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Thread: Frustrated & Angry

  1. #1
    Toxic Attraction
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    Frustrated & Angry

    Kayden Knox: Why the fuck does this keep happening I feel like I am driving myself insane. Do you understand the angry the frustration of someone dangling something in front of your face time after time just to have them take it away as your inches fucking inches away?

    I feel like I am doomed in my own personal hell. I got to ask myself what the fucking point is anymore with any of this. I come out here week after week and it's just the same shit different day bouncing my head off the god damn wall until bone scraps where the flesh used to be.

    I thought using this anger would help get me over the edge but who the fuck am I kidding what the fuck does it matter? Do I dare ask myself what is next because the consent failure will drive me to drink and fall into those vices. Maybe that's what I am a loser I know that's what all you think of me. You dont respect me I can see it in your eyes. I can hear it in your voices like salt in a open wound. You think I am a failure a loser and you dont respect anything I say or anything I do and don't kid yourself or say otherwise because I have known it all along it is the story of my life. My step dad said it to me each and every day my so call friends do it they look down at me. I see it in the ring I see it on the streets I know how I am perceived. So yeah when the world looks at you like that three things are bound to happen.

    1. You fall into depression as you start to believe the truth as words start to cut like salt in a open wound you can try and hide it behind a smile or make jokes at your own expense but sooner or later its gonna catch up to you.

    2. You start to try and numb the pain with anything pills, drink taking a lighter and burning it under your skin until the flesh starts to smoke. You start to lash out in anger to hide how small in this world you feel and when that doesnt work it comes to the third option

    3. You find yourself with no options left and when depression and anger cant fill the void you become hollow and you start to think how little you done in this world and how the world would be in no difference if you weren't here and the truth of the matter is and I swear to whatever is on the other side there are days where option 3 seems like a damn good idea but here's the kicker I feel so little or that I am such a failure I cant even do that right. So what comes next I don't know but what I do know is I cant keep doing this same thing over and over because I am going to snap and I may self destruct and who knows who I will take with me.

    Last edited by OMB; 06-15-2020 at 01:40 AM.


  2. #2
    Hemmlock's Avatar

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    Re: Frustrated & Angry

    Ty Johnson and Dave Sullivan are walking side by side in the backstage area of the Atlanta arena. Sullivan is still in his ring gear while Johnson is wearing a t-shirt and jeans. Suddenly, they hear some yelling coming from a nearby locker room.

    Dave Sullivan: What the hell is that?

    Ty Johnson: I don't know. Uh, let me check it out. Yo in the mean time we can keep throwing around those ideas for team names man. I told you that we'd make a great team!

    Dave Sullivan: Yeah, well...we'll see. We have a lot to discuss. I'll meet you at the Wendy's?

    Ty Johnson: What? Wendy's? I don't know man, I don't like Wendy's in Atlanta. Especially tonight, just got a bad feeling.

    Dave Sullivan: Ok man, I really wanted to try that Baconator with the egg on it...but I guess Burger KING works too. See you there.

    Sullivan walks off while Johnson slowly creeps toward the yelling. He opens the door to Kayden Knox's locker room, and sees the brute inside with a towel over his head.

    Johnson looks over at Knox, and then scans the rest of the trashed locker room to get a realization of what's going on. Not currently active on the roster and having no enlarged ego to satisfy, Johnson can feel nothing but empathy.

    Ty Johnson: Hey man...uh, look. I get it. Trust me, I of all people understand what you goin through right now. I mean, my ass was sitting in jail for the better part of a year feeling some of those same frustrated emotions you 'feelin.

    But I can relate a little better than that man. I started off 4-0 in this company and feeling like I was hot shit. Then I had a match against Belle Connelly in the World Grand Prix tournament...this was a couple years ago now ya know. April, 2018. But this tournament was huge, real big shit. And I felt like I was real big shit too. I gave it my all...felt like I really did. But then, I lost. I fucking lost. Right before that I had this great moment too. I got stuck in an elevator with this little girl, who just really opened my eyes to what I could be. The potential I had to be a beloved star. It was really great shit. I thought she alone was going to give me the momentum I needed to beat a star like Connelly. But then, I didn't. I don't know how, but I didn't.

    And I was angry too at first...but then even worse, that anger went away. And I just felt...discouraged. I ended up fighting two more matches, before I let my guard slip. And that's when Dave cut me loose. And I lost everything.

    Suddenly, that little girl in the elevator who was supposed to be my biggest fan saw my face on the news as some bum who was no good.

    My point is, and trust me when I say this brother, I've been there.

    Now we're over two years passed that...and although I've yet to fight again, I can tell gets better. I'm on track to building myself back up again, building my career up again. Winning everyone back. And so are you. So are you.

    Johnson finishes his speech.

    Knox isn't saying anything back at the moment, so Johnson decides it's best to leave it at that. He starts to creep away back towards the door...

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