OOC: Bored at Work
OOC 2: Very Bored
OOC 3: This was fun
OOC 4: Happy Halloween!


Darkness. Pure, total, darkness. Total vacuum. Nothingness.

And then light.

Bright, red, hot, blinding light.

R3 - "Wh...where am I?"

"Rockstar" Randy Ramon awakens from his slumber, startled from a sound sleep by the heat piercing his eyelids. The terrain is barren. Nothing in sight except nothingness. The red rock ground seems to go on infinitely in every direction. The sky above is pitch black, red stars dotting it in a completely random fashion. He rises to his feet and scratches his head, taking it all in.

R3 - "I've gotta stop eating so close to bed time..."

He picks a direction and begins walking, hoping to figure out just what is going on. Step by step, it's just pure nothingness.

R3 - "I don't even..."

He's interrupted by an eruption of hot molten lava a few feet to his left. It shoots straight in the air, falling to its right, forming an arch way right in front of him. As the lava quickly hardens, a cave-entrance is formed, and the terrain shifts to direct him right into it. Extremely trepidatious, he approaches the entry way, skulking along as slowly as possible.

A sound in the distance. A growl? A snarl? Both? He stops dead in his tracks. Careful not to make a sound. Out of the darkness appears a zombie-skeleton-warrior type thing, charging at him, broad sword in hand.

R3 - "What the hell?!"

He is narrowly able to dodge the sword swipe, and as he searches around for a weapon or something to defend himself with, he suddenly realizes his back feels much heavier than he initially realized. He reaches back and finds his old, black, flying-v electric guitar strapped to his back. He removes it just in time to block the next sword blow, but the enemy is too strong and the sword is pushing the guitar back towards his face. As a last desperation attempt, he kicks the thing in the stomach, doubling it over, then pulls back with his guitar, hitting it in the face and sending its skull flying across the terrain.

R3 - "Phew!"

But to his dismay, the body keeps on charging - swinging wildly. Randy merely does his best to keep distance between himself and the thing, but he grows tired a lot faster than it does. Panting for air, he pulls himself up onto a large rock that the sword swings cannot reach. Pulling himself back from the ledge, he gasps for air, trying to get his bearings, but the skeleton has started climbing! He's trapped with nowhere to go.

R3 - "Well, it was a good run old friend." *to the guitar* "Might as well play ourselves off stage..."

Randy strums the opening riff to "Smoke on the Water," since it's the first thing to come to mind and he has it completely committed to muscle memory. He closes his eyes as the skeleton approaches, awaiting his final demise, but the opposite happens. Little yellow death stars begin flying from the guitar, piercing the skeleton and cutting him into a million pieces. Everything is quiet again.

R3 - "Well that's uh... yeah that just happened..."

He hops down from the rock-cliff and looks at the tiny pieces of skeleton that litter the ground. He picks up the broad sword and tucks it into the strap on his back, just in case. A sword is a sword, right? He surveys the terrain, and sees that the only place he can go is INTO the creepy, dark cave of death. A few steps into the cave the darkness is gone, as pits of fire and lava line the walls, leaving a narrow walkway down the center, obviously leading to something bigger at the end of the tunnel.

R3 - "YOLO, AMIRITE?!"

He charges full steam ahead until he runs into a pair of the same skele-warriors from outside. Without hesitation he begins strumming "Smoke on the Water" and again the little yellow death stars eviscerate the warrior-dudes. Their swords fell into the lava however, or he would have picked them up as well. One dropped its wallet though, oddly enough. He scavenges it.

R3 - "Hey, five bucks!"

He continues down the hallway, killing skeleton after skeleton until he reaches the big room that he's been working towards the whole time. It's a vast expanse of a room, likened to a train terminal, but with fire and lava. A huge flaming chandelier hangs from the ceiling, shooting sparks everywhere, showering them down to the ground. He stops in awe of the room, amazed at the natural beauty (and death-ness) of it all.

Suddenly in a bright flash of light, a huge figure appears. It's the man with Fire Hands from his dream on the airplane a few weeks back! The giant stands twenty feet tall, and is broader than a double wide trailer. In a cage behind the flaming demon is the same woman he saw in that same dream, previously chained to the fire-handed-bandit. Randy immediately charges, but before he gets anywhere close to the thing, he gets bitch-slapped back across the room, crashing into the volcanic wall behind him.

Demon - "We finally meet, face to face, Randall. I've awaited this moment for a long, long time."

He shakes it off and assumes a confident stance. He makes up his mind and heads back towards the beast, much more cautiously this time. He reaches a safe distance and begins strumming "Smoke on the Water" again but the stars pass right through the demons flaming legs. The demon laughs.

Demon - "You cannot hurt me, earthling. I am not of your realm, and in turn, you are no match for me. I will destroy you, and claim your soul, as the deal was intended so very long ago. Mwahahahaha!"

Randy surveys the room, looking for any sign of weakness. The woman in the cage screams.

Woman - "His head! That's the only solid part of his body!"

Demon - "Shut up, bitch!"

The demon kicks the cage, sending it sprawling across the room. The woman tumbles with it. Randy takes in his new found knowledge, and immediately comes up with a plan.

R3 - "Come and get me, flamer!"

The demon again laughs as it begins stalking him across the room. Randy waits until the thing has reached the center of the room, and pulls out the broad sword from his back-strap, and hurls it as hard as he can at the chandelier, cutting it loose and sending it plunging down on top of the demon. His head is crushed to the floor. He begins struggling to get out from under it, but faster than he can do that, Randy is standing near his head and begins shredding the sickest solo that's ever been shred, sending waves upon waves upon waves of tiny little death stars into the head of the demon, not stopping until his head looks like a puddle of vomit and broken piñatas. The demon and flames fade away, then the lava, then the whole cave, leaving only Randy and the woman in the cage.

Woman - "Help me!"

Randy slowly moves to the cage, and as he reaches it, realizes that he knows this woman. He looks deep into her eyes.

R3 - "Mom?!"

Woman - "Randall..."

RRIIIIIINNNNNGGGG!!!!! RRIIIIIINNNNNGGGG!!!!!

Randy sits up in his bed, startled from his slumber by the cell phone ringing next to his bed. He wipes his eyes and shakes out the cobwebs before answering it.

R3 - "Hello?"

? - "Randy, it's your father. I got your voice mail. I understand you have some questions..."

End.