got his comeuppance. This story has been played out every week and could have done with a more subtle approach. Bottom line is, Kelly, you're lucky Miz is saving you from a guy that takes complete silence to a question he asks as you saying "yes". Balls is clearly a potential rapist!
Also, thinking back to last week, why when Elijah and Punk met backstage and Punk said "I'm busy" and walked away....did we not then see him again in the rest of the show?
A small "hate"....why is Mike Knox coming out doing this thing with one arm out and one arm up? What kind of a "salute" is that? Stop it and stop it now yer big gay bear.
MVP met Kane. In a very long TV match. Interupted by ad breaks. Then more length. Then a cheap finish. Well that's about 20 minutes of my life that's not coming back.
Batista told us that he had only seen a small bit of video and pics of Punjabi Prison matches. So we can take it from this that he doesn't watch or remember WWE PPV's either!
Vickie Guerrero told Vince all about Teddy's heart attack in the opening segment of Smackdown. All of this was totally new information to Vince. Who is the CEO of this company. WTF?
Torrie Wilson was attacked by a mystery blonde (the debuting Krissie Vaine) who looked like Santa's helper in that outfit. Nobody cared. Although tears could be heard from a known internet forum owner in Boston.
Impact was just bland, nothing offended, it was actually a better paced show than normal. Don West should be docked his pay this week though for several laughably bad lines, the best one of which was him telling us that Mesias is "bringing out the best in Rhino". What? How? This was said as Rhino ran into the ring this week. The only other time they've been together was Rhino running in with a chair last week and nothing happening. So running in with a chair and standing there was "bringing out the best in Rhino". I love Don. Please fire him.
Linear Mode
