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Thread: Mile High 2017 Promo Discussion Thread

  1. #61
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    Re: Mile High 2017 Promo Discussion Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by 1000Deaths View Post
    Let him go already. He's mentioned in some way or another in like every other promo you do lol.
    It was a joke SB... geez.

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    Re: Mile High 2017 Promo Discussion Thread

    Aaron Kendrick: I liked the start of your promo where you established a loner coming into unfamiliar territory of being popular person surrounded by people. I got from the promo that he wants to be a hero for the kids it just comes hard for him. The second scene was more or less pointless. You have established the scene and the story in the first scene. When he was driving the car he should have started talking about the match and Gruber. You should have hyped Mile High a little bit more.

    Zako: Big fan of the character. I hope we get soon a chance for a small program together. The manager style promoing is quite lost in FWA and it is a style I like. What you can focus on is also building your opponents. If you look at last nights Paul Heyman promo he goes on to build AJ Styles as the fastest man in WWE, he goes on saying that speed kills yada, yada, yada and then he goes on saying that despite all of that Lesnar is going to tear him apart. It is something you can add to your promos. It is something I like to do. Build them up before you tear them up.

    Bell: I loved the promo since I am quite a fan of superhero genre. The creativity was of the charts I just did not like certain jokes. Nothing to add or criticize.

    Starr: This was not a super creative and entertaining promo like the one from Bell. What this was was great underdog story. It all felt like Rocky Balboa story with a lot of sugar. I want to see this guy win, I am cheering for this guy to win. It accomplished everything it was supposed to accomplish without super elaborate scenery. He is that whiter than white good guy with no chance of winning. I wanted to write at first that he feels like too much of a sob story and he needs an edge, but I love him the way he is. Keep doing what you did here.


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  3. #63
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    Re: Mile High 2017 Promo Discussion Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Wolfs Rain View Post
    Aaron Kendrick: I liked the start of your promo where you established a loner coming into unfamiliar territory of being popular person surrounded by people. I got from the promo that he wants to be a hero for the kids it just comes hard for him. The second scene was more or less pointless. You have established the scene and the story in the first scene. When he was driving the car he should have started talking about the match and Gruber. You should have hyped Mile High a little bit more.

    Zako: Big fan of the character. I hope we get soon a chance for a small program together. The manager style promoing is quite lost in FWA and it is a style I like. What you can focus on is also building your opponents. If you look at last nights Paul Heyman promo he goes on to build AJ Styles as the fastest man in WWE, he goes on saying that speed kills yada, yada, yada and then he goes on saying that despite all of that Lesnar is going to tear him apart. It is something you can add to your promos. It is something I like to do. Build them up before you tear them up.

    Bell: I loved the promo since I am quite a fan of superhero genre. The creativity was of the charts I just did not like certain jokes. Nothing to add or criticize.

    Starr: This was not a super creative and entertaining promo like the one from Bell. What this was was great underdog story. It all felt like Rocky Balboa story with a lot of sugar. I want to see this guy win, I am cheering for this guy to win. It accomplished everything it was supposed to accomplish without super elaborate scenery. He is that whiter than white good guy with no chance of winning. I wanted to write at first that he feels like too much of a sob story and he needs an edge, but I love him the way he is. Keep doing what you did here.
    Yeah I actually noticed that and I've thought of it as well, I'm definitely gonna do it from now on then. I feel it's something that could make a difference in reality and FWA as well. I read something from a friend a ways back actually about that style-it was either from Quackenbush, Meltzer, Storm or maybe even Matt Hardy, idk, but it was a bit someone said about comparing tearing down/burying the opponent to putting over/building them up. Basically "when you beat someone after burying them, you said they sucked and you won. Though when you make them look better, you in turn make yourself look better for actually overcoming a credible opponent."

    Thank you for that bit of advice btw, I've thought of what it would be like between us as well also.

  4. #64
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    Re: Mile High 2017 Promo Discussion Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Wolfs Rain View Post
    Aaron Kendrick: I liked the start of your promo where you established a loner coming into unfamiliar territory of being popular person surrounded by people. I got from the promo that he wants to be a hero for the kids it just comes hard for him. The second scene was more or less pointless. You have established the scene and the story in the first scene. When he was driving the car he should have started talking about the match and Gruber. You should have hyped Mile High a little bit more.

    Zako: Big fan of the character. I hope we get soon a chance for a small program together. The manager style promoing is quite lost in FWA and it is a style I like. What you can focus on is also building your opponents. If you look at last nights Paul Heyman promo he goes on to build AJ Styles as the fastest man in WWE, he goes on saying that speed kills yada, yada, yada and then he goes on saying that despite all of that Lesnar is going to tear him apart. It is something you can add to your promos. It is something I like to do. Build them up before you tear them up.

    Bell: I loved the promo since I am quite a fan of superhero genre. The creativity was of the charts I just did not like certain jokes. Nothing to add or criticize.

    Starr: This was not a super creative and entertaining promo like the one from Bell. What this was was great underdog story. It all felt like Rocky Balboa story with a lot of sugar. I want to see this guy win, I am cheering for this guy to win. It accomplished everything it was supposed to accomplish without super elaborate scenery. He is that whiter than white good guy with no chance of winning. I wanted to write at first that he feels like too much of a sob story and he needs an edge, but I love him the way he is. Keep doing what you did here.
    Spot on with all of them. Especially with the Zako one. All his promos are really good, but they are kind of all the same at the same time (to me at least). Little things like building the opponents up, then tearing them down as you suggest will change things up.

    I liked that Heyman promo- prob one of his best.

  5. #65
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    Re: Mile High 2017 Promo Discussion Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by hanz gruber View Post
    It was a joke SB... geez.
    Ah I know , as I was just kidding you as well lol.

    I guess Gruber has some displaced feelings about that freak's grey area relationship with his current woman!

    You know what's not a joke?

    You always telling me you were in the area after you've gone back home.

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    Re: Mile High 2017 Promo Discussion Thread

    Let's keep this on promos, guys. The rest is what PMs are for.

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    Re: Mile High 2017 Promo Discussion Thread

    Yeah though, I've done something like that for the match with Michaud based off what he's done in the FWA in the past and also a bit with James Sync as well.

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    Re: Mile High 2017 Promo Discussion Thread

    How can anyone not want Starr to win? I'm not saying he will (for the record I have said in the groupchat it's my fave promo ~altho it MIGHT not be graded the highest~) but damn it I want it. Starr, you can be proud of this effort and fuck me I hope you win.

    In saying that there are easily 3/4 promos that could win MHM.
    LUCHA! LUCHA! LUCHA!


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    Re: Mile High 2017 Promo Discussion Thread

    In a way, Starr is filling the Danny Toner void.

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    Re: Mile High 2017 Promo Discussion Thread

    That effort and thought process behind the Starr promo was pretty killer. If he wins, he's definitely gonna have some smaller underdog thing going for him.

  11. #71
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    Re: Mile High 2017 Promo Discussion Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by 1000Deaths View Post
    Ah I know , as I was just kidding you as well lol.

    I guess Gruber has some displaced feelings about that freak's grey area relationship with his current woman!

    You know what's not a joke?

    You always telling me you were in the area after you've gone back home.
    Most times I don't know I will be in Baton Rouge until a few hours before and it's rush up there, rush back. PM me your phone number, if I know I don't have to rush back we can meet up for coffee or lunch... if we ever fued here, I will touch on that a little, but not name names or anything. Other than my JJJ, I don't think I ever promoed against you, and JJJ was just a joke of a character to only put others over.


    As for the promos- I have a feeling Starr is gonna win.

    I also believe Randall is gonna win his match- my fav promo out of all I have read this week.

    The others, idk. Everybody's promos were great- though I have yet to read any posted today/this morning.
    Last edited by hanz gruber; 11-14-2017 at 07:22 PM.

  12. #72

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    Re: Mile High 2017 Promo Discussion Thread

    After grading the ME, I can say that there are a group of people in the 67-69 range. It's close.

    Should be fun to see who wins.


    Saying that, feels like Starr has a moral victory already.


    But I think Bell Connelly's promo was a huge delivery. And that comes after me skimming it and rolling my eyes at the Batman theme.
    Last edited by RainShaker; 11-14-2017 at 07:22 PM.





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  13. #73
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    Re: Mile High 2017 Promo Discussion Thread

    Since it was my first promo in a while I'd like a review


    [07:31 PM] Stonewall Dakson
    : I have a good friend that lives near Seattle. He says I should come visit sometime but that is like the exact opposite side of the country from me.
    [07:31 PM] Jon Snow
    : theyve got planes for that
    [07:31 PM] Stonewall Dakson
    : And those cost lots of money
    [07:32 PM] Jim
    : send yourself in a box without any holes with the USPS. Best case scenario, you get cheap traveling, worst case, you're gone forever
    [10:00 PM] Kairi HoHo
    : Jerk it in my honor Dak bye.
    [06:18 PM]Stonewall Dakson
    : Guys, I am going to see President Trump tomorrow.
    [06:19 PM]Stonewall Dakson
    : He's holding a rally in the town I live in. Gonna skip outta work and go.
    [06:19 PM]Stonewall Dakson
    : Not the town I live in, the town I work in.
    [06:19 PM]RecyCocks
    : You should bring TGR with you
    [06:20 PM]Stonewall Dakson
    : If I was taking a long walk off a short pier I would gladly bring TGR with me.
    [11:40 PM]
    Kairi HoHo
    : Pretty sure I said I would go gay for Ryan Gosling just saying lol.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kairi HoHo View Post
    I'll be fine Daddy.
    BS Mafia 4 Lyfe: Dakstang Dook Duke HoHo Punk Wolf CocksDynamite Creeping Death Swamps

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    Re: Mile High 2017 Promo Discussion Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by CocksyMitch View Post
    Since it was my first promo in a while I'd like a review
    Give one, lil hoe


    Quote Originally Posted by Cyrus Truth View Post
    FUCK THE NAZIS. Fuck them, the alt-right, and those white supremacy Confederate-flag wanking babies who are so angry because life's not fair and brown-skinned human beings want to sit at the table. Fuck these Tiki-torch, polo-wearing hatemongers for believing that they're any better than anybody else. And a double dose of "Fuck you" to ANYONE who buys into this garbage of a centralized "white culture" because such a thing DOES NOT EXIST NOR EVER HAS. And while anybody who punches one of these lowlifes should be punished as the law dictates, I sure as hell am not going to feel sorry for these fuckers if their lives become a series of perpetual punches. When you spew hate, what the fuck do you expect?



  15. #75
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    Re: Mile High 2017 Promo Discussion Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Jiggy View Post
    Give one, lil hoe
    Well I did compliment Sayer, that was a first


    [07:31 PM] Stonewall Dakson
    : I have a good friend that lives near Seattle. He says I should come visit sometime but that is like the exact opposite side of the country from me.
    [07:31 PM] Jon Snow
    : theyve got planes for that
    [07:31 PM] Stonewall Dakson
    : And those cost lots of money
    [07:32 PM] Jim
    : send yourself in a box without any holes with the USPS. Best case scenario, you get cheap traveling, worst case, you're gone forever
    [10:00 PM] Kairi HoHo
    : Jerk it in my honor Dak bye.
    [06:18 PM]Stonewall Dakson
    : Guys, I am going to see President Trump tomorrow.
    [06:19 PM]Stonewall Dakson
    : He's holding a rally in the town I live in. Gonna skip outta work and go.
    [06:19 PM]Stonewall Dakson
    : Not the town I live in, the town I work in.
    [06:19 PM]RecyCocks
    : You should bring TGR with you
    [06:20 PM]Stonewall Dakson
    : If I was taking a long walk off a short pier I would gladly bring TGR with me.
    [11:40 PM]
    Kairi HoHo
    : Pretty sure I said I would go gay for Ryan Gosling just saying lol.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kairi HoHo View Post
    I'll be fine Daddy.
    BS Mafia 4 Lyfe: Dakstang Dook Duke HoHo Punk Wolf CocksDynamite Creeping Death Swamps

  16. #76
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    Re: Mile High 2017 Promo Discussion Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by CocksyMitch View Post
    Since it was my first promo in a while I'd like a review
    Review

  17. #77
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    Re: Mile High 2017 Promo Discussion Thread

    Ok, a quick review. I liked it. I like that you brought up the losing streak (your promos have always been really good and was hoping to see you come back). I really liked how you used all those loses to show he kind of fell on hard times sort of. It changed your character a bit, gives you something to build upon going forward- getting back to the roll Mark was on before.

  18. #78
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    Re: Mile High 2017 Promo Discussion Thread

    I decided to review my opponents promos for the X Division match. I don't really review as I more or less talk about all the things I liked about RPs. Hooray for trying something new!


    Jimmy: I freaking love Jason and Penny's relationship. I get a kind of wholesome Joker and Harley type feel from their chemistry. This Jason promo was top notch and I love how slowly he’s descending into true madness. Fred talking to Jason made me laugh(in a good way), and I got a somewhat Matrix feel from the description of the scene and that's a hilarious scene in your head. It also made me think, “How much does Fred know about these two?” and that's insane to think about. I’d like to see more Fred/Jason interactions in the future if Jason gets crazier. Great work as always from you.


    Zako: Holy shit, coming in leaps and bounds of what I expected from you this RP period. I loved it with De La Muerta/Zako in the cage. I could see it and it’d scare the hell out of me. I liked the subtle dig at Starr in there too as it brings out the fact EVERYONE is on Zako’s radar and no one is safe if they cross him. I’ve yet to see, in my travels of fedding at least, a ruthless monster be portrayed the way you do your character. Awesome stuff and can't wait for where you go from here.


    Galloway: FUCKING MENTAL. The savagery of TJG isn't lost on me. Tore down everyone in his path. Ripped Izzy to shreds. On the flipped side of the coin, and this is my only gripe, I couldn't really tell if he's face or not. Maybe that comes from me being non-observant and missing the signs. Regardless, phenomenal work.


    I will not be surprised if I take the fall here because my promo is bollocks compared to the others.

    ------------------------

  19. #79
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    Re: Mile High 2017 Promo Discussion Thread

    Good promos overall I really dug Izzy & Jason & Penny promos aarons was pretty good as well looking foward to show havent been as active here as much as I like with work season starting

  20. #80
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    Re: Mile High 2017 Promo Discussion Thread

    Kendrick – Fundamentally, this was a well-written promo. I didn’t have any hang-ups on the coloring and i think you’ve acclimated yourself to the format well. Story-wise, this is a kind-of abrupt turn from previous Kendrick promos. It left me wondering where this sudden heel turn came from after the previous two promos being unquestionably face. It was a little bi-polar and kind of retconned the character from what I thought I knew about him and his outlook. In the long run, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing because it might turn out that Kendrick is a better heel than face. But for this show, it kind of felt like you were resetting Kendrick back to square one and the lack of build towards this sudden change of attitude hurt my assessment of it because we (the readers) weren’t given any hints or reasons why.

    WOLF – certain people mark out for certain writing styles and I must openly admit to being a mark for yours, especially your word choice. The words you choose to convey the introduction are unique and have a poetic yet biting flow, and it really set the stage for the body of the promo very very well. Generating a feeling of authenticity is a big deal for me and you did an excellent job of making WOLFs bitterness feel relatable to me, which elevated the promo as a whole. There was both pros and cons to using Lucian Ace as the foil here, but seeing as a lot of people in the current generation don’t know who Lucian Ace is, I think you should’ve held Lucian off for a more substantive return down the line, because using Lucian as a foil in this case didn’t really seem to add thaaaat much more benefit over if you had just made a character-of-the-day type. Overall though, you stranded together the three main elements of the story (WOLFs feelings, Parr being collateral, the Kazadi issue) very well and delivered in a way that really felt like a gut punch in terms of authentic, believable delivery. Very well done, one of the highest grades on the show from me.

    Zako – As was the case with WOLF, stylish word choice really helps Zakos promos stand out despite the format not really deviating from the norm. Theres gotta be a middle ground between doing stuff in front of the cam like an infomercial and beating up interviewers/burning people, you know what I mean?? But you covered the ‘big picture’ of the matchup very well and showed good command of your opponents and their respective storylines. Along with TJG, you also exploited the gimmick of the matchup very well. This was a very strong effort and was, once again, the highest grade I’ve ever given Zako.

    Thunder – I know you said in your comments that you weren’t able to go all out on this but this was a pretty solid promo nonetheless. Nothing fancy or overly creative about it, but solid and did a good job orienting everyone about how this feud came about. To be honest, it kind of felt more like a tease of how it could’ve been better if you had more time lulz. I like how Thunder didn’t dominate the conversation with blocks of text, meaning there was plenty of space for Steve to interject and point out Thunder hasn’t won a ton recently. It gave the promo a natural and authentic vibe, maybe went a little overboard ripping on Sullivan but there was enough directed at Ty Johnson as well. There are some inconsistencies in the formatting (steve/coach steve, missing periods, etc) which made me mark you down, but overall I’m very encouraged by what I see, and I hope you stick around and continue this feud with Ty.

    Bell – Hooooooooooooo boyyyyyyy where to start with this one. Lets start with the pros: this promo received the highest grade I have ever given out for the creativity section of the new scoring criteria. A lot of the batman and lego references flew over my head but I really appreciated the full-buy-in commitment to the promo premise. Your promo literally made me smile irl when I was reading the batman bits even though I don’t know shit about lego batman, and this doesn’t happen often. This concept really recaptured some of the magic of peak Bell during her womans division dominance because it was fun to read, it was just plain fun, and you brought it home well too with an authentic appeal at the end where Bell doesn’t forget her bearing as a wrestler and as a participant in Mile High. Cons: per usual, the promo was littered with formatting and grammar mistakes, which really puts a hard ceiling on how many points I can give you in that section. But my biggest gripe with this promo is the inconsistent coverage on your opponents. You cover and/or gave good takedowns of some of them well, but others for some reason barely get a mention, which kind of makes no sense since you had the wherewithal to assign each a batman character gimmick. Starr is a glaring example of this. Starr and Bell have interaction history going from the NA tourney and the go-home FN, but he barely gets any mention in this promo for some reason. PAJ is also almost non-existent in your promo. So in the end, the promo didn’t cover the ‘big picture’ of the match well and this was a major drawback for me. This promo truly was all over the place, which is par for the course of some of Bells finer promos, no? Whether it’ll be good enough as a whole to win a MHM where there will almost certainly be a new champion, I duno.

    Randall – Having Randall be the one to interact with Fred was a great idea and immediately freshens up the whole Fred concept by having different foils for different people (yes, FRED IS A PEOPLEZ). I thought this promo was solid, straight up good on all front. It covered the bases of the matchup and buildup from Randalls perspective well and I really like the analogy of the X title to Randalls ‘heart’. I like the use of Fred as a straight man in this situation, but I also think that one of the last images from the promo being Randall roughing up a stuffed animal was funny in maybe an unintended way lululz. This might have been the strongest batch of X-Division promos I have seen in years, and Randalls absolutely held his own, well done and very enjoyable~

    Starr – lemme start by saying I thought the docudrama format was a little campy, but everyone else needs to pay attention to this: if the build is good, it doesn’t matter if something is campy or nerdy or whatnot. If you patiently and correctly build a character authentically, the payoff will come off looking great, and this is an excellent example of that. Everything came together almost perfectly for Starr here. The music choices, the selection of gifs to use and where to place them, the pacing of the parts, everything elevated what word-wise is an above-average promo to a potentially title-winning package. I didn’t detect any more grammar/formatting mistakes, and you covered all your opponents well, though you didn’t really set the world on fire with your takedowns of them save for one. But as a whole, if we saw promos structured like this often, it would be eye-rolling sensory overload, but given all the groundwork you’ve laid over the months into making Starr an authentic relatable face, this was an almost-perfect crescendo or cash-in on the wave that’s been building, that you’ve been building. Was it the best promo of the year? No, not for me. Was it the most creative? Nope, there were at least two which I thought were more creative. But sometimes, timing is everything, and add that with the consistency of the writing and you got one of the best total packages on this show. Win or lose, this promo and PPV will herald Starrs arrival as a bona-fide main event babyface in FWA, and as one of the queens subjects mentioned earlier, it really feels like a moral victory already that Starr is on the cusp of the World Title despite having never held the NA or the X (to the best of my nollij). also, +100000000 for state champs usage

    BUCK – this was a pleasant surprise in how BUCK was portrayed in his first singles foray. Here I was thinking that Manson was the brains of the outfit, yet here BUCK is assertively pulling Manson out of it, and doing it eloquently as well, and Mansons surprise mirrored my own, so that’s a telltale sign that I took to the writing~ I like how the end of the promo was true to Merriweathers recent inactivity but never lost sight of the big-picture of where SCV is currently situated. Overall, a strong introduction to BUCK and how hes different from Manson, and a great teaser for when SCV finally get back into their element in the Tag League.

    Ty Johnson – you took a big gamble with the format of this promo and I think it was commendable. From my perspective, I’m not sure how well it paid off because the format made it hard to sell the actual match at the end. With the end bit, it’s almost like you resigned yourself to losing this match in favor of getting more character development in, and if that’s a decision you made, then it’s okay. I thought the body of the promo was very ham-fisted, reminiscent of movies like The Blind Side and other salvation-from-the-ghetto genre pieces. The move towards this kind of deep cut and away from the conflict that was established in Ground Zero will surely polarize people, and while that’s not a bad thing if that’s what is inspiring you at the moment, I would caution in the future to remember to mix in more elements of the wrestling/competition aspect of Tys new job as opposed to focusing too hard on mimicking the racial undertones of American life because in FWA universe terms, it’ll be veering well off track.



    more to follow
    Last edited by KAIZEN; 11-15-2017 at 09:53 AM.

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