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Thread: 30 facts about Samoa Joe

  1. #1
    Sand in the potato salad.

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    30 facts about Samoa Joe

    enjoy!

    Samoa Joe's tears cure cancer. Too bad he's never cried.

    Samoa Joe does not sleep. He waits.

    The chief export of Samoa Joe is pain.

    If you see Samoa Joe, he can see you. If you can't see Samoa Joe, you may be only seconds away from death.

    When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Samoa Joe.

    A blind man once stepped on Samoa Joe's shoe. Joe replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Samoa Joe, pregnant dog!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal enzuigiri delivered by Samoa Joe.

    When Samoa Joe sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a video of his match with Kenta Kobashi. Samoa Joe has not had to pay taxes ever.

    Samoa Joe once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

    A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Samoa Joe and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

    Samoa Joe is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a ****ing Indian.

    Someone once tried to tell Samoa Joe that Ole kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

    If you look in a mirror and say "Joe" three times, he will appear and kill your entire family... but at least you get to see Samoa Joe without buying a ticket.

    The quickest way to a Low-Ki's heart is with Samoa Joe's fist.

    When Samoa Joe's **** hits the fan, the fan breaks.

    There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Samoa Joe allows to live.

    In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Samoa Joe could use to kill you, including the room itself.

    Samoa Joe can divide by zero.

    You are what you eat. That is why Samoa Joe's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.

    The grass is always greener on the other side. Unless Samoa Joe has been there, in which case the grass is probrably soaked with blood and tears.

    The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Samoa Joe punched himself in the face.

    Samoa Joe invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Colt Cabana invented pink.

    The last man who made eye contact with Samoa Joe was Ray Charles.

    Children are afraid of the dark. Dark is afraid of Samoa Joe.

    5 out of 5 doctors recommend not pissing off Samoa Joe.

    When creating the alphabet, Samoa Joe placed the letters J, O, and E in seperate areas so people could learn to read and spell without fear.

    Samoa Joe coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.

    Samoa Joe was once involved in a head-on car crash, and he was the only survivor. Samoa Joe was walking at the time.

    Samoa Joe puts the laughter in manslaughter.

    There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Samoa Joe is going to walk.

    Samoa Joe does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Samoa Joe goes killing.





  2. #2
    No

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    hahah very funny

    bon where did u get these or did u make them?



  3. #3
    Sand in the potato salad.

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    umm...I made the-...nah, the ROH message board





  4. #4
    CO-Captain Darkness

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    I enjoyed that very much... nice post. :D

  5. #5
    Dat ass....

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    Boooo!!! You bitches quit knocking on the only true "facts" god, Mr. Chuck Norris. I wouldn't mind new facts about certain people, but those have all been clearly ripped off from Chuck. Booooooo to you sir, boo indeed!


    Team Cyrush T: ftBest

  6. #6
    But Who's Buying?
    Cumine the Trine!

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    Yea I was gona say that they were just Chuck facts with a couple of minor changes.

    And he scores goals...!




  7. #7
    God
    God's Avatar

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    ahhh thats brilliant,a w00t is in order.
    The Real Rock N' Rolla



  8. #8
    Formerly Chuck Norris

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    you have been given a w00t, that is fucking great, thanx!

  9. #9
    Indy Talent

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    ROFLMFAO!!1!!11!oneone! That is so funny!

  10. #10
    Curtain Jerker

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    Dude that is funny, Chuck Norris ripped off Samoa Joe.

  11. #11
    Formerly Chuck Norris

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    Joe vs norris, who wants to make an animated fight?

  12. #12
    ...

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    Boo! You suck the ducks... Norris facts stay to Norris, and Joe is probably dead now via Roundhouse kick, because of your Schnanagins .
    :Q:

  13. #13
    God
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    they make sense for joe, they dont for an actor who can kick
    The Real Rock N' Rolla



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  15. #15
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    Re: 30 facts about Samoa Joe

    I heard Samoa Joe could kill two stones with one bird.

  16. #16
    Vengeance With a Smile

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    Re: 30 facts about Samoa Joe

    This was 2 years old, please don't bring back old threads.

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