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Thread: 25 May - World Grand Prix DAY 3 Promo Thread

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    25 May - World Grand Prix DAY 3 Promo Thread

    Promos are due Thursday, 24 May at midnight pacific, 3am Friday EST, 8am UK. American pplz, get em in before the holiday weekend!

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    Re: 25 May - World Grand Prix DAY 3 Promo Thread

    Danny Toner
    The Three Titted Hooker

    We open in a dimly lit room, the only light source coming from a long white candle stuck in an iron holder. The candlestick is situated on an old, wooden table which bears many scuffs and scratchings on its surface. Sitting on a stool beside the table is Danny Toner. His face is barely illuminated in the candle-light but we still see a flash of white as he smiles that smile at the camera. He speaks softly.

    Danny Toner: “Come closer.”

    Danny indicates for the cameraman (or whoever the fuck it is that captures all these guys in their day to day shit) to move towards him. Danny smiles once again.

    Danny Toner: “Get comfortable kiddo because Uncle Danny, well, Uncle Danny’s got a story to tell ya!”

    The screen fucks up and distorts Wyatt style but instead of the chilling, ominous music we get camp, time-travelling fuckery music. And you love it.



    Ever been to Amsterdam? Ya really oughta go if you haven’t been. It’s a gorgeous city, built on a family of canals and dams with little cobbled streets and bridged roads (which are slippery when wet). The guys there, they’re friendly as all hell and it’s one of these places where although heavily affected by tourists, you could still lose yourself exploring the local hideouts, nooks and cranny’s. Amsterdam is kinda unfairly known for two things; the sweet, sweet gringo and the smelly, slutty pootang. Both come at a price and like anything; you get what you pay for, you know? They say you’ll never smoke two of the same joints or fuck two of the same broads in Amsterdam but when you’ve been there as much as me … it all kinda gets repetitive and blurs into one. I won’t lie but I was getting kind of jaded with the whole Damski experience but one day I was knockin’ back some poorly pulled pints in this little bar called The Doors and that’s when everything changed.

    We see Danny Toner sitting at a booth in a fairly empty bar. He has a pint of Heineken in front of him and he’s eying the head on the pint in disgust whilst listening to the speakers blast out Riders on the Storm by the bar’s namesake – The Doors. An unlit joint hangs from his lip and he fumbles around his pockets for a lighter and curses himself as he fails in his conquest to light his spliff. Suddenly, an outstretched hand sparks a lighter right in front of him and without even bothering to look up, Danny inhales, lighting the joint. Danny looks up to mutter his thanks but can’t get his words out. Danny’s seen some characters in his time (XYZ, Ghost, Divine) but this one took the biscuit. The man who had helpfully lit Danny’s joint was a sight to behold. He was a plodding, overweight, funny looking man sporting a HUGE green mohawk and had tattoos on the shaved sides of his head. His earlobes are stretched to such an extent that Danny was fairly sure he could spit from where he was sitting and he’d get a hole in one. The guy smiled weirdly showing a set of golden grills on his teeth and took a seat without being prompted.

    Danny Toner: “Well, what the fuck have we got here?”

    Weird Mohawk Guy: “Heeeeeellloooooo.”

    Danny raises his eyebrow, he thought the Dutch accent was weird already but this guy just sounded like a male Ariana Grande on LSD.

    Danny Toner: “… Alright?”

    Weird Mohawk Guy: “What is your name?”

    Danny Toner: “Uh, Danny … why?”

    Weird Mohawk Guy: “Yes, yes Danny, good. Danny, tell me, do you like the unknown?”

    Danny jumps up from the booth and holds his hands in the air.

    Danny Toner: “No offense bud but I don’t swing that way, sorry du-”

    The Peter Wright lookalike jumps up and claps Danny’s hands in his own.

    Weird Mohawk Guy: “No, no, no! This, this unknown entity is the complete opposite of homosexual relations. This, this is a secret. A secret woman, one who very few know about but one that offers an experience like no other … a night you will never forget … if you’re willing to pay.

    Danny scoffs at the offer as he pulls his hands back from the weirdo.

    Danny Toner: “I’ll politely decline.”

    Weird Mohawk Guy: “Is Danny too good to pay for services? Even here … in this city?”

    Danny takes a big swig of his Heineken and looks at the man before laughing.

    Danny Toner: “Me! Too good to … pal, you don’t know the half of it. I’ve had every type of broad to be had in this city; black, white, Asian, small, tall, tiny tits, big tits, floppy-”

    Weird Mohawk Guy: “What about three tits?”

    Pause. Freeze-frame. Screeching to a halt sound effect. Danny’s mouth agape. Narration time.

    See what you guys have to remember is that I really freakin’ had done every type of chick imaginable. I don’t feel guilty about it, I mean, they’re being paid for it – well except that one time with this little Mexican chick but look, I didn’t know she was allergic to hot sauce so that ain’t exactly my fault – but for the most part they were paid. In full. It had become something like a game to me; trying all different types in all different ways. But as any nerd gamer will tell ya – you can complete games. And I’d felt like I’d completed Amsterdam but there I was, talking to a man who may or may not rape me, and I was just after being presented with the biggest fucking easter egg ever. A hidden final boss. The post-credits end game. How the hell could I say no?

    Un-pause. Danny closes his mouth and looks side to side and leans in to the man.

    Danny Toner: “Sorry pal, I need you to be really, really clear right now … did you jusy say … three tits?”

    The man slowly nods his head up and down and raises three fingers to Danny. He then touches his left nipple and mouths “one”, touches his right nipple and mouths “two” and then begins leaning towards Danny’s own chest but Danny slaps his hands away.

    Danny Toner: “Sold. Let’s freakin’ go.”

    The screen is engulfed in darkness and we hear Danny narrating once again.

    With the shake of a hand and the clink of a pint it was all set. I’d give this freaky, ghoulie motherfucker five hundred euros and he’d take me to pork a chick with three tits. Now of course I made sure we dotted the i’s and crossed the t’s – he guaranteed me it’d be full on intercourse with no time limit. In fact, if I had the money – which I did – he’d told me he’d take me straight to her. Off we went in a cab and after a really mild-mannered exchange with the taxi man he decided I COULD smoke in his car on the way there. Anyway I got there, this real seedy joint, up a lane and through a steel door kind of buzz, you know? El Freakazoid left me to it and I walked into this room and there was this broad standing there and well … well a picture paints a thousand words.

    We suddenly have picture again and Danny Toner is standing there looking at a tall, tanned woman. She has dark features – eyes and hair are both a full brown color – and she is clad in a black thong and a black sports top. Danny wasn’t looking at what she was wearing, he was too busy counting over and over and rubbing his eyes to make sure what he was seeing was real. Three. It was three. Three big juicy bad boys. Not that he was overly into it but this was one for the books. The woman bent over in front of Danny and opened a small fridge. She talks in a eastern European accent.

    Three Titty Brazzer: “Beer?”

    Danny Toner: “Don’t mind if I do.”

    The woman smiles and throws – yeah, I know, who throws bottles of beer? - the bottle of beer at the unsuspecting Danny and it sails right past him and smashes against the wall. Danny and the woman stare at the mess on the ground and then begin to giggle. The woman makes her way over and Danny instinctively reaches out to touch one of her three glorious breasts. The woman pulls away and wags her finger suggestively at him.

    Three Titty Brazzer: “You want to touch, you pay!”

    Danny Toner: “I already give your reptile-lookin’ pimp half a freakin’ grand?!”

    Three Titty Brazzer: “Huh? My …?”

    Danny Toner: “Fat guy? Mohawk?”

    The puzzled look on the prostitute’s face told Danny everything he needed to know – he’d been in the game himself long enough to know when he’d been swindled. With a shrug, Danny asked the price.

    Danny Toner: “Much?”

    Three Titty Brazzer: “One hundred.”

    Danny Toner: “For…?”

    Three Titty Brazzer: “Suck and fuck.”

    Danny Toner: “That fat bastard …”

    Danny curses about his conman as he fumbles around his pockets for two fifty euro notes. The lady of the night starts cleaning up the mess made by the broken beer bottle when she loses her footing (slippery when wet throwback) on the spillage and lands in the shards of broken glass.

    Danny Toner:
    “Oh fuck me!”

    Danny pulls the girl up to her feet. She has small shards of glass in her arms and one slightly bigger piece seems to have grazed her jaw causing a small laceration.

    Danny Toner: “Shit, you’re like an eastern European Izzy Van Doren!”

    Three Titty Brazzer: “Izzy Van Doren?”

    Danny Toner: “She’s some chick I work with that’s like you cause you’re all cut up and shit but she’s got yeno …”

    Danny fondles the air in front of his own chest as if he has make-believe breasts.

    Three Titty Brazzer: “Two breasts?”

    Danny Toner: “Yeah! Two of’em!”

    ???: “ABORT! ABORT!”

    Danny turns around and the fat, mohawk, stretched earlobe conman comes crashing in from a hidden door in the wall of the room. He looks frantic and he’s carrying a baseball bat.

    Danny Toner: “HEY! YOU! You owe me five hundred bucks!”

    Weird Mohawk Guy: “Fuuuuhuck you! Danny FUCKING Toner! I knew I recognized you! Mary, get outta here – we can’t rob this guy!”

    Danny stares at the girl.

    Danny Toner:Mary? Really!?”

    The girl shrugs.

    Mary the Three Titty Brazzer: “My mother is catholic.”

    Danny Toner: “Oh …”

    Wait. Baseball bat. BOOM! SUPPPPPPPPEEERRRKIIIIIICCCCCCCK!!!!!! Freeze on Danny’s foot mid-flight, inches from connecting with the guy’s jaw. Cue, narraToner (ya’ll like that?).

    Man. What. A. Let. Down. Not only was I after being conned, it was the last day of my trip and there I was trying to ride circus freaks and making deals with guys shadier than Thomas Princeton. Such is life kids, such is life. See there’s a lesson in all this – forbidden fruit doesn’t always taste the sweetest it just costs you half a fucking grand.

    Toner’s foot connects and the fat fuck goes flat on his back. Danny begins shouting obscenities at the man whilst Mary slips out of the room undetected. Toner’s FWA theme “Greenback Boogie” plays over the closing image aaaaaandddd scene!


    We’re back in the candle-lit room from the beginning of the promo. Danny has no smiles this time as he stares into the camera.

    Danny Toner: “Hanz, bud, there’s a reason I chose to tell that specific story the week I’m due to face you – it’s a metaphor for the whole thing. You better start looking for a new career you steaming German pile of garbage! I’ll put ya out of your misery bud, you might be the least formidable guy I’ve ever had the displeasure of sharing the ring with. At Fight Night – it’s all over. I ain’t gonna be able to get rolling until I beat someone to a bloody pulp and everyone realizes that Toner county is the new head of state in FWA and someone has to take the fall, unlucky for you bud. But hey, I’m doing you a favour, after all, you’re the third tit. You just aren’t worth my fucking time.

  3. #3
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    Re: 25 May - World Grand Prix DAY 3 Promo Thread

    A Astonishing Revelation

    We open with a look at the night sky over the city. It is a cool summer night as the rain hits against the windows of a old apartment building. We go into the bedroom where Deception sits in the dark not able to sleep he lights a cig smokes it as the dim light shows off just the scars on his face he seems to be talking to himself.

    Deception: There is no man that knows he has hit rock bottom until he starts to rise again. I am on the rise and I am the phoenix rising from the ashes and while my luck has never been on my side I am feeling lucky I am feeling good I have my head on straight and I see the light. There's a light and there is lady liberty on the other side ready to embrace me for the justice I have made in the wake of injustice in this world full of hate and evil. I am an lawful man but my mind it weighs heavy.

    I am not sure who I am talking too maybe this is just me thinking out loud maybe this is me becoming broken or woken? No, my mind is still here but I digress, I can't sleep I toss and turn and while others may find their answers in the bottom of the bottle and others inside a bottle of pills or whatever vice I find that my answers come in the form of you.

    The man I face. the man who has seen it all he has done it all and he is a man that is in the same place as me falling like the ashes of my cig to the ground ready to either go out or set a blaze that starts a fire that burns bright ready to burn down the very core of your bones. Chris, I don't know you that well and maybe that is my fault but allow me to introduce myself I am the hero of justice , I am the malice avenger , I am the man you face very soon . I am Deception and while you may overlook me because you think you are better then me I sit here thinking about you and the sins the injustices you have made. You were a leader of men , you were a liar, a false idol, in some sense a God to these people but I see you for what you really are.

    You know what that is?

    You are me you are the man in the mirror you are the worse parts of me coming to life . I see your face and I see it as if it was mine. You are arrogant, you are cold, you are so many more things in a list that could go on and on but do you know what it starts and ends with is that you are me.

    You see because, I am just one bad day from becoming you while you are just climbing Jacob's ladder to what you think is heaven but is a one way trip to hell. So I wonder if you are awake right now planning thinking like me or are you so vein so arrogant that you look past me onto the very next challenge.

    The truth of the matter is if you do that as I think you are you are going to fail and where you fail I succeed. I am ready to follow my road into the loving embrace of lady liberty while you sit in bed not able to sleep as the cold sweats form and the seeds of doubt plant in your head eating you alive.

    Chris you are going to feel what I felt you are going to open your eyes and see what I see and it is going to make you a better man and it is going to absolve you from the injustices and you will join my fight my crusade onto the path of justice. So join me help me help you help me help all those whose eyes can not see where injustices hid in the shadows stand arm to arm or perish like the rest of the damned, the lost, the broken, the woken, and you and them will fall. You won't though because I know who you are and I know what goes on in your head and I see what the next move is. I will see you soon .

    We see Deception lay back down muttering words as he clinches something we cant see in his hands.

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    Re: 25 May - World Grand Prix DAY 3 Promo Thread

    The scene begins with what looks a set for one of those informercials that you see on TV at 3am and sitting front and center is Jason Randall. He’s sitting on a stool placed in front of the camera and directing the camera is Penny along with Fred the Cat and Norman.

    Penny: Are you ready?

    Jason Randall: I’m as ready as I’ll ever be

    Fred is holding the clapboard all cute like with his little paws.

    Penny: Ready? Action!

    Jason Randall: Hi, I’m Jason Randall. You might remember me from the time I beat Mike Parr senseless, and the time that Mike Parr laid me out in the center of the ring like a little bitch after he was supposed to be my tag team partner.

    Penny: Cut!

    Jason Randall: What? I thought that was perfect!

    Penny: It was good but did you really feel the need to insult him like that?

    Jason Randall: Well what he did to me made him look like a little bitch, so it seems appropriate to refer to him as such

    Penny: Fair point I suppose

    Jason Randall: Look, Penny dear, if you don’t like it we can edit it out but I really can’t help it, okay? I know you want me to be a better person and all that but this is just the way I am

    Penny: I know that but I also know that there’s good in you, I’ve seen it before.

    Jason Randall: Yeah, but where has that ever got me before in this business? No one has ever gotten by in this industry by being nice. You’ve gotta be ruthless to survive in this industry! I’ve tried being serious too but look where that got me

    Penny shrugs and nods in agreement knowing that his serious work wasn’t his best.

    Jason Randall: I’m just gonna be me, okay? This is who I am. I’m blunt and I’m honest, and if I’m being honest right now, Mike Parr is a little bitch

    Penny: Okay then, you be you! We’ll continue from where you left off and edit it later in post

    Jason Randall: In post? What does that mean?

    Penny: I don’t know but I just always wanted to say it

    He shrugs and sits back down on the stool as Penny shouts action.

    Jason Randall: Today I’m here to talk about why being a little bitch will get you an ass beating courtesy of yours truly. You see, Mike Parr is the type of person that thinks his shit doesn’t stink, but in fact it does. He’s that douchey kind of guy that thinks he’s so cool and that he gets all the ladies, but the reality is that he’s just a douche. He’s not cool and as much as he thinks he gets all the ladies, he doesn’t.

    Childish insults aside, I will give him credit. He is a solid hand in the ring, but don’t take that as weakness. I still hate your guts, Mike. I hate everything you stand for and I just hate you. Don’t feel too bad though, I really don’t like a lot of people but right now you’re at the top of my shit list and that’s not good news for you.

    He takes a breath and pauses briefly to think.

    Jason Randall: Now I know that you probably don’t see this match as a big deal because your fellow douche Chris Kennedy beat us both, thus securing Block B in his favor. It’s true, this match isn’t really a big deal but that won’t stop me from giving you an ass kicking of a lifetime.

    He stands up from the stool and stares directly at the camera.

    Jason Randall: I told you that I wouldn’t forget what you did. I bet you wished I’d have forgotten or you wish you hadn’t done what you did, but you did what you did and now you’re going to pay the consequences, Mike. You see I let it stew inside of me and waited for this moment because I knew inevitably that I would get my hands on your in this Grand Prix, and when I did I would do exactly what I did the last time we met in the ring and that’s beat your ass for that one, two, three! You better pray to whatever god you believe in, Mike, because you’re going to need whatever it takes to beat me. I don’t go down easy, not without a fight. Ask WOLF, ask Chris Kennedy. WOLF damn near had to kill me to keep me down and Kennedy had to resort to cheating, but they didn’t get the job done. I’m still standing, and unfortunately for you Mike that’s bad news.

    You can say whatever you want about me and it’ll all be true. I know I’m a scumbag, I embrace that Mike. I don’t hide who I am like you or your fellow jackass Chris Kennedy. I am who I am and there’s nothing that anyone can say or do that will make me change who I am. To take an old saying from myself, playtime is over and your ass is next!

    The scene comes to a close.

    Rest in power, Flock U

    Team Cyrus T is Best for Business

    Quote Originally Posted by Ed
    Stop the hating of the E-Feds. If you don't like something, that's fine, just ignore it and let the people who do enjoy what they're here on WC to do. Mocking them to make you feel less of a geek for being on a geek on a wrestling forum is lame. If you want to not read their posts, I can fix that for you.

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