To Be or Not to Be...Married

Joe Cool

Administrator

Ok here’s the age old question that some of you can answer and some of you can guess at or give opinions on. Does marriage work? Are you of the same mind as Gene Simmons in that one does not have to be married to live with someone and have kids, happiness, etc? I’ve heard him on television many times describing how happy he is to be happily unmarried for 20+ years to Shannon Tweed. Are you a person who doesn’t really want to be with someone and just keep playing the field for forever like Hugh Hefner? Let’s hear some feedback on this people.

From my perspective I’ve always had a high opinion of marriage. Granted I don’t know where it comes from as I’ve seen a lot of marriages fail over the years. I’ve seen numerous divorces and cheaters in my family. I’ve seen abusers and liars. Hell my uncle cheated on my aunt and eventually ended up shooting her and himself in a crazed rage. I’ve seen all kinds of craziness.

However I guess at heart I am a hopeless romantic. My wife often tells me that I am old school in how I believe and think relationships work so that’s one of the reasons why she fell in love with me.

I do believe that there is that one person out there that we are meant to spend our lives with. Some people spend their whole lives searching for that person and that connection. I am thankful that I found mine when I did.

Now I hear you saying well that’s a load of BS….but bare with me. Can most of us look in the mirror and say that you’d be forever happy on your own? You want to spend the rest of your life staring at an empty glass or jumping from bed to bed? If you say yes then ask yourself again in a few years and I can bet dollars to donuts it will change.

The bottom line is a lot of relationships fail due to many reasons. People say they weren’t ready, or they were too young, or the other person changed, etc. I believe that if you spend the right amount of time getting to know someone and searching yourself for what you believe to be right and what should be then 9 times out of 10 marriages can work. Granted there are some occasions where this fails but I don’t believe marriage as a whole is something that is to be looked on with disdain.

For me it even became more obvious when I held my first child in my arms and looked at the smile on my wife’s face. To have that bounding experience where you know you created a life together and you will spend the years to come shaping and forming this tiny being’s life…well it’s a powerful experience and made me a believer in destiny and family.

That was a bit of a long ramble but I think you all get the point on what I was looking for to discuss. Let’s hear some other thoughts on this.

Balla

Video Games Moderator

yeah going out partying and having sex with a different girl every night just isn't for me, i wouldn't mind if i went out partied got drunk and had sex with my girlfriend but not random women that i will never know again., but yeah i think marriage is much more important in life

Gigglypuff

I think marriage is an important thing but Im not sure if its for me. I presume my opinion may change if or when I meet the 'right guy' but right now I think its a blessing enough to find the right person, doesnt necessarily mean that you need to be married.

As for wether it works, i think Im still too young to have any idea. Ive seen so many marriages and relationships fall apart in my short time here. At the moment it seems to me that one person doesnt seem able to fulfill another for a long period of time, and people cheat. Its not a good thing, but it happens and I dont blame anyone that its happened to.

I hope to god there are people out there who find their soulmate and settle down and live happily ever after but I sadly dont think many do and thats why so many people do cheat. Im hoping to be proved wrong.

Blitzkrieg

Administrator

I think you have to be ready to settle down. You can't just jump into this kind of thing obviously, but you can't lie to yourself. It doesn't make you a bad person if you still want to go out and meet new people.

I'm not ready to get married, but I am ready to find a girl that I can work at settling down with. Maybe my new gf, who knows.. I just want to make sure I'm ready to make that comttment. I'm not so much about trying to find randoms anymore but it happens..

Dakstang

WC's Resident Redneck

I totally believe in marraige.

I have no interest in being single the rest of my life.

Randy Orton

WC's Resident Alchoholic

I think it is important but as of right now I doubt I'm going to get married.

CM Drunk

im 27, never been married and got no kids.

Ive had some serious long term relationships, but I gotta find that right one before I get married and start a family. Honestly, I cant wait to have kids, but If it aint going to work, im not just jumping in headfirst. Much to my mothers dismay, who is ready to set up an arranged marriage just so she gets grandchildren from me. Immediatley.

Beaker

I think marriage is important, to some people. Personally I see myself getting married. But to me, the marriage is about the celebration of being together, and finalizing the union. But I don't think you need to get a blood test, and a signed paper saying you're married. I'm about half way to a civil union with my gf right now, so maybe if I hold out long enough I won't have to get that paper work done

U MAD

Necro

VIP Room Moderator

I'm married to the ghetto.


ps. I will be married by 30 I'm sure...

Jayman

Super Moderator

This issue comes up a lot with my friends. Last season during Monday Night football, four of us guys would go out to watch the game at a local bar: two of which were married (me included at the time), two of which weren't. One of the two unmarried guys is still a virgin at 27. Now don't get the wrong idea about him: he's a good looking guy, has had many girlfriends, but just wants to wait until marriage. The other unmarried guy seems to be with all different types of girls, sleeps with them at will, and has numerous interesting "sex stories" for us all. Of the two married guys, I have the most "normal" marriage in that I'm not complaining to my friends everytime my wife isn't around about how she does this...or doesn't do that...etc. My married friend does this constantly. He always seems to complan about her, but deep down loves her.

So between us 4, we all have different views on marriage. I am extremely happy in every way. I do believe that marriage isn't for everyone, such as my bed-romping friend. I can see how some people live together unmarried, but to me that goes against my morals. I guess I'm old fashioned in that I believe if you live together, you should be married (or at least engaged and planning a wedding soon).

In regards to my bed-romping friend, I believe after a few years of being buddies, I have gathered his backstory. He was engaged to be married back in his mid-20's to a girl (who I really never met officially). He found out during the middle of the engagement that she cheated on him, and most likely on more than 1 occasion. He proceeded to give her a verbal lashing, ended it all right there, and swore off women for a while. For quite some time he was single. Now, he views women as one thing: a "vessel" to sleep with. He does this because he now believes that no woman can be trusted. He's letting his 1 past experience with his only serious girlfriend affect possible future relationships. He has no interest in ever being married now, and I believe that. He would REALLY have to find someone that would turn him around. Case in point: his current "girlfriend" is 42 years old with a 16 year old daughter. The KID is closer in age to him than the girl he's seeing. Awkward. However, he just uses her for sex, and she's okay with that because he's a younger guy.

All this rambling is for a point: I believe we let our past experiences in relationships decide how our future with a loved one will pan out. I personally had healthy, fun relationships growing up in high school. As a result, when I met my wife everything just seemed to flow smoothly. I wasn't worried about if she would stray on me, nor would I pick fights for pointless reasons. As a result our relationship matured and 7 years of dating later, we are now celebrating our 1 year wedding anniversary.

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