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Thread: WC Fantrax Premiership 2015 Discussion

  1. #1041
    GELLING IS GOD
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    Re: WC Fantrax Premiership 2015 Discussion

    I'm up by 37 and fearing for my title haha.
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  2. #1042
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    Re: WC Fantrax Premiership 2015 Discussion

    Crocker was right. This game is being counted.
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    I FIXED THEM NOW SUCK ME

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    Re: WC Fantrax Premiership 2015 Discussion

    Alright boys, it's time.

    I have to apologize for my lateness in reviewing this season, but between laptop issues, moving 8000 miles across the world, downgrading from Fibre to the worst WiFi the lands have ever known, and trying to sort out a decent VPN - well, let's just say I have a multitude of excellent excuses. However, after daily reminders from PS which juuuust fall short of standing outside my bedroom window at night in the rain screaming 'FANTRAXXXXXXXXXXXXXX REVIIIIIIIIIIIIIEW NASH', it's time to anoint our hedonistic king.

    The winner of the 2015/2016 Fantrax Premiership for the unbelievable third year in a row is.....

    PS



    Last year I commented that in a game with such an element of luck as Fantrax, there was absolutely no way that anyone could go back to back to back. I'm still in shock. Even I have to admit that it's a pretty spectacular achievement, despite literally no-one outside of maybe 15 people in the entire world giving a shit. Meh, maybe that adds to the prestige, who knows. All I know is I've lost a hell of a lot of battles with this man and I've never been more jealous in my life.

    Raise your glasses one and all, the boy has a brand new shiny trophy to put next to his 2 other cups, a red star, and the knowledge that we are all witnesses.

    This year was always gunna be a tricky one for me. The first year since becoming an owner, planning a move across the world during crunch time, and the first time we've made a change anywhere near as big as introducing a two tier system. I'd like to thank everyone for helping me out, especially Crock for doing the weekly updates and generally helping me out, the guys in Div 1 for being pretty much autonomous all season long, and Regal for losing to me every time we played. I think the system was a success, but to reiterate what I said when the changes were made, how much this is a success depends on whether or not people will take their relegation/promotion like a man and not just give up because they had one bad season. Trust me, Relegation sucks (I should know) and unfortuantely Zero, you've got to go my friend. so long and thanks for all the Hoolahans. I'm sure we'll see you again in a couple of seasons time. We all know how the game works three seasons in, but I really hope that relegation/promotion can continue to be a thing, I know if I go down I won't just quit in a sulk. What are we, 3?
    Now let's have the awards shall we? As always, every award is decided by my own completely impartial and unbiased opinion, so if you disagree, shut the fuck up because I am your captain now. Lets get on with it

    The Mike Ashley Award for Transfer Frugality
    2014 - Ed
    2015 - Sykotic
    Sykotic

    If you think I'm renaming this award after one season of investment and still a bag of shit team, YOU'RE DEAD WRONG. Our man Syko has to retain this year I'm afraid. I will give him some credit in toning down the mass offers towards the end of the season but my god, the early season was just a parade of 'my shit for your average players'. I've looked back at some of the offers, and I tell you what, in retrospect some of those trades could have been killer (Alli for Costa anyone?), but it's not enough to prevent this award coming home. Syko is the king of shopping out of form guys that will clearly be dropped (Lollscheid) in the vain hope that a pissed up Crock or a half-baked Nash may slip and accidentally press Accept. It isn't gunna happen fam, there's a reason you made no trades this year! Keep it up, and you may even get this award named after you.

    The Mario Balotelli Award for biggest liability to his football club
    2014 - Yeezus
    2015 - Zero
    Simmo

    I had a huge spiel written off about Ed and his contagious bad luck, but looking through the numbers it just has to be Simmsy. The kid made 5 trades this year and won only 1 of them. 1 out of 5 I hear you cry? Could be worse. However, when you trade away Costa, Payet, Ozil, Rooney and Lukaku, you better get something back and what you get back better replace that level of firepower. The one trade he won? Trading Bafetimbi Gomis to me for Gary Cahill. Big Whoop. He'd have probably won the league in another life, poor soul. At least he has nice hair.

    Sneakiest Bastard In Free Agency
    2014 - PS
    2015 - Ed
    Ed

    Last year, his pick up of specialist corner taker Harry Kane was enough to scoop him this prize. This year, it's league leading scorer and general man of the people Riyad Mahrez back in week 2. Ed loves him so much he even changed his name, and the pick up surely saved his place in the top flight for one more year. If he drafts a defence that suicidal again, well, it may not last. Other notable pickups also include David De Gea, Kyle Walker, Erik Lamela and the world's greatest centreforward Aleksandr Mitrovic

    Gate Of The Year
    2014 - Yayagate
    2015 - DierGate
    2016 Nominations - FabianskiGate, DualEligibilityGate, JanDraftGate, ShaqiriGate

    A gate can take many forms. It can be humorous or it can be soul breaking. We had a bit of both this year, but in general it was a very very quiet year in terms of controversy. Funniest? Has to be ShaqiriGate - watching Simmo scream about the injustices that life has befallen him regarding when clean sheets become points will never be unfunny. To quote, "It makes no sense. I have every right to moan" "At least crock has my back" "Change the damn result" "Horseshit" "Listening to me moan is boring, but I've been fucking screwed this time" oh how we laughed.

    However, it just has to be the damn Keepers. I can't believe we went through with that awful change, 5 of the top 10 players this year were goalkeepers, what the fuck is that. Listening to me moan is boring but we screwed ourselves this time. It's changing to GP 1 next year, and I'm a pseudo-Russian living in China, there's no room for democracy any more. Tyranny reigns all.

    Most Shocking Revelation
    2014 - Sykotic is a Chelsea Fan
    2015 - Lineups could be changed on a Sunday
    2016 - Ed not making the Playoffs, Nash winning the league, Crocker trades for Rooney, PS drafting Pedro over KDB, Christian Benteke is a Midfielder

    This dual elgibility bullshit has been driving me insane, but boys, I think I've worked it out. I reckon if a Striker (say Troy Deeney) gets subbed on or off for a midfielder, the system automatically counts that as a 'midfield ' game. Quite how to fix that I have absolutely no idea, I'm probably gunna switch the game requirement up to 10 as I think that's the only thing I can do without completely removing the functionality. As much as a midfield quartet of Ighalo, Deeney, Long and Benteke sounds promising, it's not really the point. Watch this space.


    Best Piece of Drafting
    2014 - PS - Kevin Mirallas – 16th Round
    2015 - Crocker - Charlie Austin - 13th Round
    2016
    Nash - Andre Ayew - 9th Round
    Zero - Roberto Firmino - 5th Round
    Crocker - Jermain Defoe - 16th Round
    Ed - Georgino Wijnladum - 8th RoundSyko - Troy Deeney - 15th RoundRegal - Dusan Tadic - 9th Round
    Simmo - Dimitri Payet - 8th Round
    PS - Jack Butland - 16th Round
    Yes, yes, there were bigger bargains taken lower down, but they were either dropped before they truly paid off, or they eventually fell out of form. Also, there's no way Jermain Defoe is getting an award in any game I run thank you very much. I remember that round of drafting so well, I wanted Payet desperately having seen the stats from his final year in Marseille, but I also knew that keepers would be vital this year, given the ridiculous changes we had made in the offseason. I thought I could hold on. I couldn't, because Simmo is a bastard. Looking at the draft again though, Syko's is maybe the only completely good one top to bottom.

    Worst Piece of Drafting
    2014 - Christian Benteke - 1st Round - Sykotic
    2015 - Emmanuel Adebayor - 3rd Round - Simmo
    2016
    Nash - Memphis Depay - 3rd Round
    Zero - Kieran Trippier - 3rd Round
    Crocker - Falcao - 4th Round
    Ed - Saido Berahino - 4th RoundSyko - Phil Jagielka - 8th RoundRegal - Papiss Demba Cisse - 11th Round
    Simmo - Rickie Lambert - 10th Round
    PS - Jay Rodriguez - 8th Round


    TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPZ

    Goodness me I got away with that one, nice one Zero me son. No matter how finevyou slice it, Kieran Trippier was selected as the 18th best player in the Premier League this year, ahead of Coutinho, Ozil, Sturridge, Barkley etc. etc. Still boggles the mind, I know Spurs were very good this year but the back up right back. Come on now Zero son. Many jokes and japes were to be had, but there's a reason you do not draft based on past numbers.

    Most Inactive
    2014 - BeastyBoy (37 logins)
    2015 Zero - (68 logins)

    Zero - (76 logins)

    How the hell did Beasty win the league in 2014 with only 37 logins? That's an absolute farce. Zero suffers from both a timezone problem and a 'not bombarded by football news 18 hours a day' problem when it comes to Fantrax, and I think that 76 logins represents exactly twice a week kind of goes to explaining that. Activity breeds success, or you know, not drafting Kieran Trippier in the third round.

    Most Active
    2015 - Sykotic - (274 logins)
    Sykotic - (275 logins)

    Waheyyyyyy! Syko's beaten his record by a massive 1! Always knew you had it in you buddy! Syko is the master of this award, but I tell you what, Simmo is approaching him quickly, only 6 off this year compared to 70 plus last year. I've never been massively trusting of this data, mostly because of the app thing, but I know I login literally every day of the season and I still don't think I could take over Syko. Top boy, the man knows how to scour a market. I'll always appreciate hard work.

    Best Legit Trade
    2014 - Suarez for RVP - Crocker and Beasty
    2015 - Falcao and Ozil for Sigurdsson, Ramsey and Sanchez - Simmo and Nash

    Gino Wijnaldum and 5 (Nicolas Otamendi) for 4 (Anthony Martial) - Nash and Ed
    Kun Aguero and Troy Deeney for Diego Costa and Ozil - Nash and Simmo
    Dimitri Payet for Pedro - PS and Simmo

    We've had a paltry 9 trades this year, gross. Trades are by fair and away my favourite part of this game, I'm gunna have to think of a way to get some form of instant messaging trade app, because it becomes apparent that we do not go through enough trade debate here. Any ideas would be welcome.

    Back on topic, how the fuck PS pulled this off has me suspicious. I remember Yayagate, the scars still run deep. Simmo MUST have been off his head on ket to think this was in anyway respectable. I know his penchant for Latinos has him hankering after a bit of exotic flesh as opposed to a Frenchie, but lets be clear, there must have been some exchange of male grooming tips or SOMETHING.

    Unluckiest Player
    2014 - BeastyBoy - 1324 points against
    2015 - Regal - 1202 points against
    Simmo - 1397 points against

    NEWWWWWWWWWWW RECORDDDDDDDDDD!

    LOL maybe the guy had a point. I've ran 7 total seasons and I've never seen anyone come anywhere close to conceding that many points. 38points per week on average!? You do have to bear in mind, we made the 2GP change this year, but stillllllllllll. He's closely followed by Regal on 1370 and Ed on 1362

    Luckiest Player
    2014 - PS - 1052 points against
    2015 - Sykotic - 1063 points against
    Nash - 1222 points against

    I CAN SMELL THE HATE SEEPING THROUGH YOUR PORES. 40 less points than second place PS, 175 points less than Unluckiest award winner Simmo. These things happen ey?

    The Alan Shearer Goal Machine Award
    2014 - BeastyBoy - 84 Goals
    2015 - Sykotic - 83 Goals
    Simmo - 78 Goals


    The SAS keep their record again for another year (RIP Beasty). Goals are a precious commodity in Fantrax, and they're the main reason behind the importance and scarcity of decent strikers - Simmo had two of the best in the game at various points. Oddly enough, Vardycentric Zero scored the second most with 70, which also shows that it's a team game. Last place for goals was Crock, with a laughable 49, the majority of which came from Lukaku.

    Share the Wealth award
    2014 - BeastyBoy - 56 Assists
    2015 - Sykotic - 49 Assists
    Nash/Simmo - 52 Assists

    Nash and Simmo share the wealth for the Share the Wealth award. Weirdly, seeing as assists count differently for strikers, midfielders and defenders, we also scored exactly the same points as well. Assists are controversial, I still don't exactly know if you get one for a penalty win or if it bounces off the post, I get asked about 50 times a year and still forget how it goes, so don't ask me cheers. Zero came last with 26. Learn to share Zero son.

    The Tony Pulis Stingiest Defence Award
    2014 - Sykotic - 134 Clean Sheets
    2015 - Sykotic/PS - 128 Clean Sheets
    Sykotic - 123 Clean Sheets

    I get this very stingy vibe from Syko for sure, undercutting trade offers, top notch defence, no VIP.... hahaha I'm joking I love you really bro. Syko threepeats on the Pulis award, but oddly did not score the most points from these Clean Sheets. That honour belongs to Simmo, with 208 off 122 compared to 196 from 123 for Syk. If only Chelsea could had TheSykoticOne at centreback this year.

    The Dennis Wise Nasty Little Bastard Award
    2014 - PS - (45 yellows, 2 reds – 51 filth points)
    2015 - Ed - (52 yellows, 4 reds - 64 filth points)
    Sykotic - (40 yellows, 4 reds - 52 filth points)

    Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that's how Syko keeps out the goals. He basically just kicks the shit out of everyone, it's all so clear now. It's a stark change of strategy from last year, when Syko was as good as gold in winning the Linekar Trophy, but the boy still can't get his crown. While he got the third most yellows (I got the most), it was the 4 reds that killed him, sharing that honor with our estranged winner PS - who basically is a Fantrax bully.

    The Gary Linekar Fair-y Play Award
    2014 - Ed - (28 yellows, 0 reds)
    2015 - Sykotic - (45 yellows, 0 reds)
    Ed - (31 yellows, 1 red - 35 filth points)

    Ed's return to nice guy status comes as no surprise. He made a very brief heel turn back in 2015 to see if that could change the fortunes of his franchise, but returned to his natural face status this year when he realised he doesn't want to win that way. Good on ya, if only West Brom had the same passion for proper football

    Team Of The Year
    (pts/game, min 10 games played)
    2014 - Cech Baines Cahill Agger Coleman Walcott Toure Ramsay Hazard Suarez Sturridge2015 - Ospina Baines Kolarov Terry Ivanovic Sanchez Hazard Silva Sigurdsson Aguero Costa

    Petr Cech (Regal 5.47)

    Michail Antonio (Regal 5)
    Vincent Kompany (Simmo 4.43)
    Laurent Koscielny (Sykotic 4)
    Hector Bellerin (PS 4.14)

    Riyad Mahrez (Ed 5.57)
    Alexis Sanchez (Zero 5)
    Dimitri Payet (PS/Simmo 4.83)
    Mesut Ozil (Nash/Simmo 4.83)

    Sergio Aguero (Nash/Simmo 5.37)
    Jamie Vardy (Zero 4.92)

    No Kane, No Rashers, No KDB, No Alli, No Fabianski, but you can't really argue with that 11 above. You could argue it could be a team of the year, which says a lot for our scoring system. This year also marks the first year with no Leighton Baines, no Chelsea or Man United players, and no Crock players. Also, as many last placed team players as first placed teams players. It's a competitive league fuckers!


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    And so we've come to the end of the road.... Time to make it official:
    WC FANTRAX CHAMPION 2014 - PS*
    WC FANTRAX CHAMPION 2015 - PS
    WC FANTRAX CHAMPION 2016 - PS
    Just look at that. If that doesn't make you want to commit suicide, nothing will. I propose an alliance between all 7 non-PS members of the league, we must end this streak. My mind cannot take it. I now owe PS 2 pints. Write that shit down.

    Finally, I would like to welcome young master Dmac into the fold. Be prepared to be exploited son, this is a hallowed ground.Until next year fuckers, I presume we're all coming back. the draft will be a few weeks after the Euros, I'll be looking to start early because of my time difference now.
    Love you

    Commissioner Nash xx

    ----------------------

    I'm also recruiting 2 maybe 3 new members for Div 1 depending on the members there, I'm sure many will be back but if you read this and want in, shoot me a PM and we'll see.
    Last edited by Nash; 06-19-2016 at 05:07 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Kairi HoHo View Post
    Truth is I'm just as a cool person and good to talk to with in any topic on this forum as much as my homie Raiz, the problem is like many of you are still hanging me from mistakes I made here years ago and you look down upon for me and say hey that's why we can't take this guy serious here and you know what I'm talking about. Listen here I'm not shocked to hear these words from you, but ask anyone including the 10 votes I got here and they'll tell you yeah hoho can get naughty

    Fantrax Premiership \ Fantrax Division 1

    WC Fantrax Premiership

    2014 - 20/12/5 - 1st in Regular Season, 2nd Overall
    2015 - 21/14/1 - 3rd in Regular Season, Tied 3rd Overall
    2016 - 21/14/1 - 1st in Regular Season, 2nd Overall
    2017 - 20/15/1 - 3rd in Regular Season, Tied 3rd Overall



  4. #1044
    But Who's Buying?
    Cumine the Trine!

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    Re: WC Fantrax Premiership 2015 Discussion

    Great read and great work over the season as always Nash! Looking forward to retaining next year already.

    And he scores goals...!




  5. #1045
    GMT Baby

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    Re: WC Fantrax Premiership 2015 Discussion

    So basically what we can all learn from this review is that I was screwed to the last.

    Great writeup, hilarious!



  6. #1046
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    Re: WC Fantrax Premiership 2015 Discussion

    Nice stuff mate.

    I think I could have pushed Ed for the free agency award with Ighalo, Smalling, Alli and Schmeichel all picked up on it. Dropping Deeney not the smartest idea though.

    Despite the statement of a strong draft my first two picks were horrid, fuckin' Raheem Sterling!!! I'll donate to keep him in France!!!

  7. #1047
    I FIXED THEM NOW SUCK ME

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    Re: WC Fantrax Premiership 2015 Discussion

    Ighalo dying a death and you drafting Kasper was the main reason. Have to admit I forgot Smalling. That Mahrez shine is strong though
    Quote Originally Posted by Kairi HoHo View Post
    Truth is I'm just as a cool person and good to talk to with in any topic on this forum as much as my homie Raiz, the problem is like many of you are still hanging me from mistakes I made here years ago and you look down upon for me and say hey that's why we can't take this guy serious here and you know what I'm talking about. Listen here I'm not shocked to hear these words from you, but ask anyone including the 10 votes I got here and they'll tell you yeah hoho can get naughty

    Fantrax Premiership \ Fantrax Division 1

    WC Fantrax Premiership

    2014 - 20/12/5 - 1st in Regular Season, 2nd Overall
    2015 - 21/14/1 - 3rd in Regular Season, Tied 3rd Overall
    2016 - 21/14/1 - 1st in Regular Season, 2nd Overall
    2017 - 20/15/1 - 3rd in Regular Season, Tied 3rd Overall



  8. #1048
    GELLING IS GOD
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    Re: WC Fantrax Premiership 2015 Discussion

    Fine... leave it to me I'll come in and knock PS off his perch.

    Jokes aside though I'm pretty much aiming to just avoid relegation this coming season. Any over that and I'll be happy.
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