How to liven up the Olympics?

Matt S.

Right, we all know that there are some really, really crap sports at the olympics.

How would you liven them up a bit? Forget all laws and stuff like that, this is purely the best way to run it.

My suggestions:

FENCING: Before each bout, both competitors must down five tequilas, then spin around 20 times. Forget armour. That'd possibly be the greatest thing to watch, drunk dizzy dudes with swords.

SWIMMING: Halfway through, release the piranahas. Then see how fast the f.uckers can swim the last 50m.

ARCHERY: The two opponents stand opposite each other wearing armour with three small holes in it. The last person alive wins.

JUDO: Get the fat hairy guys fighting outside pubs to do WWE style run-ins.

EQUESTRIAN - Every time the horse makes a mistake, another leg goes off to the glue factory.

CLAY PIGEON SHOOTING: Re-invent the sport as Drive-by Clay Pigeon Shooting. The clay pigeon lies on a table, then the competiors must release a CD that J-M, Hyde and Rambo all listen to. They must drive by in a Mustang with tinted windows and annihalate the clay pigeon.

HIGH JUMP - have a couple of chainsaws take the place of the bar. You don't jump high enough, you lose a limb.

MEDAL CEROMONY - The archers stand on one side, the archery target on the other.

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P.I.M.P.

I know i would watch women gymnastics if it was fully nude.

Pimps Up, Hoes Down

Miakal

Those girls are like - 14.

Dr. Giganto

Sports Moderator

The girl who won the gold for the US yesterday is pretty cute...but she's only 16