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Thread: WEW: Womens Entertaining Wrestling

  1. #1

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    WEW: Womens Entertaining Wrestling


    About a year ago, Vince McMahon fell in love with a Diva called Candice Michelle. But eventually their love affair was found out, so Vince divorced Linda (his Wife at the time), and married Candice. Linda decided she didn't want anything to do with Vince anymore, so she said he could keep the company and his lover, and went on to become a Nun. Stephanie and Shane where both left mentally hurt by all this, especially Shane, so he went to TNA because the X-Division would give him more of a chance to shine. Sadly in his debut match with Shark Boy, Shane was beaten so badly, he hasn't been seen since. As for Steph, she left Trips and went into the Stock Market. She failed miserably and went back to Hunter, but he said she was nothing but a shortcut to the World Title, and he didn't want her anymore because by this time, he had finally beaten Ric Flairs record.

    Unfortunately a few months later, Vince died of Roid Rage. However, in his will, Vincent stated that he wanted WWE to become a Womens Promotion, because it was his Wifes wishes, and well you know Vince, he loved those ladies. So when he passed away, all the Male wrestlers where sent to an Island to inhabit. Triple H eventually started his own company there but it failed because he refused to put anyone over. And Candice ordered that CM Punk stay and be General Manager because he was straight-edge and there was no way he would get drunk on the job. In addition, Candice decided she didn't like the name WWE because she had a hard time saying two W's straight after each other, so she changed the promotion to WEW (Womens Entertainment Wrestling), she said it was what Vince would have wanted. Candice could only pay attention long enough to book one show though, and the other writers got sick of it and quit, leaving Candice on her own. After Two weeks of nothing happening on Smackdown or ECW, the shows got cancelled. Candice then decided to rename Raw after the brand of her favorite Nail Polish, 'Sparkle'.

    Sadly though, Candice Michelle died whilst filming for an X-Rated Movie, she tripped over the camera cord and fell out the window. I guess you could say she died doing what she loved. So, a new owner for WEW was made, and she was called Roxy. She got the spot because she accidently ran over Vince Russo, so for ridding wrestling of that cancer, she was rewarded with control. This then takes us up to the week after where Wrestlemania was supposed to have taken place.

    General Manager

    Ring Annoucer

    Backstage Interviewer


    Current Champions

    WEW Womens Title - Vacent

    WEW Juniors Title



    PPV Events
    Last edited by Roxy; 07-30-2009 at 10:50 AM.

  2. #2
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    Re: WEW: Womens Entertaining Wrestling

    I lmao at the backstory and even though it was irealistic it gave me a laugh though I would like to see what you do with this Bee Tee Bee so I'll be paying attention

  3. #3
    Johnny Cash Lis'nen

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    Re: WEW: Womens Entertaining Wrestling

    Good lulz. Haha, hopefully the whole thing is written this way, keep it up.

  4. #4
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    Re: WEW: Womens Entertaining Wrestling

    That's quite possibly the greatest back story ever.
    The Real Rock N' Rolla

  5. #5
    Tommy Got Hacked

    Re: WEW: Womens Entertaining Wrestling

    Watch the Nazi Banksters Crimes Ripple Effect Film.

  6. #6
    Covered in Blood

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    Re: WEW: Womens Entertaining Wrestling

    Jesus Christ that's the greatest backstory ever. I also like the graphics and the roster. If you put your same wit and comedy into the actual shows then this will be a VERY enjoyable diary. Good luck!

  7. #7
    The EST of WC
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    Re: WEW: Womens Entertaining Wrestling

    @ the backstory. good luck with this.

  8. #8
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    Re: WEW: Womens Entertaining Wrestling

    Funniest thing I've read in a long time. haha I'll be reading this. Hopefully you stick to comedy.

  9. #9
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    Re: WEW: Womens Entertaining Wrestling


    I was split by this. Seems like too many divas for one title. But, you seemed to know what you are doing.
    Quote Originally Posted by RaiZ-R View Post
    What the fuck is happening to you guys? I once got a blowjob where she used her teeth a little bit too much and I ended up with a bloody dick, I still enjoyed the blowjob up to the point I started bleeding. I can honestly say that I have never had anything I would call a bad blowjob, that wasn't a great experience but up until I started gushing blood I was having a great time!

  10. #10
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    Re: WEW: Womens Entertaining Wrestling

    She could have a few different diva titles ohhh. Maybe just do it like the men's only with womenzzz

    It would be interesting actually to get a few guys in your fed and put them in reverse roles.

  11. #11

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    Re: WEW: Womens Entertaining Wrestling

    ROFL. I love the backstory.

  12. #12

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    Re: WEW: Womens Entertaining Wrestling

    Monday Night Sparkle

    Sparkles Opening Video Plays along with a recap of everything that has gone over this past year. This is the first show of Sparkle since Vince McMahons death from Roid Rage, since Linda became a Nun, since Shane jobbed to Shark Boy, since Triple H ditched Steph, since Candice Michelle fell out a 7 story high window, and since Roxy just happened to run over Vince Russo to gain power.

    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    *A familar theme tune starts to play and out comes the General Manager of SPARKLE CM Punk. He walks up to the ring, pulls back the rope, and grabs a mic*

    Punk: Well, this is the first show of SPARKLE since everything that happened, I want to thank everyone for their support. Anyway, we do have a special guest tonight. She's blonde, she's Canadian, has held multiple titles, and no it's not the Rated R superstar with a sex change, it's the one and only TRISH STRATUS!'

    *Trishs music starts to play and she starts to walk down the ring.*

    Trish: Whats up Maryland!?
    Punk: Trish, we're in New York.......

    Raisha Saeed (on commentary): ownt.

    Punk: Erm, okay, so it's been one of hell of a year. And i'd like to dedicate this show to it's former owner, Candice Michelle, who just recently died of Aids
    Trish: Punk, she didn't die of aids, she just had aids.
    Punk: But she's still dead right?
    Trish: Yeh
    Punk: Good. So i was half right.
    Trish: Maybe but she tripped over a Camera and fell out a window
    Punk: Didn't see injure herself that way a while back too?
    Trish: Yeah, she fell
    Punk: Oh, well at least she's consistant

    Trish: Why am I here again?
    Punk: Oh yeah, tonight Trish Stratus will be the guest referee in the fatal four way!
    Trish: I was told i'd be getting another title
    Punk: You've already had Seven
    Trish: So?
    Punk: You've still got your record, your blonde hair, and your impla...never mind.
    Trish: Fine, well I just want to say good luck to SPARKLE, and wish all you females here the best!

    Punk: Thanks for coming Trish, and just so you know, we took all those 'Trish is overrated', 'Mickie > Trish', 'Trish is really a guy' signs off the fans!
    Trish: Damn IWC
    Punk: I know right, i'd love to see them book a show like this
    Trish: Or cheer for a face
    Punk: Why do you think i turned heel a while back?
    Trish: Because you didn't get over when you where a good guy?
    Punk: No, because i'm straight-edge and i'm better than you!

    Raisha Saeed (on commentary): ownt.

    Punk: Alright, so our competitors for the Fatal Four Way are as follows; Natalya, Awesome Kong, Angelina Love, and the beautiful, Mickie James
    Trish: Strange, Fat, Looks like a Dude, Stalker
    Punk: Describing yourself?

    Raisha Saeed (on commentary): ownt.

    Punk: Alright, so i've got some work to do. So Trish, have fun around here, and feel free to do anything you like
    Trish: Like what?
    Punk: I dunno, get another boob job?
    Trish: But i've got a match to ref
    Punk: You're right, you're not competing, so you wont need one to put yourself over
    Trish: ........
    Punk: Enjoy the night everyone

    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    *Michelle McCools entrance music hits*

    Tiffany: The following match is scheduled for one fall and making her way to the ring, from Florida, Michelle McCool!

    Raisha Saeed: Dear Lord
    Torrie: Are you praying??
    Raisha Saeed: No I just hate this music
    Torrie: But it was my old music
    Raisha Saeed: Exactly

    *Christy Hemmes music plays*

    Tiffany: And her opponent, from Santa Monica, Calafornia, Christy Hemme!

    Raisha Saeed: What the hell?
    Torrie: RIP HER WIG OFF!
    Raisha Saeed: She isn't wearing a wig
    Torrie: She will have to once Michelle has finished with her!
    Raisha Saeed: But they're not even in the ring yet
    Torrie: Oh

    *Michelle and Christy lock eyes. Torrie Wilson can be heard from the annouce table shouting random abuse at Hemme*

    Torrie: When's the last time you saw your dad huh Christy?! The gay Bar?!
    Raisha Saeed: Jesus christ, shut the hell up before I slit the tires on your home

    *Michelle and Christy went for some Mat wrestling throughout the match. Christy ducked and hit a German Suplex. Christy then hit the Spinning Facebuster on Michelle. She went for a pin but Michelle just kicked out. Christy went up to the second rope, and waited for Michelle to get up. Christy jumped for the Cross Body but was caught by Michelle. Michelle has Christy in the move and hits the Faith Breaker*

    Tiffany: And here is your winner, Michelle McCool!

    Torrie: So when is the match gonna start
    Raisha Saeed: ............................

    *Michelle McCool walks over to the annouce tables and grabs herself a Mic*

    Michelle: Yo whats up, me and my homies backstage want you to now refer to me as MC-COOL. And Christina, I want you to stop jocking my style! You think you can make music dawg? Well check this out; Yo Yo Yo, all you Sucka Divas aint got nothing on me, I'm MC-COOL a record holder can't ya see? Haps in the hood? You dont look no good! I'm gonna rip this muel because check it out, i'm MC-COOL!

    Torrie: Tupac is alive!!

    Christy: So will the real Slim Shady please stand up?

    *Torrie tries to stand up but Raisha grabs her back down*

    Raisha Saeed: Well it looks like we got a bit of musical competition these two. They both suck at singing so lets just hope they keep it inside the squared circle or at least off iTunes.

    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    *Beth Phoenixs music hits*

    *Earlier, Beth attemped to hit on CM Punk, but seeing as he's straight-edge, he wasn't interested in her because she was Blonde - at least that was his excuse. Beth spent the evening sobbing, crying and wondering if it was her football shaped chest that made her so unattractive to Punk. Beth decided to give up on men all together, they had screwed her over (literally) too many times. She was sick of taking the pill when she was dating guys, she was sick of having to make an effort with her appearence, and decided change was for the better*

    Beth: Well, I have finally discovered who I really am. I couldn't be happier knowing that I really do just want some female company. I have found out things about myself which have made my stomach tingle and I know I will get alot of homophobic comments but its only because i'll do better with the women than every other guy out there. Please accept me for who I am, if not, I will brag about all the women I pull, because someone has to do the the job you guys can't.

    *Kelly Kellys music hits*

    Tiffany: The following Tag Match is scheduled for one fall and making her way to the ring, from Florida, Kelly Kelly!

    Raisha Saeed: So it looks like both Kelly and Beth are teaming up together
    Torrie: Oh dear
    Raisha Saeed: What??
    Torrie: What if Beth tries to hit on Kelly!
    Raisha Saeed: We all know Beth can do better

    *Maryses music hits and out comes her and Daffney*
    *Beth Starts off in this match with a simply headlock onto Daffney, Daffney tries her best to get free, mainly because she is worried about where Beths hands will go. She breaks free and Tags in Maryse, who flicks her hair, whilst doing so Beth says to herself 'Mhhmmm'. Maryse takes down Beth, and Beth reaches for Kelly and tags her in. The crowd starts to boo, and Maryse and Kelly lock up, Maryse uses the spinning back breaker and pushes Kelly down to the mat. Kelly gets up but Maryse hits the French KO and Kelly falls flat on her face. Maryse goes for the pin but Beth runs in and breaks the pin by grabbing Kellys legs. Daffney runs in and jumps onto Beth (who seemed like she enjoyed it), and pushes her out the ring into the barrier. Kelly stands up and fails at attempting a flip, nothing new there, and Maryse puts Kelly into the DDT and executes. She goes for the pin*

    Tifanny: And here are your winners, Daffney and Maryse!

    Torrie: They won!!
    Raisha Saeed: They make a great team, even I cant deny that.

    *Maryse and Daffney start celebrating their first win on sparkle by dancing around the ring to Rancid. Maryse gives Daffney an odd look though, Daffney catches on and eyes Maryse back. Both now seem rather suspicious of each other. Anyway, Kelly hurt herself during the match (no surprise there), and she gets taken to the medical room*

    *Afterwards, Beth calls in to see Kelly who is getting her face checked by the Doctor. Beth runs her hand down Kellys cheek*

    Beth: Hope your pretty face is okay, wouldn't want it to get damaged now, would we?

    *Beth Leaves*

    Kelly: I knew she was too butch to be into Santino

    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    *The Camera switches backstage where Rosa is interviewing The General Manager, CM Punk*

    Rosa: Me and the other girls where wondering, what else do you have planned for WEW?
    Punk: Well, I actually have plans to introduce another title for the other Women here. It's the WEW Juniors title, and we'll be having a Battle Royal to crown the winner next week-

    *Just as CM Punk is talking a group of USA Officials coming storming in*

    Official One: Excuse me, we're looking for Gail Kim
    Punk: She should be around here somewhere, she's probably making some rice
    Official One: We have reason to believe she's living in the US under false protences
    Punk: Why, because she's Asian?
    Official One: You would be correct

    *Gail Kim appears*

    Official One: GET HER!!

    *Gail tries to run away and attempts some Kung Fu on the officials*

    Punk: Everybody loves Kung Fu Fighting..du du du du du du du du

    *The officials grab Gail and put her into a box which says 'To be Deported'*

    Official Two: She'll be back in China within no time
    Gail Kim: But i'm from Canada!!
    Official Two: That's even worse!
    Punk: I always knew she was a commy

    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    *Taylor Wilde is backstage, and she's talking to Alex Shelley when Katie Lea comes over*

    Taylor: So Alex, do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I just walk by again?
    Alex Shelley: You'll need to walk past again, only next time, don't stop and talk to me, exit is on the left and at the end of the hall

    *Alex Shelley leaves*

    Taylor: Katie look what you did, you scared him away
    Katie Lea: Me? I did nothing
    Taylor: Is that so?
    Katie Lea: Considering you where border-line stalking him there, i'd say yes.
    Taylor: Stalking?
    Taylor: Exactly. You scared the man off. Next time you want to stalk someone, make sure they're suicidal. So when they throw themselves off a brdige, you follow them

    Tiffany: The following match is scheduled for one fall!

    *Taylor Wilde comes out*

    Tiffany: And from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, Taylor Wilde!

    *Taylor gets on the mic*

    Taylor: Alex baby, this one is for you!

    *Katie Lea comes out*

    Taylor:What? What are you doing here?
    Katie: Well, Alex needs someone good to look at when this match is on
    Taylor: Whatever Katie, you shouldn't be here, you should be out learning from your parents mistakes - try using some Birth Control

    Raisha Saeed (on commentary): ownt

    *Eve comes out*

    *Taylor wastes no time and starts to kick Eve into the gut. She takes her and rams her shoulder first into the ring post. Eve comes back hard with some punches, but Taylor sweeps her off her feet lands a running Senton onto her gut. She goes for the cover but Eve kicks out. From behind, Taylor applies a tight headlock, wrenching away on the neck. Eve breaks out and surprises Taylor with a hurrcarana, she goes for a clothesline, but Taylor ducks and hits the Bridging Northern Lights Suplex*

    Tiffany: And here is your winner, Taylor Wilde!

    Torrie: Well this just shows that blondes have more fun
    Raisha Saeed: Torrie, you know when you slam a hammer into a retards face, and he just looks at you with that goofy retard smile because he's too stupid to realize you just hit him with a hammer? Well you just did that exact thing

    *Taylor grabs a mic*

    Taylor: I hope that was good enough Alex

    *Alex Shelley comes out*

    Alex: Listen Taylor, I made it clear earlier that I wasn't interested, and I don't want to be bought up again because to be quite honest, i'd rather roll around in a bed of razor blades with Magic Johnson than talk to you

    Katie Lea: Hahahahahhahahahahaha BURN

    *Taylor looking pretty pissed off, goes and tackles Katie*

    Torrie: Fight, fight, fight!
    Raisha Saeed: Two girls fighting over a guy that isn't interested in either one of them? Sounds like something Vince McMahon would do
    Torrie: Come on, you know Vince liked two girls fighting over another girl
    Raisha Saeed: You would know

    *Katie and Taylor get dragged out the arena by security*

    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    *Velvet Skys music starts to play and she comes out to the ring*

    Velvet: Okay, okay, i'll admit it, I got a little be carried away earlier - I reported Gail to Immigration...woops

    Torrie (to Raisha Saeed): And she missed YOU out?

    Velvet: But it's not my fault, she kind of asked for it when she called herself the 'Asian Sensation' so anyway, like i've got some super good news for you all! I've decided to make an exclusive club in memory of our beautiful owner - think before sugery people! It's called the cWo - Candice World Order - awesome right? Totally! But like I said, this is in memory of Candice, because before she got all that surgery, she was a lovely girl who just happened to star in porn movies, get aids and fall out a window - the camera wire just came out of no-where. I guess you could say she didn't know what tripped her!

    *Melina comes out*

    Raisha Saeed: Great, another pyscho
    Torrie: She looks like a Horse, it's gross
    Raisha Saeed: Not a fan of Horses?
    Torrie: I love Horses, just not ones that ugly

    Melina: Velvet, making fun of a dead girl, can you sink any lower?
    Velvet: Hey! I'm not making fun of anybody here so whatever, your ridiculous opinion has been noted but i'm not even in first gear yet you hippy
    Melina: Velvet, I didn't have a problem with you up until now, but I guess the more attractive wrestler has to speak up, huh?
    Velvet: You? More attractive? Melina, if I were as ugly as you, I wouldn't say hello to folk, i'd just say boo because faces like yours where the reason paper bags and doggy style positions where invented

    *Velvet drops the mic and walks off*

    *Melina from behind runs at Velvet and delivers a bulldog*

    Raisha Saeed: I guess Melina wanted to show Velvet the real kind of doggy style!

    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    Raisha Saeed: And now it's time for our Main Event; Mickie James vs Natalya vs Angelina Love vs Awesome Kong - this should be interesting

    Tifanny: The following Fatal Four Way is scheduled for one fall!

    *Mickie James comes out to a standing ovation*

    Tiffany: And from Richmond, Virginia, Mickie James!

    *Awesome Kongs music hits and she walks out*

    Torrie: Gross! What is that?!

    Tiffany: And from Tokyo, Japan, Awesome Kong!

    Raisha Saeed: Ten Dollars that she eats the competitors

    *Angelina love comes out*

    Tiffany: And from Toronto, Ontario, Canada Angelina Love!

    Raisha Saeed: Poor girl doesn't stand a chance

    Tiffany: And from Alberta, Canada, Natalya!

    Torrie: Oh my God! It's Bret Hart!

    Tiffany: And finally, making her return as the ref in this match, Trish Stratus!!

    *Trish comes out to a huge set of cheers, though some where chanting 'you screwed Bret'. In recent reports Trish denied ever having sexual relations with Bret, saying how just because they where both labelled as overrated, doesn't mean they ever 'screwed' each other, however Bret kept moaning about something these past ten years and it's safe to assume it was probably about Trish's performance in bed*

    *Trish signals for the bell to ring*

    *Awesome Kong and Natalya lock up to begin the match, with Kong putting Nattie in a wristlock. Whilst Mickie puts Angelina in a tight inverted headlock, wrenching back on the neck, but Angelina gives Mickie a drop toe hold. Whilst on the ground, Kong stretches Nattie with an abdominal stretch variation, grinding her elbow into the ribcage. Meanwhile, Mickie gets Angelina into a small package, Trish comes over and counts; 1...kickout. Angelina locks in a front facelook but Mickie escapes right into a hammerlock transitioning right into a sidelock.*

    Torrie: This is boring
    Raisha Saeed: It's basic wrestling, it wears you down, something you wouldn't know much about

    *Kong takes Nattie down with a headlock takedown, gripping tightly. Nattie grabs one of the legs and rolls out of the hold, immediately going for her Sharpshooter. She locks Kong in! Angelina and Mickie run over and break it up incase Kong taps out. Mickie pushes Nattie out the way and goes for a running dropkick but Nattie dodges and rams Mickie into the corner and starts chopping her away at the chest.*

    Torrie: Woooooooooooooooooooooooo!!

    *Mickie pushes her away, and climbs the top rope, Mickie gives the fans her standing appreciation before she dives off the rope to deliver a cross body. Now sensing victory, Mickie is more energetic than ever, getting the fans behind her. Meanwhile Kong lands a quick snap suplex on Angelina and goes for the cover, Trish comes over; 1, 2...kickout! Now locked in a grounded Hammerlock, Angelina gets to her feet and lands a double leg takedown and places Kong on her stomach. She tries to go for the double chickenwing but can't seem to keep it on so instead she rolls Kong into the cover but Trish is busy trying to calm Natalya and Mickie down, so Angelina grabs Trish and pushes her to the floor*

    *Mickie runs at Angelina and hits the Thesz Press, she winks at Trish who is then reminded of the days Mickie stalked her, she shivers and carries on. Kong grabs both Angelina and Mickie and throws them into the corner, she knees Angelina in the mid section, and presses both Love and James against the top rope. Trish stands there laughing, but Natalya comes in and hits a backbreaker, she starts applying the sharpshooter on Trish!!*

    Raisha Saeed: Looks like she's showing Trish what it's like to be in the ring with a real wrestler
    Torrie: Huh? But i wrestled with Trish
    Raisha Saeed: Exactly

    *Mickie, Angelina and Kong stare at Nattie with amazement and burst into fits of laughter. Mickie grabs Nattie off Trish and whispers something into her ear, she nods and grabs Angelna, they all lift up Kong and push her over the ropes. Mickie super kicks Nattie, knocking her out, she clutches Angelina, she hits the Tornado DDT and goes for the pin! Trish heaves herself over and counts; 1, 2, 3!!*

    Tiffany: And here is your winner, and one of the contenders for the WEW Womens Championship, Mickie James!

    *Mickie grabs Trish and kisses her. Kong furious, storms off backstage in a hunt for some Ben and Jerrys Ice Cream, whilst Natalya starts moaning saying she got screwed out of the title...shot. Angelina gets up, dazed and confused, she starts screaming at Trish, demanding a rematch. As Mickie is standing on the apron, Angelina grabs her Ankle and pulls her over. The girls start to fight as Trish trying to be a decent ref, tries to break it up, but fails miserably*

    Raisha Saeed: Looks like Mickie has to carry Trish through something yet again

    *Mickie pushes Angelina away and Angelina walks back in fury at the fact Mickie pinned her to gain the shot. She grabs the mic*

    Angelina: Look Punk, if you're listening, i've got beef, and yes, yes I am talking about Mickie James, next week I want her, and not in the way Beth wants Kelly, I want Mickie one on one with her title shot chance on the line, you got that?

    *Angelina drops the mic and storms off*

    Raisha Saeed: Well, I guess that's it. Things next week could get very sticky, and not just in Jerry Lawlers pants as he watches at home. Goodnight Folks!
    Last edited by Roxy; 07-06-2009 at 07:36 PM.

  13. #13
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    Re: WEW: Womens Entertaining Wrestling

    Very comical and enjoyable. It really showed your creative mind and produced some really good feuds. However, if this was the real thing, do you think people would take this seriously?
    Quote Originally Posted by RaiZ-R View Post
    What the fuck is happening to you guys? I once got a blowjob where she used her teeth a little bit too much and I ended up with a bloody dick, I still enjoyed the blowjob up to the point I started bleeding. I can honestly say that I have never had anything I would call a bad blowjob, that wasn't a great experience but up until I started gushing blood I was having a great time!

  14. #14
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    Re: WEW: Womens Entertaining Wrestling

    i found it hard to read, and segements were all mashed up I wasn't sure where a match begun or ended

  15. #15
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    Re: WEW: Womens Entertaining Wrestling

    Seems good! love the name...Monday Night Sparkle. lol.

  16. #16
    I call it like I see it.

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    Re: WEW: Womens Entertaining Wrestling

    LOL I was really entertained by this
    This picture for the win!

    Favorite Superstars: The Undertaker, Kurt Angle, Shawn Michaels, MVP, John Cena, Randy Orton, Edge, Kofi Kingston, Shelton Benjamin, Chris Jericho

    Favorite Divas: Mickie James, Alissa Flash, Sarita,Tara, Layla, Bella Twins

    R.I.P. Michael Jackson

  17. #17
    Sweet Meat
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    Re: WEW: Womens Entertaining Wrestling

    Fun for comedy. Obviously not something that would actually happen...

    The backstory was amazing.


    I solemnly swear I am up to no good

    Quote Originally Posted by Steve
    I stopped reading when it became clear it was the same butthurt smarkf*g "real wrasslin'" crybaby rant on every youtube vid featuring Cena.

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    But I think he's bigger than Buff Bagwell. I really do.
    [02:00 AM] Dakstang : girls ain't dudes

  18. #18
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    Re: WEW: Womens Entertaining Wrestling

    that was pretty damn entertaining.

  19. #19

    Join Date
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    Rep Power

    Re: WEW: Womens Entertaining Wrestling

    Sparkles Opening Video Plays along with a recap of last week. It shows Michelle McCool failing to rap and claiming she's a better singer than Hemme, Beth Phoenix hitting on Kelly - gross, we know. Gail Kim being deported, Alex Shelley telling Taylor Wilde to GTFO, and Mickie James becoming one of the #1 contenders for the WEW title.


    *Angelinas music hits*

    Angelina: Last week Mickie, you pinned me and earned a shot at the WEW title. Well, I just wanna say congrats girl! I totally overreacted. I went home and I thought to myself, she deserved it. So I want to clear the air, kiss, make up, and call a truce, because with the recent weight gain you've had, I don't want to be put in a squash match with you. So hows about it!?

    *CM Punk comes out*

    Punk: Angelina, I just came out to say that you'll be in a match tonight, against Natalya, you two will be competing for a shot for the title. The winner will then face Mickie, at The Bash, for the WEW championship.

    Angelina: Fair enough I guess. Now, where's Mickie?
    Punk: Erm, I think she's backstage making a sandwhich
    Angelina: Roast Beef?
    Punk: My thoughts exactly
    Angelina: We're going to hell, aren't we?
    Punk: You are, i'm not
    Angelina: Why's that then?
    Punk: Because i'm straight-edge and i'm better than you!
    Angelina: That thing is old, the character went stale when you where in ROH
    Punk: Sorry, where?
    Angelina: ROH
    Punk: I think you're forgetting that Vince use to own this company, other wrestling promotions don't exist here
    Angelina: Not even ECW?

    *Natalyas Music Hits*

    Natalya: So, i'm facing Angelina tonight? That should be easy, seeing as i'm the best there was, the best there is, the best there ever will be!
    Punk: What in gods name...
    Angelina: Oh yeah, she got kicked in the head at a house show, now she thinks shes Bret Hart
    Punk: I guess she really is living off her name then
    Angelina: Don't be silly, she trained in THE DUNGEON~!
    Punk: Explains the 80's style pink tights. Anyway, I just came out to annouce your match, and that the main event will be the battle royal to crown the WEW Junior Champ. Seeing as you two are already out, you can have your match now, it saves us reloading the pyro. If I find Mickie, i'll tell her she can come on commentary because it's standard booking here to shove one of your most talented on there. Have fun!


    With Mickie as a guest on Commentary

    *Mickies music hits*

    Raisha Saeed: Good to have you here Mickie
    Torrie Wilson: You're not still a psycho are you?
    Mickie: Of course not. I dropped that gimmick years ago, as much as the IWC wan't it back, they can bugger off if they think i'm wearing skirts again. Pervs.
    Torrie Wilson: Speaking of Pervs, what do you think of Beth Phoenix?
    Raisha Saeed: Can we get to the match now please?
    Mickie (whispering): Honestly, I think it's just a gimmick they placed her with, she's married, although if i'm wrong, it would explain the amount of times she wanted to wrestle me

    *Natalya and Angelina circle the ring, and Natalya locks Angelina in an armbar. She brings Angelina to the ropes, jumps on the second rope, springboards around, and hits a springboard armdrag*

    Mickie: Nattie, you're supposed to be Bret Hart, not Owen!

    *Angelina gets up, and meets Nattie with a standing drop kick. She climbs the top rope and shouts 'Bret screwed Bret' and leaps to do a cross body, but nobodys home. Nattie grabs Angelina, and puts her into the sharpshooter*

    Raisha Saeed: Lets hope she taps
    Torrie Wilson: No way
    Mickie: I'm with Torrie, Nattie can get screwed (no pun intended), if she thinks i'm facing her

    *Angelina reaches for the rope, she grabs it, and is released. Angelina, still hurting from the failed cross body, is grabbing her HUGE chest. Mickie walks out of her chair, and distracts Natalya. Angelina grabs Nattie from behind (in a not so Beth Phoenix like fashion), and goes for a roll up. 1, 2, 3*

    Tiffany: And here is your winner, Angelina Love!

    Crowd chanting at Mickie: You screwed Bret Nattie, you screwed Bret Nattie!

    Raisha Saeed: I guess it's Mickie vs Angelina for the WEW title then at The Bash
    Torrie: Natties loses in an upset? Guess we'll be hearing about this for the next 10 years



    *The Camera goes backstage, where Velvet and Melina are seen arguing. Last week they ended up fighting because Velvet took the piss out of the former owner, who died had aids, and fell out of a window, Candice Michelle*

    Melina: You're nothing more than a cheap whore, who instead of having a funeral for Candice, would sell tickets and tape a necrophillia gang bang of her lifeless corpse, just to make money!
    Velvet: You know what Melina, i'd lower myself to insulting you, but i'd spend way too much time explaining that you're a stupid idiot, in ways your limited mind can't understand so it's a good thing God created a back up plan for people like you, it's called suicide, you should try it! Better yet, go find the body of your precious Candice, and make out with, then you'd die the same fate as her
    Melina: She just had aids, she didn't die of it
    Velvet: No, I meant you could film it and trip over the camera cord, maybe falling face first onto concrete will improve your appearence
    Punk: Hey now ladies, both of you can save this for The Bash, but you can also save it for the battle royal tonight, aren't I a great boss, putting you two girls in the match
    Velvet: Who else is in there?
    Punk: You'll have to wait and see
    Velvet: You've no idea yet have you?
    Punk: Nope
    Velvet: Oh well, i'm taking that title anyway. If Melina wants to win anything, she can enter the grand national. And i'm out!

    Raishia Saeed (on commentary): ownt.



    Tiffany: The following Tag Team Contest is set for one fall!

    *Michelles entrance music hits but she runs out to the ramp*

    Michelle: Look, i've got my own entrance music now, so you can kill those beats, because it's wack!

    *Michelle and Layla both come out, and Michelle starts rapping*

    Michelle (Rappng): This is my entrance music i'm singing right now
    I don't know why but Christy it's like POW
    You think you can sing
    You think you're good
    Well let me get to the ring
    And prove that I'm the girl that every guy would
    This is MC-COOL
    And Christy, you drool!

    Raisha Saeed: What in lords name have creative done to her
    Torrie: That wasn't rap
    Raisha Saeed: It wasn't even a freaking song

    *Christys Music hits and her and Maria come out*

    Raisha Saeed: Please don't sing, please don't sing, please don't sing!

    Christy: Michelle, you think that's rapping? Dear god. Instead of singing or rapping, whatever it is, like a try hard, why don't you do something that benefits the world?

    Torrie: She could pose for playboy!

    Christy: So why don't you build a catapult, and launch yourself into orbit. So that in 250 years time, people can look up into space and see your failed music career

    Raisha Saeed: ownt.

    *All four of the girls are in the ring, and the ref calls for the match to start*

    Raisha Saeed: Lets get this match underway then
    Torrie: A tag match? Boring
    Raisha Saeed: What do you suggest?
    Torrie: A gimmick match attached onto it?
    Raisha Saeed: This isn't TNA
    Torrie: But we have near enough all their knockouts
    Raisha Saeed: And they have near enough all our fired, released, ex, wrestlers, and now our playboy contract
    Torrie: Didn't you use to work for TNA too?
    Raisha Saeed: Yep
    Torrie: Explains the R-Truth treatment you're getting
    Raisha Saeed: Torrie you're supposed to be dumb, you're breaking kayfabe. It's the curtain call incident all over again
    Torrie: If that's the case, then I guess i'll go on un-punished and win 13 world titles

    *Layla starts things off for her team because Michelle is busy singing to herself, whilst Christy starts things off for her team*

    *Layla and Christy lock up, and Christy, who has the advantage in the ring due to her improvement in not only singing, but wrestling, goes for a low blow*

    Torrie: Crikey, seems like something Beth Phoenix would do!

    *Christy starts clapping to get the fans involved, although it doesn't seem to do much, because Layla gets up and goes for a roll up. Christy kicks out and goes for a spinning face buster. Christy is now the one to go for the pin, but Layla reaches for the ropes, and touches them with her fingers. She kicks Christy in the face, and tags in Michelle. Christy and Michelle start shouting at each other, and Michelle delivers a drop kick to Christy*

    Torrie (quoting from Dodgeball): Ouch town, population you bro!

    *Michelle starts screaming at Christy, and puts her into the ankle lock*

    Raisha Saeed: Bitch! She stole that from Kurt Angle!

    *Michelle starts screaming at Christy again 'You're nothing more than a one hit wonder!' - she tightens the lock on Christy. Refusing to give up, Christy reaches for the rope, grabs it, and Michelle lets go. Christy runs to the ropes, delivers a crossbody, and pulls Michelle into a roll up*

    Tiffany: And here is your winner, Christy Hemme and Maria!

    Raisha Saeed: Did Maria even wrestle?
    Torrie: What a stupid question
    Raisha Saeed: A stupid question you don't appear to know the answer to
    Torrie: Whatever, Michelle losing, who books this crap?
    Raisha Saeed: I dunno, as long as it's not the IWC, I don't care
    Torrie: They should just stick to what they do best
    Raisha Saeed: Which is?
    Torrie: Posting our pictures in the Divas Threads
    Raisha Saeed: I'm pretty sure posting them isn't the only thing they do with our pictures Torrie...



    *The camera flicks on, and Beth Phoenix appears*

    Raisha Saeed: What the hell? Where is she??
    Torrie: I think...I think she's in someones dressing room

    Beth: Kelly, oh Kelly, where are you dear?

    Raisha Saeed: Hmm, I don't think Kellys there, but what on earth is Beth doing?

    *Beth walks around Kellys dressing room*

    Beth: Dammit, she musn't be here, maybe i'll just wait for her, or better yet..

    *Beth opens Kellys back, takes her clothes, and runs out*

    Torrie: Hey, what's she doing, that's stealing, Beth stop!
    Raisha Saeed: Dude, she can't here you
    Torrie: What was she doing then!??
    Raisha Saeed: I dunno, probably stealing her clothes so she can smell them when she's alone or something
    Torrie: Gross
    Raisha Saeed: Yeah I know, they're not even clean

    *The Camera goes off air for 15 minutes for a break*

    *Kelly Kelly enters her dressing room and notices someones been in. She storms out and goes looking for Beth*

    Kelly: Beth, where the hell are you?

    *She storms into Beths dressing room, to find a blow up doll, dressed just like Kelly*

    Kelly: What? What are you doing you freak!
    Beth: What? Nothing, nothing at all
    Kelly: You where just making with that
    Beth: Its just something i'm using until I get the real thing
    Kelly: That's disgusting, you're nothing but a gay Diva!
    Beth: I'm not gay, but I came close to turning after that night with your mom
    Kelly: My mom!?
    Beth: What can I say? Times were tough, and she was the cheapest in town. But don't worry, if you're looking for a partner, I hear your dad is on the market. He's always regretted the day he found that nickel, because then, he wouldn't have been able to afford your mom, and there also wouldn't have been a you
    Kelly: Whats wrong with you? You where just being nice about me, granted a little too nice, but...
    Beth: But nothing, if you don't want my love, then I won't give it you
    Kelly: Give it? I never wanted it in the first place, i'm barely legal
    Beth: That's not what Big Dave said

    *Beth pushes Kelly out the door, and yes, from behind*

    Raisha Saeed: Heidenreich flash backs anyone?

    Talking on Commentary

    Raisha Saeed: So what's next?
    Torrie: Probably another promo
    Raisha Saeed: No more matches?
    Torrie: Well, the battle royal I guess
    Raisha Saeed: Yikes, forgot this was the show before the PPV, we need all the hype we can get
    Torrie: Eggsactly, so what do WE do now?
    Raisha Saeed: Hype the matches so far for the PPV?
    Torrie: Okay, sponsored by the delicious, fruity, delicious, fruity, skittles, we bring you 'THE BASH!'
    Raisha Saeed: lol wut?
    Torrie: I dunno, i'm just doing what JR does
    Raisha Saeed: Can I be Jerry Lawler?
    Torrie: I don't see why not

    Raisha Saeed: For The Bash, we currently have the sexy Mickie James, facing Angelina for the WEW championship. Will Angelina lay down the law, and roast Mickie like she's beef?
    Torrie: I see what you did there!
    Raisha Saeed: And will Beth Phoenix finally pull Kelly Kelly?
    Torrie: SQUASH
    Raisha Saeed: Yah you're probably right, the only action we'll probably see there is Beth going to grab Kellys butt, nothing new though, it's not like she doesn't make her self available or anything
    Torrie: Then we have Michelle and Christy, yay!
    Raisha Saeed: Christy, man she killed it in playboy, DAT ASS
    Torrie: Raisha, I think that's too Jerry Lawler
    Raisha Saeed: How can you be too Jerry Lawler? Whatever, anyway, lets not forget Velvet and Melina, battle of the butts
    Torrie: It's a butt match?
    Raisha Saeed: No, it's got some kind of gimmick, it just wont be annouced yet, kind of like TNA's Victory Road, bahahahah

    Torrie: And the WEW Junior Champion, will have a mystery opponent at The Bash. But who?
    Raisha Saeed: We'll just let the IWC make threads and have them keep guessing, and wondering
    Torrie: And there will also be a battle royal (man WEW love these things), to find a new number one contender for the WEW Championship. The winner will then face the winner of the title from The Bash
    Raisha Saeed: Anyway, more stips to be annouced, but whatever, i'm done stalling, time for the main event!


    Battle Royal Contestants

    *All the contestants are ready in the ring*

    Tiffany: The following is for the WEW Junior Championship! The only way to win is by eliminating your opponents, by pushing them over or under the ropes, with both their feet hitting the floor. The last one remaining, will be your new champion!

    *All the women look at each other, Taylor and Katie Lea start trying to push each other over the ropes*

    Raisha Saeed: It seems Taylor is still mad that she got REJECTED by Alex Shelley
    Torrie: I'd be mad too if the guy I liked would rather get aids than sleep with me
    Raisha Saeed: If he slept with you he'd get aids anyway

    *Velvet and Melina start fighting, Kong lifts them both up and throws them over the ropes*

    Tiffany: Velvet and Melina have been eliminated!

    *Madison, Maryse and Daffney all try and lift Kong, but the girl is just too damn heavy. So they try rolling her under the ropes*

    Raisha Saeed: By god, she's stuck!
    Torrie: Someone get some butter
    Raisha Saeed: What? That won't get her free
    Torrie: No, it's just incase she's hungry

    *Kong is stuck now, and is unable to move!*

    Raisha Saeed: MARK OUT

    *Maryse and Daffney both go for some actual wrestling. Maryse pulls out The Stroke*

    Raisha Saeed: Hey! You stole that from Jeff Jarret!
    Torrie: I'm sure he doesn't care, he's too busy screwing Karen Angle

    *Maryse does that silly thing where she moves her hands. Daffney throws Maryse against the turnbuckle and then grabs Madison and throws her directly into Maryse. Daffney pulls out some chains from her pocket and ties them together*

    Torrie: Chaining two girls together? Sounds like some kind of porn movie
    Raisha Saeed: Yo girl, i'm Jerry Lawler remember

    *Maryse and Madison are chained together*

    Raisha Saeed: What the...okay, who bought Russo back from the dead and put him on the creative team?
    Torrie: The same person who reported Gail to immigration
    Raisha Saeed: Velvet Sky?
    Torrie: I guess implants can do amazing things
    Raisha Saeed: Damn straight, look what they did to Angelina
    Torrie: Detract attention from her face?
    Raisha Saeed: And get her a push

    *Madison and Maryse can't get free from the chains, and they fall over. Taylor Wilde climbs the rope to do a cross body. Maryse and Madison shout 'WE DON'T WANT A CONCUSSION!', they roll across the ring and just miss out on getting a head injury, but they roll too far and eliminate themselves by rolling under the ropes*

    Tiffany: Maryse and Madison have been eliminated!

    Raisha Saeed: So I guess this leaves Daffney, Katie, Kong and Taylor
    Torrie: Kong should just eat them and get it over with

    *Kong manages to break free from being stuck in the ropes, and she charges at Taylor and Daffney, they fall over, and Kong climbs the rope and hits a 450 splash. Katie stands there, and goes to hit Kong from behind, Kong turns around and uses the Implant Buster on Katie*

    Raisha Saeed: I wonder if Kong finds Vader Sexy

    *Torrie (wanting Taylor to win), grabs a chocolate bar from her bag and runs near the ring apron*

    Torrie: Hey Kong, i've got chocolate!

    *Kong looks at Torrie and then looks at the chocolate bar. She climbs out the ring and starts to follow Torrie, who by now, is running away in fear of her life*

    Tiffany: And Kong has been eliminated!

    Raisha Saeed: So I guess this leaves Katie, Taylor and Daffney, and me without a commentary partner.

    *Natalya comes out to join Raisha on commentary*

    Natalya: I guess things could be worse for you
    Raisha Saeed: How?
    Natalya: You could still be in TNA
    Raisha Saeed: Where the Knockouts division is taken seriously?
    Natalya: Yes
    Raisha Saeed: Yeah that would suck, how do you like Survivor Series?

    *Katie Lea gets up, dazed from Kongs Implant Buster. She runs over to Taylor Wilde, and delivers the Kat Nip. Her and Daffney lift up Taylor, Daffney lifts from the feet, and Katie from the hair. They swing her about, 1, 2, 3..and they throw her out the ring. Now it's just Daffney and Katie left*

    Raisha Saeed: So, is it true Russo is haunting the company now?
    Nattie: Yeah, apparently they saw his ghost backstage tonight
    Raisha Saeed: Explains the strange goings on
    Nattie: You mean the booking?
    Raisha Saeed: Exactly

    *Katie Lea hits a spinning back breaker on Daffney, and goes to push her out the ring, Daffney gets up and whips Katie against the ropes, Daffney runs to the ropes, Katie is dizzy from being spun into the ropes, and Daffney nails the diving Hurrcarana. Daffney goes to clothesline Katie out the ring, but Katie reverses, wraps her feet around Daffneys neck, and takes her to the mat with a head scissors take down! Daffney stands up and Katie runs at her and pushes her over the ropes*

    Tiffany: And here is your winner, and the new WEW Juniors Champion, Katie Lea!


    Raisha Saeed: So a Brit wins? I call favoritism
    Natalya: Huh?
    Raisha Saeed: The manager is English
    Natalya: Either way, we have a new champ, congrats to Katie, she's no longer the jobber she once was
    Raisha Saeed: Exactly, she's now a jobber with a title. Well kids, i'm hungry, and want a chocolate bar, with the mood Kong was in earlier, I better leave before she comes after me now that she's done with Torrie. Good night folks!

  20. #20

    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    The Derek Zoolander center for kids who can't read good and wanna learn to do other stuff good too
    Rep Power

    Re: WEW: Womens Entertaining Wrestling

    The Bash PPV Card

    Melina vs Velvet Sky
    Falls count Anywhere

    We'll see Velvet Sky and Melina lock horns at The Bash in a Falls count Anywhere match. Melina got all pissy at Velvet after Sky had mocked Candices death, and the two have been at each others throats ever since. What does Melina want out of this? Part of the company? Or is she just mad that Velvet has a nice face to match her implants?

    Michelle McCool vs Christy Hemme

    Michelle McCool and Christy have been taking sly digs at each other for weeks now over something as trivial as music. At The Bash will they both finally realise that neither have a future in the pop industry? Or will we be doomed for a year long feud that the IWC likes to call 'Another Triple H/Orton'.

    Natalya vs Awesome Kong
    #1 contenders match for a WEW title shot

    These two don't have much of a history, but the ghost of Russo demanded that this match be added to the card - mainly because they weren't doing anything at the PPV. Both these two will have a match to determine who the new #1 cotender will be for the WEW title. The winner of this match will face the winner of Angelina vs Mickie. Can Kong refrain from eating her chance to have a shot at the title by pinning Nattie instead of attempting to take a bite out of the delicious Canadian?

    Kelly Kelly vs Beth Phoenix
    Winner gets a date/restraining order

    For weeks now Beth Phoenix has been chasing Kelly, literally. From hitting on her, to making a blow up doll just like her, Beth has attempted to everything in her power to win the petite blonde dumbass beauty over. At The Bash, if Beth wins, she can have a date with Kelly, but if she loses, then Kelly will be allowed to take a restraining order out on Phoenix. We know this will be a squash match, but we just loved the stipulations!

    Five female mud Battle Royal
    Winner will get a WEW Junior Title shot

    This isn't your ordinary Battle Royal, the only way to win is chuck mud at your opponent and throw them over or under the ropes. Madison, Jillian, Maryse, Daffney and Eve will all participate, the winner will recieve a shot at the WEW Juniors title in the future. We made it a mud match just so we could see if Jillian would look better with or without her face covered. But all the same, it should be fun!

    Mystery Opponent vs Katie Lea
    For the WEW Juniors Title

    Katie won her WEW Juniors title in the show of Sparkle by winning a battle royal. Now Katie will defend her title at the PPV, but against who? We'll let the IWC decide who deserves it the most, and not go with them!

    Angelina Love vs Mickie James
    Inferno Match for the WEW Womens Title

    That's right, it's an inferno match, and we will see both Angelina and Mickie face off for the WEW womens title. Absoloutely anything can happen in this match. Mickie could burn her beef sandwhich, Angelinas fake boobs could catch fire, and maybe we'll finally find out if that thing on Angelinas face is her real nose.

    The Bash on PPV 31/07/09.

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