Impact Wrestling Discussion - March 1st, 2012

**Fuji Vice** · 02-26-2012, 09:53 AM

No preview has been posted on the Impact website yet, so I bring to you my own little version of it. Keep in mind, I polished off a half bottle of Jim (Jeff?) Beam and four beers before I wrote this.

Don't miss Thursday's SMASH HIT Impact Wrestling broadcast on SpikeTV at 9/8c - all from the Impact Zone. Yes folks, if there's a bright spot in the universe then the Impact Zone may indeed be the place that its farthest from, but at least the rent is cheap. If you can't watch it on Thursday night, make sure to set your DVR to record it so you don't miss any of the Total Nonstop Action! Or is it the Impact? Who really knows with this company anymore?

Here is a preview of Thursday's broadcast:

- For the first time ever, the Impact Zone crowd will NOT be given Valium before the show airs. Rather Jeff Hardy will be distributing cocaine and speed, so the crowd is sure to be in a party mood. Jeff Hardy will also be available for pictures before the show, the cost is a half quarter of Northern Lights and $40 which will go towards his inevitable legal fees.

- The epic event will feature "The Immortal" Hulk Hogan once again doing the wrong thing by convincing Garett Bischoff that he can actually wrestle. Will Garett finally realize that Hogan is only doing this to troll him for the lulz?

- In X-Division action, "The Hairspray Crippler" Zema Ion will take on Laurie Sorensen and Bobo, Jesse's beloved dog, in a handicap match. Jesse will be at ringside and one can only hope Zema doesn't try to inject Drano into his neck again this week.

- Sting plans to address the fact that he hasn't sold a house in months and is possibly ready to retire from the real estate business altogether.

- There will also be a KO's "Full Frontal Fracas" match, where yes, you guessed it, they will all be baring their "assets" for your viewing pleasure. This match will start precisely at the beginning of the third quarter so make sure to tune in...its sweeps week after all.

- Plus Bobby Roode and Bully Ray go to Toronto (actually Peterborough but who are we kidding?) to confront Roode's family of ingrates. What will happen when Calvzilla and the boss of bosses finally show that little runt of his how to properly take a slap shot without falling down?

All this and much more on Thursday's IMPACT WRESTLING broadcast on SpikeTV, plus more news on the upcoming "Against All Odds" Pay-Per-View event!

Now I ask you...is that a show or is THAT A SHOW?!?! Tell me that it wouldn't immediately jump at least four ratings points? Ok, so that's not really what's going to be going on come Thursday, which is kind of a shame, but this LD will still be rocking the house. I promise to have the proper preview up when it becomes available, or perhaps I'll just leave this one if everybody likes it.

So let's all get ready for some wild and crazy times in here and for God's sake, get the beer early this week!

**Cyrus T** · 02-26-2012, 12:38 PM

Originally Posted by Fuji Vice

No preview has been posted on the Impact website yet, so I bring to you my own little version of it. Keep in mind, I polished off a half bottle of Jim (Jeff?) Beam and four beers before I wrote this.

Now I ask you...is that a show or is THAT A SHOW?!?! Tell me that it wouldn't immediately jump at least four ratings points? Ok, so that's not really what's going to be going on come Thursday, which is kind of a shame, but this LD will still be rocking the house. I promise to have the proper preview up when it becomes available, or perhaps I'll just leave this one if everybody likes it.

So let's all get ready for some wild and crazy times in here and for God's sake, get the beer early this week!

Greatest. Show. Preview. Of. All. Time.

Seriously, THIS is how TNA should hype up their shows from now on. ALL THE TIME.

**Eduardo** · 02-26-2012, 01:10 PM

Remember when people were dancing with the ewoks when Russo left - well maybe it was better the devil you know looking at that preview

Yeah that's right, I just implied Fuji is worse than Russo

**CAPS LOCK** · 02-26-2012, 01:15 PM

Originally Posted by Ed

Remember when people were dancing with the ewoks when Russo left - well maybe it was better the devil you know looking at that preview

Yeah that's right, I just implied Fuji is worse than Russo

Well, maybe if you participated in the LD's but nooooooooooooooo Ed is too busy being English and all that stupid poop. Get the Hell out, Ed, I hope you stub your toe or some sheet.

**Epic Andy** · 02-26-2012, 02:21 PM

- There will also be a KO's "Full Frontal Fracas" match, where yes, you guessed it, they will all be baring their "assets" for your viewing pleasure. This match will start precisely at the beginning of the third quarter so make sure to tune in...its sweeps week after all.

Going to watch iMPACT only for this.

**Fuji Vice** · 02-26-2012, 02:25 PM

Gee, I'm glad everyone has found that preview amusing. I guess I'll have to do one each week. Thankfully its not hard with the amount of material TNA provides.

**Epic Andy** · 02-26-2012, 02:29 PM

Originally Posted by Fuji Vice

Gee, I'm glad everyone has found that preview amusing. I guess I'll have to do one each week. Thankfully its not hard with the amount of material TNA provides.

You'll probably draw some new guys in too since they're thinking that TNA has turned into an absolute trolling show because of your previews.

**Eduardo** · 02-26-2012, 03:31 PM

Originally Posted by CAPS LOCK

Well, maybe if you participated in the LD's but nooooooooooooooo Ed is too busy being English and all that stupid poop. Get the Hell out, Ed, I hope you stub your toe or some sheet.

damn these timezones and responsibilities *shakes fist*