WWE Great American Bash
July 24, 2005 MNM (c) w/ Melina vs Road Warrior Animal and Heidenreich
With Charlie Haas released, MNM lost their only competition (Holly and Haas), so they needed a new team to wrestle. It just so happens that the WWE were about to release the Best of the Road Warriors DVD. Throw in a random midcard face who while being pushed was lacking direction, and there's your new top face team. Heidenreich starts the match by just throwing MNM around. In comes the out of shape Animal. Big shoulder block by Animal. MNM tries to hit a double suplex, but Animal suplexes both of them. Tag back to the big guy and the match becomes boring again. MNM works over Heidenreich, but he keeps kicking out of pin attempts. Tag to Animal. Animal speeds up the match with a forearm, suplex and an one legged dropkick to Nitro. Mercury nails Animal with a tag belt. 1...2...NO, Animal kicks out. Big powerslam by Animal. Animal calls for the Doomsday Device. Heidenreich hits Mercury with the trademark LOD finisher to pick up the pinfall and the tag team titles. Although out of shape, Animal was still able to be exciting. Meanwhile, his much younger partner couldn't do shit to impress me. An exciting way to start the show. Sure this title change only happened to help plug the LOD DVD every week, but Animal made the most of it in this match. Meanwhile MNM had a purpose instead of just winning matches. This would be their first full fledged feud. That being said, Heidenreich was undeserving of such a role. Are you telling me that the WWE couldn't find ANYONE more fitting? This could of been a huge break for someone. Instead, this was just a way to keep Heidenreich from being fired for another 6 months.
7 Minutes. 2 Stars.
Backstage, Eddie Guerrero talks to Josh Matthews. It seems as if he's forced Rey Mysterio to bring his son to the ring tonight.
Booker T w/ Sharmel vs Christian Cage
Fairly simple backstory for the match. In the 6 Way Match to crown the very first Smackdown Champion (Which turned out to be number 1 contender to Batista). In the match, Christian cheated to eliminate Booker. So Booker came out and cost Christian the match. The next week, Christian jumped Booker before their match and easily won. Booker controls the match early on. Some fans begin chanting for Christian. To cover this up, Cole and Tazz blames it on Canadians driving over to near buy Buffalo to see the show. Yeah alright. Now, try to explain why Booker is booed during the match. Midway in the match, Booker hits the Book End. 1...2...NO Christian kicks out. By this point, Christian is getting more cheers than Booker. Booker hits a Spinebuster and teases the Spinaroonie, but gets booed except for this one white chick in the first row. Booker goes for the Scissors kick, but Christian moves out of the way. Unprettier is reversed by Booker. Missile Dropkick by booker. 1...2...NO. Booker and Christian fights on the outside. Booker rams Christian in the steps. Booker heads to the middle rope waiting for Christian. Back in the ring, Christian gets the middle rope scissors kick. 1...2...3...Booker with the win. While the match was slow at first, it built up to quite an exciting finish. The WWE pushed the wrong guy here. Even as a heel, Christian was epic over. Meanwhile Booker was booed. Even though Cole and Tazz made up some BS excuse as to why this was happening, it was quite obvious why this was happening. Booker was acting like a 80's face by bringing his wife out to the ring all the time. Those kind of faces were no longer popular. What is popular these days is exactly what Christian was. A very charismatic cocky heel. It's as if the WWE believed people would still cheer a face just because they're a face. It seemed as if the WWE heard the boos for Booker and would turn him heel over the next few months. As for Christian who was hands down one of the most over stars on SD? Jobbed out. Bullshit.
12 Minutes. 3 Stars.
Backstage, Steve Romero is with Melina. She's still upset about what happened to MNM. She does know that no one will she her in her bra and panties later tonight.
Orlando Jordan (c) vs Chris Benoit - US Title Match
Truth be told, I can't remember at all how this all began. My only guess is that they needed someone to make OJ look good. A lot of chopping and kicking to start things out. Once OJ realizes that he can't beat Benoit with chops, he tries working on Benoit's arm. But that fails as Benoit Dragon Screw Leg Whips OJ out of the ring. Back inside, Benoit is working over OJ's leg while giving more kicks and chops. OJ tries to remove the turnbuckle pad but from behind gets a German Suplex. OJ works on the ribs of Benoit now. Something has to work for OJ right? Jordan tries several different pin attempts only to get 2 each time. Benoit starts beating OJ with chops, forearms and the 3 German Suplexes. Top rope headbutt...1....2...NO, Jordan kicks out. OJ heads into the corner and starts messing with the turnbuckle again. This time he's able to remove it. OJ counters a German and sends Benoit flying into the exposed turnbuckle. Benoit is knocked out cold and Jordan pins him. Benoit may of got the loss, but he beat the hell out of OJ for most of the match. It seemed like nothing OJ did could help him keep the advantage for any amount of time. Benoit also pulls out Jordan's best match from the WWE. Of course Jordan would continue to put on shitty matches like before this match, but for one night, he looked like a solid wrestler. For his strong efforts, Benoit is giving a standing ovation when he wakes up. Not as good as Benoit's future 2005 battles with Booker T, but for working with someone as untalented as Jordan, it's a damn good match.
15 Minutes. 3 Stars.
It should be noted that at this point, I began to second guess all of the talk about how this was a terrible PPV. After 3 matches, this was shaping up to be a potentially very good PPV.
The Undertaker vs Muhammad Hassan w/ Davari and the sympathizers
Pre-match has Hassan cutting his farewell promo. Hassan says how he won't lose tonight, but does say he will leave for good if he does. Aka...he's gone. Taker comes out and the match begins with Taker hitting punches and Hassan running around. To be fair, that's most of the match. Taker heads on the outside and attacks one of the terrori....I mean sympathizers. One of the other sympathizers chokes Taker with piano wire. How very giallo of him. Hassan with the Camel Clutch, but Taker stands up and hits the Electric Chair. Taker boots and fights off Davari and the sympathizers. Chokeslam and that's all they wrote for Hassan. Post match has Taker destroying the sympathizers and Davari. Hassan tries to get away, but is caught on the entrance ramp. Chokeslam on the steel. Taker removes two floorboards and gives the Last Ride to Hassan through the stage. *Waits for the WWE crew to remove the crashmat.* and we see Hassan on the cement floor with a lighting rod under him. The bottom of his head is covered in blood. What a shitfest. It was basically a squash, but with the terrorists keeping it going on longer than it should have. I never understood the popularity of Hassan. I didn't find him to be that good of a wrestler. Hell, he produced two of the worst 2005 matches of Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho. As far as talent goes, Davari was the one with all of it. That being said, this was boring and predictable. RIP Hassan.
8 Minutes. 1 1/2 Stars.
Backstage, Torrie Wilson promises Steve Romero that she will give everyone exactly what they want, Melina in her bra and panties. Just a thought, but isn't that kind of an insult to yourself? That people would rather see some other woman in her underwear than you?
The Mexicools vs The bWo - 6 Man Tag
Time filler~! This came about because the Mexicools were interrupting matches. The bWo said they were doing it first. The Mexicools performs a lot of entertaining lucha moves while the bWo tries to slow down the match. It's during this match that I realize longtime WWE jobber, Steven Richards was above doing the bWo in '05. Psicosis with the TNT Legdrop to pin Richards. There was a few fun moves, but this was just filler. Tazz and Cole barely talked about the match unless one of the Mexicools hit a move. I believe Meanie left right after this PPV. Meanwhile, Nova would go back to doing Simon Dean and Richards would be jobbing again until he's taken off of the road for nearly a year.
5 Minutes. 1 1/2 Stars.
Backstage, Rey Mysterio talks to his son, Dominic. Dominic at 8 years old looks almost older than Rey.
Rey Mysterio w/ Dominic vs Eddie Guerrero
This feud that started out as a friendly battle between friends esclated into Eddie's obsession with beating Rey. Once he realized he couldn't, Eddie threatened to reveal a secret involving Rey's son if he didn't wrestle him tonight. If Rey wins, Eddie won't tell the secret. If Eddie wins, we get the secret tonight. Before the match, Eddie makes Rey shake his hand and hug to show Dominic that they're friends. Rey attacks Eddie and it's on. Eddie just can't control Rey, so he begins messing with Dominic. After grabbing and letting go of Rey's kid, Eddie jumped Rey and finally was punishing him. Eddie's heat begins to fizzle out as cheers begin. Tazz tries to cover it up by saying it's those Canadians again. Once again, that's BS. Rey is barely able to move when Eddie hits 2 sets of 3 Amigos. Brainbuster~! Frogsplash~! Eddie with the cocky cover. 1...Rey turns Eddie over~! 1...2...3! Rey wins since Eddie was too cocky to cover him right. With Dominic, Rey leaves the ring knowing that the secret will never be revealed...until that Thursday. This was really the point where the feud became terrible. I dug the premise of the feud of Eddie just becoming jealous of Rey, but once they brought Dominic into the storyline, it was all down hill. Match wise, this was yet another disappointment. There was too much stalling interaction with Dominic and then it was a squash with Eddie in control. I'm all for Eddie losing since he was cocky, but having Rey pull him down after just a 1 count hurt the credibility of the Frog Splash. After 6 suplexes, a brainbuster and a Frog Splash, Mysterio shouldn't have been able to reverse the pin that quickly. Back to the Eddie cheers. This is just like the Booker/Christian match. Eddie was entertaining, especially when he messed with Dominic. Meanwhile, Rey was made to look like Eddie's personal bitch. Grow a set of balls and try to kill Eddie instead of doing everything he wants or else he'll tell the secret. I really don't think Rey ever recovered from this storyline. This feud took away all of the mystery of Mysterio. So when he's booed these days, it's because he's no longer that hungry kid who was willing to do anything to win. Sensitive Rey just screams PUSSY. No one wants to cheer for a loser like that. Anyways, this wasn't as good as their WM match, which isn't saying much.
16 Minutes. 2 Stars.
Backstage, Uncle Sam JBL tells us that he will beat Batista, since he's a Wrestling God.
Torrie Wilson vs Melina - Bra and Panties Match w/ Special Guest Ref: Candice
Candice is still a meaningless face diva. Melina upset about losing the tag titles, doesn't even bother doing her entrance. Abdominal stretch by Torrie and she removes Melina's shirt. Torrie goes for the pants but is pushed outside. Back in, Melina removes Torrie's shirt. Nice suplex/floatover by Torrie to try and remove the pants of Melina. Hotshot to Torrie and Melina removes her pants to win the match. Post match has Melina hitting Candice, so Candice and Torrie double teams her and removes her pants. Candice decides to strip as well. Can you say piss break? This was about the time Torrie was finally showing some improvement, so this wasn't too terrible. A regular match between the two might of even been decent. Torrie and Candice would be sent to Raw soon after this match to form Vince's Angles/The Pinks with Victoria.
5 Minutes. 1 Star. Batista (c) vs JBL - World Heavyweight Title Match
JBL is passing out tiny USA flags to everyone. Actually, he's throwing handfuls to the crowd. That seems quite dangerous. Batista heads to the ring and this mat classic begins. Actually, it does begin, but it's far from a mat classic. To say this was a borefest would be a misjustice to past shitty matches. It's just a power match of both guys trying to out power each other by running into each other. Late in the match, Batista pulls Nick Patrick into him so that JBL shoulderblocks Patrick. Cole and Tazz ignores it. OJ comes down with a chair and nails Batista. JBL covers Batista, but the ref is still down. Batista gets up, but is nailed by a Closeline from Hell, the ref is still down. Batista looks to have the match in his control, so OJ comes back with the chair. Spinebuster to OJ. Batista hits OJ with the chair and hits JBL as well. But wait, the ref woke up just in time to see Batista use the chair. DQ. Postmatch has Batista destroying OJ and JBL with Batista Bombs. Idk what sucked more, the match or the DQ call. This really just shows who was carrying the Batista/Hunter feud. This also shows that JBL should never be booked in non stip matches. And to think, they actually booked a rematch for Summerslam.
20 Minutes. 1 Star. Overall
It looks like I spoke way too soon when I said this looked like it would be a very good PPV. After the US title match, this was one terrible match after another. I won't bash SD too hard though. In the matter of 1 month, they lost many wrestlers through the draft, gained some with the draft and had several wrestlers fired. So I can understand why this wasn't a booked well. That being said, it doesn't mean the matches had to be bad. It's pretty sad some out of shape over the hill former wrestler performed better than most of the wrestlers here tonight.
Best Match: Booker T vs Christian
Worst Match: Batista vs JBL
Overall Grade: D
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