For fellow Brits!! Comments from our Chairman.

Tyler Durden

Some comments below from our beloved Chairman (at Crystal Palace), Simon Jordan.

On agents
"Football is a bullshit world. Agents are nasty scum. They're evil and divisive and pointless. They only survive because the rest of the sport is so corrupt and because leading football club people employ their sons in the job."

On tapping-up
"Last summer's record tapping fines - £300,000 to Chelsea, £75,000 to Ashley Cole and £75,000 to Jose Mourinho - were nominal in the context of their finances. The problem is that there's nothing beyond the unwritten code of decent behaviour to restrain press briefings. The one area where a spot of FA censorship would actually make sense is the one area that doesn't cause a flicker of interest in their media-monitoring bunker."

On referees
"The result of all this moist-eyed, village-idiot sentimentality is men like Brian Curson, our referee at Reading in midweek. No doubt he's a human, emotional, decent man. But is he someone who should be in charge of top-level football games?

"Here's a brief guide to why the answer is bloody well no. I've seen the full range of referees in 30 years of watching Palace: some really good, even Uriah Rennie pulls off a cracking performance occasionally, and some poor. All are inconsistent. On Tuesday Curson made himself a whole new category."

On his FA disciplinary hearing
"We then moved on to a cross-examination from their QC, an unexpected extension of his role as adviser to the panel. He decided to focus, at length, on words and their many meanings. He asked me what I meant when I said I thought my article was 'pragmatic'? I asked what he thought I meant, and the chairman said 'answer the question'. I accused the QC of meaningless semantics, so he asked me: 'What do you mean by semantics?' He wasn't joking."

On players and fans
"It's the fans that I love. They're the heart of the sport. I remember driving back after Palace lost to Reading a couple of years ago, and David, this disabled guy, was walking to the station on crutches. I picked him up and drove him back to London. I sat there the whole time thinking how much I hated the players for not representing people like him properly. I hated them for not winning and making this guy's life better. When I think about what people like him contribute and what agents and players take out of football, it drives me nuts"

On the influence of the media
"In terms of the credibility the papers have in dressing rooms, I've had players arguing their worth based on the marks out of 10 they get in The Sun."

On other Chairmen
"I don’t give a f*** about football protocol and the other club owners. They want me to sit and have lunch before the games. F*** that. I don’t go to football to drink chardonnay in the boardrooms with those tossers. I go to win games. I don’t have anything in common with 90% of football club chairmen. They don't interest me."

On the big clubs
"I'm no respecter of tradition and I have no time for the Manchester Uniteds and Arsenals of this world. There’s nothing to admire in these clubs. They're just bullshit worlds full of bullshit people."

On Alan Pardew
"Admirable, really. Good PR: it made Pardew seem a little less like Ian Beale for a day and a little more like a paragon of virtue."

On Birmingham City
"Birmingham - my favourite club, full of my favourite people."

"Let's be clear about this. Birmingham have not spoken to anyone senior at Palace, haven't made a bid, haven't made an enquiry. They haven't been told we'll sell him in the summer - they haven't been told anything. Sullivan has misled the press, his fans and ours, all - I'm guessing - in a sad attempt to make Birmingham look ambitious. It sums up the club - and its owners' routinely ridiculous conduct."

On Steve Bruce
"What happened between us - his decision to walk out on a two-year contract after three months, and my decision to injunct him - is well-documented, up to a point. Since it happened, Steve has made references in the press to the 'real reasons' he left, implying something went on at Palace that justified his decision to walk and that some sort of gagging order is keeping him quiet.

"There were no 'reasons'. There was no 'something'. People assume he's talking about interference, about me going into the dressing room. I've done that once in five years, long before Bruce's time. I'm blamed for not supporting his transfers, but only ever blocked two: a player called Arkadiusz Bak who we'd had bad reports about (Bruce subsequently signed Bak for Birmingham, then got rid of him after two months for being awful) and Steve Vickers, who wanted to sign for us, but live in Middlesbrough, train with Middlesbrough and only pop down to London on Thursdays."

On Bobby Robson
"People sympathise with Bobby Robson that it took Newcastle eight months to pay his £2.1m compensation - but with respect, what was it for?"

On Charlton fans
"In retrospect, of course I regret calling them morons. Imbeciles would have been more appropriate."

On Keanogate:
"There are two things you don't do with a player who you think is about to lose it in public. One, you don't interview him on your in-house corporate TV station. Two, if you mess up point one, you don't then try to suppress his comments, bury the tape and convince yourself it won't be leaked, or that the player will love you for it."

On Iain Dowie
"He's a leader. He's strong. We clash and there are chairs through windows. He can be aggressive, because good leaders are. He's the only true leader I’ve met in football."

On himself
"I'm nearly 40. What do I have? I mean, really. Everyone has inner feelings about themselves that no one else knows about. Mine aren’t all that good. I don't believe I’m a success. I don't believe I've achieved anything that matters. I've been guilty of seeing myself in other people's eyes and trying to live up to that image - predominantly my father’s image of me. He thinks I’m a racehorse. He thinks I can do anything. I hope I can. I hope I don't let him down."

The Phantom

Ha ha that was funny...

Some of his comments are sooo true, especially the one about players and fans.

Tyler Durden

I know that he's a complete git for a lot of people, but in making our club profitable, being a bona fide fan and providing a good deal of "tell it like it is" humour, I reckon 90% of fans of other clubs would love to have someone like him as their Chairman.

K Jay

He comes off well in that interview but there are times when he can just be a right prick. Mostly like every other fan in that instance.

I had a sig, once.

Tyler Durden

Point taken, but that's comments spread over the last few years KJay not just one interview

Crocker

I love the guy, the guy speaks his mind smething most peeps in football dont have the balls to do