The Clique is RAW.......Episode 12

Jayman

Super Moderator

*The Brady Bunch rolls its end credits, making way for the latest LIVE edition of RAW IMPACT! The superstars of the Clique Wrestling Federation are prepared to entertain you once again in what is the “Go Home” show before it’s Pay-Per-View extravaganza: Cliquemania. The main event is etched in stone with the two “leaders” facing off for the World Title in just about a week: Simon vs. Joe Cool. Each man tonight will choose eachother’s opponent in singles action in what we call “Pick Your Poison” match. However, we start off tonight backstage, in a room that is dimly lit and with soft, gentle music playing. On a bench lays Suntan Superman, and once again he is only covered in a towel. However, this time he seems to be at peace, and speaks quietly while getting massaged.

Suntan Superman: This feels very relaxing. Your hands are gentle yet firm. Just a little higher…ah, yeah thanks. I’ve been under so much stress lately, you know? On top of the shower curtains giving me trouble, I have a stalker of some sorts leaving me packages and gifts with strange notes. And with Cliquemania only a week away, I need to find an opponent, because Felix is randomly choosing a match on the card to be for the Not-World Title. But….ah..this feels great.
Masseuse: You are so tense. But I’m enjoying working out those knots!
Suntan Superman: That voice….so…….familiar…

*SS looks back and the camera pans out to see that Slimdust is the one massaging the Samoan. For some odd reason, Slimdust has completely gotten into the part of masseuse and is dressed in a kimono and has his hands covered in various oils. He smiles down at the giant, who quickly wraps the towel around him and shoots out of the bed, standing up.

SS: What the hell is going on here?!?!?!
Slimdust: I just wanted to remove your tensions there. I hope you enjoyed my gift last week. I’d love to “roll around” the ring with you anyday.
SS: AHH!!!!

*Suntan creeps backwards slowly, keeping his eyes on Slimdust as to make sure he doesn’t make a move. The towel unwraps and falls to the floor, leaving SS completely in the nude. Slimdust looks down and smiles, and SS runs out of the room. The final shot shows Slimdust’s eyebrows raised up.

*Pyro, fans screaming, rock music…you know, the typical introduction. The camera pans around the arena to catch some of the signs at the AllState Arena near Chicago, Illinois. The highlights of signs include: “Zar can save ME anyday”, “Where is A-Bomb???”, “Joe Cool – Our Next World Champion”, “Simon loves Blade and Giganto”, and “Erin + Tina Fey = My Fantasy”. The camera swings around to the announcers table, where Jayman is sitting with a new partner this week….Commissioner Felix. Both men have their headsets on and are ready for a night of fake wrestling action.

Jayman: Good evening to everyone, and welcome to another edition of RAW IMPACT!! With me this time is our beloved Commish himself…..Felix!!
Felix: Where is your usual partner, King Jayman?
Jayman: I have no idea who you’re talking about. I have had no communication with him.
Felix: Anyways, we press forward! I will be your play-by-play man this evening, and the highlight of the night will include Joe Cool and Simon competing in separate singles matches against opponents yet to be named. That’s because tonight is “Pick Your Poison”, and Joe Cool and Simon will choose the others opponent! Yes, that’s right, for tonight I’m letting them be commissioner. But my say is always final.
Jayman: Well said boss. And later on, we need to talk about my raise.
Felix: The only raise you’ll be getting tonight is if Slimdust walks out here.

*”I Am, I Am” starts up, and out walks God (not the supreme being) to little fanfare. God has his wrestling gear on, so luckily we are spared from his usual banter in the ring. The “Master-Debator” slides under the bottom rope and jumps up and down, loosening the muscles for his matchup. God will face the gauntlet tonight, going up against his three opponents from Clique Rumble, one at a time, until God wins them all or he is pinned. Bagpipes begin to play and Lady Hotrod heads out to some cheers. She points to the sky and runs down the ramp at full speed before jumping in the ring. This match is underway and God starts it off with a clothesline. LHR gets up and is met with a standing dropkick by God, followed by a elbow drop. LHR tries to get her bearings, and lands a legsweep onto God. The Master-Debator hits the mat hard, but kips up in time to trade blows with HotRod. She is thrown into the corner and God hits a running knee to the stomach of Lady. He picks her up overhead and throws her into the ropes with his TNA finisher. LHR bounces off the ropes in mid-air and crashes down to the mat face-first. She looks immediately knocked unconscious, and God covers her for the quick pin.

Felix: My god that move is vicious! I’ve never seen anything like it before in Professional “Fake, E-“ Wrestling.
Jayman: Well it seemed to do the job, and as the referees scrape her off the mat, God is preparing for the next person in the gauntlet: Jackie Pies! JP is pulling double duty tonight (I hear she doesn’t mind that) because later on she will be facing Gigglypuff in a grudge match.
Felix: And here comes Jackie Pies now, she looks pretty pissed off at the man who has made it his business to crush the Women’s division lately.

*Jackie Pies steps through the ropes and catches God off-guard by tackling him to the ground. She begins throwing haymakers, swinging as fast as she can, sometimes connecting with God’s face, but other times missing completely. God rolls her off of him, and gives a vicious kick to the stomach towards Jackie Pies. Jackie keels over and hits the ground, the blow knocking the wind out of her. God continues his assault with a few blows to the stomach courtesy of his foot. This brutality brings massive boos from the crowd, but God ignores it. Instead, he hoists Jackie up over his shoulder and hurls her into the ropes. Just like with LHR, the blonde bombshell bounces off the ropes and hits the canvas face-first. God just stands down and looks at his fallen opponent. The referee, meanwhile, rushes over and declares her unconscious, giving God the KO win.

Jayman: Alright, this is just getting to be unwatchable. God has plowed through his first two opponents, and now he has one more to go before completing the ‘trifecta’.
Felix: I am not a big fan of God’s current “beef” with the women of the CWF, but nonetheless, eventually someone will shut him up. Hopefully for good.
Jayman: I sure hope it’s God’s final opponent in this match: Emma. Here she comes down the ramp, and she looks determined.

*Watching a fallen Jackie Pies being carried to the back, Emma turns her attention to God and begins screaming at him angrily. Laughing, God turns his back to Emma, granting her the first “free” shot. Emma looks around the crowd to get their reaction, and they all begin screaming and cheering, getting behind the fiery redhead. Emma drops to one knee right behind God, who still has no clue what she is doing behind his back. Emma once again looks around the arena, and seeing the fans approval, she smiles before raising up her arm right between the legs of God in one quick motion. God immediately clutches his boys and falls over in pain. The referee calls for the bell, and disqualifies Emma for her illegal move.

Felix: While I don’t agree with the illegal move by Emma, I’m glad someone finally had enough of his “reign” and put him in his place. Props to Emma.
Jayman: Didn’t Emma just seem comfortable on her knees like that?
Felix: This is a family show! Well, God has gotten to his feet now. He’s struggling to get his bearings…..

*”Champagne Supernova” by Oasis plays on the speakers, bringing the crowd’s cheering to a louder decibel level. God gets a sad look on his face and backs into a corner, keeping his eyes on the entryway. Eventually, the beautiful brunette emerges in street clothes and with a microphone in her hand. She just shakes her head at God for a few moments, but manages a slight smirk on her face, happy with the eventual outcome of God’s Gauntlet Match. Erin raises the microphone up and begins to speak from the ramp.

Erin: For once, I’m the one talking, and YOU’LL be the one listening. For weeks now we’ve all watched you go on this little power trip of yours in the CWF. You think you can just add an easy “W” to your list by beating up on the ladies with little to no wrestling training? Well, there is one girl in this federation you haven’t put in her place yet. I spoke with Felix earlier today, and it looks like I’ll be seeing you in about in a week at Cliquemania!!!! (cheers) I will put an end to your little power trip and show you that this woman has a lot of FIGHT in her. And on a side note, remember to vote in the SNL poll everyone!

Jayman: What a blockbuster match signed for Cliquemania! God and Erin duking it out for the battle for “Sexual Supremecy”. But wait..she talked with you about this earlier today?
Felix: That’s right Jayman. Erin came to me before the show and demanded a match with God. I couldn’t tell her no!
Jayman: (whispering) You knew about this match earlier….we need better communication here boss if we are going to be an announcing team.
Felix: (whispering back) Or I can just stop signing your paychecks.
Jayman: …..carry on!
Felix: I think I will. I have some announcements, so let me head up to the ring. Hope you can handle the booth alone for a bit.

*Black Sabbath’s “Iron Man” starts up and the crowd cheers as Felix removes his headset and grabs a nearby microphone before heading up the stairs and entering the ring. He does the motion for “quiet down” with his hands before addressing the CWF fans.

Felix: Ever since we introduced the Tag Team Titles, they have been in a constant state of chaos. Whether it’s the current champions, I-squared, using underhanded tactics to win, or the African Hooligans getting drunk backstage in preparation for their matches, and who can forget about the crazy-themed matches we’ve had that took place in bars and laboratories. And now, ever since the Rumble I’ve been getting challengers like “Anarchy in the UK” and the team of CM Drunk and Half-Boy asking for their shot. As a result, I had an answer to that a few weeks back when I devised the “Tag Team Singles” competition. You saw in the past few weeks each of the 6 potential challengers fighting in singles matches to determine the best possible combination of challengers to face the team of Inogenius and Invictus at Cliquemania. Well, according to my records……Necro won, Rambo lost. Crocker won, Phantom lost. Half-Boy won, CM Drunk lost. The three winners looked equal in their wins. Some can say that HB had a great showing against our World Champion, although others have said he didn’t capitalize on a major opportunity. Should I award the spot to Necro and Crocker? No, that’s not fair to Half-Boy. So here’s what I’m going to do: I’m extending this competition into Overtime until I make my final decision. Next up is a 3-way Tag Team Tornado Match to determine the challengers. Whoever’s team wins the match, they will get a shot at the Tag Titles in one week. So I know the guys in the back are watching, so get your asses out here.

*Felix leaves the ring and sits down back next to Jayman while the crowd is shocked by this announcement. The camera cuts backstage where we see the words “Anarchy in the UK” written on a door: their locker room. Inogenius is walking by it when the door opens and Invictus steps out. Ino has a shocked look on his face.

Inogenius: Invictus, I have been searching these grounds for you all night. What, pray tell, where you doing in those chambers?
Invictus: Ah…simply talking strategies with the UK boys. I feel we have had our fill of the delinquents from the poor streets and are ready for a new challenge. Surely Half-Boy and that CM Drunk fellow have their own issues with one another to be able to concentrate on the most intelligent and crafty team in the CWF. Thus, by process of elimination, I would like to award the challengers to our titles as the UK boys and thus my reasoning for talking strategy with them.
Inogenius: But why did you not ask for my assistance? The mind ponders this.
Invictus: Never fear, my associate. Your facilitation was not required. Come, let us watch the bout from the front seats in the house.

*”Beethoven’s Fifth” starts up and Inogenius and Invictus emerge from the curtains with their tag titles strapped around their waist. The bow to the crowd and hand out copies of “Sherlock Holmes” to the kids in the front seat. One kid throws it on the ground, and shouts “Reading sucks!!” They grab a seat next to Jayman and Felix while “Anarchy in the UK” by the Sex Pistols plays. Heading out with their flags waving proudly are Crocker and Phantom. The Chicago crowd doesn’t take too kindly to this and proceeds to boo them mercilessly. However, the crowd’s demeanor quickly turns as “Bad Boys” is next on the list of tracks to play. Rambo and Necro come bouncing down the ramp, bobbing their heads to the music and shouting obscenities to those in the ring. Rambo throws his Chicago Bulls hat into the crowd, as well as the Michael Jordan jersey he was wearing, and they go crazy for the shirtless white man. Finally, “Margaritaville” plays by Jimmy Buffet and CM Drunk heads down the ramp, alone. He is looking back at the entryway for his partner, but has to wait for Half-Boy’s music first. “Thong Song” by Sisquo is next and Half-Boy heads out to cheers next. He gets in the ring and stays on the apron, awaiting a bell to sound. It does and everyone gets in the ring at once. Rambo and CM Drunk duke it out in the corner, while Necro throws Crocker over the top rope. Half-Boy throws Phantom into the ropes and suplexes him into the center of the ring. CM Drunk ties Rambo up in the ropes and gets in a few kicks to the stomach. Crocker irish whips Necro into the steel steps, and he clutches his back in pain. Rambo gets out of the ropes just in time to get clotheslined over the top rope by CM Drunk, but CM falls over the ropes with him as a result of his momentum. Half-Boy is climbing the top rope, but Phantom runs to the corner in time to knock him off his perch and he lands on the outside of the ring, hard. Phantom follows him out and now all 6 men are out of the ring. Shrugging, the referee begins to count. Necro and CM Drunk form an unlikely alliance and double-clothesline Crocker. Phantom and Half-Boy give a double suplex to Rambo, meanwhile. After that, Phantom and HB look at eachother and simultaneously throw a right hand to eachother. The referee has reached a 10-count, and shrugs before calling for the bell. The announcer informs the crowd that this match has ended as the result of a triple-countout.

Jayman: Well this is just insane! It appears we will never find a suitable challenger for the tag team titles.
Felix: I have a solution…..

*Felix stands up and grabs a nearby microphone. He asks that the fighting outside the ring stop, and eventually the 6 men in the match end their fighting and look at the commissioner, who is now standing atop the commentators desk to be seen.

Felix: I cannot determine who are the number one contenders to I-squared’s tag team titles. In the past few weeks you all have been equal with respect to one another. For this reason, I am making an executive decision as it pertains to Cliquemania. In one week at the biggest pay-per-view of the year, the team of Inogenius and Invictus will defend their titles against Half-Boy and CM Drunk. And Crocker and Phantom. And Rambo and Necro! It will be a four-corners tag team match with the Titles up for grabs!! (cheers) now all of you get out of here so we can continue with tonight’s festivities.

*”Sweet Home West Virginia” plays as the 8 people involved in the match head up the ramp. Inogenius and Invictus, meanwhile, are screaming at Felix from the ramp, obviously upset that they have 3 other teams to worry about at Cliquemania. Dakstang emerges and heads down the ramp walking past all the combatants. He ignores them all, and has his eyes focused on the ring. Dak grabs a microphone and immediately begins to speak in a calm, but firm matter. His attention is turned to Felix, who is at the announce table.

Dakstang: Last week Felix, I made everyone aware that I was declaring war on the CWF. Dakland has officially risen, and the troops are readying. My cabinet is coming together quite nicely, as Slimdust has already taken a position on my staff…I mean..on staff! On the staff! Not MY staff…you know what I mean. Soon, Dakland will be your number one enemy Felix. You may ask why. The reason is this: other than being the owner of the best performance in the Rumble a few weeks ago, it’s been 5 weeks since I wrestled in this ring. My rights in the country of the CWF have been taken away from me, and I am DEMANDING you put me in action in the biggest event of the year short of the election this fall. Which, may I add: Vote for Ron Paul. I refuse to sit backstage any longer while my running mates get more time in the debates..I mean in the ring. Further, I want a crack at the “Non-World Title” match you are randomly picking, so…..

*Royale music cuts off Dakstang, and he looks around, confused. Dak quickly looks back at the stage, but nobody comes out. The crowd begins cheering as they see the action happening behind Dakstang: King Jayman is getting up off his chair. He slowly walks over to the ring, and by now Dakstang has turned around and is seeing the color commentator walking up the steps and stepping through the ropes. He raises an eyebrow at Jayman, who has a microphone of his own in his hand.

Jayman: I think the crowd will agree with me here that they are SICK of the Ron Paul references, your one sided views on politics, but most of all…they are sick of these little “advertisements” of Dakland!!! (cheers). What makes you think you would make a good leader? You work at a dollar store when you aren’t wrestling, and your narrow-minded views from the few miles you inhabit in West Virginia prove you are a follower, not a leader. And the fact that the MMA Forum is complete crap…
Dakstang: And the General Discussion forum is any better? You have sat behind a desk like a coward for months now, so you have no credibility, Princess Jayman. Your little one-liners barely get a laugh from anyone around here, you Tyler Durden wannabe!
Jayman: Who is he? …..anyway. I heard you say something particularly interesting: you want a crack at the Not-World Title in one week huh? Well, since the match will be determined randomly by Felix, you are taking a gamble even wanting a match. But you need an opponent first, and I’m here to offer that.
Dakstang: HAHAHAHAHAHA………oh, that’s a good one. Wait..YOU? You aren’t even a wrestler. I saw your pathetic attempt at wrestling at the Rumble. What makes you think you can defeat me? I’m practically a legend around here. I may be a hillbilly, but you are a washed-up Queen. You really want to face me?
Jayman: Yeah. Dakland vs. The Kingdom at Cliquemania. I couldn’t think of a better matchup.
Dakstang: You know something, you’re on. But beware: just like my troops are more advanced than your elves and fairies in your Kingdom, my wrestling skills are much more advanced compared to yours. You won’t have Queen Erin, Prince Crocker, and Elf Leader Zar by your sides come Cliquemania. It will be just you and me, Jayman.
Jayman: I wouldn’t have it any other way, Dikstain.

*Sweet Home West Virginia plays once more and Dak throws his microphone to the ground before getting nose-to-nose with Jayman. He doesn’t blink and waits for Dak to turn away and leave. Jayman follows suit and heads back to his announce booth all fired up. Felix decides not to make a joke about it, and stays quiet while Jayman puts his headset back on. The bell rings for our next match and the Charlies Angels theme plays. The crowd cheers for the giant-lover and Jackie Pies comes out for her second match of the night. Accompanying her is Zar333, who is a fan favorite of the crowd.

Felix: Good to see Zar sticking with Jackie. She needs someone to look over her shoulder as Gigglypuff and Giganto have been bullying her lately. This all stemmed from a few weeks ago when Jackie was interviewing Blade, Giganto, and Giggly.

*Video plays of what happened 2 weeks ago. Giganto and Giggly teasing Jackie Pies during their interview, and it ends with a vicious slap to the face from Gigglypuff. Zar was nearby and consoles her as he watches ¾ of the CWO walk away. Now, back to ringside and Gigglypuff has entered the ring with Giganto by her side. He is keeping a clear eye on Zar, who is on the opposite side of the ring. This is a singles match between Gigglypuff and Jackies. The girls lock up and Giggly is thrown into the corner. Jackie Pies looks around and yes! She runs and hits a Bronco Buster onto Giggly, much to the delight of the crowd. She follows it up with a footstomp before pulling her up by her hair. Giggly screams but gets a hard shoulderblock in the midsection of Jackie. Giggly bounces off the ropes and hits a scissors kick to Jackies, but only gets a 2-count. Giggly goes on the offense and applies a bearhug to an exhausted Jackies. She lifts her opponent in the air and locks her arms around Jackies. Unable to free herself, JP admits defeat and loses the match via submission. Happy with the win, Gigglypuff tosses her down to the mat while Giganto gets in the ring. He picks up Jackies over her head and is about to bodyslam her when Zar enters the ring to cheers. Giganto tosses Jackie to Zar, who catches her in midair and sets her down out of harms way. Knowing the size difference but not caring, Zar charges at Giganto and takes him down. Giggly is struggling to get Zar off Giganto, but Jackie is back up now and pulls back at Giggly’s hair. Five officials come down to pry these four off eachother, but are having a tough time. The crowd is cheering for each time Zar connects with Giganto, but boo when Giganto finally takes down the Canadian Hero with a big boot.

Jayman: Well Jackie was at quite a disadvantage here after already being beaten by God earlier in the night. And by the time she entered this match, she was spent. Sadly, not by me.
Felix: Well, Zar and Jackie Pies will get there revenge next week at Cliquemania. I’ve signed a tag team match for those two to meet Giganto and Gigglypuff in 1 week. This one will be fought fairly for a change as they will all be healthy going into the match and it will be contested in a ring, and not backstage.
Jayman: Another blockbuster match! Commish, you sure know how to book em!
Felix: Don’t call me Commish.

*A-Bomb is substituting for Jackie this week in the interviewer’s role, and the camera switches backstage to find him smack dab in the middle of Blade and Mikk. They are both in street clothes, and both have a look of intensity on them.

A-Bomb: Mikk..Blade…I’ve arranged this little “debate” backstage to remind the viewers that next week, your bitter feud comes to a head at Cliquemania. I want to do a quick history: at Survivor Monks, you two battled in a “One Night with Giggly” matchup, where the winner would receive a date with Gigglypuff. As we both know, Blade was victorious in this matchup and as a result, Gigglypuff is still currently your….girlfriend…Blade.
Blade: That match was the easiest fight I’ve ever been involved in. Mikk didn’t stand a chance at Survivor Monks, and he doesn’t stand a chance in one week. I’ll prove to him once and for all that he doesn’t belong in my league, and wouldn’t be caught dead near any of the CWO.
A-Bomb: Right. But after that matchup, your contracts forbid you both from touching eachother unless Mikk beat Gigglypuff in singles competition. Of course, Mikk, being the standup guy you are, you refused to wrestle Gigglypuff. But, eventually her teasing and mean-spirited behavior towards you would reach a boiling point.
Mikk: Even though she was acting like a bitch to me, at first I wouldn’t lay a hand on a lady. That’s how I was brought up. But it got to be too much, and yes I agreed to wrestle her at The Clique Rumble. I had to do what I had to do. I stand up to those who are trying to bully me, whether they are male or female.
A-Bomb: That’s correct. And we all know that you won that match, and as a result you are now contractually obliged to meet Blade once again. And wouldn’t you know it, that match is coming up next week at our biggest event of the year. Mikk, you don’t have Gigglypuff on your side, but you sure seem confident still.
Blade (grabbing the microphone): If I can interrupt here for a moment, A-Bitch. Mikk beat a woman in the wrestling ring. Whoop-de-doo. If the Northern Boy thinks that gives him momentum going into this match, he’s wrong. I have Gigglypuff behind me, as well as my boy Giganto and the World Champion himself, Simon. You know Simon….the guy who beat you twice in singles competition. The CWO are just better than you, Mikkster. The odds are stacked against you Mikk, and you really need to watch your back.
Mikk (grabbing the microphone from Blade): Yeah, you have your buddies with you, spoken like a true tough guy. The only things I need to beat you are the two things holding this microphone. I don’t need friends galore and behind-the-back beatdowns. You’ll see in one week come Cliquemania that I’ll have my revenge, whether it means a win or not. I just want to get my hands around your scrawny little preppy neck.

*Mikk hands the microphone back to A-Bomb and walks off, leaving Blade chuckling to himself. He looks at A-Bomb for a second before pushing him to the ground and walking off. A-Bomb gets up and goes to turn away but runs into someone: Simon. The crowd boos upon seeing his mug on the screen, but Simon smiles happily down at the smaller A-Bomb.

Simon: Some interviewer you are. The next matchup tonight is Joe Cool in my “Pick Your Poison” matchup, and you haven’t found me to ask who I’ve picked? Well, given that my boy Giganto got ushered out of the stadium as a result of brawling with Zar, and Blade is heading back to the hotel to lick Gigglypuff wounds for her, I found the next best thing. Joe Cool’s opponent is the guy he is already 0-1 against. The second-scariest guy in the CWF behind me: Suntan Superman. And that match is next.

*We cut back to the ring where Felix is shaking his head at Simon’s pick, and Jayman has his finger up his nose in his own kind of pick. Upon realizing the cameras are rolling, Jayman removes his finger and Felix readies us for the next match. “Banner of Freedom” plays and out walks Suntan Superman to a chorus of boos. He walks down the ramp gingerly, screaming at the fans that are booing him up front. He waits in the ring, and eventually “Heartache Tonight” by The Eagles plays. The crowd cheers the number one contender, and Joe Cool heads out looking ready for a fight. His eyes set on SS, Joe gets in the ring and takes off the towel wrapped around his neck and lunges at Suntan. SS dodges the move and wraps his arms around Joe from behind. A quick german suplex is followed by another one, and another, and another before SS releases his hold. SS heads up to the top rope and leaps off the top. But Joe gains the strength to move out of the way in time. SS crashes stomach-first into the mat and Joe wraps his arm around the ankle of SS, locking it in. Suntan eventually rolls over with his massive frame and uses his free foot to kick Joe in the knee. The blow knocks Joe back and SS is back on his feet. He limps a bit over to Joe, and Joe runs at him but is met with a hip toss by the Samoan. SS picks up Joe over his shoulder in preparation for his Dominator finisher, but “I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman” plays over the speakers. SS looks around, scared, long enough for Joe to wiggle out and roll out of the ring. SS is left along in the middle of the ring and Slimdust makes his way down the ramp. SS is backing up slowly as Slimdust blows him a kiss. Joe is back in the ring and once SS takes his attention off Slimdust, he turns around in time to be met with a boot to the stomach by Joe Cool. Joe hoists up the large Samoan and runs halfway across the ring before dropping him down hard with his running powerslam finisher. Joe covers and scores the 3 as Slimdust looks on from the apron!

Jayman: Give Slimdust the assist here Felix. Our number one contender was able to use the distraction from Slimdust to catch SS off guard and pull out a victory here tonight.
Felix: Well, we all enjoy watching SS get what he had coming to him of late. His constant bullying and gloating were put in check tonight as a result of his….unusual…fear…..of Slimdust.
Jayman: Oh, and look, the “Sexyweight” Champion is getting in the ring.

*Joe has now exited the ring and SS is getting up slowly. He is up in time to see Slimdust nearing him too close for comfort. The look on SS’s face is one of shock and panic. Out of desperation, SS tosses Slimdust to the ground and says, in a tone that has his voice cracking, he accepts a match with him at Cliquemania. He turns to Felix sitting at the announce table and says “This better be for the Not-World Title!!!!”

Jayman: It appears the only reason Suntan Superman agreed to this match is because he wants that title.
Felix: Well, it’s not in my hands though. I will be randomly choosing from a hat after our main event is over. But rest assured I just wrote “Suntan Superman vs. Slimdust” on the paper and it’s now in the hat.

*The CWO theme plays and out walks Simon, with his world title draped over his shoulder proudly. The crowd shouts every obscenity they know at the leader of the Clique World Order, and he laughs it off. Simon slowly struts to the ring, enjoying listening to his theme music. Eventually he gets in the ring and waits for the opponent Joe picked for him. Just then, Joe heads back out to the stage with a microphone in hand, and is talking as he walks towards the ring.

Joe: Simon, Simon. Because 75% of the current posters..I mean Superstars…around here don’t like you, I had a pretty big pool of possible contenders to choose from in the “Pick Your Poison” match tonight. Slimdust agreed to wrestle you, Half-Boy begged for another match with you, even Zar wanted a crack at you. But I had to tell them all no because the best strategy is to give you the best possible competition I could. So, if you want to know who your opponent is, you’re looking in the wrong direction. The person I chose is the guy who came within a ½ count of beating you for your title a few weeks ago, and if you don’t mind I’m going over there to take his spot at the announce table. Your opponent tonight Simon is the guy who REALLY runs this site…er federation….around here, but gets little recognition because you hog all the spotlight: He is Felix!!!!

*”Iron Man” plays again and Felix stands up and removes his suit to reveal wrestling gear underneath. He is smiling up at Simon, who is irate. Felix shakes Joe Cool’s hand and hands over his headset to “The Clique Conscience” before stepping in the ring.

Jayman: What a treat! Not only was my first announcing partner tonight the commissioner, but now I am commentating with the number one contender now! This is great.
Mr. Cool: Thanks Jay. And good luck in your match against Dakstang next week. Show that hillbilly who’s boss.

*The bell rings and Felix and Simon tie up in the center of the ring. Simon tosses Felix to the ground and gets on top of him, throwing punches right to the face. Felix manages to dodge a few, but takes a lot of hard shots to the face. Simon gets up and backs away, yelling at Felix to get up. He slowly does, but he is already busted open a little as some crimson is falling down his face. Simon gets a fishermans suplex on his opponent and heads to the top rope. Simon flies off and lands an elbow drop, and it’s all Simon right now. Felix gets up in time to be met with a clothesline and the crowd is booing all this Simon offense. Simon throws a punch, but Felix grabs the champions wrist in time and twists it around behind his back. The crowd cheers as Simon screams in pain. Felix lands a headbutt once, twice, three times and Simon falls back. He slowly gets up to reveal that he too, is bleeding from the forehead now. The two tired combatants run at eachother and hit a double clothesline, and both are down. The referee begins his 10-count. The crowd stomps and claps for Felix to get up, and he indeed is the first one to get up. Simon follows around the 8-count and Felix tosses Simon into the corner. He, too, falls over from exhaustion. The commissioner didn’t see that he threw Simon into the turnbuckle where he stashed his title belt under. The crowd boos as Simon picks it up, and is yelling at Felix to get up. The referee is in front of Simon, urging him to drop the belt. Simon makes like he is going to swing at the ref, and he moves out of the way in fear. Felix is on his knees and looks up in time to see Simon charging at him. In one motion the belt connects with the skull of Felix, and he crumbles down to the floor and lands like a twisted pretzel. The referee calls for the bell and before he can do anymore damage, Joe Cool stands up and takes off his headset, heading for the ring. Simon sees this and high-tails it out of there.

Jayman: And Simon has lost this match by disqualification! What a cheap ending here tonight, and Felix is busted open and hurt bad. He needs medical attention, but he’s waving it off as Joe Cool is helping him up. Normally we’d cut off our feed here folks, but we need to find out who is fighting for the Not-World Title next week. And Felix is demanding a microphone now.

Felix: (huffing and puffing) Another cheap move by Simon. I’ll get to him in a second. Oww…..now, for the hat. I am drawing who will fight for the Not-World Title next week. And the winner is….(draws a paper) ………Mikk/Blade! That match will have the added benefit of the winner being awarded the Not-World Title. Sorry Suntan, but your match with Slimdust has been signed and will continue as planned.

*Felix is wincing in pain still, and shoos Joe Cool away from helping him stand and addresses the crowd, wiping the blood from his face.

Felix: Now, onto Simon. The past two weeks, you have lost by the same exact result: disqualification. Knowing you like I do Simon, my instincts tell me you’ll try the same thing next week against Joe Cool and leave the match the loser, but still with the title. Because I know you – the title means more to you than anything else. My first plan was to..ow…….make it a no-disqualification match at Cliquemania. But that wouldn’t work, because you would bring out the entire CWO to help you, and that’s not fair. I refuse to have Cliquemania’s main event finished with a shady finish. That’s why I am making the stipulation for your match against Joe Cool as this: Should you get disqualified in your match, your title is stripped and I am awarding Joe Cool the title. (massive cheers) And don’t worry Simon, I’m always one step ahead of you. You are smart; you could technically have the CWO run in and beat down on you, awarding you the win via disqualification. I won’t allow that either: the entire CWF roster is barred from stepping foot past the curtain. This match will end one of two ways: pinfall or submission (cheers). So you had better be prepared Simon, because I know Joe Cool real well: and he is gunning for you and your precious World Title.

Jayman: And there you have it folks! We are running out of time, so before we leave I will run down the full Cliquemania card for you right now:

Zar333/Jackies vs. Giganto/Gigglypuff
Erin vs. God
Jayman vs. Dakstang
Slimdust vs. Suntan Superman
Mikk vs. Blade – Not World Championship
Four Corners Match: I-Squared (c) vs. Anarchy in the UK vs. African Hooligans vs. CM Drunk/Half-Boy – Tag Team Championship
Joe Cool vs. Simon (c) – World Championship; Simon loses the title on a DQ finish

Suntan Superman

WC's Resident Samoan

Damn. Shafted in my hometown again

Good work as always Jay!

Mikk

WC's Sexy Beast

Ohhh am i getting a title match at cliquemania?


I'm gonna smash bla....blitz

Jayman

Super Moderator

I refuse to call him anything but Blade.

Necro

VIP Room Moderator

We are gona win the titles I can sense it haha.

Great job!

Randy Orton

WC's Resident Alchoholic

good work. give the black men some titles

Balla

Video Games Moderator