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Thread: Tag League Final 2018 Promo Discussion Thread

  1. #21
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    Re: Tag League Final 2018 Promo Discussion Thread

    Apologies for not getting a promo in. I didn't get back from my weekend away until late last night and with work this morning I just didn't have time to do anything. Knew it would be difficult even with the extension.

    Sorry to Sully too, let the side down unfortunately. At least the extension meant that you could get a promo in so that's a consolation at least.

  2. #22
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    Re: Tag League Final 2018 Promo Discussion Thread

    It's late, it's crap but it's something. As some of you may be aware I have no laptop atm, I was hoping to do a promo (proper) in work yday but it was crazy busy and we have limited internet access -_- on top of that my phone is so so so fucked. I ended up typing what I posted on my phone and it took so long. Absolutely zero chance of coding being done it's a weak-ass promo but just wanted to post something. Hoping to get back into the swing of things and get sorted laptop wise this week.

  3. #23
     
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    Re: Tag League Final 2018 Promo Discussion Thread

    Hanz: For what it is, there's not too much wrong with it. Clean format, you talk about your opponent, etc.

    But this just seemed like a very bland cookie cutter kind of promo. One that maybe would be fine for a random fight night, but this is the big show.

    I like promos with unique settings, character story and development, theme.

    Maybe you didn't have a lot of time and wanted to just get something out there. But this promo didn't give me a lot. Just felt more like an EWN kind of promo.

    But you have good format, and Gruber is such an interesting character. I just want to see some story with that character.

    Edit: I did just see you said you typed it up real fast.

  4. #24
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    Re: Tag League Final 2018 Promo Discussion Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Sully View Post
    Hanz: For what it is, there's not too much wrong with it. Clean format, you talk about your opponent, etc.

    But this just seemed like a very bland cookie cutter kind of promo. One that maybe would be fine for a random fight night, but this is the big show.

    I like promos with unique settings, character story and development, theme.

    Maybe you didn't have a lot of time and wanted to just get something out there. But this promo didn't give me a lot. Just felt more like an EWN kind of promo.

    But you have good format, and Gruber is such an interesting character. I just want to see some story with that character.

    Edit: I did just see you said you typed it up real fast.
    Yeah basically just wanted to get something in. If I would have waited for Mardi Gras holidays to be over with, then bring our friends back to the airport, then work work work I def wouldn't have gotten anything in. And even with an extention for the promo I couldn't have done anything. Writing a promo in a car does suck btw, my mind wasn't really into it. I just had some bullet points I had in mind and winged it. My friends I brought back to the airport had to turn around and come back 4 days later (from Germany). One of the friends fatherpassed away and he lives here in the states about an hour away from me.
    I figured SB would have won anyways with my promo I submitted, but he didn't get one in. And he isn't efedding anymore

  5. #25
     
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    Re: Tag League Final 2018 Promo Discussion Thread

    I've got some dead time at work so I'm going to review some promos. Especially since this thread and section have been pretty quiet last few days.

    Drew and Ethan Conner: this was obviously a pretty quick and rushed promo. But you could've at least thrown some format in to make it readable. Never the less your scenes are still more descriptive than half the roster even when you're quarter assing it, and it does it fulfills it's job of presenting a bit of the Conners.

    Penny and Jason Randall: This one felt more like a Penny promo than a Randall one, but you did a decent job of bringing them together. I'm always a fan of a basic picture to top the promo, but not when it steals away from setting description. Basic format wise I just think it presents better personally, but still you can't just use it as an excuse to not describe the setting at the beginning. London can be such a detailed place, and I feel like you missed the boat here when it came to describing it. I loved the scenes of Penny talking to her pets, it just really laminates her character. As well as when Jason attacked the bartender, really showed his character as well. Overall solid stuff.

    Deception: I actually really enjoyed this one. Some grammatical issues, but I like the overall dialog from Deception. Only other thing besides grammar and it's more of a personal gripe, but I think Deception's dialog needed to be broken up just a tad more with descriptions. The blocks of text from Deception dragged on just a tad at times, but overall I thought this was really good and I really liked the malice theme.

    Wolf: I really think this was one of the best promos of the show, not gonna lie. Your whole President of the North American Division shtick is pulling off. And just the subtle things like the red, white, and blue colors pull it together. My only gripe with that is North America isn't just the USA, you've got Canada and Mexico in there as well as a couple others I think like Greenland. But none the less that doesn't matter because as a heel you're still pulling it off. I also liked the intro monologue, the commentary flashbacks, etc. Wolf's dialog too, you tell such a good story just with his words. The all caps screaming part from Wolf dragged on a little long and made my eyes a little sore, and I also thought it ended a bit abruptly, but overall like I said it was my favorite promo of the show.

    TJG: I like your descriptions, and I think Tristan is really good with his words. But not gonna lie this promo dragged on for me a bit. It was just a tad too long. There were also a lot of colors, some of which like the bright yellow were unreadable for me, and as a reader I honestly couldn't be assed to change my forum skin or highlight to text to read those parts. The other colors are fine, although I personally stay away from that bright cyan blue as well. With that being said I love background story, and Tristan's adoption was my favorite thing to read so far out of anyone else's promo. The bully scene was alright too, although the father's words felt a little inauthentic and weird. Maybe that's just because that's not how I would've handled that as a parent, however I know there are parents who would so it's not unrealistic. Honestly not sure if this one is enough to beat Wolf, but I thought it was solid and fun to read.

    DFB: Really basic stuff here. No color or bolding makes literally bland. Obviously you threw something together fast do like the biker bar setting, always fun. But AON's was almost identical so it'll be a battle of the rushed sloppy promos.
    Last edited by Sully; 02-24-2018 at 10:14 AM.

  6. #26
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    Re: Tag League Final 2018 Promo Discussion Thread

    Okay since I'm bored and got some hours to kill. I thought why not check out some of these promos so people can read the point of view from a newbie to FWA's perspective. New perspective is always nice.


    Hanz- Straight into the first one with Hanz Gruber okie dokie. Well first off, you made me interested to read the gruber/wolf vs galloway/Wrath because I kinda wanna find out what da hell happened. Okay the description is average. Could be better, could be worse. Small format error there with "you pointing to the camera man, you stay put" but fine. I like the relationship between Hans Gruber and Amy Duke even though it's brief in this promo because you've made her more than just a basic interviewer who would just walk away awkwardly as the cameraman stays. You've gave her a personality. That's what I can tell with just 2 lines so good on you, man. But like Sully said (And I don't agree with Sully that often.) this doesn't really feel like a proper big event promo. It does look like a standard fight night promo. Slight issues with grammar, spelling and that kind of boring stuff but other than that Dialogue is alright, classic promo vs monster with a manager dialogue. And the format is very good.


    Echo-....echo? That's your team name? Ok...I will go with it. I have seen a team call themselves "The Next Tag Team Champions" so I have seen worse. I may have been apart of that team. We ended up winning no matches and splitting after 2 months. Maybe. Okay first off reading that description for some reason made me think they were apart of the bohemian rhapsody video so that's good. Of course the no formatting thing may hurt ya a bit but the description works for what it is and even though it's short, you still sold the story to me of why the match is happening. Some lines don't make sense and maybe needed a bit more of actual explanation like the line " They see this company as a joke, just as we’ve been proclaiming it to be." I don't know, maybe it's just me. NEXT!


    Penny & Jason-....there's literally a crazy cat lady gimmick in this fed, wow. That comes with some logic problems of how is Fred not scratching Penny's eyes out whilst she's cradling him?! (also is she carrying the cat with one hand when she's running out of the pub?) I like pointing out logic flaws in promos. Anyways the description is one of the better ones and I also like to use the picture at the top to help paint the picture technique so points from me for that. I can relate to the bartender about that soccer comment. You established both characters well, no real grammar mistakes that I see from here. And i like that subtle thing at the end about Jason not fullying liking the fans yet. It's a nice touch.


    I overestimated how much time I had...I'll probably come back to this at a later time. :P
    I have been reborn.

  7. #27
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    Re: Tag League Final 2018 Promo Discussion Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by The Gipper View Post
    Okay since I'm bored and got some hours to kill. I thought why not check out some of these promos so people can read the point of view from a newbie to FWA's perspective. New perspective is always nice.


    Hanz- Straight into the first one with Hanz Gruber okie dokie. Well first off, you made me interested to read the gruber/wolf vs galloway/Wrath because I kinda wanna find out what da hell happened. Okay the description is average. Could be better, could be worse. Small format error there with "you pointing to the camera man, you stay put" but fine. I like the relationship between Hans Gruber and Amy Duke even though it's brief in this promo because you've made her more than just a basic interviewer who would just walk away awkwardly as the cameraman stays. You've gave her a personality. That's what I can tell with just 2 lines so good on you, man. But like Sully said (And I don't agree with Sully that often.) this doesn't really feel like a proper big event promo. It does look like a standard fight night promo. Slight issues with grammar, spelling and that kind of boring stuff but other than that Dialogue is alright, classic promo vs monster with a manager dialogue. And the format is very good.


    Echo-....echo? That's your team name? Ok...I will go with it. I have seen a team call themselves "The Next Tag Team Champions" so I have seen worse. I may have been apart of that team. We ended up winning no matches and splitting after 2 months. Maybe. Okay first off reading that description for some reason made me think they were apart of the bohemian rhapsody video so that's good. Of course the no formatting thing may hurt ya a bit but the description works for what it is and even though it's short, you still sold the story to me of why the match is happening. Some lines don't make sense and maybe needed a bit more of actual explanation like the line " They see this company as a joke, just as we’ve been proclaiming it to be." I don't know, maybe it's just me. NEXT!


    Penny & Jason-....there's literally a crazy cat lady gimmick in this fed, wow. That comes with some logic problems of how is Fred not scratching Penny's eyes out whilst she's cradling him?! (also is she carrying the cat with one hand when she's running out of the pub?) I like pointing out logic flaws in promos. Anyways the description is one of the better ones and I also like to use the picture at the top to help paint the picture technique so points from me for that. I can relate to the bartender about that soccer comment. You established both characters well, no real grammar mistakes that I see from here. And i like that subtle thing at the end about Jason not fullying liking the fans yet. It's a nice touch.


    I overestimated how much time I had...I'll probably come back to this at a later time. :P
    Fred is a stuffed cat.


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    IT'S THE DANISH WAY TO ROCK
    IT'S THE DANISH WAY TO ROCK


  8. #28
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    Re: Tag League Final 2018 Promo Discussion Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Oz View Post
    Fred is a stuffed cat.
    ...Did not realise that. That's awkward.
    I have been reborn.

  9. #29
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    Re: Tag League Final 2018 Promo Discussion Thread

    Yes, Fred is a stuffed cat that is loosely based off of Daryl Takahashi, Hiromu Takahashi’s stuffed cat in New Japan. It’s basically where I got the idea from but I put my own twist on it with the cat actually talking back.

    Also, personally I’m quite fond of kitties.
    Last edited by Jimmy King; 02-27-2018 at 01:48 PM.


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  10. #30
     
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    Re: Tag League Final 2018 Promo Discussion Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy King View Post
    Also, personally I’m quite fond of kitties.
    I too am a big furry pussy fan.

  11. #31
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    Re: Tag League Final 2018 Promo Discussion Thread

    Sorry I work sat sun and Mondays from like 4am to 3pm so I just did not want to no show





  12. #32
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    Re: Tag League Final 2018 Promo Discussion Thread

    Update: sorry guys. we know the show has been massively delayed but a couple of mods have run into a variety of personal issues/ailments over the past week and then some. the show is guaranteed to go up tonight.

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