An object lesson in economics

Tyler Durden

SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.



COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The state takes both and gives you some milk.



FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The state takes both and sells you some milk.



NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The state takes both and shoots you.



TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.



SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.



AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.



ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your public-listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.



A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot and block the roads, because you want three cows.



A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ' Cowkimon ' and market it worldwide.



A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.



AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you do not know where they are. You decide to have lunch.



A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have forty-two cows. You count them again and learn you have two cows. You stop counting cows because you are sobering up and open another bottle of vodka.



A SWISS CORPORATION: You have five thousand cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.



AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.



A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.



IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb you from a great height and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a democracy.



WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.

Inogenius

I'm not sure I understand the Italian or Welsh one?

Blitzkrieg

LOL nice. This was passed out to us in one of my POL SCI courses. Got a kick out of it.

PeaceSells

Super Moderator

Welsh are known sheep shaggers, so they swing for cows too I guess <,<

The Phantom

Sheep = Yes
Cows = No

PeaceSells

Super Moderator

I was waiting for someone Welsh to see that lol

Danny Diamond

Founder/Admin

That was funny. Love the American one. Sounds pretty much right.

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