Dark match
1-Paul Birchall b Orlando Jordan. Pretty good athleticism on display. Birchall is such a Pirates of the Caribbean ripoff. Jordan got heat saying he’d won more titles than Arthur Ashe (pro tennis player/native Richmonder). Birchall won with a standing shooting star press which Jordan kicked out of (why?) followed by a one man standing Spanish fly.
Velocity
Gymini & Simon Dean b Funaki/London/Spanky. Spanky went for Sliced Bread #2 on one of the twins but the other snuck in behind him & caught him in an over the shoulder backbreaker for the pin.
Mascarita Sagrada b Tsuki in the worst match of the night. Nothing but 1970s American midget comedy. DUD
Syvain Grenier b Sean Patrick (generic looking jobber with Pinnacle on the back of his shorts) with the F5. Way to rub it in to the IWGP Champ.
Super Crazy b Big Vito with a missle dropkick followed by a standing moonsault.
Smackdown
--Interview w/Randy Orton recaps his family tree, calling both Bob Sr. & Bob Jr. the greatest wrestlers of their generation. That was funny. When he was running down names of current guys he would be better than upon winning the World title, he eventually came to Eddie Guerrero’s name. Chavo ran in out of the crowd in street clothes and gave him the 3 amigos & a frog splash before being hauled out be security (including VA indy workers Phil Brown & J-Sinn).
--Kane movie promo
MNM retained the tag titles over Matt Hardy/Tatanka. MNM now have red lights that blink on their fur coats. Tatanka played face-in-peril for some reason. Matt was rolled up by Joey after Melina had come in the ring to grab Matt’s leg, distracting him. About 10:00 long. Lame finish.
Backstage skit with Regal reading a fan letter to Birchall & calling him a scalliwag. Birchall smiled & handed Regal a toy bomb, lit the wick & when it got to the end, Birchall got up in his face & said “boom”. I was just glad the skit ended without a shot of Regal in wet pants.
--HOF video on Eddy reaired
Boogeyman won a handicap match over both Dicks in 2:00. Booker & Sharmell did commentary. Chad took the pin after the neck hanging tree slam. Booker left thru the crowd when Boogey tried to confront him. Boogey then grabbed a black bag from somewhere & dumped 100s of worms all over the announce table.
--WrestleMania moment focusing on Jeff Hardy’s swanton off a ladder. That should stir some internet discussion.
--Interview w/Mysterio apologizes to everyone for losing including Vickie, Chavo & Eddie—Teddy Long comes out, shows the finish from Sunday, and makes the WM match a 3-way
--Interview w/Kristal Marshall plugging the Divas magazine. The most wooden delivery ever. Jillian Hall came out, got her top ripped off & left. She reminds me of a younger version of Debra. Kristal then paraded around in a bikini.
--Highlight video aired of UT vs. Angle from No Way Out
Gregory Helms retained the Cruiser title over Psicosis. Nothing special and crowd just groaned and at on their hands. Helms won with a rollup in the corner with feet on the ropes. The creative finishes continue.
--Interview w/Long announces UT vs. Angle rematch on next week’s Smackdown. Very mixed reaction as fans figured out it wasn’t happening tonight.
--Backstage Long ordered Orton to stop whining & wrestle in the 6-man.
Benoit/Lashley/Mysterio b JBL/Orton/Finlay. Finlay no longer has a first name. Very little Benoit/Finlay interaction. Match went 15:00 or so. Scary spot was Rey did a pescado, Finlay moved, and somehow Rey caught his leg between the apron & the ring. Benoit threw some Germans & softened up JBL w/ 2 crossfaces before Mysterio pinned him with the West Coast pop.
Dark match
Angle won a 4-way over Henry, UT & Orton by pinning Henry. Nothing special. Angle took 2-3 bumps, a back bump off a shoulder block, and delivered a German and an Olympic slam.
Overall, very dull & lifeless. Crowd was fairly into it for the most part but we didn’t get anything too exciting.
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