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Thread: 12/06/19 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread.

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    12/06/19 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread.

    This is where we all come to say nice things about Michael Garcia and terrible nasty things about Devin Golden. Then we all watch reruns of The Golden Girls while drinking hot cocoa.

    For reals though, be kind and review other promos. I promise we will practice what we preach, as well.

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    Re: 12/06/19 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread.

    I never saw The Golden Girls. Is that a tv show about all of Devin Golden's side chicks?

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    Re: 12/06/19 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread.

    EXT plz IDK how crazy work will be


    Spoiler:


    CWA World Heavyweight Champion
    Brayden Bridges




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    Re: 12/06/19 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread.

    Extension please. Very tired, much confusion, wrong thread earlier.

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    Re: 12/06/19 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread.

    Granted. Cyrus, Gabby, and Sean Hughes/The Prototype all have an extension.

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    Re: 12/06/19 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread.

    Same with Kayden Knox, The CCC, The Wave, and James Hughes.

    Sorry, OMB. Didn't see that one.

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    Re: 12/06/19 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread.

    I decline my extension.

    And humbly state that Gabrielle has a crush on Michael Garcia and thinks that Devin Golden guy is a joke.
    Last edited by ETE; 12-01-2019 at 02:03 AM.




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    Re: 12/06/19 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread.

    Smoothie requested an extension via PM.

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    Re: 12/06/19 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread.

    I took a different approach this week. Wanted to do a more light-hearted promo showing off hiscarrogant, trash-talking side.

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    Re: 12/06/19 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread.

    Ashley Bell: This was good, this was a fun read. It was well written, Ashley's insults were witty and creative enough. The writing of it made it stand out, and it made me want more. But thats the thing, I felt it was too short, at least for my liking. There's some real promise here, you're a good writer obviously I just wanted to see more length, go more in depth in who Ashley is and what she thinks of her opponents and partner.




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    Re: 12/06/19 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread.

    Forgot about the damn expiration tokens with posts and lost my entire promo. So unless Devin somehow forgets to promo I totally screwed up lol. Oh well, still got ring rust, wasn't the greatest promo anyway.



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    Re: 12/06/19 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread.

    Quote Originally Posted by iMatt View Post
    Forgot about the damn expiration tokens with posts and lost my entire promo. So unless Devin somehow forgets to promo I totally screwed up lol. Oh well, still got ring rust, wasn't the greatest promo anyway.
    I've come close to doing this before, and have in the past. It didn't auto save? Sometimes you can click restore in the bottom left corner of the quick post box and it will give you all the autosaved material. This has saved me before.

    I try and copy and paste everything though as I'm writing as a fail safe. So after I finish a section, I'll do a quick copy of everything.

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    Re: 12/06/19 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread.

    You guys write your promos straight on here?

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    Re: 12/06/19 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jon Snow View Post
    You guys write your promos straight on here?
    I generally do. It seems smart to use something like word first, but I like formatting it as I go too. I'll write a paragraph, then bold and color etc, then write another section and format again. Copy and pasting from word messes a lot up. The paragraphs aren't the sizes I wanted them to be, etc.

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    Re: 12/06/19 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread.

    I use the site and pm them to myself


    Spoiler:


    CWA World Heavyweight Champion
    Brayden Bridges




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    Re: 12/06/19 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread.

    I'll use just about any other processor. I'd rather suffer through formatting (I kept mine basic anyways because this site is a clusterfuck to format on) than losing my work. Google.com/docs is too easily accessible for me to put it straight on here.

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    Re: 12/06/19 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread.

    Quote Originally Posted by iMatt View Post

    Bit by Bit


    Thomas Princeton appears at a construction site, the St. Louis arch stands proudly in the distance. Princeton is wearing a hard hat, work boots and denim button up with dark jeans.



    Shit it erased all the rest of my content forgot that the token expires. So there goes my promo, welp nothing I can do about that.

    This, particularly the last paragraph, is the greatest winning promo I've ever seen.


    "The Golden One" Devin Golden

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    Re: 12/06/19 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Golden One View Post
    This, particularly the last paragraph, is the greatest winning promo I've ever seen.
    Uh, excuse me maybe you've forgotten but let me refer you to this little beauty I wrote years ago...

    Quote Originally Posted by Sully View Post
    A small room is shown. It is surrounded by white walls, and no windows. Only fluorescent lights blinking from above. In the middle of the room is a cold metal chair. On that chair is none other than Dave Sullivan. Sullivan is looking as scruffy as ever, with his unwashed hair and unshaved face. Dave just sits in the chair...doing nothing for a good three minutes and twenty-seven seconds. Finally, out of nowhere, Dave lifts his right leg up, and lets out one really nice long fart.

    Dave Sullivan: That's what I think of James Syncidate.

    Dave then kills some people and shoots up heroin and all that stuff.

    *End promo*



    Here's another beauty of mine...


    Quote Originally Posted by Sully View Post
    Dave Sullivan is in a dream like state. It might be the opium he took a few hours ago, it might be the concussion he possibly suffered last week. But he is loop. Everything you're about to see is all a figment of his twisted imagination.

    Dave is in a
    hallway. A very long and dark hallway with very little lightning. The hallway is very boring...very bland...very grim. And Dave is naked...Dave is naked in all of his naked beautiful glory, with his big sexy ass and his rock hard abs that would make PASSION's ding a ling spring like a jack in a box.

    But Dave is frightened, he is scared and timid like a small puppy. He slowly makes his way down the dark hallway, all the way to the end. Where he sees a big giant door, one that makes Dave feel so small and worthless in the world. A door of authority and intimidation.

    Dave creeks in, and he sees his biggest fear. There he is...there is the evil...sitting there in a beige suit. He is 7ft
    tall, and is wielding a Hitler mustache. It is FWA legend Devin Golden, but why is he in this dream?

    Dave says, rather timidly...

    "Uhm...uh...Mr. Golden sir? May I...uhm...please have an extension?"

    The Hitler-esque Golden turns in anger, as flames spew from his eyeballs. He looks as though Dave just asked him if he could give him a reach around. Hitler Golden says nothing, as he just stares in anger.

    "You see uhm...my mom is sick...and I had to go to the hospital. And I really tried to get ready for my match, but uhm...I-"

    "NO!!!!!!!!!!! NO EXTENSIONS!!!!!!!!!" says Hitler Golden as he slams h
    is fist down.

    Out of the mercy of Jesus Christ himself, Dave wakes up from this nightmare. He wakes up to sweat and tears. He nervously checks to make sure he didn't wet himself, but thankfully he didn't...not again. Dave doesn't know how many of these nightmares he could take, it's the same thing every night. Was it because he ate Mr. Golden's burrito in the locker room that one time? Hey may never know, but surely he cannot focus on his opponent this week. The trauma is far too great. Oh and besides, why should he waste his energy? It was just like Sandy said...blow it off. Dave has to conserve his energy.

    It could be worse Dave thought, he could be having nightmares about MC Fromage again.
    Oh the cheese...so much cheese thinks Dave as he shivers in fear.

  19. #19
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    Re: 12/06/19 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread.

    I finally had an opportunity to read and review majority of the RP's posted in the thread. This is my first time reading for majority of the characters here in FWA so I would consider this also my first impression. I've included some general notes/comments that I noticed throughout at the end of this.

    1. Gabrielle
    I'm a big fan of included enough detail to really immerse the reader into the world of the character that you are writing for. I think it also can be used to convey things better than what words of someone can (i.e. a dark isolated room can be a metaphor for someone feeling alone etc.). But, when I read the opening paragraph to this RP I felt like a lot of the information/details were unnecessary to progressing things.

    Once I got past the intro I started to notice that it seemed like Gabrielle was having what appeared to be a slow mental breakdown. I'm not sure if that's 100% what you were wanting to portray but her not being able to figure out how to let her hair rest and a couple of other actions seemed like she's becoming unstable.

    The promo finally started to take shape when she addressed Cyrus Truth. There's some unfinished business and I think jealousy of Cyrus that I'm seeing there (I think she secretly likes him) and I'm looking forward to the eventual clash. While you did address the New Breed, they weren't necessarily your focus but they caught the wrath of Gabrielle for sure.

    2. Kayden Knox
    The depression that Kayden was feeling was conveyed very well. I think the flashback to his past and his almost stumble back to the drugs and alcohol was told well, but I'm very curious as to why the Carnal Contendership was the thing that almost broke him? I have a broad grasp of things but I didn't think he was in the World Title picture...yet. It seems like an overreaction for something that wasn't viable, but,again, I'm not all that up on Kayden's story.

    I liked the compassion and genuine care that AJ showed for Kayden. He knows his aspirations and wants to see him get there. The only thing I was genuinely missing was some type of mention of your opponents/upcoming match and how it will get him back on track. I may have missed that.

    3. Ashley Bell
    Short and sweet but damn I loved how you addressed the Carnal Contendership and then moved past it (I'll address that later). The trash talk in this RP was GREAT and whitty. I found myself "stanning" Ashley Bell after this promo.

    4. Kevin Cromwell
    This promo did a good job of planting seeds and alluding to what I believe is an eventual collision with both Nova Diamond and Dave Sullivan. However, I thought the trash talk about and towards Izzy was kind of generic and really didn't offer anything that made it unique to Kevin.

    5. Jason Randall
    I know it wasn't supposed to be a comedy promo but it was kind of funny how Jason was portrayed. it was kind of like a drunk rambling and never really making a valid point, but saying a lot. I liked it lol

    6. Michael Garcia
    The beginning half was not an enjoyable read to me because it felt like filler just to make things a little longer. Things didn't really pick up until you got to the comparison between Hollywood and FWA. I thought that was very well written and thought out but the beginning half of the RP just made me kind of not like Michael Garcia. If that was your intention, then I guess keep it up.

    The trash talk about Devin Golding seemed very drawn out compared to that of Jason Randall. I'm all for pushing storylines forward, but remember that while your opponent down the line is down the line and not the one your currently having to beat. I hope that made sense.

    7. Cyrus Truth
    The scene with the drunk seemed super TV show/movie cliche with how it went down.I'm not particurarly a fan of things like that because it's cheesy. In this situation, Cyrus would have been the one who would have been put out because he was the one that came in with an attitude and escalated things. If I read things correctly, the bartender didn't know him, he knew the drunk dude so why would he put out a regular over a new patron? I think I may have overthought that whole thing but it brought down the beginning of the promo, to me.

    The second half of the RP showed true character development that was attempted by other but mastered by you. You kept me interested in your potential match with Gabrielle as well as into the metamorphosis of Cyrus Truth and his upcoming tag-team match.

    8. Dave Sullivan
    The dialogue between characters in this promo was cringey for me. The things that Sullivan was saying to the TSA agents would have resulted in him being arrested or he definitely would have been flagged as unstable and unable to fly. If it wasn't his words to them that would have got him flagged, it would have definitely been him doing a whole bit with toys while people are trying to get through TSA to catch their planes. I get that he's supposed to be an over the top character and obsessed with being the triple crown champion but I just felt like while he can get away with these antics in a wrestling setting, it came off as weird and embarrassing in a non wrestling setting.

    9. The Elite
    I'm never a fan of writing promos for squash matches because it makes me lack motivation/drive to actually want to write something worthwhile. I was trying to convey some past tension between Noah and Trevor after the death(?) of CWA and now. Throughout the run of CWA they just always seemed like a unit but I wanted to portray that it's not always harmony between tag-teams. Tag-teams are kinda like couples because they have ups, they have downs, they have arguments, they have success, they have knock down blow out fights. You get the idea. I was going to go further with things but I thought I'd just save that for an out of competition RP that'll segue into the next match RP.

    General Observation Notes
    - A lot of people were portraying their characters as impacted by the Carnal Contendership and really let it show in their RP's but...before the contendership they weren't really in the World Title scene so I just didn't understand the pain and sorrow that they were filling about a match that the odds say they weren't a favorite to win anyways. It just seemed odd to me.

    - I see a ton of heels and tweeners but no real faces. I get that it's easier to write for a heel but every heel needs a face, right? Because there is a lack of faces, I'm planning on writing The Elite as the face tag-team striving for the top face spot in the division.

    All in all, I'm excited to be here and offer input/insight whenever.

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    Re: 12/06/19 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread.

    Appreciate the review man.

    This is my first RP for Sullivan since he won the World championship, so my intention was in fact to really make him over the top this promo to drive home just how full of it he is in his head.

    Agree though that compared to the bar I set for myself in my last two RPs, this was a step off. But I read through the dialog another time and I'm pretty sure I'm happy with the way it all turned out. It's a nice little piece for Sullivan's arc on the road to Back in Business. I'm not sure if I'll come out with the win, but if that's the case I'm fine with that because I think it's really good timing for Sullivan's story.

    I'm sorry you weren't able to find anything positive about my promo to write back about, but hopefully I can impress you with the next one.

    Look forward to the show results when they are posted because there is so much fun stuff to come.
    Last edited by Sully; 12-06-2019 at 12:46 AM.

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