Growing Older

Joe Cool

Administrator

Looking back over time I have come to realize what people tell you when you’re younger is true. Being a father changes you. Lord knows we all have seen our parents make mistakes that we swear not to repeat and that’s not what I’m getting into but rather how much it changes your lifestyle and ways of thinking.

I was sitting at my desk this morning thinking of how much my life has changed since I had children and was curious about other peoples’ experience in growing older. How has certain life events changed your perspective? I know this is a broad topic but I am looking for a wide range of answers or comments if you will.

For instance, 4 years ago I was living in a small room in the back of a house paying rent to my parents and supporting myself through my second degree in college while trying to stay happy through a truly thankless job.

My life consisted of hanging out with local friends, furthering my comic book hobby (I had over 5000 books), and taking care of my pets.

Now a few years later my views on certain matters have changed 360 degrees. I am the father of two and happily married. I sold the comic collection on ebay earlier this year and made quite the $$$ in exchange for it. I had not maintained it in years. My life solely revolves around my family and being with them rather than concerning myself with the odd get together or party.

It used to be that I spent 3-4 days a week at the gym trying to get into shape. Now that I am dieting again I rarely have the time to go to the gym and don’t feel comfortable being there as most of the crowd there is younger than me now or some dudes that look like the have an air hose shoved up their ass and forgot to take it out. Me being the overweight middle aged man, well let’s just say I feel weird asking Arnold Von Strangle to spot me when I am sure he’ll giggle at what I am lifting.

I now look at other families in a different light and hang out with people who are married and have kids. You find yourself talking about your kids when you have conversations, etc. Single people would not understand this but marriage and all the things that come with it truly take you down a different life path.

My final comment on this is no I don’t drive a mini van….yet. I have a big SUV that takes care of the family nicely while allowing me to maintain what little manly image I have left. I still consider myself the same individual just where I used to look at myself as a good person now I look at myself as a good father and consider that my best trait.

So let’s hear some other thoughts on your experiences that have changed you and made you realize you were getting older.

Felix

Maintenance Worker

I think about this all the time. My life since having children has done a complete 360, just as you said. I don't feel all that old, until I see people's younger brothers / sisters that are now old enough to get into a bar. For instance, my wife and I started dating when I was 16, dated for 6 years, got married, and just had our 13 year anniversary. Her younger brothers, whom where knee high when we met, now have children of their own. When I go through photo albums as see old photos with me picking them up and giving them a hug, and now I'm going out to dinner and their ordering up a beer, it hits me.

I see my parents getting older, and although I'm lucky enough to still have them around, I know that time is coming and that scares me a little, but again, also makes me realize how old I am myself (I'm 36 for those that don't know, so I'm not THAT old).

Going to the bars and drinking til 2am, then hitting a party only to get home at sunrise... those days are over (and, if I were to get a night out like that, I'm not so sure I could actually keep up!).

I've even found myself reading the paper and browsing the obituaries, seeing how old the people around my area were when they passed away. It's scary to think that I'm past the halfway point in the average lifespan (Damn, this is pretty depressing)..

Anyway, There are alot of things that remind me of how much time has passed, how much older I am, but, because of my kids, and my wife, I'm thankful for everything I have, I take the good with the bad, and make the most out of life. I have some pretty bad situations occurring now with work and such, but along with age comes maturity, knowledge, and the realization that you can't worry about things.... you can only make the best of what your dealt...

Well, my old age is kicking in now, because I've completely lost train of thought while trying to type out a post that is on topic

Tyler Durden

I'm enjoying it. I don't think my outlook has changed but, generally speaking, I'm able to relax a little more than I could as a young guy, I'm a lot less tense.

I've reached where I want to reach in life, and am happy about the fact that I can't really go much higher in my job without it having a serious detrimental effect on everything else.

I know that "settling for what you have" isn't a romantic notion with the younger board members, but there's a lot to be said for it. Not feeling you have anything to prove anymore is a big weight off the shoulders and, as the kids are getting older, they're more enjoyable than the harder worked early years.

So all in all, shoot me now!

emmathe37th

David dear, the thread is called 'Growing older' not 'grown old.' I don't think you can contribute here :p

Tyler Durden

I spectacularly failed in my mission of making UK Monkers not think of me as ancient.

SPECTACULARLY!!

Felix

Maintenance Worker

Careful, David and I are the same age

emmathe37th

You may have been born in the same year, but you have far to go til you reach David Age.

Felix

Maintenance Worker

What are you trying to say? David is showing signs of "wear and tear"

Dakstang

WC's Resident Redneck

I am 25 now and though some may not consider that old, I am showing some signs of it. For one, I don't have as much hair as I used too. That is pretty depressing. Another thing I think about is the fact that I don't have a girlfriend and I am not far from the age of wanting to settle down. That is kind of scary when the "Will I grow old alone..." type feeling sets in. Another thing that makes me feel old is that I am still in College and seeing those 18 and 19 years olds everyday sure doesn't make me feel any younger.

Jayman

Super Moderator

Great topic.

While I do not have kids yet, I have recently turned 25, like Dak, and have realized how much has changed in the past 5 years, let alone 10. For example, this morning my garage door spring snapped, and my door wouldn't open automatically. Now 5 years ago I would have called my dad and told him about it, then went on my merry way to school or out with my friends. Now, I have to call into work to explain what happened, and wait while a repairman came. I had to understand what the heck he was doing, so in case this ever happened again I could intelligently talk about it.

Today for lunch, I went out to a local mexican place. On my way out, I noticed a group of 10-15 year olds (I can't tell how old kids are anymore these days) hanging outside with their skateboards, etc. They were talking about some tv show I've never heard of, and laughing, etc. As I got into my car in my black slacks and button-up shirt heading back to work, I realized how differently I see summer. These kids were enjoying themselves in the middle of the weekday, with no responsibilities but which pair of shorts and a t-shirt to wear that day. It was depressing to me as I was driving back to work, knowing I would have to sit in a florescent-lighted cubicle for rest of the beautiful summer day.

Okay, this is getting a bit depressing, sorry. The point is, things aren't the same as you grow older. We all know that, common sense. But almost everything seems different nowadays. When I wake up on a Saturday morning, it's by an alarm clock, not by my mom saying "Honey it's noon, wake up". I get up and read the paper (!!) then debate on which house project to accomplish that day. Of course, I still have my Friday and Saturday evenings to enjoy with friends and my wife. I always say "I work hard, but play hard". You have to keep a balance between the two.

That thought right there is what gets me through the days, as I take on more and more responsibility as I grow older. But each day I wake up, knowing my family and friends are still with me, is a great day to be alive.

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