OVW TV Report: Title Tournament Announced

Mr. Kennedy

The night opened on a somber note. Elijah Burke came into the ring
and addressed the crowd. He stated that last week we were blessed to
have Matt Capotelli in the ring and show us all that everyone in the
arena is family. He said that we have to take these moments like
right now to cherish one another. At that time he brought into the
ring the woman and her child. They were both in tears and hugged
Elijah. Elijah stated that they were the mother and brother of an OVW
fan named Billie who passed away Sunday night. A "Thank You Billie"
chant started. They then passed around a bucket to collect money for
the family for the funeral expenses.

After a few solemn moments things got under way with 2 dark matches.

First up was the team of The Russians (Ogre and Boris) w/ their female
valet (whose name I have been unable to confirm thus far) against The
Desperados. The Desperados were two students whom I've never been
able to catch the names of. One of whom looks like the long lost
brother of Christian.

Lots of USA chants directed at The Russians. Boris opened the match
posing to stall a bit. After the posing subsided Boris and the
Desperado not alluded to in my earlier description smacked each other
about. Boris worked him into The Russians' corner and Ogre comes in.
Ogre whips the Desperado into the ropes and the valet grabs the
Desperado's foot. The referee admonishes the valet and Ogre turns
this into a near fall on the confused Desperado. The Russians now
press their advantage on the Desperado until the hot tag is built for
the Christian-esque Desperado. This Desperado briefly cleans house
but The Russians get their wits about themselves together. Ogre lays
out both Desperados, Boris goes up top, salutes and dives off with a
head butt from the top turnbuckle. Ogre then attempts to that
Desperado only to have the Christian-eque Desperado roll him for the
pin.

Our second dark match saw KC Jaymez defeat Danny Inferno with a
superkick. The match actually opened with chants for KC who seems to
really be taking off the fans in the arena at long last. The match
opens with KC applying a standing hammerlock on Inferno, Inferno works
it around into an arm drag, KC breaks it up and they back away. Crowd
now chants for Danny. Inferno goes right back to the arm drag, this
time really putting heavy torque on KC's arm, following it up with
elbows onto the now prone arm. Inferno hip tosses KC and then covers
him for a two count. KC, none too pleased, thumbs Inferno's eyes. KC
then Irish whips Inferno into the turn buckle and Inferno stumbles
back out into a stiff lariat. KC decides to wear Inferno down with a
headlock but the crowd brings Inferno back to life. Inferno fights
out of the headlock, whips KC into the ropes and hits a swinging
neckbreaker. Both men rise up and Inferno hits a big body drop and
then the Garvin Stomp. KC begs off any further offense in the corner
but Inferno pounds KC until the ref steps in to pull Inferno away.
While the ref and Inferno discuss the 5 count rule, KC tunes up the
band. He lunges forward with a super kick but misses. As Inferno
comes up from ducking the first kick he is nailed with a second
attempt. KC then covers Inferno for the victory.

Now that the dark matches are done, they take a shot of the kids in
the Pizza Chain Who Will Remain Nameless Party Zone to warm up the
crowd for going "live". Dean Hill then tells us that a tournament
begins tonight to crown a new OVW Heavyweight Champion. Eight men are
in this tournament our first round matches tonight are as follows:
Elijah Burke vs Brent The Shooter Albright; The Miz vs Rene Dupree;
Johnny Jeter vs Chris Cage; Ken Doane vs CM Punk.

No sooner than Hill has finished running down the card then Albright's
music hits. He comes out still sporting the leather strap from his
attack on CM Punk last week. Elijah then enters the ring and grabs a
mic. He starts to bring up Cappotelli's speech from last week and
Albright just snaps. Albright lays into Burke with the strap and then
begins choking him with it. Officials pour out of the back and break
up the two men. The officials try to make Albright leave but Burke
tells Albright to bring it on. The bell rings and Elijah pounds
Albright into a corner. Albright ducks down and pulls Burke
face-first into the top turnbuckle. As Burke staggers backwards
Albright locks his arms around Burke's waist for a German Suplex.
Burke breaks the waistlock and hits The Experience. Instead of
pinning Albright Elijah heads outside and picks up the leather strap.
As Burke approaches Albright the referee yanks the strap from Burke's
hand. Albright now locks the waist of Burke and nails a stiff German
Suplex. This garners a two count but Burke's neck has been weakened.
Albright whips Burke into the far corner but misses a splash. Burke
turns around and hits a Big Back Body Drop, Burke then arm drags
Albright and connects with a short armed lariat. Burke is holding his
neck and calls for The Experience. Albright is up but gets behind
Burke to nail yet another very stiff suplex. This time Burke cant
come back and Albright collects the victory.

We see Osama on the OVW-tron. He says he was in NYC to meet with
several big rollers to fund his revolution back home over the weekend.
However while he was there he ran into the WWE's surprise
representative for the OVW Tournament. He knows who it is and wants
everyone to see him walking down the hall right now! The cameraman
turns around to a slamming door. Osama laughs, he knows who it is,
but he also knows how to keep a secret.

Maria in next interviewing the Spirit Squad. Maria mentions that is
both Jeter and Doane win tonight they will be opponents in the
semi-finals next week. Doane then states he is the youngest WWE
Superstar ever t 19 years old. He also mentions that he has the most
spirit in the room. Jeter lets Doane know that win or lose in his
own match he is pulling for Doane. However everyone knows that as
Cappotelli's former tag partner he is the rightful successor to the
title. That is why tonight Jeter will win for...THE SPIRIT SQUAD.

Chris Cage makes his way into the ring next. Then "Pump Up The Jams"
hits as Jeter comes out to a face pop. Match starts fast with Cage
running the ropes and Jeter leapfrogging over him and coming back
around with a spinning heel kick that Cage ducks and rolls out of the
ring. Jeter suicide dives onto Cage, pounds him and rolls him back
into the ring for a 2 count. Cage comes back and slaps Jeter into a
corner. Jeter counters with several chops to Cage, then follows up
with a moonsault off the 2nd turnbuckle. That gives Jeter another
near-fall. Cage quickly back up and sets up Jeter for a snap suplex
and his own near-fall. Frustrated at not getting the three count,
Cage drags Jeter to the ropes and chokes him on the second rope. Cage
then moves Jeter to the corner to pound on him before whipping him
across the ring into the ropes and hitting Jeter with a clothesline.
Another near-fall for Cage. Snap mare take over for Cage and he takes
the boots to Jeter's head. He then lugs Jeter over to the turnbuckle
and starts to thrust Jeter headfirst into the turnbuckle, only to have
Jeter reverse it. Jeter mounts an offensive and calls for the
superkick. Jeter misses the superkick, Cage catches Jeter with a DDT
and gets the pinfall.

Osama is back on the OVW-tron talking to the Highlanders in the back.
He asks if they know who the secret WWE rep is and both of The
Highlanders just scratch their heads. Osama then asks them for their
picks to win the tournament. Robby says Cage will win. Rory then
goes into a forlorn sheep about a sheep he left back home five years
ago. Rory is interrupted by Shelly in pirate wench regalia banging on
the door of Paul Birchill. Paul then answers the door and asks to be
left alone as she isnt the type of wench he is looking for. Shelly
cant believe it.

Returning to the arena now, we have The Miz facing off with Rene
Dupree as our Title Tournament continues. They trade blows to open
until an open hand slap sends Dupree outside. Durpee climbs back in
only to be knocked back out by a running shoulder block. Mizarian
pulls Dupree back in and mounts him in the corner only to be shoved
down tot he mat by Dupree. Dupree up to the second rope and hits an
elbow. Miz tries to come back but Dupree stops him short. Dupree
hits another second rope elbow and goes back up for a third. This
time as he comes down Miz is waiting with a boot to the face. Miz
then hits a springing elbow and whips Dupree into the corner. As Miz
charges in Dupree buts up his boot and staggers Miz. Dupree goes up
to the top rope this time only to have Mizarian stumble into the ropes
and knock him off. The Miz then hits a Scorpion Death Drop for the
win.

Maria is in the back with Aaron the Idol and Beth Phoenix. Maria asks
Idol for his pick in the tournament when Shelly barges in. She
couldn't believe that Burchill doesnt want her as his wench after all
she has done for him. Such as listen to all his phone messages, check
all his emails, sit outside his house, walk his dog while he was away
and obsess over his every move 24-7. Idol says that is what he loves
most about Shelly. Shelly instructs Maria to tell Paul she will be
hunting him. Maria tells Shelly she needs help as Shelly slams the
door in her face.

Osama then appears and asks Maria if she knows who the WWE rep is.
Osama says he will tell her for a donation to his revolution, or
perhaps if they just make love instead. Maria rejects his advances.

Our main event for the evening is Ken Doane vs CM Punk. The entire
Spirit Squad comes out and Pumps Up The Jams again for Doane. They
even bring out a trampoline for their routine. Trust me the WWE is
not showing what these guys can do with this gimmick. Punk wastes
little time charging straight at Doane. Punk chops Doane back into
the corner and then follows up with a drop kick to the back of Doane's
head. Big Back Body Drop by Punk. He turns around and finds Doane
back up, Doane goes for a kick but Punk catches his foot and trips up
Doane for a quick cover. He takes Doane's headband and backs him into
the corner to begin choking Doane with the headband. Doane then
throttles Punk across the ring into the far corner. Doane backs away
and as the ref is talking to Doane the Spirit Squad begins attacking
Punk. Doane gets a near fall out of this but Punk comes back with a
Suplex followed up by a high knee in the corner. Punk then hooks up
Doane for the Welcome To Chicago Mother Fucker and Nick Mitchell jumps
on the apron. Punk then gives chase to Nick Nemeth who leads him
outside the ring into a trap of Mondo jumping off the trampoline and
nailing punk with a hard cross body. Doane rolls Punk back into the
ring for a two count fall. Punk tries to come back but is thrown
outside again. As the ref's back is turned the Spirit Squad hits a 4
person H-bomb on Punk. The Squad rolls Punk back into the ring.
Doane goes for a suplex only to have Punk counter with a small
package. Punk gets a 2 count as Mondo throws his shirt into the ring
for Doane to choke Punk with. Doane then ditches the shirt and chokes
Punk with his wrist tape. Doane then applies a headlock and wears
down Punk in the middle of the ring. The ref checks Punk's hand, it
falls twice but not the third time. Punk powers back up and whips
Doane into the ropes. As Doane comes back Punk gives him a boot to
the face and then a springing elbow off the top the top rope. The men
stagger then trade blows, Punk this time nails the Welcome To Chicago
Motherfucker, and gets a near-fall. Punk hits the Manchurian Chops
and then the Anaconda Vice. Doane is about to tap when the Squad
distracts the ref. Albright runs into the ring at this point only to
get a kick to the head by Punk for his efforts. Punk then low blows
Doane and rolls him up for the pin.

Post match Albright and the Spirit Squad lay into punk. The officials
cant stop it so the locker room empties to pull the two men apart.
That's when the WWE rep arrived. It was Mr Kennedy. He asks where
the professionalism is in all of this after what Cappotelli showed us
last week. He says that Matt wouldn't have let this end in a pull
apart, no he would've said, "LET THEM FIGHT!" So our broadcast ends
with the entire OVW roster duking it out with Kennedy laughing
maniacally at ringside.

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