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Thread: MAMMA MIA - The Mauro Ranallo Quotebook

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    MAMMA MIA - The Mauro Ranallo Quotebook


    Home to Mauro's many pop culture references, puns, rhymes and dad jokes. I do think he's a great commentator but I reached a breaking point a few weeks ago once I started watching Smackdown in full everyweek with stuff like 'Game of Thrones isn't the only show that has flying dragons' about Kalisto and 'she's an avid Disney fan, but she's seems more Maleficent than Mulan tonight' about one of the women. Now I can't hear anything beyond the cringy references and attempts to sound down with the kids he keeps making so I thought I'd document them.

    I don't know if anyone caught the Takeover preshow that Mauro was on with Lita and Renee, but Mauro was on top form last night.

    On Ciampa and Gargano Vs Revival:
    forget the sound of silence, we're gonna be listening to the sounds of violence later tonight
    On how quickly he would leave the Nakamura/Joe interview when security had to step in:
    I would make Usain Bolt look like a snail
    On No Way Jose Vs Austin Aries
    The one man fiesta, he better be careful because he could be enjoying a painful siesta against Austin Aries
    On Bobby Roode
    There's a worm in the Big Apple and his name is Bobby Roode
    on Billie Kay
    she's exuding that confidence and in this case I guess confidence is spelled...with a Kay.
    Who's gonna win Billie Kay Vs Ember Moon
    I think there's gonna be a bad moon rising for Billie Kay
    On his use of puns:
    I'M A PUN-DIT
    On who's gonna win Nakamura/Joe:
    YAY-O

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    Re: The Mauro Ranallo Quotebook

    This is great and all, but how is this a thing before a Corey Graves Quotebook?

    I will say he was great last night on the pre-show. Definitely the best I've enjoyed him since he debuted on Smackdown.

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    Re: The Mauro Ranallo Quotebook

    Mauro is much better on the Cruiserweight Classic than on SmackDown in my opinion. I suppose this will be his first pay per view proper tonight as with the brand split they'll have both crews. Wonder what gold he's going to come up with
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    Re: The Mauro Ranallo Quotebook

    Quote Originally Posted by PeepShow View Post
    This is great and all, but how is this a thing before a Corey Graves Quotebook?
    Calm down, mark.

    I'll still never forget "LIKE THE RAPPER DESIGNER HE IS MACHO LIKE RANDY" about Gran Metallik's elbow.
    -------
    Quote Originally Posted by RaiZ-R View Post
    What the fuck is happening to you guys? I once got a blowjob where she used her teeth a little bit too much and I ended up with a bloody dick, I still enjoyed the blowjob up to the point I started bleeding. I can honestly say that I have never had anything I would call a bad blowjob, that wasn't a great experience but up until I started gushing blood I was having a great time!
    Spoiler:


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    Re: The Mauro Ranallo Quotebook

    Happy to see this thread is a thing. My girlfriend only hears his bad lines, I feel like. She thinks he's terrible. I feel like he's usually really good but maybe that's just because we've been used to awful commentary before his arrival. Those awful lines really do stand out and they do diminish the rest of his work to the point that he's almost a net neutral. Corey Graves on the other hand is incredible, net amazing.
    Prepare to lose a war of attrition in 10,000 words or more.


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    Re: The Mauro Ranallo Quotebook

    I thought his ratio of bad references and jokes was quite low last night, maybe he was more micromanaged being a ppv. I thought this was a gem though:

    Mauro keeping count:
    There is the 33rd suplex delivered by Brock Lesnar at Summerslam

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    Re: The Mauro Ranallo Quotebook

    He made a pretty funny Ryan Lochte joke in the opener.


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    Re: The Mauro Ranallo Quotebook

    Classic line on American Alpha from SmackDown last night which stuck with me:

    "These two have for more chemistry than the periodic table."
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    Re: The Mauro Ranallo Quotebook

    He was having a low key night until American Alpha Vs Breezango came along:

    Will this be the dance of destiny for Fandango and his partner Tyler Breeze or will American Alpha prove to be the alpha tag team on Smackdown
    Gable is putting on a wrestling clinic just like Kyle Snyder did becoming the youngest US Olympic gold medalist at Rio De Janeiro at the age of 20.
    These two have more chemistry than a periodic table
    American Alpha treated Breezango like critics treated Zoolander 2
    Last edited by Ed; 08-24-2016 at 07:09 PM.

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    Re: The Mauro Ranallo Quotebook

    That Zoolander one was pretty good, IMO.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dakstang
    You can't have a reasonable discussion about serious topics with people like Marketh around.

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    Re: The Mauro Ranallo Quotebook

    Yeah, I got a huge laugh from the Zoolander line as well.
    -------
    Quote Originally Posted by RaiZ-R View Post
    What the fuck is happening to you guys? I once got a blowjob where she used her teeth a little bit too much and I ended up with a bloody dick, I still enjoyed the blowjob up to the point I started bleeding. I can honestly say that I have never had anything I would call a bad blowjob, that wasn't a great experience but up until I started gushing blood I was having a great time!
    Spoiler:


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    Re: The Mauro Ranallo Quotebook

    I've been lurking around for a while, this thread is gold, thank you Ed!

    My favourite Mauro line in his early SD Days - "The Notorious Bo-IG" in reference to Bo Dallas.

    Although I do hate the fact that him and Otunga are doing the #MajorKey thing over and over. Otunga needs to CUT IT!


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    Re: The Mauro Ranallo Quotebook

    A couple of belters in the Tozawa/Metalik match:

    Just like DJ Khaled and Jay Z in 'Future', Daniel your the man with the keys, what's the biggest key to victory for both of these competitors?

    [Tozawa] representing dragon gate in japan and with all due respect to LL Cool J, Daniel it is LL Cool DG because the ladies love Dragon Gate. It's amazing how many women attend Dragon Gate events.

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    Re: The Mauro Ranallo Quotebook

    Jesus, I don't even remember that Dragon Gate quote. That is cringeworthy and would be up there with the best of the Bizarre Kevin Kelly Commentary thread I started on the ROH board.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dakstang
    You can't have a reasonable discussion about serious topics with people like Marketh around.

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    Re: MAMMA MIA - The Mauro Ranallo Quotebook

    Smackdown 6/9/16

    David you mentioned the Queen of rap, Nicki Manaj, dropping the pinkprint freestyle over the weekend...which female superstar has the BLUEPRINT to become the first women's champion?
    Misawa-esque forearm there by Nikki Bella
    American Alpha rolled over The Usos like the Crimson Tide rolled over the Trojans
    The great fighting city of Philadelphia that's produced legends like Smoking Joe Lewis
    Just like Chance the Rapper, Dean Ambrose went to the school of hard knocks and took night classes

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    Re: MAMMA MIA - The Mauro Ranallo Quotebook

    I noticed those hip hop references last night too. Never ceases to amaze me
    -------
    Quote Originally Posted by RaiZ-R View Post
    What the fuck is happening to you guys? I once got a blowjob where she used her teeth a little bit too much and I ended up with a bloody dick, I still enjoyed the blowjob up to the point I started bleeding. I can honestly say that I have never had anything I would call a bad blowjob, that wasn't a great experience but up until I started gushing blood I was having a great time!
    Spoiler:


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    Re: MAMMA MIA - The Mauro Ranallo Quotebook

    That Chance The Rapper line was pretty cringe worthy, and not just because Chance The Rapper never said that (it was 2 Chainz, though he did say it on a Chance song)



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    Re: MAMMA MIA - The Mauro Ranallo Quotebook

    IT'S A DAB DUEL IN THE CRUISERWEIGHT CLASSIC!
    Line of the year.
    -------
    Quote Originally Posted by RaiZ-R View Post
    What the fuck is happening to you guys? I once got a blowjob where she used her teeth a little bit too much and I ended up with a bloody dick, I still enjoyed the blowjob up to the point I started bleeding. I can honestly say that I have never had anything I would call a bad blowjob, that wasn't a great experience but up until I started gushing blood I was having a great time!
    Spoiler:


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    Re: MAMMA MIA - The Mauro Ranallo Quotebook

    Low key episode, that was the best quote for sure.

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    Re: MAMMA MIA - The Mauro Ranallo Quotebook

    Quote Originally Posted by Ed View Post
    Low key episode, that was the best quote for sure.
    I don't know, he had some moments just on the Swann/Perkins match. He cited the Drake/Meek Mill rivalry.
    -------
    Quote Originally Posted by RaiZ-R View Post
    What the fuck is happening to you guys? I once got a blowjob where she used her teeth a little bit too much and I ended up with a bloody dick, I still enjoyed the blowjob up to the point I started bleeding. I can honestly say that I have never had anything I would call a bad blowjob, that wasn't a great experience but up until I started gushing blood I was having a great time!
    Spoiler:


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