The First Time You Realized You May Be Sexually Retarded

Miakal

Deny it all you want, I know Dynamite won't because he has no dignity, but when did you first realize that you may be completley worthless sexually.

Now, of course I hope you have all learned your lessons. I'm just saying....did you have an episode that was especially bad which made you attempt suicide by jumping off your own penis?

Sure, I've had my fair share of two minute surprise attacks. Hell, even now once in a while I'll have one or two. It happens.

But have you ever just showed your lack of skill? Perhaps you farted or thought her clitoris was her asshole.

The first time I made love to a woman I told her to get off of me when I was done. She started to cry. I said what? I meant it.

I still mean it.

Tyler Durden

You had one while you were typing that didn't you? I just know.

Mine was going down on a chick when I was completely hammered (as was she) and she'd done me "the favour".

I was so drunk and tired and looking for a way out when I suddenly remembered an article I read that said women can sometimes be too stimulated during oral sex.

I worked my way up her body, looked her in the eye and slurred "you know sometimes.....you can just be too stimulated" and promptly fell asleep on her.

Miakal

You've told this story before.

I feel so sad that I remembered it.

Disco Raheem

This one time I fucked a belly button for 25 minutes.

Tyler Durden

What? After 5,000 + posts on both forums I can't repeat myself once in a while. I've got alzheimer for fucks sake, show some humanity

Disco Raheem

There is no punchline, I just fucked a belly button.

Tyler Durden

Was it a consenting belly button?

Disco Raheem

She was passed out. Otherwise I think she would of told me.

Actually, I think she was 13 too. Another reason she probably didn't realise what I was doing wrong.

Tyler Durden

Was she the best belly button you've ever had, or have you had better?

Miakal

I think I'd like to have sex with a belly button.