Tyler Durden

WC Hall Of Famer

Things I Liked

Raw......I have absolutely nothing that I liked on this show, which was an affront to everything I hold dear, except for 1 thing. John Cena. John Cena Senior that is. Who quite possibly has more of a clue than anybody else on this horroble show this week. He bumped well, he reminded his son that it was all about the belt.......Cena Senior played his role well and nobody else on this show did.

I will give credit this week to those that booked and wrote the promos for BigDaddy V and Boogeyman. They were great. The build for this 10 week in the waiting match was awesome. Oh sure we all knew the match was going to be awful, but you know what, it was one of thos matches that was soooooooooooo bad. It wasn't meh....it wasn't just bad........it was soooooooooo bad that it actually became great. I make no sense I know. But if you're going to have a bad match, then please god let it be one so bad, so horrendous on every level that it actually becomes high comedy. I loved this in such a warped way!

The ECW four way. I know it was badly booked...I mean how many times have we seen a few guys come to the ring after a PPV and start ragging on each other just for the GM to come out and make an Elimination match of some sort of it. The twist here is that all we were doing was eliminating the biggest loser today!! The match was indyriffic and it went real long, but I liked it. I don't know what this says about me. Maybe I miss watching indy stuff!

My weekly dose of V1 and MVP was, as always, very fine. These two have my permission to feud forever. Though I would like to see a different team face them one day.....are the 50's throwback revivalists the only other team on this show?

The lesson that Smackdown taught me this week is, if I ever get married again, I'm inviting more of my black brothers. Specifically, Butch Reed and Ron Simmons. Ron for an immaculate timed and for once valid "damn" and Butch for almost flat out asking Teddy if Kristal was a good fuck.

Judas Mesias debut match. Oh sure he looks pretty sucky as a wrestler, but this was an "how to book a monster rule 101" done very well. He faced a popular lowly performer, killed him, killed another even lowlier performer too, got blood on his hands and then bailed when a more serious threat with a chair came to the ring. A fine debut showing.

Can you believe that is it for this week on the things I liked....this was possibly the worst week I've ever watched considering how many hours TV I saw (thank god for sky plus forward buttons)

Things I didn't

Sweet jesus this is going to long this week on this side of the fence. I'll try and keep it just to the main shittiness since if I cover everything I'll be here all day.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley. I wondered how long it would be till I grew so frikkin' bored of you. I figured maybe Survivor Series. But no...you outdid yourself. You managed to make me hate you in less than a month. You fucker! Since he's returned he's decided that he is going to be the great comedian (witness many gay, small dick jokes that are an insult even to Deuce Bigalow) AND he's also going to be SCSA this time too and beat on faces that help him. Now bear in mind this is a very thin roster at present, beset with problems. Logically this would be a good time to build those members of the roster who have actually passed drug tests. But no......this week Hunter killed five members of the roster to death. Humbled them all to such a level that none of them will clearly mean anything to anyone in a long while now. Included in that were the CURRENT TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS....who he defeated by himself. CLEAN. The number one contenders to that crown.....who were fucking helping him.....and a former IC Champion....who must be so glad he's getting the "rub" from this feud with a main eventer. This sucks cock. All of it. On top of this......the rest of the roster was killed even more by Randy and Cena (since creative decided that Hunter, Randy and Cena had to choose this week to kill everyone and show that these are the only stars on the show). Randy humbled Cody Rhodes yet again in about 7 and a half seconds (I'm aware he is not on the same level, and is a geek, and not ready to beat Orton yet....he should not therefore be in these segments AT ALL)....and Santino who was just laughed off as an inconsequence when in the co-main event. So in case you missed it, Hunter, Cena & Orton....GREAT....everybody else........S.

And for anyone that has a problem with that, well firstly, fuck off, and secondly think back to the McMahon-Helmsley era. Everyone was benched and a star needed creating, so the company had a little names in a hat type thing and Rikishi's name was pulled. He went out, had a great match with the WC and was made a star. Think then of the reaction he was getting a month later at the Royal Rumble and beyond. When the roster is depleted....make a star Vince....don't just kill everyone else. Great reward for those guys that stayed on the roster and off the juice? In future, just take the HGH and Testosterone guys, because then Vince may push you....because if you don't and you don't look like a freak (hello Carlito, Murdoch, London, Kendrick, Marella, Rhodes) you will be killed anyway. Great message from the WWE.

Hornswoggle. Bored to death with this already. The money here, well the decent TV anyway, was in home segments showing this Irish midget at the McMahon home, bonding with Shane & Steph. Not in carny Irish gags at the arena which were not funny at all. They were so lame. Not even Vince with a unicorn could help! This whole twist phails.......and it could have been good had they not done it to death with bad comedy already. I mean a fucking adoption sketch featuring two of the writers on Raw. Go away. Go away now.

John Cena. I'm not a Cenahater normally, but get a clue you fuckwit. Like your father. A few weeks back you were crying and shaking with emotion about your father taking one kick. This week your father was all but sodomised in the ring and what did you do yer geek. You stood there. Emotionless. Watching. What the hell was that all about?

Daivari versus Jim Duggan. In a flag on a pole match. With no build. Out of nowhere. A gimmick match between two non feuding guys. Raw has become WCW Nitro from 2000 now and Russo is writing Raw and Impact.

Why did Mark Henry not care if his match with Big Dave was title or not. Go see John Cena Snr whichever fucker wrote this and let him tell you what's most important.

Rey Mysterio. This whole thing was more weird than bad. I barely ever remember that JBL lost a loser leaves SD match to him, then suddenly it comes up (during the worst most vanilla interview ever) and is a big issue. Then Finlay comes out and just hits him. So that's our feud for Rey. Weird.

The Yings, or, The Yangs. Whatever the hell they were/are. Good god who the hell are these two no-talents. A six year old with a fascination with fart jokes wouldn't find these two entertaining. One guy talks with no charisma at all and the other one makes a noise like a duck laughing............repeatedly.......that's what he does? And that's it? Really? What was the point of these two? Never. Ever. Never let them back on any show I watch.

The whole wedding. Hate it, hate it. The only good thing in it was watching Vince run (seriously funny) and watching a bunch of hate filled wrestlers swaying their arms to the music. Everything else, shockingly bad, as I suspect you all thought it would be. The heart attack itself was quite possibly the worst piece of actor since the last time I saw Candice Michelle over doing it. The guy had a heart attack in about 10 seconds. No build to it. He just grabbed his chest and fell over out of the blue!

Everything on TNA was pretty much meh, lot's of "to the back" from Mike Tenay at the end of each segment, but the only piece of it that offended greatly was the whole Sting/Karen fuckarama. Has Sting not been in this business long enough now not to look at something they ask him to do and say "fuck off.....that makes no sense". To recap, Sting (the face) following last weeks beating, decided to do that brilliant face move of "going crying to the police to ask for protection....from a woman". BRILLIANT. He then turns up where she works and RUNS TOWARD HER.....thus enforcing the 50 yards or whatever it is that she isn't allowed to go near him. How does this do anything at all for Sting, unless the intention is to turn him into the single biggest pussy in a main event ever. And he's the face? And despite the fact that he is running TOWARDS HER.....the police arrest her? Fucking hell this was stupid. Get a clue! I do however think that TNA wrestlers should now contribute 10% of all their future income towards the Orlando police force who apparently can only afford now to dress in black tee shirts, with the word "Police" written on then, and black trousers!! And following all this Sting is then beaten backstage and stangled to a state of lifelessness by.....no not Kurt Angle his opponent at the next PPV. That's right.......... by Judas Mesias. You remember, the guy that's feuding with Abyss. The guy that bloodied Eric Young.......and got punked out by Rhino right? This show was actually a thumbs in the middle, which is not bad at all for TNA, but they still can't resist doing at least one or two bits of stupid crap every show.

Satan

Super Moderator

I was confused about Mesias/Sting aswell but the way i see it is Nash said on iMPACT! that Angle kicked the sleeping dog. But Sting was still himself. Mesias seen him as an easy target (also the fact that Sting was the one who turned Abyss away from Mitchell). I'd expect Sting to stop the kind helpful act and look out for himself from now on. Angle cracked him, Mesias broke him.

....I think.

Blitzkrieg

WC Hall Of Famer

I watched every show this week including impact! and I thought they all sucked something horrific. RAW is getting harder to watch by the week. I'm sick of the little bastard, I'm sick of that whole angle.. WWE should have scrapped it when they had to suspend Kennedy. God, I miss all the juicers already.

Cena, didn't entertain me. Orton, didn't entertain me. Shockingly, Hunter didn't entertain me. It all sucked.

SD! was even worse. Horseshit wedding and bad.. just awful wrestling out of Batista and Mark Henry plus when Khali showed up..

TNA was just fucking weird. I didn't get what was going on with Judas at all other then TNA trying to push him to the moon at the expense of main eventers heading into big title matches..

Fuck. The monkeys from Family Guy could have written better shows this week.

Danny Diamond

Founder/Admin

I also thought the writing made no sense from so many angles.

This is why stables need to be formed and one brand. This way you can incorporate multiple fueds at once and there doesnt have to be much of a reason (like Kane getting coffee spilt on him......that's twice now. Once with Finlay and once with Jericho) for these guys to all fued. Make it almost a gang mentality.

Back in the day, basically all heels hung out and traveled together and same went for the faces. It was much easier to define people's roles.

Honestly about TNA........I watch it when I get a chance. Well actually I always have a chance, its when I am in a wrestling mood and have finished Raw and SD for the week......But seriously. TNA seems like it is booked about 20 minutes before the show is on. Not to mention they tape it weeks in advance and have plenty of time to edit shit in and out to make it flow better. It just seems so freaking disorganized for some reason.

Raw was one of the worst Raw's I can remember. Honestly... They really need to do something different with the main event scene. Cena is boring everyone to tears with his 2+ year reign. Alright already, we get it. He is tough to beat.

Smackdown was actually pretty entertaining I thought until the last minute when I saw like Tyler said, the worst acting in the history of television. How hard would it have been for Teddy to wipe even fake sweat off his forehead, maybe get woozy a couple times leading up to the actuall vows. Or maybe even complaining over the last couple of weeks about how maybe he doesnt feel well.

That Teddy collapse was one of those moments where you thank yourself for not watching wrestling in front of your nonwrestling fan friends. You would have been laughed at for the next few months for that disaster.

Repped once again Mr. Bullden