New CWA High Voltage Champion Humanity recently was asked to give his thoughts on winning the new championship. Here he interviewed with a correspondent of CWA.com, Walter Burghoff:

Walter: How does it feel to finally get gold?

Humanity: You know, to me, it feels... strange, but good.

Walter: How does it feel strange, Humanity?

Humanity: Does God need gold to prove his worth?

Both men share a small laugh

Walter: Clever, my man, very clever. Did you ever expect yourself to make it this far?

Humanity: To be honest? No, never did, but... I feel I deserve it, To think I, God had to fight in Bingo Halls, and High School Gyms, even Backyards... It's... almost depressing...

Humanity made a sudden shift in his usual self at this point, and the tension could be felt.

Walter: Humanity... are you alright?

Humanity: It's Brian...

Walter: B-Brian!?

Brian: To understand where I'm going... you have to understand where I've been...

Walter: Where have you been?

Brian: I've been in a personal Hell. This is not Humanity talking anymore, this is Brian, a normal human being with emotions. Where have I been? At a Hospital in St. Paul, Minnesota for the past week, and my life slowly came crumbling down.

Walter: Brian, what are you talking about?

Brian: I'm talking about getting news that a parent of yours passed away from a sudden Heart Attack.

Walter: . . . Brian...

Brian: You sit there, and you ask me, how I feel about winning a title, over losing someone close, frankly, that's unforgivable! Maybe Humanity should teach you a damn lesson! Maybe he'll show you Hell like you've never seen it! I don't see winning a belt as something lucky or great at all! I see wrestling as my sanctuary to hide from the horrors of real life! Now...


I don't see it as that... I can't escape my own Hell, and it festers and eats at me like worms on a corpse. I get sick to my stomach, and I want so badly to cry, but I can't. Do you know what that feels like?

Walter: I... I don't know...

Brian: I'll tell you what it feels like, it feels like a nightmare you can't escape from...

Walter: Wait... quoting Nightmare?

Brian: . . . I have an uneasy feeling, but Humanity will keep on murdering and tearing his opponents limb from limb... but Brian? He has problems to take care of...

Humanity/Brian got up and left almost immediately, signifying that this unnatural and almost incoherent, bizarre, interview was over.

((That's pretty much my way of saying Humanity is going to be gone for a little bit, no worries, He'll miss only two Adrenaline Rush's.))