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Thread: Fright Fest 9: Never to be Certified Fresh

  1. #161
    Jiggy's Avatar

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    Re: Fright Fest 9: Never to be Certified Fresh

    I am like one of 3 people alive who unapologetically loves Jason Takes Manhattan.


    Quote Originally Posted by Cyrus Truth View Post
    FUCK THE NAZIS. Fuck them, the alt-right, and those white supremacy Confederate-flag wanking babies who are so angry because life's not fair and brown-skinned human beings want to sit at the table. Fuck these Tiki-torch, polo-wearing hatemongers for believing that they're any better than anybody else. And a double dose of "Fuck you" to ANYONE who buys into this garbage of a centralized "white culture" because such a thing DOES NOT EXIST NOR EVER HAS. And while anybody who punches one of these lowlifes should be punished as the law dictates, I sure as hell am not going to feel sorry for these fuckers if their lives become a series of perpetual punches. When you spew hate, what the fuck do you expect?



  2. #162
    A friend in need is a pest
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    Re: Fright Fest 9: Never to be Certified Fresh

    Quote Originally Posted by Jiggy View Post
    I am like one of 3 people alive who unapologetically loves Jason Takes Manhattan.
    I don't mind Jason Takes Manhattan Vancouver


    [07:31 PM] Stonewall Dakson
    : I have a good friend that lives near Seattle. He says I should come visit sometime but that is like the exact opposite side of the country from me.
    [07:31 PM] Jon Snow
    : theyve got planes for that
    [07:31 PM] Stonewall Dakson
    : And those cost lots of money
    [07:32 PM] Jim
    : send yourself in a box without any holes with the USPS. Best case scenario, you get cheap traveling, worst case, you're gone forever
    [10:00 PM] Kairi HoHo
    : Jerk it in my honor Dak bye.
    [06:18 PM]
    Stonewall Dakson
    : Guys, I am going to see President Trump tomorrow.
    [06:19 PM]
    Stonewall Dakson
    : He's holding a rally in the town I live in. Gonna skip outta work and go.
    [06:19 PM]
    Stonewall Dakson
    : Not the town I live in, the town I work in.
    [06:19 PM]
    RecyCocks
    : You should bring TGR with you
    [06:20 PM]
    Stonewall Dakson
    : If I was taking a long walk off a short pier I would gladly bring TGR with me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Creeping Death View Post
    Btw Jiggy said I was only a 4 on a scale of 1 to Jon for being annoying so that's my resolution covered.
    BS Mafia 4 Lyfe: Dakstang Dook Duke HoHo Punk Wolf CocksDynamite Creeping Death Swamps

  3. #163
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    Re: Fright Fest 9: Never to be Certified Fresh

    I'm probably being too hard on it, it has some cool moments. I may end up raising it up above Jason X and Freddy vs Jason on my list after I rewatch everything. I'm dreading watching Jason X actually, it's the only one I don't actually even have(was going to rent it on Amazon, I picked up Freddy vs Jason, the 2009 one and Jason Goes to Hell on sale for $1 a piece over the Summer). My thing with Jason Takes Manhattan is that I just felt like it could have been so much better. Would have been a good time for Jason to take a trip to the hood, at Christmas time!
    Last edited by ShinobiMusashi; 10-11-2017 at 10:51 PM.

  4. #164
    Jim's Avatar

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    Re: Fright Fest 9: Never to be Certified Fresh

    Day #12
    Title: Hostel
    Country: United States/Germany/Czech Republic/Slovakia/Iceland
    Year: 2005
    Director: Eli Roth




    A trio of friends backpacking in Europe gets the tip that Slovakia is the place to go if you really want to party and have a killer time.


    I first saw Hosel when it originally came out in theaters in early 2006 with some old college roommates. At the time, I loved it. It was gory, gritty, and didn’t hold back in its sickness. At the time, I was really wanting to see gritty films again that pushed the limits of what was acceptable after so many years of over sensitized horror that lacked the edge that horror used to have. Prior to Hostel, there were small examples of horror going in that direction with the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, the original Saw, and the previous year’s The Devil’s Rejects. Although I’d assume that most credits the Saw series as being responsible for a new fad in horror that would become known as “Torture porn”, I personally credit the success of Hostel. This is namely because while Saw and even Saw II had some nasty looking traps, it also relied on the mystery of who was the kidnapper in the original film and the eventual creation of the traditional big reveal at the end of every Saw film. When it came to Hostel though, it was all about the torture, baby!

    Looking back, it’s easy to dismiss Hostel as being an onenote movie, which perhaps it is, but it does that one note so well. This is helped by the fact that the first half is dedicated to creating such a party movie atmosphere that reminded me of films such as American Pie, Eurotrip, and the other popular raunchy teen comedies that had become a mainstream hit a few years prior. The raunchiness of the first half of Hostel lulls the viewer into a false sense of security. Sure, you may be watching a horror movie, but it’s a horror movie that appears to be more concerned with drugs, nudity, and partying. How bad can the horror elements really be? Once the kidnappings officially starts, the viewer is in for a harsh reality check as everything is going to be far more graphic than they could have ever imagined.

    And yet, there are still creative elements thrown in along the way. The humor is never completely lost. I still have fond memories of my roommate and me laughing at the sick scene of a businessman talking to Paxton about the anticipation and excitement that he feels moments before he’s able to officially begin torturing some poor victim, that is later to be revealed as Kana, someone Paxton had met earlier in the film. Even today with this most recent watch of Hostel, I found myself laughing at this businessman and loving him because he’s just so gosh darn psyched for everything. How can the viewer not let out some awkward laughter when the excitement this guy is feeling is for something so sick and depraved? In addition, there’s a fun gag involving Paxton, believed to be dead, being transported on a cart with other bodies, but the cart gets stopped when it can’t run over a cut off hand. Again, it’s sick, but it’s in some weird way funny. There’s also some fun scenes with a child-based gang that is constantly looking to steal or threaten their way into attaining possessions. Their final appearance, crushing the skulls of some of the Hound guards, in a scene where I can only describe as, “Oddly comical”.

    The other main creative element thrown in is that for the first half of the film, the main character is Paxton’s buddy, Josh, not Paxton. Paxton is the character who seems more reckless in his willingness to just have fun while Josh has the bigger heart and appears to be the more traditionally sweet guy. In a move comparable to Janet Leigh dying in Psycho, Josh doesn’t even make it to the halfway point and from then on, it’s up to Paxton to be the film’s sole proganoist. Over the course of the film, the viewer watches as Paxton becomes more compassionate and caring for others, as he is launched into the unsuspecting hero of Hostel.

    Watching Hostel with 2017 eyes, it can feel dated in being insensitive. There’s a lot of homophobic slurs thrown around casually, which can be particularly awkward since this came out just before this PC movement started to properly get going, resulting in far less gay slurs being uttered. I know that a lot of viewers are also uncomfortable with the xenophobia, which was only made worse by Eli Roth’s subsequent film, The Green Inferno, once again teaching audiences that foreign people = scary. Is Hostel insensitive? Perhaps, but I don’t believe that this was meant to be taken seriously. Roth set out to make a party based movie that took a sudden turn and attempted to show its viewers as much gratuitous gore, violence, and nudity as possible. This film isn’t designed to be subtle. It’s in your face with everything it is set out to be. I do also think that this lack of class makes Hostel more ideal for teenage horror fans than older horror fans.

    Since I am re-watching this in 2017, the film doesn’t hold much appeal to me anymore. For starters, while it may be extremely early on in the torture porn sub-genre, that's a sub-genre that became the fad in horror, oversaturated the genre, and eventually fell out of favor. So while Hostel truly is a historic horror film, the graphicness should no longer shock horror fans. Since the film is no longer shocking, the fact that the story is so thin in favor of style over substance, I was left a bit bored in the second half when all of the torture was happening. Luckily, Hostel isn’t the original Martyrs, so time is devoted at the end to show Paxton getting revenge on all of those that played a part in conning himself and his friends to be killed or at least tortured. It’s a bit rewarding, but it also feels forced. Rather than hunt down those who played a part in the con, Paxton somehow stumbled onto all of them. That’s quite a plot contrivance.

    Overall, there’s no denying that Hostel isn’t an important film in horror history. Viewers can call it a sick film that lacks any sort of charm, but Hostel played a significant role in creating a popular fad in horror. I don’t believe it holds up too well with modern eyes, but I do find myself oddly appreciating the movie. Perhaps I’m a troubled person or I have a sick sense of humor, but I still find the uncomfortable comedy scenes, such as with the businessman, to be the highlights of Hostel. It’s well worth watching at least once, but I wouldn’t fault anyone for not having any desire to watch it an additional time.

    Grade: B

    Fright in Motion:

    Spoiler:


    ---

    Coming up next, one of the most anticipated horror movies of the year, ho ho ho.

  5. #165
    Crotchety Old SMOD

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    Re: Fright Fest 9: Never to be Certified Fresh

    Having not seen it in years, the two things I remember most about Hostel are the way it lulls you into a false sense of security with the Euro Trip stuff before the killing begins and the Takashi Miike cameo. I've never had the desire to go back and re-watch it and, tbh, the review didn't really make me want to do so either. I just don't think this particular style of horror is really my thing anymore.

    As for tomorrow's review, I'll go with Better Watch Out since I know you're covering it and it's set during Christmas, hence the "ho ho ho" reference.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Swamps
    Get out and kick their ass! Even if its Grandma!







  6. #166
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    Re: Fright Fest 9: Never to be Certified Fresh

    Quote Originally Posted by Fuji Vice View Post
    Having not seen it in years, the two things I remember most about Hostel are the way it lulls you into a false sense of security with the Euro Trip stuff before the killing begins and the Takashi Miike cameo.
    So that was Takashi Miike? This latest watch was the only time that short scene with Paxton asking the Japanese guy about what it's like stood out for me as such an odd scene. It was so unnecessary to focus so much on a character that is otherwise never seen again, that it had to have been a cameo from someone. The first person I thought of was Miike thanks to the sunglasses, but I haven't seen enough pictures of him to be able to confidently say that it was him.

  7. #167
    Crotchety Old SMOD

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    Re: Fright Fest 9: Never to be Certified Fresh

    Yep, that was him and I think his line about spending all your money in there was pretty perfect.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Swamps
    Get out and kick their ass! Even if its Grandma!







  8. #168
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    Re: Fright Fest 9: Never to be Certified Fresh

    Day #13
    Title: Better Watch Out
    Country: United States/Australia
    Year: 2017
    Director: Chris Peckover




    Teenage babysitter, Ashley, heads off to babysit for a kid she's watched for many years, but on this Christmas season night, someone has some sinister plans in store for her.


    When it comes to 2017 horror, there’s been a handful of movies I’ve been really excited about at one time or another. At the start of the year, it was Get Out. Later on in the year, it was movies such as It Comes At Night, Cult of Chucky, and even The Ice Cream Truck. However, the movie I’ve been anticipating the longest has been Better Watch Out or as it was titled last year during it’s festival run, Safe Neighborhood. A horror movie set on Christmas and starring the two siblings from The Visit? Sounds awesome. After such a long wait, there was some fear that perhaps the film would be built up too much in my head and would ultimately become a disappointment. Much to my happiness, not only did Better Watch Out live up to the expectations, it exceeded them.

    Despite being psyched for Better Watch Out for a solid year, I knew virtually nothing about it beforehand. I knew that the Visit siblings, Olivia DeJonge and Ed Oxenbould, were the two stars (Which was slightly wrong since Oxenbould played the role of the best friend of the main male star). It was obviously set around Christmas time with a break-in, of some sorts, creating the main turmoil for the film. The early going is enjoyable, but slightly underwhelming as twelve year old, Luke, is desperately trying to woo his five years older babysitter, Ashley (DeJonge) prior to the break-in disturbance. Luke’s attempts to set the mood are cringey to say the least. With each attempt, it gets more and more awkward to watch while at the same time, it’s very innocent and realistic to some extent. It’s relatable to have that early crush when you have zero chance with her. The break-in with the masked intruder created some effective tension scenes as Ashley and Luke attempt to avoid being caught, but ultimately I felt the film was shaping up to be a bit too repetitive with the duo constantly having to sneak around and Luke trying to prove to Ashley that he can be the man that will save her. Due to the age difference, you know they won’t get together, so I was unsure of where they could possibly go with the story to keep it fresh. Where they went is where the massive spoilers begin. If you haven’t seen the film yet, I greatly recommend you watch it first.

    Around the thirty minute mark, the truth gets revealed about the break-in and Ashley realizes that it was just some horrible con by Luke and his buddy, Garrett, to try and cause Ashley to swoon over Luke saving the day. In Ashley’s ranting at Luke, Ashley and the audience are shocked by Luke pistol whipping Ashley to kick off the real story of the film - Luke’s disturbing plan to hold Ashley hostage. This plot twist goes down as one of my favorite plot twists in recent memory. It’s completely unexpected and it helps set the tone for the rest of the film - the film has many surprises in store for its viewers. Suddenly, Luke’s cringiness becomes an amazing performance by actor, Levi Miller. Considering the fact that Miller was likely only thirteen years old at the time of filming this movie, he does a wonderful job at going back and forth between being a sociopathic freak to having child-like freakouts.

    That tightrope act between the film having an innocence while also being perverse continues throughout the movie. As Ashley’s boyfriend, Ricky, and her ex boyfriend, Jeremy, are introduced to the story, Luke is able to really explore this balancing act. Sometimes he’ll threaten to force Ashley to do something sick while then immediately admitting that he’s just joking. What makes Luke so scary is that you know he’s mentally unhinged, but you never know where the line is for him. How far will Luke go before his parents get home from their date? This balancing act also extends to the violence. At times, Better Watch Out is a rather violent movie, but we’re rarely shown anything too graphic. One such death scene involving a paintcan can be frustrating due to seeing so little, but ultimately the lack of shown gore is made satisfactory due to the fact that it lulls you into a false sense of security. If the film isn’t going to show any proper gore, then clearly it won’t take anything else too far either, right? Yet, the film does go farther than I expected, especially when it came to the deaths. The death of Garrett was particularly heartbroken as he’s shot by Luke for daring to kiss Ashley. With his final breaths, Garrett utters his last words of, “I want my mom” when suddenly Luke fires the second and final shot into his best friend, killing him suddenly and shockingly. Just as surprising, was Luke choosing to cut Ashley’s throat when it seemed so likely to me that she’d be the survivor, standing tall over a defeated Luke. For a film that enjoys being child like at times, it also has the balls to take things to the edge. It’s a great mixture of innocence and intensity.

    I ended up enjoying Better Watch Out so much that I watched it an additional time that same day. The film has great replay value because now the viewer is watching the opening thirty minutes with the knowledge of who Luke truly is. Suddenly Luke’s carefree longing of Ashley or his resting of his head on Ashley’s shoulder while watching a horror movie comes across as creepy. There’s also a lot of set ups for future moments. For example, why watching the horror movie, Ashley screams at the TV while the movie characters are avoiding the killer by going to the attic as being a stupid move. Yet, Ashley and Luke did the same exact thing once the “Intruder” broke in. Immediately after catching on to the fake intruder, Ashley dismisses Luke’s sad attempts at trying to impress her with being brave as a way to try and get to second base. Yet, even though it was nonconsensual, Luke’s master plan did lead to him coping a feel. A second watch also makes it easier to realize how Luke and Garrett set up all of their tricks to make the break-in look realistic, which I have to applaud the writers for finding a way for characters to stumble onto the contraptions, which allows the viewers to realize what had happened rather than an unnecessary scene where Luke reveals all with an extended monologue. Not only is Better Watch Out an entertaining film with plenty of surprises, but its script is careful to ensure there’s as few plot holes as possible.

    Overall, Better Watch Out is one of the highlights for 2017 horror. The basic premise is interesting enough, but the massive plot twist to kick off the second act makes it something truly special. I was constantly unsure what would happen next with the film surprising me as late in the film as the very ending. There’s great tension at points while its young stars all shine, particularly Levi Miller. Luke becomes such a grating character that I kept wanting to see someone smack Luke like Tyrion Lannister slapping Joffrey.

    Grade: A

    Fright in Motion:

    Spoiler:


    ---

    Coming up next, it's another Tales from the Crypt Saturday!

  9. #169
    Crotchety Old SMOD

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    Re: Fright Fest 9: Never to be Certified Fresh

    I was wondering if the re-watch value with the advance knowledge of Luke's character traits would make the movie better so I'm glad that's most likely the case. While I didn't love it quite as much as you did I found it to be a solid movie that definitely saved itself with the big second act twist. In regards to the twists themselves, I had pretty much figured out that the home invasion was an elaborate attempt to get the Ashley to like Luke but I certainly didn't see the second one coming. Like you, I was getting a little bored by that point so it's definitely a welcome shift in tone. I loved the twist at the end too because I was concerned the little shit was going to get away with it.

    Speaking of the little shit, I thought Levi Miller was a little over the top with the role but it fit the character so perfectly that I can find no fault in him doing so. In normal circumstances I think I would have preferred a more subdued take on the character but since Better Watch Out was clearly going for a more comedic aspect it turned out fine. His performance really does make the film that much better as a lesser actor wouldn't have been able to command each scene as well as he did. DeJonge was also really good even though she was doing a more by the numbers performance. I did find myself sympathizing with her quite a bit from the second act onward but I wonder whether that had more to do with how insane Luke was than her likeability.

    One more comment about the little shit and I swear I'll stop saying it. I loved, loved, loved the ending because I really thought the little shit was going to get away with it. The final moment gave me a brief moment of satisfaction that he wouldn't and then the damn post credits scene had to go and leave just a hint of doubt. At first I wondered whether they'd attempt to make a sequel given Luke's comments about going to the hospital but I think that would be an extremely tough movie to make. Then again, the prospect of Luke attempting to finish the job while in a hospital occupied with people conjures up obvious thoughts of Halloween 2 and the potential to make a better movie than that. While it would be funny to see Luke have to deal with the hospital staff and patients while still trying to take out the only person who can finger him, I'm leaning towards hoping it doesn't happen. I'd much prefer this to remain a stand alone movie and forget that post credits scene existed.

    One other thing I wanted to mention was that, unlike you, I wasn't aware this movie existed until you mentioned you watched it last week. I'm glad I didn't read any of the hype for it beforehand because I think I would have been a little let down.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Swamps
    Get out and kick their ass! Even if its Grandma!







  10. #170
    Jim's Avatar

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    Re: Fright Fest 9: Never to be Certified Fresh

    Regarding the possibility of a sequel, much like Trick 'r Treat, a part of me is hoping Better Watch Out receives a sequel if for no other reason than to rectify the injustice of it not having a proper wide release theatrical run.

    I can't imagine the story continuing with Ashley though. What seems more likely is another movie with Luke where he once again manipulates and mentally tortures a target. It is pretty rewarding having such a solid standalone original film, so it would be great if it could remain a solo film.

  11. #171
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    Re: Fright Fest 9: Never to be Certified Fresh

    Day #14
    Title: Vault of Horror
    Country: United Kingdom
    Year: 1973
    Director: Roy Ward Baker




    After five men get trapped in the basement of a large building, they decide to share with their reoccurring nightmares with each other to pass the time until they can get out.


    After enjoying watching the original Tales from the Crypt film from 1972, it caused me to have interest in the Amicus Productions follow-up anthology film, Vault of Horror. Like Tales from the Crypt, Vault of Horror was another EC horror comic from the 1950s. In fact, one of my favorite episodes of the Tales from the Crypt television show and segments from the original ‘72 movie, “And All Through the House…” was originally taken from a Vault of Horror comic. Like Tales from the Crypt, Vault of Horror presents a very simple wraparound story to allow five unwitting guests to share personal stories, or in this case previous nightmares, to each other. It is interesting to note that while Tales from the Crypt did feature one Vault of Horror story, the actual Vault of Horror film does not contain a single story that was originally featured in the Vault of Horror comic series. It’s no wonder why one of the alternate titles for Vault of Horror is simply “Tales from the Crypt II”. Another oddity is that Vault of Horror is missing a host of any kind. Where’s the Vault-Keeper?

    In the first story, “Midnight Mess” a mysterious man, Harold, has paid a private investigator to find a woman. After learning of her address, Harold kills his private investigator before going to the new hometown of the woman, whom we learn is actually his sister. Once Harold arrives, he gets a general idea that there’s something off about the town and how the normal residents are afraid to be out at night because that’s when THEY come out. Admittedly, the big twist ending of this segment is entirely predictable once it begins to be hinted at, but it only adds anticipation to the eventual arrival of the vampires. This is a Tales from the Crypt story that felt as if it could have been extended into a featured length film if they wished. It’s a great start to the film and although it’s easy to predict the town is overflooded with vampires, Harold manages to keep you guessing what he’ll do next.

    The second story of the film, “The Neat Job” is my favorite short of the entire movie. The ironic thing is it’s not a scary story at all. It’s all about a rich older man, Arthur, who has a severe case of OCD and needs his house to not only be spotless, but for everything to be in its place. Arthur’s perfect life gets disrupted as he gets married and his new wife is just not capable of keeping everything in its place. Arthur has several meltdowns in the segment, freaking out over every little thing including when his wife rearranges the furniture. As the story unfolds, we witness a classic comedy skit as Arthur’s wife does one little thing wrong (Leaves a ring on the coffee table from not using a coaster) and subsequently creates a giant mess from trying to fix all of the new problems she unintentionally creates. This is a really relatable story for me because there’s been many times where I’ve tried to fix something small, but it’s a snowball effect with several bigger problems being created as a result. This fun segment would have been the one I would have most liked to have seen featured on the Tales from the Crypt television show. Although it never was, it did remind me of the episode, "Collection Completed" from season 1. A highly entertaining segment, especially if you’ve ever been in a relationship with someone who had some strict OCD-like attitudes towards organization.

    The next two segments lose some of the fun for me. In, "This Trick’ll Kill You", a magician in India would stop at nothing, including murder, in order to obtain a seemingly magical rope that would become the star attraction of his magical act. The problem is it’s a story about a magic rope. Although I liked the basic idea of a man killing in order to gain possession of the very thing that ends up killing him in return, I can’t get beyond the fact that the object in question in this short is a magical rope. Ropes are boring, yo. The fourth segment, "Bargain in Death" is a bit peculiar in that it felt a lot shorter than the other segments and there’s a lot of comedy. It stars Maitland, a down on his luck horror fiction writer, choosing to fake his death, with the help of his friend, in order to scam his insurance company. Yet Maitland’s plan goes south not realizing that his friend is plotting to leave Maitland buried alive to keep all of the insurance money himself and a pair of struggling medical students deciding to pay a guy to dig Maitland up in order to use his believed corpse to practice their anatomy. It’s a wacky story and with so many questionable scoundrels in it, it didn’t seem as if any of them deserved a happy ending. I did like the ultimate conclusion with Maitland, even if it was a little predictable. Still this segment felt as if it was all over the place rather than being a more simple story.

    Finally, the fifth and final segment was, “Drawn and Quartered” and it ends the film on a high note. In it, painter, Moore, is feeling as if his work will never be respected as he has given up hope in ever making money. He then learns that his artwork is actually quite popular and worth a lot of money. Realizing that he’s been lied to and scammed by three men he trusted, Moore uses Haitian voodoo in order to turn his paintings into reality. From there, we’re shown some fun scenes where Moore takes the time to make beautiful paintings featuring the three men who did him wrong and then Moore took the time to figure out the proper punishments for them. My favorite of the pieces of revenge dealt with the man Moore wished to never handle artwork ever again. Unfortunately, the ending to this segment is the weakest part. Since the story can’t just end with Moore getting away with getting revenge without being punished himself, the story throws together a series of events that causes Moore’s own demise, without explaining what’s actually happening. A little bit of internal monologue for narration would have went a long way in improving this ending to make things clearer.

    If I had to rank these stories, I’d go with:

    The Neat Job
    Drawn and Quartered
    Midnight Mess
    Bargain in Death
    This Trick’ll Kill You

    Overall, I went into Vault of Horror hoping for another film like Tales from the Crypt and I got what I wanted. I’m really enjoying the style of these old British Amicus anthology films. There’s certainly similarities between these movies and the Tales from the Crypt television show, but you’re also getting something different with these movies. Like any anthology film, some of the segments aren’t going to be a hit, although I can’t say I disliked any of these. Even my least favorite segment, “This Trick’ll Kill You” is only my least favorite because I wasn’t a fan of the magical object that was chosen. If you enjoy the old British style horror from this time period, whether it’s Hammer or these Amicus anthology films, Vault of Horror is another must-see movie.

    Grade: B

    Fright in Motion:

    Spoiler:


    ---

    Coming up later today, Tales from the Crypt Saturdays continue with a bonus review of an episode of the series!

  12. #172
    Crotchety Old SMOD

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    Re: Fright Fest 9: Never to be Certified Fresh

    As much as I love Curt Jurgens I have no trouble saying that This Trick'll Kill You is the worst segment in the movie. Not only is the rope boring, the whole story is just terribly bland and I found myself not caring about it at all. The only real interesting thing about it is that, aside from Jurgens, it also featured another actor who would go on to play a character in a James Bond film. The guy who he busts for faking the magic trick at the beginning is the dude sleeping on the needle bed in Octopussy.

    I'm a big fan of Drawn and Quartered because Tom Baker has always been my favourite Doctor Who and it was nice to see him in a different role. I also felt the story was strong even though the ending got a little convoluted. The sequence you mentioned with the art handler guy is definitely among the highlights of the film.

    On the subject of The Neat Job, it was the segment I most wanted to see someone get their comeuppance so I was very satisfied with the ending. The OCD dude was such an asshole that I could totally empathize with his wife's predicament. I probably wouldn't have gone quite as far as she did in dealing with it but at the same time I really can't blame her.


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    Re: Fright Fest 9: Never to be Certified Fresh

    Quote Originally Posted by Fuji Vice View Post
    As much as I love Curt Jurgens I have no trouble saying that This Trick'll Kill You is the worst segment in the movie. Not only is the rope boring, the whole story is just terribly bland and I found myself not caring about it at all.
    I'm thinking it would have worked better as a story, even moreso than a comic. Allow the viewer to use their imagination to picture what the rope would look like rather than showing it on screen. Actually seeing it didn't help the plot at all, it just made it all feel sillier than it already was.

    On the subject of The Neat Job, it was the segment I most wanted to see someone get their comeuppance so I was very satisfied with the ending. The OCD dude was such an asshole that I could totally empathize with his wife's predicament. I probably wouldn't have gone quite as far as she did in dealing with it but at the same time I really can't blame her.
    One thing that's kind of funny about The Neat Job is when the wife is first brought up, everyone is quick to talk about her age. Acting as if everyone knows her best from a few years ago when she was a kid and now this old dude is married to a woman that is at least half his age. When we finally see her, she's played by an actress well into her 50s.

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    Re: Fright Fest 9: Never to be Certified Fresh

    Quote Originally Posted by Jim View Post
    I'm thinking it would have worked better as a story, even moreso than a comic. Allow the viewer to use their imagination to picture what the rope would look like rather than showing it on screen. Actually seeing it didn't help the plot at all, it just made it all feel sillier than it already was.
    Yeah, the effect was pretty terrible but I could imagine the story would work well around a campfire. Having seen it a couple of times, I have to wonder whether the segment was meant to be funny rather than scary. At the very least it'd give the writers an excuse for the way it turned out.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jim
    One thing that's kind of funny about The Neat Job is when the wife is first brought up, everyone is quick to talk about her age. Acting as if everyone knows her best from a few years ago when she was a kid and now this old dude is married to a woman that is at least half his age. When we finally see her, she's played by an actress well into her 50s.
    Kind of makes you wonder exactly how old this guy is supposed to be.

    One thing I liked more in this one was the wraparound segment. While it still didn't have an actual story to it, I enjoyed the quick interactions between the principle actors and it all wrapped up neatly at the end.


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    Re: Fright Fest 9: Never to be Certified Fresh

    Tales from the Crypt
    Title: Split Second
    Season: 3/Episode: 11
    Director: Russell Mulcahy


    Split Second is one of the more fun episodes of Tales from the Crypt. It features a bored and broke barmaid, Liz, in the northwest in an area populated nearly entirely by a longing camp. There’s very little to do, leaving everyone bored and tightly-wound. Liz, always looking for some way to add excitement to her life, decides to accept the sudden marriage proposal from Steve, the leader of the lumber camp, on the very night that they meet after Steve saves Liz from a handsy bar patron. The life as a housewife quickly bores Liz partially due to Steve’s jealousy, leading her to lust after Steve’s newest lumberjack, the hunky Ted. Although Ted, the perpetual good guy, tries hard to avoid the strong advances by his boss’ wife, eventually temptation gives way as Ted and Liz enjoy some brief lovemaking before Steve catches them, attacking Ted, leaving him blinded. Since this is Tales from the Crypt, the wicked can not get away with their crimes and both Liz and Steve are punished accordingly in one of the more fun twist reveals in a Tales from the Crypt episode.

    Part of the appeal of this episode is that the two biggest villains of the episode, Liz and Steve, are two completely different heels. I consider Liz to be the worst of the two. Steve is driven by his poor temper and jealousy. It doesn’t excuse anything he does, including going crazy and attacking one of his lumberjacks out of the belief that he made a joke about his wife, even though he hadn’t. You could argue though that Steve is just a very insecure man who desperately needs an outlet for those insecurities. Liz, on the other hand, is completely in control of her actions. She doesn’t love nor respect Steve. Admittedly, Steve clearly doesn’t love Liz either. They had literally gotten married just after meeting. Those feelings of possession should not be confused for love. But for Liz, she doesn’t care about anyone except for herself. She’ll do anything for a bit of excitement, even if it means betraying those she’s supposed to be close with. Her true colors are shown after Steve catches her and Ted together and she immediately claims Ted forced her in order to avoid any anger from her husband. What a bitch.

    Then there’s Ted. I like Ted. He might be a Keanu Reeves wannabe, but he has a good heart. He tries so hard to stay out of trouble and avoid banging the boss’ wife, but it’s hard to blame the guy. He’s apparently single, he’s barely been working at the lumber camp, so it’s not as if he’s got much loyalty to Steve. Although he is punished for his indiscretion by being blinded, I love the fact that he’s unaware that he’s achieving revenge by Leatherfacing Steve and Liz to death. He gets his revenge, but he also retains his innocence. In addition, the conclusion of the episode allows the other lumberjacks to get their revenge on Steve while also showcasing the biggest issue facing everyone in this episode - boredom. Looking back, one scene earlier in the episode stands out as being so important. After Steve marries Liz, the lumberjacks are hoping that it means that they can have women over themselves, only for Steve to deny their request, citing that it would only cause problems. Maybe, just maybe, if Steve had allowed his workers to have a life outside of cutting up wood and drinking at the local dive bar, maybe they would have been too busy having relationships to bother setting up the death of Steve and his wife, partially to create a bit of excitement at camp.

    Overall, Split Second is a great episode and after my original disappointment for Lower Berth, this episode helps restore some fun in the Tales from the Crypt television show. Nearly every episode of Tales from the Crypt is reliant on setting up a truly dislikable person while causing the viewers to look forward to their demise. Split Second offers not one, but true villains that is so easy to hate.

    Grade: A

    Fright in Motion:

    Spoiler:


    ---

    Coming up next, Jim gets traumatized for life after watching a German film. WTF Did I just watch?

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    Re: Fright Fest 9: Never to be Certified Fresh

    Been a little while since I commented but have been checking in every day for your reviews Jim. Was thrilled that you kicked things off with the Thing. Hands down one of my personal favorite horror movies. Definitely agree with you about the ending being super dark no matter the out come. Which is kinda refreshing now looking back when a lot of films offer this glimmer of hope instead. It comes at night is a film I've wanted to see for a while and going by your review. It is definitely one I need to see. So I will get round to that soon hopefully. Can't deny never been overly big on Childs play as others have but out of all the films the second one was my favorite. The Air pump was great haha. Another film I was hoping to see this year was Leatherface. But you as well as a few others have all very much said similar things about the movie and how bad it is. It's something I may still check out but the desire definitely is long gone. Like yourself loved Hostel when it first came out. Now definitely not as big on it as I was. Definitely in agreement this was the dawn of torture porn. Meant to ask about a movie previously. Not so much a request now but if you have seen it what did you reckon on the movie creep? the 2014 found footage film not the incredibly dire 2004 film.





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    Re: Fright Fest 9: Never to be Certified Fresh

    Quote Originally Posted by Shade View Post
    Been a little while since I commented but have been checking in every day for your reviews Jim. Was thrilled that you kicked things off with the Thing. Hands down one of my personal favorite horror movies. Definitely agree with you about the ending being super dark no matter the out come. Which is kinda refreshing now looking back when a lot of films offer this glimmer of hope instead. It comes at night is a film I've wanted to see for a while and going by your review. It is definitely one I need to see. So I will get round to that soon hopefully. Can't deny never been overly big on Childs play as others have but out of all the films the second one was my favorite. The Air pump was great haha. Another film I was hoping to see this year was Leatherface. But you as well as a few others have all very much said similar things about the movie and how bad it is. It's something I may still check out but the desire definitely is long gone. Like yourself loved Hostel when it first came out. Now definitely not as big on it as I was. Definitely in agreement this was the dawn of torture porn. Meant to ask about a movie previously. Not so much a request now but if you have seen it what did you reckon on the movie creep? the 2014 found footage film not the incredibly dire 2004 film.
    Glad you're enjoying these reviews. For the past two (Maybe three?) years, Creep has been requested. I won't say it's a definite until I watch it, but the release of Creep 2 in late October is going to play the biggest role in me wanting to re-watch the original Creep. Don't hold your breath, but I'm thinking the final week of Fright Fest will have some Creep action with at least a review of the original and possibly a full review or a shorter bonus review of Creep 2 thrown in too after it comes out on October 24th.

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    Re: Fright Fest 9: Never to be Certified Fresh

    I'm a huge fan of Split Second. It was one of the first Crypt episodes I saw and loved it.

    Totally agree on Ted being a Keanu Reeves wannabe. Lol

    Great ending. It's one of my fav endings.

    I recently rewatched it and thought it was as great as the first time I watched it.

    I'm looking forward to your Demon Night review. Me and my friends went and saw that in the theater and loved every second of it.

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    Re: Fright Fest 9: Never to be Certified Fresh

    Day #15
    Title: Nekromantik
    Country: West Germany
    Year: 1987
    Director: Jörg Buttgereit




    A German man tries to keep his freaky girlfriend happy with a corpse, but after he's fired, he loses the girl, the corpse, and all of the fun in his life.


    I had only became aware of the bizarre Nekromantik last year when a friend began describing a fantastical film featuring a guy who tries to give his girlfriend the gift of a corpse for her sexual pleasure, but the girlfriend ends up preferring the corpse to the living and breathing boyfriend. With that sort of description, how could I not want to check that out? It sounded utterly insane! When I was younger, I used to enjoy trying to push my limits of what sort of extreme horror I could handle. I started easy with Wes Craven’s The Last House on the Left. That led me to checking out I Spit on Your Grave. It all built up to me making the mistake in watching Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom. To this day, Salò is still one of the most impactful movies I have ever watched. I attribute it as the reason why I’ve given up on needing to try and push myself into watching extreme movies too often. Nekromantik is certainly an extreme movie, but it’s so outlandish that it’s more gross than actually difficult to watch.

    The format of the film is pretty unique in its amatuer style. The narrative is pretty thin and it relies on a series of vignettes to string one unusual scene to the next gross out scene. There’s times when you’re not even sure why a certain scene is taking place as it doesn’t appear to have anything to do with the main story involving the fetish-based couple. Some of the vignettes are even silent short movies with just a song playing over the top of the quiet scene. There’s dream sequences and even a portion that takes place in a movie theater, showing an extended clip of a laughable slasher movie.

    Although Robert is a sick individual, I actually found myself feeling sympathetic towards him. He’s a character that doesn’t have a lot going for himself in life, but everything important to him is taken away from him in a very short manner of time. First, he’s fired from his job, a street sweeper who cleans up after deaths, which means he no longer has a means to add body parts to his fetish collection. Second, losing the job caused his awful girlfriend, Betty, to leave him, taking the new corpse with her. So there goes the love of his life and the one person on this planet that he can be his real self around. Third, with all that he lost, he became completely important, not even able to find pleasure in things that used to bring him joy. Robert is sick, but he becomes such a pathetic and depressing character that I felt for him. The final scene of the film is bittersweet as Robert no longer has realized that he no longer has a reason to live, committing violent suicide in his home. In an unique twist, thanks to Robert’s fetish for all things dead, he finds ultimate uhhh “Pleasure” in killing himself. I guess the film ends on a high note since Robert died embracing what he loved the most.

    Despite being very amateurish, there did seem to be a potential message or theme buried beneath the filth of the scenes. It all has to do with the idea that one becomes desensitized by violence if we’re exposed to too much of it. The scene in the movie theater spotlights this in both a normal and abnormal way. The way most people can relate to the desensitizing is how no one in the theater seemed to be bothered by the violence shown in the slasher, nor when the killer begins to sexually assault his victim. They’ve seen enough horror movies that a normal killer isn’t going to stand out anymore. The abnormal example of this would be Robert trying to use the horror movie as a way to feed his fetish, only to realize that after you had a threesome with your (Now former) girlfriend and a corpse, watching a slasher isn’t going to do much for you anymore. It’s comical and over the top, but it’s the same basic concept as why I can watch a film such as Hostel, and not be affected by it since I’ve already saw enough torture porn films. It’s this message that we’re becoming desensitized by watching too much violence that begins to make me wonder if Nekromantik is far more clever than I originally imagined. If you want to be shocking in an era where horror was already pushing the limits like they were in the 80s, then you sort of have to go so far in graphicness in order to shock your viewers. Buttgereit is even potentially poking fun at filmmakers need to push the boundaries by deciding to follow their lead, but go so much further than anyone else would have thought about going at the time.

    Overall, Nekromantik accomplished what it set out to be. It’s shocking for the sake of being shocking. It’s certainly unlike anything else I’ve ever watched. That final scene alone ensures that I will never be able to forget Nekromantik. It’s made for pennies, the acting isn’t good, and it’s extremely amateurish. If that wasn’t going to put off enough viewers, the graphicness is going to be too far for some horror fans. However, if you’re looking for something different to watch, a type of movie you can brag about watching when comparing bizarre movies with friends, maybe give Nekromantik a watch.

    Grade: D

    Fright in Motion:

    Spoiler:


    ---

    Coming up next, covering quite possibly the dumbest movie request in Fright Fest history.

  20. #180
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    Re: Fright Fest 9: Never to be Certified Fresh

    Halfway through Fright Fest 9 and this has been a good time so far. I remember watching Vault of Horror back when I was a kid and thinking it was very cool. I've been meaning to watch that one and the old Tales From The Crypt movie again. Last time I checked neither of these was on Amazon instant video, I'll check again sometime this month, I'd like to watch those this month sometime.

    I forgot about Split Second, that was a good one. I've always liked that one actor that gets sawed in the end, I don't know his name but there were so many fucking movies that I grew up watching that he was in, countless b-rated horror movies, he's just a sinister looking motherfucker.

    Good stuff Jim.

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