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Thread: Smackdown Results And Discussion

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    Smackdown Results And Discussion

    Here are this weeks results

    This week on "SmackDown," NEW WWE Champion and Charismatic Enigma Jeff
    Hardy is forced to contend with the push-kicks of Vladimir Kozlov
    thanks to the manipulative prowess of General Manager Vickie Guerrero
    and newly irate former champion Edge, while the Rated R Superstar
    himself seeks retribution when he battles the ECW Champion and older
    brother of the Rainbow-Haired Warrior Matt Hardy. Elsewhere, John
    Morrison surfs on the comatose body of Festus, Vickie demands hot
    coffee, and HBK's hairline continues to be a source of amusement.

    We kick things off with WWE Champion Jeff Hardy backstage, once again
    donning the ill-advised face-paint, who stares boldly into the camera
    and sneers, "Here I come!" Sure enough, here he comes out to the ring.
    He gets the pyro and confetti treatment, as well as a thunderous
    ovation. Hardy says that the fans have been screaming for a decade,
    apologizes for taking so long and then promises that the WWE is about
    to change. Things get worse when he says that as champion he
    represents all of the rejects and screw-ups in society. Since fans
    aren't going to readily admit to being rejects or screw-ups, this
    doesn't quite get a strong reaction. He then directs everyone
    watching, even at home, to stand up and scream. Before we can descend
    even further into absurdity, here comes Edge! He cuts a great promo on
    Hardy, saying that he got lucky and that it's all about sacrifice and
    not fate. He then hilariously puts over his title wins as being the
    result of hard work, to which Hardy screams, "Liar!" and then the fans
    start chanting it along with him. Good stuff. Edge informs Hardy that
    tonight he'll be wrestling Kozlov, while Edge himself will be taking
    on Matt Hardy. He gets off one last insult, deeming Hardy the
    perpetual screw-up, which results in him receiving a Twist of Fate. I
    wish Edge interrupted every babyface's promos.

    U.S. Heavyweight Champion Shelton Benjamin and MVP vs. R. Truth and
    Hurricane Helms
    Next week on "SmackDown" it'll be Shelton vs. Helms for the U.S.
    Title. MVP and Shelton begin the match arguing over who should start,
    with Shelton wisely realizing that MVP fails at life and thus not
    wanting him to begin the match. Truth takes advantage of this and
    sneakily takes over on MVP, taking him down with an arm-drag. Helms
    enters, but MVP rakes the eyes like any good heel should. He then
    whips out the fake Irish Whip into a drop toehold spot. Shelton
    audaciously blind tags his way in and deservedly takes an arm-drag
    from Helms. Truth enters and suplexes Shelton for a one-count.
    However, Shelton fires back with a Samoan drop and hooks in a
    chinlock. MVP wants in, but Shelton wants to win, so he doesn't tag
    out. Truth escapes the hold and avoids a Stinger Splash from Shelton.
    Shelton tries to block the hot tag, but Truth DDTs him on the hold-up.
    Helms comes in with fists of fury on Shelton, stopping to knock MVP
    off the apron just for being MVP. He connects with a back-elbow in the
    corner and a hooking clothesline. Hurricane flies off the top with a
    crossbody block, but MVP is in to break up the count. MVP and Truth
    wind up on the floor, and when MVP re-enters he accidentally kicks
    Shelton in the back of the head, which is followed by Truth awesomely
    flying into the screen with the corkscrew flying forearm to take MVP
    out of the picture. Helms then pins Shelton following the Unprettier
    variation that desperately needs a name. Good call not using the
    Shining Wizard this week after the last two were botchtastic. Good
    match, with the right guy getting the pin on the right guy, and I'm
    glad they actually resisted having MVP get pinned for once.
    Winners: R. Truth and Hurricane Helms

    In her office, Vickie is complaining to Chavo that her coffee is too
    cold. Chavo takes a sip and then Vickie slaps the cup out of his hand!
    There's nothing quite like a Vickie scorned. I'd love to hear an
    "EXCUSE ME~!" in a confined space like this, to make it even more
    earth-shattering. Edge enters, and he's even more upset, demanding
    retribution on Hardy. Vickie tries to calm him by saying that tonight
    he can take care of the other Hardy. Edge doesn't strike me as
    patient.

    Festus (with Jesse) vs. John Morrison (with The Miz)
    BISCUITS AND GRAVY!!! We get a replay of the now-infamous bell-ringing
    incident of three weeks ago, in which our savior Festus was toyed with
    and embarrassed to such an extent that the lives of Miz and Morrison
    are certainly in danger of ending via bear-paws. Miz tries to go after
    the bell at the outset, but Jesse cuts him off with a right-hand and
    then rings the bell himself to unleash the animal within Festus!
    Morrison is then quickly introduced to bear-paws, the most animalistic
    of which takes him off his feet. Morrison fights back with a low knee
    to the face, but Festus is all about the vengeance tonight and so the
    bear-paws keep flying. Actually, I'm not sure if the unleashed Festus
    retains the memories of what happened to comatose Festus. We really
    need some backstory there. Morrison goes for the springboard kick, but
    winds up being caught in mid-air and unloaded with a fall-away slam.
    Miz gets knocked off the apron, but Jesse misses his head with a
    bell-shot on the floor, and the sound of the bell hitting the
    ring-post results in Festus changing mid-match into the comatose
    variety. The Moonlight Drive soon after ends this one. What follows is
    an act so reprehensible that I can only assume the new tag team
    champions greatly underestimate the power of the flying biscuit:
    Morrison riding sedate Festus like a surfboard. You will know Festus'
    name is The Lord when he lays his vengeance upon thee.
    Winner: John Morrison

    It's time for recently subservient and overwhelmingly devastated Shawn
    Michaels and incensed and outraged former WWE Champion HHH to put on
    smiles and sell merchandise. The Game tries to shill the Elimination
    Chamber, but a hilarious look of disdain from HBK makes him
    reconsider. They get into an argument over who had more IC Title
    reigns when shilling the "History of the IC Title" DVD. The fury
    intensifies, however, when they plug the "SummerSlam" DVD boxset,
    which prompts HBK to mention the 2002 version where he came back and
    defeated HHH, to which Triple H replies that the thing that he
    remembers about that night was that Shawn still had hair! This leads
    to a playful pull-apart brawl. They should probably tape these live ,
    as the crowd reactions make them even funnier.

    Eve is with ECW Champion Matt Hardy, who proclaims that Jeff finally
    shut the critics up by winning the big one. He says that tonight Edge
    will be embarrassed yet again, but this time by a different Hardy.

    Non-Title Match: ECW Champion Matt Hardy vs. Edge
    YOU THINK YOU KNOW HIM!!! Matt begins the match by smiling, which, of
    course, gets under Edge's skin. Matt hooks in a front facelock, but
    Edge escapes and takes him down with a shoulderblock. Edge gets tossed
    over the top, but gets caught up in the top rope and winds up taking a
    clumsy bump to the floor, as we go to break.

    We come back just in time to see Edge miss a splash in the corner and
    take an arm-drag. Matt hooks in an arm-bar, but Edge fights out and
    takes over following a knee to the breadbasket. This time it's Matt
    who gets sent to the floor, and Edge follows with a baseball slide. He
    then rams Matt into the steel steps. Matt catches him with a boot in
    the corner, but Edge balances him on the second rope and forcefully
    pulls him back down to the mat in a neat spot. Matt goes for a
    desperation Side Effect, but Edge counters with an arm-bar takedown.
    Matt fights out of an arm-bar with a belly to back suplex. A swinging
    neckbreaker from Matt follows, as the crowd starts to come alive. Matt
    flies off the top with a moonsault to a standing Edge, which gets him
    two. The Twist of Fate gets countered into a uranage for two from
    Edge. The Side Effect connects this time, but Edge escapes on a long
    two-count by getting his foot on the bottom rope. Matt goes up for the
    "Ahh!" elbow, but he doesn't say "Ahh!" and so he consequently misses
    with that. Successive pinfall-reversals lead to successive two-counts.
    Double jeopardy follows. Edge goes for the spear, but winds up taking
    a drop toehold into the middle turnbuckle. Matt goes for the Twist of
    Fate again, but gets sent shoulder-first into the post. He turns
    around just in time to get speared out of his boots, and Edge picks up
    the big-time victory. The match started slowly and awkwardly, but
    built into something special by the end. They always manage to keep
    Edge strong by having a character who often, but not always, uses
    underhanded tactics to win, but who also shows that he's sometimes
    just a better wrestler than some of the best in the company and can
    win on his own merits, which helps to create a pretty awesome
    character.
    Winner: Edge

    Carlito (with Primo) vs. Ezekiel Jackson (with THE Brian Kendrick)
    This match stems from Zek nearly ending Carlito last week by shoving
    him headfirst into the ring-steps. Carlito comes out swinging, but Zek
    carries him backwards into the buckles. Carlito gets a boot up to stop
    a charge and then stomps on THE Brian Kendrick's fingers. THE Brian
    Kendrick responds with the classic shaky-finger sell. Zek charges into
    the corner, so Carlito moonsaults over his head, which should've led
    to Zek looking confusedly around and asking where Carlito went, but
    instead led only to Carlito dropkicking him from behind. Zek responds
    to this tomfoolery with a shoulder tackle of epic proportions.
    Bearhug! Carltio fights out and fires off with a right hand. Zek's not
    phased, though, and angrily clotheslines Carlito back down. Carlito
    winds up on the floor, where THE Brian Kendrick tries to hit THE
    Kendrick off the apron to the floor, but Carltio avoids it, and THE
    Brian Kendrick flips backwards all by himself and winds up getting
    decked by Primo. Back inside, a crossbody from Carlito gets two, but
    Carltio then springboards hoping for a back-elbow, but getting instead
    a clubbing blow to the back. The uranage ends this one, and THE Brian
    Kendrick dancing completes the scene.
    Winner: Ezekiel Jackson

    Maria vs. Maryse
    Divas Champion Michelle McCool takes a seat at ringside, and we learn
    that the winner of this match will become the new number one contender
    for her title. Maria HARSHLY slaps Maryse off her feet to start. Cue
    the catfight. They wind up on the floor, where Maryse hits a sneaky
    clothesline to take control. Back inside, she applies the dreaded
    Camel Clutch, in effect making Maria humble. She momentarily releases
    the hold only for the sake of posing, and then she reapplies it. What
    a heel. Maria escapes and starts teeing off with fiery redhead
    clotheslines. She comes off the second rope attempting something, but
    winds up hurting her knee on the missed landing. A DDT from Maryse
    ends this one. So why have Maria beat McCool and make such a big deal
    out of it if only to have Maria turn right around and get defeated by
    Maryse? Perhaps it's a journey storyline they're going for. Maybe
    it'll culminate in Maria winning the title at "WrestleMania." Like
    Hardy should've. But I digress. Maryse goes over to McCool, gestures
    at her title and then does some of the most tremendous overacting I've
    ever seen, before Michelle finally shoves her hand away and makes her
    step-off. The match sucked, by the way.
    Winner: Maryse

    Sullen MVP is in his locker room when Mr. Kennedy sidles next to him.
    MVP thinks he's just going to plug his movie, but he inadvertently
    winds up plugging the movie himself instead. After much hilarity, the
    segment concludes with Kennedy screaming his name twice directly in
    MVP's face. Good friends/better enemies.

    This week's "Raw Rebound" focuses on Randy Orton slapping Batista in
    the face, The Legacy putting the boots to Batista on the ramp, John
    Cena making the save for Batista, Cena and Batista partnering up, The
    Legacy facing Cena and Batista in a handicapped match, Orton hitting
    Batista with the RKO and Orton kicking Batista in the head with the
    DEATH BLOW, in that exact order. It should be said that Orton's been
    really good since returning. REALLY good.

    Eve is standing by with The Great Khali and Runjin Singh. We get the
    privilege of seeing "highlights" of Khali kissing Mae Young at the
    ppv. Khali then admits that he prefers Mae to Eve, but Singh assures
    her that she's a close second. I swear this wrestling stuff is fake.

    Non-Title Match: WWE Champion Jeff Hardy vs. Vladimir Kozlov
    Kozlov opens with a go-behind and then rides Hardy down to the mat,
    but Hardy fights back up and elbows his way out. He then runs directly
    into a Zek-esque shoulderblock, which is so impactful that Kozlov
    starts selling his own shoulder. Hardy gets tossed to the floor, but
    beats Kozlov back in and baseball slides him to the floor, as we go to
    break.

    We come back with Kozlov banging Hardy's arm and shoulder into the
    ring-post, and learn that the advantage switched during the break
    thanks to a push-kick! Please let this be the only time that a
    push-kick is relegated to a commercial break. Kozlov then hooks in a
    LONG arm-bar. Hardy briefly escapes, but takes a powerslam for his
    efforts and gets put right back in the hold. Hardy gets back to his
    feet, but put in the precarious position of having his arms trapped by
    Kozlov and being headbutted repeatedly in the chest. The bell-
    to-belly throw launches Hardy into the stratosphere. Not to be
    confused with the "Stratusphere." A Whisper in the Wind out of nowhere
    connects awkwardly for two and another follows! However, here comes
    Edge for the DQ. Kozlov holds Hardy, while Edge administers the
    punishment. He grabs a chair to ward off any possible interference.
    However, HHH is on his way, and a steel chair certainly isn't going to
    stop HIM! Pedigree on Edge! Kozlov gets taken down and he and Triple H
    brawl to the floor, where Kozlov gets posted and rammed into the
    announce table. The Game grabs the sledgehammer, and Kozlov decides
    now would be a good time to leave. Back inside, Hardy hits a Swanton
    out of nowhere on Edge! This show is over.
    Winner: Jeff Hardy

    This was another good show this week. Although I would've preferred
    holding off on the Hardy title reign, it's certainly, for now at
    least, leading to some awesome television. With Edge and Vickie hot on
    his trail and determined to make his life a living Hell, we should be
    treated to many weeks and maybe months of Hardy fighting valiantly to
    escape with his title. Elsewhere, it looks like HHH and Kozlov will be
    feuding, and let's just hope their next match is better than their
    "Survivor Series" thrillhouse. I'll be back next week with the
    post-Christmas "SmackDown" recap and a report from ROH's "Final Battle
    2008" in New York City, starring NAKAJIMA!

    wrestling Observer

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    Re: Smackdown Results And Discussion

    It's a miracle MVP didn't get pinned. He should get some champagne
    and celebrate.

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