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Thread: Fight Night July 28th Promo Discussion Thread

  1. #21

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    Re: Fight Night July 28th Promo Discussion Thread

    He was making a joke, mate






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  2. #22
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    Re: Fight Night July 28th Promo Discussion Thread

    .....yeah pretty sure that was a joke....

    ....imma o back to writing now.
    The most amazing thing about this recent conversation is that I've learned AON is even more of a waste of space than I thought he was previously

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    Re: Fight Night July 28th Promo Discussion Thread

    Yeah, you just somehow completely missed an obvious joke there... lol, you enjoy the company though.

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    Re: Fight Night July 28th Promo Discussion Thread

    My bad. Yeah it was a birthday get together- but did find out the other day that a friend from HS had died. Was after I wrote the promo, but I guess his death was still on my mind when 1000D made the comment.

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    Re: Fight Night July 28th Promo Discussion Thread

    Anyways promos-

    Humanity- lots and lots of detail/history . Maybe too much for some, but I liked reading it all. Maybe could have spoke more about the match- that's the only fault I saw with it. Still I really enjoyed it.

    Bell- Idk, I mean I liked some parts, well most parts- but I really don't know how to review it

  6. #26
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    Re: Fight Night July 28th Promo Discussion Thread

    Okay, so here's the deal.

    I don't know what happened to me, but I just couldn't do it this week. I don't know whether I just got tired or am spent, but I had over half a promo written and I'm literally staring at a black screen right now with nothing. Motivation....man, it should be there. I want to beat Jon, I want to win the NA title. It just...It wasn't there this week.

    Before Jon gloats and says that I'm ducking him, that's honestly not it. I can admit that he would have won anyways, most likely. I think for the first time ever...I've experienced a bad case of writers block. I may finish the promo later and post it up without it counting to show that I did the put the work in, but for now...I've hit the fucking wall. And I apologize to Jon, sincerely.

  7. #27
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    Re: Fight Night July 28th Promo Discussion Thread

    After a solid performance at the pay per view, I'm embarrassed to have no showed this one. Wasn't on purpose I assure you. Real life got the better of me as I was called into work last couple of nights. I got home tonight with enough time to give a decent showing even in a losing effort, but fell asleep on the couch after eating dinner. Haha. My apologies to my AON. I hope we can battle for real in the future.

  8. #28

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    Re: Fight Night July 28th Promo Discussion Thread

    I'm going to make an effort to try and review promos from those that I didn't get to at BIB. I've spent too long and I think time has passed. It's my bad. I'm probably going to try to do 5-6 promo reviews per show. I'll get to these reviews tomorrow.




    Also is Katie Lynn Goldsmith getting passed around the locker room or some shit? Poor Amy Duke.


    and Todd Salum.
    Last edited by RainShaker; 07-25-2017 at 06:08 PM.





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  9. #29
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    Re: Fight Night July 28th Promo Discussion Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by RyuShake Taguchi View Post
    I'm going to make an effort to try and review promos from those that I didn't get to at BIB. I've spent too long and I think time has passed. It's my bad. I'm probably going to try to do 5-6 promo reviews per show. I'll get to these reviews tomorrow.




    Also is Katie Lynn Goldsmith getting passed around the locker room or some shit? Poor Amy Duke.


    and Todd Salum.
    The real question is...is she being paid properly for what appears to be the position of lead interviewer?

  10. #30
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    Re: Fight Night July 28th Promo Discussion Thread

    I used Katie Goldsmith for mine as i thought she was the most appropriate. In their descriptions in the info thread it says that Todd Salum is the lead interviewer who handles the main event talent and Amy Duke handles the lower card talent while Katie Goldsmith does mid card. I consider the NA title to be the mid card title which is why I used her.

  11. #31
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    Re: Fight Night July 28th Promo Discussion Thread

    I wasn't gonna use Katie in this one but figured I had to if I wanted to work in referring the Pauley the Safety Parrot and his Safety Cones into my promo
    Last edited by hanz gruber; 07-26-2017 at 04:28 PM.

  12. #32
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    Re: Fight Night July 28th Promo Discussion Thread

    This should be good... explanations for why pretty much every one uses the same interviewer lol.

  13. #33

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    Re: Fight Night July 28th Promo Discussion Thread

    Heartbreak Express: My problem with your promo at BIB was that there was really nothing from the actual team. It was just the manager speaking. I still graded it to win then but I thought it would've been a lot more stronger if your dudes had a bit more personality shown in that promo rather than letting the manager speak all the time. A mix of it is better. Like in this promo. Firstly, you're probably gonna lose points for spelling mistakes alot or things that just don't make sense. An example being in the first few lines you have Danny Troy say: "And I'm coming to you, as FWA is just recovering from a massive Back in Business and he's going to be joining me right now as the very first guests...." -- I could give it a pass because you said Troy was nervous but a few lines later the description says "...who have redemption on their minds; The Heartbreak Express after his big Redemption match." There's also a few times you get Ryan Martin's name order mixed up. It just seems you'd benefit from proof reading a little bit as it comes across rushed when you spot stuff like this. There's a few more examples littered about. I'd say it's probably your biggest weakness tbh and probably loses you alot of points. Character work and creativity are always fine and score well IMO. The re-takes were pretty good and I think the ego came across well. I definitely wouldn't like them if they were real which is a plus since they're supposed to be heel. I think it could've been a bit shorter too. But it's solid for the most part.

    Bell Connelly: Same as above for the most part. I'll say this: I think Bell Connelly probably would have won CC and at BIB if there was less issues with presentation (as well as length somewhat but that's not an issue in this promo). This was better than the HBE promo though and that's because you're obviously more used to the character. It was more creative and had solid character work. I thought the past flashback/whatever it is was well done. Was a good choice to focus more on NA stuff in the second half of the promo whilst tying in the obvious disappointment of losing. I felt that the second half was quite strong and, if maybe fleshed out a bit more, would've scored highly. Still a really good promo and it's disappointing that Gambit noshowed.

    Phillip A. Jackson:
    I think you've always been consistently solid with your style and I don't know how to offer you criticism on how to better the style, to be honest with you. I feel that the PAJ character has kind of struggled to be a face. It feels a little... unnatural. Only because he's been such a heel in the past. But I do like that this promo kind of touched on it here and there. The things about not being a hero but merely human is the right sort of message PAJ should give off. He shouldn't put himself up on a pedestal as a hero. The No Mans Land theme was done well and I don't think you spent any more time on scene description than you had to, either. "No Mans Land" summed it up well enough for me. You're good at spending little time on scene setting but doing enough to get the picture. The strength has always been dialogue. Rebuild and restoration was a good way to put this promo (especially because it is against Sync) but I also like that you made PAJ somewhat sympathetic and human. I like the idea of "The Phillip A. Jackson project" and I think that this sort of stuff has legs. The guy who gives back. The guy who isn't trying to be a hero, just doing what's right etc. That thing works for me. I look forward to your next promo.

    Mark Merriweather: It's a fine promo. It's not gonna set the world on fire, though. I think the dialogue between Merriweather and his two friends is a little wooden and random. Like... you could take away that interaction and the promo wouldn't be any different. You could've just wrote about how Merriweather was sleepless and constantly replaying Back in Business on his TV or whatever. Obsessed with it. Really get across how much he wanted that belt. I liked the development of having someone back up Merriweather and even the odds in the match. That makes sense. But back onto the wanting hte belt thing - you have Merriweather say he wants the belt, it's his golden goose etc. You need to show it more somehow. Like I said with the suggestion above - instead of having Merriweather just say things, it's got to be displayed. I mean... think of a job interview - the best person isn't the person who goes in and rattles off their best qualities, they back it up by providing examples. It's kind of like that. If you say something about your character then make it obvious. The calendar thing was a neat touch but you could've had the dates all X'd out leading up to the 28th to get the point across he was counting down the days. It's a small thing but the small things are what put some people over. The idea of the promo was fine, though. I just wish it had more of those little things to drive home the point. As far as dialogue goes - it was solid. I think you displayed the differences between Mark and Jason well. Very well, actually, whilst still being quite heelish. I think it would've been a mistake to try and come off as a face. Some of the dialogue is a little corny though and I'm not sure if you're deliberately doing that. All in all, it's solid work. I'm unsure if it will win. But there's a base to build on.


    Mike Parr:
    Similar 'take' promo to HBE. Did you guys work together on that or is it just coincidence? The difference is, I don't think you lost focus or went away from the path as much as HBE did in their promo. There was more 'meat' to this, I guess I'd say. "Mike winces. This is brutal" - yeah you're right. The description of the scene made me cringe imagining it. Mike Parr dressed as a roman god with a staff? The shot at Humanity in take two was pretty funny as well. I like that you had both takes be obvious parodies at your opponents. I thought that was creative. The third take is obviously the best and feels right. The arrogance when talking about tagging with people is on point and reference the NA contendership tournament was something well done too. I feel like Parr now being the most dominant singles champion is going to have an effect on his words going forward. The promo felt like Parr was a douche and gave me the vibe that someone's going to have to knock him off his perch. If anyone reads this and doesn't want to beat Mike Parr then idk what to say. The perfect combination line was great. I think I would've liked at least a small mention of HBE by name and Parr dismissing them. Just a small thing though since Parr doesn't mention them and it fits the character portrayal here fine enough. Overall, a really solid piece of work and I graded it highest on the show (along with another promo).





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  14. #34
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    Re: Fight Night July 28th Promo Discussion Thread

    It's been quiet for days... I'm about to break the silence lol.

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    Re: Fight Night July 28th Promo Discussion Thread

    The show should be up Monday at latest. If you have any segments or whatever you want to send in then do so before then.





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  16. #36

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    Re: Fight Night July 28th Promo Discussion Thread

    Aight show up tonight, hopefully.

    Quick question: Should I post grade averages every FN?





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  17. #37
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    Re: Fight Night July 28th Promo Discussion Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by RyuShake Taguchi View Post
    Aight show up tonight, hopefully.

    Quick question: Should I post grade averages every FN?
    Idk. For this one maybe. Would like to know if I did better or worse than at BIB promo wise.

  18. #38
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    Re: Fight Night July 28th Promo Discussion Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by RyuShake Taguchi View Post
    Aight show up tonight, hopefully.

    Quick question: Should I post grade averages every FN?
    Nah fam





  19. #39
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    Re: Fight Night July 28th Promo Discussion Thread

    Nah Shake. I'd keep it on a request basis.
    LUCHA! LUCHA! LUCHA!


  20. #40
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    Re: Fight Night July 28th Promo Discussion Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by RyuShake Taguchi View Post
    Aight show up tonight, hopefully.

    Quick question: Should I post grade averages every FN?
    For the title matches only....maybe. But every match, no.

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