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Thread: FujiFilm

  1. #41
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    Re: Movie Reviews - See A Movie, Give A Review

    Sounds absolutely abysmal, thus a fun viewing. Good review, dude.

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  2. #42
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    Re: Movie Reviews - See A Movie, Give A Review

    Fatal Games




    At the prestigious Falcon Academy of Athletes, a masked lunatic is stalking and killing the students with a javelin. Can Annie Rivers find out who the killer is in time to stop them and live out her dream of racing in the 1984 Summer Olympics or will she be dead at the gate?


    Another in the long line of 80's slashers featuring teenagers being killed in various states of dress and undress, Fatal Games is notable for a couple of things. One is the incredibly cheesy soundtrack, featuring the super schlocky 80's gem "Take it to the Limit" by some artist whose name I can't remember...yes, they were THAT good! It's also notable for its copious amounts of nudity. Even by 80's slasher standards this one is pretty over the top as virtually every other scene features a pair of tits. Am I complaining about that though? I think not....


    "I swear this is the first time I've ever dropped the soap, can you please pick it up?"

    Yes, that's just one of the myriad boob shots we get in this excellent piece of trash from director Michael Elliot. Believe it or not, this is Elliot's only film and I'm really not surprised considering its one of the worst slashers ever made. It's bad enough when your star is washed up actress Sally Kirkland (best know for The Sting and a long stint on General Hospital) but when you genuinely take no pride in something as simple as the quality of kills you know you've got a stinker on your hands. No offense but stuff like this isn't really going to wow the average horror fan, let alone the discerning one...


    "Hey baby, stick around for awhile!"

    It doesn't help matters that the killers ONLY MO is the use of the javelin. Considering all of the exciting things that one COULD use to knock off these horny athletes (weights, jump ropes, medicine balls, etc.) its kind of stupid to use the same weapon over and over again. I would like to point out that there IS an interesting lesbian subplot in this film that doesn't ever really develop, which is too bad because it would have made it infinitely better if it did. The best thing about the entire film is that the "athletes" spend more time in the sauna and the bedroom than they do training, but I guess the same goes for counsellors in Friday the 13th films right? The film draws towards its conclusion and we are so happy that it's over that we rejoice by listening to "Take it to the Limit" AGAIN!!!


    "I've come from the Fog...wait a minute, wrong movie"

    So to sum it all up I'm going to go on the record right now and say that Fatal Games is the worst of the 80's slashers without a doubt. Of course that means that it is a great watch for bad movie fans everywhere. Besides, there's so much nudity going on in this film that you simply have to watch it to count how many boobs you see by the end. I'll give you a hint...its well into the 'teens! I'd recommend it but I highly doubt you'll be able to find it anywhere, my crappy VHS copy is on its last legs and may not hold out much longer. I do believe the entire movie is available on YouTube and I suggest checking it out for boobage and bad 80's music fans everywhere. 1/10.


    "Take it to the limit..."


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  3. #43
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    Re: Movie Reviews - See A Movie, Give A Review

    Gonna be honest here, Fuji... Its time your reviews had a thread of their own. They are too good to get buried and possibly missed here.

  4. #44
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    Re: Movie Reviews - See A Movie, Give A Review

    Quote Originally Posted by Big Papa View Post
    Gonna be honest here, Fuji... Its time your reviews had a thread of their own. They are too good to get buried and possibly missed here.
    Thanks Papa, I appreciate that. I've brought it up before but the truth is that others may want to start their own threads as well and next thing you know EVERYONE will have their own and it'll be ANARCHY!!! Oh well, the best I can do is link to the thread in my sig so people will know about them...now if I could just figure out how to do that.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Wang Chung
    Fuji- got his hint possibly town but also threatened Cox with a burrito up his ass








  5. #45

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    Re: Movie Reviews - See A Movie, Give A Review

    I've not seen or heard of Fatal Games which is odd because I thought I'd seen or knew about almost all of the eighties slashers but I have seen Graduation Day. That was probably the worst pile of excrement (for a slasher anyway) I've ever seen. Would you say FG is worse than Graduation Day?

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  6. #46
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    Re: Movie Reviews - See A Movie, Give A Review

    Quote Originally Posted by Scott Hall View Post
    I've not seen or heard of Fatal Games which is odd because I thought I'd seen or knew about almost all of the eighties slashers but I have seen Graduation Day. That was probably the worst pile of excrement (for a slasher anyway) I've ever seen. Would you say FG is worse than Graduation Day?
    I'd say they are about equal on the crap scale but FG definitely has way more nudity so I'd lean towards Graduation Day being worse.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Wang Chung
    Fuji- got his hint possibly town but also threatened Cox with a burrito up his ass








  7. #47

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    Re: Movie Reviews - See A Movie, Give A Review

    I thought so. Graduation Day is hilariously awful. You should do a review of it.

    Graduation Day has to be the worst of the eighties slashers, it even makes Slaughter High look like Halloween in comparison.

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  8. #48
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    Re: Movie Reviews - See A Movie, Give A Review

    Quote Originally Posted by Fuji Vice View Post
    Thanks Papa, I appreciate that. I've brought it up before but the truth is that others may want to start their own threads as well and next thing you know EVERYONE will have their own and it'll be ANARCHY!!! Oh well, the best I can do is link to the thread in my sig so people will know about them...now if I could just figure out how to do that.
    Unless a mod comes in and says "No, bad idea", I wouldn't worry about it in that sense. To me, someone having a thread "of their own" isn't really a big deal so long as they do enough to make it worthwhile. Someone who posts the occassional review or lots of really short ones wouldn't really need one. But if you do enough - quality and volume - that its worthwhile, then a stand-alone thread doesn't seem like a bad approach. Jim has done a few for his excellent horror movie reviews. I'd say your reviews are similarly entertaining. Nothing wrong with putting them here, obviously - I just like the idea of a thread to make them stand out more.

  9. #49
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    Re: Movie Reviews - See A Movie, Give A Review

    Quote Originally Posted by Big Papa View Post
    Unless a mod comes in and says "No, bad idea", I wouldn't worry about it in that sense. To me, someone having a thread "of their own" isn't really a big deal so long as they do enough to make it worthwhile. Someone who posts the occassional review or lots of really short ones wouldn't really need one. But if you do enough - quality and volume - that its worthwhile, then a stand-alone thread doesn't seem like a bad approach. Jim has done a few for his excellent horror movie reviews. I'd say your reviews are similarly entertaining. Nothing wrong with putting them here, obviously - I just like the idea of a thread to make them stand out more.
    Well like I said, I've brought it up to the mod's and the answer they gave me is pretty much the explanation I gave you in my last post. If you want to start a petition on my behalf I'd gladly sign it!! Just kidding, I'll keep them in here for the time being and if things change then I'll do my own thread. For now you're just going to have to keep looking at this thread for them but I do at least one a day.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Wang Chung
    Fuji- got his hint possibly town but also threatened Cox with a burrito up his ass








  10. #50
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    Re: Movie Reviews - See A Movie, Give A Review

    Happy Birthday To Me




    Virginia Wainwright has just become a member of the Top Ten, the most popular clique in her prestigious private school. She's all set to invite her new friends to her lavish 18th birthday party but there's one small problem. Someone is killing her friends one by one in the most bizarre ways. Can Virginia figure out who the killer is before there's no one left to attend her party?


    "I can't believe I left Walnut Grove for this..."

    Happy Birthday to Me, produced by the same team who brought us the excellent My Bloody Valentine and directed by J. Lee Thompson (Cape Fear, Taras Bulba, Conquest of the Planet of the Apes) is an underrated slasher that generally seems to fall off the radar when discussing the genre. Starring Melissa Sue Anderson (of Little House on the Prairie fame) as well as the great Glenn Ford (most of you know him as Pa Kent from the original Superman) the film is deftly put together, quite atmospheric and genuinely creepy. It is also excells in the kills department with a nifty motorcycle strangulation, a nasty weight drop and the piece de resistance....


    "Hey, that meat looks a little rare, I don't know if I want to...gaaak"

    Oh YEAH! Death by shish kebab skewer! This iconic image actually made the poster of the film, which is kind of dumb considering it is one of the most unique kills of all time and should not have been given away prior to viewing. That little gripe aside though, it simply has to be seen to be believed...it's that damn good. The film does a good job of throwing suspicion onto multiple characters and even planting a few red herrings that are all explained rather well at the conclusion. By the way, the ending to this film is another one of those mindwarps that the creators of Sleepaway Camp would have been proud of. Let's ask one of the stars of the film what she thinks about it...


    "Gimme, gimme Shock Treatment!"

    Ok, so she's not the best conversationalist around but I have it on good authority that she LOVED the film and gave it two rotten thumbs up. Even though its a little nonsensical and slightly off-kilter the film still holds up well, most likely due to the deft hand of director Thompson, who is clearly at home with this type of subject matter. Anderson even makes me forget her pathetic blind character Mary from "Little House" and turns in a decent performance in the lead. Oh, and we DO eventually get to the birthday party of course, featuring the type of guest EVERYONE wants....


    "But I was just about to cut the throats...uh, I mean the cake!"

    Only too often have I wished that I could attend a party where the majority of the guests are dead. It would certainly cut down on the boring conversation and weather annecdotes that seem to pepper these sort of things. Anyhow, Happy Birthday to Me is a well made and well put together slasher that has a decent cast, an interesting plot and some seriously over the top kills. It's one of those unheralded 80's slashers that really requires a new audience so if you get the chance please check it out. Recommended. 6.5/10.


    "Did anyone get the number of the truck that decapitated me? No, ok, well I'll just wait here then..."
    Last edited by Fuji Vice; 04-22-2011 at 01:11 PM.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Wang Chung
    Fuji- got his hint possibly town but also threatened Cox with a burrito up his ass








  11. #51
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    Re: Movie Reviews - See A Movie, Give A Review

    That one looks fantastic.

  12. #52
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    Re: Movie Reviews - See A Movie, Give A Review

    Yep, it really is underrated, and of course how could you pass up any movie with a shish kebab skewer death scene? Obviously you can't!!


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    Quote Originally Posted by Wang Chung
    Fuji- got his hint possibly town but also threatened Cox with a burrito up his ass








  13. #53
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    Re: Movie Reviews - See A Movie, Give A Review

    Maximum Overdrive





    For 3 days the Earth has been exposed to the tail of a passing comet. The dust from this tail causes inanimate objects to develop a murderous life of their own. Now a truck stop is the site of man's last stand against machine, and who will win when we're sent into Maximum Overdrive?


    "When Lawnmower meets human...Lawnmower wins!"

    Maximum Overdrive is a fantastic little piece of cine-trash from Stephen King. Yes, that Stephen King, who had gotten tired of seeing other directors butcher his stories and decided to go ahead and do it on his own. While the direction is clearly weak (because you know, he's a WRITER) the film itself is nothing short of fantastic and an absolute must-see from the 80's. For starters we have an incredibly strong cast led by Emilio Estevez and Pat Hingle (Commisioner Gordon from Burton's Batman films). We also have....


    "Get me to a bathroom NOW...it's about to come out!!!"

    That screaming mimi in the passenger seat is none other than Yeardley "Lisa Simpson" Smith, also seen recently in HHH vehicle The Chaperone. Smith does her best to outscream such luminaries as Jamie Lee Curtis and Tippie Hedren but to no avail. In fact one is best left muting the film each time her mouth begins to form the scream shape, as the ears just cannot take too much of it. She also gets in the absolutely hilarious line "Curtis, are you dead?" after her husband avoids getting hit by a truck. It's delivered so well that I usually rewind it and listen a couple of times for a good laugh. Just watch out for that screaming or you'll end up like this guy...


    "HEY, NO SLEEPING ON THE JOB A$$HOLE!!!"

    Being that this is a film featuring machines running amok one would think that we would get some decent kills right? Oh you better believe it, as we are treated to nothing less than a guy being electrocuted by a video game machine, a coach getting killed by a pop can to the head (shot out of a vending machine), a kid getting RUN OVER by a steamroller (complete with crushing head effect) and so much more that you'll have to see it for yourself...I don't want to give everything away! There is also a really creepy ice cream truck, a freaky army jeep complete with machine gun and of course this....


    "You've always been weak Harry, you'll never be as good as Parker...."

    Whoever came up with the idea of having a Green Goblin face on the front of this menacing truck is an absolute genius who deserves every single award that can ever be given out for everything...including the Nobel Peace Prize and a PhD in Awesomeness. Seriously, is that not the coolest thing you've ever seen? Of course it is, I know it, you know it, and everyone else knows it as well. The soundtrack in this film is off the charts great, as King favourite AC/DC lent a hand with some old classics as well as the brilliant Who Made Who. In fact, we are treated to no less than 8 awesome AC/DC songs in this film including two kick ass instrumentals, Chase the Ace and DT, which automatically makes this film all types of WIN baby!!! Stephen King himself even makes a cameo and delivers a great line...


    "Honey, come over here sugar buns, this machine just called me an a$$hole!"

    Ok, so Alfred Hitchcock he may not be, but I'll give credit to King for crafting something this great with no previous filmmaking experience. Unfortunately I believe his INTENTION was to make a genuinely creepy and scary film but the end result turned out SO much better than that would have ever been. Bottom line, its hard to believe that people HAVEN'T seen this but if you haven't you'd be well served to do it sooner rather than later. Maximum Overdrive is a fun, frantic and genuinely entertaining horror film that, while not really scary, delivers in so many ways. Highly recommended. 8/10.

    Last edited by Fuji Vice; 04-23-2011 at 11:41 AM.


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  14. #54
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    Re: Movie Reviews - See A Movie, Give A Review

    The truck alone makes the movie must see. Good review, dude.

    Spoiler:

    I solemnly swear I am up to no good


    Quote Originally Posted by Steve
    I stopped reading when it became clear it was the same butthurt smarkf*g "real wrasslin'" crybaby rant on every youtube vid featuring Cena.



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  15. #55
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    Re: Movie Reviews - See A Movie, Give A Review

    Loved the review. You were spot on about Yeardley Smith too. I loved this movie and it is a definite must see for anyone who has never seen it. I think I need to go back and watch it again.

    Great review Fuji.

  16. #56
    Crotchety Old SMOD

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    Re: Movie Reviews - See A Movie, Give A Review

    Thanks buddy, I appreciate that...yeah, go for another watch, it gets better every time!


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    Quote Originally Posted by Wang Chung
    Fuji- got his hint possibly town but also threatened Cox with a burrito up his ass








  17. #57
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    Re: Movie Reviews - See A Movie, Give A Review

    LOVED Maximum Overdrive as a kid...even if it was scary for me as a kid...

    Nice write up Fuji.



  18. #58
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    Re: Movie Reviews - See A Movie, Give A Review

    Quote Originally Posted by Drew View Post
    LOVED Maximum Overdrive as a kid...even if it was scary for me as a kid...

    Nice write up Fuji.
    Thanks dude. I love how things that scared me as a kid now seem completely hilarious. Either I desensitized myself and am now completely warped or they were never that scary to begin with. Personally I am going with a combination of the two!


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    Quote Originally Posted by Wang Chung
    Fuji- got his hint possibly town but also threatened Cox with a burrito up his ass








  19. #59
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    Re: Movie Reviews - See A Movie, Give A Review

    Q: The Winged Serpent




    Something strange is happening in the heart of New York City. People are being attacked and decapitated by what some report as a "flying lizard". The police are baffled as to who or what is causing the murders and to make matters wore the body count is rising by the minute. Can super detective Shepard and his partner Powell figure out what's going on before the city descends into anarchy? Can ten time loser Jimmy Quinn make it on the straight and narrow? And what the hell is up with that giant egg in the Chrysler Building?


    "I gotta' cut loose, foot loose, kick off your Sunday shoes..."

    Brought to you by B-Movie horror director genius Larry Cohen, who also brought us the wonderful satire "The Stuff" as well as the classic "It's Alive", Q: The Winged Serpent is a clinic in everything that is right with the genre. No matter what he does with this film everything seems to work on every level, which is shocking considering how low the budget must have been. Cohen was clearly ahead of his time in understanding the concept of tongue-in-cheek horror films and this one stands as a brilliant example of his works. To start with, how could you NOT love a movie that not only stars Michael Moriarty as a piano playing, scat singing, former con on the straight and narrow AND Richard "Shaft" Roundtree? Well it gets better as we've also got Mr. Autoerotic Asphyxiation himself, David "Bill" Carradine!


    "A glass of red wine, a pair of nylons around my neck and I'm going to be A-Ok!!"

    Clearly this is one of the greatest casts assembled for a film about a large claymation, rotoscoped serpent that decapitates window washers and women in penthouse swimming pools. Oh, did you say that's the ONLY movie where that happens? Well of course that's because Q is so damned good that any writer/director with a similar idea killed themselves upon realizing nothing could be as great as this. While the monster itself is a little cheesy looking the effect STILL works because we KNOW that we are watching a movie that is meant to be low-grade. Cohen expertly convinces us throughout the proceedings that we are nothing more than an audience watching a movie that he wants us to watch, not something the studio churned out for a quick buck. Plus, I think Q is kinda' cute and all....


    "Mama...mama...why the hell is David Carradine up in here?"

    Awww, a face that only a mother could love, but enough about David Carradine already! The film is written so well that absolutely nothing feels out of place and the pacing is nothing short of spectacular. In fact, this is one of the quickest 90 minute movies you'll ever see because Cohen is so good at making every moment count that you don't have time to check your watch. Moriarty has a really great scene in a piano bar where he plays a little jazz number and scat sings along with it that you simply have to hear and its nice to see that him and Carradine could make it through the entire film without being completely drunk off their asses. Or maybe they were, either way the end result is fantastic.


    "It flies through the air with the greatest of ease...."

    I don't know how many of you have seen Q: The Winged Serpent but I do know how many of you should. That would be all of you, as nothing will prepare you for how awesome this movie is. Because if flying serpents, decapitated bodies, giant eggs, David Carradine, Shaft AND Benjamin Stone can't get you to watch this then I don't know what will. If B-Movies got their own awards this one would have swept every single category it was nominated in...it REALLY is THAT good! Get out there and find this gem now, you will NOT be disappointed, and that's a promise from Fuji that you can take to the bank...the blood bank that is! Highly recommended. 9/10.


    "GAHH, you didn't tell me you had BRACES!!!!!"
    Last edited by Fuji Vice; 04-24-2011 at 09:22 AM.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Wang Chung
    Fuji- got his hint possibly town but also threatened Cox with a burrito up his ass








  20. #60
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    Re: Movie Reviews - See A Movie, Give A Review

    I feel like 90% of that review was sarcasm but I can't tell

    Spoiler:

    I solemnly swear I am up to no good


    Quote Originally Posted by Steve
    I stopped reading when it became clear it was the same butthurt smarkf*g "real wrasslin'" crybaby rant on every youtube vid featuring Cena.



    Quote Originally Posted by Buff Bagwell on John Cena
    But I think he's bigger than Buff Bagwell. I really do.
    [02:00 AM] Dakstang : girls ain't dudes


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