Kobe agrees to Bulls trade only if he gets to be renamed “Michael Jordan”
LOS ANGELES, CA and CHICAGO, IL–After weeks of speculation, Kobe Bryant has agreed to be traded to the Chicago Bulls, but with an unusual stipulation.
“The Bulls are ecstatic to announce that we’ve traded for Kobe Bryant today,” announced general manager John Paxson. “Rather, I should say, the Chicago Bulls have traded for Michael Jordan.”
That’s right; the Bulls agreed to the trade with the Lakers, sending the Lakers forward Tyrus Thomas; shooting guard Ben Gordon; forward Andres Nocioni; two draft picks; and one special caveat–that Kobe Bryant is now known as Michael Jordan.
“This is not simply a semantic thing,” said Paxson. “The player formerly known as Kobe Bryant is now actually Michael Jordan. And I gotta be candid, the Bulls are thrilled to have Michael Jordan back in action.”
By a special arrangement as part of the trade, Michael Jordan will get to keep both the stats he accumulated as Kobe Bryant, as well as his previous statistics as Michael Jordan. “I’m thrilled to be back with the Bulls, going for my tenth title,” said Michael Jordan. “I see Luol Deng as being a very similar presence to what we had with Scottie Pippen, and I see Ben Wallace as being a sort of 21st century Dennis Rodman, without the wedding dresses. So overall I really like our chances.”
Lakers head coach Phil Jackson was sad to part ways with Michael Jordan again. “I mean, we won nine titles together – three different three-peats,” Jackson said. “So it’s tough. I wish Michael the best of luck in his return to the Bulls. I think the Eastern Conference is looking better and better with the addition of Michael Jordan.”
Chicago mayor Richard Daley was thrilled about the trade. “Look, I was here when Michael was with the Bulls the first two times, so I know just what a tremendous impact he’s going to have on the Bulls,” he said. “And I couldn’t be happier. Michael is a pillar of this community, and we wish him well as he goes for his 13th scoring title, his tenth NBA finals trophy, and his sixth MVP award. He is truly a treasure of Chicago, and the city welcomes him back.”
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Hahah .. he's my fav. player and all, but it is funny. 
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