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Thread: 24 November: WORLDS STRONGEST TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT - DAY 1 Promo Discussion Thread

  1. #41
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    Re: 24 November: WORLDS STRONGEST TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT - DAY 1 Promo Discussion Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Jiggy View Post
    1000Deaths, I haven't read your promo yet but major props for managing to promo from a cell phone week after week. That dedication is admirable, bruv.
    Yeah I don't see how it can be fun doing it for every promo. I wrote my on my phone for the last show, then forwarded it to my email, then copy and pasted into word to get the formatting strat- yet when I posted it here it was all screwed up.

  2. #42
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    Re: 24 November: WORLDS STRONGEST TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT - DAY 1 Promo Discussion Thread

    I think I'm actually Better at typing front the phone than laptop keyboard anyways.

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    Re: 24 November: WORLDS STRONGEST TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT - DAY 1 Promo Discussion Thread

    I type a lot for work, more comfy on the laptop. Yet I do some on the phone for convenience. .. notes and such

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    Re: 24 November: WORLDS STRONGEST TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT - DAY 1 Promo Discussion Thread



    I was just doing some work in photshop for my job- took a break and played around with stuff for here

    https://imgur.com/NozFoqx
    Last edited by hanz gruber; 11-29-2017 at 08:40 PM.

  5. #45
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    Re: 24 November: WORLDS STRONGEST TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT - DAY 1 Promo Discussion Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by hanz gruber View Post


    I was just doing some work in photshop for my job- took a break and played around with stuff for here

    https://imgur.com/NozFoqx

    dis fancyyyy~ well done! maybe a little too fast as there were some frames that went by so quick i couldnt see all the characters. reminds me that jimmy reminded me to update our roster basepics lulz. bums like kaizen have been gone for ages, gotta sweep trash like that out of our roster.

    im really glad though we have shoop adepts like you and OMAN and Wolf with us lulz. perhaps my dream FWA2K18 cover featuring Danny Toner falling into a canal will finally be brought to life soon

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    Re: 24 November: WORLDS STRONGEST TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT - DAY 1 Promo Discussion Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by KAIZEN View Post
    dis fancyyyy~ well done! maybe a little too fast as there were some frames that went by so quick i couldnt see all the characters. reminds me that jimmy reminded me to update our roster basepics lulz. bums like kaizen have been gone for ages, gotta sweep trash like that out of our roster.

    im really glad though we have shoop adepts like you and OMAN and Wolf with us lulz. perhaps my dream FWA2K18 cover featuring Danny Toner falling into a canal will finally be brought to life soon
    That's great and all but dibs on BIB graphics.


    MEWTWO'S AWESOME!! *clap clap clap clap*
    MEWTWO'S AWESOME!! *clap clap clap clap*






  7. #47
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    Re: 24 November: WORLDS STRONGEST TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT - DAY 1 Promo Discussion Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by KAIZEN View Post
    dis fancyyyy~ well done! maybe a little too fast as there were some frames that went by so quick i couldnt see all the characters. reminds me that jimmy reminded me to update our roster basepics lulz. bums like kaizen have been gone for ages, gotta sweep trash like that out of our roster.

    im really glad though we have shoop adepts like you and OMAN and Wolf with us lulz. perhaps my dream FWA2K18 cover featuring Danny Toner falling into a canal will finally be brought to life soon
    Hmmm, that with Toner seems like something fun to do. Yeah I had to add a few, Ty, Kendrick, Echo. I can adjust the framer ate . I actually had it slower

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    Re: 24 November: WORLDS STRONGEST TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT - DAY 1 Promo Discussion Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Jiggy View Post
    That's great and all but dibs on BIB graphics.
    we can have more than one right, or are you gona go all CM punk and be like WE ALL KNOW THERES ONLY ONE REAL MAIN GRAFFIK

  9. #49
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    Re: 24 November: WORLDS STRONGEST TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT - DAY 1 Promo Discussion Thread

    Hanz – I almost inexplicably loved this promo, mostly because for me it was a great leap forward in logic/character development. To see someone with Hanz tough guy gimmick have to directly confront the fact that he hasn’t been getting it done so far in the ring within his psyche was well played, and the inward focus of the tone was fitting. Now, does this mean I gave it an astronomical grade? No, because there are still some things that need to be ironed out, like maybe providing some translation for the German bits, formatting quirks (y u use periods sometimes then forget them other times lulz), and some of the dialogue still being a little ham-fisted. But overall, even though these dream sequence pieces are common in FWA, I thought you nailed the RP psychology of this promo in this moment of Hanzs FWA career. Excellent work.

    Aaron Kendrick – There are a lot of good bits in this promo, and it was on the shorter side but was still able to show off your stylish and technical writing chops in multiple instances. Youre clearly a talented writer and in the long run will go far in FWA. This promo though, was kind of stuck between stations in terms of logic, and reading through the first part of it and the ending bit, im sure you were already well aware of this even as you were writing it. Even if the crux of Kendricks introduction character to FWA is ‘a conflicted soul’, having the intro promos be upbeat face promos, then veering heel abruptly at MH, then kind of tweenin’ around in this one made for a KFC famous bowl of an RP that made me unsure whether the inconsistencies were intentional or not. In the long run, this could pay off in a really explosive way, so a wait-and-see approach isn’t a bad thing. Taken in separate segments, each individual part of this promo was good stuff. I just wasn’t sure that it mixed that well this early in the game for Kendrick. Again though, if this is the concrete setup for something bigger and better in the future then it’d be all worth it.

    Cyrus – you squashed him lulzzzzzzzzz

    The Echo – this was a solid introduction, really solid all the way through. Its almost strange to see a more traditional-style formatted promo coming out of you compared to what we usually get out of Bell and I thought it worked well. Its very clear who The Echo are based on, and I guess I would caution in the future to make sure it doesn’t turn into too much of a tribute RP lulz, but that’s a minor quibble at this point. Some of the points of attack were better than others; like I found some of the descriptions of Starr to be funny but on the "flip" side (GET IT LULZZZ) each sex joke with Izzy was less funny than the previous one. Perhaps it’s a heel tactic to annoy the shit out of a grader, but a RP format is less forgiving than Being The Elite lulz. And also, the lack of mention of how The Echo debuted at MH was disappointing. Anyhoo, overall this was a good introduction promo and gave a lot of reasons to be excited about The Echo being here.

    PAJ – this was low-key a really nice promo. Despite being the namesake of the project, PAJ himself has been lost in the shuffle a little bit in the last cycle, but this was a really good reminded that PAJ could be primed to explode again at any given moment. A lot of great elements were mixed in here: an unorthodox setting, subtle and measured use of history that wasn’t overbearing and doesn’t figure to alienate newer readers, good logic and lines of attack, and continued adherence to the gimmick premise. I guess a minor quibble I had was that some of the monologue blocks were too meandering, especially the ones in front of the children of an undetermined age. Overall though, considering the pacing constraints for the PAJ Project storyline, this was very well done.

    Deception – appreciate you getting something in with your phone mang. The setting you chose had some really serious elements that I wish you had saved to flesh out in a full promo. But in the big picture, just like Hanz earlier, I think the psychology and being able to incorporate whats happened in FWA and not just ignore it were strengths of this promo. Ill withhold a fuller review for when you promo normally as Deception but even has a quick filler, this did a lot of good in setting Deception on the right track imo.

    Bell – I had really mixed feelings about this one, and once again it had a lot of the hallmarks of Bell promos. I really liked the first part and the puppet show for some reason. Sometimes, slapstick stuff like that get me when its well done lulz. The second half though, petered off a little and there were a couple of lines of logic which didn’t work for me, yet im not sure if I should attribute this to having less info on HYPERVIBE to work with or not. There were spots which Bell came off as a little heelish and im not sure if it was intentional or not. Like for example, its weird to me that Bell would assert that other tag teams aren’t legitimate friends. How would Bell know that and why does it matter at all? Those are the type of lines of logic that should be addressed if youre gona throw em out there. The parts about Eimi were better. On a plus note, I think your presentation was better than usual lulz. Overall, this had its moments, but I actually think I liked The Echos more.

    Shannon – This one was intentionally opaque and confusing, so while I wasn’t sure how to assess it as a standalone promo, its clearly leading into something in the future so Ill withhold a deep dive until later. I thought the reverse time jump was a great idea, I actually kind of wish you had saved it for a bigger occasion. Everything else was a par the course, but somethings clearly brewing up with Shannon and Bell, and itll be exciting to see how Shannons going to keep her shit together against the other teams in Block A.

    DFB -


    mtf
    Last edited by KAIZEN; 11-30-2017 at 10:20 AM.

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    Re: 24 November: WORLDS STRONGEST TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT - DAY 1 Promo Discussion Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by KAIZEN View Post
    we can have more than one right, or are you gona go all CM punk and be like WE ALL KNOW THERES ONLY ONE REAL MAIN GRAFFIK
    You already know the answer to that.



    MEWTWO'S AWESOME!! *clap clap clap clap*
    MEWTWO'S AWESOME!! *clap clap clap clap*






  11. #51
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    Re: 24 November: WORLDS STRONGEST TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT - DAY 1 Promo Discussion Thread

    DFB – what a debut for DFB. I mean, this was an absolute blistering showcase of all the things you bring to the table, and I loved it. You sold the gimmick very well, looped in DFBs debut at MH very well, I loved how you had some shots for The Echo as well as SCV. The only thing this didn’t blow me away in was creativity, since we gotta admit, you’ve used the house show setting a few times before lulz. But holy shit, you brought serious heat with the takedown of SCV and it really felt real and raw, and very importantly, did not overstay its welcome, for what it was it was a near-perfect length. In the big picture though, what really sets it apart from other promos in this generation was that element of real-world intensity that I felt when reading through this. Great stuff~

    SCV – Heres proof that im a whore and my love is not exclusive: I loved this one too. Where DFBs was a furious hit and run, this one was extremely cerebral and systematic, but it didn’t make the big picture sell any less good. I really liked how you encompassed the whole history of SCVs run in FWA, like, every plot point that SCV has been through since joining was referenced in some way. I also really loved the low-key reveal of SCVs origin story, not so much that it was anything shocking or overly dramatic, but how you made it relevant to the promo logic. Framing DFB as simpletons also fit very well into where you were going. The one quibble I had was presentation, as the choice of black for Manson combined with the lack of other break methods made it hard to read in certain spots for me. Overall though, this was great, and was just more proof that well-done edginess doesn’t need to be over-the-top aggressive to be effective.

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    Re: 24 November: WORLDS STRONGEST TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT - DAY 1 Promo Discussion Thread



    slowed down some
    Last edited by hanz gruber; 11-30-2017 at 11:12 AM.

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    Re: 24 November: WORLDS STRONGEST TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT - DAY 1 Promo Discussion Thread



    couldn't finf a pix of Leo falling down a canal lol- so i used this one

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    Re: 24 November: WORLDS STRONGEST TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT - DAY 1 Promo Discussion Thread

    @Kai- I rarely use German in my promos as i don't want to clutter up my promo with translations into English- this one I forgot to do it. but its basically the same thing he said in the line before- that one being in English. The periods- sorry- i proof read for my job so much that i know i miss stuff here- i usually catch it when its too late. For my job- i will look at it printed out, read over it a few times, make notes, then correct them(i work for a paralegal)

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    Re: 24 November: WORLDS STRONGEST TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT - DAY 1 Promo Discussion Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by KAIZEN View Post
    Aaron Kendrick – There are a lot of good bits in this promo, and it was on the shorter side but was still able to show off your stylish and technical writing chops in multiple instances. Youre clearly a talented writer and in the long run will go far in FWA. This promo though, was kind of stuck between stations in terms of logic, and reading through the first part of it and the ending bit, im sure you were already well aware of this even as you were writing it. Even if the crux of Kendricks introduction character to FWA is ‘a conflicted soul’, having the intro promos be upbeat face promos, then veering heel abruptly at MH, then kind of tweenin’ around in this one made for a KFC famous bowl of an RP that made me unsure whether the inconsistencies were intentional or not. In the long run, this could pay off in a really explosive way, so a wait-and-see approach isn’t a bad thing. Taken in separate segments, each individual part of this promo was good stuff. I just wasn’t sure that it mixed that well this early in the game for Kendrick. Again though, if this is the concrete setup for something bigger and better in the future then it’d be all worth it.

    I appreciate all of what you said. You're spot on with what I'm going for. And I love the Famous Bowl analogy even more. Aaron Kendrick is definitely a conflicted soul and we're most definitely getting to the final stages of him finding out who he is instead of him being a heel just for the sake of being a heel. I'm giving him a little substance and showing who he is on the inside instead of just proclaiming that he's a heel.

    So because of his split personality at the moment, that's why the promos are all over the place. It's literally explaining all the different things going on in his head at the moment.

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    Re: 24 November: WORLDS STRONGEST TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT - DAY 1 Promo Discussion Thread

    Appreciate the feedback KAI, going to focus on the negative and look to improve creativity for the next outing - hands up I've used the house show setting a few times, I agree with the criticism and I'll look to improve on that for the next match in the block.
    LUCHA! LUCHA! LUCHA!


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    Re: 24 November: WORLDS STRONGEST TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT - DAY 1 Promo Discussion Thread

    I know I could have done better with my stuff this week. Starr/Izzy are taking a massive cut this week and it upsets me to have to do that. This is really poor quality compared to MH. :/

    Busy work week + creativity block/hitting the wall + college finals = I'm very unhappy rn.

    ------------------------

  18. #58

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    Re: 24 November: WORLDS STRONGEST TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT - DAY 1 Promo Discussion Thread

    Pretty much every match is done. We're just waiting on segments to be finished/sent in.





    IMPORTANT MESSAGE

    Spoiler:




    ~~ WE ARE ALL ONE~~
    Spoiler:






  19. #59
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    Re: 24 November: WORLDS STRONGEST TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT - DAY 1 Promo Discussion Thread

    Shake bruv clear your inbox


    MEWTWO'S AWESOME!! *clap clap clap clap*
    MEWTWO'S AWESOME!! *clap clap clap clap*






  20. #60
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    Re: 24 November: WORLDS STRONGEST TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT - DAY 1 Promo Discussion Thread

    You can put it in my inbox, Jiggy...

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