Cliquemania!!!

Jayman

Super Moderator

*The PPV warning message, you know, the one telling you not to record this or you will get thrown in jail and raped by a large man named “Bubba”, plays on the screen for a few moments. Then, it fades away and you see the CWF logo. It crumbles and the words “It’ll never be the same after tonight….” appear on the screen. That crumbles as well and the feed cuts live to Madison Square Garden in New York! The home of the first Wrestlemania is also go into history as the venue for the inaugural Cliquemania (copyright). The arena where the New York Knicks and Rangers normally call home is tonight the stomping grounds of the (super)stars of the Clique Wrestling Federation! Tens of thousands of fans are shown screaming and stomping their feet from the floor to the top level. Hundreds of signs are shown, and a few are illustrated on the big screen high above that include: “Marry me Jackies!”, “God > Women”, “I came to see Simon whoop JC’s ass!”, “A-Bomb is Cliquemania’s MVP”, and “Zar is my wife’s Gigolo!!” We cut to see the largest display of pyrotechnics in CWF history go off from the elaborate stage area. The jumbo-tron above the entryway shows the CWF logo and the loud rock music is booming. The camera pans around the ring and comes in right in front of the two commentators for tonight, King Jayman and Commissioner Felix. Felix is dressed in a classy black tuxedo, while Jayman has wrestling attire on for the first time, in preparation for his match with Dakstang.

Commissioner Felix: As the Commish of this great federation, let me be the first to welcome you all to the greatest wrestling extravaganza ever offered in this fake wrestling federation….an idea I came up with all by myself and didn’t rip off anyone – Cliquemania!!!!! And with me tonight is the very man who will take down that hickboy Dakstang….King Jayman!
Jayman: Welcome one, welcome all.
Felix: ……Dynamite drop-in, Jay!! They don’t call him the best color man in the business for nothing folks. We have a whooping 3 titles on the line tonight: Our tag team titles will finally have a undisputed owner in the Fatal Fourway Elimination match. The newly made “Not-World” title will find it’s first owner when Mikk and Blade/Eddie/Blitz/Krieg go one-on-one to continue their bitter rivalry! And finally, in the main event, in the battle to show true supremacy of who runs the Clique….Joe Cool will battle Simon for his World Heavyweight Title. The lineup is stacked tonight folks!
Jayman: Elsewhere, Slimdust will step into the ring against Suntan Superman as the only man the large Samoan fears in our federation. Also, God will look to demolish the only lady in the CWF he has not defeated yet when the Master-Debator steps into the ring with Erin. And of course, I’ve personally had enough of this “Dakland” crap and will look to shut the West Virginian up for good when I go one-on-one with Dakstang.
Felix: But first, we have our opening matchup coming your way right now. It’s an intergender tag team matchup between two teams who are in the middle of a fierce rivalry. Let’s look at how this went down.

*Cue a video package that begins with Jackie Pies interviewing Giganto and Gigglypuff. The two members of the CWO begin to berate Jackie, with Giganto teasing her and Gigglypuff slapping her across the face. They walk away in time to see Zar333 tend to the hurt announcer. Next clip shows Zar beating up on Giganto the very next week after a tag match. Finally, the next week on RAW IMPACT!, the Jackies vs. Gigglypuff match ended with one big battle in the middle of the ring. A graphic shows Gigglypuff and Giganto facing off against Zar333 and Jackies tonight.

Felix: This rivalry has reached a head tonight, and Zar is looking to slap some respect into Giganto for the rude and perverted comments he made just 3 weeks ago. The ladies will also be in this match, making it a tag team affair.
Jay: Did someone say affair?

*We cut backstage where Blade, Gigglypuff, and Giganto are all lacing up their boots in preparation for their respective matches tonight. None of them are even looking at eachother, but rather focused on strategizing for their match. Simon bursts in the room, scaring the three CWO members. He is still in a black suit, with the World Title over his shoulder.

Simon: Tonight is the biggest night of all our careers. As the best group of athletes this federation has to offer, we need to go out there tonight and show everyone why they need to fear us. It doesn’t matter if they are with us or against us. The Clique World Order will soon be taking over this federation, and it all starts tonight with Giganto and GP. You two start the night off right by making Zar bleed. GP, embarrass the hell out of Jackies tonight, just as you did when you slapped the taste of Giant out of her mouth. Blade…tonight you’re going to do just what you did at Survivor Monks: show Mikk why he doesn’t belong in the ring with the CWO. And in the finale tonight, I’ll brush Joe Cool off my shoulder, just as I did with Felix a month ago. Felix and Joe will realize that they don’t run this place…I do. Simon is the leader around here, and by the end of Cliquemania, everyone will know it!

*Blade, Giganto, and Gigglypuff remain silent as Simon turns and walks away, and the action cuts back to ringside in time for the Canadian National Anthem to start. Zar333 enters the arena, with Jackies on his arm, to a good ovation. Many “Save Us Zar.333” signs are held up by his fans, and a few boys have signs indicating a giant of their own. Jackie smiles and enters the ring after Zar holds the ropes open for her. They wait for the CWO theme to start up and the cheers quickly change to boos. Giganto’s massive frame steps through the curtain and Gigglypuff follows him out there, both dressed in their wrestling gear and ready for a fight. They head down the ramp and slowly get in the ring, delaying the match. It looks like Zar and Giganto are going to start things off. Collar tie-up by the two, as Zar takes Giganto over in a side headlock, but Giganto works his way to a base, catching a couple of elbows to the midsection of Zar. Giganto whips Zar into the ropes, Zar comes off and a clothesline by Giganto..No! Zar ducks and bounces off again before hitting a spear. Zar with a quick cover, but only 2.

Jayman: Zar should know it's too early for a cover in this match. It's going to take more than just a spear to put Giganto away!

Both Giganto and Zar back to their feet, and an armdrag takedown by Giganto. However, the Savior snaps back to his feet and drop toe holds Giganto. Giganto crawls over and tags in Gigglypuff. The crowd boos for the malicious brunette, but she focuses on Zar instead. A headlock by Gigglypuff, but Zar works to build a base and breaks the hold with an elbow to the midsection. Zar hits a quick kick to the midsection followed by a DDT. Rather than go for the pin, Zar hits the ropes and comes off with a knee drop to the midsection before making the tag to Jackies. From getting the tag, she climbs the top rope and leaps off, attempting a top-rope splash. Giggly moves in time for Jackies to hit the mat hard. She writhes around in pain while Giggly is up and is stomping on Jackies. Crowd is booing loudly here, and Giggly turns to yell at the audience, taking her eyes off the match. Jackie sees this opportunity and reaches up and pulls Gigglypuff back and down in a schoolboy…er schoolgirl. Jackie leans over with all her weight and manages to score the 3-count! Jackies rolls out of the ring and raises her arms up with Zar while Giggly rights herself and looks around confused, as if confused about what just happened. Giganto looks down at her angrily, but keeps his focus on Zar and Jackies, who are heading up the ramp in celebratory fashion.

Felix: Well things have gotten off very well if you ask me, and the CWO didn’t get the jump they wanted early in this pay-per-view.
Jayman: Jackies took that small window of opportunity she saw and pulled Gigglypuff into that pinning maneuver while she was distracted by the crowd. A great job by our best..and only..interviewer.

*Simon is shown backstage watching the monitor, and shaking his head calmly. He turns and begins talking with Blade, but the audio is muted so we can’t hear what they are saying. We can only assume they are talking strategy. The screen goes split down the middle to show the varying warm-ups between Slimdust and Suntan Superman. On one side of the screen, SS is doing chinups in his locker room, screaming in an intimidating fashion as he pulls up each time. On the other side of the screen, Slimdust prepares for his match by watering some daisies in a nearby pot. He smiles happily at them.

Jayman: Our next bout is a singles competition between the meanest and the craziest. Suntan Superman and Slimdust are going to go one-on-one tonight in a grudge match. These two have got the oddest rivalry going on right now in the CWF, and it all started with a cute message. Let’s go back 3 weeks…

*We cut back to a video package that is showing SS dominating his competition in the ring left and right, mostly by use of his Dominator finisher. Then, we are shown watching SS in his locker room reading a note from an “admirer” who wants to face him in the ring, or possibly the bedroom. The next week, SS is getting massaged backstage only to reveal the masseuse to be Slimdust himself. SS runs out of the room in fear, obviously not happy with another mans hands on him like that. We see SS and Felix arguing on more than one occasion about a “Not-World” Title shot. Felix announces one random match on the Cliquemania card will be for the NW Title. Slimdust continues egging on SS to “wrestle” around the ring with him. Finally, SS cautiously accepts Slimdust’s proposal, knowing this would be only way for a possible NW Title shot. In the end, Felix did not choose SS’s match as a title match, but the match goes forward anyway.

*”Banner of Freedom” – the national anthem of Samoa – plays over the loudspeakers. The crowd boos as the big man heads down the ring slowly. He looks around him nervously and over his shoulder at times, but slides in the ring anyway. Britney Spears “I’m Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman” is next to play and Slimdust struts out Ric Flair style, with flashy pink boas wrapped around his neck. His attire is to the nines – he has pink spandex covering only his genitals, and for some reason it’s also a thong. SS throws up in his mouth a little. Slimdust crawls around the outside of the ring and grabs a microphone.

Slimdust: I know how badly you wanted this to be for the Not-World Title, so I am going to do you a favor because you’re my “Big Cuddly Teddy Bear”. This match will be for this right here – my Sexyweight Title. I will put in on the line here tonight and if you pin me (oohh….yum) then you can have it! But if I get on top of that massive frame of yours and keep you down for the count, then I’m keeping it. Now ring the bell.

The bell does ring and Slimdust ties up with SS, but the Samoan throws him off and shakes a little in disgust. He “wipes” away the sweat from his body and just charges at Slim with a running shoulder block. Slim ducks down and SS charges right into the turnbuckle. Slim slips an arm between SS’s legs and flips him over into a schoolboy pin. SS quickly kicks out at 1 and screams at Slimdust, and then slaps him across the face. Slim screams like a girl and covers his cheek, beginning to cry. The crowd boos and SS starts to smile, gaining some confidence. He picks Slim up over his head and tosses him to the outside of the ring. Slim lands hard on the rubber mat and rolls around while the referee begins to count him out. SS stays in the ring, satisfied with a count-out victory. But when the referee gets to 8, Slim has crawled back in and dodges a running clothesline from Suntan. Slim with a dropkick, but it only makes SS reel back a bit. Slim with a second standing dropkick, but SS trips back a little and bounces into the ropes. The ropes tie up around his arms, and SS is trapped. The crowd cheers at this sight, and Slimdust begins to get a huge grin on his face. SS has a look of fear and shakes his head “NO!” at Slim. But it’s too late: Slimdust approaches him and proceeds to execute…..a tickle? Slimdust tickles SS under the armpits, and SS begins laughing uncontrollably. The referee, confused, asks if SS submits to it. SS laughs and shakes his head, but Slim continues with the tickling. Unknown the to ref and Slim, who are busy looking at SS, Slim’s legs are now between Suntan’s right foot. SS swings his foot up in one swift motion and connects right between Slim’s legs with a low-blow, and the ref didn’t notice it. Slim falls back, clutching his nuts. Meanwhile, SS leans back in the ropes and they untie around his massive arms. SS picks up Slimdust and hurls him over his shoulder like a limp noodle. SS throws him forward, stomach-first, into the dominator and covers him for the 1…..2……3!

Jayman: And a cheap maneuver there if you ask me with the low blow by SS, but it went unseen and the Samoan has gotten the victory.
Felix: And also Slim’s Sexyweight Title! Look, SS is now holding it high above his head, celebrating.

*But soon, he brings the pink, sparkly Sexyweight Title in front of his face and looks at it curiously. He holds each end with an arm, then extends his arms apart and rips the title in half!! The crowd boos while SS throws the ripped title on the ground and stomps on it some more, adding insult to injury. SS takes the title and throws one half into the crowd, and the other half he throws on top of a fallen Slimdust before exiting the ring to massive boos.

Felix: Alright, that wasn’t necessary. Slimdust was doing a nice gesture by putting his Sexyweight title on the line. If SS didn’t want the title, he didn’t have to take it! But instead he destroys the title and insults Slimdust in the process.
Jayman: I can safely say SS has no friends around here. If he continues to act this way, everyone will be his enemy.
Felix: At any rate…We are going to have our first title defense of the night next! The tag team titles are now up for grabs, and this match is a long time coming. The top 4 tag teams in the federation will square off in a match to decide the undisputed Tag Team champions!
Jayman: You got that right, Commish. For months now, the teams of “Anarchy in the UK”, “CM Drunk and Half-Boy”, and “African Hooligans” have all laid claim to be the number one contenders for the straps. Well, you have named them ALL the contenders and as a result, we have a 4-way dance.

*We go backstage where A-Bomb and PeaceSells are wearing “Cliquemania” t-shirts and are walking through the backstage area with a purpose.

A-Bomb: Let’s go PS. We have to inform all 4 of the tag teams that their match is next. They should all be in their separate lockerroms. Let’s go get them all.
PeaceSells: Yeah..look, here are the African Hooligan’s locker room. Let’s head in.

*They open the door to see Rambo and Necro watching youtube videos of a guy jumping off a roof on a motorcycle, and into a flaming pit of snakes and hot lava while a small monkey with rabies chases it around. The guy on the video wipes out in his roof jump, and Necro and Rambo start hooting and hollering.

Rambo: Hell yeah that was sweet! Let’s post that!
Necro: Dude, those videos are the shit. That guy was a moron though.
PeaceSells: Uh..guys? Your match is up next.
Rambo: Who the hell are you two?
A-Bomb: I’m A-Bomb..this is PeaceSells. We’re coming to let people know their match is next.
Necro: Yeah, alright we’re on our way. Now scram, we’ve gotta watch this video of the girl who fights a sumo wrestler and gets squished first.

*A-Bomb and PeaceSells leave the room and roll their eyes. They come up to “Anarchy in the UK”’s locker room next. Without knocking, A-Bomb just opens the door and walks right in. They come in to see Crocker and Phantom, completely nude, ironing their English and Welsh covered tights.

Crocker: What the hell is this?
PeaceSells: Umm..we’re here to let you know that uh…..hah…that you’re match…
Phantom: Out with it then!
A-Bomb: Your match is next. It’s going on right now.
Crocker: Wonderful then. Now get the bloody hell out of here!

*A-Bomb and PS quickly leave, amazed at what they saw dangling between Crocker’s legs. They speak nothing of it, and instead head to the next locker room, CM Drunk and Half-Boy. They knock, and upon hearing an answer back, they open the door, careful not to make the same mistake twice. The door opens to reveal Half-Boy sitting in a chair, getting his shoulders rubbed by Emma. CM Drunk is on his knees polishing the wrestling boots of Half-Boy, and has a spare towel thrown over his shoulder.

CM Drunk: Okay HB, I thought of our new tag team name: Half-Drunk. What do you think?
Half-Boy: I think it’s awful.
Emma: Matt! Be nice!
CM Drunk: It’s no big deal..I’m just trying. Anyway, is it my turn to get my shoulders rubbed and shoes polished now?
PeaceSells: Uh…guys your match is up now.
Half-Boy (smiling): You heard the man. We gotta go. Maybe next time, kid.

*CM Drunk whines a little while A-Bomb and PeaceSells leave, heading for the final door: the tag champs I-squared. They head inside to see the two debating behind podiums.

Inogenius: The law of demand states that, in general, price and quantity demanded in a given market are inversely related.
Invictus: In other words, the higher the price of a product, the less of it people would be able and willing to buy of it (other things unchanged)?
Inogenius: Precisely.
A-Bomb: Guys?
Invictus: Gentlemen?
A-Bomb: Your match is up next.

*A-Bomb and PeaceSells head out of the room before they can get a response with more syllables than they can understand. The two guys shakes hands with a job well done, then mutter something about being “the next Tag Champs someday”.

*The Sex Pistols “Anarchy in the UK” starts playing and Crocker and Phantom head through with their flag-embroidered tights and the flags of their native country wrapped around their necks like a cape. The walk gingerly down the aisle amidst boos, but don’t seem to pay much attention. “Bad Boys” plays next and Rambo and Necro head out, sober as 7-year old, through the crowd to cheers. They remove their NY Knicks hats (even though their Boston natives) and throw them into the crowd. Lucky fans fight over the hats and the victors put them on, tilted to the side a bit just like their heroes, Rambo and Necro. “The Thong Song” by Sisquo is cued up and Half-Boy heads out with Emma and CM Drunk in tow behind them. He is struggling to catch up, and HB stops in the entryway to raise his arms up proudly, but it generates a mixed reaction. Emma does the same pose and the cheers get extremely loud, and HB smiles, thinking they are all for him. The 6 men are now in the ring and staring at the entryway when “Beethoven’s Fifth” booms over the loudspeakers. The tag team champions I-Squared head out proudly with their titles around their waists, and stop a few times in the aisle to bow politely to the crowd. The crowd hates this, and begins throwing inappropriate gestures towards the champs.

Jayman: That is a VERY inappropriate gesture from that kid over there. I bet he learned it from Rambo and Necro.
Felix: It’s quite possible. And just to remind everyone, this is a four-corners elimination match. This means only two men in the ring at once, and you can tag anyone in you want. If someone is eliminated, that team must head to the back. The last team remaining will win our Tag Titles.
Jayman: And what about the NAO rule?
Felix: That rule is in effect, meaning you can’t pin your partner to win the match. Partners can’t be in the ring together against eachother.

*The bell goes off and CM Drunk and Rambo start off the match. A quick tie-up and Rambo is forced to the mat. Drunk with a few shots in early, but Rambo rolls out of it. They tie up again and this time, Rambo is thrown into the corner, or more specifically, I-Squared’s corner. Invictus slaps the back of Rambo, making him the legal man. Invictus hops over the top rope and hits a clothesline on CM Drunk. CM is back up, but gets wrapped in a bear hug by Invictus. One-half of the tag champs is squeezing the life out of CM, and HB responds in the corner by slapping his hand against the turnbuckle, trying to get his partner back to consciousness. CM is eventually snapped back to reality, and he headbutts Invictus once…twice…three times and the hold is broken. Invictus falls to one knee, dazed, while CM crawls and tags the nearest person…Phantom. The Welshman runs in and spears Invictus down to the mat hard, and goes for a pin…but only 2. He brings up Invictus, who is still dazed from the headbutts, and tosses him into the ropes. Invictus comes back and dodges a hiptoss, hits the opposite rope, and hits a flying crossbody to Phantom. Everyone in the ring jumps up in shock, and the two in the ring get up slowly at the same time. By the time they are at their feet, Phantom and Invictus trade blows left and right a few times before Invictus is knocked back into the corner of HB and CM. It’s Half-Boy’s turn as he slaps Invictus on the back and makes himself the legal man. HB with a flurry of punches to Phantom and hits a European uppercut. HB nods at CM, who nods back to his partner, as if calling something. CM immediately hops on the top rope and flies off with a flying elbow towards Phantom. But HB must have miscommunicated something, because he isn’t paying attention to his partner who flew off the top rope. As a result, HB walks right into Drunk’s elbow, and Matt gets clocked right on the top of the head. He falls over in a heap, and CM stands up, freaking out at what he did. But Necro hops over the rope and clotheslines Drunk over the top rope just as Phantom throws an arm over Half-Boy. 1…2….3……and CM Drunk/Half-Boy are eliminated. Necro stays in the ring as the new legal man, and hits some quick kicks on an already exhausted Phantom. He picks up Phantom and drops him down with a backbreaker while the team of Half-Boy and CM Drunk are leaving up the ramp, yelling at eachother. Emma is trying to play the mediator, but it isn’t working.

Jayman: And our first team is eliminated. We are now down to just 3 teams. Poor communication there by CM and HB.
Felix: Well, CM Drunk’s inexperience proved the downfall here, and somehow Half-Boy must have been signaling something else other than an elbow drop off the top rope, because he didn’t see it coming.

*Back in the ring, Phantom kicks out of a pin just in time and Crocker is screaming for a tag. Phantom crawls towards the nearest corner, which he doesn’t realize is I-squared’s corner, and makes the tag before rolling out of the ring, exhausted. Inogenius is now the legal man, but Necro tags in Rambo. The man otherwise known as “Randy Orton” throws the tag champ into the ropes and hits a brutal spinebuster. Rambo goes for the cover, but only 2! Rambo gets up with Ino, but Terry locks in the Scholarly Strangle, his version of the sleeperhold. Necro jumps the rope but the referee sees this and blocks his way to break up the hold. While the referee’s busy with Necro, Invictus hops the rope and gets in a few cheap shots to Rambo before going back to his corner. Rambo is down to one knee and isn’t moving much. The referee grabs Rambo’s arm and raises it. It falls for 1. He raises it again. Another fall. 2. He raises Rambo’s arm a third time and it falls…no! Wait! He gets it up just in time, and Inogenius thinks intelligently: he doesn’t allow Rambo much time to recover and drops him down in an inverted DDT type move. Inogenius goes to tag Crocker, but teases it and actually swipes his hand away in time! Ino turns to see that Rambo is crawling towards Necro’s corner…he grabs Rambo’s boot, but it’s too late! Rambo makes the tag to Nec, and Ino steps backwards a few times. It’s not enough, and Necro is in like a flash, hitting Ino with a hard clothesline. Ino is up quickly but gets brought down a second time. He gets up once again and Necro flips him up in his arms, and quickly drops him down for the “Keg Stand”, his version of the pile driver. Necro falls on him and the referee covers 1….2……3!!!!!

Jayman: Woah! And just like that, our tag team champions are eliminated from contention. Rambo and Necro have finally got a measure of revenge on their arch-rivals by eliminating them from this match.
Felix: But hang on….they have to get by “Anarchy in the UK” first. Can the Hooligans pull it off and finally bring the tag straps to them?

Invictus and Inogenius and yelling at eachother at ringside, and a swarm of officials (Miakal, Chewy, IdaMAN, and others) come down to break them up and haul them backstage to continue this match. Necro is alone in the ring, waiting to see his opponent. Crocker and Phantom look at eachother, and nod in unison before Crocker steps through the ropes for the first time tonight. They circle around eachother for a moment before tying up. Crocker with a knee to the stomach of Necro and an eye-gouge, which gets the referee to break up the tie-up and scold Crocker. Crock raises his arms defensively as if to say “Hey, not my fault”, and moves forward, grabbing Necro by the hair. He throws him into the corner, but Necro reverses it and Crocker is sent into the turnbuckles. Necro runs at him and climbs onto the second rope, proceeding to hit the 10-punch on Crocker. He gets to 8 before Crocker grabs the sides of Necro’s shirt and throws him down in a sort of powerbomb-like maneuver. Crocker goes for a pin, but only 2! Crocker stomps into the face of Necro and climbs the top rope, looking for his English Elbow Drop finisher. He leaps, but Necro rolls out of the way and tags in Rambo! Crocker is rolling around the ring hurt while Rambo takes some time to hit a forearm to the face of an unsuspecting Phantom, much to the delight of the crowd. He falls back and off the apron and onto the floor below. Rambo turns to Crocker, but doesn’t realize he already got up – Crocker hits a European uppercut to the jaw of Rambo, knocking him out and onto the mat. Phantom begins crawling around the mat to Necro’s side, unknown to Nec. Crocker takes to the top rope again and leaps off, this time landing his English Elbow! Crocker covers him, but Phantom is now over behind Necro and holds his feet so he can’t get in the ring. The ref counts 1……2………..3!!!

Felix: And there you have it, our new undisputed Tag Team Champions. Crocker and Phantom pulled it off, they outlasted 3 other teams in this elimination contest.
Jayman: And yet again the African Hooligans let the tag straps slip through their fingers.
Felix: While Crocker and Phantom celebrate in the ring, let’s move onto our next match. And it involves you my friend. So while this video clip rolls, get your ass in the ring and do some stretches.

*A video clip shows past advertisements to join Dakstang’s country known simply as Dakland. Some posters may remember this from a while back – Dakstang promised anyone who joined his cause lavish gifts and protection. Top-of-the-line artillery and defense systems, and a spot as Dak’s Cabinet Member were just a few of his many offerings. After a few weeks, Jayman got sick and tired of these advertisements, promising a better life in his Kingdom. A royal castle, the defense of wizards, archers, and knights, along with the promise of a great feast every night. Another clip shows “President” Dakstang and “King” Jayman in the ring together from last week, which lead them to agree to a match tonight. Now in the ring, the royal music has died down and Jayman is there in his ring gear, and looks a little awkward. Lynyrd Skynyrd’s new version entitled “Sweet Home West Virginia” cuts off Jay’s music and Dakstang comes out in jeans and a flannel shirt, complete with a trucker hat. The fans boo him, and Dak is wearing a shirt underneath is flannel that says “I <3 New York”, only with the heart crossed out with black electrical tape. Classy. The crowd in Madison Square Garden don’t take too kindly to his type, and boo the hick as he steps in the ring. Dak sets down his muzzleloader and lunges at Jayman. Jay dodges the move, and waits in the center of the ring in a crouched position. Dak laughs at Jay’s inexperience and hits a superkick on him quickly, sending Jayman to the mat. Dak goes for a quick cover, but Jay kicks out at 2. Dak with a belly-to-belly suplex, and follows it up with a shining wizard. It’s all Dakstang early as Jayman is breaking a sweat already. Dak with another pin, and another 2-count. Jay is up first this time, and in a flurry of offense, jumps on Dak and starts swinging blindly with punches. A few hit Dak square in the jaw, but the bigger Dak throws Jayman off him. Dak runs at Jayman, who is starting to get up, and hits him with a running knee to the face. Dak stands up Jay, who wobbles a little, and kicks him in the gut, turns around and hits the Redneck Stunner! The crowd boos as Dakstang makes the cover, and gets the easy three.

Felix: Well this was a pretty one-sided contest here. The Kingdom has fallen to Dakland today, that’s for sure. As they pry Jayman’s carcass off the mat, let’s keep moving forward towards our next match. This one has been brewing since the inception of the federation, and this time the stakes are at their highest. Mikk and Blade will do battle, with the winner being crowned the inaugural “Not-World” Champion. Here’s a look at these two competitors past history.

*A video clip is highlighted next. Starts with Mikk making nice gestures to Gigglypuff that include roses, but this gets under Blade’s skin. He calls Mikk a coward and the challenge is made for Survivor Monks – Whoever wins the match is granted a date with Gigglypuff. Mikk ends up on the losing end of the match, and as a result Blade and Giggly go on a “date” that ends up in the bedroom. But the next shot is of Mikk, dressed in a pizza deliveryman’s outfit, ambushing Blade and beating him down at the end of the date. Promo in the ring of Blade telling Mikk he can’t touch him as a result of the contract on their “Win a Date with Giggly” match. The only way would be to fight Gigglypuff, and win. Weeks go by with Giggly egging on Mikk to fight her, but he refuses to fight her. Eventually, she gets under his skin enough to make Mikk snap. He agrees and Clique Rumble is agreed upon for the Mikk/Giggly match. Mikk comes up on the winning end, and makes his challenge for Blade to be at the granddaddy-of-them-all: Cliquemania. For the first time since Survivor Monks, these two will face one-on-one, and this time: it’s for the NW Title.

Felix: So as you can see, there’s a lot of bad blood in this matchup. Blade has won the dark heart of Gigglypuff, and with her and the CWO behind him, Mikk is fighting an uphill battle. But win or lose, Mikk has been granted exactly what he has wanted for months: to get his hands around Blade once more. Oh..and welcome back.
Jayman: (huffing and puffing) Yeah…whatever.
Felix: While my colleague regains his composure, let’s go to ringside.

*The CWO theme starts up for the second time tonight and Blade (Blitzkrieg) walks down with Gigglypuff by his side. She is hanging on him and kissing his neck while they head down the ramp. The crowd boos him, but he just pops his collar and smiles thinly. Once in the ring, “North Country Boy” starts up and the fans roar as Mikk emerges from the stage. He starts charging down the ramp, pointing directly at Blitz in the ring and shaking his head with wide eyes. Mikk is obviously pumped for this matchup.

Felix: Mikk has waited about 4 months to get his hands back on Blade! And now he finally has his chance. But can he capitalize here tonight with a win?
Jayman: And let’s not forget…the winner of this match will be crowned the first-ever “Not World” Champion! Blade could bring even more gold to the already illustrious CWO.

Mikk doesn’t even wait for the bell to ring before charging towards Blade, and barrels him over. Mikk picks up Blade and tosses him down in a powerslam, and the crowd is revved up. Gigglypuff is on the apron screaming at her man to get up, but the referee begins yelling at her. With the referee distracted, Blade winds up and lands a low blow to the Mikkster. Mikk howls in pain and falls over, and Blade takes over on offense. Mikk is irish whipped into the ropes, and bounces back to get laid out with a high knee. Blade gets Mikk up and hits a Northern Lights Suplex to continue the punishment, and Gigglypuff is all smiles. Mikk reverses Blade’s hold and lands a Russian Leg Sweep out of desperation. He is catching his breath as the crowd becomes alive and Blade is slow to get up, apparently hurting his leg. Mikk sees this weakness and hits a DDT. Blade is down, and Mikk locks in an ankle lock on his opponent! The crowd goes wild, and the referee immediately checks to see if Blade taps. Giggly jumps on the apron and climbs through the ropes, but the referee sees this and intercepts her – and tosses her out!!! The crowd goes wild as he continues to point towards the stage, and Giggly is arguing the call. Meanwhile, Blade is tapping out, but the referee doesn’t see it!! Mikk lets go of the hold and confronts the referee, who now got Gigglypuff out of the match and she is in the back. Blade reaches up and pulls Mikk back in a schoolboy, and gets the 1….2……no! Kickout by Mikk. Blade tosses Mikk into the ropes, and Mikk bounces back, regaining his composure and flying through the air to connect with a shoulder block. Blade ducks the shot, and Mikk strikes the unsuspecting ref!! The referee collapses in the corner and rolls around, knocking him out. Both Mikk and Blade look at the hurt referee, then turn to eachother simultaneously and trade punches. Blade hits a second low blow on Mikk, knocking him to his knees. Blade drags Mikk over to the ropes and ties him up in them, rendering him stuck. Blade waves towards the entryway, and Gigglypuff reemerges with a steel chair!! The crowd boos as she slides in the ring with it, and keeps her eyes on Mikk, smiling devilishly. Blade is directing traffic, screaming at Giggly to crush Mikk with the chair. Giggly slams the chair on the mat for dramatic effect and winds up…….but turns and clocks Blade right in the skull!!! The crowd goes wild as the “Ladies Man” of the CWO falls backwards, immediately busted open. Gigglypuff smiles at Mikk and helps him out of the ropes before sliding out of the ring with the chair, just as the ref reawakens. Mikk pulls Blade up by his gel-and-mousse-filled hair and drops him down headfirst with a Pedigree. Mikk covers and the crowd counts along loudly: 1……2…….3!!!! Gigglypuff slides back in the ring and hugs Mikk, raising his arm in victory. She looks down at a fallen Blade and laughs while the crowd is on their feet cheering.

Jayman: Well wouldn’t you know it, the North Country Boy got it done. And he gained an ally in this match in Gigglypuff, who appears to have ended her relationship with Blade and the CWO.
Felix: Didn’t see that one coming, that’s for sure, and I’m sure we’ll get an explanation in due time. Blade got screwed over in this match, but I for one don’t mind!!
Jayman: With that, Mikk is awarded the “Not-World” title by the referee and he is holding it up proudly. Between that and gaining Shelley’s friendship, this has to be the greatest day in the Mikksters life!
Felix: A true “hurrah” moment as they say. But hang on to your hats, because God and Erin are coming up next in the battle for gender supremacy!

*A video package is shown now, beginning with God bragging about the winning streak of 2 he went on. Leading up to the Clique Rumble, God beats down on Jackies and Emma and gains victories on them both, setting up for the 3-on-1 match with Jackies, Emma, and Lady HotRod at the last PPV. God is shown winning the match, and goes on RAW IMPACT the next night cutting a promo how he’s beaten them all. Erin emerges and sends a message to God: you haven’t finished the job yet. For a few weeks, Erin has her eyes set on God, vowing to put his woman-killing to an end. The feud culminates tonight with a one-on-one match to determine the supreme gender: God and Erin in singles competition…NEXT!!!

Felix: God has been on a recent hot streak as of late, let’s not deny it. But he has his first real challenge in weeks against an amazing competitor like Erin. She has come inches from capturing the World Title, and is not the type of woman I’d want to mess with.
Jayman: But mess AROUND with……?
Felix: Shut it. At any rate, Erin is coming off a huge win from the Rumble against Suntan Superman, and she is also on a roll here in the CWF lately. But only one of these two competitors can come out with a win tonight, so let’s get going.

*”I Am, I Am” starts up, and the familiar tune many equate with AJ Styles is tonight being played for God (not the supreme being). He comes out sporting a new t-shirt (now available on cwf.com). On the front is a halo above a man in a white robe, and the back of the shirt says, “Man..Woman..Child..it makes no difference. They All Bow To God.” He takes it off midway down the ramp and gives it to an (un)lucky child before stepping in the ring. “Champagne Supernova” by Oasis cuts off God’s music and Erin steps out to possibly the loudest ovation of the night so far. Many women are cheering, obviously getting behind their female companion. She takes a few steps, then Emma and Jackies come behind her, all with looks of “Fuck You” on their faces. God’s eyes widen a bit, and he’s a little afraid. Erin steps in the ring and removes the pink robe she was wearing and hands it to Emma at ringside. The bell goes off and we’re beginning. God points to his chin and sticks his face out, begging Erin to have the first shot. Erin looks to the crowd for approval, and they cheer. Instead of a punch, she throws him off by landing a kick to the midsection. God falls down and clutches his stomach in pain. Erin with a couple of kicks to the downed God, and she bounces off the ropes before hitting a baseball slide to God. God rolls out of the ring to regain his composure, but Jackies and Emma grab him by either shoulder and throw him back into the ring. He yells at the girls, then turns around to be met with a punch to the jaw, which only phases him slightly. He ducks Erin’s second punch and scoops her up over his shoulder, throwing her down hard with a modified spinebuster. God raises his arms up as if he won the match, and the crowd boos. God picks up Erin and hits her with a double-underhook suplex, and follows it up with a chokehold. The ref breaks the hold after 5, and God goes to the corner and heads up top. He leaps from the top rope and goes for a frog splash, but Erin rolls out of the way in time. Erin takes over with a knee drop and a crescent kick. The crowd is behind the beautiful brunette as she gets a few more kicks in for every woman in the arena. But God soon takes over with some vicious looking chops to Erin. He picks her up in a bodypress and tosses her back down, mocking Emma and Jackies at ringside for a bit afterwards. God goes for the pin, but only gets 2. Erin irish whips God into the corner, and God hits the turnbuckles hard, waddles a few steps out and is clotheslined down by Erin. She leaps to the top rope and flies off, landing her finishing move: the frogsplash. The crowd counts along 1…..2……3no!! God kicked out at the last second, and the crowd boos. Erin has God now ready for a suplex, and lifts him up for it. God wiggles out of it in mid-air and lands on his feet right behind Erin. She turns around in time to get scooped up by God, and in one quick motion he throws her into the ropes, upside down and in the air. Erin bounces off and the momentum has her fall to the mat facefirst, knocking her out in a finishing move God called the “Throw-N-Away” (TNA). God rolls her over and the ref counts….1…..2……3! The crowd boos as God raises his own arms in victory, happy with the result. Emma and Jackies run into the ring and tend to Erin, trying to wake her up. God leaves the girls in the ring and tries to celebrate with the people in the front row, but can’t find anyone willing.

Jayman: That finishing move has knocked out every single person he’s tried it on. I’d like to see that coward try it on me.
Felix: All kidding aside, that move is easy to pull off against light-weighted girls. Try scooping up a man and throwing him into the ropes like that, God. But it’s a legal move, and God picks up the win with it.
Jayman: He has successfully plowed through everyone in the women’s division. Congratulations. Maybe we should give him the Woman’s Title.
Felix: A woman’s title? Hmm….interesting idea…..

*We cut backstage where Simon is peering down at Giganto and Blade, who are sitting on the couch in their luxury suite. Simon looks pissed off, and looks around the room before throwing a plate of cheese and crackers into the wall, shattering the crystal-ware. Giganto and Blade jump a little at the noise, but keep their heads down in shame. Simon moves back to them, and peers his head down at them while clenching his teeth.

Simon: TWO LOSSES. You both couldn’t win your matches tonight, and that’s a goddamned shame!!! Giganto, you couldn’t beat a guy that had his first official match in the federation tonight. You lost to a damn rookie. Blade, you couldn’t keep your bitch in line long enough to help you win your match and bring another title to the CWO. You’re both a disgrace. This was supposed to be the biggest night of our careers, it was a night to guarantee us a spot in the Hall of Fame….but instead….you both looked absolutely awful out there. So now it comes down to me. As usual, I have to save the night and snag a victory from the wanna-be-leader of this site…er federation…Joe Cool. Felix has banned you both from the ring tonight, which is a good thing because I don’t want your bad luck bringing me down. You two need to get the girls ready for the celebration tonight. Go to the hotel room and put the champagne on ice, because we all need a reason to celebrate tonight…and in a few minutes, I’m gonna give you one.

*He walks out and slams the door, leaving the two CWO cronies in the room alone. Back to ringside now.

Felix: He is right, the CWO is banned from ringside. And if the match ends in DQ-fashion, Simon loses his title. I’m glad I have a frontrow seat here to make sure nothing shady happens. In case anyone decides to interfere in this match, I’ll be right here to intercept them.
Jayman: Let’s take a look at how this match came to be.

*A video package rolls chronicling the three-way dance between Simon, Erin, and Joe Cool back in the fall last year. It shows Simon hitting Cool with the brass knuckles in that match, and Joe Cool gets pinned to be eliminated from the World Title match. Simon goes on to win the strap and goes on a winning streak that includes successful defenses against Slimdust, Felix, and Half-Boy. Meanwhile, another clip shows Joe Cool surviving 29 other men and women to win the Clique Rumble last month. He advances to the main event here tonight against Simon. The final clip is a still shot of the week after the Rumble, where Cool and Simon were face to face in the ring together. The words: “One Leader Must Rise” come across the screen below their faces before the clip ends.

Felix: Simon managed to lose his previous 2 matches via disqualification, and by the rules he keeps his World Title in that instance. So as a result, I don’t want the main event of the biggest PPV of the year ending in cheap fashion. To ensure that doesn’t happen, that’s why the stipulations are the way they are.
Jayman: Technically Felix, couldn’t Joe just use a weapon, thereby having the match end in DQ fashion and he is awarded the belt?
Felix: I spoke with Joe about that earlier. He is an honest man, not like Simon. Joe said he refuses to use underhanded tactics to win the match.

*”Heartache Tonight” is on the speakers first, and Joe Cool emerges from behind the curtain to the loudest ovation of the night. He gives a slight nod to the crowd to indicate he appreciates their support, but gingerly walks down the aisle, letting out a deep breath or two before stepping in the ring. The music goes off and for a few moments there’s silence until the CWO Theme starts up. Simon emerges next with the World Title around his waist. He polishes the belt a bit before heading down to the ring, with a dead-serious look on his face. Simon carefully unstraps the title and hands it to the referee, who holds it high in the air. The bell rings and we are off! Joe Cool takes over early with some hard right hands, and he throws Simon into the ropes. Simon bounces back and Cool hits a side slam. He covers but only gets 1. Simon up and he trips Joe up by the legs and flips him over, putting him in a boston crab. The crowd boos as Cool screams out in pain. The referee checks for submission, but Joe shakes his head “no”. Joe uses his arms to slide over to the ropes, and eventaully grabs them! Simon removes the hold after a 4-count from the ref. Cool is up but Simon continues to work the legs by hitting a dropkick to Cool’s shins. Cool falls to one knee and Simon hits a hard lariat that sends Cool down on his back. Simon covers 1…..2…kickout! Cool is up and gets a tornado DDT on Simon. He clutches his legs in pain a bit, but when Simon gets up, Joe hurls him over his shoulder and runs halfway across the ring, and slams down Simon with his running powerslam finisher! The crowd is on their feet and screaming for their hero, who takes a few moments before laying an arm over Simon 1…..2…..no! Simon kicks out! Simon kicks out! Joe is stunned, and they both get to their feet at the same time. Joe’s punch is blocked and Simon kicks Joe in the stomach, keeling him over. Simon wraps his massive hand around neck of Joe and quickly picks him up before Cool has time to reverse it. Joe travels a few feet in the air before crashing down with Simon’s chokeslam finisher. Simon smile s and covers Joe 1….2…….kickout! Joe has kicked out of Simon’s finisher! Simon is arguing with the referee, but turns around to get scooped up a second time by Joe: Joe delivers a second running powerslam finisher! Joe covers and hooks the leg, and the crowd counts along 1…..2…….3no!!! Joe’s jaw drops in disbelief as Simon has kicked out of the second running powerslam. They are both up slowly, exhausted, and Simon whips Cool into the corner. Cool is keeled over, breathing hard trying to catch his breath. Simon yanks him out of the corner and wraps his hand around his throat again but holds it there for a minute, catching his breath. Cool opens his eyes and sees this open window, and with the remaining strength hurls him over his shoulder again. Cool runs but Simon wiggles out the back and lands on his feet. Cool turns around to get Simon, but he superkicks Cool down!! Simon, out of gas, collapses on top of Cool 1…..2…….3NO! Cool kicked out just before the final count. Simon slaps his hand down in frustration and gets up slowly. Cool bounces off the ropes and connects with a swinging neckbreaker on Simon. Cool is on one knee catching his breath before pulling up Simon by his hair. The crowd is alive, chanting “Cool…Cool….Cool!!” It seems to work as Cool hurls Simon over his shoulder again, runs only a few steps and throws him down hard with a third running powerslam. Cool hooks the leg 1…..2……3!!!!! The bell rings and the crowd gets on their feet cheering louder than they have all night. “Heartache Tonight” by the Eagles booms over the speakers, but can’t really be heard over the crowds cheer. Confetti begins to fall as Cool is handed the World Title by the referee.

Felix: He has done it! Mr. Joe Cool, who always seemed to be in “second-command” around here, has dethroned Simon and win the title after three…count em THREE running powerslams.
Jayman: Simon gave it his all, and a real back and forth matchup tonight! What a great way to end this blockbuster event. The CWO empire has fallen, at least for one night, and this night belongs to one man: Joe Cool.

*Back in the ring, Joe falls to his knees, clutching the title with both hands. He looks around the arena and smiles at the crowd as confetti falls down all around him. Cool gets up and proudly holds the title up high and screams out to the crowd “This is for you!” and “Yo Lady Garnet…..I did it!!!!” From the entryway comes Mikk and Gigglypuff, clapping along with the crowd and headed to the ring. Joe Cool smiles back, and raises the belt in the air. Behind Mikk comes Half-Boy and Emma to join the celebration as well. All 4 get in the ring and shake his hand and hug him, congratulating him. Next out, God comes clapping his hands with a no-smile look on his face. Joe shrugs but waves him to the ring. Next out come Phantom and Crocker, both with their tag straps around their waists, apparently congratulating another new champion. They slap their own belts and point to Joe, nodding their heads in a bow of respect. Joe does the same, and Invictus comes walking out lastly, clapping along with the crowd. They are all now in the ring and take turns finishing up their hugs with Joe. Phantom and Half-Boy raise each of the two arms of Joe Cool up in celebration……but Crocker comes from behind and plants a bulldog on Joe, slamming him face-first to the mat. God, Phantom, Half-Boy, Mikk, and Invictus join in by beating down Joe while he’s already on the mat, and he screams out in pain. The crowd stops cheering, and they are shown in shock as these men beat the new champion down, with Gigglypuff and Emma egging them to do more damage. Jayman takes off his headset and approaches the ring, but someone in a hood jumps over the barricade and from behind plants Jayman’s face right into the apron. Jay collapses ringside as the man removes his hood and it’s…..Tyler Durden! He gets in the ring in time to join the rest, who have now stood behind a fallen Joe Cool, all their arms raised in unison. The camera pans from side to side to show Invictus, Half-Boy, The Phantom, Emma, God, Tyler Durden, Crocker, Gigglypuff, and Mikk holding their arms up together and laughing as “Heartache Tonight” stops playing and “God Save The Queen” begins playing.


The feed fades out.

Crocker

The UK rules, and also im the new Clique Wrestling Federation Tag Team Champion Of The World.

Also a litle reccomendation Jay, its a while before Summerclique or Cliqueslam or whatever its called so maybe do a King Of The Clique PPV?

Jayman

Super Moderator

Yes there will definitely be a PPV between now and August.

Balla

Video Games Moderator

lol nice read, love how everyone turned, gettin good, and FUTURE TAG CHAMP RIGHT HERE, oh yea

Mikk

WC's Sexy Beast

Wooooo i beat Blitz/Blade whatever you want to call him and i've got a lovely lady on my arm and gold around my waist


Excellent work Jay, you should write for WWE

Jackie Pies

It may have been the curtain opener, but I won at Cliquemania -wooo, I am the Clique master.

God