Friends Dating Friends...

Jayman

Super Moderator

So we hang out with a big group of friends. At times, we have gone out in a group of 20 to the movies, had house parties together, etc…..When a friend begins dating someone new, it seems we “adopt” the new g/f or b/f and some of their friends. Which is cool, the more the merrier, I say.

Well, over this past weekend a group of us drove down to Ohio to visit another friend down there as she was throwing an 80’s party. Included in the trip down there were my best friend, let’s call him Bill, and my wife’s best friend, let’s call her Jill. Bill and Jill have been our best friends, respectively, since grade school. In the past few months they have started flirting with eachother, even though they’ve been friends with eachother for 8 years now. Well, over the weekend they decided to sleep in the same bed as there was limited sleeping space in our friends house. The next morning my buddy and I get in the car to head into town, and the first thing he tells me is “Well, I’m not single anymore”.

I was floored by this: I know it wasn’t a drunken decision by the two, as they have been dancing around this for a few months now by going on dates, stealing kisses when they thought nobody was looking etc…But I didn’t ever think they’d become a couple. In past conversations, they agreed they should probably just be friends, but I was thinking they were more “friends with benefits”, even though it had not gone beyond making out at this point.

Now with them dating, and trust me I’m not pissed about it, our group of friends is faced with a major potential issue: what if Bill and Jill break up? What if it ends messy? Our entire little group could crumble because of it, as many people in the group are friends of them, and it could cause a giant rift should something monumental happen. I mean, I think they are both very good people and aren’t the type that would hold a grudge or make things awkward, but…What if?

Has anyone had this happen before? I’m curious to see what happened by the end of it all. I’m happy for my friend, and my wife is happy for hers…but…I just hope things continue to stay on a good course. Comments?

Blitzkrieg

Administrator

Yes, I've have it happen before.. One of our female friends dated this dude whom was not close to me, but best friends with another guy we hang out with.. Anyway, it ended poorly, and now the dude has gotten back together with his old high school girlfriend and he hangs out with a new crew..

I'm not bothered by it because I didn't particularly care for him all that much, I LOVE hanging out with the girl, but my other friend is understandably upset with it.. and the two of them don't quite see eye to eye either anymore..

Most of my close friends are dudes so it's rare something like this happens.. but it definitely sucks.

I'd say to just treat them like you would treat your divorced parents.. if they are divorced.. Make time for the both of them but definitely DO NOT under any circumstance get in the middle of them. Don't even talk about the other person at all.

Jayman

Super Moderator

If/When they do break up, it'll be tough because it's my best friend and my wifes best friend. They don't seem like the people that will be dickheads around eachother, but you never know. I agree, I won't wanna get in the middle of it, and actually I really don't talk about it much to my buddy. I let him bring up how the relationship is going.

It's not that I don't support it, cause I'm fine with it...I just don't want to get his or my hopes up. Especially because my buddy is "relationship-challenged" as he puts it.