So last night I decided to watch my first full TNA PPV in a long time. Why? No idea really, I was up, had nothing to get up early for today and was bored. I hadn't watched a full TNA PPV since last year's one with the KOTM match. Anyway, as much as WWE can suck and as much as ROH has fallen, this reminded me that TNA is still far and way the worst promotion going today.
First the PPV started with the Knockouts tag. Not an awful choice of opener, but not really a good one. You should start with something the fans care about, not a piss break match. I have never seen the Gov gimmick before, but it really is fucking ridiculous. Match was meh.
Magnus/Young was basically a squash. A squash on PPV. Never seen Magnus before but he looked VERY green. What a waste of Eric Young.
Then we had the MATCH OF ONE THOUSAND TACKS. Dear God, there is absolutely no way possible to make that match stipulation into a good match at all. I don't like Morgan, but I will admit he has a great look and alot of charisma. The match, as expected, was appaling. Probably the worst PPV match this year so far. Morgan trying to push Abyss's face into the tacks just looked dumb. The finish came out of nowhere and this was just a boring crapfest. This was one step up from a CZW/IWA KOTDM shitfest, minus the gorefest appeal.
Then we got the ODB segment. Dear lord. This may have been the most unintentionally hilarious peice of wrestling, nay, peice of television I've seen in maybe forever. I will admit the dance of was hilarious just because of JB yelling the moves at them as they danced and Sharkboy is SOLID GOLD ("Gimme a shell yeah, bi-atch!"). Sharkboy is just another misused talent. Anyway, this took up about TWENTY MINUTES of PPV time. All the previous matches had about 5-10. Shocking. I don't even know what the point of this was.
Then we had Kong vs some chick I've never seen before. Kong looked good still and has a far better understanding of big/little psycology than people like Beth Pheonix or even Abyss, but her opponent was botching every other move and looked awful. It is true the KO division died once Kim left because you need two wrestlers to have good match. This went about 4 minutes. Why even have a title match if it's going to be this short?
Next was Steiner vs Joe. Oh boy. Out of all the shit that TNA has produced, this is by far and way their biggest crime. Looking back to 2005, Joe was perhaps the coolest fucking wrestler on the planet and was just amazing to watch. He not only was producing great matches left, right and center, but also felt like the most legit badass since Steve Austin. Where did that Joe go? His new look is atrocious. Shaved head, generic indy pants and a penis tattooed on his face? He looks like some low-level CZW garbage wrestler. Joe beating up Steiner was sort of fun, but Joe's retarded change along with the ridiculousness of this made it in no way enjoyable. I seriously hope TNA go out of business for this. T.T
Booker vs Styles. I will throw in a compliment here, I do like TNA's entrances. Not a big one, but whatever. This match was alright I suppose. AJ looked real good and this was a total carry job. Booker wasn't horrendous, but he wasn't particularly good. AJ looked like a star with his great intensity and well timed execution and comebacks, etc. The fact this man hasn't been on the last two PPVs and is now in a mid-card match, is a crime. Eight minutes for the TITLE match whilest the ODB segment went about 15-20.
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Then we go to the back for what could the be single most ludacrous angle of the decade. Joe walking around with a bloody machete, covered in dirt, hinting that he just tortured Steiner and will torture the rest of the MEM. This is on par with WCW at it's very worst. First, the fact that TNA would not only not have Joe arrested, but still employ him after this is ridiculous. Secondly, it doesn't make Joe look tough at all, it makes him look like a fucking pussy that he has to use a weapon. Awful.
Team 3D vs Beer Money. This was sort of fun I'll say. Basically just a light comedy match which was fine as that is what 3D and BMI do best. Only thing is, this was a title match, and there were guys' careers on the line. Horray, lets joke about! Didn't mind the DQ finish, didn't mind Cornette restarting the match, but to restart it as a no DQ match, then have it end by countout is mind-boggling. Surely there are no countouts in a no DQ match? What was the point of even restarting it? They should have just left it as a DQ finish.
Next we had the Ultimate X match, well, I say "next" but we had to wait through 10-15 minutes of hype videos and pre-match promos to get to it. SO MUCH WASTED TIME. I used to complain about WWE wasting time shilling their shitty movies, but holy fuck, the pre-match stuff went longer than most matches tonight and almost as long as the match itself. Creed sucks. Lethal's gimmick is as horrible as ever. I literally, physically laugh out loud everytime I see Suicide's entrance. Perhaps the most hilarious thing in wrestling today. The match was, as expected, a mindless spotfest. Ultimate X is about as worthless as steel cage matches in the WWE thee days it's so whored out and boring. None of the spots were built up to well, no were they creative or impressive in any way. How many times have we seen the Tower Of Doom spot in an X-Division match over the years? Suicide is obviously Daniels btw.
Once again for the main event, we had about 10-15 minutes of pre-match promos and other crap. I'm going to go ahead and guess there was less than one and half hours of wrestling on this three hour PPV. The match was pretty worthless. I liked some of his matches last year, but I'd say Angle is only a couple of steps up from Scott Steiner as far as wrestling ability. Definately a one (or two) trick pony as EVERY match is just a bunch of suplexes followed by cramming as many Ankle Lock attempts as he can into the last minutes of the match. Sting is also pretty useless in the ring, but that's nothing new. Match ends with all sorts of confusion that made little sense to me and was just a bunch of overbooked crap that neither made sense nor made me want to find out what happens next. Oh, and this PPV main event title match lasted 13 minutes. Did people actually pay their hard earned money for
this? TNA is perhaps the worst wrestling company I've ever seen in my life.
I find myself asking the question once again, why does anyone bother with TNA anymore?
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