View Poll Results: Who do you want to eliminate?

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  • Order

    5 62.50%
  • Ed

    1 12.50%
  • Silk

    0 0%
  • Baldrick

    0 0%
  • The Golden One

    2 25.00%
  • Tig

    0 0%
  • Wolf Beast

    0 0%
  • Wang Chung

    0 0%
  • Postman Dave

    0 0%
  • BoJack Horseman

    0 0%
  • Smooth Jazz Wolf

    0 0%
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Thread: WC Royal Rumble 11: Day 18

  1. #1
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    WC Royal Rumble 11: Day 18



    As the Rumble continues, let's check in on our expert commentary team, Smooth Jazz Wolf & Postman Dave. One has a mouthful of pizza. We won't tell you who, though.

    Postman Dave: Jazz Wolf, you're something of a perspective analyst, right?

    Smooth Jazz Wolf: In the same way standing in a garage and huffing fumes makes someone a car, yes.

    Postman Dave: Who are you most surprised at, that they've lasted this far?

    Smooth Jazz Wolf: Look, Dave, buddy, I'll be honest with you. I have no idea how The Gipper is still in this.

    Postman Dave: The Gipper? He's still in this?

    Smooth Jazz Wolf: Yeah he is. Look, there he is now, being stomped on by Wang Chung for touching his burrito.

    Postman Dave: ... Is that an euphemism for something, or-

    Wang Chung: I WAS SAVING THAT BURRITO FOR A MIDNIGHT SNACK!

    The Gipper: BUT WHY WERE YOU SAVING IT IN YOUR TROUSERS?

    Wang Chung: THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT.

    Postman Dave: Oh, I guess it's not an euphemism, neat.

    Smooth Jazz Wolf: Last year, The Gipper lasted two days. The year before that, one day. And now, he's been here since the beginning, seventeen days straight without someone beating his shit in. That's, like... A thousand percent increase on last time!

    Postman Dave: That doesn't sound accurate, but okay. So, is The Gipper your breakout star?

    Smooth Jazz Wolf: Absolutely!

    Postman Dave: Good to know. Hey, can you, like, close your eyes for twenty, thirty seconds?

    Smooth Jazz Wolf: Oh boy, I love this game! My uncle used to play it with me all the time.

    Postman Dave: ... Not going to ask, I probably won't like the answer.

    As Smooth Jazz Wolf does his best impression of a blind person, Postman Dave takes off his headset and rolls into the ring. He directs Wang Chung towards The Golden One by claiming he, too, touched Wang Chung's burrito, and with a roar of fury Wang Chung attacks The Golden One! Meanwhile, Postman Dave lifts The Gipper to his feet, brushes him off, and gives him an encouraging thumbs up.

    Postman Dave: You're doing great out here, man. Keep it up.

    The Gipper: Hey, th-

    Postman Dave suddenly kicks The Gipper in the gut, and follows with a stunner! The Gipper sells it like a madman, bouncing off the mat and over the ropes, before he continues to bounce and spring all the way up the aisle, behind the curtain. Postman Dave then quickly absconds back to the commentary desk, putting on his headset as Smooth Jazz Wolf reopens his eyes.

    Smooth Jazz Wolf: Oh no, repressed memories! Wait, this isn't my therapy session. This is the Rumble. Where's The Gipper gone?

    Postman Dave: I dunno. I think he had to... bounce.

    Freeze frame, laughing track, credits roll.

    ---

    Eleven left.


    Spoiler:



    I'm not good at signatures.


  2. #2
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    Postman Dave's Avatar

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    Re: WC Royal Rumble 11: Day 18

    And that's the bottom line, because "Partially Cold" Postman Dave said so!

    Sent from my E5823 using Tapatalk

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