Beaker

I know I haven't really been posting much at all in the last few months or so. I have been in a bad spot, very stressed and extremely depressed. All I do is work, and go home, and pay bills. I can't save money up, I live in low income housing, meaning no matter how much I make, my rent is 1/3 of my pay. Pretty much, I'm stuck in a rut. For the last 6 to 7 months alone, I've isolated myself from my gf, who I love to death. But I've been so depressed, that I started to just be a zombie at home, and me and her barely talked anymore. No real conversations! Well while I was trying to fix my problems by myself, I ended up pushing my gf of 4.5 years away. I've been trying for a couple weeks to make contact again. I was too late though. Last night she let me know that she wants to break things off, and move to her grandparents. I'm now more upset than ever. I've been crying for a few days, because deep down, I knew this was happening, and it was all my fault. It's totally not fair to her, the way I treated her, for that I truly despised myself. She wants me to better myself. I want to better myself for her and us, she wants me to do it for me. I feel if I have no one to change for, then I have no reason to change. I miss her, I love her, I want her to be happy, so I support her decision even though this is gonna makes things so much worse for me. She's my first gf, and we started dating when she was 16 and I was 19. I guess I just don't know how people can get over someone, especially after so long together. I don't know if I am capable. That's my rant, if you read it, thanks for your time. Any replys would be appreciated

Mikk

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Randy Orton

Just start drinking lol. Thats what I do and I forget everything.

James Deuce

Move in with some family or something, then you will be able to save up some money, because of not paying any rent and stuff. Just enough time to get back on your feet. I'm sure they would understand. Or even a friends for a bit, if you don't have any family around you, or your work.

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Beaker

Unfortunately, I have no one I can turn to. None of my friends live on their own. My family that's close don't have extra space. I'm pretty trapped where I am

Gigglypuff

I know what youre feeling there. i think it takes a heck of a long time to be fully over it. According to Sex and the City, lol, it takes half the length of time you went out with someone to get over it. If thats true I still have 4 months left to go and Ive been trying for 2 years. It can happen and will happen but not without some heartbreak along the way I have to say.

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aaron

This is gonna sound cliche, but the fact that you can admit it is half the problem. Now you have a focus, to get your gf back, so use that to motivate yourself. it's not going to be easy, but nothing in life worth having comes easy.

Not sure what your job is but bet as much money as you can by doing overtime, working public holidays, take night shifts, etc.

Plus if money is tight, there are a few things you can do to save, such as downgrade your grocery shopping . i.e. if you buy premium brands, go down to supermarket brands or economy brands.

CM Diddy

That sucks bro. I also just recently split with my gf, and have been forced to move out and crash with a friend of mine. Ending relationships suck, but that seems to be the least of your problems right now.

It seems as if you need to sort things out, and try to figure out whats depressing you to begin with, then try and fix it. Once you can get your head right, then if its meant to happen you can win back your ex.

As far as money problems go, realize you arent the only one feeling it. The Bush economy blows, everything is getting pricier, and its harder then ever to stay current on bills, and try to maintain some type of life. Im 28 and I go through the same shit. It definitley blows but you arent alone there.

And thats my attempt at a pep talk. Or if you want to come to Providence we can go get smashed and find some sluts to get over our loss of gf's. Whatever floats your boat!

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Spawn-Iz-Gawd

Hi there. i know you don't know me from Adam and I am the noob here. But have you considered going in for some sort of counselling? The reason why I ask is that I have seen many who are at the point where you are in the field that I work in and counselling and possibly short term treatment may be in need here. I'm not sure what you own personal views may be on the subject, but I would highly recommend that you look into it.

Beaker

My personal views on counseling is that I would rather do with out. I have always tried to work things out myself. Although at this point I am probably willing to try counseling, meds for depression, anything to make things better. Better for me as a person, and hopefully better for me and my ex. I suppose as long as we can remain friends, I will be ok. But my ultimate goal is to get her back. I now realize that everything she's ever said to me about how I deal with things or how I act when things bother me is true. I knew they were true, but only now can I admit my faults. Like they always say, "you never know what you have until it's gone," that couldn't be truer. I'm going to try and use this situation as a motivation to better myself, and better this situation. But I keep finding myself with a few moments of free time that then turns into me thinking about her and I get upset and start to lose interest in doing anything, I lose energy.

We were together 4.5 years, and lived together for atleast 3 years. Learning to sleep alone after that long of having her next to me is going to be tough. Not only do I have to get over in that aspect, but the car we shared was in her name. So now I have to rely on walking or taxis. I'm ok with that, but its just another change to deal with. I have to either shop more often because I have to carry the groceries home, or I have to make sure I have a few extra dollars to get a taxi. Plus I start work at either 630 am or even 5 am throughout the week. I am not a morning person, so I'll be taking taxis to work, and if it rains, I'll be taking one home as well. That's gonna be an extra $20 to $70 dollars depending on weather, and other factors. There is just so much besides losing her that I have to deal with too