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Thread: Grim Reviews Random Games

  1. #21
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    Re: Grim Reviews Random Games

    SplatterHouse



    Released:
    November, 1988 (JP (ARC))
    1989 (NA (ARC))
    April 6, 1990 (JP (TG16))
    April 21, 1990 (NA (TG16))

    Console: Arcade
    TurboGrafx-16

    Developer: Namco

    Nickname: SplatterHouse Original

    Plot: It's a dark and stormy night... Rick Taylor and his girlfriend Jennifer must seek shelter in the controversial West Mansion, as they are a long ways away from their college, Miskatonic University. As they enter, CRASH, BOOM, they are suddenly attacked, and Rick is left for dead... mortally wounded, Rick is thrown in the basement of the cabin next to West Mansion. He then meets an ancient mask, known as The Terror Mask, who combines with Rick to revive him, and now back from the dead, Rick is on a rampage and wants to find his girlfriend to save her from the house of horrors. 7/10



    Gameplay:
    SplatterHouse is one of the earlier violent games around. It's a 2D Beat 'Em Up game that runs along on one solitary plane, though it doesn't detract from the game. It's very basic and monotonous, but it never stops being fun! Throughout the game, Rick will have to fight all sorts of monsters, while also dealing with pitfalls, spikes along water, tricks and traps as well, along with maaaaaybe a few doppelgangers along the way. In the arcade version, forward is key, you have to keep moving forward, otherwise this mist will kill you instantly. Yeah, bullshit I know, but it keeps the tension perfectly.

    One thing this game really does in stripes is the bosses. Sure, the first two bosses aren't anything to sweat over, but Biggy Man in stage three holds no prisoners and from there the bosses are pretty unrelenting. There's strategies to use when actually fighting the bosses that make them easier and help extend your life for the most part. I think my favorite is Stage 4's boss, which in the Arcade version is an upside down crucifix. YOU FIGHT A GOD DAMN INVERTED CROSS! SIGN ME UP BITCHES!

    Perhaps the best part of this game is its (albeit not even explained in the TG-16 Version) story. The story is for the most part left up to the player's imagination until stage 5... where it takes an incredibly dark and twisted turn. Hell, the ending of the game is perhaps the most depressing ending to a video game on the planet.



    That image doesn't really explain much, but to those who've beaten it, they know what I'm talking about. SplatterHouse is a great game to play on the weekends and is hella hard. There's a reason it's one of Namco's most underrated franchises, okay?

    There's very distinct differences in the Japanese Arcade version and the American Turbo-Grafx version. One major difference is the color of the mask, which was changed from a hockey mask white, to a Mayan mask red (For obvious reasons, you Jason fans.), and the general tone-down of the gore and violence, though that may actually have less to do with censorship, and more on hardware limitations (After all, they were going from a fully 16-bit Arcade machine to a partially 16-bit console with 8-bit CPU.). The second difference is the music used. Yeah, some of the music from the Arcade music was cut from the TG16 version or rehashed in a different way, and the overall quality was degraded, but hey, Stage 4's first level music was much better than the original's, so it's a mixed bag for me.

    Perhaps the biggest difference is the Stage 4 Boss, which in the Arcade version, I gloss over and drool for the Inverted Cross, while the TG16 version has some random blue head... or some shit.



    They both play the same, but it's just not as cool... also removed is the religious imagery in the very same stage, which leads to something of a WTF moment in the TG16 version after beating the blue... head of... something or another-jigger. There's church music that plays, and a swell of tense music proceeding, but that's all lost on the American audiences since there SHOULD be a scream in there as well, but y'know... 8-bit CPU.

    Perhaps my biggest pet peeve in this game is the incredible clusterfuck of the first level in stage 6...



    WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!!! WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BUBBLES THAT SPAWN INTO ENEMIES JUST TO FUCK YOUR DAY UP!!! This level is an incredible bitch, so you better expect to die... A LOT.


    Overall, SplatterHouse is a finely tuned game, play wise. The game doesn't get boring whether you're on the Arcade or TG16 version. You should expect to be pumping quarters into that f-ing machine if you ever play, because you'll be addicted until the very end. 7/10


    Visuals: For the most part, as you can see with the pictures, the game looks very solid for a 16-bit game. SplatterHouse is very much appealing with it's gory display, and vibrant, yet dark contrasts all throughout. All I can fairly say is that for a 16-bit game, there has been a hell of a lot better, but for damn sure there's miles upon miles of worse looking games than this. 7/10



    Audio:
    Jesus, you wanna talk about some decent music? SplatterHouse has it and then some. The Arcade version is expertly crafted and addicting to listen to. I'm not sure whether I like "I Will Find You" or "This Story is Happy End?" more. So here's a rare treat, two themes for the quality of one!



    From pulse pounding and discordantly destructive, to hauntingly beautiful and extremely melancholic, SplatterHouse offers all facets of music to please the ears. 9/10



    Final Thoughts:
    SplatterHouse isn't the best game by any means, any fan of the series will tell you that. But the game delivers enough of the goods to make it more than mediocre. It's worth the time to play, but not worth replaying thousands of times if you've already beaten it, I'd leave that to Clock Tower: First Fear.

    Final Grade: 7.5/10


    (Hey guys, this is Grim here, just wanting to apologize for the extreme lateness of this review, there's honestly no excuse for my constant procrastination, so I thought I'd just get it the fuck done and be over with SplatterHouse.)

    Next Time:

    The Belmonts are back in town!

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  2. #22
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    Re: Grim Reviews Random Games

    I love your reviews. Demons Crest is so awesome it hurts. Have you played Gargoyles Quest on Gameboy? It came out before Demons Crest. Same hero.

  3. #23
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    Re: Grim Reviews Random Games

    Quote Originally Posted by indyfan View Post
    I love your reviews. Demons Crest is so awesome it hurts. Have you played Gargoyles Quest on Gameboy? It came out before Demons Crest. Same hero.
    I'm very well familiar with the Gargoyle's Quest/Demon's Crest Trilogy, and I have not been able to receive the joy of playing Gargoyle's Quest. I have, however, played II on the NES when I was much younger, though I don't have much memory of it. I should probably play it again sometime soon.
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  4. #24
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    Re: Grim Reviews Random Games

    Super CastleVania IV



    Released:
    October 31, 1991 (JP)
    December 4, 1991 (NA)
    November 23, 1992 (EU)

    Console: Super Nintendo

    Developer: Konami

    Nickname:
    Super CastleVania

    Plot: EVIL LURKS IN THE DARKNESS...

    In the countryside of Transylvania, in the nation of Walachia, Dracula has come back to life. This is not an unusual occurrence, as he revives ever 100 years, when the forces of good wane and the dark cults gather. However, every time Dracula rises, he is stopped by the Belmont clan of vampire hunters.

    It has been 100 years since the last Belmont, Christopher, has defeated Dracula. Now, it is Simon Belmont's time to stop the evil reign of the dark prince. Through extensive training, Simon has learned the secrets of his Vampire Killer whip, handed down from generation to generation of the Belmont clan.

    Simon must traverse the countryside, getting rid of the evil of Dracula's curse upon the land. The people of Walachia have placed their last hopes on the brave Belmont. Will he succeed, or will Dracula finally enact his plan to take over Europe, like he once planned in 1476? 9/10



    Gameplay: Returning to it's origins, SUPER (Because there isn't anything more special than super~! Except maybe Ultra.) CastleVania IV goes linear like the first game in the series. However, there are so many differences to outline, and just so little time! First change is that Simon got a hell of a lot better at his craft. Y-YOU CAN WHIP DIAGONAL!!! DIAGONAL!!!!!!!! Oh, and straight up, and all sorts of parlay tricks. The point is, you can whip in any direction you want to now. That's a plus.



    With the reorientation of the whip comes new exploratory options and gadgets. Such as using the whip to swing yourself from platform to platform! Yes, despite what a lot of people say, they really do make good use of the whip's new capabilities. There are all sorts of things you need to use your whip for. Whether it be swinging or dangling as a room spins completely, or leaping from rung to rung in a great chasm, to being lifted by a rotating chain. There's so much you need to do. 'Nother plus in my book.

    More levels, and more things to experiment with. You've got levels that are a straight run with tricks and traps, and you have levels that require a crud ton of jumping! There is so much variety in this game. All the levels have unique designs and get extremely challenging by the time you reach the end of the game. Seriously, the room before Dracula is possibly the hardest boss-rush you will ever encounter. That is just one thing that is completely better here too. The difficulty is no longer about memorization, it's all about skill now. No more cheap deaths. The only reason you die is because you mess up, plain and simple. Trust me though, you'll die... a lot. It just isn't CastleVania without lots of dying now is it?



    With big improvements, CastleVania IV is purely the best, gameplay-wise, out of the entire series. Just because Simon got a little better, doesn't mean that the game got easier. Nope. You can jump onto stairs, moonwalk on them, and all sorts of stuff, but there will always be an enemy there to stop you dead in your tracks. 10/10

    Visuals:
    For an early SNES title, this game is FUCKING GORGEOUS. There is not a single game, (Demon's Crest, Clock Tower, and Tales of Phantasia exempt) that can match the quality that Konami placed in this game. I mean, Simon looks just bad-ass, the monsters are beautifully rendered. There's Mode 7 at it's finest with the twisting backgrounds. The levels are designed magnificently, and above all else, it is simply pleasing to look at. CastleVania IV is a beautiful fucking game. 10/10



    Audio: Holy crap, CastleVania IV delivers in spades. Perhaps the best soundtrack on the SNES thanks in part to it's kicking atmospheric music and mind-melting catchy music. It's one thing when you got a major theme everyone knows in your game. It's another thing to use the premium themes from it's three predecessors in the NES titles, and make them even BETTER than the originals!!! FUCKING GENIUS!!!!!! The music makes you ready to take a whip and travel to Transylvania. WHIP IT BITCHES! Perhaps it's best to say CastleVania IV's music is a pure orgasm to the ear. 10/10




    Final Thoughts: Though I love Akumajou Densetsu partially more than CastleVania IV, it's fair to say, that CastleVania IV is the better game, hands down. Everything about it is meshed to a tee. The gameplay, visuals, and audio tell the whole story. This game, is one of the best of all time, and not only that, is the single sine qua non of the Super Nintendo.

    Final Grade: 10/10



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    Last edited by Grim; 02-15-2015 at 09:24 PM.
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  5. #25
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    Re: Grim Reviews Random Games

    Fantasy Life



    Released:
    December 27, 2012 (JP)
    September 26, 2014 (EU)
    September 27, 2014 (AU)
    October 24, 2014 (NA)

    Console:
    Nintendo 3DS

    Developer: Level-5, Brownie Brown, h.a.n.d.

    Genre:
    RPG

    Plot: Reveria, the world as we know it. In Reveria, every person has a Life to choose. The time has finally come for you to choose your Life. As you get your license, you meet a talking butterfly (No, I'm not joking.) being hassled by local ruffians Butch and Pierre. On your way, you are welcomed to your new Life by Erik, King of Castele. One day, a meteorite smashes into the roof of your home, which is dubbed, "Doomstones" by locals, and sets off a series of events once told in ancient folklore... ​ 7/10



    Gameplay:
    Fantasy Life is in the best way I can put it, is if Little King's Story and Animal Crossing had a child and it was an RPG. That's the best way to put it. The game fluidly moves and the choices are so nicely open-ended. You can choose between 12 lives: Paladin, Mercenary, Angler, Tailor, Magician, Alchemist, Cook, Miner, Hunter, Woodcutter, Carpenter, and Blacksmith. It's amazing the difference between a lot of the classes are. I chose Mercenary, because mercenaries are awesome (deal with it.) Now, you can switch them out at any time, and you actually retain the skills you earn from your previous Life, but they level up slower. This is gonna be very useful information when playing through the game: As you rank up, you will be able to use better weapons and armor, and the only way to rank up is getting enough stars. Those I'll talk about later.



    Starting off, I thought the dialogue was jilted and... well... boring. Later on as the game went on, I started to like it (except for the butterfly that acts like Navi/Tatl from Zelda, right down to following you around) it was a fairly modern take on the "fantasy" style of dialogue. I even found myself saying, "Very clever game, you so very clever." Oh yeah, the dialogue is very friendly to the modern brains of ours, so we don't have much problem getting the humor in it. Dialogue gets a pass from me.



    Customization of your house is exactly why I say it's like Animal Crossing. As the game progresses, you can actually be able to buy larger houses and also buy furniture, flooring, walls, etc, etc. It's amazing the similarities between Animal Crossing, and Fantasy Life. You can even get your hair changed in the game... yeah, I know, so similar.

    Combat is really where the game slightly missteps, but it isn't too bad. Right off the bat, you can be faced with some pretty hard enemies, plus one that can kill you in one hit. However, you shouldn't worry much, they can be avoided. To strike enemies, you need to press the A-button to equip your weapon, then attack using the A-button again. The Y-button blocks attacks, and Power moves take some charging up to do, but you can walk around actually to avoid being hit while they are charging. It's a bit of a redundant system, but eh, I wasn't expecting much for an RPG game of this style, just something similar Little King's Story (Man I'm comparing this game to a lot of others aren't I?)

    There's four main point systems in this game, which I'll actually give it credit for being original in this sense. There is the Dosh system, which is basically currency of Fantasy Life. You gain Dosh from killing enemies, doing quests, collecting bounties, and selling things at shops. You can use the Dosh to buy whatever you need, and trust me, you're going to need a lot of Dosh. Second is the Star System, which is a near requirement to get better at your Life. You gain Stars from doing challenges that the Life Master gives to you. Complete enough of them, and you rank up. Simple enough, right? Thirdly comes the Bliss. Bliss is basically how happy you are with life. You gain Bliss from doing activities like story stuff and discovering new places and areas. Bliss gives you bonuses which are often preeeeetty nice. The final system really doesn't need an explanation, as it's your basic EXP. system, right?

    Overall, Fantasy Life is a very promising game with very fluid gameplay. It's very open-ended, meaning you can take your time, go at your own pace. Much like Animal Crossing! It's a hell of a way to kill a Saturday Evening, anyways. 8/10



    Visuals: I very much do like the art of the game. It's a very... toony style not seen often in RPG games. It flows very fluently and is nice to look at. I really enjoy how the game looks and it totally has my attention. The detail on characters is a little bit to be desired, but landscape, enemies, and objects are finely detailed. I often find myself wondering if this is modern times if electronic technology didn't exist. Either way, it's a nice looking game. 9/10


    Audio: The music is something that I tend to stop and listen to when it's the right music, and at times try my fastest to get out of the area so I don't have to listen to it. There's great themes, and then there's not so memorable ones. Very meh in the department of music, but the sounds are nice. Bit choppy, but still nice. That doesn't ruin the game for me. The music is definitely not bad, but could have been better... then again, we aren't talking Little King's Story here. 7/10



    Final Thoughts:
    Fantasy Life is a good game. It's a nice romp through an RPG style that has cheeky humor and a "Go at your own pace" style of play. The story can wait until you level up more, and that's what I like about it. Customization and Animal Crossing style play also are a plus in my book. Overall, Fantasy Life is definitely a should-buy for your 3DS collection.

    Final Grade: 8/10



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  6. #26
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    Re: Grim Reviews Random Games

    Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney



    Released:
    October 11, 2001 (Japan (Gameboy Advance))
    September 15, 2005 (Japan (Nintendo DS))
    October 12, 2005 (NA (Nintendo DS))
    March 16, 2006 (EU (Nintendo DS))
    March 8, 2007 (AU (Nintendo DS))

    Platforms: Gameboy Advance (Japan Only)
    Nintendo DS
    WiiWare
    Windows (Japan Only)
    iOS
    Nintendo 3DS

    Developers: Capcom

    Genre: Adventure/Visual Novel



    Plot: Your name is Phoenix Wright. Today is your very first trial as a public defender. The person you're defending is a childhood friend and man with completely bad luck, Larry Butz. He has been accused of murdering his ex-girlfriend Cindy Stone. It's up to you and your teacher, Mia Fey, to prove Butz's innocence! However, it appears that there are darker things afoot after this case is completed... Much, much, darker things. 9/10

    Gameplay: It's finally feels good to talk about this game! The Ace Attorney series has always been one of my favorite franchises in gaming, right behind CastleVania and Resident Evil. I'm pretty much gonna say right here and now that this game is fucking great. Great controls, hilarious dialogue, beastly intensity, and just enough mystery to keep you on your feet.

    Right off the bat, the game is quite dialogue driven, but that doesn't make it boring in the least. In fact, it probably has some of the best dialogue you will see in gaming ever. period. The dialogue had been very well localized for North American culture references, and god-damn do they work! Each character has very specific dialogue, and you generally have a very good grasp of who is who, even the lovable judge has some funny dialogue at times. All I can say is the dialogue right off the bat is perfect.



    Then comes the actual trials, where the game is really centered around. In the case, you basically listen to the testimony given out by the witnesses, then you cross-examine. In cross-examination, you can choose to press them on a statement made, or present evidence on a contradiction in the testimony. Pretty simple, but things get really subtle as the game goes on, making it really hard to object without making faults. If you make five faults, the case is over and you lose. Simple as that really. The cases are splendidly done and masterfully crafted to be quite intense and engaging. You want to win because you want to see your client innocent, because he IS innocent! Isn't that a drive you can get behind? Oh, can I also say it feels really good to make witnesses freak out? Hehe...



    The whole second part of the game is Investigation Mode. In this mode, you are investigating crime scenes, going around talking to witnesses, and finding clues. This mode is why it is indeed an adventure game. It feels like a quest to collect evidence and prove their innocence! Plus the funny dialogue continues even in this mode. As you get farther into the game, cases become harder and harder to investigate, which makes a lot of sense.

    This game has a great system that would continue to be used throughout the series, but in my opinion, none of them had perfection of Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney. In fact, in my opinion, the gameplay became more and more muddied with more mechanics being introduced (with the sole exception of Phoenix Wright vs. Professor Layton) in every game afterwards. 10/10



    Visuals: Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney has in my opinion a splendid array of visuals. Every character is drawn to minute details, their actions, and how they portray themselves are awesome. Phoenix just looks like that lovable dope, doesn't he~? The scenes are well made, and everything looks and feels great. Perfect visuals, and there is nothing wrong with it for me! 10/10

    Audio: This is probably the high point of Ace Attorney. The music is simply gorgeous. It ranges from soft and melodic, to pulse-pounding and intense, all the way to completely ballistic! This music exemplifies why music in a game is extremely important when telling a story as well! All the music gets my personal stamp of approval, especially Cornered. 10/10



    Final Thoughts:
    Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney is one of the few games that fully gets me grasping the story being told and thirsty for more. The whole lore behind the series is also extremely complex, making it a lot to digest! This game is worth the buy in the Trilogy version for $15 bucks on 3DS-ware. Everything about the game is nearly perfect and it has the honor of being one of my specially stamped perfect games.

    Final Grade: 10/10



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    Last edited by Grim; 02-19-2015 at 12:37 PM.
    "First the alien, Then the Jew...
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  7. #27
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    Re: Grim Reviews Random Games

    So when does Grim review Grim Fandango?


    RIP Bradley

  8. #28
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    Re: Grim Reviews Random Games

    Quote Originally Posted by Mikk View Post
    So when does Grim review Grim Fandango?
    when I buy the game.
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  9. #29
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    Re: Grim Reviews Random Games

    I need to buy it too now its been re-released on the PS4


    RIP Bradley

  10. #30
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    CastleVania: Bloodlines (The New Generation in Europe)



    Console: SEGA Genesis (MegaDrive in Japan)

    Released: March 17, 1994 (NA)
    March 18, 1994 (JP)
    March 20, 1994 (PAL)

    Publisher: Konami

    Genre: Action Platformer

    Plot: War has broken out all across Europe. It's 1917 and the Great War has ravaged most of the land, with all the chaos, death, and destruction, evil forces use this opportunity to attempt to revive the evil dark lord, Dracula, in order to wreak evil throughout the world. However, John Morris, current wielder of the Belmont's Vampire Killer Whip, and close friend, Eric Lecarde, holder of the Alcarde Spear, stop at nothing to prevent the resurrection of evil, and to stop Elizabeth Bartley (Dracula's niece) from gaining power. 7/10



    Gameplay:
    Being the basic successor to CastleVania IV, behind Rondo of Blood/Dracula X, you would have suspected that Bloodlines followed the same gameplay. Sadly, I must say, no game that followed IV would use the same style again. However, Bloodlines definitely has its quirks and differences to make it stand out as a worthy title all it's own. Our first difference is the addition of two playable characters, akin to CastleVania III/Akumajou Densetsu! John Morris is your basic whip character, who unlike Simon in IV, can only whip 4 directions. Left, Right, and Diagonal (only when jumping), meaning he's a rather limited character. The plus side is that he has an extra upgrade to the whip which deals far more damage (lost after taking a hit). John, like Simon in IV, can also swing, however, it's usually from ceilings and platforms, instead of rings, however, the downside is that he cannot swing back, so time your jumps.

    Eric Lecarde is a much different character. Eric has a spear that he can shoot both forward, and upwards while standing still. Plus, if you kneel for a few seconds, then jump when Eric blinks, he can do a super jump upwards, useful for jumping several platforms at once. So already, he seems like a better character, right? You would be right, however, I give the point to John for his whip upgrade and overall stats.

    The setting of Bloodlines is actually very unique. Instead of taking place in one remote area, Bloodlines takes place throughout all of Europe, from Dracula's Castle in Romania, to Greece, to Italy, to Germany, to France, and finally to England! The level designs for each level also makes them unique from one another in every sense of the word. Greece is that of rising water traps and ruins. Italy is that of the Leaning Tower of Pisa, and Germany is a munitions factory! Yes, each level was meticulously designed for the landscape and era in mind. Even France has Versailles in the level design for God's sake! How can you say no to that?

    The boss fights are all actually fairly balanced. Each boss has a strength, and a weakness, and a certain spot to hit, and a precise pattern. The player has to discern each one, and beat the boss. The only boss that in my opinion is a bit of a bastard is Death. This time around, Death has freaking cards which make you fight the bosses ALL over again! Doesn't that sound fun, right!? No. I didn't think so.



    The game has everything in it to simply make it, "Another ClassicVania game" but it has enough uniqueness and the accolade of being the only Genesis/Mega Drive CastleVania game to make it different from its predecessors in the gameplay department. 9/10


    Visuals: Once again, CastleVania does its work and looks like a freakin' masterpiece compared to any other game on any other system of its time. Bloodlines uses bright colors and fanciful styles of level design to make very pretty to look at and... is that blood? Yeah, this is one of the very few CastleVania games to actually have blood! The visuals also nearly break the system for it's almost mind melting graphics, beautifully placed in every detail, enemy, and item in the game. 9/10



    Audio:
    CastleVania, regardless of the game, will always have great music. Bloodlines delivers that Genesis sound and then some, breaking almost everything that had been done before it! Reincarnated Soul, and Iron Blue Intention are probably some of the best pulse-pounding tracks in the entire series, and almost comes close to contention in legend to Theme of Simon from CastleVania IV. Isn't that something! Even the sound effects break the effing system to shreds! 9/10




    Final Thoughts: CastleVania Bloodlines is like a younger brother to Super CastleVania IV, while not the original, it took a few of the ideas it had, added them in, and made a few edits to make themselves unique to the counterpart. It's definitely worth $10-$15 for a cartridge, and I think you'll have yourselves something to do for a few days! It's up there with the best of them, and it remains a very unique take on the CastleVania name!

    Final Grade: 8.5/10


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  11. #31
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    Re: Grim Reviews Random Games

    Big Rigs: Over The Road Racing



    Console: Windows

    Released: November 20, 2003

    Publisher: GameMill Publishing

    Genre: Racing

    Plot: . . . What... You expected a plot to a racing game!? Shame on you! 1/10



    Gameplay:
    Do... Do I really have to..? Fine... (I hate you boss.) What we have here is a game so terrible, writing words for it is unspeakably hard. You'd think a racing game would be alright... but... this... "thing" isn't even a game!!! It's an unfinished product meant to be thrown out with a budget of less than $15,000 Dollars! What the hell!?!? I'll just cruise through this via the lazy way and give bullet points as to what's wrong with this piece of shit.


    • The other vehicle doesn't even move. (Unless you got a patch for the game.)
    • Poor Collision detection makes you CRUISE through buildings!
    • Reverse is endless!!! You just keep going faster and faster!!!
    • Some maps don't work, others are buggy as fuck. (They couldn't even make WATER textures!!!)
    • You give Isaac Newton the glorified Middle Finger as you SCALE 90* slopes!
    • You're always winner. Never lose.
    • You can ESCAPE the map and traverse through the untextured confines of space!


    You got all that? Good. I'm not going over it again. Please don't make me go into detail, my brain might rot from the filth of this game. 2/10

    Visuals:
    Leave it to this game to look awful, just AWFUL. Poor graphics, especially for 2003, when we've seen Resident Evil REmake look like a fucking masterpiece. Bad textures, missing textures, photoshopped images, blatantly misplaced tail-lights, blah blah blah. This game looks fucking HORRID!!! 3/10

    Audio:
    You want music? Too bad. You get NOTHING. Well, except for the ugly drone of the engine and truck. What did you expect? Junko Tamiya or David Wise? Nope. Too bad. They didn't even ATTEMPT to give this game some life. Just sad...

    Final Thoughts: Don't play it. Nope, nope, nope, nope. If you're gonna play it, do it to laugh in spite. Otherwise you're wasting good pennies for shit.

    Final Grade: 2/10

    Next Time:

    We finally get to the House of Residing Evil!!!
    Last edited by Grim; 04-20-2015 at 01:32 PM.
    "First the alien, Then the Jew...
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  12. #32
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    Re: Grim Reviews Random Games

    Dude, you have to review Blackthorn, original Syndicate on pc/mac or Golgo 13 on nes.

    Keep up the good work. I love these classic reviews!!!!

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    Re: Grim Reviews Random Games

    I have Thorne on my list and will add The other two to it. That raises my list to about 300 requests!

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  14. #34
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    Re: Grim Reviews Random Games

    Resident Evil: REmake (Biohazard in Japan)



    Console:
    Gamecube (2002)
    Wii (2008)
    Xbox 360 (2014)
    PlayStation 3 (2014)
    Windows (2015)
    Xbox One (2015)
    PlayStation 4 (2015)

    Released:

    (GameCube)
    March 22, 2002 (JP)
    April 30, 2002 (NA)
    September 13, 2002 (EU)

    (Wii)
    December 28, 2008 (JP)
    June 23, 2009 (NA)
    June 25, 2009 (AUS)
    June 26, 2009 (EU)

    (Xbox 360 & PS3)
    November 27, 2014 (JP)

    (PS 4, Xbox One, Windows)
    January 20, 2015 (WW)

    Publisher: Capcom

    Genre: Survival Horror

    Plot: July 24, 1998: STARS Alpha Team is flying around the forest zone of northwest Raccoon City, known as the Arklay Mountains, in search of Bravo Team, who went missing during their mission to investigate several cannibalistic murders throughout the area. In the squad is Chris Redfield: Sharpshooter, Jill Valentine: Rear Security, Barry Burton: Weapon's Expert, Albert Wesker: Captain, Joseph Frost: Maintenance, and Brad Vickers: Pilot. Upon finding the derelict Bravo Helicopter, Joseph happens upon the body of fellow RPD police officer Kevin Dooley inside, mangled from an apparent attack.

    Upon further investigation, Joseph is suddenly attacked and subsequently killed by a pack of dogs. The rest of the team retreats when Brad (Who doesn't deal well with violence) runs away with the helicopter. Finding no other alternative, the rest of Alpha Team manages to make it to a mansion in the middle of nowhere... the dogs outside are the least of their problems, however... 10/10



    Gameplay: ​Resident Evil makes it's grand return with this remake/reboot of the series!!! It keeps much of the gameplay mechanics that the original Resident Evil had in 1996. However, considering I have not gotten to it in my reviews, let me explain it to you.

    The history of Resident Evil actually goes back 7 years before it was created, in 1989, with the release of Sweet Home. That's right, Resident Evil was originally intended to be a remake of the masterpiece, Sweet Home. Isn't that some interesting stuff? Alright, I'll get to the gameplay, jeez!

    Resident Evil's control scheme is that of "tank" controls. Much like in tank games (hence it's freaking name), the direction your character is facing determines where your character moves. Alright? The game has an intensity like no other. Using adventure style thematic mixed with a brilliant horror setting, this one is as unsettling as the original Silent Hill.



    Taking from the original is the story, setting, and many of the same puzzles, but REmake adds a whole lot more onto that layer. There are several new things that make this an absolute masterpiece. The biggest one being IMPROVED VOICE-ACTING!!!!! Another fun addition is more to explore in the mansion and different tricks and traps. Plus, we have the addition of two cult classic enemies: Lisa Trevor, the girl who took every virus, and Crimson Heads, a mutant of the regular zombie.

    Killing zombies in this one now becomes even more intense since the addition of Crimson Heads doesn't allow them to STAY dead. After half an hour or so, real time, our recently deceased petrified folk see new life as are faster and deadlier than before, able to CLEAVE down other zombies just to nom lovingly on your warm neck.

    Also new is the defense item mechanic. Throughout the mansion you will come across several daggers or battery packs (If you're Jill) or Flash Grenades (If you're Chris). These can be used to prevent an enemy from dealing damage to you if you are grabbed or tackled. Be careful though, they are in limited quantity, and can be lost easily. So best advice is to not get attacked.

    The puzzles from the original game are back and better than ever, improved to be mind-bending quips that test speed, pattern-finding, and wits, you'll find that some are much harder than you can comprehend (Almost like the water test from Resident Evil 3...) so a good strategy guide should be near you always in times of trouble.

    Saving is a feature for the weak... or the smart. I dunno. Either way, unless you're going for that "best" ending and best time, I suggest you save often, because dying really is a hazard you don't want to have to deal with when you can't return to where you were. This is one of those games that exemplify making you save, no auto-save will help you now. Plus, with a limited number of times you can save, you better mean it when you're saving.

    Now, you can either choose to play as Jill or Chris, and each has their own uniqueness (unlike Leon and Claire in RE2...). Jill is physically weaker (as goes the stereotype with women...) and thus takes more damage, but, she starts out with the handgun, lock-pick, and two extra inventory spaces. Sounds like a pretty sweet deal on that one. Chris however, while stronger and able to take less damage, needs to find small keys to unlock things, and also gets the handgun later. Plus, no two extra inventory. Damning much? There are actually EIGHT different difficulty settings in the remastered REmake, while there are only 6 in the Gamecube version:

    Gamecube:

    Hard w/ Chris: Very Hard Mode (Unlockable)
    Hard w/ Jill: Hard Mode (Unlockable)
    Mountain Climbing w/ Chris: Hard Mode
    Mountain Climbing w/ Jill: Normal Mode
    Hike w/ Chris: Normal Mode
    Hike w/ Jill: Easy Mode

    REmaster:

    Walking w/ Chris: Easy Mode
    Walking w/ Jill: Beginner's Mode

    Yes yes, confusing I know, but I'm always here to help you. Just remember Mountain Climbing is normal mode and Hiking mode is easy, alright? Good.

    As you're walking around, like in any Resident Evil game, you'll find several items that are paramount to your survival, where they go is important and it is up to you to find them before it's too late. Like any Survival Horror Game, right? There's also files that reveal more to the story than what was originally thought. It's better to immerse yourself in the experience and read them through.

    New to this game are three extra special modes!!! We have Real Survival, which is an even harder mode of hard mode Literally. Auto-Aim is turned off, there are less ammo/healing items, and the item boxes no longer are linked, making them each separate... causing a LOT of backtracking.

    Then there is One Dangerous Zombie...



    Let's just say Forest brought a few extra friends to the party. In this mode, Forest appears at random in several rooms, strapped to the brim with freaking GRENADES that kill you instantly if you shoot or use a defense item against him. Yes, he's that scary. In fact, if you beat the game with this mode on, you can actually use it in the other two special modes. Doesn't that sound fun... if you're masochistic...

    Finally, there's Invisible Enemy mode... exactly as it sounds... Yeah, the ultimate mode, and the epitome of survival. Good Luck trying to beat this one... so here's a gif to show you what you're getting into!



    So this is what the REmake has to offer. Great challenge, several difficulty levels, multiple endings (Oh shit I didn't mention that one), good controls, iconic enemies and scenes, and three extra fun modes for triple the agony! (Can you imagine what Real Survival with Invisible Enemies and One Dangerous Zombie would be like!?) 10/10

    Visuals: Oh my god, this game may be 13 years old, but I'll be damned if there is a better looking game than this. Aesthetically, this is the most beautifully creepy and rendered game I have ever seen. There is nearly nothing that compares to this, and the REmaster version makes this look even MORE gorgeous. Good Christ, I think it is safe to cal Resident Evil REmake that best aged game of all time. I mean there is nothing in today's graphical gaming that compares to this masterpiece. 10/10



    Audio: Perfect ambient settings are what this music is. In a creepy hallway? Get grim music. In the forest? Ambiance!!! In the safe room? You get one of the best soft video game pieces ever written, "Safe Haven". I'm not joking. The music is simply perfect for this game, and the tense moments are even made better because of this. There's nothing like a great game, without some great music to accompany it~! 10/10




    Final Thoughts: Okay, so yes, I love this game. You should too! It's the best Survival Horror experience behind Fatal Frame and Silent Hill 1 & 2 to date. It's all worth the $20-30 you'll plug into it, because hey, it's the best remake of all time to a video game, and it took what failed in the original (bad-voice acting... mostly) and made it BETTER!!! Worth every cent. Plus, who wouldn't wanna see Jill Valentine lookin' sexier than ever!!!


    (I'll just leave this here~)

    Final Grade: 10/10


    Next Time:


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    I did no more than you let me do."

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  15. #35

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    Re: Grim Reviews Random Games

    Jill can be my rear guard any time. Julia Voth is a goddess for supplying us with her face. The HD REmaster is something I plan on getting soon but fuck doing invisible mode.

    Lisa Trevor, to me, is the most interesting character in the game. Her inclusion makes it more than just a zombie game. Opens your eyes to bioterrorism and human experimentation - and the consequences. I believe poor Lisa was just looking for her mother so she could give her back her face.... Good review for sure and I agree 100 percent although I think graphically it pales in comparison to Revelations 2 but it holds up extremely well. Planning to do a Resident Evil btb soon as well - and Lisa is going to be important in it. Glad she is noticed. Love dis series.

    For a first playthrough, Jill is definitely the way to go. And fuck Crimson Heads.

    Just need a hd remake of RE2 and 3 and 0 now.

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  16. #36
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    Re: Grim Reviews Random Games

    I don't think 0 should get a remake. Just a rerelease with updates to it. The game is perfect as is gameplay wise.

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  17. #37

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    Re: Grim Reviews Random Games

    Yeah, maybe I should say a HD remaster for 0. I forgot Code Veronica too.

    0 was a tough, tough game but I enjoyed being Rebecca. I wish she would appear in more games or tie her and Billys story up. She couldve been Chris' partner in 5 or even somewhere in 6 but shes nowhere to be found. When you think about it, its crazy how many playable main characters there have been.

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  18. #38
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    Re: Grim Reviews Random Games

    The book Caliban Cove really explains what happened to Rebecca. We all should just assume that Billy is still in hiding, though... or got mauled by Cerberus.

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  19. #39

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    Ah ive read the books but ive heard they are not considered to be canon. I wouldnt mind it being canon but Resident Evil is being dragged down by the constant intro of new characters. I think the best new character ive seen is probably Piers... Although his story is finished. Damn 6 gets a lot of hate but storywise its awesome.

    I dont think Billy would die offscreen or anything. I can see him being in hiding but Rebecca exonerated him. Maybe he will appear in future or something. Hopefully theyre back soon... A grown up Rebecca could rival Jill and Claire... Maybe.

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  20. #40
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    Re: Grim Reviews Random Games

    Quote Originally Posted by Shake View Post
    Ah ive read the books but ive heard they are not considered to be canon. I wouldnt mind it being canon but Resident Evil is being dragged down by the constant intro of new characters. I think the best new character ive seen is probably Piers... Although his story is finished. Damn 6 gets a lot of hate but storywise its awesome.

    I dont think Billy would die offscreen or anything. I can see him being in hiding but Rebecca exonerated him. Maybe he will appear in future or something. Hopefully theyre back soon... A grown up Rebecca could rival Jill and Claire... Maybe.

    BROTHER
    She's already sexy enough... just saying, this is just me being adult, but a threesome with Jill and Rebecca (Zero version) would be bombastic.

    In all seriousness though, if she appeared in the next game, which would probably take place shortly after 6, she'd be what... at least 33. So I dunno, it's a possibility.
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