This is a discussion on Essay of an Ice Cream craving. within the General Discussion forums, part of the Non Wrestling Forums category; I've got this craving that won't go away. I want some double chocolate chunk ice cream, now.
How do you ...
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I've got this craving that won't go away. I want some double chocolate chunk ice cream, now.
How do you go to the store and just buy ice cream though? People will make fun of me. I know they'll be snickering to themselves, something like; "look at that fatty. He's going to go home and sit on the couch all night watching CSI, while eating his double chocolate chunk ice cream."
I thought about maybe buying something with it. Condoms? Maybe they'd think I'd have a night of fun planned. Perhaps Toilet Paper, and then mention I'm lactose intolerant? That's gross.
How is it if I were to buy the ice cream with toilet paper, it's no longer embarrassing? Clearly there's an issue here. I'm embarrassed about my eating, but not the result of my eating.
I thought about excuses too. Maybe I have a pregnant wife whose having a serious ice cream craving right now. But then they'd want to know all about the pregnancy, what the name is, boy/girl and so on. Maybe I already have kids and they were good on their day off. That would work right? It'd just be creepy. The thought of me having kids creeps me out.
Life was easier when I lived at home with my parents. The fridge was always stocked full with an endless supply of ice cream (and chicken nuggets). I never had to worry about buying any of it either.
You know what - Fuck 'em, fuck 'em all. I want my ice cream, and I'm going to get my fucking double chocolate chunk ice cream.
This is basically what the cashier will think, this is about 90% accurate, by the way.
"Hey, look at this guy, he is just buying Ice Cream, what a loser. Oh...wait what is this, it's a gum packet. Yeah...yeah this guy is alright...gum and ice cream is hot, I wish he had his pants off right now. Maybe I could enjoy it with him later, so I'll give him my number and hopefully he wont be watching CSI if I go to his house."
God, the lamest part of all this is that I know exactly what you mean. And I'm pretty skinny!
How pathetic is this little proud feeling I get every time I load up the belt up with fresh foods and vegetables that clearly make it look I'm cooking for myself? Pretty pathetic, yes. But in the eyes of the cute cashier? Whew, this dude is well-rounded!
I can picture you taking a spoon everywhere you go tbh, at work, when your out shopping, when your going for a drive, when your visiting family members etc. just in case you stumble across a random tub of ice cream that has been tactically placed into your hands.
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And when there is no hope,
"I'll smoke some crack, I'll shoot some dope!"
When theres no enemies,
"I sit and stare at my T.V.
and in my ignorance,
I'll be a slave and sycophant!"
I can picture you taking a spoon everywhere you go tbh, at work, when your out shopping, when your going for a drive, when your visiting family members etc. just in case you stumble across a random tub of ice cream that has been tactically placed into your hands.
I'd like to know what inspired you to decide this!
I'd like to know what inspired you to decide this!
I honestly dont know, I've lost the plot.
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And when there is no hope,
"I'll smoke some crack, I'll shoot some dope!"
When theres no enemies,
"I sit and stare at my T.V.
and in my ignorance,
I'll be a slave and sycophant!"
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