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Thread: FIGHT NIGHT PROMO DISCUSSION THREAD 01/18/2020

  1. #21
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    Re: FIGHT NIGHT PROMO DISCUSSION THREAD 01/18/2020

    Quote Originally Posted by The Golden One View Post
    ...I enjoyed the promo from The Elite, but at the same time I didn't really enjoy it. It was somewhat vague and mysterious. I imagine we will get answers in the actual show results for Fight Night, but the promo was mostly centered around one team member's reservedness and then a monologue about the tag team division being in the backseat of the car. I felt like there was an energy here that didn't quite go all the way, almost like the reservedness of one character was also a reservedness of the writer to give away too much.

    Then again, it was a no-show win so holding some cards in may serve you better in the long run.

    I also definitely think color coding would improve the aesthetic of this promo.

    I think that's a fair assessment. I was really wanting to dive into this new storyline that I'm wanting to do with Trevor and Noah, but with my opponent no-showing (I hope everything's okay OMB), I just didn't want to throw it all out there. I also wanted to show the difference in the personalities of Trevor and Noah, as that will play big part in their development as a team and the development of the story.

    As far as coding goes - I just get REALLY lazy with it lol. I"ll wirte the RP and then I'll say "damn, I really don't want to code/color this up" and just hit submit. I"m going to improve the presentation of my next RP's so that it doesn't look like just a block of text and actually looks inviting.

    I appreciate the feedback and I'm also happy to see that I'm not the only person writing about the tag-teams and the division.

  2. #22
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    Re: FIGHT NIGHT PROMO DISCUSSION THREAD 01/18/2020

    Thanks for the feedback guys, I'll try and take it all on board for next week's promo.

    If you guys are still missing matches and want me to do another, I should have time tomorrow morning.

  3. #23
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    Re: FIGHT NIGHT PROMO DISCUSSION THREAD 01/18/2020

    Donovan Moore: I'll get the negative out of the way first. I thought the Narration style for actions was a good idea, but I feel like the actual writing of it was a bit jerky. It was just statement after statement that didn't really lead into each other or flow onto the next statement. I think treating it more like speech where sentences lead into each other a bit more, or just flow on better would really improve this.

    I was going to say on top of that I feel like the name Donovan Moore appears too often in the Narration as well, reading the same word(s) repeatedly can make things feel lumpy as well, but I do wonder if that's intentional? Like a heelish tactic to rub his name in the fans(readers) faces and make sure people dont forget who he is?

    You did a fantastic job of making sure we all know how full of himself Donovan is, and how the World revolves around him. Everyone's there to appease/please him. I get a real classic heel vibe from Donovan. Like he's very obnoxious and full of himself, and throw in some cheap heat by insulting the City he's in as well. His descriptiveness of how he'll deal with El Franko stood out in this regard as well. Just a very loud and brash character who revels in his own ego. I love the clash of characters between Moore and Franko as well, that's a really fun match up and two very distinct personalities going at it.

    By the end of the promo I have to say my earlier complaint felt insignificant. This was a really fun promo from a really loud character. I love how so much of it is built around the importance of 'time'. But not in the expected way, more of a "Donovan controls it" kind of way. This made me want to see more (and moore) from Donovan Moore. This could honestly quickly become one of my favourite characters in the FWA.




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    Re: FIGHT NIGHT PROMO DISCUSSION THREAD 01/18/2020

    Quote Originally Posted by ETE View Post
    Donovan Moore: I was going to say on top of that I feel like the name Donovan Moore appears too often in the Narration as well, reading the same word(s) repeatedly can make things feel lumpy as well, but I do wonder if that's intentional? Like a heelish tactic to rub his name in the fans(readers) faces and make sure people dont forget who he is?
    I sort of thought it read a bit repetitively, too, but felt it worked well with the character. As if he should always be addressed by his full name, like he's too good for pronouns...

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    Re: FIGHT NIGHT PROMO DISCUSSION THREAD 01/18/2020

    Quote Originally Posted by SuperSaiyan View Post
    I sort of thought it read a bit repetitively, too, but felt it worked well with the character. As if he should always be addressed by his full name, like he's too good for pronouns...
    I think it’s just something that while it can read repetitively it does suit the character. He doesn’t want to be referenced as anything less than Donovan Moore.




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