Relationship Help - Is it wrong to be so needy?

Jackie Pies

Something that I always do to a boyfriend is that when they call to say goodnight, I ask for a short bed time story. Basically it can just be a very short quick statement, but I ask that it's something more than just "I love you".
Granted boyfriends before thought it was silly, but they must have realized how great I am in bed so they gave in.
Giant said no. So I asked a couple of more times over a few weeks and kept getting no. Last night it turned into a fight. He didn't just say no. I told him it was a little thing that means a lot to me. He said "I don't want to do that for you". I told him that maybe from now on I shouldn't bother doing things he likes asking for.

The thing that annoyed me is that I actually like doing all the little things for him. Even things I hate doing or would never want to do (shut up, I'm Not talking about sex), I love doing for him b/c I like making him happy. Cutting off little things for him would hurt me too.
Anyways. He said he won't do it b/c an ex used to ask for similar bedtime quips. Now I'm more pissed that he's comparing me to his useless exes.
Is asking for a little special bed time statement on nights when he doesn't sleep over so awful? Am I too needy on this one? I know I'm super needy so this is probably uber needy too.

I want to win one of our little stupid subject fights for once and don't really want to back down on this one.

If you've made it this far, help.

Dakstang

WC's Resident Redneck

Ermm...I don't understand.

Are we talking like a "Once upon a time...." fairtale story here or what?

Jackie Pies

no. not long drawn out stories, just an extra sentence or two abut something he'd like to do with me or somehing he thought about involving me lately. Not - let's start the story by planning out our entire lives.

Dakstang

WC's Resident Redneck

That doesn't sound like an unreasonable request to me.

Felix

Maintenance Worker

Eh, Don't get me wrong, but this is pretty silly. Don't you have a full blown conversation, prior to the I Love you? What's left to be said... meaning, you just spent time with him on the phone, and probably discussed things the two of you have done, or plan to do... even if it's just a Good night call, you had a conversation... so it's like you are asking for something that probably would have been covered during the call...

Men are pretty simple, as you most likely already know... My wife asks for little things, some of which I do, and some that I could, but I don't... I wouldn't get hung up on this one thing if there are others that he does that makes you happy. I think too many times, people start nit picking in a relationship... almost like you (speaking in general terms now) are looking for something to be upset or mad about...

Think of it like this... if it were sexual.... would you persist to ask you partner to do things that made them feel degraded, uncomfortable, etc... just for your own satisfaction? Although not quite as extreme, I do think it's a similar situation because alot of guys just have a hard time displaying huge amounts of attention / affection, whether it's physical or emotional... Anyway, it doesn't sound like it's worth arguing over.. I say give him a pass, and don't get on him about the exes, you just happened to bring something up with him that in fact occurred with a ex... he gave you his explanation... and you need to take it for what it's worth...


For more useless advise, you can contact the "Ask Felix" Hotline at 800-use-less

Beaker

I get in arguements constantly about stupidness like this. The girls like to do things they dont like to do normally to make their man happy, guys like to do things they like with their girls who also like the same things. Guys don't normally go out of their way to do things they don't like to do, just to make their girls happy. On special occassions is a different story. There are the rare ones, who like to do things they hate to please the girlfriend. I hate rubbing my girlfriends back and what not, my hands cramp up quick, but she does it all the time, but complains I don't. Oh well...

U MAD

WackoJako

I dunno, maybe he's the shy type and he feels silly/ not conformtable verbally saying what he'd like to do. He might wanna not slip up and end up saying the wrong thing like I dunno I see blah blah blah happening for in the next five years, when you might not wanna hear it. or he just can't verbally express his desire/ fantasies of doing things with you.

Jackie Pies

no, he's uber affectionate. that's why I was confused that he was having an issue w/ this request. I figured it was his way of beginning a break up. He's a bad breaker upper by the way - he draws it out.
And he purposely compared me to the ex to upset me when this request is not the same as what the ex used to make.
He and I are just both really needy.
I know it's silly and a little thing, but sometimes you can't argue w/ the little things.
We're both just over defensive. I'm 24 and I've become a girl. Yuck.

Suntan Superman

WC's Resident Samoan

I'd put my two cents in, but i can't figure out my own relationships >.>

The road I walk is paved in gold
To glorify my platinum soul
I am the closest thing to God
So worship me and never stop.
The selfish blood runs through my veins
I gave up everything for fame
I am the life that you adore
I feed the rich and fuck the poor.
This is entertainment
Lives are entertainment
You are down on your knees
Begging me for more.

WackoJako

I hope for your sake it isn't the beginning of a break-up and merely just him being stubborn. I'll agree the ex comment was thrown in just to piss you off which is wrong. Anything happen recently that might have him upset? Maybe just something small you forgot?