Originally Posted by results

Preshow Notes: As noted by CHIKARA officials on our message board, an issue at the Canada-US border prevented Buck Hawke, LuFisto and the Super Smash Bros. from appearing today. Their matches have been removed from the card; the other seven matches will be taking place as scheduled. Apparently Joe Hand took the heaters and lights with them when they split from the New Alhambra because it is cold and dark as all hell. Attendance is solid, around 350-375.

1. Gran Akuma & Icarus [0] [Team F.I.S.T.] vs Lince Dorado & Helios [1] [The Future is Now]: Justice Jon is your referee. Helios and Lince come out strong and fast, but F.I.S.T. snatch up Helios and start working him over with some really neat tag moves. Lince takes the lucha tag on a great dive by Helios. Future is Now hit some double team moves nowhere near as cool as Akuma and Icarus. After a somewhat sloppy exchange, Icarus hits Helios with a sick German for the win in 8:30. An alright opener, if a bit sloppy.

2. Hallowicked & Frightmare [0] [Incoherence] vs Brodie Lee & Grizzly Redwood [0]: Wicked comes out ready to go, rushing out to attack Brodie. After Bryce breaks up the action, Brodie and Grizzly gather on the outside only to be caught with a sick dive by Frightmare! The two short members of each team square off with Frightmare getting the best of the duel before Brodie comes in to bully the little guy. Sick suplex from Brodie, tossing Frightmare around. Big tag to Wicked, who takes it outside with Brodie. Brodie hits Wicked with Frightmare’s chain, but it’s too little too late as Frightmare catches Grizzly with a rollup for the victory in 6:06. First point for Incoherence.

3. Daizee Haze vs Sara del Rey: Quite possibly the 9,426th time these women have wrestled. Same stuff as all the other times, really. Not to take anything away from them though, good match. Daizee wins in 8:50.

4. Ultramantis Black & Crossbones [0] [The Order of the Neo-Solar Temple] vs Mike Quackenbush & Jigsaw [0]: Jigsaw and Quack in neat blue gear. Quack grabbed Mantis by the arm early and repeatedly told him “Tell me what I want”; Quack took him to the outside and then asked him “Tell me why Cube wanted it” and Mantis finally responded by noting that Saget was behind it. Very, very interesting… Bones dominates Jig, hitting him with some sweet power moves. After getting doubleteamed, Jig manages to make a break for it and hit the tag to Quack. Those two with some sweet combos, including a disgusting double stomp from Quack on Bones. Quack with a dive on a chickened Mantis and Bones on the outside. Jigsaw hits the Jig n’ Tonic in 10:28 for their point. Pretty good, fun match.

5. STIGMA & Colin Delaney [0] [The UnStable] vs K.C. “Cloudy” Day & Cheech Hernandez [1]: The UnStable have entrance music now, generic dark rock song. Colin looking really good early on, doing some nifty lucha-esque stuff with Cheech. STIGMA was dumped to the outside and Colin attempted to save the day by attempting a springboard armdrag of sorts on Cheech, but was shoved forward to the outside on top of STIGMA and caught with stereo dives by C&C. Colin is back to old form with the grounded lariat as well. A really awesome sprint to the finish as both teams hit big moves, whipping the crowd into a frenzy until STIGMA and Colin hit Cloudy with a spike tombstone piledriver in 13:28 to put one on the board for The UnStable.

Intermission: Big announcement - it’s intermission! This was awesome, as Louden built it up huge, special music hit and Hydra came out with a sign that said “Intermission”. Fun stuff.

Fabulous Two Promo: Mitch and Sweeney call Claudio out, repeatedly taunting him. Chikarason comes out, reminds them that Claudio is in Japan, and notifies them that since the trios match is off, both teams are eliminated from King of Trios contention. He also informs them that they have a match right now…

6. Mitch Ryder & Larry Sweeney [0] [The Fabulous Two] vs El Hijo del Ice Cream & Ice Cream Jr. [0] [Los Ice Creams]: Standard fare stuff, nothing too special early. Mitch is having none of the antics of Los Ice Creams, slapping the piss out of one’s chest after a butt pinch. The crowd chants “You’re a bully!” in response, and they repeat the sequence a few times over. Very funny, ends with the typical “Estupido!” deal since Mitch fell for the fake cries. Really fun match, Fab Two rack up the win after Sweeney drops a middle rope elbow in a little over 11. Fun and simple, really good.

7. Delirious vs Eddie Kingston: Delirious leads the crowd in a “King of Queens” chant. Pretty good match early on. Kingston dominating and keeping things on the mat in brutal fashion, including vicious knees to the crown of Delirious’ head. Delirious showing signs of a comeback with a 20 lariat Neverending Story, but King fires right back with 20 machine gun chops a la Kobashi. Kingston with sort of a Sliding D for two. Backfist into a Back Drop Driver seals the deal for Kingston in 11:43. A fine little match.

8. Campeonatos de Parejas Title Match ~ V2 ~ 1 Fall Match: Amasis & Ophidian [c] [The Osirian Portal] vs Fire Ant & Soldier Ant [7] [The Colony]: The Portal break up the standard title match photo with an attack on the ants, leading to a wild brawl around the outside to start things off. Both teams are coming out strong early, going for the one pinfall needed to end the match. Soldier Ant locks the CHIKARA Special on Amasis, Ophidian pulls him off into his Death Grip and Fire Ant breaks that up. Soldier Ant goes for a TKO but Amasis pulls out of it and plays possum with a knee injury…only to rock Soldier with a superkick when least expected. Fire Ant, hot tag, house of fire, you know the drill. Two of them knock Ophidian out of the ring and beat up on Amasis. All four men go for schoolboys in a chain to successive two counts. Twin 450’s from the Portal, two counts! Osirian Sacrament missed! TKO and Beach Break for TWO! Amazing match. Portal attempt hypnosis on Soldier Ant who fights it off and grabs Ophidian for an assisted Ant Hill. Fire Ant with the Beach Break for what must be the finish…foot on the ropes! I…this finish must be seen. Ophidian wins in 18+ with the death grip. So awesome. The ladder match has a lot of work to do to top this.

9. Young Lions Cup Decision Match ~ Ladder Match: Jimmy “Equinox” Olsen vs. Vin Gerard: For practical purposes, a Young Lions medallion has been suspended from the rafters in place of the Cup. Some really cool and creative ladder spots early on from both sides, including a sick legmare from Vin, sending Equinox’s face into the steel ladder. Vin is attacking Equinox’s leg hard out on the floor, using a steel chair to leave him laying. They bring the action back in the ring and Vin continues to bring it hard, hitting the knee with the ladder. Equinox makes a small comeback but it may be too late with the knee injury. Equinox ‘ranas Vin’s face into the ladder! Vin DDT’s Equinox head first into the ring steps, a disgusting sound! This may be the latest Equinox concussion. Vin removed Equinox’s mask and made taunts up to Chikarason in the commentary booth with the mask in hands. Vin climbs to the top, assuming Jimmy is dead…only for Jimmy to climb up the steps and scream “I’M STILL STANDING”. Vin climbs down to put him away; the two brawl on the ring apron…DEATH VALLEY DRIVER BY JIMMY ON A LADDER BETWEEN THE RING AND THE GUARDRAILS! Jimmy slowly makes his way up the ladder for the win in 23 minutes. GREAT MATCH!