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Thread: [LA Times] Psychiatrist's office reports loss of records, fires three staff members.

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    [LA Times] Psychiatrist's office reports loss of records, fires three staff members.


    Sunday 31st May, 2020.
    Page 32.

    PSYCHIATRIST'S OFFICE REPORTS LOSS OF RECORDS, FIRES THREE STAFF MEMBERS.

    For over three decades, Dr. S Strangelove PSy.D has been renowned as one of the premier psychiatrists in Los Angeles. This reputation has led to many of the city's richest and most famous citizens enlisting the help of Dr. Strangelove to rise above personal demons. In a time when mental health is at the top of the conversational agenda in politics and society as a whole, Dr. Strangelove has been a leading voice in sculpting popular opinion.

    It comes as a surprise, then, that his office is currently in turmoil. The last week has perhaps been the most trying and troublesome one in Strangelove's long career. It all started last Sunday, when an anonymous tip to the Los Angeles Sentinel suggested that Strangelove's office had been broken into, and that many of the records of Hollywoo(d)'s elite had fallen into the wrong hands. For several days, Dr. Strangelove and those in his office have refused to comment on the rumour, which only added credence to it. It seems, though, that the fear of these records being released online - and, of course, the 'Chinese whispers'-style snowballing of these rumours - have forced Strangelove's hand and brought out a public comment on the incident.

    "It is with great sadness that I confirm there is some truth to the rumours that have been circling the L.A. press and the internet," he said during a brief news conference on the subject yesterday. "However, the Los Angeles police, as well as our own security team, would like to point out that there is no evidence of breaking or entering, and that we can rule out the use of force in this incident. Therefore, it is with great sadness that we have had to conclude that there has been some form of collusion between these thieves and staff here at the clinic."

    Dr. Strangelove would go on to confirm that three members of staff at his practice - a receptionist and two security guards - have been relieved from their positions, but that a lack of concrete evidence meant that criminal proceedings against them would not yet go ahead. In addition, it is the belief of the psychiatrist that these members of staff were contacted privately and anonymously, and that they do not know the identity of the person that paid them.

    Finally, Strangelove stated that only one person's records were stolen from the office, which means that they were specifically targeted as oppose to randomly burgled. This person has been contacted by Strangelove personally to be made aware of this situation, but the Doctor would not confirm their name to the press.

    It is unknown whether these records will surface in the public eye going forward, but one would imagine that this may be the end of Strangelove's long and storied tenure as the psychiatrist of choice for the stars.

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    Re: [LA Times] Psychiatrist's office reports loss of records, fires three staff membe

    I'm not sure I like where this is going.
    The most amazing thing about this recent conversation is that I've learned AON is even more of a waste of space than I thought he was previously

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    Re: [LA Times] Psychiatrist's office reports loss of records, fires three staff membe

    Uh-oh. Is Chris Manson breaking free?

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    Re: [LA Times] Psychiatrist's office reports loss of records, fires three staff membe

    Quote Originally Posted by Sayer View Post
    Uh-oh. Is Chris Manson breaking free?
    I mean...there's a tag team tournament around.
    Du bindest einen Blumenkranz...
    ...wieso siehst du so traurig aus?

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