Sports cliches

Dr. Giganto

So, in my spare time, I often read sports blogs and/or message boards (dont worry, this is the only place where I actually post, albeit infrequently these days), and Irealized that the vast majority of sports "fans" out there have no idea what they're talking about. I'm going to keep a running list of common things that I hear/read people say that drive me up the wall, because it's usually nonsense. When you rely on cliches that you hear tv announcers say, you usually end up looking like an idiot.

So please, if you want to seem like you know what you're talking about, do NOT use any of these expressions:

"Good teams find a way to win" - This is most often used when a team has a rash of injuries to key players, and people still try to shit on their team. This is possibly the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Do you know why the guys who start are starters? BECAUSE THEY'RE THE BEST FUCKING PLAYERS ON THE TEAM!!!! When they get hurt, the team is obviously worse. The Colts are a very good football team, but if Peyton Manning, Marvin Harrison, and Reggie Wayne all got hurt, they'd be average at best.

This is also used when a referee/umpire blows a call. And when I say blows a call, I don't mean they went the wrong way on a bang-bang play. I mean, they REALLY blow it. For instance, the Troy Polamalu INT against the Colts in the playoffs last year. It was clearly an INT, but even after reviewing the play, the refs still gave the ball back to the Colts. Sure, the Stellers held on to win the game, but if the Colts had won, they would have been royally screwed out of the game, after doing everything that was necessary to win the game.

"What a joke" or "That team/player is a joke" - Nothing screams idiot more than calling a team/player a "joke". I have never read a single blog/article/message board post that called someone a "joke" that had a single intelligent, analystical point in it. Calling someone a joke is what idiots who aren't informed enough to actually discuss details of a game use, in the absence of actual analysis.

"That guy/team is a choker" - This is another thing that drives me absolutely fucking crazy. For years people called Peyton Manning a choker because he never won a playoff game. Then he went out and played absolutely flawlessly against the Chiefs and Broncos. But, did that stop people from calling him a choker? Of course not, because he ended up losing to an unstoppable Patriots team in the next round. In 2003 and 2004, the PAtriots went a combined 34-4. NOBODY who loses to them should be called a choker. People also called McNabb a choker for losing to the Patriots, to which I say, "WHAT????" That is so ridiculous. The word "choker" is so overused, it's gotten to the point where every single time a player has a bad game or a team loses, it's called a "choke." It's ridiculous and quite frankly, it's bullshit.

"That guy is overrated" - That is just like the "joke" thing before. Calling someone overrated is what idiots who don't want to accept that a player is actually good say when they don't have the stats to support their argument.

"Defense/pitching wins championships" - Sometimes true, sometimes not. When the Ravens and Bears won their Super Bowls, it was because of defense. When the Patriots won 32-29, I think the offense probably had a liiiiiiiittle bit to do with it. Do you know what wins championships? Scoring more points/runs than you allow. You can either score a ton of points, give up very few points, or some combination of the two. Note: 10 of the top 13 offensive teams in the NFL (as measured by points scored), including the top 4, made the playoffs last year. In 2004, 9 of the top 12 offensive teams made the playoffs, including the Top 4 in both conferences. Having a great defense helps, but you have to be able to score too

B-Money

King of the Arcade

Good read T.D., thanks.

A couple points I'd like to expand upon:

1) McNabb was only called a "choker" because he was literally choking in the huddle, gasping for air at the end of the game. I don't know if he was out-of-shape or if the Pats just beat him down that much.

2) ARod is the most over-rated joker choke-artist I have ever seen. He never finds a way to win the big game because his defense sucks and he doesn't pitch. :-)

B-Money

Dr. Giganto

"He pitched well enough to lose" - You hear this when a pitcher gives up like one earned run and loses 1-0, or two earned runs and loses 2-1 or something like that. Basically, it's a way of assigning blame to a pitcher who actually had a really really good game. Anybody with even a beginner's knowledge of baseball knows that giving up less than 2 earned runs these days is a very good performance from a starter. It's not his fault the offense couldn't score any runs.

This is also why win-loss records are EXTREMELY overrated, and why it's bullshit that Bartolo Colon beat Johan Santana for the AL Cy Young Award last year.

Danny Diamond

Founder/Admin

"He gave us 110% today" - Impossible and annoying.

"They never thought we could do it" - Like when you hear Rodney Harrison say that after the Patriots win their 3rd Superbowl in 4 years, it kinda loses its meaning. Umm, yeah. I think EVERYONE thought you could do it.

"I just want to thank Jesus" - Newsflash, Jesus doesn't give a rats ass about the Cowboys and Redskins game (unless he took the under). Even worse, what if say two boxers are both leaning on God or Jesus to see them through. Woudn't it be unfair to Jesus?

Danny Diamond

Founder/Admin

Or like when Roger Clemens lost it to Bob Welch in 1990 because Welch had 27 wins.

Look at these numbers.....

1990 OAK AL 27 Wins 6 Loses 35 Starts 2 Complete Games 2 Shutouts 127 Stikeouts 2.95 ERA

or

21 wins 6 loses 31 starts 7 Complete Games 4 Shutouts 209 Strikouts 1.93 ERA

Dr. Giganto

exactly DD...excellent example

Erin

Monk's First Lady

This drives me crazy! I used to hate it when my coaches said this. I much prefer the advice my Dad gave me when I played soccer: If you don't take a shot, you can't score.

Blitzkrieg

Administrator

Great read Tom. A good enough example of the defense wins championships thing is the Chicago Bears of last year. They had the same defense, a great defense, but they couldn't score at all. This year Grossman is healthy, playing well, they are scoring points and still have the same defense.. So now, they are legit while last year it would have been near impossible for them to win the Super Bowl.

I don't think A-Rod is necessarily overrated, the way idiot sports fans judge him. I think there's something to his poor play in the playoffs the last few years, but people forget, I believe in Seattle, he was a .320 hitter in the postseason. Out of the 30 teams in baseball, you know how many would love for A-Rod to be their shortstop? Probably 29 of them.

I've bashed A-Rod before, but it was more of me deciding that Ortiz is more important to the Red Sox.

Here's one I hate..

"He couldn't do it in New York" -
Does it really matter? Some people have played great for the Yankees in the postseason like Jim Leyritz to name one. Obviously, he could do it in New York. Well, what happens if he got 500 at-bats in another town? He'd suck. You know, I never hear anyone say, "he couldn't do it in Seattle"..

Do people in Boston care if someone struggled in New York but then played well for them? I'm tired of everyone putting New York ahead of everything. Guess what.. If you make the playoffs enough in any town and fail enough, you're going to hear about it. Just ask my Braves.

Dr. Giganto

Here's another one that drives me crazy:

They're winning because they're playing with a lot of confidence. Have any of you ever met a professional athlete? If there is ANY profession in which its members do not lack confidence, it's professional sports. When the Patriots beat the Dolphins or Bills, it's because the Patriots have more talent and are better coached, not because they are more "confident".