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Thread: Mental Health Discussion

  1. #121
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    Re: Mental Health Discussion

    It may sound odd but if you find yourself in your room and have that anxious “I don’t want to leave the house or even this room” feeling I highly recommend installing a dart board. Focusing on hitting specific numbers (I’ve always been a big triple 19 fan myself) should take your mind off of your troubles long enough to realize you need to go outside to get some fresh air.

    It may be unconventional but its worked for me in the past so give it a shot if you’ve got one handy. Definitely don’t drink to get rid of anxiety, that’ll just make it worse.


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  2. #122
     
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    Re: Mental Health Discussion

    I'm not a big fan of medical doctors when it comes to mental health problems. All they're going to do is give you meds.

    And yes, a lot of times meds help...they help stabilize it. It's like plugging up a leak. But the water is still there, putting pressure on the plug, and eventually it'll burst again.

    Counselors and therapists are the people to talk to, not medical doctors. And unfortunately they can be a harder resource to get to, but if you do have that resource use it for sure.

    I personally believe everyone should talk to a counsellor if they have the resource to. I wish it was one of those things in society like a dentist or an eye doctor, that you make part of you regular health routine.

    For me right now I'm in college, and my college has a free counselling center. So I'm taking advantage and I talk to my counsellor once every other week or so. I'm the type of person who doesn't open up and talk about my problems to people. The little friends and acquaintances I have don't know much about me personally. I just let it all build up inside instead. So getting to talk to someone privately about it is just so relieving and therapeutic.

    I wonder if a lot of our forum community is like that with opening up to people? It's nice to be able to use this place as a way to talk about our personal issues, because really we don't know each other. We have nothing to fear or lose. I've said things on here that I wouldn't tell friends or family. I definitely appreciate this place as that sort of resource.

    But really, if you guys are having hard times with stuff like this. Medical doctors will give your pills. That's all they can do and know how to do. They'll help you feel better but they won't fix the problem. It's a short term fix for a long term problem. See someone in the psychology field if you truly want to try and make things better in the long run.

    Fuji's dart board suggestion sounds really helpful, and a good way to ground yourself. I personally like going outside to run, but if you can't get outside in the first place then that's out of the question. But even if you could do some exercise inside your house. Running up the stairs, doing a bunch of calisthenics, anything.

    Exercise releases endorphins. It's like our bodies can get this natural high, almost like morphine, making us feel better and happy. I find it very euphoric, and I really have to get back into it myself. But definitely any kind of exercise. Our bodies are biologically built to feel better after it.

  3. #123
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    Re: Mental Health Discussion

    I find using a forum like this place a good release for the anxiety stuff. For me writing things down does help be it on paper, blog or here in a rant, it all helps. A professional said to me many years ago that any form of getting the feelings out is worth doing, so that's what I do. I probably go between the various ways depending on the situation because it does help.

    The dart board idea is a good one actually. It allows you to release your pent up frustrations and anxiety from throwing the dart, and concentrating on a set target will focus you enough so the anxiety will naturally lessen.

    I also echo the medication isn't always the best way to go, and neither is drinking...and as a side note energy drinks must be just as bad as alcohol when dealing with anxiety/stress as caffeine will always make you feel more alert/raise heart rate.
    I have a plan so cunning......

  4. #124
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    Re: Mental Health Discussion

    Quote Originally Posted by Baldrick View Post
    Just to let you guys know my mental health is utterly shot at the moment so that's why my activity levels have been lacking. I don't know when i'll start feeling me again, it's a massive struggle at the moment.
    I was just reading over your last message about your son, and this one and I had a thought, there is a method I use when I have been pushed too far out of my comfort zone. I don't know for sure if it will be helpful to you but whenever I felt strong negative feelings or as though I had reached the limit of what I could take.

    I will go outside find a stone or pebble and squeeze it tight, pushing all of my anger or negative feelings into the stone. You do this until you can feel like those emotions have been transferred into the stone, as though you are ridding yourself of these emotions in that moment. Then take a deep breath in, and yell aloud as you throw the stone away across the yard or wherever. I find this works for me, I come back inside feeling calmer, like my negative feelings had been tossed away for a while with that rock. I do this at stressful intervals then go back in to the people in my life, that way I have an outlet to voice how I feel, and express my frustration or anger, without hurting anyone's feelings by mistake because I am angry or frustrated or whatever it is that I am feeling, due to the situation.

    I recommend you try it at least once, only because you are in a stressful and difficult situation of your own and just like I need time to myself in order to cope, or like I need to vent how I feel at times, you need a healthy way to get out how you are feeling in a way that won't hurt anyone's feelings by accident.

    Anyway this is what I do, I hope it works and if not, regardless I hope that things get better for you.
    Last edited by Lisette; 03-13-2018 at 10:15 AM.
    Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people.

  5. #125
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    Re: Mental Health Discussion

    Aye, I've found distractions work decent. Gaming has been proving very useful as a coping mechanism, also Youtube, movies, TV.


    I'm trying my best to see if I can overcome this without adding any medicine, but sleeping for 15-20 hours a day just to function for a bit and still have pretty bad anxiety the entire time I'm awake sucks. And draining a 12 pack every other evening to be able to ignore the anxiety certainly isn't healthy or worth the long term damage. Especially, considering I do already have fatty liver, I'm supposed to be healing.


    A bit puzzling why I had my anxiety so under control for over a year, and now just out of the blue the last few weeks it's completely blown out of control the worst it's ever been.
    Fate whispers to the warrior
    'You can not withstand the storm.'
    The warrior whispers back,

    I am the storm.


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    Re: Mental Health Discussion

    Finally starting to feel a bit more like myself and the boy kicks off again eurgh, when will it all end?

    On the flip side we have visitors this weekend so plenty of other adults to help distract and occupy him when he's feeling off, so that's a bonus.
    I have a plan so cunning......

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    Re: Mental Health Discussion

    There's been a big push on Autism in the media in the past 7 days due to it being Autism Awareness Week. One of the local organisations have provided lanyards and wristbands for people with Autism to use whilst out shopping so shops can recognise they may need some support whilst in there, cracking idea...if shops will get on board with it of course.

    How we all doing anyway?
    I have a plan so cunning......

  8. #128
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    Re: Mental Health Discussion

    Been a tough couple of months but seem to be settling down again. The counselling course has really helped me confront a lot of stuff about my past, my current self & the steps I needed to take to sort my head out a bit. I haven't run in over 2 weeks now, which sounds barmy as it's usually my go-to to destress but I badly needed some me time again. Won't be for long as I've got my next challenge sorted for this summer, but this one's not a running one so I can continue to disconnect from that for a while. To top it off, actually managed to stay in bed until half 9 this morning, longest I've slept in a long time so chuffed at that!

    How have you & the lad been Baldy?






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    Re: Mental Health Discussion

    Quote Originally Posted by Postman Dave View Post
    Been a tough couple of months but seem to be settling down again. The counselling course has really helped me confront a lot of stuff about my past, my current self & the steps I needed to take to sort my head out a bit. I haven't run in over 2 weeks now, which sounds barmy as it's usually my go-to to destress but I badly needed some me time again. Won't be for long as I've got my next challenge sorted for this summer, but this one's not a running one so I can continue to disconnect from that for a while. To top it off, actually managed to stay in bed until half 9 this morning, longest I've slept in a long time so chuffed at that!

    How have you & the lad been Baldy?
    I've downloaded the couch 2 5K thing today so i'll be making a start on that. Never really been a keen runner but I always enjoyed playing cricket and football so I see it as a step to getting fit and dropping some weight to get back to playing that.

    Like you I need to find something for me as i'm very much stuck in my routine. It's work, home, deal with the everyday stuff then into bed to do it all again the next day. The kids have swimming, the wife has piano & violin, so need something for me..just finding what at the moment. Watch sport is good but I need something that's out of the house.

    As for the boy, he's been very up and down. Having a new teacher has been a killer, and his attitude stinks. However he is starting to self-regulate before he blows out which is a massive improvement, and the school SENCO has put something in place where his behaviour at home will impact at the fun activities in school, and that has helped so far. These two weeks will be a tester now as there's no playscheme so he only has his normal afternoon/evening activities to attend, so time will tell on that one.
    I have a plan so cunning......

  10. #130
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    Re: Mental Health Discussion

    Quote Originally Posted by Baldrick View Post
    I've downloaded the couch 2 5K thing today so i'll be making a start on that. Never really been a keen runner but I always enjoyed playing cricket and football so I see it as a step to getting fit and dropping some weight to get back to playing that.

    Like you I need to find something for me as i'm very much stuck in my routine. It's work, home, deal with the everyday stuff then into bed to do it all again the next day. The kids have swimming, the wife has piano & violin, so need something for me..just finding what at the moment. Watch sport is good but I need something that's out of the house.
    I feel ya. As much as I love it, it's become more of a chore/routine recently so I needed to step back. It's allowed me to be more sociable recently too which helps.

    As for the boy, he's been very up and down. Having a new teacher has been a killer, and his attitude stinks. However he is starting to self-regulate before he blows out which is a massive improvement, and the school SENCO has put something in place where his behaviour at home will impact at the fun activities in school, and that has helped so far. These two weeks will be a tester now as there's no playscheme so he only has his normal afternoon/evening activities to attend, so time will tell on that one.
    Been reading about it recently so I'll ask: Have mindfulness exercises ever come up as being a help? Came to mind when you mentioned self-regulation (which is great to hear by the way, as it must be helping you massively).






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    Re: Mental Health Discussion

    Quote Originally Posted by Postman Dave View Post
    Been reading about it recently so I'll ask: Have mindfulness exercises ever come up as being a help? Came to mind when you mentioned self-regulation (which is great to hear by the way, as it must be helping you massively).
    Not really tried anything around mindfulness with him as the ADHD side of things does make it difficult for him to sit and concentrate at times. Only thing we do do on a regular basis is deep breathing, he can do that himself when he chooses to so that's a small step in the right direction.
    I have a plan so cunning......

  12. #132
     
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    Re: Mental Health Discussion

    Quote Originally Posted by Baldrick View Post
    Not really tried anything around mindfulness with him as the ADHD side of things does make it difficult for him to sit and concentrate at times. Only thing we do do on a regular basis is deep breathing, he can do that himself when he chooses to so that's a small step in the right direction.
    Hmm, what about different sensory tools. Has he had problems with sensory overload or sensory seeking kinds of things?

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    Re: Mental Health Discussion

    Quote Originally Posted by Sully View Post
    Hmm, what about different sensory tools. Has he had problems with sensory overload or sensory seeking kinds of things?
    He isn't too bad on the sensory side of things. The only real thing he must have is jogging bottoms...he can only handle jogging bottoms and school trousers, nothing else.
    I have a plan so cunning......

  14. #134
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    Re: Mental Health Discussion

    Quote Originally Posted by Postman Dave View Post
    Been a tough couple of months but seem to be settling down again. The counselling course has really helped me confront a lot of stuff about my past, my current self & the steps I needed to take to sort my head out a bit. I haven't run in over 2 weeks now, which sounds barmy as it's usually my go-to to destress but I badly needed some me time again. Won't be for long as I've got my next challenge sorted for this summer, but this one's not a running one so I can continue to disconnect from that for a while. To top it off, actually managed to stay in bed until half 9 this morning, longest I've slept in a long time so chuffed at that!

    How have you & the lad been Baldy?
    Do you find it to be a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy? Take time off running to gather yourself. Running helps you gather yourself.

    I've started working out in the mornings. My biggest problem has always been falling asleep at nights. Somehow it seems to be the primary time anxiety kicks in. By working out in the mornings, at nights I end up exhausted. I can't help but to fall asleep. As well, it shifts my mind to thinking about the workout, rather than work, or other aspects of my day. It seems to work. When it doesn't, the stupid ASMR videos really seem to do the trick.

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    Re: Mental Health Discussion

    Falling asleep at night is the worst for me. (Like right now) It’s when my brain goes into overdrive and I overthink anything and everything. It probably doesn’t help that I worked overnight for 7+ years. Currently I wake up around 6am everyday, and I work 7:30-5:30. I really need to get back into a routine of exercise. That would help me a lot.

  16. #136
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    Re: Mental Health Discussion

    Indy wrestler (best known for his stint in CHIKARA) Gentleman Jervis posted this the other day about his recent mental health emergency. It's one of the most harrowing experiences of mental ill health I've read in a while, so warning in advance if you're not in a good place. However, it's very well written & deserves to be seen by as many eyes as possible.

    Dear Friends,

    Before I start I want to preface by providing a trigger warning. This post will discuss suicide & suicidal ideation, depression and how I handled a very serious mental health emergency. Please only continue if you feel strong and secure with your mental health. I must also add that your continued love and support is one of the main reasons that I am healthy today.

    My experience with suicidal thoughts and ideation began about 15 years ago when one of my dearest, best friends in the world committed suicide. As well as this, over the past five years, I have lost 9 friends to opiate overdoses. Too many funerals. Some days I can’t even remember who is alive and who is dead from my adolescent group of friends.

    I have never thought suicide to be a wise approach to depression, but for over a decade, the concept has lay waiting in the darkest recesses of my mind.

    Over the years I have faced a few terrible moments where the idea of taking my own life to absolve myself of chronic mental anguish has been overwhelmingly present in my mind. However no episode has been as frightening as the one I faced last Sunday.

    After losing my day job, a very dear relationship and coming up short on finding work in the ring, last Sunday I began experiencing acute feelings and considerations of self-harm. These were not conscious thoughts, I did not want these images in my mind. These thoughts felt like alien invaders with no regard for my mental wellbeing.

    Involuntarily, I began hurting, attacking and cutting myself. My outbursts were intermittent, but I could feel them coming and could do absolutely nothing to stop them. I am still wearing bruises from this episode today, 7 days later. I had almost no control over my outbursts of self-harm. This had never happened to me before in all of my years of battling depression. I was also alone. Things got downright scary. It was like I was living inside of a nightmare.

    Every sharp object in my house suddenly looked like a doorway to relief. I began planning how, where and when I would take my own life. I laid in the bathtub, fully clothed, for quite awhile as if it were my inevitable tomb. My experience in fighting suicidal urges has taught me that if you start making plans, whether voluntarily or involuntarily, you MUST ring the alarm.

    For me, this meant calling my most trusted friend and confidant, Louden Noxious. I texted him “Louden, I’m afraid I’m going to hurt myself, can you please come over and watch me?”

    “I’m on my way,” he responded.

    I am moved to tears just thinking of Louden’s quick acting, kind heart.

    Louden arrived but my angry, uncontrollable, crying fits and outbursts had only just begun. Much of my anger and sadness stems from a traumatic, abusive childhood, an estrangement from my father/abuser and a long battle with depression that is overwhelmingly powerful. I used to be a very angry, unpleasant young man. Sometimes in my weaker moments, I can still be this person.

    Without knowing it and according to my therapists, a long time ago I started turning my anger inward. This is how depression starts. So began the cycle of self-hate for me.

    I held a small gathering at my house for a few friends to watch Wrestlemania and everyone enjoyed themselves. I kept up a smile for my guests, but deep inside I was in agony. When my mates left, I went to sleep, hoping the morning would bring a fresh start. A few times during the restless night I woke up crying, begging the universe to let me die peacefully as I slept. Before I could even fall back asleep, a wash of guilt and embarrassment floored me. These two emotions would not leave me for many days.

    When one considers suicide, it is not like browsing a menu. The idea of suicide, as I said, is like an unwelcome invader. It’s weaponry includes anger, shame, guilt, embarrassment and many other low vibrational emotions.

    The next morning, I made myself a healthy spinach shake for breakfast, I drank lots of water and I walked to the beach. My friend Stokely Hathaway reached out to me and said “I don’t know why but something told me to call you this morning.” We had a wonderful conversation, after which, I broke down again.

    As I lay there on the beach, face down and sobbing in full view of the public, I could only think selfishly of stopping my own agony. I called my mum and cried to her as I walked home. Soon gentle sobs became agonizing wails. As I walked through the streets of Venice, CA clutching my chest, imagining it to be my last walk home from the beach I couldn’t help but think, “I am not ready to die.”

    So why did this feel like a death march with a million invisible soldiers at my back?

    When I arrived home, I laid in my bed to sleep off my sadness. It was noon on a Monday. The warm, gentle embrace of sleep refused greet me.

    I knew at this point that I needed a doctor so I called my therapist from my Intensive Outpatient Therapy Program. This is called an IOP for short and is a very important resource for any depression sufferer. More on that later.

    She told me she could not assist with acute feelings of self-harm and that I must visit an emergency room.

    My last mental health hospitalization cost me thousands of dollars and I was reluctant (being jobless and all) to take on debt.

    I tried to call my health insurance provider to make sure they covered this sort of thing, but was too weak to listen to the prompts and press the buttons. As pathetic as it sounds, I was too weak to use the phone.

    I then activated my first layer of support again, only this time I texted my friend Slade. He is an important part of my life and a true friend. He found a hospital for me where there was a bed available. “You’re Doing the right steps,” he said.

    “I’m afraid that people will think I am only trying to elicit sympathy. They’ll think that I am a freak.”

    “It's understandable, a lot of people put a stigma to it, or they worry about how people will see them. Right now let's just get you out of the woods.”

    Slade is a great friend.

    It was then I alerted my roommate of my dangerous situation. Now, you may be wondering why I did not do this before. The truth is, I have dealt with suicidal urges and ideation for so long that I have become scared of telling my friends for fear of exhausting or fatiguing them. This was my disease deceiving to me. Tricking me into believing that a member of my first level of support would be too upset himself to assist me.

    My roommate greeted me with compassion and care. He sat on the corner of my bed and said “I had no idea you were hurting this badly, buddy, how can I help?”

    I asked him to drive me to the emergency room. He dropped me off and went about the rest of his day. When I arrived, I could not stop crying. The attendants asked me if I had friends or family with me and this only made me feel worse. Because I was physically alone, I also felt mentally alone. I know this is not true and that I am never truly alone, but again, diseases like depression can deceive you.

    The attendants asked me “do you want to hurt yourself?”

    “No, but I’m afraid I might.”

    “Do you want to hurt anyone else?” They asked.

    “Heavens no,” I responded.

    The police took my clothes and searched my bag which made me feel like a bit like a criminal. The hospital attendant did not take his eyes off of me as I sat on a bed in the hallway of the emergency room sobbing for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, a few hours later, I was admitted to the psychiatric ward at UCLA on a voluntary basis.

    Often when one goes through this process, they can be put on a “hold.” That means you submit your freedom to the State. You no longer get to decide your own fate. Luckily I was not placed on a hold and was admitted to the hospital on my own volition.

    I spent the next five days in the care of some of the most amazing, compassionate, kind practitioners I have ever met. They gave me medication immediately to calm me down. I accepted without hesitation.

    By Wednesday I had stopped crying. I attended every group session that I could, which happened every hour. My fellow patients became like family to me. They were folks from all walks of life who suffered similarly to me. I no longer felt alone.

    While in the hospital, my inner creative came to the rescue. I rediscovered my love of painting. I read three Batman graphic novels by Frank Miller (and fainted quite a bit at the violence and foul language). I wrote a letter of appreciation to my estranged father to try and release some of my anger toward him. I wrote a song for my ukulele. I even penned a children’s story about a fairy who lives in a flower by the beach.

    Throughout the week a few of my friends came to visit. I lost access to my mobile for the week but was allowed to call a few dear friends who gave me unbelievable support and words of encouragement.

    After several days of hardwork in intensive therapy, I received good news. Thank heavens! My doctors postulated that I was no longer in danger and agreed to discharge me after a few more days.

    I filled out many worksheets on emergency planning, positive coping mechanisms and forms of therapy I have never heard of, like Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). These will be my study guides for the indefinite future.

    The medication I was given has calmed me down for now, but will not take full effect for a few weeks. One of my greatest mistakes which led to this episode was shirking previous orders from the doctor to take an antidepressant. I was too scared that the pills would take away my essence, my spirit.

    Depression medication must be closely monitored and can seriously change one’s personality. My mistake was believing that I did not need it or that I could face depression on my own with exercise, healthy eating and positivity. These things are extremely beneficial to one’s health, but sometimes these habits are just not enough. Some depression sufferers like me need medicated assistance as well and that’s okay! It is nothing to be ashamed of as a small insecure part of me may have previously believed.

    My outward appearance is a projection of sweetness, friendliness, and understanding. Sometimes, I am not so nice. Sometimes I am downright mean. My self-hate and anger boil over and I become a monster to those around me. A Rottenbelly. Though I am not proud of these moments, I am also not ashamed. Just like anyone else, I can be weak at times. But I can also be strong. Part of being strong is accepting your actions, forgiving yourself for them, apologizing to any parties who may be hurt or offended and correcting your behavior for the future.

    A great deal of the time when I share positivity, I am selfishly trying to work myself out of a rut. Underneath all of the masks I wear, there is a frightened man who is only now coming to grips with his sickness. After 16 years of suffering, I am still a beginner at self care and self love.

    If you take away one lesson from this, I must urge you to love yourself. Love yourself selfishly, wholly, without fear, without embarrassment or shame or guilt. Consider your own happiness before any other, because if you are happy, everyone around you will be happy. You can care for yourself like no one else in the Universe. And if you care for yourself and you love yourself, you will be free and clear to share that love with others.

    I have much more to share, but for now, I am a bit exhausted. In the coming weeks and months, I will continue to blog about self-care, self-love, depression, suicide, and many other mental health topics that are near and dear to my heart. I hope you’ll join me on this journey of self discovery.

    One more thing; my career as a professional wrestler, my interactions with so many kind friends, well wishers supporters and strangers has saved my life. Reader, you give me hope. You are my light in the dark. The thought of recovering enough for an appearance, a match, more hugs, more handshakes, that kept me safe when my disease took hold. You weren’t just my life raft in a raging sea storm, you were the helicopter that lifted me to safety.

    I love you. Please take care.

    Warmly,

    Gentleman Jervis

    If you are suffering or can relate to feelings in this post, you are not alone. The National Alliance on Mental

    Health https://www.nami.org/ is a great place to start.

    GentlemanJervis.com
    Last edited by Postman Dave; 04-17-2018 at 08:00 AM.






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    Re: Mental Health Discussion

    That story is typical for so many...and him sharing will help more people than he can imagine.
    I have a plan so cunning......

  18. #138
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    Re: Mental Health Discussion

    Been in a bit of a bad place lately. For several reasons. Health/family health/personal losses, other stresses. And one big reason too. The woman I referred to as Mrs. Dook who I was with for a several years and I are no more. And with recent information, it's not something that will be salvaged. Somehow, knowing it's completely done, for now, puts me in a better place than when I thought it could be fixed. Still, it's a challenge when the person you were closest to and had to vent to in times of crisis is now gone entirely. Feels like a waste of years, and it also leaves you feeling completely alone. Silly, I know, since it'll get better/someone else/yada yada, but losing that person you felt most comfortable with when things are tough as it is? Definitely challenging.

    I also hate talking about things in public because I don't want the "poor me" stigma, which is also probably dumb, but alas, here I am. I don't even really know why I'm posting it, since I'm not exactly up for engaging in some public conversation, but I guess just finding a way to let it out helped some.
    Last edited by Hollywood Dook; 04-25-2018 at 03:20 AM.

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  19. #139
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    Re: Mental Health Discussion

    Dookster, a "grieving" period after something like that is perfectly normal, even if you know you'll be better off in the long run. It's a big change in your life, it's bound to affect you in some form. Don't worry if you don't wanna talk about it for now, but this thread is here if you do need anyone

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  20. #140
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    Re: Mental Health Discussion

    Agree with Dave on this Dook, it's good to get it out and we all do go in a grieving process with big change like that. Very good of you to share and we are here to chat about such things if you feel like doing so.
    I have a plan so cunning......

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